Hollowly (1/1)
Title: Hollowly
Arc: The Convergence Arc
Characters: Yukimura, Sanada
Wordcount/Rating: 1150+ words / PG
Summary: Wanting something didn't always mean you received it, but perhaps Yukimura just couldn't see what he already had.
Author's Notes: Sparked by lysapadin's "Pen and Ink", and therefore dedicated to her. Cogs and Gears is a steampunk fic universe with mature themes. All fics in cag_fics are written by either aiwritingfic or mildly_deluded. This fic is located during the Companions arc and stands alone.
After they'd recovered, breathless and panting, Yukimura closed his eyes. He felt sated, but not satisfied. Sated was certainly better than frustrated, though.
"Why, Captain?"
Yukimura turned his head. Sanada's face looked as shocked as the man probably felt, though part of Yukimura wondered if that was just the orgasm and it hadn't worn off yet. Yukimura had been pleased that Sanada had known what to do when needed; now, though, he wondered if his first mate would leave him, and not just tonight.
"Any port in a storm, Genichirou," Yukimura said, smiling pleasantly at his first mate.
People said the East had the most intricate ceremonies and etiquette for every situation. Yukimura begged to differ. There wasn't really any protocol for what one did after one slept with one's friend, someone to whom Yukimura would need to command in the morning. It wasn't really surprising there was a lack of precedent for this, as Eastern nobles normally did not allow themselves to sleep with subordinates. Yukimura had been taught this--it had been drilled into his head. Sleeping with one's lessers created weaknesses where previously there had been none. Noble families had harems and concubines and companions for this purpose; everyone else was off-limits, unless it happened to be a wife.
In the absence of established custom, Yukimura would, then, let Sanada decide what to do next.
He smiled at Sanada, and then turned away, shifting until he was lying with his back to Sanada. "Turn off the light, please," Yukimura said.
He heard no reply from Sanada, though he could feel Sanada's presence still at his back. Yukimura wondered if perhaps he'd misjudged--if Sanada hadn't been interested in him that way after all. Even while being a pirate, Sanada's conduct adhered to the most rigid of Empire standards. There had been very good chances Sanada would turn out to be the conservative type, but Yukimura had thought he'd seen something behind Sanada's respect for the captain of his fleet. Respect for a pirate, he thought with a sardonic inward smile. Would Sanada still respect his captain in the morning?
The covers shifted, and Sanada's weight began to lift off the bed.
Yukimura shut his eyes as the light turned off, the room darkening instantly, stopping short of pitch-black. He listened for the door to open. He couldn't see the moonlight streaming into the room, but he knew it was there. There was a soft movement of air behind him, and Yukimura let out a soft breath. So Sanada had decided to leave. Perhaps it was for the best. In that case, Yukimura would confer with him in the morning, and then they would speak no more of it.
He stiffened as an arm unexpectedly--tentatively--stroked his side.
"Captain?"
Yukimura turned just enough to make sure it was indeed Sanada. The man's voice had sounded uncertain. Though the lamp was now doused, he could still see Sanada in the dim moonlight that came in through the viewing ports. Sanada stood beside the bed, leaning over it, and his face looked somewhat lost, too.
A captain always took care of his men. "Come to bed," Yukimura said, offering Sanada a soft smile. "It's cold tonight." Tezuka was enclosed--imprisoned--in that skycity of his, though he welcomed Yukimura readily enough. For now, though, Yukimura thought, the bed was, at least, not so empty.
Sanada obeyed, climbing in, maintaining his distance. His arm brushed Yukimura's, and Yukimura turned back onto his side away from Sanada. They lay in silence for a while; companionable in Yukimura's case, somewhat quiet and brooding in Sanada's.
Yukimura wondered if Sanada was regretting it. Such a pity, he thought. Sanada had been good, and Yukimura knew that he could trust Sanada to be discreet. Now, though, he wondered if their working relationship had been irrepairably broken by a moment's need. Perhaps it was time to insist that Sanada captain one of the ships in the fleet after all. He'd let Sanada stay as long as he had because Sanada had refused every offer of captaincy that Yukimura had offered, but if things were going to be tense and difficult after this, Yukimura would need to find a different bedmate. And first mate. He hoped it wouldn't come to that. Sanada was ideal, and Yukimura didn't want to get another one. Niou was out of the question. Jackal might do, but he wouldn't be as firm as Sanada was. Not as decisive when it came to important matters, either, and too God-fearing. Yukimura didn't want someone more religious than himself.
As Yukimura was thinking of who he could possibly get to replace Sanada, Sanada spoke. "It's ... not love, right?" he asked.
Yukimura had never seen or heard his first mate so nervous. Sanada and uncertainty did not go well together. He wondered what the crew would think of Sanada if they could see this side of him. "It's not," Yukimura agreed, nodding. It wasn't, after all. Merely need and convenience.
"Alright," Sanada said, sounding as if he'd just made a decision. Yukimura could feel Sanada's weight shift and settle behind him. Then Yukimura felt Sanada's hands on his shoulders, before they paused. "May I, Captain?"
"You may," Yukimura said, wondering what Sanada intended to do.
He was pulled back, then, against Sanada's chest. A strong arm wrapped around Yukimura, and he could feel Sanada's fingers in his hair, combing lightly through it. Presumably to move it away from his mouth, Yukimura thought with an internal chuckle as he chuckled softly.
"Captain?" Sanada's tone was faintly questioning.
"It's nothing," Yukimura said, smiling into the darkness. "I should have guessed you for a cuddler." He wondered if Tezuka cuddled.
Sanada didn't say anything, but Yukimura felt the fingers leave his hair to trace down his sides. They didn't tease, and they weren't demanding; merely left a trail of warmth tingling in their wake. Yukimura smiled. "Goodnight, Genichirou," he said warmly.
"Goodnight, Captain," was the quiet reply.
Yukimura lay there, looking at nothing in particular in that unique not-light not-dark. He wondered how Tezuka's fingers would behave in bed. Would they stroke his hair? Or perhaps the skin of his back? His sides? Or would they perhaps do nothing, and Yukimura would be the one left to touch?
He sighed softly, wishing he knew for sure.
The arm around him tightened a little. "Goodnight, Captain," Yukimura heard again, a firmer repetition. He could feel Sanada's fingers continuing to stroke his skin gently, warming him. Yukimura closed his eyes.
That night, he did not dream.
Arc: The Convergence Arc
Characters: Yukimura, Sanada
Wordcount/Rating: 1150+ words / PG
Summary: Wanting something didn't always mean you received it, but perhaps Yukimura just couldn't see what he already had.
Author's Notes: Sparked by lysapadin's "Pen and Ink", and therefore dedicated to her. Cogs and Gears is a steampunk fic universe with mature themes. All fics in cag_fics are written by either aiwritingfic or mildly_deluded. This fic is located during the Companions arc and stands alone.
After they'd recovered, breathless and panting, Yukimura closed his eyes. He felt sated, but not satisfied. Sated was certainly better than frustrated, though.
"Why, Captain?"
Yukimura turned his head. Sanada's face looked as shocked as the man probably felt, though part of Yukimura wondered if that was just the orgasm and it hadn't worn off yet. Yukimura had been pleased that Sanada had known what to do when needed; now, though, he wondered if his first mate would leave him, and not just tonight.
"Any port in a storm, Genichirou," Yukimura said, smiling pleasantly at his first mate.
People said the East had the most intricate ceremonies and etiquette for every situation. Yukimura begged to differ. There wasn't really any protocol for what one did after one slept with one's friend, someone to whom Yukimura would need to command in the morning. It wasn't really surprising there was a lack of precedent for this, as Eastern nobles normally did not allow themselves to sleep with subordinates. Yukimura had been taught this--it had been drilled into his head. Sleeping with one's lessers created weaknesses where previously there had been none. Noble families had harems and concubines and companions for this purpose; everyone else was off-limits, unless it happened to be a wife.
In the absence of established custom, Yukimura would, then, let Sanada decide what to do next.
He smiled at Sanada, and then turned away, shifting until he was lying with his back to Sanada. "Turn off the light, please," Yukimura said.
He heard no reply from Sanada, though he could feel Sanada's presence still at his back. Yukimura wondered if perhaps he'd misjudged--if Sanada hadn't been interested in him that way after all. Even while being a pirate, Sanada's conduct adhered to the most rigid of Empire standards. There had been very good chances Sanada would turn out to be the conservative type, but Yukimura had thought he'd seen something behind Sanada's respect for the captain of his fleet. Respect for a pirate, he thought with a sardonic inward smile. Would Sanada still respect his captain in the morning?
The covers shifted, and Sanada's weight began to lift off the bed.
Yukimura shut his eyes as the light turned off, the room darkening instantly, stopping short of pitch-black. He listened for the door to open. He couldn't see the moonlight streaming into the room, but he knew it was there. There was a soft movement of air behind him, and Yukimura let out a soft breath. So Sanada had decided to leave. Perhaps it was for the best. In that case, Yukimura would confer with him in the morning, and then they would speak no more of it.
He stiffened as an arm unexpectedly--tentatively--stroked his side.
"Captain?"
Yukimura turned just enough to make sure it was indeed Sanada. The man's voice had sounded uncertain. Though the lamp was now doused, he could still see Sanada in the dim moonlight that came in through the viewing ports. Sanada stood beside the bed, leaning over it, and his face looked somewhat lost, too.
A captain always took care of his men. "Come to bed," Yukimura said, offering Sanada a soft smile. "It's cold tonight." Tezuka was enclosed--imprisoned--in that skycity of his, though he welcomed Yukimura readily enough. For now, though, Yukimura thought, the bed was, at least, not so empty.
Sanada obeyed, climbing in, maintaining his distance. His arm brushed Yukimura's, and Yukimura turned back onto his side away from Sanada. They lay in silence for a while; companionable in Yukimura's case, somewhat quiet and brooding in Sanada's.
Yukimura wondered if Sanada was regretting it. Such a pity, he thought. Sanada had been good, and Yukimura knew that he could trust Sanada to be discreet. Now, though, he wondered if their working relationship had been irrepairably broken by a moment's need. Perhaps it was time to insist that Sanada captain one of the ships in the fleet after all. He'd let Sanada stay as long as he had because Sanada had refused every offer of captaincy that Yukimura had offered, but if things were going to be tense and difficult after this, Yukimura would need to find a different bedmate. And first mate. He hoped it wouldn't come to that. Sanada was ideal, and Yukimura didn't want to get another one. Niou was out of the question. Jackal might do, but he wouldn't be as firm as Sanada was. Not as decisive when it came to important matters, either, and too God-fearing. Yukimura didn't want someone more religious than himself.
As Yukimura was thinking of who he could possibly get to replace Sanada, Sanada spoke. "It's ... not love, right?" he asked.
Yukimura had never seen or heard his first mate so nervous. Sanada and uncertainty did not go well together. He wondered what the crew would think of Sanada if they could see this side of him. "It's not," Yukimura agreed, nodding. It wasn't, after all. Merely need and convenience.
"Alright," Sanada said, sounding as if he'd just made a decision. Yukimura could feel Sanada's weight shift and settle behind him. Then Yukimura felt Sanada's hands on his shoulders, before they paused. "May I, Captain?"
"You may," Yukimura said, wondering what Sanada intended to do.
He was pulled back, then, against Sanada's chest. A strong arm wrapped around Yukimura, and he could feel Sanada's fingers in his hair, combing lightly through it. Presumably to move it away from his mouth, Yukimura thought with an internal chuckle as he chuckled softly.
"Captain?" Sanada's tone was faintly questioning.
"It's nothing," Yukimura said, smiling into the darkness. "I should have guessed you for a cuddler." He wondered if Tezuka cuddled.
Sanada didn't say anything, but Yukimura felt the fingers leave his hair to trace down his sides. They didn't tease, and they weren't demanding; merely left a trail of warmth tingling in their wake. Yukimura smiled. "Goodnight, Genichirou," he said warmly.
"Goodnight, Captain," was the quiet reply.
Yukimura lay there, looking at nothing in particular in that unique not-light not-dark. He wondered how Tezuka's fingers would behave in bed. Would they stroke his hair? Or perhaps the skin of his back? His sides? Or would they perhaps do nothing, and Yukimura would be the one left to touch?
He sighed softly, wishing he knew for sure.
The arm around him tightened a little. "Goodnight, Captain," Yukimura heard again, a firmer repetition. He could feel Sanada's fingers continuing to stroke his skin gently, warming him. Yukimura closed his eyes.
That night, he did not dream.