SPN Fanfic: It's All In The Delivery
Title: It's All in the Delivery
Rating: GEN, PG
Word Count: 280
Warnings: Crack, Conversation format.
Disclaimer: Not mine
Summary: Icon Meme #4 - A conversation between Azazel and... I dunno, some kind of demonic image consultant. *handwaves*
A/N: Lj-Only for now.
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It's All in the Delivery
by CaffieneKitty
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"COWER IN TERROR, MORTAL!!"
"Ooo."
"What?"
"A little aggro."
"Your point being...?"
"Covert is the new overt."
"So, when I reveal my true nature to people I can't have a moment of triumphant bellowing?"
"Not really."
"What, I should just say 'greetings' before I eviscerate them?"
"Hm. You're right, it's not punchy enough."
"Menacing. I want menacing. I want mortals cowering in terror, damn it!"
"Well, you won't get it by bellowing these days."
"No? Dramatic bellowing used to be all the rage."
"Mmm. In the eleventh century I'm sure it was."
"Smoking hoof-prints, dramatic bellowing... The peasants wet themselves at the mere thought."
"Not so much anymore."
"No?"
"Things have changed. You'd likely be laughed at."
"Hmph. I cannot abide being mocked."
"Exactly. You want something... subtle."
"Can menacing be subtle?"
"Oh, it's so much more effective when it's subtle. Or cute. Or friendly."
"Well, I could do cute but Lillith called dibs on that aeons ago and I don't want to be derivative."
"So, subtle and friendly menacing it is. Also, they don't say 'greetings' very often anymore up there."
"How do they greet each other then?"
"In the area you're likely going to be most active in, they use, let's see... 'hello', 'hi', 'hiya', 'hola, 'hey', 'yo dawg', 'howdy'-"
"What was that last one?"
"'Yo dawg'?"
"No, the one after that."
"Ah. 'Howdy.'"
"Yes, that one. Howdy, howdy, howdy. Sounds nauseatingly friendly."
"It could work quite well for you, and it's not as generally common as most of the others, so it'll stand out a bit more. Not as much as 'yo, dawg' would, though."
"'Howdy.' I like it. See about encouraging my earth-bound minions to use it too."
"Of course. No harm in engaging in some corporate branding."
"Ah, yes. Branding. There's fun. The sizzle of flesh, the screaming."
"I didn't mean... oh, never mind."
- - -
(that's it for this one, back to the drabble meme)
Rating: GEN, PG
Word Count: 280
Warnings: Crack, Conversation format.
Disclaimer: Not mine
Summary: Icon Meme #4 - A conversation between Azazel and... I dunno, some kind of demonic image consultant. *handwaves*
A/N: Lj-Only for now.
-
It's All in the Delivery
by CaffieneKitty
-
"COWER IN TERROR, MORTAL!!"
"Ooo."
"What?"
"A little aggro."
"Your point being...?"
"Covert is the new overt."
"So, when I reveal my true nature to people I can't have a moment of triumphant bellowing?"
"Not really."
"What, I should just say 'greetings' before I eviscerate them?"
"Hm. You're right, it's not punchy enough."
"Menacing. I want menacing. I want mortals cowering in terror, damn it!"
"Well, you won't get it by bellowing these days."
"No? Dramatic bellowing used to be all the rage."
"Mmm. In the eleventh century I'm sure it was."
"Smoking hoof-prints, dramatic bellowing... The peasants wet themselves at the mere thought."
"Not so much anymore."
"No?"
"Things have changed. You'd likely be laughed at."
"Hmph. I cannot abide being mocked."
"Exactly. You want something... subtle."
"Can menacing be subtle?"
"Oh, it's so much more effective when it's subtle. Or cute. Or friendly."
"Well, I could do cute but Lillith called dibs on that aeons ago and I don't want to be derivative."
"So, subtle and friendly menacing it is. Also, they don't say 'greetings' very often anymore up there."
"How do they greet each other then?"
"In the area you're likely going to be most active in, they use, let's see... 'hello', 'hi', 'hiya', 'hola, 'hey', 'yo dawg', 'howdy'-"
"What was that last one?"
"'Yo dawg'?"
"No, the one after that."
"Ah. 'Howdy.'"
"Yes, that one. Howdy, howdy, howdy. Sounds nauseatingly friendly."
"It could work quite well for you, and it's not as generally common as most of the others, so it'll stand out a bit more. Not as much as 'yo, dawg' would, though."
"'Howdy.' I like it. See about encouraging my earth-bound minions to use it too."
"Of course. No harm in engaging in some corporate branding."
"Ah, yes. Branding. There's fun. The sizzle of flesh, the screaming."
"I didn't mean... oh, never mind."
- - -
(that's it for this one, back to the drabble meme)