Kirk/Bones Fic: No Good Deed, Part 2 of 2
Title: No Good Deed, Part 2 of 2
Author: Caera1996
Rating: PG
W/C: Part 2: 6,220
Disclaimer: Not mine.
Summary: Jim attempts a simple home repair, and ends up having to deal with the very things that he fears the most. Hurt after a fall, he completely relies on Bones to get him through the terror-inducing medical phobia he’s had to deal with since he was a child. Part of the TBoPE/LAWG verse, but also stands alone.
Note: A heartfelt thanks to mijan and kel_1970, who gave their expertise and knowledge to the medical and technical aspects of the Paramedic/ambulance and hospital parts. A special thanks to Mijan, who actually wrote some of the Paramedic/ambulance parts. I was the final editor, though, so any mistakes or inconsistencies are ultimately my doing.
A short while later, they arrived at the hospital. It wasn’t Leonard’s hospital, and Jim knew it. Right away he was concerned about being separated, but Leonard calmed that fear before Jim could get worked up over it. “I’ll be with you, Jim,” he promised as Randy got ready to transfer him out of the ambulance. “No one’s going to make me go anywhere.”
Despite his reassurance, Jim kept a vice-like grip on Leonard as he was wheeled into the E.R. He could see Jim’s breath fogging the oxygen mask he still wore as his heart rate picked up again. As they walked through the department, Leonard looked around. It seemed as if it was pretty quiet, for which he was grateful. The quicker Jim could be seen, the better.
They were directed to a partitioned off cubicle, a nurse listening to the run-down Randy was giving her while the gurney was positioned next to a bed. Leonard hoped he was cluing her in on Jim’s phobia as well.
Jim watched wide-eyed as people surrounded him, nudging Leonard out of the way. His rapid breathing kept the mask fogged, and he’d started shaking again. The nurse looked down at their connected hands.
“Sir, if you could please back away…” the nurse started.
“No,” Jim shouted, panic in his voice. “No, Bones, don’t let me go…don’t leave me, please!” His breaths were becoming gasps and he trembled in fits as all the calm they’d worked for was gone in an instant.
“I’m not, Jim, I’m not. I’m right here,” Leonard replied. He looked up as more people joined them, hearing the commotion, including a doctor.
“Sir, you’re going to be fine,” he said, moving to stand at Jim’s head. “You need to just stay calm.” He looked around at the people surrounding Jim’s gurney. “Let’s move him on three.” He nodded at Leonard, looking down at their connected hands. “And that’s fine as long as he stays calm.”
Leonard nodded, and the doctor continued, “Okay, on three… Why is he not in a collar?”
They transferred Jim to the bed and then Randy replied, “He panicked - couldn’t handle it. Keep Leonard with him to keep him calm.” He tossed off a little salute to them that Leonard hardly noticed, he was so focused on Jim. “Good luck, guys.”
“Thanks,” Leonard replied distractedly.
Jim tried to focus on what was happening around him, and he heard the doctor order that something be given to him that he didn’t recognize. Jim wanted to scream, STOP DRUGGING ME!, but he couldn’t catch his breath. Instead he squeezed Bones’ hand, catching his eyes.
“Bones…”
“It’s okay, Jim. You’re not allergic to that. It’s just for pain.”
Things happened pretty fast after that. People moved around them, working around Leonard’s presence, to check Jim’s pulse, blood pressure and respiration. Noting that there was the possibility of internal bleeding, the E.R. doctor moved to palpitate Jim’s abdomen, checking for soreness or guarding that could indicate an internal problem.
At the first clinical touch on his midsection, Jim completely froze up, all of his muscles going rigid and he visibly shook. “No, no stop!” Jim begged, his voice muffled by the oxygen mask that was completely fogged by his fast breathing. “Don’t touch me, don’t! Bones…”
“Jim, you’re okay. It’s okay,” Leonard said. He could hear Jim’s harsh breathing in the mask, and knew that a full-blown panic attack was imminent.
“Are you in pain?” The doctor asked, taken aback by Jim’s reaction.
Jim panted behind the mask. “No, no…I’m not hurt…just don’t, please, don’t touch me…” The doctor glanced at Leonard over Jim’s prone form, and removed his hands. There was obviously another issue going on here.
“Take the mask off, please, please, I…” Jim let go of Leonard’s hand and clawed at the mask. “I can’t breathe! Bones, please, help me! I want to get up. I need to get up now!”
His gasping took on a pained quality, and Leonard barely heard the doctor ask for a sedative. Ignoring everyone else in the room, Leonard quickly took the mask off of him, removing it completely and letting it drop to the floor. He took Jim’s hand again, holding him tightly, feeling him shake as he leaned over him. He cocooned Jim with his arms to provide a safe, quiet space between the two he could focus on, and spoke to him soothingly. “You’re okay, Jim…shh. You’re hyperventilating again. Take a deep breath with me, hold it…..let it out slow, that’s right. Do it again…and again…I know you’re scared, but you’re safe here. I’m here, not leaving, and you’re safe.”
“Bones,” Jim said, his voice tight with unease. “I don’t want anyone to touch me and I want to get up.” A breath hitched in his chest and he swallowed, closing his eyes. “Please, please, get me out of here.”
Leonard’s heart broke at Jim’s plea, and he gently stroked Jim’s hair away from his forehead. “I know you want to go, Darlin’. I know. We gotta let them fix your arm, first. And you can get up soon. Very soon. We just have to know your neck and spine are okay. I promise.” He brushed his lips across Jim’s cheek. “I’m so sorry this is so hard.”
“Not your fault,” Jim whispered.
The doctor paused before administering the sedative, watching as Jim calmed, and seeing the effect of it on the monitors. He knew a panic attack when he saw it. He exchanged a glance with the neuro consult who was called down and made the decision to clear the room of everyone but a single nurse. It was obvious that this patient needed some additional consideration and a lot of people would only make him feel crowded. They waited a few moments, until Jim was breathing more or less normally and Leonard straightened up.
“Okay, feeling better, sir?” the doctor asked quietly.
“Yeah,” Jim whispered, closing his eyes as they watered. Leonard gently wiped the tears from Jim’s lashes.
The neuro consult moved in and ran Jim through the same checks that they’d done in the field, and a couple of other basic diagnostics to determine if there was a problem they couldn’t see. After a few minutes, he stepped away, and Leonard felt Jim release a pent up breath of relief.
“Jim, I think your spine and neck are fine, but we’re going to send you for an x-ray, just to confirm, then we’ll be able to fix that shoulder, and let you up, and I think that’ll help. What do you think?”
“Yes,” Jim said. “But I just…I just really need Bones.”
“Okay…he can stay with you most of the time,” the doctor replied. “Call me when you have the films,” he said to the E.R. doctor, then slipped out of the room.
“Jim, there was a note that there was blood in your mouth. I was pressing on your abdomen to see if I could feel anything that might be causing internal bleeding. Can I finish that?”
“I bit my tongue when I fell,” Jim replied, closing his eyes again.
The doctor took a penlight out of his pocket and clicked it on. “Can you open your mouth so I can see?”
Leonard backed away to give the doctor room, and Jim obliged. It only took a minute to see there was a laceration on his tongue. Not serious, it’d already stopped bleeding.
“Okay, I see that you did cut your tongue. But you fell from pretty high. It’d be really good if I could just finish checking you. May I?”
Jim hesitated and opened his eyes to look at Leonard. Funnily enough, this part, as simple as it seemed, - having a doctor palpitate his abdomen even during physical exams - was always a problem for Jim.
The look in Jim’s eyes said everything Leonard needed to hear. It was too much for him right now. He was feeling too out of control, too vulnerable, too scared, and too ashamed of that fear.
“No,” Leonard replied. “Let’s hold off on that.”
“Sir…”
“Doctor,” Leonard replied. “I’m a doctor. I know the risks, Jim knows the risks. Maybe later when he’s feeling a little better and his shoulder’s been tended to. In the meantime, I’m not leaving, and I know what to look for.”
The E.R. doctor tried again, because he had to, and Leonard respected him for that. “Doctor…”
“McCoy,” Leonard filled in. “Leonard McCoy.”
“Dr. Timmins,” he said, introducing himself. “He has extreme bruising across his side…”
“He landed on his side,” Leonard said. “I’m fairly certain he bruised his ribs. That’s the decision Doctor. Not now.”
Timmins pressed his lips together. “Jim, can you confirm this is what you want? To wait for the rest of the physical exam, against medical advice?”
“Yes,” Jim replied unhesitatingly.
“Ok, well, let’s get you to x-ray and we’ll go from there.”
Leonard took a couple of small, disposable blankets off a nearby cart and unfolded them over Jim, knowing that he would feel less exposed that way. “Thanks,” he said quietly.
“No problem, Darlin’,” Leonard said. He took Jim’s hand and walked beside the bed as he was wheeled down to x-ray. In the room, Leonard spoke quietly to him, telling him he’d be right in the control room, that he could see him. Jim was okay with separating from Leonard for this. He lay quietly, eyes closed, as the tech got the images he needed, including a couple specifically for his ribs and shoulder, which was getting more and more uncomfortable.
When they were done, Leonard came back into the room and gently brushed his hand over Jim’s forehead, pushing his hair back. “Darlin’, you did good. You hangin’ in there?”
Jim sighed. “Yeah. My arm hurts like a bitch and I really want to sit up, though.”
“I know you do. Soon,” Leonard promised again.
They went back to the E.R., and moments later were joined by the doctor providing the neuro consult. “Okay, Jim…everything looks okay with your neck and spine, so let’s get this off of you.”
“Finally!” Jim exclaimed, so relieved that he would finally be released. The doctor removed the tape that was securing him down, and then removed the towels.
Jim rolled his eyes at Leonard, “Told you I was fine,” he said, trying not to sound accusatory, but so much of what he’d gone through could’ve been avoided if they’d just listened to him. It was frustrating.
“Just wanted to make sure, Darlin’,” Leonard said easily. By now, he was very familiar with Jim’s moods when he was dealing with medical stuff. He swung between frightened and belligerent and apologetic and everything in between. Feeling vulnerable, feeling scared, feeling out of control…it all affected him and made him unpredictable. But Leonard understood. The only thing he cared about was that Jim was okay.
“You ready to sit up?” the doctor asked. “Or are you comfortable as you are?”
“I want to sit up,” Jim said. “Now please.”
“Okay, we have to get the backboard out from under you…”
A couple of techs came to help remove the backboard, and the pain from that motion had Jim clenching his jaw as his stomach threatened to rebel. Suddenly bathed in clammy sweat, his vision nearly blacked out before he managed to get a hold of himself. When he did come around, he was surprised to see that he was clutching Bone’s whole arm, pressing his face to him as sounds of pain were forced out of him.
He’d never experienced pain like this…like a red-hot poker was being jammed into the joint, with all the wrongness of actually feeling that a bone was out of place…it was nearly overwhelming for a couple of seconds.
Dimly, he heard Bones talking to him, gently petting his hair, and he tried to focus on that. Gradually, he came back to himself as the pain receded back to a hot, aching throb.
“Oh, God,” Jim groaned. “It hurts so bad…it’s getting worse.”
Dr. Timmins joined them as Jim panted, trying to get the pain under control.
“An orthopedist will be coming to see you…he’ll be here any minute and he’ll fix that shoulder. In the meantime,” he continued, turning to a nurse, “let’s do what we can to help you with pain management.” He signed the chart and the nurse prepared the medication to be introduced via his IV.
The effect was quick, for which Leonard was grateful, and he felt Jim’s body relax a little as the medication worked to take the edge off.
“You feeling up to finishing the exam?” Timmins asked when it was obvious Jim was calmed enough to be rational.
“No, thank you,” Jim said.
Well, at least he’s polite about it, Leonard thought to himself.
“Mr. Kirk…”
“No, thank you,” he repeated. “Bones, I want to sit up.” Leonard hit the control on the bed that raised the head, bring Jim up so that he was no longer flat on his back. He winced as the change in position shifted the weight of his arm, and Leonard quickly grabbed another pillow to help support him.
Sighing, the doctor checked everything else he could, and satisfied that Jim’s numbers were steady and didn’t indicate a problem, let it go. “You’re still breathing a little shallowly.”
“My ribs still hurt,” Jim said, sounding like he was leaving “idiot” out of it by the skin of his teeth. Only the way he was still clutching Leonard’s hand indicated how he was really feeling, despite the insolent tone.
“Well, the orthopedist will address that too. Can I listen to your chest again?”
Jim nodded, and the doctor listened to both sides.
“Everything sounds fine, but we can put you on some oxygen….”
“No, no,” Jim said quickly. “I’m fine.”
Rolling his eyes, Timmins turned to the nurse, giving her instructions on what to be aware of for this highly strung patient, and Leonard narrowed his eyes slightly. So Jim wasn’t the easiest patient…who were they to judge him at all for the way he felt? It wasn’t their place.
“Bones,” Jim said quietly.
Abandoning his train of thought, he turned his attention to Jim.
“You should call Aurelan or Sam…and we don’t have a car to get home.”
“You’re right. I’ll call now,” he said, fishing his cellphone out of his pocket. Leonard made a quick call, explained what had happened, insisted that Jim was really was ok and that it wasn’t necessary for everyone to come to the hospital, made sure they didn’t mind keeping Joanna tonight, and arranged for Sam and Aurelan to work together to drop his car off at the hospital - while sparing a moment to be grateful that they had an extra set of their keys.
“Thanks so much, Sam. Just don’t forget to text me the space number so I can find the car. No…we won’t need anything when we get home. Jim’ll just need to rest for a day or so. Okay….thanks…. goodbye.”
Hanging up, he turned back to Jim, feeling such a rush of sympathy and love for him. Laying back on the slightly reclined bed, his knees pulled up a little in an effort to ease the ache from his ribs, eyes closed, his complexion didn’t have any of his normal healthy color. He looked washed out and miserable and still in pain, if the furrow between his brows was any indicator.
Alone for the first time since this whole horrible thing started, Leonard came over to him and gently wrapped his arms around him, giving him a careful, tender hug.
“My poor Darlin’,” he said. “I’m so sorry this happened to you.”
Still hurting, still scared, and feeling overwhelmed, Jim let out a laugh that sounded more like a sob and pressed his face to Leonard’s shoulder, holding on to him with his good arm. They stayed like that for a few moments, Leonard stroking his hair and giving his neck a squeeze, just holding him and thanking whoever was listening that holding him was still possible after that fall. He closed his eyes against the thought of what could’ve happened, unable to even approach it as a “what if”.
Jim turned his head, still taking comfort from being held like that. “That’s the first and last time I ever try to fix anything, Bones,” he said.
Leonard pulled away, and Jim wiped his eyes. “That’s fine with me, Jim. We’ll find a fix-it guy and keep him on retainer.”
Leonard drew over a chair and sat beside the bed, holding Jim’s hand and bringing it up to his lips. They sat quietly for a few minutes, his eyes never leaving Jim’s face as he sat there, only slightly reclined, with his eyes closed, trying to relax. After a short while, though, he squirmed slightly.
“Bones,” he said, opening his eyes. “I really have to go to the bathroom.”
Leonard took stock of Jim’s situation. He was still in his jeans and socks, but his shoes had been left at the house. He was shirtless, left arm immobilized, and he hadn’t been on his feet in a couple of hours by now, and had some pretty potent pain medication in him. Leonard knew that really the best thing to do in this situation is get him out of his jeans, put him in a robe and get him a bedpan. He also knew that would never fly and even just suggesting it would be a bad idea. So, despite the fact that he knew Dr. Timmins wouldn’t approve, Leonard simply nodded and stood up.
“Okay, Darlin’. We’ll just have to do this nice and easy. Let me do the work until it’s time for you to stand.” Jim nodded, and Leonard slid a hand behind his upper back. He levered Jim into sitting up, watching him wince as he used sore muscles to hold himself up. “You good?”
“Yeah,” Jim said tightly.
“Alright, now your legs.” Again doing the work, he pulled Jim’s legs around until he was sitting sideways, then he lowered the bed so he could plant his sock-clad feet firmly. “Let me find you some slippers.”
Jim waited as Leonard looked around, then made a quick trip to the nurses’ station. He came back with a pair of disposable slippers in hand and bent to put them on Jim.
“How do you feel sitting up?” Leonard asked.
“Really sore, but not dizzy or anything. God, Bones…my arm is screwed up forever, isn’t it? There’s no way something that hurts this bad can ever really heal.”
“No…no, hey…it’s bad now, and it’ll take a while to heal, but it’ll be back to normal in a few weeks. We’ll make some appointments with Mark - remember him? - and get you back in physical therapy for a few sessions. You’re young…you’ll heal up perfectly. Okay?”
“Yeah, okay,” Jim replied, as always trusting Leonard completely. “I really gotta go, Bones.”
“Okay, Jim.” Taking the elbow of the uninjured arm Leonard helped him stand.
Jim groaned, but indicated that he was all right. Leonard grabbed the IV pole, and keeping one hand on Jim, together they made their way to the restroom closest to them.
“Do you need help?” Leonard asked as Jim stepped into the bathroom and wheeled his IV pole in behind him.
“No, I should be okay,” he replied.
Leonard wasn’t sure about that, but he wasn’t going to push it. “I’m right here. Don’t lock it, okay?”
He stood outside the door, deflecting a couple of people as he waited for Jim. After a couple of minutes, he knocked on the door. “Everything okay?”
Frustrated, Jim sighed heavily and then opened the door. “No,” he admitted. “I do need help.”
Leonard slipped into the bathroom and locked the door.
“I can’t manage the buttons with one hand,” he said, flushing.
Leonard noticed his uncharacteristic blush but just ignored it, undoing the buttons on his fly for him. He understood. It was the helplessness that was causing Jim’s discomfiture. So instead of saying anything about it, he simply told Jim to call him if he needed help when he was finished, and slipped out of the bathroom.
Once they were settled back into waiting for the ortho doctor, it was only a few more minutes before he showed up, followed by a tech who moved behind the bed and unlocked the brakes to make the bed portable.
“Jim Kirk, I’m Dr. Hudson. Did a number on your shoulder, there, huh?”
“Yeah,” Jim replied. “Is it bad? And what about my ribs?”
“Well, it’s dislocated, so that’s not good. But there’s no other damage to the bones, so that is good. You will have also pulled ligaments and muscles, but this type of injury usually doesn’t have particularly difficult lasting effects. It needs to be reduced - set the shoulder back in place - and you’ll be in a sling for a couple of weeks, but you should recover nicely. Your ribs are bruised, but nothing’s broken. You may feel sore for a couple of days, but that’ll fade. A respiratory therapist will come by to see you to make sure your breathing isn’t too constricted, but I can hear and see you’re already doing okay, so that shouldn’t be a problem.”
“Finally some good news,” Jim muttered, relieved that his ribs weren’t going to cause him any more issues. He was sore, but he could breathe much easier than when he was strapped down, and he wondered how much of his breathlessness was because of his injury, and how much of it was because of his panic.
The doctor nodded, “Yes, you’re lucky you don’t have to deal with broken ribs too. So, let’s get you moved to a procedure room to set that shoulder, and sir,” he said, turning his attention to Leonard, “you can take a seat out in the waiting room….”
“What? No, no, wait!” Jim cried as the tech started pushing his bed. “Bones comes with me!”
Hudson paused, and Leonard knew exactly what he was thinking, though Jim did not. Not yet anyway.
“I’m a doctor, Dr. Hudson. I know what to expect,” Leonard said.
Jim’s eyes widened in alarm at that. “What to expect? Why? What should you expect? Bones?”
“Let’s get settled in the other room, and I’ll explain what we’re going to do to fix that shoulder, okay?” Hudson said, catching Leonard’s eye.
“Bones…”
“I’m coming, Jim.” He turned to look at Hudson. “I’m coming. And I’m staying.”
Hudson nodded, and led them out. Terrified by what was coming, by not knowing what was coming, Jim reached out for Leonard and caught the edge of his shirt. Leonard took his hand, pressing his lips together as he felt him shaking.
His bed was parked in a procedure room that was set up for what was going to happen, giving them a little more privacy, but doing nothing to calm Jim’s fears.
Hudson rolled a stool over to Jim’s bedside and took a seat to explain how he was going to reduce the shoulder.
Jim seemed to shrink in on himself a little, looking anywhere but at the doctor and wishing that he’d back up a little.
“So, Jim, basically what we have to do is work the arm so that the ball at the end of bone slips back into place in the joint. Of course we’re going to numb the area with a nerve block, and give you muscle relaxants to counteract the way the muscle seizes up when there’s an injury like this, and probably a sedative to help you keep calm and relaxed. It won’t take long to fix it, and then we’ll put you in a sling and send you on your way. Any questions?”
Jim mutely shook his head, though he looked like he was going to throw up.
“Okay, let’s get this bed down…” Hudson looked over them at a nurse who’d joined them and she used the bed controls to bring the back down, laying Jim flat on his back.
“Wait, wait…” Jim said shakily, struggling to sit himself back up. “I don’t want this…I don’t…”
“Sir, you need to lie back…” the nurse started.
“Give us a second,” Leonard interrupted. “Please.”
The nurse backed off, and Jim turned his head to look at Leonard. “Is this going to hurt?” he asked in a small voice.
The doctor checked a sigh. “You’ll have a nerve block and you’ll be sedated….”
“Don’t talk around it,” Leonard said, knowing what Jim needed. It wasn’t pain he was afraid of. It was not knowing what was going to happen to him. “Be honest, so he knows what to expect.”
Jim looked at the ortho doctor who held Leonard’s gaze for a moment before shifting his attention to him.
“Yes,” he replied simply. “The medications will help. But it will hurt while we’re manipulating the arm to get everything back in place. You’re going to have to stay relaxed so that you don’t tense against what I’m going to be doing, and it’s probably going to feel like I’m doing more damage. But once the ball is back in the socket, it’ll feel so much better immediately, you’ll be amazed.”
“So what are you going to do?” Jim asked, wanting more information.
“I’m going to take your arm by the wrist, here, and pull, and hold your elbow here, to help guide the arm back into position. Like I said, it is going to hurt, but it won’t last long, and it’ll feel better right away. But first, we’re going to inject lidocaine directly into the joint, and that will help a lot. So…are you ready to get started?”
Jim swallowed and blew out a slow breath. “Yeah,” he said quietly. “But no sedatives. The nerve block is fine, muscle relaxants are fine, but not sedatives. Understand?”
“Mr. Kirk, that’s not really--”
“He tends to react badly to them,” Leonard broke in. “Drops his bp, depresses his respiration. It really would be better to not use them.”
“I’m not making any promises, but I’ll do my best. Lucky for you, I’m good at my job. Okay…first let’s get this off of you,” Hudson said. He and a nurse worked to gently remove the brace that had been keeping Jim’s arm stable while he breathed slowly and deeply, his lips pressed together against the pain. His sweaty grip on Bones’ hand tightened as his brow furrowed, and Leonard could do nothing but hold on just as tightly.
Once it was off, the bed was adjusted so that Jim was lying flat on his back. He knew what the next step was, so he kept his eyes on Leonard’s.
“Okay, Jim. The nurse is going to spray your arm right here,” he touched a finger to where he was going to insert the needle for the nerve block, “and it’s going to get really cold, and then you’ll feel a big poke. Ready?”
“Yeah, just do it,” Jim said tightly, turning his head away from them to lock eyes with Leonard. He jumped at the sound of the spray can, topically numbing the skin at his shoulder.
“Big poke, stay still for me,” Hudson murmured. He pushed the needle into joint, depressing the plunger and depositing the lidocaine solution directly to the area. Jim bore it silently, squeezing his eyes closed and clenching his jaw until the needle was withdrawn. It took several seconds, but finally it was done and out, and Jim let out a huge breath. They administered the muscle relaxant as well, and then the doctor stepped back as the nurse made notes on his chart.
“Okay, we’ll wait a couple of minutes, and then we’ll get started. How are you doing there, Jim?”
“Fine,” he said shortly. “I just want it done.”
“I know. Can you feel me touching your shoulder here?” the doctor asked.
Jim hesitated before answering. It was a weird sensation. He could feel pressure from where the doctor pressed, but he couldn’t feel the actual touch itself.
“Okay, good. We’ll give it just another minute.”
“You doin’ okay Darlin’?” Leonard asked quietly. He gently wiped sweat from Jim’s brow.
“Feel a little weird, kinda tired,” Jim admitted, obviously concentrating to make the words clear.
“That’s just the muscle relaxants. You’re fine.”
Jim blinked slowly. “Can’t feel my arm.”
“It’s still there. You’re doin’ fine.”
“Okay, Jim. I’m going to take hold of your wrist and elbow. You just stay relaxed and don’t fight me. Let me move your arm, okay?”
“Bones…”
“Just look at me, Darlin’, hold on to me,” Leonard said. He looked into those blue eyes, cloudy with the meds he’d been given, but remained aware of what the doctor was doing. As the doctor gently rotated Jim’s arm into the position he wanted, Jim gasped in pain, his back arching slightly in an attempt to counteract the movement.
“Oh, God….mmmmm, ow, shit….” Jim groaned, he squeezed his eyes closed, and felt a clammy sweat bathe his body again. The doctor didn’t let up, though, pushing his arm up, his grasp on his wrist and at his elbow unyielding, until he couldn’t take it anymore. “No, no stop…please, fuck!” Tears sprang to his eyes as he tensed against the doctor’s hold, hot knives of shocking pain slicing through his shoulder.
“Just a bit more, you need to stay relaxed and stay still, Jim,” Hudson said, freezing in his position until Jim could relax again. He caught Leonard’s eyes, and raised his brows.
Leonard got the message. Do something or he’d order the sedatives.
“Jim, Jim…Darlin’, look at me, look at me,” Leonard said, placing a hand on the side of his face.
“Bones, it hurts so bad,” Jim panted. “I can’t take it.”
“You need to relax, Jim…it hurts this much because you’re fighting him. Take a deep breath with me, and hold it, okay? Ready…inhale…..Now let it out slowly, and relax your stomach, and relax your neck, and relax your legs…and now your arms. Let’s do it again…”
Jim did his best to stay concentrated on Bones, listening to him, following his lead and gradually he managed to relax as some of the pain ebbed away. He blinked, trying to clear his eyes of the tears. He could feel the doctor again forcing his arm into position.
It got harder and harder to stand until he couldn’t take it silently anymore. A grunt of pain forced itself from behind his teeth, and he let go of Bones’ hand, twisting his grip in his shirt instead. His legs moved restlessly as he tried to deal with the discomfort as it got worse and worse, the pressure nearly unbearable…until something inside jerked into place with a wet snap!.
Jim let out a scream…mostly of surprise but also because of the bright flash of momentary agony…and the next thing he knew, he could feel his gorge rising in his throat. He didn’t even get a chance to warn Bones before he threw up all over him, gasping as the convulsions pulled on his sore ribs, and the room darkened as his consciousness threatened to leave him.
He held on, though, keeping himself anchored to the light in the room by the barest of threads. And as he came back to himself, he could hear Bones reassuring him that everything was ok, that it was over. Calming further as he realized the pain he’d been in was so greatly lessened, his harsh gasping gradually shifted to regular breathing, and he registered the sour smell of his own vomit.
“Oh, God…I’m so sorry,” he croaked, his throat burning as he blinked teary eyes, his body shaking in reaction to everything he’d been through, and feeling so very weak.
“It’s not a big deal, Jim, really. We’ll just clean up a bit, get you a sling, and get the hell out of here. How does that sound?”
“Yeah, get me out of here, please, Bones,” Jim said, teeth chattering.
“Okay, Darlin’, just relax and I’ll take care of the paperwork and then we’ll go.”
And that’s exactly what they did. True to his word, Leonard got Jim out of there as quickly as he could, prescription for pain medication and muscle relaxants in his hand along with samples to hold them over until he could fill the prescription. It was a short drive home in the car Sam and Aurelan had dropped off, and before long he was helping Jim to strip down so he could lie down and be as comfortable as possible.
“You’re going to be pretty sore for a few days,” Leonard said, handing Jim a couple of pills. Jim swallowed them with some water, then let himself lay back on the pillows, closing his eyes. Bones had so carefully helped him lie down, surrounding him with pillows to support the arm that was now in a sling, and keep him off his side that was bruised and sore. He’d done nothing but take care of him all day. “So you just try to stay relaxed as much as you can.”
“Okay,” Jim said. He felt sleepy, and fairly comfortable for the most part. He looked away for a moment, overcome with the knowledge of how loved he was, and how grateful he was for all the care Bones had taken with him today. “Bones, I just wanted to say how much I love you, and thank you for…”
“Jim,” Leonard said, leaning down to kiss him. “You don’t have to thank me for anything. I love you too.”
Jim smiled at that, feeling the depth of that simple phrase. “Will you lie down with me?”
“Yes, I just want to call Sam and let them know we’re home and you’re fine, and see how Jo is. I’ll be right back. Will you be okay?”
“Yeah, I’m fine. Go on, I’ll be here.”
“Okay. Be right back,” Leonard said again.
He left Jim to rest in their bedroom and hurried down the stairs. When they got home, he’d noticed that someone, probably the neighbor, Rob, had picked up Jim’s shoes and left them by the front door. He was grateful for that, and for all of the help Rob had provided. They’d have to invite his family over for dinner, or something like that, Leonard thought as he opened the front door and returned Jim’s sneakers to their customary space just inside the entry way.
A quick call to Sam assured him and Jo that Jim was doing just fine, and that although painful, his injuries hadn’t been serious, thank goodness. He could hear tears in Jo’s voice as he assured her that he really was okay. At ten, she’d become such an empathetic, kind-hearted child, even the thought of someone she loved getting hurt was enough to upset her.
“Jim’s really okay, Baby. His arm is going to be sore for a while, but he’s not even in a cast. The only reason we called an ambulance was because we needed to make sure his neck was okay, and it is. He’s fine.”
“Maybe I should come home anyway, Daddy.”
“Joanna, if you want to come home, you come. Aurelan will drive you. But Baby, all Jim’s going to do today is sleep. The doctor gave him some medicine that’s going to make him tired, so he just needs peace and quiet.”
“Mmm…well, ok. Maybe I’ll stay here tonight and come home tomorrow,” Joanna said, feeling better about staying with Janie and playing there now that she’d talked to her father.
“Okay, Jo. That’s fine. If you change your mind, you come on home, okay?”
“Okay, Daddy. Tell oide I love him.”
“I will Darlin’. See you tomorrow.”
“Bye Baby.”
Closing everything up downstairs, and satisfied that Jo was okay at Sam’s, Leonard made his way back upstairs. He could hear the tv droning quietly in their bedroom, and the sight that greeted him pulled at his heart.
Surrounded by pillows, covered by the blanket they kept on their bed, Jim lay with his eyes closed, looking the most comfortable he’d seemed all day. It had been such a stressful, frightening day for him, it was no wonder he was exhausted, and Leonard had no doubt the medication he’d taken a little while ago was probably already working on him as well.
He changed quietly, and then carefully eased himself onto the bed, not wanting to jostle or wake Jim, but feeling like he just needed to be as close to him as possible. After watching Jim go through everything today, and seeing his responses to the things that terrified him the most, Leonard was still feeling very protective.
Jim opened his eyes when he felt the bed dip as Leonard joined him, and smiled slightly. Leonard lay down next to him on his right, uninjured side, and gently put his arm around him. Jim sighed as he lay against him.
“Thank you for taking care of me Bones. Even when I…freaked out. I…I don’t know. I couldn’t have gone through that without you.”
Leonard kissed him softly. “Nothing to thank me for…just promise me…never do anything like that again.”
“Promise. Seriously.”
Author: Caera1996
Rating: PG
W/C: Part 2: 6,220
Disclaimer: Not mine.
Summary: Jim attempts a simple home repair, and ends up having to deal with the very things that he fears the most. Hurt after a fall, he completely relies on Bones to get him through the terror-inducing medical phobia he’s had to deal with since he was a child. Part of the TBoPE/LAWG verse, but also stands alone.
Note: A heartfelt thanks to mijan and kel_1970, who gave their expertise and knowledge to the medical and technical aspects of the Paramedic/ambulance and hospital parts. A special thanks to Mijan, who actually wrote some of the Paramedic/ambulance parts. I was the final editor, though, so any mistakes or inconsistencies are ultimately my doing.
A short while later, they arrived at the hospital. It wasn’t Leonard’s hospital, and Jim knew it. Right away he was concerned about being separated, but Leonard calmed that fear before Jim could get worked up over it. “I’ll be with you, Jim,” he promised as Randy got ready to transfer him out of the ambulance. “No one’s going to make me go anywhere.”
Despite his reassurance, Jim kept a vice-like grip on Leonard as he was wheeled into the E.R. He could see Jim’s breath fogging the oxygen mask he still wore as his heart rate picked up again. As they walked through the department, Leonard looked around. It seemed as if it was pretty quiet, for which he was grateful. The quicker Jim could be seen, the better.
They were directed to a partitioned off cubicle, a nurse listening to the run-down Randy was giving her while the gurney was positioned next to a bed. Leonard hoped he was cluing her in on Jim’s phobia as well.
Jim watched wide-eyed as people surrounded him, nudging Leonard out of the way. His rapid breathing kept the mask fogged, and he’d started shaking again. The nurse looked down at their connected hands.
“Sir, if you could please back away…” the nurse started.
“No,” Jim shouted, panic in his voice. “No, Bones, don’t let me go…don’t leave me, please!” His breaths were becoming gasps and he trembled in fits as all the calm they’d worked for was gone in an instant.
“I’m not, Jim, I’m not. I’m right here,” Leonard replied. He looked up as more people joined them, hearing the commotion, including a doctor.
“Sir, you’re going to be fine,” he said, moving to stand at Jim’s head. “You need to just stay calm.” He looked around at the people surrounding Jim’s gurney. “Let’s move him on three.” He nodded at Leonard, looking down at their connected hands. “And that’s fine as long as he stays calm.”
Leonard nodded, and the doctor continued, “Okay, on three… Why is he not in a collar?”
They transferred Jim to the bed and then Randy replied, “He panicked - couldn’t handle it. Keep Leonard with him to keep him calm.” He tossed off a little salute to them that Leonard hardly noticed, he was so focused on Jim. “Good luck, guys.”
“Thanks,” Leonard replied distractedly.
Jim tried to focus on what was happening around him, and he heard the doctor order that something be given to him that he didn’t recognize. Jim wanted to scream, STOP DRUGGING ME!, but he couldn’t catch his breath. Instead he squeezed Bones’ hand, catching his eyes.
“Bones…”
“It’s okay, Jim. You’re not allergic to that. It’s just for pain.”
Things happened pretty fast after that. People moved around them, working around Leonard’s presence, to check Jim’s pulse, blood pressure and respiration. Noting that there was the possibility of internal bleeding, the E.R. doctor moved to palpitate Jim’s abdomen, checking for soreness or guarding that could indicate an internal problem.
At the first clinical touch on his midsection, Jim completely froze up, all of his muscles going rigid and he visibly shook. “No, no stop!” Jim begged, his voice muffled by the oxygen mask that was completely fogged by his fast breathing. “Don’t touch me, don’t! Bones…”
“Jim, you’re okay. It’s okay,” Leonard said. He could hear Jim’s harsh breathing in the mask, and knew that a full-blown panic attack was imminent.
“Are you in pain?” The doctor asked, taken aback by Jim’s reaction.
Jim panted behind the mask. “No, no…I’m not hurt…just don’t, please, don’t touch me…” The doctor glanced at Leonard over Jim’s prone form, and removed his hands. There was obviously another issue going on here.
“Take the mask off, please, please, I…” Jim let go of Leonard’s hand and clawed at the mask. “I can’t breathe! Bones, please, help me! I want to get up. I need to get up now!”
His gasping took on a pained quality, and Leonard barely heard the doctor ask for a sedative. Ignoring everyone else in the room, Leonard quickly took the mask off of him, removing it completely and letting it drop to the floor. He took Jim’s hand again, holding him tightly, feeling him shake as he leaned over him. He cocooned Jim with his arms to provide a safe, quiet space between the two he could focus on, and spoke to him soothingly. “You’re okay, Jim…shh. You’re hyperventilating again. Take a deep breath with me, hold it…..let it out slow, that’s right. Do it again…and again…I know you’re scared, but you’re safe here. I’m here, not leaving, and you’re safe.”
“Bones,” Jim said, his voice tight with unease. “I don’t want anyone to touch me and I want to get up.” A breath hitched in his chest and he swallowed, closing his eyes. “Please, please, get me out of here.”
Leonard’s heart broke at Jim’s plea, and he gently stroked Jim’s hair away from his forehead. “I know you want to go, Darlin’. I know. We gotta let them fix your arm, first. And you can get up soon. Very soon. We just have to know your neck and spine are okay. I promise.” He brushed his lips across Jim’s cheek. “I’m so sorry this is so hard.”
“Not your fault,” Jim whispered.
The doctor paused before administering the sedative, watching as Jim calmed, and seeing the effect of it on the monitors. He knew a panic attack when he saw it. He exchanged a glance with the neuro consult who was called down and made the decision to clear the room of everyone but a single nurse. It was obvious that this patient needed some additional consideration and a lot of people would only make him feel crowded. They waited a few moments, until Jim was breathing more or less normally and Leonard straightened up.
“Okay, feeling better, sir?” the doctor asked quietly.
“Yeah,” Jim whispered, closing his eyes as they watered. Leonard gently wiped the tears from Jim’s lashes.
The neuro consult moved in and ran Jim through the same checks that they’d done in the field, and a couple of other basic diagnostics to determine if there was a problem they couldn’t see. After a few minutes, he stepped away, and Leonard felt Jim release a pent up breath of relief.
“Jim, I think your spine and neck are fine, but we’re going to send you for an x-ray, just to confirm, then we’ll be able to fix that shoulder, and let you up, and I think that’ll help. What do you think?”
“Yes,” Jim said. “But I just…I just really need Bones.”
“Okay…he can stay with you most of the time,” the doctor replied. “Call me when you have the films,” he said to the E.R. doctor, then slipped out of the room.
“Jim, there was a note that there was blood in your mouth. I was pressing on your abdomen to see if I could feel anything that might be causing internal bleeding. Can I finish that?”
“I bit my tongue when I fell,” Jim replied, closing his eyes again.
The doctor took a penlight out of his pocket and clicked it on. “Can you open your mouth so I can see?”
Leonard backed away to give the doctor room, and Jim obliged. It only took a minute to see there was a laceration on his tongue. Not serious, it’d already stopped bleeding.
“Okay, I see that you did cut your tongue. But you fell from pretty high. It’d be really good if I could just finish checking you. May I?”
Jim hesitated and opened his eyes to look at Leonard. Funnily enough, this part, as simple as it seemed, - having a doctor palpitate his abdomen even during physical exams - was always a problem for Jim.
The look in Jim’s eyes said everything Leonard needed to hear. It was too much for him right now. He was feeling too out of control, too vulnerable, too scared, and too ashamed of that fear.
“No,” Leonard replied. “Let’s hold off on that.”
“Sir…”
“Doctor,” Leonard replied. “I’m a doctor. I know the risks, Jim knows the risks. Maybe later when he’s feeling a little better and his shoulder’s been tended to. In the meantime, I’m not leaving, and I know what to look for.”
The E.R. doctor tried again, because he had to, and Leonard respected him for that. “Doctor…”
“McCoy,” Leonard filled in. “Leonard McCoy.”
“Dr. Timmins,” he said, introducing himself. “He has extreme bruising across his side…”
“He landed on his side,” Leonard said. “I’m fairly certain he bruised his ribs. That’s the decision Doctor. Not now.”
Timmins pressed his lips together. “Jim, can you confirm this is what you want? To wait for the rest of the physical exam, against medical advice?”
“Yes,” Jim replied unhesitatingly.
“Ok, well, let’s get you to x-ray and we’ll go from there.”
Leonard took a couple of small, disposable blankets off a nearby cart and unfolded them over Jim, knowing that he would feel less exposed that way. “Thanks,” he said quietly.
“No problem, Darlin’,” Leonard said. He took Jim’s hand and walked beside the bed as he was wheeled down to x-ray. In the room, Leonard spoke quietly to him, telling him he’d be right in the control room, that he could see him. Jim was okay with separating from Leonard for this. He lay quietly, eyes closed, as the tech got the images he needed, including a couple specifically for his ribs and shoulder, which was getting more and more uncomfortable.
When they were done, Leonard came back into the room and gently brushed his hand over Jim’s forehead, pushing his hair back. “Darlin’, you did good. You hangin’ in there?”
Jim sighed. “Yeah. My arm hurts like a bitch and I really want to sit up, though.”
“I know you do. Soon,” Leonard promised again.
They went back to the E.R., and moments later were joined by the doctor providing the neuro consult. “Okay, Jim…everything looks okay with your neck and spine, so let’s get this off of you.”
“Finally!” Jim exclaimed, so relieved that he would finally be released. The doctor removed the tape that was securing him down, and then removed the towels.
Jim rolled his eyes at Leonard, “Told you I was fine,” he said, trying not to sound accusatory, but so much of what he’d gone through could’ve been avoided if they’d just listened to him. It was frustrating.
“Just wanted to make sure, Darlin’,” Leonard said easily. By now, he was very familiar with Jim’s moods when he was dealing with medical stuff. He swung between frightened and belligerent and apologetic and everything in between. Feeling vulnerable, feeling scared, feeling out of control…it all affected him and made him unpredictable. But Leonard understood. The only thing he cared about was that Jim was okay.
“You ready to sit up?” the doctor asked. “Or are you comfortable as you are?”
“I want to sit up,” Jim said. “Now please.”
“Okay, we have to get the backboard out from under you…”
A couple of techs came to help remove the backboard, and the pain from that motion had Jim clenching his jaw as his stomach threatened to rebel. Suddenly bathed in clammy sweat, his vision nearly blacked out before he managed to get a hold of himself. When he did come around, he was surprised to see that he was clutching Bone’s whole arm, pressing his face to him as sounds of pain were forced out of him.
He’d never experienced pain like this…like a red-hot poker was being jammed into the joint, with all the wrongness of actually feeling that a bone was out of place…it was nearly overwhelming for a couple of seconds.
Dimly, he heard Bones talking to him, gently petting his hair, and he tried to focus on that. Gradually, he came back to himself as the pain receded back to a hot, aching throb.
“Oh, God,” Jim groaned. “It hurts so bad…it’s getting worse.”
Dr. Timmins joined them as Jim panted, trying to get the pain under control.
“An orthopedist will be coming to see you…he’ll be here any minute and he’ll fix that shoulder. In the meantime,” he continued, turning to a nurse, “let’s do what we can to help you with pain management.” He signed the chart and the nurse prepared the medication to be introduced via his IV.
The effect was quick, for which Leonard was grateful, and he felt Jim’s body relax a little as the medication worked to take the edge off.
“You feeling up to finishing the exam?” Timmins asked when it was obvious Jim was calmed enough to be rational.
“No, thank you,” Jim said.
Well, at least he’s polite about it, Leonard thought to himself.
“Mr. Kirk…”
“No, thank you,” he repeated. “Bones, I want to sit up.” Leonard hit the control on the bed that raised the head, bring Jim up so that he was no longer flat on his back. He winced as the change in position shifted the weight of his arm, and Leonard quickly grabbed another pillow to help support him.
Sighing, the doctor checked everything else he could, and satisfied that Jim’s numbers were steady and didn’t indicate a problem, let it go. “You’re still breathing a little shallowly.”
“My ribs still hurt,” Jim said, sounding like he was leaving “idiot” out of it by the skin of his teeth. Only the way he was still clutching Leonard’s hand indicated how he was really feeling, despite the insolent tone.
“Well, the orthopedist will address that too. Can I listen to your chest again?”
Jim nodded, and the doctor listened to both sides.
“Everything sounds fine, but we can put you on some oxygen….”
“No, no,” Jim said quickly. “I’m fine.”
Rolling his eyes, Timmins turned to the nurse, giving her instructions on what to be aware of for this highly strung patient, and Leonard narrowed his eyes slightly. So Jim wasn’t the easiest patient…who were they to judge him at all for the way he felt? It wasn’t their place.
“Bones,” Jim said quietly.
Abandoning his train of thought, he turned his attention to Jim.
“You should call Aurelan or Sam…and we don’t have a car to get home.”
“You’re right. I’ll call now,” he said, fishing his cellphone out of his pocket. Leonard made a quick call, explained what had happened, insisted that Jim was really was ok and that it wasn’t necessary for everyone to come to the hospital, made sure they didn’t mind keeping Joanna tonight, and arranged for Sam and Aurelan to work together to drop his car off at the hospital - while sparing a moment to be grateful that they had an extra set of their keys.
“Thanks so much, Sam. Just don’t forget to text me the space number so I can find the car. No…we won’t need anything when we get home. Jim’ll just need to rest for a day or so. Okay….thanks…. goodbye.”
Hanging up, he turned back to Jim, feeling such a rush of sympathy and love for him. Laying back on the slightly reclined bed, his knees pulled up a little in an effort to ease the ache from his ribs, eyes closed, his complexion didn’t have any of his normal healthy color. He looked washed out and miserable and still in pain, if the furrow between his brows was any indicator.
Alone for the first time since this whole horrible thing started, Leonard came over to him and gently wrapped his arms around him, giving him a careful, tender hug.
“My poor Darlin’,” he said. “I’m so sorry this happened to you.”
Still hurting, still scared, and feeling overwhelmed, Jim let out a laugh that sounded more like a sob and pressed his face to Leonard’s shoulder, holding on to him with his good arm. They stayed like that for a few moments, Leonard stroking his hair and giving his neck a squeeze, just holding him and thanking whoever was listening that holding him was still possible after that fall. He closed his eyes against the thought of what could’ve happened, unable to even approach it as a “what if”.
Jim turned his head, still taking comfort from being held like that. “That’s the first and last time I ever try to fix anything, Bones,” he said.
Leonard pulled away, and Jim wiped his eyes. “That’s fine with me, Jim. We’ll find a fix-it guy and keep him on retainer.”
Leonard drew over a chair and sat beside the bed, holding Jim’s hand and bringing it up to his lips. They sat quietly for a few minutes, his eyes never leaving Jim’s face as he sat there, only slightly reclined, with his eyes closed, trying to relax. After a short while, though, he squirmed slightly.
“Bones,” he said, opening his eyes. “I really have to go to the bathroom.”
Leonard took stock of Jim’s situation. He was still in his jeans and socks, but his shoes had been left at the house. He was shirtless, left arm immobilized, and he hadn’t been on his feet in a couple of hours by now, and had some pretty potent pain medication in him. Leonard knew that really the best thing to do in this situation is get him out of his jeans, put him in a robe and get him a bedpan. He also knew that would never fly and even just suggesting it would be a bad idea. So, despite the fact that he knew Dr. Timmins wouldn’t approve, Leonard simply nodded and stood up.
“Okay, Darlin’. We’ll just have to do this nice and easy. Let me do the work until it’s time for you to stand.” Jim nodded, and Leonard slid a hand behind his upper back. He levered Jim into sitting up, watching him wince as he used sore muscles to hold himself up. “You good?”
“Yeah,” Jim said tightly.
“Alright, now your legs.” Again doing the work, he pulled Jim’s legs around until he was sitting sideways, then he lowered the bed so he could plant his sock-clad feet firmly. “Let me find you some slippers.”
Jim waited as Leonard looked around, then made a quick trip to the nurses’ station. He came back with a pair of disposable slippers in hand and bent to put them on Jim.
“How do you feel sitting up?” Leonard asked.
“Really sore, but not dizzy or anything. God, Bones…my arm is screwed up forever, isn’t it? There’s no way something that hurts this bad can ever really heal.”
“No…no, hey…it’s bad now, and it’ll take a while to heal, but it’ll be back to normal in a few weeks. We’ll make some appointments with Mark - remember him? - and get you back in physical therapy for a few sessions. You’re young…you’ll heal up perfectly. Okay?”
“Yeah, okay,” Jim replied, as always trusting Leonard completely. “I really gotta go, Bones.”
“Okay, Jim.” Taking the elbow of the uninjured arm Leonard helped him stand.
Jim groaned, but indicated that he was all right. Leonard grabbed the IV pole, and keeping one hand on Jim, together they made their way to the restroom closest to them.
“Do you need help?” Leonard asked as Jim stepped into the bathroom and wheeled his IV pole in behind him.
“No, I should be okay,” he replied.
Leonard wasn’t sure about that, but he wasn’t going to push it. “I’m right here. Don’t lock it, okay?”
He stood outside the door, deflecting a couple of people as he waited for Jim. After a couple of minutes, he knocked on the door. “Everything okay?”
Frustrated, Jim sighed heavily and then opened the door. “No,” he admitted. “I do need help.”
Leonard slipped into the bathroom and locked the door.
“I can’t manage the buttons with one hand,” he said, flushing.
Leonard noticed his uncharacteristic blush but just ignored it, undoing the buttons on his fly for him. He understood. It was the helplessness that was causing Jim’s discomfiture. So instead of saying anything about it, he simply told Jim to call him if he needed help when he was finished, and slipped out of the bathroom.
Once they were settled back into waiting for the ortho doctor, it was only a few more minutes before he showed up, followed by a tech who moved behind the bed and unlocked the brakes to make the bed portable.
“Jim Kirk, I’m Dr. Hudson. Did a number on your shoulder, there, huh?”
“Yeah,” Jim replied. “Is it bad? And what about my ribs?”
“Well, it’s dislocated, so that’s not good. But there’s no other damage to the bones, so that is good. You will have also pulled ligaments and muscles, but this type of injury usually doesn’t have particularly difficult lasting effects. It needs to be reduced - set the shoulder back in place - and you’ll be in a sling for a couple of weeks, but you should recover nicely. Your ribs are bruised, but nothing’s broken. You may feel sore for a couple of days, but that’ll fade. A respiratory therapist will come by to see you to make sure your breathing isn’t too constricted, but I can hear and see you’re already doing okay, so that shouldn’t be a problem.”
“Finally some good news,” Jim muttered, relieved that his ribs weren’t going to cause him any more issues. He was sore, but he could breathe much easier than when he was strapped down, and he wondered how much of his breathlessness was because of his injury, and how much of it was because of his panic.
The doctor nodded, “Yes, you’re lucky you don’t have to deal with broken ribs too. So, let’s get you moved to a procedure room to set that shoulder, and sir,” he said, turning his attention to Leonard, “you can take a seat out in the waiting room….”
“What? No, no, wait!” Jim cried as the tech started pushing his bed. “Bones comes with me!”
Hudson paused, and Leonard knew exactly what he was thinking, though Jim did not. Not yet anyway.
“I’m a doctor, Dr. Hudson. I know what to expect,” Leonard said.
Jim’s eyes widened in alarm at that. “What to expect? Why? What should you expect? Bones?”
“Let’s get settled in the other room, and I’ll explain what we’re going to do to fix that shoulder, okay?” Hudson said, catching Leonard’s eye.
“Bones…”
“I’m coming, Jim.” He turned to look at Hudson. “I’m coming. And I’m staying.”
Hudson nodded, and led them out. Terrified by what was coming, by not knowing what was coming, Jim reached out for Leonard and caught the edge of his shirt. Leonard took his hand, pressing his lips together as he felt him shaking.
His bed was parked in a procedure room that was set up for what was going to happen, giving them a little more privacy, but doing nothing to calm Jim’s fears.
Hudson rolled a stool over to Jim’s bedside and took a seat to explain how he was going to reduce the shoulder.
Jim seemed to shrink in on himself a little, looking anywhere but at the doctor and wishing that he’d back up a little.
“So, Jim, basically what we have to do is work the arm so that the ball at the end of bone slips back into place in the joint. Of course we’re going to numb the area with a nerve block, and give you muscle relaxants to counteract the way the muscle seizes up when there’s an injury like this, and probably a sedative to help you keep calm and relaxed. It won’t take long to fix it, and then we’ll put you in a sling and send you on your way. Any questions?”
Jim mutely shook his head, though he looked like he was going to throw up.
“Okay, let’s get this bed down…” Hudson looked over them at a nurse who’d joined them and she used the bed controls to bring the back down, laying Jim flat on his back.
“Wait, wait…” Jim said shakily, struggling to sit himself back up. “I don’t want this…I don’t…”
“Sir, you need to lie back…” the nurse started.
“Give us a second,” Leonard interrupted. “Please.”
The nurse backed off, and Jim turned his head to look at Leonard. “Is this going to hurt?” he asked in a small voice.
The doctor checked a sigh. “You’ll have a nerve block and you’ll be sedated….”
“Don’t talk around it,” Leonard said, knowing what Jim needed. It wasn’t pain he was afraid of. It was not knowing what was going to happen to him. “Be honest, so he knows what to expect.”
Jim looked at the ortho doctor who held Leonard’s gaze for a moment before shifting his attention to him.
“Yes,” he replied simply. “The medications will help. But it will hurt while we’re manipulating the arm to get everything back in place. You’re going to have to stay relaxed so that you don’t tense against what I’m going to be doing, and it’s probably going to feel like I’m doing more damage. But once the ball is back in the socket, it’ll feel so much better immediately, you’ll be amazed.”
“So what are you going to do?” Jim asked, wanting more information.
“I’m going to take your arm by the wrist, here, and pull, and hold your elbow here, to help guide the arm back into position. Like I said, it is going to hurt, but it won’t last long, and it’ll feel better right away. But first, we’re going to inject lidocaine directly into the joint, and that will help a lot. So…are you ready to get started?”
Jim swallowed and blew out a slow breath. “Yeah,” he said quietly. “But no sedatives. The nerve block is fine, muscle relaxants are fine, but not sedatives. Understand?”
“Mr. Kirk, that’s not really--”
“He tends to react badly to them,” Leonard broke in. “Drops his bp, depresses his respiration. It really would be better to not use them.”
“I’m not making any promises, but I’ll do my best. Lucky for you, I’m good at my job. Okay…first let’s get this off of you,” Hudson said. He and a nurse worked to gently remove the brace that had been keeping Jim’s arm stable while he breathed slowly and deeply, his lips pressed together against the pain. His sweaty grip on Bones’ hand tightened as his brow furrowed, and Leonard could do nothing but hold on just as tightly.
Once it was off, the bed was adjusted so that Jim was lying flat on his back. He knew what the next step was, so he kept his eyes on Leonard’s.
“Okay, Jim. The nurse is going to spray your arm right here,” he touched a finger to where he was going to insert the needle for the nerve block, “and it’s going to get really cold, and then you’ll feel a big poke. Ready?”
“Yeah, just do it,” Jim said tightly, turning his head away from them to lock eyes with Leonard. He jumped at the sound of the spray can, topically numbing the skin at his shoulder.
“Big poke, stay still for me,” Hudson murmured. He pushed the needle into joint, depressing the plunger and depositing the lidocaine solution directly to the area. Jim bore it silently, squeezing his eyes closed and clenching his jaw until the needle was withdrawn. It took several seconds, but finally it was done and out, and Jim let out a huge breath. They administered the muscle relaxant as well, and then the doctor stepped back as the nurse made notes on his chart.
“Okay, we’ll wait a couple of minutes, and then we’ll get started. How are you doing there, Jim?”
“Fine,” he said shortly. “I just want it done.”
“I know. Can you feel me touching your shoulder here?” the doctor asked.
Jim hesitated before answering. It was a weird sensation. He could feel pressure from where the doctor pressed, but he couldn’t feel the actual touch itself.
“Okay, good. We’ll give it just another minute.”
“You doin’ okay Darlin’?” Leonard asked quietly. He gently wiped sweat from Jim’s brow.
“Feel a little weird, kinda tired,” Jim admitted, obviously concentrating to make the words clear.
“That’s just the muscle relaxants. You’re fine.”
Jim blinked slowly. “Can’t feel my arm.”
“It’s still there. You’re doin’ fine.”
“Okay, Jim. I’m going to take hold of your wrist and elbow. You just stay relaxed and don’t fight me. Let me move your arm, okay?”
“Bones…”
“Just look at me, Darlin’, hold on to me,” Leonard said. He looked into those blue eyes, cloudy with the meds he’d been given, but remained aware of what the doctor was doing. As the doctor gently rotated Jim’s arm into the position he wanted, Jim gasped in pain, his back arching slightly in an attempt to counteract the movement.
“Oh, God….mmmmm, ow, shit….” Jim groaned, he squeezed his eyes closed, and felt a clammy sweat bathe his body again. The doctor didn’t let up, though, pushing his arm up, his grasp on his wrist and at his elbow unyielding, until he couldn’t take it anymore. “No, no stop…please, fuck!” Tears sprang to his eyes as he tensed against the doctor’s hold, hot knives of shocking pain slicing through his shoulder.
“Just a bit more, you need to stay relaxed and stay still, Jim,” Hudson said, freezing in his position until Jim could relax again. He caught Leonard’s eyes, and raised his brows.
Leonard got the message. Do something or he’d order the sedatives.
“Jim, Jim…Darlin’, look at me, look at me,” Leonard said, placing a hand on the side of his face.
“Bones, it hurts so bad,” Jim panted. “I can’t take it.”
“You need to relax, Jim…it hurts this much because you’re fighting him. Take a deep breath with me, and hold it, okay? Ready…inhale…..Now let it out slowly, and relax your stomach, and relax your neck, and relax your legs…and now your arms. Let’s do it again…”
Jim did his best to stay concentrated on Bones, listening to him, following his lead and gradually he managed to relax as some of the pain ebbed away. He blinked, trying to clear his eyes of the tears. He could feel the doctor again forcing his arm into position.
It got harder and harder to stand until he couldn’t take it silently anymore. A grunt of pain forced itself from behind his teeth, and he let go of Bones’ hand, twisting his grip in his shirt instead. His legs moved restlessly as he tried to deal with the discomfort as it got worse and worse, the pressure nearly unbearable…until something inside jerked into place with a wet snap!.
Jim let out a scream…mostly of surprise but also because of the bright flash of momentary agony…and the next thing he knew, he could feel his gorge rising in his throat. He didn’t even get a chance to warn Bones before he threw up all over him, gasping as the convulsions pulled on his sore ribs, and the room darkened as his consciousness threatened to leave him.
He held on, though, keeping himself anchored to the light in the room by the barest of threads. And as he came back to himself, he could hear Bones reassuring him that everything was ok, that it was over. Calming further as he realized the pain he’d been in was so greatly lessened, his harsh gasping gradually shifted to regular breathing, and he registered the sour smell of his own vomit.
“Oh, God…I’m so sorry,” he croaked, his throat burning as he blinked teary eyes, his body shaking in reaction to everything he’d been through, and feeling so very weak.
“It’s not a big deal, Jim, really. We’ll just clean up a bit, get you a sling, and get the hell out of here. How does that sound?”
“Yeah, get me out of here, please, Bones,” Jim said, teeth chattering.
“Okay, Darlin’, just relax and I’ll take care of the paperwork and then we’ll go.”
And that’s exactly what they did. True to his word, Leonard got Jim out of there as quickly as he could, prescription for pain medication and muscle relaxants in his hand along with samples to hold them over until he could fill the prescription. It was a short drive home in the car Sam and Aurelan had dropped off, and before long he was helping Jim to strip down so he could lie down and be as comfortable as possible.
“You’re going to be pretty sore for a few days,” Leonard said, handing Jim a couple of pills. Jim swallowed them with some water, then let himself lay back on the pillows, closing his eyes. Bones had so carefully helped him lie down, surrounding him with pillows to support the arm that was now in a sling, and keep him off his side that was bruised and sore. He’d done nothing but take care of him all day. “So you just try to stay relaxed as much as you can.”
“Okay,” Jim said. He felt sleepy, and fairly comfortable for the most part. He looked away for a moment, overcome with the knowledge of how loved he was, and how grateful he was for all the care Bones had taken with him today. “Bones, I just wanted to say how much I love you, and thank you for…”
“Jim,” Leonard said, leaning down to kiss him. “You don’t have to thank me for anything. I love you too.”
Jim smiled at that, feeling the depth of that simple phrase. “Will you lie down with me?”
“Yes, I just want to call Sam and let them know we’re home and you’re fine, and see how Jo is. I’ll be right back. Will you be okay?”
“Yeah, I’m fine. Go on, I’ll be here.”
“Okay. Be right back,” Leonard said again.
He left Jim to rest in their bedroom and hurried down the stairs. When they got home, he’d noticed that someone, probably the neighbor, Rob, had picked up Jim’s shoes and left them by the front door. He was grateful for that, and for all of the help Rob had provided. They’d have to invite his family over for dinner, or something like that, Leonard thought as he opened the front door and returned Jim’s sneakers to their customary space just inside the entry way.
A quick call to Sam assured him and Jo that Jim was doing just fine, and that although painful, his injuries hadn’t been serious, thank goodness. He could hear tears in Jo’s voice as he assured her that he really was okay. At ten, she’d become such an empathetic, kind-hearted child, even the thought of someone she loved getting hurt was enough to upset her.
“Jim’s really okay, Baby. His arm is going to be sore for a while, but he’s not even in a cast. The only reason we called an ambulance was because we needed to make sure his neck was okay, and it is. He’s fine.”
“Maybe I should come home anyway, Daddy.”
“Joanna, if you want to come home, you come. Aurelan will drive you. But Baby, all Jim’s going to do today is sleep. The doctor gave him some medicine that’s going to make him tired, so he just needs peace and quiet.”
“Mmm…well, ok. Maybe I’ll stay here tonight and come home tomorrow,” Joanna said, feeling better about staying with Janie and playing there now that she’d talked to her father.
“Okay, Jo. That’s fine. If you change your mind, you come on home, okay?”
“Okay, Daddy. Tell oide I love him.”
“I will Darlin’. See you tomorrow.”
“Bye Baby.”
Closing everything up downstairs, and satisfied that Jo was okay at Sam’s, Leonard made his way back upstairs. He could hear the tv droning quietly in their bedroom, and the sight that greeted him pulled at his heart.
Surrounded by pillows, covered by the blanket they kept on their bed, Jim lay with his eyes closed, looking the most comfortable he’d seemed all day. It had been such a stressful, frightening day for him, it was no wonder he was exhausted, and Leonard had no doubt the medication he’d taken a little while ago was probably already working on him as well.
He changed quietly, and then carefully eased himself onto the bed, not wanting to jostle or wake Jim, but feeling like he just needed to be as close to him as possible. After watching Jim go through everything today, and seeing his responses to the things that terrified him the most, Leonard was still feeling very protective.
Jim opened his eyes when he felt the bed dip as Leonard joined him, and smiled slightly. Leonard lay down next to him on his right, uninjured side, and gently put his arm around him. Jim sighed as he lay against him.
“Thank you for taking care of me Bones. Even when I…freaked out. I…I don’t know. I couldn’t have gone through that without you.”
Leonard kissed him softly. “Nothing to thank me for…just promise me…never do anything like that again.”
“Promise. Seriously.”