singing songs that could only catch the ear of the desperate (jonghyun/taeyeon)
singing songs that could only catch the ear of the desperate
jonghyun/taeyeon; alt!celebrity au
drabble; pg-13; 555 words
warnings: subtle alluding to depression and drug use/addiction
a/n: i draw inspiration from fall out boy songs.
His throat had tightened at the sound of her name. " Kim Taeyeon? She hadn’t left her apartment in months, she never comes to these things." His breath restrained as if someone had taken a death grip to his throat as memories ricocheted off of him like a rock to a brick wall. Of a boy and a girl, of hushed promises, and intertwined fingers.
They had been young, beautiful and hopeful - now he felt nothing short of hopeless.
His stomach churned thinking about it; how something both had said were holding the other back now felt like the only thing that had ever been real. What he had now could be lost so easily - shattered into a million little pieces at his feet, but what he’d had then had been held close, in a tight grip. It’d only broken because she’d ran. He didn’t blame her for it - she had dreams. He had them too; they were similar, even. It just would’ve been impossible to accomplish either standing by the others side.
You had to play dirty if you really wanted to make it to the top. Greed, gluttony, lust, envy, pride. He knew five of the seven deadly sins like the back of his hand. He couldn’t have let her see him like that; at his worst, and he was sure she felt the same way now that she was at hers.
Swirling a finger around the top of his class, Jonghyun sighed as he watched Taeyeon wander aimlessly from one side of the room to the next. She never made direct eye contact with anyone, never spoke up, just wandered. He sighed.
"You know her, right?"
"Kind of."
"Kind of?" Kibum repeated back with a squint of his eyes. “I thought you grew up with her."
"I did," Jonghyun shrugged as a taller girl balancing a half full table of empty glasses started pass him. He sat his half full glass absentmindedly along with the rest before she was too far out of reach.
"Then… you know her." Kibum took a sip of his drink. “I saw her at a party last year - it wasn’t really a black tie affair though," he paused. “If you know what I mean."
Jonghyun shrugged.
"She got a nose bleed - didn’t bother to try and stop it until a good minute after it started, though. Ruined her dress. You know how that one ended, though."
Raising a hand to his forehead, Jonghyun begun to rub slow circles as Taeyeon turned behind a stack of plastic chairs, leaning against them with that he would have classified as lonely - absent, even, if knew any better. She shook her head as someone a man approached her with a drink tray.
A chunk of hair fell out of place from the side of her bun with a slow bounce. Jonghyun felt his hand jerk forward involuntarily, almost by instinct, ready to put it back into place or brush it behind her ears, but he resisted. They weren’t teenagers anymore. They weren’t together anyone - they didn’t know each other anymore. They were as good as strangers.
(It wouldn’t have made sense to try anyway. The distance between them was staggering - though not as much physically as otherwise.)
"Why don’t you go say “hi" to her. She’s looking pretty lonely over there."
"Lonely," he repeated.
He wished it were that easy.
jonghyun/taeyeon; alt!celebrity au
drabble; pg-13; 555 words
warnings: subtle alluding to depression and drug use/addiction
a/n: i draw inspiration from fall out boy songs.
His throat had tightened at the sound of her name. " Kim Taeyeon? She hadn’t left her apartment in months, she never comes to these things." His breath restrained as if someone had taken a death grip to his throat as memories ricocheted off of him like a rock to a brick wall. Of a boy and a girl, of hushed promises, and intertwined fingers.
They had been young, beautiful and hopeful - now he felt nothing short of hopeless.
His stomach churned thinking about it; how something both had said were holding the other back now felt like the only thing that had ever been real. What he had now could be lost so easily - shattered into a million little pieces at his feet, but what he’d had then had been held close, in a tight grip. It’d only broken because she’d ran. He didn’t blame her for it - she had dreams. He had them too; they were similar, even. It just would’ve been impossible to accomplish either standing by the others side.
You had to play dirty if you really wanted to make it to the top. Greed, gluttony, lust, envy, pride. He knew five of the seven deadly sins like the back of his hand. He couldn’t have let her see him like that; at his worst, and he was sure she felt the same way now that she was at hers.
Swirling a finger around the top of his class, Jonghyun sighed as he watched Taeyeon wander aimlessly from one side of the room to the next. She never made direct eye contact with anyone, never spoke up, just wandered. He sighed.
"You know her, right?"
"Kind of."
"Kind of?" Kibum repeated back with a squint of his eyes. “I thought you grew up with her."
"I did," Jonghyun shrugged as a taller girl balancing a half full table of empty glasses started pass him. He sat his half full glass absentmindedly along with the rest before she was too far out of reach.
"Then… you know her." Kibum took a sip of his drink. “I saw her at a party last year - it wasn’t really a black tie affair though," he paused. “If you know what I mean."
Jonghyun shrugged.
"She got a nose bleed - didn’t bother to try and stop it until a good minute after it started, though. Ruined her dress. You know how that one ended, though."
Raising a hand to his forehead, Jonghyun begun to rub slow circles as Taeyeon turned behind a stack of plastic chairs, leaning against them with that he would have classified as lonely - absent, even, if knew any better. She shook her head as someone a man approached her with a drink tray.
A chunk of hair fell out of place from the side of her bun with a slow bounce. Jonghyun felt his hand jerk forward involuntarily, almost by instinct, ready to put it back into place or brush it behind her ears, but he resisted. They weren’t teenagers anymore. They weren’t together anyone - they didn’t know each other anymore. They were as good as strangers.
(It wouldn’t have made sense to try anyway. The distance between them was staggering - though not as much physically as otherwise.)
"Why don’t you go say “hi" to her. She’s looking pretty lonely over there."
"Lonely," he repeated.
He wished it were that easy.