[Fiction] Kurotsuki [Reita x Ruki] - Chapter 4
Title: Kurotsuki
Chapter: 4/??
Author: cadaver_maxx
Genre: AU, Police
Warnings: (for entire story) violence, smut, drugs, alcohol, language
Rating: NC-17 (overall)
Pairing(s): Reita x Ruki (main) / Aoi x Uruha / Tora x Saga / Kai x Hiroto / Kaoru x Die
Band(s): The Gazette, Alice Nine, Dir en Grey
Disclaimer: Let’s pretend I do own them. Will I be wasting time writing this thing? Seriously?
Summary: Five skilled men live and breathe danger, just to help save the purity that lives around them. Through bullets, blades, explosions, they still have to live their own separate lives and identities. But it’s their choice. And they wouldn’t have it any other way.
Comments: I’m really down and sick and I’m writing this as my hands are shaking so if there will be more typos and mistakes than usual, I’m sorry. Feeling kind of low. Comments/critique appreciated and help one stay motivated. And if it’s between [], it’s a picture.
( Kurotsuki - Prologue ) ( Chapter 1 ) ( Chapter 2 ) ( Chapter 3 )
Takanori knocked on the wooden door of Kouyou’s bedroom and smiled when his step-brother answered. It was Wednesday and Kurotsuki was normally closed but Tora convoked a meeting and he needed Kouyou to be there. Not only to be the designated waiter but he needed his comforting presence because his adored hater was there. Yes, Takanori needed to know that the honey-blonde was there so he could feel he has somewhat of a support.
“Sorry to bother you on your free day, Kou but we need you at Kurotsuki. Did you have any plans?” he smiled bitterly, ashamed to disturb his step-brother. But Kouyou knew it wasn’t them that needed him, it was actually Takanori. So he smiled.
“No, brother, I have no plans. I’ll get dressed and go there in a minute” he said and hugged the shorter blonde whispering “I’ll be there for you”.
The doorbell ringing was what interrupted their brotherly hug but Takanori knew exactly who it was and he was not at all upset by it. “I’ll go answer. Thanks, doll” he said and turned, walking to the front door of his villa and opening it to be greeted by the largest, most brightest grin.
“Yutaka. Thank you for coming on such a short notice, but we need Kouyou at the bar and I don’t want to let Hiroto by himself”
“My utter pleasure.” He said taking the hand that was offered and shaking it.
“You know the room” Takanori smiled and reached his hand out in the direction of the stairs, being the first to take a step towards the teen’s room.
“How is he feeling?”
“He’s better. He started eating well, too.” The blonde replied, knocking on the door.
“Takanori-san?” he could hear from the other side. “Come in”
And the blonde did, asking Yutaka to wait a bit outside. He walked in and watched as Hiroto sat normally on the bed from his laying position and bundled the blanket in his lap with an adorable smile on his face.
“How are you, Hiropon?” he asked, leaning against the door frame. The teen responded with a nod and a smile and that brought one to the lips of the blonde. “Me and Kouyou have to go to Kurotsuki and I didn’t want to leave you alone. So I brought you some company”
The look of sheer happiness on Hiroto’s face when Yutaka entered his room was indescribable. And Takanori’s heart grew wider in his chest - he was happy that the teen could feel so much joy after the suffering that had been inflicted on him. He knew the young blonde was in good hands so he exited the room silently, leaving the teen with his favorite doctor. After the door was closed with a slight click, Yutaka approached the bed and smiled at Hiroto.
“How are you, Hiroto-kun” he asked both in politeness and in concern for the youth’s condition.
“I’m ok. Yutaka-san, I’m sorry if Takanori-san bothered you… I would have been ok by my own” he started, but was soon interrupted by the smiling presence.
“No, it’s my pleasure. Besides, we didn’t get to spend more time and I’m curious about how you were feeling. I’m grateful he called me”.
The corners of Hiroto’s lips turned upwards in a grin to match the bright one of the doctor. His heart was already pounding hard against his little chest - he made a mental note to thank Takanori with all his being for arranging him some time with his crush. It was a surprise for him how he felt so secure around that shiny presence and he was happy he could feel like that again after he was deceived by every person he knew in his past. Somehow, the young doctor represented for him a chance to forget about everything bad. Some kind of payment for all those years of suffering - his gentleness when treating the teen gave Hiroto a sense of being cared for. He felt like he could actually mean more to someone than just a whore, even though he was sure Yutaka felt nothing similar for the young blonde. He could care less - as long as he could enjoy the caring and warm presence of the brunette, Hiroto was happy.
“I’m healing quite nicely.” He showed a burn injury on his hand that was about to heal completely.
“Ah! You’re a tough one, aren’t you” Yutaka grinned taking the arm and looking closely at the wound. “Your body has the same fighting spirit you do. I’m glad to see you smiling so, Hiroto”
“It’s because of your care I’m healing so well.” The teen complimented. “Thank you so much” he bowed his head then grinned and got up from the bed. “I’m sorry for my apparel, but I guess you’ve seen me in a worse stage already” he looked away ashamed, feeling blood rush to his cheeks - even more so as the doctor chuckled. He went to a small table with leather arm-chairs surrounding it and pointed to one, motioning the doctor to take a seat. The shorts he was wearing showed the milky skin of his legs which he brought to his chest, hugging them and resting his chin on his knees. But then remembered he was a host, and as Yutaka sat on the armchair in front of him, he ducked under the table and pulled out a bottle of juice and a bag of snacks.
“I’m 19 so I’m not allowed to drink, but Takanori-san always brings me fresh juice and snacks” he said while pouring the contents of a pretzel bag in a bowl. “If you want a beer, I can go ask him for some” he smiled and Yutaka chuckled.
“No, juice is fine. I don’t drink at all.”
“Then do you smoke?”
“I do. But I wouldn’t want to smoke in your room and get the nicotine infested in every corner of it” Yutaka smiled gently.
“But it’s fine, really. If Takanori-san brought you all the way here just to keep me company, I might as well tend well to my guest. Excuse me for a second.”
Hiroto exited his room and took a while to breathe in his excitement before he descended the stairs to the living-room where Kouyou and Ruki were ready to leave. It took the teen a couple of days to understand the difference between Ruki and Takanori, but he finally got it. When the man had stripes, he was Ruki. The fact that he was a killer didn’t even bothered him since the blonde saved him. As selfish as he felt, Ruki could even be a rapist, but he was safe with him and as long as he had Takanori as a friend, he couldn’t give a rat’s ass.
“Hiropon. Is there something wrong?” Ruki asked, arranging the collar of his shirt.
“M…” he shook his head, blonde locks swaying gently around his face. “I wondered if I could get an ashtray for Doctor Yutaka.”
“You can get anything you like from the kitchen. Beer, food, whatever” was a reply that he got from Kouyou. “You don’t have to ask, Pon-chan, this is your home, now.”
Hiroto grinned and hugged both men. “Thank you, Kouyou-san. Takanori-san”
The two chuckled at the boy’s cuteness. “Drop the formalities, Hiropon. Taka and Kou are just fine.”
The teen nodded and skipped to the kitchen, grabbing an ashtray and emptying some coffee from the filter in a cup. A glass of milk and a small cup of sugar with a spoon on an ashtray and the little form was just ready to go back upstairs. He bit his lip before opening the door and entering the room, where he was greeted with the perfect presence of the young doctor.
Casually dressed, he was sitting on the arm-chair with his legs crossed, leaning against the backrest, taking a sip out of the glass of orange juice that was previously filled by the boy. When he saw the young male enter he smiled and pushed himself off the chair, taking the tray from the boy.
“Here. Let me help you”
When their fingers brushed involuntarily, Hiroto’s heart skipped a beat and he ended up looking at the doctor with his lower lip slightly parted from his pair, his big eyes staring in awe at the gentle man.
“Are you ok, there?” Yutaka asked and the teen shook his head, waking up from his trance.
“I’m ok” he skipped to the armchair and pushed the tray near the doctor. “I brought you some coffee, too” he smiled.
Yutaka smiled as well, lighting a cigarette and taking a long drag from it. He blew the smoke up and turned to look at the boy. “Are you happy here, Hiroto-chan? How are you getting along with Takanori and Kouyou?”
And as the teen began to explain, Yutaka couldn’t help but feel happy for the boy. He was actually amazed at how strong he was, how unbelievably optimistic and grateful. For him, every chance he got to spend with the young blonde was a pleasure as he enjoyed his cheerful presence. Even as his scars marked his skin, he still found life worth living and that alone represented a factor that only drew Yutaka closer to him. The sheer curiosity to know the reason of Hiroto’s inner strength.
*~*~*~*
As Kouyou poured the whiskey in the five glasses, Tora’s heart was racing faster and faster. It wasn’t only the fear of confessing to his friends but the ice-cold look Reita was giving him. He wasn’t blaming the intelligent blonde, no. He knew Reita had all doubt to feel this way towards him. He was only blaming himself for not being more careful. With his gun… With her. Because, as Tora saw it, everything was his fault. The fact that she was taken away was only because Amano Shinji couldn’t take better care of her. He definitely knew that Amano Shinji could do nothing to bring her back so he made Tora do it. Because Tora definitely had the means and the power to do it.
Kouyou bowed and left behind the bar. Tora’s heart stopped.
“So what is so important, Tora?” Aoi inquired, taking a sip out of his glass and gracefully placing it back on the table.
So Reita didn’t tell anyone seeing as the blonde was the only one that seem to have an idea about what was going on.
“Before I begin, I want to apologize for breaking a rule. I took Tora out in the open without your knowledge or consent.” He bowed deeply and when he lifted his gaze he was met by the curious yet disappointed looks of the three other men in the group.
“We’re listening” Reita said, furrowing his brows and pursing his lips.
The pyrotechnician sighed.
“Four months ago, I returned home from a day at the factory to an empty house and a note. This one, to be more exact” he placed a peace of paper on the table. “You gentlemen, besides Saga, don’t know, but I have a little daughter. The reason I haven’t mentioned her is because of the danger we put ourselves and our families with what we do.” He said as Reita scanned the note.
“She was kidnapped” Tora swallowed some air and looked down, his eyes betraying sadness and despair. “And I had to bring her back. I already paid the ransom, but there was no use. Each month kept asking for more and more. That’s when I decided to take matter into my own hands. And because Shinji failed at protecting her… Tora had to do something. I began a little investigation and… I have nothing tangible. My research led me to the person hired to kidnap her, but he didn’t give me any information on who hired him and I shot him. 27 times… I also lost my gun and I began searching for it. That led me to Kaoru, Reita. Where you saw me…” The look in the three men’s eyes turned from anger and disappointment to sympathy. Tora felt a weight lift of his chest. “I couldn’t say anything because if I involved you guys, she would be in even more danger and I couldn’t have that… I couldn’t take her dying. I have two reasons for which I am sharing this now. One, Reita already saw me betraying our rule. Second… I need your gentlemen’s help. Please help me bring Maya back… Even if, after, you’ll ask me to leave the group. I completely understand but… I need your help.”
As Tora’s head came falling down into his own hands, Saga’s arm rose and placed itself on his lover’s back, comforting him as his body was already shaking.
Long fingers were playing with a black lip ring as a glass was brought to plump lips. The fingers removed and the glass replacing them, Aoi let his mouth be enveloped in the burning taste of quality whiskey before placing the glass back down with a clink. He was also the first one to speak.
“We’ll need a picture of the girl and every peace of information you can have about the state the house was in when you got back home that day…”
“Sorry to interrupt you, Aoi” Saga spoke and pulled a file out of his bag. “You have there every bit of information I could gather. Maya’s background and profile, I took photos, finger-prints and recorded every conversation. Sorry, love. I had to, even though you told me not to. I couldn’t back off…”
“And we’re grateful for that” Reita took the file. “I’ll look over it; process it; see what I can come up with. Saga, good job. And Tora…” he began and waited for the devastated being to look up. “I never once doubted you. I was curious, yes. But never doubted you, friend” he reached out a hand which Tora took and shook strongly.
“We’re all friends here, Tora. We’ll find her…” Takanori offered a strong hug which Tora gladly took, but was soon replaced by one given by his lover.
“Thank you, Saga…” he whispered, burying his face in the crook of his neck.
“Let’s go home, love…” Saga whispered in response.
“I’ll go, too. I have to clean up a bit after Tora’s mess” Reita laughed, but it was a welcomed joke which the brunette accepted, seeing as he chuckled as well.
As the three men said their goodbyes and left, Aoi and Ruki still sat at the table, enjoying their drinks.
Nothing was said. Nothing needed to be said. In the 13 years Aoi had known the man, he knew when he had to shut up and when he had to talk. And now, as Ruki was taking in the smoke from a lit cigar, looking absentmindedly at the spot Reita previously sat in, he knew he had no business opening a talk. Ruki’s mind worked in ways no one could quite fathom and if his train of thoughts was disturbed, it’s not known what the smaller man might do.
“Nee… Aoi” he began, blowing the smoke upwards. “Would you mind helping Kouyou clean up a bit? There is something I have to do…” he said and got up after receiving a nod.
Something to do? Not really. Ruki just knew what Kouyou felt for Aoi and he figured they needed some time alone. Besides… all the confident blonde needed was that. Some time in which he could work his magic. He didn’t want to interrupt Hiroto and Yutaka either, so he figured a walk in the park would be just perfect.
Back in the bar, Kouyou went to the table and began to pick up the empty glasses. He took them to the bar and returned to Aoi’s figure.
“Anything else?” he smiled and the man smiled back, making Kouyou’s heart skip a beat or two.
“No, doll. I’m just fine. But you can sit and have a drink with me” Aoi offered, putting down his fedora.
Kouyou grinned. Everyone in the group called him a doll, but when Yuu would say it, it was different. Yuu… Kouyou loved Yuu. He loved him to such extent that if the man told him to die for him, he would. And he thanked Takanori with all his little heart, promising that he’d repay the favor.
“How have you been, Yuu?” he asked as he took a seat on the opposite couch. “You’re were kind of down the past few meetings.”
“Observant as always, Kou.” Yuu smiled. “I’m ok. Just that… The family, my friends are taking away all my time and I …” he began, but never ended. He couldn’t say he was feeling lonely. He couldn’t say that the fact he was feeling down was actually because he never felt anything for anyone. Not even the satisfaction of a fuck… nothing. He felt numb inside, incapable of loving or being loved. He wished he could feel something else other than the apathy for life he felt. He wish he could feel anything. Even the pain Takanori was feeling would be good enough as long as he could just feel.
“That’s not true” Kouyou smiled.
“Is it not?” Yuu smiled in return.
“No. There’s something else bothering you…”
“And what might that be?”
“You’re lonely.”
The sudden and serious reply he received left him wondering. Was he lonely? He had friends, didn’t he? Of course he did. And he had Midori and Ayumi and Emily at the whore house. Oh. Wait. That didn’t count, he paid them. Yeah, he was lonely.
“Lonely because you have no one to spend time with that would take your mind off your clan and this group.” True. Yuu became more interested. “Lonely because you have no one to hold your head in his or her lap after you get home after a long day, no one to caress your cheek gently and to watch you fall asleep” Nailed it.
Yuu did felt the need for such sweet nothings, as much as he’d hate to admit it. And he swore that by the way Kouyou looked at him, the blonde was reading through the pages of his thoughts as one would read an open book.
“You really think that?” the brunette asked and met a nod.
“I know that, actually. I’m a bartender, I’m supposed to read people” he smiled such a gorgeous smile that Yuu couldn’t resist. His pouty lip hung as curiosity was written throughout his features.
“And why don’t you have someone like that, Yuu?” Kouyou asked, resting his elbow on the table and propping his chin in his hand.
Why? Because he didn’t feel like that for anyone. He couldn’t feel… could he? Ever since his little sister was raped and killed in front of him, he was afraid of feeling anything and his heart immediately shut itself as a self-defense mechanism but now, with the intoxicating presence of the honey blonde in front of him, he wasn’t so sure of anything. It amazed him how the waiter could read him clearly, as a well-written book, but for some reason created such chaos and havoc in his mind and heart. How he could feel so calm and comforted in the presence of the other and yet so nervous. Kouyou was just like a tornado that came and destroyed everything he knew was true about him and rearranged in a way in which even he began to doubt everything he knew about himself. He liked that feeling… did he? The distorted reality the honey-blonde created for him. He felt like he wanted to know more. More about himself. More about what Kouyou knew about him because his mind was so dumbfounded that he realized that Yuu was a stranger to his own self.
“I… don’t know.” Was all he could mutter. “But… I don’t want to feel lonely anymore…” he looked and the big hazel eyes, his own dark ones lighting up as an invitation.
Kouyou understood. And he was happy. Not only because he won a war with a mind so strong such as Yuu’s, but because it was Yuu who invited him and all he had to do was state some truths about him.
As soon as Yuu woke up from the daze he was left in, he realized he was at his place with a glass of wine in his right hand, a cigarette secured between his middle and index finger of his left hand and a smiling Kouyou sitting with his legs crossed near him. Even though he could remember every broken piece of conversation they had on their way there, he never could remember how they reached his living room.
With one gulp, he downed the content of the glass in an attempt to realize what was going on.
“You should really drink less” Kouyou giggled but took the bottle of wine on the table and refilled Yuu’s glass.
“You should give me less to drink” Yuu responded, feeling like his mind had once again regained its normal course of though.
“Fair enough” the honey blonde took the glass from Yuu’s hand and placed it on the table. “But since I took this from you, I should give you something back.” He smiled at Yuu and pulled in his lower lip biting it slightly with his pearly white teeth.
For Kouyou, this was the moment everything would come together. All those years of wondering if he should tell him or not, all those years of doubting himself when he knew he had the confidence to just burst his feelings out. Heck, Yuu didn’t even need to respond positively. He’d be just fine. But he guessed all he needed was some time alone with the brunette of his dreams, time which he didn’t get in 13 years because someone was always near them. Whether it was Ruki or some girl Yuu just happened to name his girlfriend at that time.
When he saw no hint of refusal in the brunette’s eyes, Kouyou leaned over and brought their lips together in a soft kiss. He moved his own plush pair against the other’s, barely touching them. It was Yuu who took their sweet and innocent kiss to the next step, brushing his tongue along Kouyou’s lower lip only to be met then by the honey blonde’s own muscle.
Kouyou pulled back and smiled.
Yuu smiled also. Wholeheartedly. Something inside him happened. He felt.
*~*~*~*
Takanori found himself sitting on a bench and looking at the moon thinking at none other than Akira. He had to say tonight, his love for the man grew even bigger. He saw Shinji break a rule, yet he didn’t rush to the other men to tell them. No. He kept the brunette’s secret until he came clean. He didn’t doubt him. He was a true friend…
He found himself wondering if the blonde actually felt something similar for him. If he still hated him, if he could ever feel something other than disgust for him. It hurt Takanori so much, but he realized that no… Akira would never stop hating him. He had no chance of the blonde ever coming close to tolerate him let alone share his feelings. And it hurt so bad he nearly broke into tears.
The wind was blowing through the leaves of the trees, creating such a melancholic song to match the blonde’s sadness. But the moon seemed to taunt him, shining so brightly up on the sky, making the blonde curse it for being so beautiful. For telling him something is beautiful. He could deal just fine with knowing that everything is ugly, that nothing is worth it, but he found himself surrounded by beauty and he couldn’t grasp it. He couldn’t touch it. All that was meant for him was suffering and misery.
There, alone, in a God forsaken park where there was no one but the tears to witness him, he fell to his knees, gripping his pained heart through his shirt and the skin on his chest and, as tears started pouring down his cheeks, he yelled as hard as his abused lungs allowed him, he screamed.
“Akira, I love you!”
But there was no one to hear him. No one but the moon, who taunted his sadness. Nothing but the wind to sing his misery.
Chapter: 4/??
Author: cadaver_maxx
Genre: AU, Police
Warnings: (for entire story) violence, smut, drugs, alcohol, language
Rating: NC-17 (overall)
Pairing(s): Reita x Ruki (main) / Aoi x Uruha / Tora x Saga / Kai x Hiroto / Kaoru x Die
Band(s): The Gazette, Alice Nine, Dir en Grey
Disclaimer: Let’s pretend I do own them. Will I be wasting time writing this thing? Seriously?
Summary: Five skilled men live and breathe danger, just to help save the purity that lives around them. Through bullets, blades, explosions, they still have to live their own separate lives and identities. But it’s their choice. And they wouldn’t have it any other way.
Comments: I’m really down and sick and I’m writing this as my hands are shaking so if there will be more typos and mistakes than usual, I’m sorry. Feeling kind of low. Comments/critique appreciated and help one stay motivated. And if it’s between [], it’s a picture.
( Kurotsuki - Prologue ) ( Chapter 1 ) ( Chapter 2 ) ( Chapter 3 )
Takanori knocked on the wooden door of Kouyou’s bedroom and smiled when his step-brother answered. It was Wednesday and Kurotsuki was normally closed but Tora convoked a meeting and he needed Kouyou to be there. Not only to be the designated waiter but he needed his comforting presence because his adored hater was there. Yes, Takanori needed to know that the honey-blonde was there so he could feel he has somewhat of a support.
“Sorry to bother you on your free day, Kou but we need you at Kurotsuki. Did you have any plans?” he smiled bitterly, ashamed to disturb his step-brother. But Kouyou knew it wasn’t them that needed him, it was actually Takanori. So he smiled.
“No, brother, I have no plans. I’ll get dressed and go there in a minute” he said and hugged the shorter blonde whispering “I’ll be there for you”.
The doorbell ringing was what interrupted their brotherly hug but Takanori knew exactly who it was and he was not at all upset by it. “I’ll go answer. Thanks, doll” he said and turned, walking to the front door of his villa and opening it to be greeted by the largest, most brightest grin.
“Yutaka. Thank you for coming on such a short notice, but we need Kouyou at the bar and I don’t want to let Hiroto by himself”
“My utter pleasure.” He said taking the hand that was offered and shaking it.
“You know the room” Takanori smiled and reached his hand out in the direction of the stairs, being the first to take a step towards the teen’s room.
“How is he feeling?”
“He’s better. He started eating well, too.” The blonde replied, knocking on the door.
“Takanori-san?” he could hear from the other side. “Come in”
And the blonde did, asking Yutaka to wait a bit outside. He walked in and watched as Hiroto sat normally on the bed from his laying position and bundled the blanket in his lap with an adorable smile on his face.
“How are you, Hiropon?” he asked, leaning against the door frame. The teen responded with a nod and a smile and that brought one to the lips of the blonde. “Me and Kouyou have to go to Kurotsuki and I didn’t want to leave you alone. So I brought you some company”
The look of sheer happiness on Hiroto’s face when Yutaka entered his room was indescribable. And Takanori’s heart grew wider in his chest - he was happy that the teen could feel so much joy after the suffering that had been inflicted on him. He knew the young blonde was in good hands so he exited the room silently, leaving the teen with his favorite doctor. After the door was closed with a slight click, Yutaka approached the bed and smiled at Hiroto.
“How are you, Hiroto-kun” he asked both in politeness and in concern for the youth’s condition.
“I’m ok. Yutaka-san, I’m sorry if Takanori-san bothered you… I would have been ok by my own” he started, but was soon interrupted by the smiling presence.
“No, it’s my pleasure. Besides, we didn’t get to spend more time and I’m curious about how you were feeling. I’m grateful he called me”.
The corners of Hiroto’s lips turned upwards in a grin to match the bright one of the doctor. His heart was already pounding hard against his little chest - he made a mental note to thank Takanori with all his being for arranging him some time with his crush. It was a surprise for him how he felt so secure around that shiny presence and he was happy he could feel like that again after he was deceived by every person he knew in his past. Somehow, the young doctor represented for him a chance to forget about everything bad. Some kind of payment for all those years of suffering - his gentleness when treating the teen gave Hiroto a sense of being cared for. He felt like he could actually mean more to someone than just a whore, even though he was sure Yutaka felt nothing similar for the young blonde. He could care less - as long as he could enjoy the caring and warm presence of the brunette, Hiroto was happy.
“I’m healing quite nicely.” He showed a burn injury on his hand that was about to heal completely.
“Ah! You’re a tough one, aren’t you” Yutaka grinned taking the arm and looking closely at the wound. “Your body has the same fighting spirit you do. I’m glad to see you smiling so, Hiroto”
“It’s because of your care I’m healing so well.” The teen complimented. “Thank you so much” he bowed his head then grinned and got up from the bed. “I’m sorry for my apparel, but I guess you’ve seen me in a worse stage already” he looked away ashamed, feeling blood rush to his cheeks - even more so as the doctor chuckled. He went to a small table with leather arm-chairs surrounding it and pointed to one, motioning the doctor to take a seat. The shorts he was wearing showed the milky skin of his legs which he brought to his chest, hugging them and resting his chin on his knees. But then remembered he was a host, and as Yutaka sat on the armchair in front of him, he ducked under the table and pulled out a bottle of juice and a bag of snacks.
“I’m 19 so I’m not allowed to drink, but Takanori-san always brings me fresh juice and snacks” he said while pouring the contents of a pretzel bag in a bowl. “If you want a beer, I can go ask him for some” he smiled and Yutaka chuckled.
“No, juice is fine. I don’t drink at all.”
“Then do you smoke?”
“I do. But I wouldn’t want to smoke in your room and get the nicotine infested in every corner of it” Yutaka smiled gently.
“But it’s fine, really. If Takanori-san brought you all the way here just to keep me company, I might as well tend well to my guest. Excuse me for a second.”
Hiroto exited his room and took a while to breathe in his excitement before he descended the stairs to the living-room where Kouyou and Ruki were ready to leave. It took the teen a couple of days to understand the difference between Ruki and Takanori, but he finally got it. When the man had stripes, he was Ruki. The fact that he was a killer didn’t even bothered him since the blonde saved him. As selfish as he felt, Ruki could even be a rapist, but he was safe with him and as long as he had Takanori as a friend, he couldn’t give a rat’s ass.
“Hiropon. Is there something wrong?” Ruki asked, arranging the collar of his shirt.
“M…” he shook his head, blonde locks swaying gently around his face. “I wondered if I could get an ashtray for Doctor Yutaka.”
“You can get anything you like from the kitchen. Beer, food, whatever” was a reply that he got from Kouyou. “You don’t have to ask, Pon-chan, this is your home, now.”
Hiroto grinned and hugged both men. “Thank you, Kouyou-san. Takanori-san”
The two chuckled at the boy’s cuteness. “Drop the formalities, Hiropon. Taka and Kou are just fine.”
The teen nodded and skipped to the kitchen, grabbing an ashtray and emptying some coffee from the filter in a cup. A glass of milk and a small cup of sugar with a spoon on an ashtray and the little form was just ready to go back upstairs. He bit his lip before opening the door and entering the room, where he was greeted with the perfect presence of the young doctor.
Casually dressed, he was sitting on the arm-chair with his legs crossed, leaning against the backrest, taking a sip out of the glass of orange juice that was previously filled by the boy. When he saw the young male enter he smiled and pushed himself off the chair, taking the tray from the boy.
“Here. Let me help you”
When their fingers brushed involuntarily, Hiroto’s heart skipped a beat and he ended up looking at the doctor with his lower lip slightly parted from his pair, his big eyes staring in awe at the gentle man.
“Are you ok, there?” Yutaka asked and the teen shook his head, waking up from his trance.
“I’m ok” he skipped to the armchair and pushed the tray near the doctor. “I brought you some coffee, too” he smiled.
Yutaka smiled as well, lighting a cigarette and taking a long drag from it. He blew the smoke up and turned to look at the boy. “Are you happy here, Hiroto-chan? How are you getting along with Takanori and Kouyou?”
And as the teen began to explain, Yutaka couldn’t help but feel happy for the boy. He was actually amazed at how strong he was, how unbelievably optimistic and grateful. For him, every chance he got to spend with the young blonde was a pleasure as he enjoyed his cheerful presence. Even as his scars marked his skin, he still found life worth living and that alone represented a factor that only drew Yutaka closer to him. The sheer curiosity to know the reason of Hiroto’s inner strength.
*~*~*~*
As Kouyou poured the whiskey in the five glasses, Tora’s heart was racing faster and faster. It wasn’t only the fear of confessing to his friends but the ice-cold look Reita was giving him. He wasn’t blaming the intelligent blonde, no. He knew Reita had all doubt to feel this way towards him. He was only blaming himself for not being more careful. With his gun… With her. Because, as Tora saw it, everything was his fault. The fact that she was taken away was only because Amano Shinji couldn’t take better care of her. He definitely knew that Amano Shinji could do nothing to bring her back so he made Tora do it. Because Tora definitely had the means and the power to do it.
Kouyou bowed and left behind the bar. Tora’s heart stopped.
“So what is so important, Tora?” Aoi inquired, taking a sip out of his glass and gracefully placing it back on the table.
So Reita didn’t tell anyone seeing as the blonde was the only one that seem to have an idea about what was going on.
“Before I begin, I want to apologize for breaking a rule. I took Tora out in the open without your knowledge or consent.” He bowed deeply and when he lifted his gaze he was met by the curious yet disappointed looks of the three other men in the group.
“We’re listening” Reita said, furrowing his brows and pursing his lips.
The pyrotechnician sighed.
“Four months ago, I returned home from a day at the factory to an empty house and a note. This one, to be more exact” he placed a peace of paper on the table. “You gentlemen, besides Saga, don’t know, but I have a little daughter. The reason I haven’t mentioned her is because of the danger we put ourselves and our families with what we do.” He said as Reita scanned the note.
“She was kidnapped” Tora swallowed some air and looked down, his eyes betraying sadness and despair. “And I had to bring her back. I already paid the ransom, but there was no use. Each month kept asking for more and more. That’s when I decided to take matter into my own hands. And because Shinji failed at protecting her… Tora had to do something. I began a little investigation and… I have nothing tangible. My research led me to the person hired to kidnap her, but he didn’t give me any information on who hired him and I shot him. 27 times… I also lost my gun and I began searching for it. That led me to Kaoru, Reita. Where you saw me…” The look in the three men’s eyes turned from anger and disappointment to sympathy. Tora felt a weight lift of his chest. “I couldn’t say anything because if I involved you guys, she would be in even more danger and I couldn’t have that… I couldn’t take her dying. I have two reasons for which I am sharing this now. One, Reita already saw me betraying our rule. Second… I need your gentlemen’s help. Please help me bring Maya back… Even if, after, you’ll ask me to leave the group. I completely understand but… I need your help.”
As Tora’s head came falling down into his own hands, Saga’s arm rose and placed itself on his lover’s back, comforting him as his body was already shaking.
Long fingers were playing with a black lip ring as a glass was brought to plump lips. The fingers removed and the glass replacing them, Aoi let his mouth be enveloped in the burning taste of quality whiskey before placing the glass back down with a clink. He was also the first one to speak.
“We’ll need a picture of the girl and every peace of information you can have about the state the house was in when you got back home that day…”
“Sorry to interrupt you, Aoi” Saga spoke and pulled a file out of his bag. “You have there every bit of information I could gather. Maya’s background and profile, I took photos, finger-prints and recorded every conversation. Sorry, love. I had to, even though you told me not to. I couldn’t back off…”
“And we’re grateful for that” Reita took the file. “I’ll look over it; process it; see what I can come up with. Saga, good job. And Tora…” he began and waited for the devastated being to look up. “I never once doubted you. I was curious, yes. But never doubted you, friend” he reached out a hand which Tora took and shook strongly.
“We’re all friends here, Tora. We’ll find her…” Takanori offered a strong hug which Tora gladly took, but was soon replaced by one given by his lover.
“Thank you, Saga…” he whispered, burying his face in the crook of his neck.
“Let’s go home, love…” Saga whispered in response.
“I’ll go, too. I have to clean up a bit after Tora’s mess” Reita laughed, but it was a welcomed joke which the brunette accepted, seeing as he chuckled as well.
As the three men said their goodbyes and left, Aoi and Ruki still sat at the table, enjoying their drinks.
Nothing was said. Nothing needed to be said. In the 13 years Aoi had known the man, he knew when he had to shut up and when he had to talk. And now, as Ruki was taking in the smoke from a lit cigar, looking absentmindedly at the spot Reita previously sat in, he knew he had no business opening a talk. Ruki’s mind worked in ways no one could quite fathom and if his train of thoughts was disturbed, it’s not known what the smaller man might do.
“Nee… Aoi” he began, blowing the smoke upwards. “Would you mind helping Kouyou clean up a bit? There is something I have to do…” he said and got up after receiving a nod.
Something to do? Not really. Ruki just knew what Kouyou felt for Aoi and he figured they needed some time alone. Besides… all the confident blonde needed was that. Some time in which he could work his magic. He didn’t want to interrupt Hiroto and Yutaka either, so he figured a walk in the park would be just perfect.
Back in the bar, Kouyou went to the table and began to pick up the empty glasses. He took them to the bar and returned to Aoi’s figure.
“Anything else?” he smiled and the man smiled back, making Kouyou’s heart skip a beat or two.
“No, doll. I’m just fine. But you can sit and have a drink with me” Aoi offered, putting down his fedora.
Kouyou grinned. Everyone in the group called him a doll, but when Yuu would say it, it was different. Yuu… Kouyou loved Yuu. He loved him to such extent that if the man told him to die for him, he would. And he thanked Takanori with all his little heart, promising that he’d repay the favor.
“How have you been, Yuu?” he asked as he took a seat on the opposite couch. “You’re were kind of down the past few meetings.”
“Observant as always, Kou.” Yuu smiled. “I’m ok. Just that… The family, my friends are taking away all my time and I …” he began, but never ended. He couldn’t say he was feeling lonely. He couldn’t say that the fact he was feeling down was actually because he never felt anything for anyone. Not even the satisfaction of a fuck… nothing. He felt numb inside, incapable of loving or being loved. He wished he could feel something else other than the apathy for life he felt. He wish he could feel anything. Even the pain Takanori was feeling would be good enough as long as he could just feel.
“That’s not true” Kouyou smiled.
“Is it not?” Yuu smiled in return.
“No. There’s something else bothering you…”
“And what might that be?”
“You’re lonely.”
The sudden and serious reply he received left him wondering. Was he lonely? He had friends, didn’t he? Of course he did. And he had Midori and Ayumi and Emily at the whore house. Oh. Wait. That didn’t count, he paid them. Yeah, he was lonely.
“Lonely because you have no one to spend time with that would take your mind off your clan and this group.” True. Yuu became more interested. “Lonely because you have no one to hold your head in his or her lap after you get home after a long day, no one to caress your cheek gently and to watch you fall asleep” Nailed it.
Yuu did felt the need for such sweet nothings, as much as he’d hate to admit it. And he swore that by the way Kouyou looked at him, the blonde was reading through the pages of his thoughts as one would read an open book.
“You really think that?” the brunette asked and met a nod.
“I know that, actually. I’m a bartender, I’m supposed to read people” he smiled such a gorgeous smile that Yuu couldn’t resist. His pouty lip hung as curiosity was written throughout his features.
“And why don’t you have someone like that, Yuu?” Kouyou asked, resting his elbow on the table and propping his chin in his hand.
Why? Because he didn’t feel like that for anyone. He couldn’t feel… could he? Ever since his little sister was raped and killed in front of him, he was afraid of feeling anything and his heart immediately shut itself as a self-defense mechanism but now, with the intoxicating presence of the honey blonde in front of him, he wasn’t so sure of anything. It amazed him how the waiter could read him clearly, as a well-written book, but for some reason created such chaos and havoc in his mind and heart. How he could feel so calm and comforted in the presence of the other and yet so nervous. Kouyou was just like a tornado that came and destroyed everything he knew was true about him and rearranged in a way in which even he began to doubt everything he knew about himself. He liked that feeling… did he? The distorted reality the honey-blonde created for him. He felt like he wanted to know more. More about himself. More about what Kouyou knew about him because his mind was so dumbfounded that he realized that Yuu was a stranger to his own self.
“I… don’t know.” Was all he could mutter. “But… I don’t want to feel lonely anymore…” he looked and the big hazel eyes, his own dark ones lighting up as an invitation.
Kouyou understood. And he was happy. Not only because he won a war with a mind so strong such as Yuu’s, but because it was Yuu who invited him and all he had to do was state some truths about him.
As soon as Yuu woke up from the daze he was left in, he realized he was at his place with a glass of wine in his right hand, a cigarette secured between his middle and index finger of his left hand and a smiling Kouyou sitting with his legs crossed near him. Even though he could remember every broken piece of conversation they had on their way there, he never could remember how they reached his living room.
With one gulp, he downed the content of the glass in an attempt to realize what was going on.
“You should really drink less” Kouyou giggled but took the bottle of wine on the table and refilled Yuu’s glass.
“You should give me less to drink” Yuu responded, feeling like his mind had once again regained its normal course of though.
“Fair enough” the honey blonde took the glass from Yuu’s hand and placed it on the table. “But since I took this from you, I should give you something back.” He smiled at Yuu and pulled in his lower lip biting it slightly with his pearly white teeth.
For Kouyou, this was the moment everything would come together. All those years of wondering if he should tell him or not, all those years of doubting himself when he knew he had the confidence to just burst his feelings out. Heck, Yuu didn’t even need to respond positively. He’d be just fine. But he guessed all he needed was some time alone with the brunette of his dreams, time which he didn’t get in 13 years because someone was always near them. Whether it was Ruki or some girl Yuu just happened to name his girlfriend at that time.
When he saw no hint of refusal in the brunette’s eyes, Kouyou leaned over and brought their lips together in a soft kiss. He moved his own plush pair against the other’s, barely touching them. It was Yuu who took their sweet and innocent kiss to the next step, brushing his tongue along Kouyou’s lower lip only to be met then by the honey blonde’s own muscle.
Kouyou pulled back and smiled.
Yuu smiled also. Wholeheartedly. Something inside him happened. He felt.
*~*~*~*
Takanori found himself sitting on a bench and looking at the moon thinking at none other than Akira. He had to say tonight, his love for the man grew even bigger. He saw Shinji break a rule, yet he didn’t rush to the other men to tell them. No. He kept the brunette’s secret until he came clean. He didn’t doubt him. He was a true friend…
He found himself wondering if the blonde actually felt something similar for him. If he still hated him, if he could ever feel something other than disgust for him. It hurt Takanori so much, but he realized that no… Akira would never stop hating him. He had no chance of the blonde ever coming close to tolerate him let alone share his feelings. And it hurt so bad he nearly broke into tears.
The wind was blowing through the leaves of the trees, creating such a melancholic song to match the blonde’s sadness. But the moon seemed to taunt him, shining so brightly up on the sky, making the blonde curse it for being so beautiful. For telling him something is beautiful. He could deal just fine with knowing that everything is ugly, that nothing is worth it, but he found himself surrounded by beauty and he couldn’t grasp it. He couldn’t touch it. All that was meant for him was suffering and misery.
There, alone, in a God forsaken park where there was no one but the tears to witness him, he fell to his knees, gripping his pained heart through his shirt and the skin on his chest and, as tears started pouring down his cheeks, he yelled as hard as his abused lungs allowed him, he screamed.
“Akira, I love you!”
But there was no one to hear him. No one but the moon, who taunted his sadness. Nothing but the wind to sing his misery.