Becoming Our Own, Part 2B
Title: Becoming Our Own, Part 2B
Author: Caera1996
Rating for this Part: G
W/C: 4,625
Disclaimer: Not mine.
Timeline Notes: A third anchor story (novel-length) in TBoPE/LAWG verse. Set five years after the end of Learning As We Go.
Overall Summary: Leonard, Jim, and Joanna have settled into the family they created. Changes and challenges are coming, though, for all of them. Moving, switching schools, issues with work, dealing with past issues that show up in the present, and an expanding extended family, are on the horizon. Through it all, as Jim and Leonard’s bond is tested, family is what holds them together.
This Part: The enormity of buying a house together gives both Leonard and Jim a lot to think about, and Jim becomes "oide".
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As they drove, they talked about the different schooling possibilities open to Jo as described by Carol yesterday. Internet and homeschooling had obvious instructional benefits. Working one on one with teachers for specific subjects would let her move as quickly as she was capable.
On the other hand, it pulled her out of the classroom, and that was a huge negative. Being around other kids, having to interact with them and with teachers in person, was a major part of making sure she continued to develop socially, and learn to get a handle on her shy nature. Neither Leonard nor Jim wanted her to live behind walls of her own making. They didn’t want her to end up lonely and unable to relate to people. That wasn’t a good life.
“But the University School…now that’s an interesting concept,” Jim said. “Allowing the students to select from available classes, and then hiring the teacher from a pool at the UCal ed. program, and having the tuition based on the shared cost of the teachers…it’s kind of brilliant.”
“Follow this road for about two miles, then we’re going to take a left at Tooney. I’ve never heard of a school being run like that. How can it even be accredited?” Leonard questioned.
Jim shrugged. “We’d have to look in to the nuts and bolts of it, but it’s probably handled the same way internet schooling is…just…without the internet part. But think of it, Bones…if Jo wanted to take a higher level class, she could, and her ‘grade’ wouldn’t matter if she met the qualifications.”
“It does sound good. It must be hard to get into, though. I can’t imagine a school like that could have more than, say, 500 kids at a time to keep the programs viable and the costs of the teachers down.”
“It probably is,” Jim agreed. “But Jo’s a pretty special kid. I actually have the folder for it. I thought we could look over the application process when we stop for lunch.”
Leonard looked over at him. “You seem pretty sold on this, Jim. I’m still not even sure leaving McKinley is the right thing to do. Turn left at the light.”
Jim did as he was directed, staying quiet for a moment. He wondered how much of what he was thinking he should share. Five years, and though he never questioned his place in the family, he still was sometimes unsure of the weight of his role when it came to parenting Jo. When it came down to it, no matter how Jim felt about her, she was Leonard’s. And he wasn’t even an actual stepparent.
Leonard turned from watching the window to look at Jim’s profile. He looked a little tense, and Leonard wondered if he’d said something that struck a nerve. Whatever it was, it was clear to him that Jim was holding on to something he wasn’t sure if he should say. He was usually pretty confident, and there wasn’t much that could make him doubt whether or not to share a thought. Sometimes, though, when it came to Jo, he did.
He shouldn’t. Leonard knew Jim loved her, and they’d completely accepted each other into their lives so easily. But Jim was a product of the way he’d grown up. He’d confided in Leonard more than once that he was concerned about whether or not he’d even know how to be a good parent.
“Jim,” Leonard said. “Whatever you’re thinking, tell me. I know you’ve got her best interests at heart, the same way I do. And, by the way, it’s a good thing that we don’t necessarily see things the same way. We don’t always have to agree. Take a left up here, then a right.”
Jim felt his face warm as Bones pretty much read his mind. He should be used to it by now, how well Bones knew him, and how he knew what to say when he was feeling out of his depth, especially when it came to Joanna. Bones just never doubted Jim’s ability to be in that role, and he loved him for it.
“What’s the address again? This is the street, right?” Jim asked, putting their conversation on hold.
“Yeah, this is it,” Leonard replied. “1402-2…there…is that it?”
Jim looked where Leonard was pointing. There was a row house with two numbers on the door, and he realized that Ryan’s family was probably renting the second level.
“Yup, must be.”
Jim pulled over and parked across the street from the house, looking out of the window and taking everything in. It was an average-looking street, for the most part. The houses looked a little run-down, the paint a little faded. The cars didn’t look expensive, but there weren’t any junks visible either.
“It all looks pretty normal to me, Jim.”
“Yeah, me too,” he agreed, sounding puzzled.
“Not what you expected?” Leonard asked, looking over at him.
Jim glanced over at him and shrugged. “I didn’t really have any expectations, Bones. I just…wanted to see.”
They stayed a few more minutes, mostly sitting quietly while Jim just observed, thinking about what he knew about Ryan. Not much. He’d pulled the student’s address from the system, but hadn’t looked at the school files yet. But the librarian…Anna…who’d asked him if he could take a moment to meet with the boy…had said something was just staying with Jim, even as he sat in the car in a normal-looking neighborhood in front of a normal-looking house.
“He seems like he’s just adrift, Mr. Kirk,” Anna had said. “Like he’s…lost.”
His talk with Ryan hadn’t yielded much. He was defensive and closed off. But the little he did speak belied an intelligence that he seemed to keep to himself. He’d been reluctant to make eye contact with Jim, but when he did, the distrust was obvious. In the end, Jim had found himself agreeing with Anna. He did seem lost…and that made Jim want to reach out to him even more.
Leonard waited patiently as they sat there, watching the traffic and people go by, until Jim put the car back in gear and carefully pulled away from the curb and back into traffic.
“Well,” Jim said with a sigh. “I don’t know any more than I did before, but I’m still glad we did this. Thanks for going along with it.”
“Sure, Darlin’. I may not understand all of your methods, but I can’t deny you’re effective at what you do,” Leonard replied.
Jim gave him a smile, and they drove in silence as Jim negotiated the streets back to the main drag that would take them across town the rest of the way to the Coldwell Banker office.
Just as Leonard was going to prompt Jim again, and ask that he share his thoughts about the school situation with Jo, Jim brought it up on his own.
“Do you remember what Jo said about those tests she had on Friday?” he asked.
Leonard thought back and nodded. “Yeah, that she didn’t really study for them.”
Jim waited a beat, then, “And you don’t see a problem with that?”
“Well…if she knew the material…”
“Bones….she should have to study. The things that determine her grades should be challenging enough that she has to worry a little about doing well on the test. I feel like she’s missing out on a major part of her educational life because she’s not learning that. She’s not being given the chance to have to work hard to get something. And what’ll happen when she gets to a hard class, or starts having to work for grades, and doesn’t know how to handle that? Because it is going to happen eventually, Bones. I’d rather it be sooner - and give her a chance to learn how to study properly - than later, and have her struggle in classes as a college student.”
Leonard remained quiet, absorbing everything Jim said. He didn’t know if he agreed. He didn’t think Jo would let something like that stop her. She’d figure it out. She might have to work harder, but she’d figure it out.
“Okay,” Leonard said finally. “I understand what you’re saying, but I don’t think it’s that big of a problem. I think she’ll be able to handle harder classes. I think she’ll figure out how to learn and how to study. And I don’t necessarily think we need to yank the rug out from under her by cutting her time short at McKinley to accomplish that. I’m not seeing why waiting till there’s a natural break - like the end of 8th grade - is a problem. A kid is more than academics, right?” Leonard asked, repeating what Jim had said yesterday.
“Right,” he nodded. “But a kid is also more flexible when they’re already new to something. This is her first year going to school as a middle school student. Why wait and let her get more set in the way she’s just skating by for a whole other year when there may be an opportunity to put her on the right path now?” Jim countered.
Leonard shook his head and shrugged, still conflicted. “I don’t know what to think, Jim. What you’re saying makes sense. But I don’t know if it feels right for her.”
“Well, we don’t have to make any decisions right now,” Jim said. “But…let’s just keep the possibility of changing where we send her every day in mind as we’re looking for a house.”
“Okay,” Leonard agreed. “That’s fair. And Jim…I’m not discounting anything you’re saying. I appreciate your take on things. I’m just…I have no freaking idea what to do.”
Jim smiled and shrugged slightly. “I understand. I just appreciate that you’re willing to hear me out.”
Leonard reached for and took Jim’s hand over the center console. “Jim, of course I’m willing to hear you out. You play an important part in Jo’s life. What you think matters.”
Jim didn’t answer, but squeezed Leonard’s hand in acknowledgment. He knew that, and Bones never gave him a reason to doubt it, but it was still good to hear.
They arrived at the Coldwell Banker office a few minutes later, and Jim found a place to park just down the street.
“I am so excited about this,” Jim said happily. He paused at the sidewalk, waiting for Leonard to join him.
“Me too, Darlin’….but don’t get your hopes up about making this happen quickly. It took more than a year the last time I did something like this,” Leonard cautioned.
Jim nodded. “Yeah, I got to hear the blow-by-blow from Sulu when he was buying his house. It seemed like there was a complication at every juncture. But I’m not worried about any of that.”
“No?” Leonard questioned, as he pulled open the outer door to the office building.
“Nope,” Jim responded confidentially. “Pretty much everything has worked out for us. This will too.”
Leonard couldn’t help but smile at that. He loved the certainty. They stood at the receptionist’s desk, waiting for her to get off the phone. When the call ended, she focused her attention on them.
“Good afternoon, welcome! How can I help you?”
“Hi,” Jim said. “My brother worked with Estelle Gavin when he was buying his house, and now it’s my turn. We’d love to work with Estelle if she’s available. If not…”
“Oh, I think she’s here right now. Please take a seat, and I’ll give her a call.”
Minutes later, Estelle, an older woman with black hair pulled back in a rather severe bun, came out to greet them and ushered them into her office. Impeccably dressed and with perfectly applied make-up, she looked like a no-nonsense, humor-impaired lady who yelled at kids to get off her lawn.
After just a few minutes with her, though, Jim and Leonard were pleasantly surprised to realize her looks and her demeanor were polar opposites. Estelle had a sharp wit and a dry sense of humor that they both responded to. Leonard could see right away why Sam and Aurelan had so highly recommended her.
They sat and talked for a while, going over what they wanted and how they thought they wanted to do it. Estelle brought up a couple of good points, including the possibility of bringing in a real estate attorney.
“I work with one I trust - as far as you can trust an attorney anyway - and I’d be happy to set up a meeting with him. Since you’re not married, and you’d each be co-owners, there should be a contract in place to protect both of you.”
Jim had balked at that idea, not really feeling a need for it, and Estelle nodded, understanding where he was coming from.
“But here’s the thing, Jim,” she said, leaning back in her chair. “Contracts aren’t for now, when everything’s great. They’re for a “maybe later” - if there’s ever a problem, God forbid. What if Leonard here got hit by a bus? Could you afford a house by yourself? Who would be responsible for his half? Not the daughter, not any of his relatives. You,” she said, driving it home with a finger pointing squarely at Jim’s chest. “And then if you can’t afford it, and he’s gone, you’re the one who’s screwed.”
“That’s…a really horrible thought,” Jim said, looking over at Leonard. And really, not one he’d stopped to consider.
“Not sure a bus was necessary,” Leonard said mildly, not liking the imagery any more than Jim did.
“I know, I know…it’s horrible to think of, and God willing, nothing will ever happen, and you two will live and be together forever. But if there’s life, there’s possibilities of all kinds…and believe me, I’ve seen it all.” She looked back and forth between the two men. Leonard seemed more okay with it….which wasn’t surprising. People with kids generally were. She could see, though, that Jim still wasn’t on board. Not completely. So, she held up her hands in surrender.
“Look, I won’t push. Just meet with the attorney, and hear him out, ask him questions, all of that. Of course, ultimately it’s your own decision that you two have to make together. But if you’re going to have me as your realtor, I’m always going to act in your best interest, and steer you to do the same. At least talking to an attorney is in your best interest. Okay?”
“Okay,” Leonard said, answering for both of them, and putting a hand on Jim’s knee. “We’ll meet with him, but no promises about what will come of it.”
“Fine, fine. Now…let’s start talking about specifics so I can start looking for you. A house with a surrounding yard, huh? You do know you’re in San Francisco, correct?”
They stayed a while longer, answering questions to give Estelle as much information as possible. She also walked them through the beginning of securing a mortgage, including the assignment to go home and check their credit scores, then go online and see if either of their banks had any special programs for doctors or teachers.
“I didn’t realize that there might be a program out there for school district employees,” Jim said.
“Not always,” Estelle said. “But sometimes there are programs available that cover closing costs, or offer exclusive rates. Anyway, it’s worth a look.”
They left a short while later, both feeling a little wrung out, and Jim, Leonard thought, looked a little pale.
“You okay?” he asked, catching Jim’s hand between them as they headed down the sidewalk to a little café they’d spotted on the way there.
“Yeah, I’m good. It’s just…a lot to take in and think about,” Jim replied.
Leonard nodded, but was still worried. It was a lot. It was a huge financial and personal commitment. And no matter how they felt about each other, this would be a big change. They’d be linked together officially, legally, and financially. Jim was right. It was a lot to take in and think about. Maybe it was too much. Maybe he’d…over-stepped.
His own doubtful thoughts swirling, he absently pulled open the door to the café. One of the servers greeted them and invited them to take a seat wherever they liked. Jim led them to a booth towards the back, and they slid in, one on each side to face each other.
After they’d reviewed the menu and given their selections to their waitress Leonard decided this was too big to let go so easily. Not when they were both obviously…concerned.
“Is it too much?” Leonard asked. “Cause, Jim…it doesn’t have to be done like this, if you’re not comfortable with it. I can…”
“Hey…no,” Jim said quickly. He reached for Leonard’s hand across the table, curling his fingers around his palm, stroking with his thumb. He looked into Leonard’s eyes, wanting him to really see he meant what he was saying. “Yes, it’s a lot. Yes, I…well, I guess I underestimated how a big a deal this actually was. But that doesn’t change the fact that I want to do this with you. I want us to do this together.”
Leonard looked up when the waitress arrived with their drinks, and Jim let him go, sitting back a little on his side. She set their iced teas down on the table with a little bowl of sugar packets.
“Thanks,” Leonard said distractedly, eyes still on Jim.
“It’s a lot, but I want to. I love you, and I trust you. This is…it’s big, for sure. But it’s just one more thing.” Jim smiled, shrugged. “Let’s just jump.”
Finally convinced that Jim was in this with him because he wanted to be, something within Leonard relaxed. Their lunch came, and they passed the time talking about other things, tabling the house for the time being.
Just as they were finishing, Leonard got a call from Jo, saying she was ready to be picked up. They settled the bill, and then headed out, shoulders brushing as they headed back to the car.
As they were headed back to the Eberly’s to pick up Joanna, Jim’s cell phone rang. He pulled it out of his pocket, but handed it to Leonard to answer. The gray day had turned rainy again, and driving on city streets with people who weren’t necessarily used to the way such rainfall changed road conditions made him especially cautious.
“Hey Sam, it’s Leonard.”
Jim listened to the conversation that ended with Bones saying they’d be there. Hanging up, he shared the reason for the call.
“We’re invited for dinner tomorrow night,” Leonard said.
Jim nodded. “That’s good. I feel like it’s been a while since we’ve all had a chance to be together. You can make brownies to bring over.”
Leonard rolled his eyes, but nodded. Jim was always bugging him to make brownies. The man had a sweet tooth, for sure.
“It’s a good thing you run as much as you do,” Bones gently teased as they stopped at a light. He reached over to poke at Jim’s midsection.
“Hey,” Jim said, pushing his hand away. “I’m the exact same size now as I was when you met me.” He grinned good-naturedly, and nodded towards Leonard. “You, however, got a little more salt going on in that pepper.”
Leonard smiled, running a hand through his hair. “Ain’t that the truth. I can thank my mama for that one. And Joanna. And you.”
Jim chuckled and shrugged, acknowledging the probable truth of that statement.
Minutes later, they turned on to the Eberly’s street, parked a short distance from their house, and were knocking on their door. Jim decided to come, instead of staying with the car, curious to see the results of Jo’s partnership with the older girl. As Jo had explained it, they weren’t friends, but they weren’t not friends, and they seemed to work well together.
Ella was more than happy to show off the poster, pointing out the pictures she’d either downloaded or drawn, explaining how they all fit in to the project over all.
“And what about the written parts?” Jim asked. “Who did those?” He’d been looking at Jo, who was quietly gathering her things, but Ella answered.
“Joanna, mostly. I told her what to write for some of the things I talked to my penpal about. And she did the paper. And I’m going to do the oral presentation,” she finished proudly.
“Well, it looks great, you two,” Lana said. She turned to Leonard and Jim. “They didn’t ask for my help once. I went over the grading rubric, and it looks to me like they hit everything they needed to.”
“Excellent,” Leonard said as he flipped through the written report. “Good job Jo. You too, Ella.”
“Thanks!”
“Thanks, Dad,” Jo said, and Leonard raised his eyebrows. He was almost always “daddy”. Not in front of her friends, apparently.
“Got all your stuff?” Jim asked.
“Yup, all set.”
In the car, Leonard turned in his seat to talk to Jo.
“Baby, it looked to me like you did the lion’s share of the work on that project,” he said. “What do you think?”
Joanna shrugged. “I did most of the writing part,” she said. “But I don’t mind. And Ella’s going to do the oral part of the report, too. I think it’s even enough.”
Leonard glanced at Jim, each thinking the same thing…No, it’s not.
“Well, okay, Baby. As long as you don’t feel like Ella took advantage of you,” Leonard said.
“No…no, I don’t think that,” Jo replied, though the pitch of her voice made her sound less than convincing.
They headed home, the late afternoon still gray and overcast.
“Are we doing anything else today?” Jo asked.
“We don’t have anything else planned,” Jim replied. “Maybe just going to the food store. Why, sweetie? Got something in mind?”
“No, not really. I, um…I have something I want to talk to you about,” she said hesitantly. She looked up, meeting Jim’s eyes in the rearview mirror, then looking away quickly, a light blush blooming across her pretty face.
“Who, Baby?” Leonard asked. “Me or Jim?”
“Um….well, both of you, I think.”
Leonard and Jim exchanged a quick look; both wondering what was on her mind.
“Okay, Darlin’,” Leonard said. “We’ll talk.”
Back at home, Jo brought her backpack into her room and stayed in there for a while. She loved her room…it was a place of refuge for her. It was quiet, and she could just sprawl on her bed or on her floor with a book or a notebook, or with any of the craft kits she loved. Sometimes she put on music, sometimes she just sat in the quiet. Unlike a lot of kids her age, she didn’t have a TV in her room. She probably could’ve if she’d asked. But her dad had never offered it, and she really never wanted it.
Out there, it was often loud and a little overwhelming. Not quite as bad as when she was younger, but still sometimes it was just all so much. And after a day at school, or like today, when she was at a classmate’s house and feeling a little out of sorts because of it, it was such a relief to be able to come back to her room where she could relax.
Usually.
Now, though, as she spent some time with Jack, nervous thoughts raced through her mind. She was worried that Uncle Jim wouldn’t like the idea that she had…and she was worried that maybe her father wouldn’t like the idea. And then she thought that maybe she should talk to her father first. And then she thought maybe she should just write a letter and leave it for them to find, like Janie did the last time she was angry at her parents. Except Jo wasn’t angry at all.
She was just nervous.
And suddenly, a memory from about five years ago arose in her mind. She was just a little kid then, and still confused over what it meant to have her daddy and Jim love each other. She remembered the breakfast that Uncle Jim had made - his second try at cheesy grits - and she remembered being held on her father’s lap as Uncle Jim had explained that he was going to move in, and they were all going to live together, because he loved both of them.
Jo wondered if Uncle Jim had been as nervous as she was now.
Probably not, she decided. Uncle Jim wasn’t the kind of person to really be nervous about anything.
That was so long ago now. She could hardly remember a time when Uncle Jim wasn’t part of their family.
But…he wasn’t her uncle. It’d worked for a while, but that wasn’t who he was to her. She just hoped that they both agreed. She didn’t want to hurt her father’s feelings.
Deciding that she’d dawdled enough, Jo pulled her door open. Her bare feet making little noise on the tile, she made her way down the hall toward the family room where Uncle Jim and her father were lounging on the couch together, watching some type of news program.
“Here she comes,” Jim said quietly. Leonard nodded. They were both curious to know what Jo wanted to talk to them about, but she’d headed for her room when they got home, and had been in there for a little while. When Leonard checked on her, he’d found her sitting in the middle of her bed, brushing Jack. He knew she needed her space, but he was very curious to know what was on her mind. She’d assured him that everything was fine and she’d be out in a little while, so he’d left her to it, to Jack’s feline delight.
Now, though, as she stood uncertainly in front of them, Jim and Leonard shifted to make room for her, and she happily joined them, giving them each a kiss and a hug.
“So, Jo…you going to tell us what’s goin’ on in that little head of yours?” Leonard asked with a smile.
“Yeah,” she said, nodding. “I am. I was thinking…Uncle Jim is not my uncle.”
“That’s true,” Jim said. “I’m not your uncle the same way I’m Janie’s uncle.”
“So, um…I don’t think I should call you Uncle Jim anymore. It just doesn’t feel like that fits who you are to me,” Jo said seriously. She’d held Jim’s eyes as long as she could, but ended up looking away. When she did, Leonard caught the barely-concealed hurt in Jim’s eyes, and he had to stop himself from jumping in. Jo had a point, he was sure, and it wasn’t to hurt Jim’s feelings.
“Oh…uh, okay, Jo,” Jim said, doing his best to keep his voice unaffected. “You can just call me Jim. Or…is there something else you want to call me instead?” he asked, reluctant to suggest anything and wondering where this was coming from.
“You know my heritage project?” she asked, looking up again.
Jim blinked, surprised at the non-sequitor, but nodded. “Yup…you did a lot of writing for the paper.”
Joanna nodded. “One of the things we had to do was look for words that were interesting to us that our penpals used, but aren’t in English. And you know what word was interesting to me?”
“No, what, sweetie?” Jim asked, confused, but willing to play along.
“Kirk. Did you know that kirk means ‘church’ in Gaelic? Is your family from Scotland, a long time ago?”
“Uh, well, yes.” Jim answered, eyes finding Bones, who was looking just as puzzled. “My dad’s side is from Scotland. I don’t know if I still have relatives there, or anything but I might.”
Jo nodded, then turned her attention to her father. “Daddy, I know you’re not married to Jim, so I hope you won’t mind…but I was thinking….since Uncle Jim’s background is Scottish…and since you’re not my uncle,” she looked back at Jim. “And you don’t feel like just an uncle. You’re…like a parent. My other parent. I thought, if it’s okay…I could call you oide.”
“And what does oide mean?” Leonard asked her.
“Step-father,” she said. She looked up at both of them, pink in the face. “My pen-pal has a mother, and a step-father she calls oide. And…I kinda feel like I do, too.”
She was looking at them both nervously, their silence making her unsure about her request, and her flush deepened.
“Is…is that okay?”
Jim swallowed hard and blinked quickly, taking a second to dash a hand across his eyes and try to get a grip on his composure. Looking back at the little girl, he opened his arms to her, and she went happily, leaning into him and wrapping her arms around him. Jim held her, one hand cupping her head, the other around her back. He closed his eyes when he felt her rest her head on his shoulder.
“It’s perfect,” Jim said. “I love that word. I’m so lucky you want to call me that, Joanna.”
“I love you, oide,” she said. “It’s just more of what you are.”
Jim swallowed again, and took a breath that shuddered a little, then released her. He gently eased her back into her father’s lap, then excused himself from the room.
Jo turned to look at her father, and found that he was looking at her with soft eyes and a loving smile. She noticed that he was looking a little teary, too…and he was, as much moved by Jim’s reaction as he was his daughter’s simple, innocent sentiment. Jo leaned in to him, kissing his cheek.
“You don’t mind, do you Daddy?”
“No, Baby. I don’t mind at all. I agree with Jim…it’s perfect.”
Joanna nodded. “I didn’t mean to make anyone cry,” she said, happy that her suggestion had gone over well, but a little perplexed at the outcome.
“Oh, they’re the best kind of tears, Darlin’. Happy tears. Jim loves you, and you just made him… made both of us…” he amended, “so, so happy.”
<---Back to Part 2A To Part 3 -->
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Author: Caera1996
Rating for this Part: G
W/C: 4,625
Disclaimer: Not mine.
Timeline Notes: A third anchor story (novel-length) in TBoPE/LAWG verse. Set five years after the end of Learning As We Go.
Overall Summary: Leonard, Jim, and Joanna have settled into the family they created. Changes and challenges are coming, though, for all of them. Moving, switching schools, issues with work, dealing with past issues that show up in the present, and an expanding extended family, are on the horizon. Through it all, as Jim and Leonard’s bond is tested, family is what holds them together.
This Part: The enormity of buying a house together gives both Leonard and Jim a lot to think about, and Jim becomes "oide".
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As they drove, they talked about the different schooling possibilities open to Jo as described by Carol yesterday. Internet and homeschooling had obvious instructional benefits. Working one on one with teachers for specific subjects would let her move as quickly as she was capable.
On the other hand, it pulled her out of the classroom, and that was a huge negative. Being around other kids, having to interact with them and with teachers in person, was a major part of making sure she continued to develop socially, and learn to get a handle on her shy nature. Neither Leonard nor Jim wanted her to live behind walls of her own making. They didn’t want her to end up lonely and unable to relate to people. That wasn’t a good life.
“But the University School…now that’s an interesting concept,” Jim said. “Allowing the students to select from available classes, and then hiring the teacher from a pool at the UCal ed. program, and having the tuition based on the shared cost of the teachers…it’s kind of brilliant.”
“Follow this road for about two miles, then we’re going to take a left at Tooney. I’ve never heard of a school being run like that. How can it even be accredited?” Leonard questioned.
Jim shrugged. “We’d have to look in to the nuts and bolts of it, but it’s probably handled the same way internet schooling is…just…without the internet part. But think of it, Bones…if Jo wanted to take a higher level class, she could, and her ‘grade’ wouldn’t matter if she met the qualifications.”
“It does sound good. It must be hard to get into, though. I can’t imagine a school like that could have more than, say, 500 kids at a time to keep the programs viable and the costs of the teachers down.”
“It probably is,” Jim agreed. “But Jo’s a pretty special kid. I actually have the folder for it. I thought we could look over the application process when we stop for lunch.”
Leonard looked over at him. “You seem pretty sold on this, Jim. I’m still not even sure leaving McKinley is the right thing to do. Turn left at the light.”
Jim did as he was directed, staying quiet for a moment. He wondered how much of what he was thinking he should share. Five years, and though he never questioned his place in the family, he still was sometimes unsure of the weight of his role when it came to parenting Jo. When it came down to it, no matter how Jim felt about her, she was Leonard’s. And he wasn’t even an actual stepparent.
Leonard turned from watching the window to look at Jim’s profile. He looked a little tense, and Leonard wondered if he’d said something that struck a nerve. Whatever it was, it was clear to him that Jim was holding on to something he wasn’t sure if he should say. He was usually pretty confident, and there wasn’t much that could make him doubt whether or not to share a thought. Sometimes, though, when it came to Jo, he did.
He shouldn’t. Leonard knew Jim loved her, and they’d completely accepted each other into their lives so easily. But Jim was a product of the way he’d grown up. He’d confided in Leonard more than once that he was concerned about whether or not he’d even know how to be a good parent.
“Jim,” Leonard said. “Whatever you’re thinking, tell me. I know you’ve got her best interests at heart, the same way I do. And, by the way, it’s a good thing that we don’t necessarily see things the same way. We don’t always have to agree. Take a left up here, then a right.”
Jim felt his face warm as Bones pretty much read his mind. He should be used to it by now, how well Bones knew him, and how he knew what to say when he was feeling out of his depth, especially when it came to Joanna. Bones just never doubted Jim’s ability to be in that role, and he loved him for it.
“What’s the address again? This is the street, right?” Jim asked, putting their conversation on hold.
“Yeah, this is it,” Leonard replied. “1402-2…there…is that it?”
Jim looked where Leonard was pointing. There was a row house with two numbers on the door, and he realized that Ryan’s family was probably renting the second level.
“Yup, must be.”
Jim pulled over and parked across the street from the house, looking out of the window and taking everything in. It was an average-looking street, for the most part. The houses looked a little run-down, the paint a little faded. The cars didn’t look expensive, but there weren’t any junks visible either.
“It all looks pretty normal to me, Jim.”
“Yeah, me too,” he agreed, sounding puzzled.
“Not what you expected?” Leonard asked, looking over at him.
Jim glanced over at him and shrugged. “I didn’t really have any expectations, Bones. I just…wanted to see.”
They stayed a few more minutes, mostly sitting quietly while Jim just observed, thinking about what he knew about Ryan. Not much. He’d pulled the student’s address from the system, but hadn’t looked at the school files yet. But the librarian…Anna…who’d asked him if he could take a moment to meet with the boy…had said something was just staying with Jim, even as he sat in the car in a normal-looking neighborhood in front of a normal-looking house.
“He seems like he’s just adrift, Mr. Kirk,” Anna had said. “Like he’s…lost.”
His talk with Ryan hadn’t yielded much. He was defensive and closed off. But the little he did speak belied an intelligence that he seemed to keep to himself. He’d been reluctant to make eye contact with Jim, but when he did, the distrust was obvious. In the end, Jim had found himself agreeing with Anna. He did seem lost…and that made Jim want to reach out to him even more.
Leonard waited patiently as they sat there, watching the traffic and people go by, until Jim put the car back in gear and carefully pulled away from the curb and back into traffic.
“Well,” Jim said with a sigh. “I don’t know any more than I did before, but I’m still glad we did this. Thanks for going along with it.”
“Sure, Darlin’. I may not understand all of your methods, but I can’t deny you’re effective at what you do,” Leonard replied.
Jim gave him a smile, and they drove in silence as Jim negotiated the streets back to the main drag that would take them across town the rest of the way to the Coldwell Banker office.
Just as Leonard was going to prompt Jim again, and ask that he share his thoughts about the school situation with Jo, Jim brought it up on his own.
“Do you remember what Jo said about those tests she had on Friday?” he asked.
Leonard thought back and nodded. “Yeah, that she didn’t really study for them.”
Jim waited a beat, then, “And you don’t see a problem with that?”
“Well…if she knew the material…”
“Bones….she should have to study. The things that determine her grades should be challenging enough that she has to worry a little about doing well on the test. I feel like she’s missing out on a major part of her educational life because she’s not learning that. She’s not being given the chance to have to work hard to get something. And what’ll happen when she gets to a hard class, or starts having to work for grades, and doesn’t know how to handle that? Because it is going to happen eventually, Bones. I’d rather it be sooner - and give her a chance to learn how to study properly - than later, and have her struggle in classes as a college student.”
Leonard remained quiet, absorbing everything Jim said. He didn’t know if he agreed. He didn’t think Jo would let something like that stop her. She’d figure it out. She might have to work harder, but she’d figure it out.
“Okay,” Leonard said finally. “I understand what you’re saying, but I don’t think it’s that big of a problem. I think she’ll be able to handle harder classes. I think she’ll figure out how to learn and how to study. And I don’t necessarily think we need to yank the rug out from under her by cutting her time short at McKinley to accomplish that. I’m not seeing why waiting till there’s a natural break - like the end of 8th grade - is a problem. A kid is more than academics, right?” Leonard asked, repeating what Jim had said yesterday.
“Right,” he nodded. “But a kid is also more flexible when they’re already new to something. This is her first year going to school as a middle school student. Why wait and let her get more set in the way she’s just skating by for a whole other year when there may be an opportunity to put her on the right path now?” Jim countered.
Leonard shook his head and shrugged, still conflicted. “I don’t know what to think, Jim. What you’re saying makes sense. But I don’t know if it feels right for her.”
“Well, we don’t have to make any decisions right now,” Jim said. “But…let’s just keep the possibility of changing where we send her every day in mind as we’re looking for a house.”
“Okay,” Leonard agreed. “That’s fair. And Jim…I’m not discounting anything you’re saying. I appreciate your take on things. I’m just…I have no freaking idea what to do.”
Jim smiled and shrugged slightly. “I understand. I just appreciate that you’re willing to hear me out.”
Leonard reached for and took Jim’s hand over the center console. “Jim, of course I’m willing to hear you out. You play an important part in Jo’s life. What you think matters.”
Jim didn’t answer, but squeezed Leonard’s hand in acknowledgment. He knew that, and Bones never gave him a reason to doubt it, but it was still good to hear.
They arrived at the Coldwell Banker office a few minutes later, and Jim found a place to park just down the street.
“I am so excited about this,” Jim said happily. He paused at the sidewalk, waiting for Leonard to join him.
“Me too, Darlin’….but don’t get your hopes up about making this happen quickly. It took more than a year the last time I did something like this,” Leonard cautioned.
Jim nodded. “Yeah, I got to hear the blow-by-blow from Sulu when he was buying his house. It seemed like there was a complication at every juncture. But I’m not worried about any of that.”
“No?” Leonard questioned, as he pulled open the outer door to the office building.
“Nope,” Jim responded confidentially. “Pretty much everything has worked out for us. This will too.”
Leonard couldn’t help but smile at that. He loved the certainty. They stood at the receptionist’s desk, waiting for her to get off the phone. When the call ended, she focused her attention on them.
“Good afternoon, welcome! How can I help you?”
“Hi,” Jim said. “My brother worked with Estelle Gavin when he was buying his house, and now it’s my turn. We’d love to work with Estelle if she’s available. If not…”
“Oh, I think she’s here right now. Please take a seat, and I’ll give her a call.”
Minutes later, Estelle, an older woman with black hair pulled back in a rather severe bun, came out to greet them and ushered them into her office. Impeccably dressed and with perfectly applied make-up, she looked like a no-nonsense, humor-impaired lady who yelled at kids to get off her lawn.
After just a few minutes with her, though, Jim and Leonard were pleasantly surprised to realize her looks and her demeanor were polar opposites. Estelle had a sharp wit and a dry sense of humor that they both responded to. Leonard could see right away why Sam and Aurelan had so highly recommended her.
They sat and talked for a while, going over what they wanted and how they thought they wanted to do it. Estelle brought up a couple of good points, including the possibility of bringing in a real estate attorney.
“I work with one I trust - as far as you can trust an attorney anyway - and I’d be happy to set up a meeting with him. Since you’re not married, and you’d each be co-owners, there should be a contract in place to protect both of you.”
Jim had balked at that idea, not really feeling a need for it, and Estelle nodded, understanding where he was coming from.
“But here’s the thing, Jim,” she said, leaning back in her chair. “Contracts aren’t for now, when everything’s great. They’re for a “maybe later” - if there’s ever a problem, God forbid. What if Leonard here got hit by a bus? Could you afford a house by yourself? Who would be responsible for his half? Not the daughter, not any of his relatives. You,” she said, driving it home with a finger pointing squarely at Jim’s chest. “And then if you can’t afford it, and he’s gone, you’re the one who’s screwed.”
“That’s…a really horrible thought,” Jim said, looking over at Leonard. And really, not one he’d stopped to consider.
“Not sure a bus was necessary,” Leonard said mildly, not liking the imagery any more than Jim did.
“I know, I know…it’s horrible to think of, and God willing, nothing will ever happen, and you two will live and be together forever. But if there’s life, there’s possibilities of all kinds…and believe me, I’ve seen it all.” She looked back and forth between the two men. Leonard seemed more okay with it….which wasn’t surprising. People with kids generally were. She could see, though, that Jim still wasn’t on board. Not completely. So, she held up her hands in surrender.
“Look, I won’t push. Just meet with the attorney, and hear him out, ask him questions, all of that. Of course, ultimately it’s your own decision that you two have to make together. But if you’re going to have me as your realtor, I’m always going to act in your best interest, and steer you to do the same. At least talking to an attorney is in your best interest. Okay?”
“Okay,” Leonard said, answering for both of them, and putting a hand on Jim’s knee. “We’ll meet with him, but no promises about what will come of it.”
“Fine, fine. Now…let’s start talking about specifics so I can start looking for you. A house with a surrounding yard, huh? You do know you’re in San Francisco, correct?”
They stayed a while longer, answering questions to give Estelle as much information as possible. She also walked them through the beginning of securing a mortgage, including the assignment to go home and check their credit scores, then go online and see if either of their banks had any special programs for doctors or teachers.
“I didn’t realize that there might be a program out there for school district employees,” Jim said.
“Not always,” Estelle said. “But sometimes there are programs available that cover closing costs, or offer exclusive rates. Anyway, it’s worth a look.”
They left a short while later, both feeling a little wrung out, and Jim, Leonard thought, looked a little pale.
“You okay?” he asked, catching Jim’s hand between them as they headed down the sidewalk to a little café they’d spotted on the way there.
“Yeah, I’m good. It’s just…a lot to take in and think about,” Jim replied.
Leonard nodded, but was still worried. It was a lot. It was a huge financial and personal commitment. And no matter how they felt about each other, this would be a big change. They’d be linked together officially, legally, and financially. Jim was right. It was a lot to take in and think about. Maybe it was too much. Maybe he’d…over-stepped.
His own doubtful thoughts swirling, he absently pulled open the door to the café. One of the servers greeted them and invited them to take a seat wherever they liked. Jim led them to a booth towards the back, and they slid in, one on each side to face each other.
After they’d reviewed the menu and given their selections to their waitress Leonard decided this was too big to let go so easily. Not when they were both obviously…concerned.
“Is it too much?” Leonard asked. “Cause, Jim…it doesn’t have to be done like this, if you’re not comfortable with it. I can…”
“Hey…no,” Jim said quickly. He reached for Leonard’s hand across the table, curling his fingers around his palm, stroking with his thumb. He looked into Leonard’s eyes, wanting him to really see he meant what he was saying. “Yes, it’s a lot. Yes, I…well, I guess I underestimated how a big a deal this actually was. But that doesn’t change the fact that I want to do this with you. I want us to do this together.”
Leonard looked up when the waitress arrived with their drinks, and Jim let him go, sitting back a little on his side. She set their iced teas down on the table with a little bowl of sugar packets.
“Thanks,” Leonard said distractedly, eyes still on Jim.
“It’s a lot, but I want to. I love you, and I trust you. This is…it’s big, for sure. But it’s just one more thing.” Jim smiled, shrugged. “Let’s just jump.”
Finally convinced that Jim was in this with him because he wanted to be, something within Leonard relaxed. Their lunch came, and they passed the time talking about other things, tabling the house for the time being.
Just as they were finishing, Leonard got a call from Jo, saying she was ready to be picked up. They settled the bill, and then headed out, shoulders brushing as they headed back to the car.
As they were headed back to the Eberly’s to pick up Joanna, Jim’s cell phone rang. He pulled it out of his pocket, but handed it to Leonard to answer. The gray day had turned rainy again, and driving on city streets with people who weren’t necessarily used to the way such rainfall changed road conditions made him especially cautious.
“Hey Sam, it’s Leonard.”
Jim listened to the conversation that ended with Bones saying they’d be there. Hanging up, he shared the reason for the call.
“We’re invited for dinner tomorrow night,” Leonard said.
Jim nodded. “That’s good. I feel like it’s been a while since we’ve all had a chance to be together. You can make brownies to bring over.”
Leonard rolled his eyes, but nodded. Jim was always bugging him to make brownies. The man had a sweet tooth, for sure.
“It’s a good thing you run as much as you do,” Bones gently teased as they stopped at a light. He reached over to poke at Jim’s midsection.
“Hey,” Jim said, pushing his hand away. “I’m the exact same size now as I was when you met me.” He grinned good-naturedly, and nodded towards Leonard. “You, however, got a little more salt going on in that pepper.”
Leonard smiled, running a hand through his hair. “Ain’t that the truth. I can thank my mama for that one. And Joanna. And you.”
Jim chuckled and shrugged, acknowledging the probable truth of that statement.
Minutes later, they turned on to the Eberly’s street, parked a short distance from their house, and were knocking on their door. Jim decided to come, instead of staying with the car, curious to see the results of Jo’s partnership with the older girl. As Jo had explained it, they weren’t friends, but they weren’t not friends, and they seemed to work well together.
Ella was more than happy to show off the poster, pointing out the pictures she’d either downloaded or drawn, explaining how they all fit in to the project over all.
“And what about the written parts?” Jim asked. “Who did those?” He’d been looking at Jo, who was quietly gathering her things, but Ella answered.
“Joanna, mostly. I told her what to write for some of the things I talked to my penpal about. And she did the paper. And I’m going to do the oral presentation,” she finished proudly.
“Well, it looks great, you two,” Lana said. She turned to Leonard and Jim. “They didn’t ask for my help once. I went over the grading rubric, and it looks to me like they hit everything they needed to.”
“Excellent,” Leonard said as he flipped through the written report. “Good job Jo. You too, Ella.”
“Thanks!”
“Thanks, Dad,” Jo said, and Leonard raised his eyebrows. He was almost always “daddy”. Not in front of her friends, apparently.
“Got all your stuff?” Jim asked.
“Yup, all set.”
In the car, Leonard turned in his seat to talk to Jo.
“Baby, it looked to me like you did the lion’s share of the work on that project,” he said. “What do you think?”
Joanna shrugged. “I did most of the writing part,” she said. “But I don’t mind. And Ella’s going to do the oral part of the report, too. I think it’s even enough.”
Leonard glanced at Jim, each thinking the same thing…No, it’s not.
“Well, okay, Baby. As long as you don’t feel like Ella took advantage of you,” Leonard said.
“No…no, I don’t think that,” Jo replied, though the pitch of her voice made her sound less than convincing.
They headed home, the late afternoon still gray and overcast.
“Are we doing anything else today?” Jo asked.
“We don’t have anything else planned,” Jim replied. “Maybe just going to the food store. Why, sweetie? Got something in mind?”
“No, not really. I, um…I have something I want to talk to you about,” she said hesitantly. She looked up, meeting Jim’s eyes in the rearview mirror, then looking away quickly, a light blush blooming across her pretty face.
“Who, Baby?” Leonard asked. “Me or Jim?”
“Um….well, both of you, I think.”
Leonard and Jim exchanged a quick look; both wondering what was on her mind.
“Okay, Darlin’,” Leonard said. “We’ll talk.”
Back at home, Jo brought her backpack into her room and stayed in there for a while. She loved her room…it was a place of refuge for her. It was quiet, and she could just sprawl on her bed or on her floor with a book or a notebook, or with any of the craft kits she loved. Sometimes she put on music, sometimes she just sat in the quiet. Unlike a lot of kids her age, she didn’t have a TV in her room. She probably could’ve if she’d asked. But her dad had never offered it, and she really never wanted it.
Out there, it was often loud and a little overwhelming. Not quite as bad as when she was younger, but still sometimes it was just all so much. And after a day at school, or like today, when she was at a classmate’s house and feeling a little out of sorts because of it, it was such a relief to be able to come back to her room where she could relax.
Usually.
Now, though, as she spent some time with Jack, nervous thoughts raced through her mind. She was worried that Uncle Jim wouldn’t like the idea that she had…and she was worried that maybe her father wouldn’t like the idea. And then she thought that maybe she should talk to her father first. And then she thought maybe she should just write a letter and leave it for them to find, like Janie did the last time she was angry at her parents. Except Jo wasn’t angry at all.
She was just nervous.
And suddenly, a memory from about five years ago arose in her mind. She was just a little kid then, and still confused over what it meant to have her daddy and Jim love each other. She remembered the breakfast that Uncle Jim had made - his second try at cheesy grits - and she remembered being held on her father’s lap as Uncle Jim had explained that he was going to move in, and they were all going to live together, because he loved both of them.
Jo wondered if Uncle Jim had been as nervous as she was now.
Probably not, she decided. Uncle Jim wasn’t the kind of person to really be nervous about anything.
That was so long ago now. She could hardly remember a time when Uncle Jim wasn’t part of their family.
But…he wasn’t her uncle. It’d worked for a while, but that wasn’t who he was to her. She just hoped that they both agreed. She didn’t want to hurt her father’s feelings.
Deciding that she’d dawdled enough, Jo pulled her door open. Her bare feet making little noise on the tile, she made her way down the hall toward the family room where Uncle Jim and her father were lounging on the couch together, watching some type of news program.
“Here she comes,” Jim said quietly. Leonard nodded. They were both curious to know what Jo wanted to talk to them about, but she’d headed for her room when they got home, and had been in there for a little while. When Leonard checked on her, he’d found her sitting in the middle of her bed, brushing Jack. He knew she needed her space, but he was very curious to know what was on her mind. She’d assured him that everything was fine and she’d be out in a little while, so he’d left her to it, to Jack’s feline delight.
Now, though, as she stood uncertainly in front of them, Jim and Leonard shifted to make room for her, and she happily joined them, giving them each a kiss and a hug.
“So, Jo…you going to tell us what’s goin’ on in that little head of yours?” Leonard asked with a smile.
“Yeah,” she said, nodding. “I am. I was thinking…Uncle Jim is not my uncle.”
“That’s true,” Jim said. “I’m not your uncle the same way I’m Janie’s uncle.”
“So, um…I don’t think I should call you Uncle Jim anymore. It just doesn’t feel like that fits who you are to me,” Jo said seriously. She’d held Jim’s eyes as long as she could, but ended up looking away. When she did, Leonard caught the barely-concealed hurt in Jim’s eyes, and he had to stop himself from jumping in. Jo had a point, he was sure, and it wasn’t to hurt Jim’s feelings.
“Oh…uh, okay, Jo,” Jim said, doing his best to keep his voice unaffected. “You can just call me Jim. Or…is there something else you want to call me instead?” he asked, reluctant to suggest anything and wondering where this was coming from.
“You know my heritage project?” she asked, looking up again.
Jim blinked, surprised at the non-sequitor, but nodded. “Yup…you did a lot of writing for the paper.”
Joanna nodded. “One of the things we had to do was look for words that were interesting to us that our penpals used, but aren’t in English. And you know what word was interesting to me?”
“No, what, sweetie?” Jim asked, confused, but willing to play along.
“Kirk. Did you know that kirk means ‘church’ in Gaelic? Is your family from Scotland, a long time ago?”
“Uh, well, yes.” Jim answered, eyes finding Bones, who was looking just as puzzled. “My dad’s side is from Scotland. I don’t know if I still have relatives there, or anything but I might.”
Jo nodded, then turned her attention to her father. “Daddy, I know you’re not married to Jim, so I hope you won’t mind…but I was thinking….since Uncle Jim’s background is Scottish…and since you’re not my uncle,” she looked back at Jim. “And you don’t feel like just an uncle. You’re…like a parent. My other parent. I thought, if it’s okay…I could call you oide.”
“And what does oide mean?” Leonard asked her.
“Step-father,” she said. She looked up at both of them, pink in the face. “My pen-pal has a mother, and a step-father she calls oide. And…I kinda feel like I do, too.”
She was looking at them both nervously, their silence making her unsure about her request, and her flush deepened.
“Is…is that okay?”
Jim swallowed hard and blinked quickly, taking a second to dash a hand across his eyes and try to get a grip on his composure. Looking back at the little girl, he opened his arms to her, and she went happily, leaning into him and wrapping her arms around him. Jim held her, one hand cupping her head, the other around her back. He closed his eyes when he felt her rest her head on his shoulder.
“It’s perfect,” Jim said. “I love that word. I’m so lucky you want to call me that, Joanna.”
“I love you, oide,” she said. “It’s just more of what you are.”
Jim swallowed again, and took a breath that shuddered a little, then released her. He gently eased her back into her father’s lap, then excused himself from the room.
Jo turned to look at her father, and found that he was looking at her with soft eyes and a loving smile. She noticed that he was looking a little teary, too…and he was, as much moved by Jim’s reaction as he was his daughter’s simple, innocent sentiment. Jo leaned in to him, kissing his cheek.
“You don’t mind, do you Daddy?”
“No, Baby. I don’t mind at all. I agree with Jim…it’s perfect.”
Joanna nodded. “I didn’t mean to make anyone cry,” she said, happy that her suggestion had gone over well, but a little perplexed at the outcome.
“Oh, they’re the best kind of tears, Darlin’. Happy tears. Jim loves you, and you just made him… made both of us…” he amended, “so, so happy.”
<---Back to Part 2A To Part 3 -->
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