Picspam Reaction/Recap: Sherlock Series 3 Episode 2 (Part 2 of 5)
WARNING: CONTAINS IMAGES AND DETAILS OF THE SHERLOCK SERIES 3 SECOND EPISODE. If you are not watching Sherlock Series 3 at UK pace, this post is CHOCK FULL OF SPOILERS. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.
Picspam Reaction for Sherlock Series 3 Episode 2 - Part 2
PART ONE
PART TWO - "The Sign of Three"
Onward!
-*alarming semi-mechanical thumping noises* OH SHIT, CYBERMEN! RUN!!! Oh wait, no, no, it's just Mycroft on a surprisingly noisy treadmill. You'd think he'd have the quietest one available. Perhaps Sherlock's modified it so Mycroft sounds like he weighs 30 stone while running on it. *nods*
-"Why are you out of breath?"/"Filing." Pfffft. I think maybe Mycroft encourages Sherlock to taunt him about his weight because that way he gets more interaction with his brother. Though, not saying he was on the treadmill could also be defensiveness about Sherlock taunting him about his weight. Either way, this is the first time we've seen Mycroft not in a suit, isn't it?
-"Either I've caught you in a compromising position or you've been working out again. I favour the latter." Which would be yes to the defensiveness. Aw. Don't worry, your brother's a bit of a jerk to everyone. *pats Mycroft*
-"Today, it's today, isn't it?" Heh. I get the impression Sherlock might have been driving Mycroft nuts with data requests for the hardest to access info on every single wedding attendee and their plus ones. Which, again, given there is still a person or persons unknown to them who seems to think that abducting John Watson and stuffing him into a bonfire is a fine and dandy thing to do on a rainy weekday, along with every other potential threat or disrupting factor out there (whether dangerous or just awkward like David), it's an arguably reasonable precaution. This is why you R.S.V.P. for these things; so the Best Man can run stalkery security checks on you and make sure your petty theft of office supplies from work doesn't make you a possibly subornable dupe for one of his (and by association the groom's) many potential enemies.
-"I won't be coming to the 'Night Do' as you so poetically put it." Oh, it's a social thing like a second late reception. Maybe? That explains the line about the commandeering of jets. I was thinking Sherlock was talking something along the lines of an emergency air strike in case someone who turned up in need of an emergency security check turned out to require missiles to thwart. Hahaha yeah I blame the medication. And the raging paranoia. *facepalm*
-"Mary and John will be extremely-"/"-delighted not to have me hanging around." Aw. He has a point there, though there must have been some conversations had between Mycroft and John in the past few months to clear up that "Oh by the way, I not only knew all along, I helped him do it, and the information I leaked to Moriarty about Sherlock's life and who his friends are was all deliberate and probably put you all in more danger than you would have been otherwise," matter for him to get an invite at all.
-It paused like this. What can I say. He looks... I don't know.
-Seeing a lot more of Sherlock, just like old times... Is Mycroft agitating for Sherlock to get worried about John now? I don't know whether that's aw-worthy or creepy. On one hand, he wants Sherlock not to lose his best friend and isn't above goading to push him into making an effort to keep John as his best friend, on the other hand, 'worries constantly' and is lonely and bored enough to hang out playing Operation with his little brother.
-"It's the end of an era, isn't it?" OKAY, I AM TAKING THAT AS CANON CONFIRMATION THAT MYCROFT HAS 221B BUGGED. And that Mycroft is goading Sherlock. HA.
-"I prefer to think of it as the beginning of a new chapter." Aw. Mycroft's face. His baby brother's expressing a mature opinion about a changing relationship. And he doesn''t believe a single word of it, or is assuming Sherlock's fooling himself.
-"I know that silence." Or is still being a prat and goading.
-"You have a big speech or something, don't you?" Yep, goading, and getting Sherlock rattled before the speech. Prat.
-"I'm not involved."/"I believe you. Really." Seriously Sherlock, he's probably been winding you up the same way since you were kids. Just do the mature thing, blow a loud wet raspberry into the phone and hang up. Go back to the party and give an awesome speech that I'm sure will be painfully awkward, yet adorable. Oh, but do remember to ask about that suddenly appearing probably-unchecked guest first. Though he's probably reassured by John's recognition of him, and he doesn't have the oversight of knowing we watched the guy getting grimly dressed and looking like nine kinds of impending murder which ups his importance to the imminent dire twist of events, so a bit of security laxness in that direction is understandable at this late stage. Although that's going to turn out to be a huge mistake. Eeek.
-"Have a lovely day and do give the happy couple my best."/"...I will." Definitely winding him up. Poke him in the sentiment and then give him nothing to object to or fight against so his re-activated worry about possibly losing his best friend has nothing to do but spin around inside him, throwing him off-balance like a load of manky old towels. Tsk tsk, Mycroft. *headshake*
-"Do you remember Redbeard?" EEEE! It's a pet or a teddy bear or something from Sherlock's childhood when he was into pirates and maybe it's something that he lost because he didn't try harder to keep it and Mycroft is a serious frigging troll if that's the case. Calculating bastard, deliberately making Sherlock freak out about losing John, which. Hm. Could be foreshadowing too, if my speculations are correct, but the rest of you all on the far side of 3.03 will know how right or wrong I am about that, won't you? BUT PLEASE DON'T TELL ME. It'll be at least another week before I get through 3.03. (Which, since due to illness and work I've been having to watch this episode in few-minute-a-day increments is airing right this very second as I type. *bites nails*)
-Awwww, Sherlock's face. Yeah, it's something that was lost and thinking about it will stuff Sherlock full of manky old emotional towels right before the Best Man speech. Aw. *hugs Sherlock* Mycroft is a troll. Is anyone surprised? No? Gee, imagine that.
-"I'm not a child anymore, Mycroft." Don't be silly, Sherlock. Everyone is, somewhere deep down inside.
-"Enjoy not getting involved, Sherlock." Arch-enemy. I'm seeing it now. That's the thing with family, they know exactly how to most effectively push your buttons, because they are often the ones who installed those buttons in the first place.
-John and Mary certainly put on a decent spread, so they (or Mary's family, who I think traditionally picks up the tab for the wedding) aren't hurting for money. Last wedding I was at, the reception was a pot luck.
-"Pray, silence for the Best Man." Oh dear. Here we go. If John gets compared to Sherlock's old beloved and lost teddy bear/pet named Redbeard if/when Sherlock tosses his planned speech in favour of speaking from the heart, I may sprain something vital. *suspiciously eyes table of possible wedding gifts in the back and hopes someone has checked them for bombs and toxic materials* What? Sherlock and Molly could take the all down to Bart's the night before and x-ray them all. I'm just saying. It's not paranoia when there are mysterious people still at large who like stuffing John into bonfires and trying to blow up large buildings full of people.
-*refills tea* What, delaying? Me? Nah.
-"Ladies and Gentlemen, family and friends, and... uhmmmm... others." Oh dear. Already getting some interesting looks from those who know him well. I see David is sat at the same table as Sherlock's own core trusted group so they can unknowingly keep an eye on him while Sherlock is busy at the head table. He probably hasn't told anyone "this is Mary's obsessed ex, make sure he behaves," but if David does anything even a bit off, the crew is there to catch him before it gets out of hand. Also, the guy has his back to the head table, so he can't see Mary unless he turns around, so it'll be obvious if he's looking, and Sherlock is right there beside them watching too. The guy is frigging surrounded. That's how you control a potential threat. *nods approvingly*
(Oh they did have a red wine to go with the beef, I had a vague wonder about that but didn't say anything because I know damn near nothing about fancy dinners and what wine goes with what.)
-And still looking a bit concerned. That's a long awkward pause. *notes location of Major Sholto, table behind the table the usual crew is at* And I would just like to note that aside from tableware and kitchen utensils, Major Sholto is likely the only person here actually carrying a deadly weapon. The sword is ceremonial and all, but it's still an actual sword, and I doubt John would have even thought to suggest it be peace-bonded, as that would be a rather horrible insult. So. *considers that meat skewer seen being conspicuously used by the philandering kitchen staffer the Chief Bridesmaid got Sherlock to deduce* Possible sword vs skewer fight in the offing?
-*random noises and face wiggles* Uh oh. Here comes the Mycroft-spurred spontaneous rewrite where Sherlock obliquely compares John to his teddy bear/schnauzer.
-John is already wincing. Or twitching. Hard to say. Mary looks like she's having a mildly amused and slightly horrified flashback to the last dinner she was at with John where Sherlock showed up and gave a little sort of a speech, and is pretty sure this one won't end with a brawl all across town, but is determined to find whatever comes out of Sherlock's mouth here pleasant and charmingly heartfelt no matter how insane it could be. Her hands are pretty tightly locked together and her left eyebrow is expressing some early doubts though.
-"A- a- also..." And more awkward pause. Speeches. If my Hell isn't an endless receiving line, it'll be public speaking. *cringes deeply into chair*
-Aw, Greg looks like he wants to jump up and rescue Sherlock, but then deliberately puts his napkin in his lap so he won't. AWWWWWWW. *flails*
-Flashback! Hee! We'll get the whole run-up to the wedding filled in yet! \o/
-"I just had a thought."/"Is that brain?" Hahaha. Molly's hair is quite practical for the workplace, all the ends tucked up, and looks pretty too.
-"He'll have to make a speech in front of people. There'll be actual people there, actually listening."/Greg: *looks like he's seeing a coming apocalypse* Me: *sneeeeerk* It's a genuine cause for concern, granted, but there's just something about John and Sherlock's friends being concerned about them in social situations that's just made of masses of fluffy Awwww. *smishes Molly and Greg*
-"Helen Louise probably wondered the same."/"Helen Louise?" Ahahahaha. Although, unless she was the tragic victim of a Best Man toast gone horribly awry, I don't think there's really a direct correlation.
-Aw, Molly's hitting the entire 'impending Sherlock and John disaster' phone tree.
-"What, the speech, dear? I know! It'll be fine." Oh dear. The doom levels have suddenly increased.
-"It's not just the speech though, is it?" What else does the Best Man... AH! Of course, how could I have already forgotten. STAG NIGHT! Right??? *bounces*
-Sherlock coming home to mad cackling from Mrs Hudson in 221A. That can't be a common occurrence. OH WAIT no, it's John! HA. Oh crap. (And he still has the keys. Awwwwww.) XD
-"I was coming to see Sherlock and I thought you were.... possibly dying." *snerk*
-"The telegrams!" And this is John's 'I have no idea what the hell you're talking about, but you obviously find it hilarious, so I am fully prepared to laugh as soon as I understand' face. Mine did more of a 'Whahuh?' but I have a far less complex range of facial expression than John Watson does.
-"Telegrams." I think John just got the joke and realized it's not quite so funny from his side of the head table.
-And if John hadn't said anything, they might have escaped 'telegrams' whatever that is (maybe some kind of 'messages from people who couldn't come' reading? In which case emails, in which case, Sherlock deducing them as he reads them (oh god). But hey, now I'm looking forward to Sherlock reading out Harry's probable string of emoticons), but I must say, Mary's face is just- *waves hands in the air grinning* I mean just look at that face! Hee!
-"Wedding tradition. Because we don't have enough of that already, apparently." And John appears to be having a qualm or two straight into the camera, and Mary's doubting eyebrow is resting smugly at its predictive powers as the rest of Mary's face catches up. Hee!
-"Good luck and best wishes, Mike Stamford." Awwww, okay, I'm appeased at the lack of visible Mike now.
-"With love and many big- ...big squishy cuddles from Stella and Ted." Ha! Aw, nothing wrong with big squishy cuddles now and then, Sherlock.
-Ah, see? I thought Molly looked a bit evil earlier. XD
-"...poppet." *snerk*
-"Wish your family could've seen this." Oh, ow. Bit of an ambush there. So Mary's folks are no longer alive then. Aw. *hugs Mary* And John's little inquiring nose-noise and hand-hold, making sure Mary's okay and *flailing now* because awwww they are so cute and schmoopy and such partners and *flaps hands at ACD canon* Mary and just aaaaaaah! You know? Maybe not, but *flaaail*
-"Love... love... love... Bit of a theme, you get the general gist, people are basically fond." Oh dear. No reading out all Harry's emoticons then? Hm. I'm going to think that at least one of those unread messages was a thinly veiled threat from some minor criminal wanting to be an ass on John and Mary's wedding day, since Sherlock has obviously not gone through them and read them beforehand. If Moriarty wasn't dead he would have sent one. His emoticons would have been epic.
-"John Watson. *points*" Yes, I'm pretty certain everyone here knows who he is, Sherlock. Hehe. Although the Chief Bridesmaid who Sherlock has been wing-manning for all evening appears to be contemplating his butt rather than paying attention to what he's saying.
-"My friend, John Watson." So serious. Oh god. I'm going to preemptively facepalm and try to sit on my hands for a bit or I will never make it through this speech. (Incidentally *points to left hand side of following image* those two again. I'd say almost certainly John's parents, they're far too conspicuous and far too close to the head table to be otherwise.)
-"When John first broached the subject of being Best Man, I was confused." Except there's flashbacks all through so I can't. Arg.
-Toasting an eyeball with an open flame, as one does in one's bathrobe in 221B.
-"Sounded like she was torturing an owl." Hee! Valid.
-"Well it was, laughter."/"Could have been both." If it was you, Sherlock, maybe. Not so much Mrs Hudson though.
-Sherlock: *drops eyeball in tea* Me: *tortures a few owls of my own*
That table is atypically tidy. Hm.
-"Tea?" HEE!
-"Billy Kincade, the Camden garroter, best man I ever knew. Vast contributions to charity never disclosed. Personally managed to save three Hospitals from closure, and ran the best and safest children's homes in North England." And John's knowledge of 'why it's best not to be at all vague in Sherlock's direction is rapidly refreshed.
-"Ye-es, every now and again there would be some garrotings, but stacking up the lives saved against the garrotings-" This is Sherlock's moral outlook. Like a carbon-offset, but for murder. Hrm. I'm thinking perhaps the people who were garroted may not have been exactly nice people, or Billy was a sort of hitman who guiltily plowed his earnings into charity works, or both. *quickly googles to be sure this isn't an actual historical case of a serial killer* Nope. Head-canon engaged.
-"I need a Best Man."/"Oh right."/"Maybe not a garroter." Not often a prerequisite for members of the wedding party, but if it's the fellow who's going to be checking that your tie is on straight, that might be a wise criteria to add.
-"Gavin?"/"Who?"/"Gavin Lestrade." He's switched from thinking it was Graham at least. He may yet switch to thinking it was George or the former fandom-favoured 'Geoff'
-"He's a man and, good at it? *semi-shrug*" PFFFFT!! Oh god, I hope he isn't providing all these details in the speech, Lestrade might get a very unusual facial expression cramp from that statement.
-"It's Greg, and he's not my best friend."/"Oh, Mike Stamford, I see. He's nice." *facepalm* The thing is, I can't tell whether he's being genuinely obtuse, or trolling John again.
-"This is the biggest and most important day of my life-"/"Weeell-"/"No. It is." Hee!
-"I want to be up there with the two people I love and care about most in the world." *FLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIL* BEST FRIENDS STATEMENT OF EXTREME SCHMOOOOOOOP! *flailflailflail* Aw. And it's still not going to sink in until John beats him over the head with a direct question.
-(I also think there has to have been a rather detailed and intensive conversation between Sherlock and John between getting off the bomb train and having the party last episode, because at the bottom of the stairs before the party and press conference, John's not asking "why" anymore, he's asking "how". As shadowfireflame pointed out in the 3.01 recap comments, everyone wants to know 'how Sherlock did it' except John, who wants to know 'why', and 'how could he'. He must know why at that point then if he's semi-idly querying about the how. So. Something happened there. Missing scene! \o/)
-Sherlock: *blank* Aww. Still can't tell if he's really that oblivious. It is possible though.
-"Mary Morstan." Yay! Confirmation they used the same full name. They didn't mention it that I noticed last episode, and I was watching for it.
-"Yes?"/"John: *aggrieved nasal exhalation*" See! Wonderfully expressive nose. Best nasal acting in the business.
-"And... you."/"*uncappable stunned eyelash fluttering*" Awww. *pats Sherlock* Awwwwwwwwwwwwwww.
-"I expressed that I was both flattered and surprised." After a very long time standing frozen as his mental processors bog to the point of shut down. Five foot taps. I think John may have temporarily broken him. XD
-"I explained to him that I'd never expected this request and I was a little daunted in the face of it."/Flashback John: "Sherlock?"/Flashback Sherlock: "*404 Brain not found*" Sherlock Holmes has well and truly failed his boggle check. Awww. He must have still had leftover thoughts after coming back that regardless of what John might have said after they talked, on some level he thought John would never forgive him unless he thought he was about to die. And now John's sitting in the kitchen in 221B telling Sherlock that he's one of the two people he loves and cares about most in the world and he's his best friend, and he wants Sherlock to be his Best Man. Among other things, Sherlock's probably running a mental check-routine to confirm he's not dreaming or hallucinating, and on another level digging through the mind palace to find out what the hell being a Best Man entails, if he's gotten to that level of practical processing yet. In short, Sherlock's brain has gone all 'splody all over everywhere. *flaaail*
-Sherlock: *loads of bafflegab about things he said*/John's face: 'Erm... not really?'
-"I thanked him for the trust he placed in me" (Oh yes, that's another big thing Sherlock would have been thinking he might have lost forever *flail*) "and indicated that I was, in some ways, very close to being moved by it."/Flashback Sherlock: *face of intense near-wibble* AWWWWWWWWW. LOOK AT THAT FACE! *giggles at the tap dripping in the background*
-"That's getting a bit scary now." Heee! It's less movementy than the usual Mind Palace Macarena, certainly. Looking more and more to John like an absence seizure probably, considering the blinking just before. Meanwhile Sherlock's brain is hung somewhere between disbelief, relief, joy, and songs from Disney musicals.
-"It later transpired that I had said none of this out loud." *snerk* Awwwwwww.
-Faaaace. Awwww. *flail*
-"Sooo, in fact... you- you mean..."/"Yes?"/"I'm your.... best..."/"Man."/"-friend?" *literally flails hard enough to dislodge headphones* I HAVE NO WORDS ONLY FLAILINGS AND KEYMASHINGS!!!
-AND THEN JOHN'S FACE COMES IN AND KILLS ME ALL OVER AGAIN SOME MORE BECAUSE HE'S SO GOBSMACKED THAT SHERLOCK WAS SO GOBSMACKED BECAUSE HE DIDN'T THINK THAT JOHN WOULD THINK OF HIM AS HIS BEST FRIEND AND JUST- ADFLKJFDALKFDASJKL! *FLAAAILLLIIIIINNNGGGGGG!!!!*
-"Yeah of course you are. Of course. You're my best friend." *WORDLESS HANDFLAPPING EVERYWHERE* I mean, obviously, but just. *burbles nonsensically about friendship and isolation and how easy it is to think that you're only being tolerated rather than anyone thinking of you as a friend at all* oh never mind, just *flail* \o/
-Of course, they're the sort of best friends who occasionally troll each other by making their best friend believe they're going to be blown up, or by sitting quietly and saying nothing while their best friend drinks from a cup of tea with a lightly toasted eyeball in it. But hey, every friendship has its little quirks.
-"How was that?"/"Surprisingly okay." HEEE! Looks like it might have been kind of funky. Probably worse than the tea I've got that smells like fishy wet dogs.
-"When you gaze long into a tea, the tea also gazes into you" Sorry, sorry. I blame the medication.
-Speech time, oh crap. (The Chief Bridesmaid is really not being at all subtle, is she?)
-That's not a speech, that's a novel. If the cues and detail notes don't fit on both sides of a 4X6 index card, it's too damn long or you're using the wrong font. Not that is matters, they're all going to go flying in a minute.
-Molly's looking worried. Greg's looking ready to hide under the table. Wise man, Greg.
-"I'm afraid, John, I can't congratulate you." Oh dear. Don't go trying to be clever there Sherlock, not everyone in the room is used to your sense of humour.
-"All emotions and in particularly love stand opposed to the pure cold reason I hold above all things." Oh, right. *facepalm* Not the best time to pull that particular near-canon quote out of the bag there, Sherlock, but *fistpump of canon-referencing* anyway.
-See? John and Mary are at least slightly used to him, if still lightly horrified, but that bridesmaid is looking like she's going to murder him if he doesn't shut up. In fairness, he'd probably find that more entertaining than giving the speech.
-"False and specious and irrational and sentimental in this ailing and morally corrupt age." Yes, also canon-referencing *fistpump*, but I'm hoping he'll reverse it all in some way that at least John and Mary will understand, even if everyone else in the room continues to think of him as an ass.
-"Today we honour the death-watch beetle that is the doom of our society-" What? Oh god. Hasn't Lestrade hidden under the table yet? I might join him. Hehe. Although, um... You know, every time we get a two-shot of Molly and Lestrade, they're seated a leeeeetle bit closer together. Greg's practically got his arm around Molly there, and poor Tom's way down along the side. Oh dear. Poor poor Tom. *pats*
-"-and I feel certain, our entire species." *pats Sherlock as the crowd mutters* Get to the part where you reverse it so John and Mary know you're actually being nice in your own way, or failing that, get to the part where you sit down before you have an angry mob on your hands.
-"But anyway, let's talk about John." Yes. Let's. Although keep in mind in your anecdotes that there are police officers in the crowd so no saying anything about how within 24 hours of meeting him he shot a cabbie to save you from stupiding yourself to death by taking a poison pill, m'kay?
-"If I burden myself with a little help-mate on my adventures-" *headdesk* Oh god. At least Mary's back to being determinatedly amused.
-"He has many fine qualities he has overlooked in his obsession with me." I repeat, oh god. *hides under something even if Lestrade isn't under there too* Lestrade's taking a drink right now. Odds of a 'public revelation of some kind of criminal activity done by John that Lestrade will have to not conveniently ignore since everyone at the wedding has been told' related spit-take increasing.
-"Any reputation I have for mental acuity and sharpness comes in truth from the extraordinary contrast John so selflessly provides." And so he calls him a dull-witted idiot. Yup. Still hiding. Someone should have beta'd Sherlock's speech, but really, I think it would be going this way no matter who's opinions he got on it.
-And just to round out the head table, he's gone and called all the bridesmaids exceptionally plain. To the positive, I don't think she's going to be staring at his butt much anymore.
-That blonde one I thought might be Harry but isn't is definitely thinking of murder now.
-"Contrast is after all God's own plan to enhance the beauty of His creation-" Well, he made the priest smile. And John pray. ("Please God, let him shut up"? XD)
-"-or would be if God were not a ludicrous fantasy designed to provide a career opportunity of the family idiot." Yep, he made the priest smile. Very briefly. PFFFT! *headdesk*
-Considering it's 25 minutes in, and much as I could actually watch them all doing a normal (sort of) wedding and social things for the whole 90 minutes I suspect something murdery is going to happen soon, and if it's death threats against Sherlock Holmes, I think the entire room is well on its way to developing motive.
-And this might be Sherlock's "Oh right, I was planning to say nice things instead of giving my real opinions. Oops!" face. Or it might be time for the reversal. Because Sherlock standing up there and saying bland nice things and funny anecdotes and not being an ass at all would never have felt like him.
-"The point I am trying to make is that I am the most unpleasant, rude, ignorant, and all-round obnoxious arse-hole that anyone could possibly have the misfortune to meet." Yep, reversal time. Awww.
-"I am dismissive of the virtuous-"
"-unaware of the beautiful-" (careful, she'll start ogling your butt again)
"-and uncomprehending in the face of the happy." Aww. John I think is on the way to okay. Mary looks like she could use a cup of tea though. With a shot of brandy. She's only been around Sherlock a few months after all, he takes a while to really get used to.
-"So if I didn't understand I was being asked to be Best Man, it is because I never expected to be anybody's best friend." Aw. *nods* Yep. Feeling unlovable, unworthy of having friends. It's a horrible feeling but you get used to it. It becomes part of who you are when you live with it for most of your life. Even on finding a friend it's still there, making you doubt and disbelieve, thinking that any second they're going to realize the awful mistake they made getting to know you and hate you instead, or just stop caring. That feeling and mindset being spectacularly and inarguable reversed would understandably blow all your breakers, if you're lucky enough for that to happen. Anyway. He's not doing bad on the reversal of his speech at all, because now I want to wrap him in blankets and feed him soup.
-OH MOLLEEEEEEEE with the wibble-face, awww.
-"Certainly not the best friend of the bravest and kindest and wisest human being I have ever had the good fortune of knowing." See? Reversal. Yay. And an Aw from someone in the crowd.
-"John, I am a ridiculous man-" And John's head-tilt and forehead say 'no argument at all, there.'
-"-redeemed only by the warmth and constancy of your friendship." *FLAAAAAAAAAILIIIIIING NOW* Awwwww!
-"But as I am apparently your best friend I cannot congratulate you on your choice of companion." Oh, meaning himself, being a horrible person no one sane would want to be friends with etc, so Pfffft. GAH. *facepalm* *headshake* Missed that earlier, as was the intent.
-"Actually, now I can." Because Mary is awesome. Awww.
(Look at Mary's face. Just glowing. My god.)
-"When I say you deserve this man, it is the highest compliment of which I am capable." AWWWWWWW! I know I'm practically quoting the whole damned speech here, but I have to because AWWWWWWWWW! Sometimes because *facepalm* but muchly because AWWWW. Also because FAAACE.
-"John, you have endured war, and injury, and tragic loss - so sorry again about that last one." BWAAAAAAHAHAHAHAAH! XD
-"You sit between the woman you have made your wife and the man you have saved." *flailing too hard to type* "In short the two people who love you most in all this world." *keymashings everywhere*
-JOHN WIBBLES!!! *FLAIL*
-"And I know I speak for Mary as well when I say we will never let you down, and we have a lifetime ahead to prove that." *FLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIL* IT'S LIKE A VOW OF FRIENDSHIP AND THINGS AND THEY'RE ALL TOGETHER AROUND JOHN AND JUST OMG *FLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIL* Also, any Holmes expressing some rare direct appreciation and friendship and deep emotional such-like for his Watson is so far up my road it's in the confectionary shop on the corner, rolling gleefully in sweets. *flail*
-I'm getting carpal tunnel from all the flailing here but damn. When Sherlock Holmes does get down to heart-felt sentiment, he does not fuck around. Also, the size of the specter of the future OW has become an order of magnitude more monolithic because they really are all in this together. Eeeep.
-I think Mrs Hudson may be changing her OTP to an OT3. You know. Just saying.
-Molly and Greg are looking... vaguely pissed off? Hm. Weird.
-"If I try and hug him, stop me."/"Certainly not." HAVE I SAID YET THAT I LOVE MARY? That was an accidental capslocking BUT I STAND BY IT, GODDAMNIT.
(Hee, John's 'I'm not gonna cry' face. *flail*)
-"Now onto some funny stories about John."/Attendees: *widespread sniffling with a few scattered chuckles of disbelief* Awww. Quit while you're ahead dude. Also *points* AWWW, JOHN. So much for the 'not gonna cry' face.
-"What's wrong, what happened, why are you all doing that? John!?" Awwww, flustered Sherlock is adorable. *pats him*
-"Oh Sherlock." Hee! Awww. And now I'm making donkey noises.
-"Did I do it wrong?" AWWWWWW!!!
-HUGGIIIIIINNNNNGGGGGGGG!!! SO MUCH YAY!!! \o/
-"I haven't finished yet."/"Yeah, I know." Maybe getting him to sit down now would be a really good idea though. End on a good note? Heh.
-"Now on to some funny stories about-"/"Can you wait 'til I sit down?" Well, if he's going to carry on from that point, sitting down would be wise. Closer to the wine, further out of easy throttling distance.
-Seriously, they're occluding each other in the shot now, and Tom hasn't been seen in a long while, not since the telegrams I don't think. Poor Tom.
-Have I pointed out how fantastic Mrs Hudson's hat is? I think I should. That is a fantastic hat. Comes with things going everywhere and its own personal-space-defending brim.
-"If you could all just cheer up a bit." Heee!
-SERIOUSLY. I mean Molly's engaged to Tom, but these two-shots are really making me wonder what might be happening here. And where's Tom? still at the table in distance shots, but there is a good 3 feet of distance between him and Molly, and that snogging session earlier was really bizarre and... I know Molly's conflicted, but between Lestrade's disappointment that she got engaged to this Tom person who no one had even seen and who dresses like Sherlock, and the framing/seating going on here... Sigh. Poor Tom.
-"For funny stories, one has to look no further than John's blog." Oh dear. Very glad I haven't been checking that now, and given that 3.03 has already aired and I'm still working through 3.02, I'll be reading it all sometime in February. *itches to see what fandom is doing, refrains*
-"We've tackled some strange cases. 'The Hollow Client'." Ahahaha. Yup. glad I haven't read them already. *bounces*
-"'The Poisoned Giant'" *facepalm*
-Frustrating cases. French decathlete gone insane, surrounded by matchboxes. Reference to the 2012 Olympics, yes? Or rather the French decathlete is, not the going mad surrounded by matchboxes.
-*snerk* What? Okay, maybe that case would have been less frustrating if Sherlock hadn't been dosed with hallucinogens. Or maybe it was one of the Glow Cloud's offspring from Night Vale, abducted while on an international student exchange... naaaah. Anyway, that's a prompt for any number of crossovers.
-Must've been a really boring day if John's been staring out the window long enough to have noticed a client dithering. Heh, or oscillating.
-"And of course I have to mention The Elephant in the Room." AHAHAAHAHAHAH.
-"The Bloody Guardsman." Ahhh, right, I have seen something relating to this. Photo with the Royal Guard. Nothing bigly spoilery, but good to know what it was from now.
-I'm liking this format, incidentally. It's like a clip show, but with all new stuff, so it's like a whole bunch of new stories instead of one. (I wonder if all the writers had individual sub-sections as well as a collaboration on the whole at that weekend crunch-time writing pajama party) Whee! \o/
-Post Empty House case! Mary in 221B! \o/ And... a scale model of the building the wedding reception was in? That's planning. You'd need that to determine and close off all the potential avenues of sniper fire. *nods like that's a sane part of every wedding plan*
-Mary's guest list is small. "Orphan's lot." Aw... lots of friends, but still. *cuddles Mary* And no family to pick up the tab for the wedding so they're paying for all this themselves (or maybe with some help from friends) so they really aren't doing too bad, money-wise.
-AHAHAHAAHAH. *points at the labels that say 'catering' and 'rehearsal'* SHERLOCK'S BUILT A WALL O'WEIRD FOR THEIR WEDDING PLANNING!!! Now that should definitely be a common feature of every wedding plan! \o/
-"Calm, I am calm, I'm extremely calm." And anything you say three times must be true. *pats Sherlock*
-See how well she fits in? Her shirt even sort of almost matches the green on the un-wallpaper-invaded sections of wall. And John's in his chair and everyone's all hanging out together and things and oh please please please can Mary stay for a long time?
-That is an interesting pattern for a shirt for Mary, and given Mycroft's umbrella tie, and Moriarty's showdown Skull tie, It has to be deliberate. Little 'thumbs up/thumbs down' symbols. Like or dislike. Heh. Might be a bit of a meta comment on how news that Mary would be in series 3 was probably received in parts of fandom? *is deliberately not thinking of the origins of 'thumbs up/thumbs down' from gladiatorial times, and is not preemptively going eep*
-"*list of things that show John's cousin doesn't like Mary* She's obviously unconsciously retaining saliva." And this is why you buy pre-gummed stamps. So your cousin's Best Man can't tell you dislike his fiance due to your lack of spit. *nods*
-"Awww, let's stick her by the bogs." Heeeee! Really really really like Mary. :-)
-"*koff* who else hates me?" Seriously. The like levels for Mary are going off the charts now. Given the horrible fates that befall every damn new or non-regular series character I like intensely on any series, and the fact that she's Mary Morstan and has been screwed since 1903, THIS DOES NOT BODE WELL. DDD-:
-And Sherlock really likes her too, because he has made up a list but he hasn't gone and told her about it, just kept it handy and was probably going to only mention people as asked, or just shuffle them around himself to minimize distress for John and Mary without saying anything. And John is reading out potential cases, but Sherlock is ignoring him in favour of planning the seating at the wedding reception with Mary and *flappy hands everywhere* JUST AHHH!
-"Major James Sholto. Who he?" *blinks, replays* No, that's definitely "Who he?" Odd. Anyway, looks like Major Sholto wasn't a total surprise, so his security checks have been done and he's been cleared. *nods*
-"Three identical triplets, one in half a million births, solved it without leaving the flat. Now! Serviettes! Swan or Sydney Opera House?" Bwahahahahaha! Oh dear. That's... disconcerting.
-"I'm not John, I can tell when you're fibbing." *flails!* Oh Mary has to stay for like, decades. Just *gestures at the group* TEAM!
-"Okay, I learned it on YouTube." HEEEE! No saying he couldn't have used it for a case after, but I suspect he only just learned it specifically for their wedding and SERIOUSLY I WILL BREAK SOMETHING IF I KEEP FLAILING LIKE THIS.
-"Oh! Hi Beth!" Or maybe Bess. Either way, John is very much not a fan of her for some reason.
-"He knows we don't have a friend called Beth. He's gonna figure out that it's code." Pfffft! Hah! He probably already has but hasn't busted you for it yet which gives me even more warm fuzzies about the group of you and so much trepidation for the future.
-"He's YouTubing serviettes."/"He's thorough."/"He's terrified." *FLAIL* MARY! COME LET ME SMISH YOU!!! \o/
-"Why would he be scared we're getting married?" John Watson, sometimes you are quite thick. And yet you get away with it because you are adorable and caring and surrounded by awesome smart perceptive people who love you very much. *smishes everyone*
-"Show him it's still the good old days." Mary's face does a thing. I don't know what it is, but it's making me giggle until I hiccup.
-HA!! XD
-Oh god, he's already started folding all the serviettes for the wedding reception that's in a little over two weeks, oh Sherlock.
-"That just, sort of... happened." In about 20 seconds. And now John's worried. As he should be.
-"Sherlock... mate." And then the face. Yeah, don't go exploring new forms of address now, you'll just disturb yourself.
-"I'm faking opinions and it's exhausting." Awww. Probably partly true, but still. Aww. Making up a reason to pry Sherlock away from the wedding planning and get him out on a case. ...There's a sentence I never thought I'd write in a recap post. O.o
-"Sherlock, for me."/"Don't you worry about a thing, I'll get you out of this." Oh, I hope that's not the beginning of a horrible misunderstanding, because it's made of awwwww.
-Stalking a Royal Guardsman on duty. You'd think that wouldn't be a huge challenge. Why though? Could just be because Pvt. Bainbridge is as cute as a basket of puppies, but probably more sinister than that.
-Gaaaah. Standing behind tourists, staring... and between the shadowed hood and the scruff, looking a bit like that guy from the Assassin's Creed Video game. Gaaaaaah.
-And taking pictures of him when he's in barracks. That's super creepy. Of course, standing there with the curtains open and bare-chested really isn't the best of ideas when you think someone's stalking you.
-"Bainbridge thinks his stalker is a bloke." Not that that eliminates uniform fetishism or other lascivious motivation, but if it was just about the uniform, the stalker would be watching all the guards and not just one. Even if he is the most adorable one, and really, they'd have to try pretty darn hard to find another guardsman as adorable as Bainbridge. *ruffles his fuzzy hair*
-"Why this particular Grenadier, curious." Well, with his age he's got to be pretty new, so maybe someone who knows him from before he was accepted to the Royal Guard? *ponders*
-"We're just going to- I need um- Sherlock to help me choose some uh-"/"Ties."/"Socks." *facepalm* It's a good thing Mary and John are in cahoots here, because you boys suck at lying. Though John is faking lying so that's even worse. Especially since Mary knows when Sherlock is lying, and yet he's going to pretend like she wouldn't know so, yeah. Really, everyone is in cahoots.
-"Why don't we go with socks." Yep, everyone's in cahoots here to get Sherlock and John out on a case. Awwww. (Mary's face! Her nose is pretty amazing too. The Watson kids will be fluent in all forms of nasal emoting by the age of three months. *nods*)
-"Exactly, to go with my-"/"Tie."/"-outfit." Hee! For someone who never wears one, Sherlock seems a bit focussed on John getting the right tie.
-"Just gonna take him out for a bit, run him." HEEE!! They really are all in cahoots, it's just two of them think the other isn't and Mary is the, I dunno. Grand Cahootmaster. And really, she'd probably like them both out of her hair for a bit too. XD
-AHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAH!!! Oh my god bwah! And Mary with the horns! AHAHAHAAH!
And apparently, slightly double-jointed thumbs too. Nifty!
-So maybe less of a Stag Party and more of a Stag Case? Why not indeed, especially considering Sherlock would likely not go within a mile of a Stag party, even if it was for John. But we'll see. Lots of episode left to go.
Continued in...
PART THREE
PART FOUR
PART FIVE
(PLEASE, NO SPOILERS OR REFERENCES TO ANY INFORMATION AT ALL FOR OR ABOUT EPISODES PAST 3.02 IN COMMENTS! )
Picspam Reaction for Sherlock Series 3 Episode 2 - Part 2
PART ONE
PART TWO - "The Sign of Three"
Onward!
-*alarming semi-mechanical thumping noises* OH SHIT, CYBERMEN! RUN!!! Oh wait, no, no, it's just Mycroft on a surprisingly noisy treadmill. You'd think he'd have the quietest one available. Perhaps Sherlock's modified it so Mycroft sounds like he weighs 30 stone while running on it. *nods*
-"Why are you out of breath?"/"Filing." Pfffft. I think maybe Mycroft encourages Sherlock to taunt him about his weight because that way he gets more interaction with his brother. Though, not saying he was on the treadmill could also be defensiveness about Sherlock taunting him about his weight. Either way, this is the first time we've seen Mycroft not in a suit, isn't it?
-"Either I've caught you in a compromising position or you've been working out again. I favour the latter." Which would be yes to the defensiveness. Aw. Don't worry, your brother's a bit of a jerk to everyone. *pats Mycroft*
-"Today, it's today, isn't it?" Heh. I get the impression Sherlock might have been driving Mycroft nuts with data requests for the hardest to access info on every single wedding attendee and their plus ones. Which, again, given there is still a person or persons unknown to them who seems to think that abducting John Watson and stuffing him into a bonfire is a fine and dandy thing to do on a rainy weekday, along with every other potential threat or disrupting factor out there (whether dangerous or just awkward like David), it's an arguably reasonable precaution. This is why you R.S.V.P. for these things; so the Best Man can run stalkery security checks on you and make sure your petty theft of office supplies from work doesn't make you a possibly subornable dupe for one of his (and by association the groom's) many potential enemies.
-"I won't be coming to the 'Night Do' as you so poetically put it." Oh, it's a social thing like a second late reception. Maybe? That explains the line about the commandeering of jets. I was thinking Sherlock was talking something along the lines of an emergency air strike in case someone who turned up in need of an emergency security check turned out to require missiles to thwart. Hahaha yeah I blame the medication. And the raging paranoia. *facepalm*
-"Mary and John will be extremely-"/"-delighted not to have me hanging around." Aw. He has a point there, though there must have been some conversations had between Mycroft and John in the past few months to clear up that "Oh by the way, I not only knew all along, I helped him do it, and the information I leaked to Moriarty about Sherlock's life and who his friends are was all deliberate and probably put you all in more danger than you would have been otherwise," matter for him to get an invite at all.
-It paused like this. What can I say. He looks... I don't know.
-Seeing a lot more of Sherlock, just like old times... Is Mycroft agitating for Sherlock to get worried about John now? I don't know whether that's aw-worthy or creepy. On one hand, he wants Sherlock not to lose his best friend and isn't above goading to push him into making an effort to keep John as his best friend, on the other hand, 'worries constantly' and is lonely and bored enough to hang out playing Operation with his little brother.
-"It's the end of an era, isn't it?" OKAY, I AM TAKING THAT AS CANON CONFIRMATION THAT MYCROFT HAS 221B BUGGED. And that Mycroft is goading Sherlock. HA.
-"I prefer to think of it as the beginning of a new chapter." Aw. Mycroft's face. His baby brother's expressing a mature opinion about a changing relationship. And he doesn''t believe a single word of it, or is assuming Sherlock's fooling himself.
-"I know that silence." Or is still being a prat and goading.
-"You have a big speech or something, don't you?" Yep, goading, and getting Sherlock rattled before the speech. Prat.
-"I'm not involved."/"I believe you. Really." Seriously Sherlock, he's probably been winding you up the same way since you were kids. Just do the mature thing, blow a loud wet raspberry into the phone and hang up. Go back to the party and give an awesome speech that I'm sure will be painfully awkward, yet adorable. Oh, but do remember to ask about that suddenly appearing probably-unchecked guest first. Though he's probably reassured by John's recognition of him, and he doesn't have the oversight of knowing we watched the guy getting grimly dressed and looking like nine kinds of impending murder which ups his importance to the imminent dire twist of events, so a bit of security laxness in that direction is understandable at this late stage. Although that's going to turn out to be a huge mistake. Eeek.
-"Have a lovely day and do give the happy couple my best."/"...I will." Definitely winding him up. Poke him in the sentiment and then give him nothing to object to or fight against so his re-activated worry about possibly losing his best friend has nothing to do but spin around inside him, throwing him off-balance like a load of manky old towels. Tsk tsk, Mycroft. *headshake*
-"Do you remember Redbeard?" EEEE! It's a pet or a teddy bear or something from Sherlock's childhood when he was into pirates and maybe it's something that he lost because he didn't try harder to keep it and Mycroft is a serious frigging troll if that's the case. Calculating bastard, deliberately making Sherlock freak out about losing John, which. Hm. Could be foreshadowing too, if my speculations are correct, but the rest of you all on the far side of 3.03 will know how right or wrong I am about that, won't you? BUT PLEASE DON'T TELL ME. It'll be at least another week before I get through 3.03. (Which, since due to illness and work I've been having to watch this episode in few-minute-a-day increments is airing right this very second as I type. *bites nails*)
-Awwww, Sherlock's face. Yeah, it's something that was lost and thinking about it will stuff Sherlock full of manky old emotional towels right before the Best Man speech. Aw. *hugs Sherlock* Mycroft is a troll. Is anyone surprised? No? Gee, imagine that.
-"I'm not a child anymore, Mycroft." Don't be silly, Sherlock. Everyone is, somewhere deep down inside.
-"Enjoy not getting involved, Sherlock." Arch-enemy. I'm seeing it now. That's the thing with family, they know exactly how to most effectively push your buttons, because they are often the ones who installed those buttons in the first place.
-John and Mary certainly put on a decent spread, so they (or Mary's family, who I think traditionally picks up the tab for the wedding) aren't hurting for money. Last wedding I was at, the reception was a pot luck.
-"Pray, silence for the Best Man." Oh dear. Here we go. If John gets compared to Sherlock's old beloved and lost teddy bear/pet named Redbeard if/when Sherlock tosses his planned speech in favour of speaking from the heart, I may sprain something vital. *suspiciously eyes table of possible wedding gifts in the back and hopes someone has checked them for bombs and toxic materials* What? Sherlock and Molly could take the all down to Bart's the night before and x-ray them all. I'm just saying. It's not paranoia when there are mysterious people still at large who like stuffing John into bonfires and trying to blow up large buildings full of people.
-*refills tea* What, delaying? Me? Nah.
-"Ladies and Gentlemen, family and friends, and... uhmmmm... others." Oh dear. Already getting some interesting looks from those who know him well. I see David is sat at the same table as Sherlock's own core trusted group so they can unknowingly keep an eye on him while Sherlock is busy at the head table. He probably hasn't told anyone "this is Mary's obsessed ex, make sure he behaves," but if David does anything even a bit off, the crew is there to catch him before it gets out of hand. Also, the guy has his back to the head table, so he can't see Mary unless he turns around, so it'll be obvious if he's looking, and Sherlock is right there beside them watching too. The guy is frigging surrounded. That's how you control a potential threat. *nods approvingly*
(Oh they did have a red wine to go with the beef, I had a vague wonder about that but didn't say anything because I know damn near nothing about fancy dinners and what wine goes with what.)
-And still looking a bit concerned. That's a long awkward pause. *notes location of Major Sholto, table behind the table the usual crew is at* And I would just like to note that aside from tableware and kitchen utensils, Major Sholto is likely the only person here actually carrying a deadly weapon. The sword is ceremonial and all, but it's still an actual sword, and I doubt John would have even thought to suggest it be peace-bonded, as that would be a rather horrible insult. So. *considers that meat skewer seen being conspicuously used by the philandering kitchen staffer the Chief Bridesmaid got Sherlock to deduce* Possible sword vs skewer fight in the offing?
-*random noises and face wiggles* Uh oh. Here comes the Mycroft-spurred spontaneous rewrite where Sherlock obliquely compares John to his teddy bear/schnauzer.
-John is already wincing. Or twitching. Hard to say. Mary looks like she's having a mildly amused and slightly horrified flashback to the last dinner she was at with John where Sherlock showed up and gave a little sort of a speech, and is pretty sure this one won't end with a brawl all across town, but is determined to find whatever comes out of Sherlock's mouth here pleasant and charmingly heartfelt no matter how insane it could be. Her hands are pretty tightly locked together and her left eyebrow is expressing some early doubts though.
-"A- a- also..." And more awkward pause. Speeches. If my Hell isn't an endless receiving line, it'll be public speaking. *cringes deeply into chair*
-Aw, Greg looks like he wants to jump up and rescue Sherlock, but then deliberately puts his napkin in his lap so he won't. AWWWWWWW. *flails*
-Flashback! Hee! We'll get the whole run-up to the wedding filled in yet! \o/
-"I just had a thought."/"Is that brain?" Hahaha. Molly's hair is quite practical for the workplace, all the ends tucked up, and looks pretty too.
-"He'll have to make a speech in front of people. There'll be actual people there, actually listening."/Greg: *looks like he's seeing a coming apocalypse* Me: *sneeeeerk* It's a genuine cause for concern, granted, but there's just something about John and Sherlock's friends being concerned about them in social situations that's just made of masses of fluffy Awwww. *smishes Molly and Greg*
-"Helen Louise probably wondered the same."/"Helen Louise?" Ahahahaha. Although, unless she was the tragic victim of a Best Man toast gone horribly awry, I don't think there's really a direct correlation.
-Aw, Molly's hitting the entire 'impending Sherlock and John disaster' phone tree.
-"What, the speech, dear? I know! It'll be fine." Oh dear. The doom levels have suddenly increased.
-"It's not just the speech though, is it?" What else does the Best Man... AH! Of course, how could I have already forgotten. STAG NIGHT! Right??? *bounces*
-Sherlock coming home to mad cackling from Mrs Hudson in 221A. That can't be a common occurrence. OH WAIT no, it's John! HA. Oh crap. (And he still has the keys. Awwwwww.) XD
-"I was coming to see Sherlock and I thought you were.... possibly dying." *snerk*
-"The telegrams!" And this is John's 'I have no idea what the hell you're talking about, but you obviously find it hilarious, so I am fully prepared to laugh as soon as I understand' face. Mine did more of a 'Whahuh?' but I have a far less complex range of facial expression than John Watson does.
-"Telegrams." I think John just got the joke and realized it's not quite so funny from his side of the head table.
-And if John hadn't said anything, they might have escaped 'telegrams' whatever that is (maybe some kind of 'messages from people who couldn't come' reading? In which case emails, in which case, Sherlock deducing them as he reads them (oh god). But hey, now I'm looking forward to Sherlock reading out Harry's probable string of emoticons), but I must say, Mary's face is just- *waves hands in the air grinning* I mean just look at that face! Hee!
-"Wedding tradition. Because we don't have enough of that already, apparently." And John appears to be having a qualm or two straight into the camera, and Mary's doubting eyebrow is resting smugly at its predictive powers as the rest of Mary's face catches up. Hee!
-"Good luck and best wishes, Mike Stamford." Awwww, okay, I'm appeased at the lack of visible Mike now.
-"With love and many big- ...big squishy cuddles from Stella and Ted." Ha! Aw, nothing wrong with big squishy cuddles now and then, Sherlock.
-Ah, see? I thought Molly looked a bit evil earlier. XD
-"...poppet." *snerk*
-"Wish your family could've seen this." Oh, ow. Bit of an ambush there. So Mary's folks are no longer alive then. Aw. *hugs Mary* And John's little inquiring nose-noise and hand-hold, making sure Mary's okay and *flailing now* because awwww they are so cute and schmoopy and such partners and *flaps hands at ACD canon* Mary and just aaaaaaah! You know? Maybe not, but *flaaail*
-"Love... love... love... Bit of a theme, you get the general gist, people are basically fond." Oh dear. No reading out all Harry's emoticons then? Hm. I'm going to think that at least one of those unread messages was a thinly veiled threat from some minor criminal wanting to be an ass on John and Mary's wedding day, since Sherlock has obviously not gone through them and read them beforehand. If Moriarty wasn't dead he would have sent one. His emoticons would have been epic.
-"John Watson. *points*" Yes, I'm pretty certain everyone here knows who he is, Sherlock. Hehe. Although the Chief Bridesmaid who Sherlock has been wing-manning for all evening appears to be contemplating his butt rather than paying attention to what he's saying.
-"My friend, John Watson." So serious. Oh god. I'm going to preemptively facepalm and try to sit on my hands for a bit or I will never make it through this speech. (Incidentally *points to left hand side of following image* those two again. I'd say almost certainly John's parents, they're far too conspicuous and far too close to the head table to be otherwise.)
-"When John first broached the subject of being Best Man, I was confused." Except there's flashbacks all through so I can't. Arg.
-Toasting an eyeball with an open flame, as one does in one's bathrobe in 221B.
-"Sounded like she was torturing an owl." Hee! Valid.
-"Well it was, laughter."/"Could have been both." If it was you, Sherlock, maybe. Not so much Mrs Hudson though.
-Sherlock: *drops eyeball in tea* Me: *tortures a few owls of my own*
That table is atypically tidy. Hm.
-"Tea?" HEE!
-"Billy Kincade, the Camden garroter, best man I ever knew. Vast contributions to charity never disclosed. Personally managed to save three Hospitals from closure, and ran the best and safest children's homes in North England." And John's knowledge of 'why it's best not to be at all vague in Sherlock's direction is rapidly refreshed.
-"Ye-es, every now and again there would be some garrotings, but stacking up the lives saved against the garrotings-" This is Sherlock's moral outlook. Like a carbon-offset, but for murder. Hrm. I'm thinking perhaps the people who were garroted may not have been exactly nice people, or Billy was a sort of hitman who guiltily plowed his earnings into charity works, or both. *quickly googles to be sure this isn't an actual historical case of a serial killer* Nope. Head-canon engaged.
-"I need a Best Man."/"Oh right."/"Maybe not a garroter." Not often a prerequisite for members of the wedding party, but if it's the fellow who's going to be checking that your tie is on straight, that might be a wise criteria to add.
-"Gavin?"/"Who?"/"Gavin Lestrade." He's switched from thinking it was Graham at least. He may yet switch to thinking it was George or the former fandom-favoured 'Geoff'
-"He's a man and, good at it? *semi-shrug*" PFFFFT!! Oh god, I hope he isn't providing all these details in the speech, Lestrade might get a very unusual facial expression cramp from that statement.
-"It's Greg, and he's not my best friend."/"Oh, Mike Stamford, I see. He's nice." *facepalm* The thing is, I can't tell whether he's being genuinely obtuse, or trolling John again.
-"This is the biggest and most important day of my life-"/"Weeell-"/"No. It is." Hee!
-"I want to be up there with the two people I love and care about most in the world." *FLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIL* BEST FRIENDS STATEMENT OF EXTREME SCHMOOOOOOOP! *flailflailflail* Aw. And it's still not going to sink in until John beats him over the head with a direct question.
-(I also think there has to have been a rather detailed and intensive conversation between Sherlock and John between getting off the bomb train and having the party last episode, because at the bottom of the stairs before the party and press conference, John's not asking "why" anymore, he's asking "how". As shadowfireflame pointed out in the 3.01 recap comments, everyone wants to know 'how Sherlock did it' except John, who wants to know 'why', and 'how could he'. He must know why at that point then if he's semi-idly querying about the how. So. Something happened there. Missing scene! \o/)
-Sherlock: *blank* Aww. Still can't tell if he's really that oblivious. It is possible though.
-"Mary Morstan." Yay! Confirmation they used the same full name. They didn't mention it that I noticed last episode, and I was watching for it.
-"Yes?"/"John: *aggrieved nasal exhalation*" See! Wonderfully expressive nose. Best nasal acting in the business.
-"And... you."/"*uncappable stunned eyelash fluttering*" Awww. *pats Sherlock* Awwwwwwwwwwwwwww.
-"I expressed that I was both flattered and surprised." After a very long time standing frozen as his mental processors bog to the point of shut down. Five foot taps. I think John may have temporarily broken him. XD
-"I explained to him that I'd never expected this request and I was a little daunted in the face of it."/Flashback John: "Sherlock?"/Flashback Sherlock: "*404 Brain not found*" Sherlock Holmes has well and truly failed his boggle check. Awww. He must have still had leftover thoughts after coming back that regardless of what John might have said after they talked, on some level he thought John would never forgive him unless he thought he was about to die. And now John's sitting in the kitchen in 221B telling Sherlock that he's one of the two people he loves and cares about most in the world and he's his best friend, and he wants Sherlock to be his Best Man. Among other things, Sherlock's probably running a mental check-routine to confirm he's not dreaming or hallucinating, and on another level digging through the mind palace to find out what the hell being a Best Man entails, if he's gotten to that level of practical processing yet. In short, Sherlock's brain has gone all 'splody all over everywhere. *flaaail*
-Sherlock: *loads of bafflegab about things he said*/John's face: 'Erm... not really?'
-"I thanked him for the trust he placed in me" (Oh yes, that's another big thing Sherlock would have been thinking he might have lost forever *flail*) "and indicated that I was, in some ways, very close to being moved by it."/Flashback Sherlock: *face of intense near-wibble* AWWWWWWWWW. LOOK AT THAT FACE! *giggles at the tap dripping in the background*
-"That's getting a bit scary now." Heee! It's less movementy than the usual Mind Palace Macarena, certainly. Looking more and more to John like an absence seizure probably, considering the blinking just before. Meanwhile Sherlock's brain is hung somewhere between disbelief, relief, joy, and songs from Disney musicals.
-"It later transpired that I had said none of this out loud." *snerk* Awwwwwww.
-Faaaace. Awwww. *flail*
-"Sooo, in fact... you- you mean..."/"Yes?"/"I'm your.... best..."/"Man."/"-friend?" *literally flails hard enough to dislodge headphones* I HAVE NO WORDS ONLY FLAILINGS AND KEYMASHINGS!!!
-AND THEN JOHN'S FACE COMES IN AND KILLS ME ALL OVER AGAIN SOME MORE BECAUSE HE'S SO GOBSMACKED THAT SHERLOCK WAS SO GOBSMACKED BECAUSE HE DIDN'T THINK THAT JOHN WOULD THINK OF HIM AS HIS BEST FRIEND AND JUST- ADFLKJFDALKFDASJKL! *FLAAAILLLIIIIINNNGGGGGG!!!!*
-"Yeah of course you are. Of course. You're my best friend." *WORDLESS HANDFLAPPING EVERYWHERE* I mean, obviously, but just. *burbles nonsensically about friendship and isolation and how easy it is to think that you're only being tolerated rather than anyone thinking of you as a friend at all* oh never mind, just *flail* \o/
-Of course, they're the sort of best friends who occasionally troll each other by making their best friend believe they're going to be blown up, or by sitting quietly and saying nothing while their best friend drinks from a cup of tea with a lightly toasted eyeball in it. But hey, every friendship has its little quirks.
-"How was that?"/"Surprisingly okay." HEEE! Looks like it might have been kind of funky. Probably worse than the tea I've got that smells like fishy wet dogs.
-"When you gaze long into a tea, the tea also gazes into you" Sorry, sorry. I blame the medication.
-Speech time, oh crap. (The Chief Bridesmaid is really not being at all subtle, is she?)
-That's not a speech, that's a novel. If the cues and detail notes don't fit on both sides of a 4X6 index card, it's too damn long or you're using the wrong font. Not that is matters, they're all going to go flying in a minute.
-Molly's looking worried. Greg's looking ready to hide under the table. Wise man, Greg.
-"I'm afraid, John, I can't congratulate you." Oh dear. Don't go trying to be clever there Sherlock, not everyone in the room is used to your sense of humour.
-"All emotions and in particularly love stand opposed to the pure cold reason I hold above all things." Oh, right. *facepalm* Not the best time to pull that particular near-canon quote out of the bag there, Sherlock, but *fistpump of canon-referencing* anyway.
-See? John and Mary are at least slightly used to him, if still lightly horrified, but that bridesmaid is looking like she's going to murder him if he doesn't shut up. In fairness, he'd probably find that more entertaining than giving the speech.
-"False and specious and irrational and sentimental in this ailing and morally corrupt age." Yes, also canon-referencing *fistpump*, but I'm hoping he'll reverse it all in some way that at least John and Mary will understand, even if everyone else in the room continues to think of him as an ass.
-"Today we honour the death-watch beetle that is the doom of our society-" What? Oh god. Hasn't Lestrade hidden under the table yet? I might join him. Hehe. Although, um... You know, every time we get a two-shot of Molly and Lestrade, they're seated a leeeeetle bit closer together. Greg's practically got his arm around Molly there, and poor Tom's way down along the side. Oh dear. Poor poor Tom. *pats*
-"-and I feel certain, our entire species." *pats Sherlock as the crowd mutters* Get to the part where you reverse it so John and Mary know you're actually being nice in your own way, or failing that, get to the part where you sit down before you have an angry mob on your hands.
-"But anyway, let's talk about John." Yes. Let's. Although keep in mind in your anecdotes that there are police officers in the crowd so no saying anything about how within 24 hours of meeting him he shot a cabbie to save you from stupiding yourself to death by taking a poison pill, m'kay?
-"If I burden myself with a little help-mate on my adventures-" *headdesk* Oh god. At least Mary's back to being determinatedly amused.
-"He has many fine qualities he has overlooked in his obsession with me." I repeat, oh god. *hides under something even if Lestrade isn't under there too* Lestrade's taking a drink right now. Odds of a 'public revelation of some kind of criminal activity done by John that Lestrade will have to not conveniently ignore since everyone at the wedding has been told' related spit-take increasing.
-"Any reputation I have for mental acuity and sharpness comes in truth from the extraordinary contrast John so selflessly provides." And so he calls him a dull-witted idiot. Yup. Still hiding. Someone should have beta'd Sherlock's speech, but really, I think it would be going this way no matter who's opinions he got on it.
-And just to round out the head table, he's gone and called all the bridesmaids exceptionally plain. To the positive, I don't think she's going to be staring at his butt much anymore.
-That blonde one I thought might be Harry but isn't is definitely thinking of murder now.
-"Contrast is after all God's own plan to enhance the beauty of His creation-" Well, he made the priest smile. And John pray. ("Please God, let him shut up"? XD)
-"-or would be if God were not a ludicrous fantasy designed to provide a career opportunity of the family idiot." Yep, he made the priest smile. Very briefly. PFFFT! *headdesk*
-Considering it's 25 minutes in, and much as I could actually watch them all doing a normal (sort of) wedding and social things for the whole 90 minutes I suspect something murdery is going to happen soon, and if it's death threats against Sherlock Holmes, I think the entire room is well on its way to developing motive.
-And this might be Sherlock's "Oh right, I was planning to say nice things instead of giving my real opinions. Oops!" face. Or it might be time for the reversal. Because Sherlock standing up there and saying bland nice things and funny anecdotes and not being an ass at all would never have felt like him.
-"The point I am trying to make is that I am the most unpleasant, rude, ignorant, and all-round obnoxious arse-hole that anyone could possibly have the misfortune to meet." Yep, reversal time. Awww.
-"I am dismissive of the virtuous-"
"-unaware of the beautiful-" (careful, she'll start ogling your butt again)
"-and uncomprehending in the face of the happy." Aww. John I think is on the way to okay. Mary looks like she could use a cup of tea though. With a shot of brandy. She's only been around Sherlock a few months after all, he takes a while to really get used to.
-"So if I didn't understand I was being asked to be Best Man, it is because I never expected to be anybody's best friend." Aw. *nods* Yep. Feeling unlovable, unworthy of having friends. It's a horrible feeling but you get used to it. It becomes part of who you are when you live with it for most of your life. Even on finding a friend it's still there, making you doubt and disbelieve, thinking that any second they're going to realize the awful mistake they made getting to know you and hate you instead, or just stop caring. That feeling and mindset being spectacularly and inarguable reversed would understandably blow all your breakers, if you're lucky enough for that to happen. Anyway. He's not doing bad on the reversal of his speech at all, because now I want to wrap him in blankets and feed him soup.
-OH MOLLEEEEEEEE with the wibble-face, awww.
-"Certainly not the best friend of the bravest and kindest and wisest human being I have ever had the good fortune of knowing." See? Reversal. Yay. And an Aw from someone in the crowd.
-"John, I am a ridiculous man-" And John's head-tilt and forehead say 'no argument at all, there.'
-"-redeemed only by the warmth and constancy of your friendship." *FLAAAAAAAAAILIIIIIING NOW* Awwwww!
-"But as I am apparently your best friend I cannot congratulate you on your choice of companion." Oh, meaning himself, being a horrible person no one sane would want to be friends with etc, so Pfffft. GAH. *facepalm* *headshake* Missed that earlier, as was the intent.
-"Actually, now I can." Because Mary is awesome. Awww.
(Look at Mary's face. Just glowing. My god.)
-"When I say you deserve this man, it is the highest compliment of which I am capable." AWWWWWWW! I know I'm practically quoting the whole damned speech here, but I have to because AWWWWWWWWW! Sometimes because *facepalm* but muchly because AWWWW. Also because FAAACE.
-"John, you have endured war, and injury, and tragic loss - so sorry again about that last one." BWAAAAAAHAHAHAHAAH! XD
-"You sit between the woman you have made your wife and the man you have saved." *flailing too hard to type* "In short the two people who love you most in all this world." *keymashings everywhere*
-JOHN WIBBLES!!! *FLAIL*
-"And I know I speak for Mary as well when I say we will never let you down, and we have a lifetime ahead to prove that." *FLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIL* IT'S LIKE A VOW OF FRIENDSHIP AND THINGS AND THEY'RE ALL TOGETHER AROUND JOHN AND JUST OMG *FLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIL* Also, any Holmes expressing some rare direct appreciation and friendship and deep emotional such-like for his Watson is so far up my road it's in the confectionary shop on the corner, rolling gleefully in sweets. *flail*
-I'm getting carpal tunnel from all the flailing here but damn. When Sherlock Holmes does get down to heart-felt sentiment, he does not fuck around. Also, the size of the specter of the future OW has become an order of magnitude more monolithic because they really are all in this together. Eeeep.
-I think Mrs Hudson may be changing her OTP to an OT3. You know. Just saying.
-Molly and Greg are looking... vaguely pissed off? Hm. Weird.
-"If I try and hug him, stop me."/"Certainly not." HAVE I SAID YET THAT I LOVE MARY? That was an accidental capslocking BUT I STAND BY IT, GODDAMNIT.
(Hee, John's 'I'm not gonna cry' face. *flail*)
-"Now onto some funny stories about John."/Attendees: *widespread sniffling with a few scattered chuckles of disbelief* Awww. Quit while you're ahead dude. Also *points* AWWW, JOHN. So much for the 'not gonna cry' face.
-"What's wrong, what happened, why are you all doing that? John!?" Awwww, flustered Sherlock is adorable. *pats him*
-"Oh Sherlock." Hee! Awww. And now I'm making donkey noises.
-"Did I do it wrong?" AWWWWWW!!!
-HUGGIIIIIINNNNNGGGGGGGG!!! SO MUCH YAY!!! \o/
-"I haven't finished yet."/"Yeah, I know." Maybe getting him to sit down now would be a really good idea though. End on a good note? Heh.
-"Now on to some funny stories about-"/"Can you wait 'til I sit down?" Well, if he's going to carry on from that point, sitting down would be wise. Closer to the wine, further out of easy throttling distance.
-Seriously, they're occluding each other in the shot now, and Tom hasn't been seen in a long while, not since the telegrams I don't think. Poor Tom.
-Have I pointed out how fantastic Mrs Hudson's hat is? I think I should. That is a fantastic hat. Comes with things going everywhere and its own personal-space-defending brim.
-"If you could all just cheer up a bit." Heee!
-SERIOUSLY. I mean Molly's engaged to Tom, but these two-shots are really making me wonder what might be happening here. And where's Tom? still at the table in distance shots, but there is a good 3 feet of distance between him and Molly, and that snogging session earlier was really bizarre and... I know Molly's conflicted, but between Lestrade's disappointment that she got engaged to this Tom person who no one had even seen and who dresses like Sherlock, and the framing/seating going on here... Sigh. Poor Tom.
-"For funny stories, one has to look no further than John's blog." Oh dear. Very glad I haven't been checking that now, and given that 3.03 has already aired and I'm still working through 3.02, I'll be reading it all sometime in February. *itches to see what fandom is doing, refrains*
-"We've tackled some strange cases. 'The Hollow Client'." Ahahaha. Yup. glad I haven't read them already. *bounces*
-"'The Poisoned Giant'" *facepalm*
-Frustrating cases. French decathlete gone insane, surrounded by matchboxes. Reference to the 2012 Olympics, yes? Or rather the French decathlete is, not the going mad surrounded by matchboxes.
-*snerk* What? Okay, maybe that case would have been less frustrating if Sherlock hadn't been dosed with hallucinogens. Or maybe it was one of the Glow Cloud's offspring from Night Vale, abducted while on an international student exchange... naaaah. Anyway, that's a prompt for any number of crossovers.
-Must've been a really boring day if John's been staring out the window long enough to have noticed a client dithering. Heh, or oscillating.
-"And of course I have to mention The Elephant in the Room." AHAHAAHAHAHAH.
-"The Bloody Guardsman." Ahhh, right, I have seen something relating to this. Photo with the Royal Guard. Nothing bigly spoilery, but good to know what it was from now.
-I'm liking this format, incidentally. It's like a clip show, but with all new stuff, so it's like a whole bunch of new stories instead of one. (I wonder if all the writers had individual sub-sections as well as a collaboration on the whole at that weekend crunch-time writing pajama party) Whee! \o/
-Post Empty House case! Mary in 221B! \o/ And... a scale model of the building the wedding reception was in? That's planning. You'd need that to determine and close off all the potential avenues of sniper fire. *nods like that's a sane part of every wedding plan*
-Mary's guest list is small. "Orphan's lot." Aw... lots of friends, but still. *cuddles Mary* And no family to pick up the tab for the wedding so they're paying for all this themselves (or maybe with some help from friends) so they really aren't doing too bad, money-wise.
-AHAHAHAAHAH. *points at the labels that say 'catering' and 'rehearsal'* SHERLOCK'S BUILT A WALL O'WEIRD FOR THEIR WEDDING PLANNING!!! Now that should definitely be a common feature of every wedding plan! \o/
-"Calm, I am calm, I'm extremely calm." And anything you say three times must be true. *pats Sherlock*
-See how well she fits in? Her shirt even sort of almost matches the green on the un-wallpaper-invaded sections of wall. And John's in his chair and everyone's all hanging out together and things and oh please please please can Mary stay for a long time?
-That is an interesting pattern for a shirt for Mary, and given Mycroft's umbrella tie, and Moriarty's showdown Skull tie, It has to be deliberate. Little 'thumbs up/thumbs down' symbols. Like or dislike. Heh. Might be a bit of a meta comment on how news that Mary would be in series 3 was probably received in parts of fandom? *is deliberately not thinking of the origins of 'thumbs up/thumbs down' from gladiatorial times, and is not preemptively going eep*
-"*list of things that show John's cousin doesn't like Mary* She's obviously unconsciously retaining saliva." And this is why you buy pre-gummed stamps. So your cousin's Best Man can't tell you dislike his fiance due to your lack of spit. *nods*
-"Awww, let's stick her by the bogs." Heeeee! Really really really like Mary. :-)
-"*koff* who else hates me?" Seriously. The like levels for Mary are going off the charts now. Given the horrible fates that befall every damn new or non-regular series character I like intensely on any series, and the fact that she's Mary Morstan and has been screwed since 1903, THIS DOES NOT BODE WELL. DDD-:
-And Sherlock really likes her too, because he has made up a list but he hasn't gone and told her about it, just kept it handy and was probably going to only mention people as asked, or just shuffle them around himself to minimize distress for John and Mary without saying anything. And John is reading out potential cases, but Sherlock is ignoring him in favour of planning the seating at the wedding reception with Mary and *flappy hands everywhere* JUST AHHH!
-"Major James Sholto. Who he?" *blinks, replays* No, that's definitely "Who he?" Odd. Anyway, looks like Major Sholto wasn't a total surprise, so his security checks have been done and he's been cleared. *nods*
-"Three identical triplets, one in half a million births, solved it without leaving the flat. Now! Serviettes! Swan or Sydney Opera House?" Bwahahahahaha! Oh dear. That's... disconcerting.
-"I'm not John, I can tell when you're fibbing." *flails!* Oh Mary has to stay for like, decades. Just *gestures at the group* TEAM!
-"Okay, I learned it on YouTube." HEEEE! No saying he couldn't have used it for a case after, but I suspect he only just learned it specifically for their wedding and SERIOUSLY I WILL BREAK SOMETHING IF I KEEP FLAILING LIKE THIS.
-"Oh! Hi Beth!" Or maybe Bess. Either way, John is very much not a fan of her for some reason.
-"He knows we don't have a friend called Beth. He's gonna figure out that it's code." Pfffft! Hah! He probably already has but hasn't busted you for it yet which gives me even more warm fuzzies about the group of you and so much trepidation for the future.
-"He's YouTubing serviettes."/"He's thorough."/"He's terrified." *FLAIL* MARY! COME LET ME SMISH YOU!!! \o/
-"Why would he be scared we're getting married?" John Watson, sometimes you are quite thick. And yet you get away with it because you are adorable and caring and surrounded by awesome smart perceptive people who love you very much. *smishes everyone*
-"Show him it's still the good old days." Mary's face does a thing. I don't know what it is, but it's making me giggle until I hiccup.
-HA!! XD
-Oh god, he's already started folding all the serviettes for the wedding reception that's in a little over two weeks, oh Sherlock.
-"That just, sort of... happened." In about 20 seconds. And now John's worried. As he should be.
-"Sherlock... mate." And then the face. Yeah, don't go exploring new forms of address now, you'll just disturb yourself.
-"I'm faking opinions and it's exhausting." Awww. Probably partly true, but still. Aww. Making up a reason to pry Sherlock away from the wedding planning and get him out on a case. ...There's a sentence I never thought I'd write in a recap post. O.o
-"Sherlock, for me."/"Don't you worry about a thing, I'll get you out of this." Oh, I hope that's not the beginning of a horrible misunderstanding, because it's made of awwwww.
-Stalking a Royal Guardsman on duty. You'd think that wouldn't be a huge challenge. Why though? Could just be because Pvt. Bainbridge is as cute as a basket of puppies, but probably more sinister than that.
-Gaaaah. Standing behind tourists, staring... and between the shadowed hood and the scruff, looking a bit like that guy from the Assassin's Creed Video game. Gaaaaaah.
-And taking pictures of him when he's in barracks. That's super creepy. Of course, standing there with the curtains open and bare-chested really isn't the best of ideas when you think someone's stalking you.
-"Bainbridge thinks his stalker is a bloke." Not that that eliminates uniform fetishism or other lascivious motivation, but if it was just about the uniform, the stalker would be watching all the guards and not just one. Even if he is the most adorable one, and really, they'd have to try pretty darn hard to find another guardsman as adorable as Bainbridge. *ruffles his fuzzy hair*
-"Why this particular Grenadier, curious." Well, with his age he's got to be pretty new, so maybe someone who knows him from before he was accepted to the Royal Guard? *ponders*
-"We're just going to- I need um- Sherlock to help me choose some uh-"/"Ties."/"Socks." *facepalm* It's a good thing Mary and John are in cahoots here, because you boys suck at lying. Though John is faking lying so that's even worse. Especially since Mary knows when Sherlock is lying, and yet he's going to pretend like she wouldn't know so, yeah. Really, everyone is in cahoots.
-"Why don't we go with socks." Yep, everyone's in cahoots here to get Sherlock and John out on a case. Awwww. (Mary's face! Her nose is pretty amazing too. The Watson kids will be fluent in all forms of nasal emoting by the age of three months. *nods*)
-"Exactly, to go with my-"/"Tie."/"-outfit." Hee! For someone who never wears one, Sherlock seems a bit focussed on John getting the right tie.
-"Just gonna take him out for a bit, run him." HEEE!! They really are all in cahoots, it's just two of them think the other isn't and Mary is the, I dunno. Grand Cahootmaster. And really, she'd probably like them both out of her hair for a bit too. XD
-AHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAH!!! Oh my god bwah! And Mary with the horns! AHAHAHAAH!
And apparently, slightly double-jointed thumbs too. Nifty!
-So maybe less of a Stag Party and more of a Stag Case? Why not indeed, especially considering Sherlock would likely not go within a mile of a Stag party, even if it was for John. But we'll see. Lots of episode left to go.
Continued in...
PART THREE
PART FOUR
PART FIVE
(PLEASE, NO SPOILERS OR REFERENCES TO ANY INFORMATION AT ALL FOR OR ABOUT EPISODES PAST 3.02 IN COMMENTS! )