death note/ I've always waited for you
#01 Motion
The first time that Mello undresses in front of him, Matt feels as if Mello is taking of his clothes in slow motion.
#02 Cool
No one would think that they are cool, they are just teens who were abandoned when they were little, but still Matt likes to think that they are special.
#03 Young
Matt thinks that he doesn’t care if he dies young as long as he has Mello by his side.
#04 Last
The last time he makes love to Mello Matt desires to get lost and disappear within the blond’s body.
#05 Wrong
Mello’s God would consider it wrong, but Matt can’t help to love Mello.
#06 Gentle
Matt always tries to be gentle, ‘cause he would never want to break Mello.
#07 One
When Mello kissed him for the first time, Matt hoped that that kiss could be the first one of many others.
#08 Thousand
When Mello arrived at Wammy’s he was like a little wild beast, but Matt thought that it would be alright to be hit even a thousand times by him if it would have meant that Mello had noticed him.
#09 King
When they started to live in LA Matt took Mello to Burger King and he laughed so much looking at how adorable the disgusted look on Mello’s face was.
#10 Learn
Matt it’s not ashamed to admit that what he has learnt in his life he has learnt it thanks to Mello.
#11 Blur
When he discovered that Mello had left the room became an indistinct blur as tears began to stream down his cheeks.
#12 Wait
Matt hated himself because after Mello had left he couldn’t do anything else but wait.
#13 Change
Matt knows all too well that they will never be able to change anything in this rotten world, but he never tells this to Mello, Mello’s faith it’s just too pure for him to shatter it.
#14 Command
Mello’s God commands many things, but Matt’s heart just commands him one thing.
#15 Hold
Their last night together Matt shivered as Mello whispered in his ear “please hold me”.
#16 Need
And Matt has always need Mello more than cigarettes, more than air.
#17 Vision
Many times when Mello was far away Matt had seen him in his dreams.
#18 Attention
It was hard to focus on his homework when Mello’s golden hair brushed lightly against his shoulder.
#19 Soul
Matt doesn’t know if he believes in human beings having a soul but if he has one then it is in Mello’s hands.
#20 Picture
Sometimes Matt thinks that it would have been nice to be just normal kids, it would have been nice to have the possibility to carry a photo of Mello in his wallet.
#21 Fool
Matt knows he is a fool, ‘cause Mello will always be out of his reach.
#22 Mad
Sometimes Mello gets mad at Matt and shouts and takes out his gun, but somehow they always end up on the couch, their mouths connected and their legs intertwined.
#23 Child
Matt thinks about the angry child that Mello was and he knows that deep inside he has always been in love with Mello since back then.
#24 Now
“Come to get me, now” was what Mello said when he called Matt after many years apart, and Matt just ran to him.
#25 Shadow
And even though there had always been the shadow of death over their lives Matt always thought that Mello shone more than the sun.
#26 Goodbye
For Matt hearing Mello moaning his name over and over was the perfect way to say goodbye.
#27 Hide
When they were little and played hide and seek Matt was always the first whom Mello was able to find.
#28 Fortune
For Matt having Mello in his life is one of the greatest fortunes he could ever have.
#29 Safe
He knows it’s childish but he can’t help to feel safe when the night comes and he lays in his bed, Mello at his side.
#30 Ghost
And Matt is the one who kisses Mello’s tears away when L’s ghost visits the blond’s dreams.
#31 Book
Mello stole Matt’s first kiss over a book in the library.
#32 Eye
And Matt’s world was hidden within the azure of Mello’s eyes.
#33 Never
And they both knew, without the need to say it out loud, that they would never be able to stay apart.
#34 Sing
Mello is not a good singer, but Matt would listen to him singing all the day long.
#35 Sudden
And even after he had found Mello again Matt was afraid that the blond could leave him all of sudden.
#36 Stop
Matt has wondered many times if Mello would have stopped if he had asked him.
#37 Time
Matt whishes he could stop time every time he is inside of Mello.
#38 Wash
Sometimes they bring their clothes to a laundry nearby and Matt loves every moment spent with Mello’s head against his shoulder, talking about nothing in particular.
#39 Torn
Matt never had the chance to be torn between Mello and something else ‘cause he always chose Mello in first place.
#40 History
Matt had never liked history but he always liked to listen to Mello’s voice as the blond repeated all those dates, all those names.
#41 Power
Matt has never wanted power, he has never wanted to be the first, he was satisfied enough being the third, and being the one whom Mello could trust.
#42 Bother
Matt doesn’t even bother about what the others could think, about what God would think, he just knows that he can’t help to feel the way he does towards Mello.
#43 God
When Mello left Wammy’s bringing the Bible with him and leaving Matt behind, Matt understood that Mello loved God more than him.
#44 Wall
Matt looked at their shadows stamped by the sun over a ruined wall and thought that he wanted the time to stop.
#45 Naked
And he knows that he will always be naked and defenseless in front of Mello.
#46 Drive
Matt likes to drive at sunset, the light splashing on the asphalt in front of him and Mello at his side, humming some song along with the radio.
#47 Harm
Matt could stand any harm as long as it’s Mello to give it to him.
#48 Precious
When he looks at the blond panting under him Matt can’t help to think that the blond shines as a gem.
#49 Hunger
When he is hungry he usually eats some chips, when Mello is hungry he usually eats chocolate, and then salt and sugar mix in their mouths when they kiss.
#50 Believe
And Matt not even once stopped to believe in Mello.