Now, I know what I want. :)
Другие записи: 9.25 | How will I know, the right way to love you? | I’m still waiting | Хотите иметь собственную квартиру: ознакомьтесь с нынешними условиями ипотечного ...
Well, what I’m focusing right now is finding a good job, looking for new friends, sharing and learning through various experiences that I’d personally encounter and from others as well. The three years and 1 term of my stay in school revolved around things and stories that I cannot call my own. Through those phases, days, weeks, and terms that I had, I’ve been leeching for good stories and experiences, just to tag my own story as exciting, full of adventure and magical. I totally forgot that I can also create my own story. Stories that entail failure, triumphs, love and magic. When I got a call for my first job interview, I realized that it’s me all along. Not him, not her, not you, but me. Those decisions of imitating lives were my choices. At first I was not aware, but as my story progresses, it’s finally sinking in-I was living an entirely different life, a life that is not mine. I was just mere continuing the failures of others to bring me to to instant success. I was not fully aware that those journeys were not even mine in the first place. What I thought about what the success that it would give me. It brought me happiness but I was not fully happy. I tried to manipulate my life by borrowing plots from other original stories, thinking that it would spice up my life. Now, I can’t get rid of them. I just can’t because they all became a good part of me. All those wrong choices can’t be undone, I just have to figure out how to save my life from being somebody else’s again. I have to have my own mark. I got to find what I want, whom I love, what I enjoy most, and go after those. I don’t have to imitate others just to call myself successful. For a number of times, I’ve been successful in those journeys that I did not even start. Successful, I can say yes; but happy, I was not even close to being the happiness that I’ve dreamed of. The lesson here is to create who you really are. If you need to get rid of those who make you less authentic, then do so.
Should I consider myself unsuccessful with the life that I had? I would proudly say NO. Even if I haven’t given my own personal mark with the things that I had, I still consider myself as successful. It’s never to late to grow up and go after whatever you want in life. I’m 20 years old and I still have a long way to go. I failed, I succeeded, I envied, I broke my heart, I lost myself. But who cares anyway? I’m excited to see what’s in store for me in all aspects of my life. I learned a lot in college-both in academics and in life. I’m successful because I know who I am and I know that I can get what I want. Despite the failures that I had, I’d be happy to embrace success knowing that already fell before. Triumph would be sweeter after a lot of hardships.
I’ve been scouting for a job for days now. I’ve been giving spice to my daily life by watching DVDs, spending time with friends, going to places that I think would help me grow. I want to read a lot of books, watch a lot of movies, and hit the gym while looking for a good place to apply what I learned in college. I’m in control right now. If I allowed myself to be successful in a lot of things, and so I can for tomorrow and in the next few days. I should not stop believing. I’ve been watching Glee and it’s a good motivation of expressing one’s potentials.