loveless/Dream
Soubi usually doesn’t dream, his sleep is pitch dark, and soft, as dark honey. But there are times when he dreams, and those times he never dreams about Ritsuka, he dreams about Seimei.
He knows that sane creatures on Earth would just escape from what he has gone through because of Seimei, but he just can’t do that. He knows that he is no longer a sane creature since the first time that Ritsu-sensei touched him, and even more since the first time that Semei pressed that cold blade into the flesh of his neck, to carve a name that shouldn’t have been there.
Semei was like that, he used to shape the world with his hands, not caring about weather or not things were supposed to be as he wanted.
Soubi has always thought that Seimei’s hands were beautiful, so elegant and yet so dangerous, so pale and yet he had seen them covered in his own blood. Semei’s hands were what kept Soubi glued to reality, what shaped him, what gave meaning to his existence. Seimei’s hands, more than Ritsu’s, were the ones which had nailed down Soubi’s broken wings.
And Soubi can’t help to see Seimei’s hands in his dreams, he can’t help to feel them running over his skin as they had never done, as he had always silently desired they would. And every time that he wakes up after he has dreamt of Seimei he slowly traces the contours of the letters carved in his neck, he slowly lets the truth sink in again and again. He slowly lets Seimei’s fingers close around himself over and over, pushing the nails deeper in the transparent tissue of his butterfly wings, knowing that he will never want to get rid of that pain, because it was Seimei to give it to him.