Fic: To The Pain (27/41)
Title: To The Pain, Chapter 27
Rating: R
Warnings: Just a bit of language
Spoilers: Season One thru End of Days (1x13)
Pairings: Jack/Ianto; Ianto/Brendan
Disclaimer: Torchwood and all its wonderfulness belong to Russell T. Davies and the Mighty Beeb. Just goofin' around!
Summary: In which Jamie wants some answers from Ianto…
Notes: Sequel to Vizzini’s Rule; previous chapters of To The Pain can be found here. Thanks to my wonderful beta
thrace_adams for all the support - any mistakes are mine!
To The Pain: Chapter Twenty-Seven
“’Hullo Jamie’? That’s all you’ve got?” Jamie said indignantly.
“Jamie, let’s -”
“Christ, Ianto! I… I thought -” Jamie broke off and looked at Ianto.
“I’m sorry. Let’s just go inside, okay?” Ianto asked as he shifted the beer in his arms.
Jamie glared at him for a moment and then nodded.
Sighing with relief, Ianto threw Brendan an apologetic glance and led them all to the flat. Once they were inside, Brendan followed Ianto into the kitchen where they quickly put away the perishables and grabbed a beer for each of them. Jamie stood by the table, watching them both with his arms crossed, his expression shifting between anger and unhappiness.
Ianto handed him a beer and then took a long drink from his own bottle before diving in.
“First things first. Jamie, this is Brendan Spenser. Brendan’s doing some consulting for the firm. He’s been staying here for the past few days. Jamie Smith,” Ianto said as Brendan stepped forward and offered his hand. Jamie shook it as Ianto continued. “We were flatmates at University.”
“Nice to meet you.”
“Likewise.”
After the pleasantries, Jamie turned back to Ianto, looking grim. “So what the fuck, Ianto? Two and a half months and not a word. You promised.”
“I know, I’m sorry.”
“You dropped off the fucking face of the earth again. And you look worse than you did right after Lisa.”
Ianto flushed. “I’m sorry,” he repeated. “It’s been bad a work for a while. A lot of stress, okay?”
“Land you in the A&E again stress?”
“A&E?” Brendan asked sounding concerned.
Before Ianto could say anything, Jamie jumped in. “Second term, this one works himself to the point of collapse. Passed out cold in the library. Not eating, running in any spare time, living off coffee. And now you’re doing it again. No job is worth this, Ianto. Quit, find something else, you can do anything.”
“It’s not that bad,” Ianto said mulishly.
“It looks that bad,” Jamie challenged.
“It’s not just work,” Brendan murmured.
Ianto shot him a glare but Brendan just raised his eyebrows, as if daring him to deny it.
“What’s he mean?” Jamie asked. He turned his stare on Brendan. “What do you mean?”
Brendan glanced over at Ianto. Jamie waited half a beat and then drew himself up to his full height. He looked down his nose at Brendan and said in a commanding voice wholly unlike his usual pleasant tones, “Now listen here, you, I want to know -”
“Jamie, stop it,” Ianto said sharply. He rubbed a hand over his eyes. “I hate it when you start channeling your father. Let’s go sit down, okay?”
Jamie looked like he wanted to argue, but after a moment’s pause he turned on his heel and headed to the sofa. He flopped down in one corner and watched as Ianto took the other end and Brendan settled in the chair closest to Ianto. His eyes narrowed for a moment as he watched the two men, but he didn’t say anything.
Ianto took a long drink of his beer and cleared his throat. “Jack’s gone,” he said bluntly.
“What do you mean gone?” Jamie asked.
Shrugging, Ianto replied. “Gone. As in not here. As in left. There was some… trouble at work and things got bad. We got it resolved, everything seemed fine and then he ran off.”
“When was this?”
“Two months ago.”
Jamie shifted on the cushions, bringing one leg up so he could face Ianto more easily. “Did you guys have a fight?” he asked softly.
Ianto flushed, but shook his head. “No, no, not like you’re thinking. We…” Ianto swallowed hard. “We’d had a little trouble, between the two of us as well as with work but we were okay. He actually wanted to get together and talk that night but instead he just… disappeared.”
Brendan made a small sound of dismay. “You didn’t tell me that part,” he said as he squeezed Ianto’s shoulder.
“You know Jack?” Jamie asked Brendan, watching them again with narrowed eyes.
Brendan nodded. “I’ve been working with the firm since last autumn.”
Ianto was grateful for Brendan’s ability to pick up on his cues and not reveal too much. Growing up UNIT has its advantages.
“And what exactly do you do?” Jamie asked somewhat rudely.
“I’m a mechanic.”
“And you know about Jack?” Jamie turned to Ianto again. “I thought you were keeping you two a secret from the people at work?”
Ianto flushed again. “I was, we were, but Brendan is a friend and he’s not one of the people who would have made trouble. And besides,” he sighed. “Everyone knows now anyway.”
Jamie leaned back on the sofa and fixed Ianto with a pointed stare. “Whole story, Jones, now.”
Ianto smiled a little in relief. If Jamie was calling him Jones, he wasn’t all that angry anymore. Ianto took another drink of his beer and gave Jamie the whole story as best he could. He told Jamie and Brendan that Owen and Jack had disagreed about how “the firm” should be run but left out the bits about Diane and the weevils and the rift. He told them about Jack being attracted to another man but left out the parts where that man was also named Captain Jack Harkness and had died in 1941. Then he told them about a troublesome case revolving around one Bilis Manger, the mutiny, and the shooting - leaving out, of course, tiny details like Abaddon, the apocalypse, Jack’s death and subsequent revival redux. When he got to the part where Jack had kissed him in front of the entire “office” after he came back “from hospital” Jamie interrupted, spluttering indignantly.
“You mean he just outed you in front of everyone?”
“Yeah, well, no.” Ianto ran a hand through his hair. “Tosh knew I was seeing another man, but she didn’t know it was Jack.”
“But still… that’s not right, Ianto. He -” Jamie broke off, looking fierce.
“Jamie, it’s okay. I - there was so much going on then that I didn’t even really think about it like that,” Ianto said. And it was true. He wondered if he should have, if it made a difference.
“He took that from you, Ianto. That choice, that moment was yours, not his.” Jamie shook his head. “He shouldn’t have done that.”
Ianto thought about that moment in the Hub again, the joy at seeing Jack was alive, the embrace, the kiss, and shook his head. “No, it was - he didn’t mean it like that. He wasn’t outing me or anything like that he was… he was just happy, Jamie. Happy he was still alive, happy to see me.” Ianto’s voice faltered and Jamie slid closer to him, Brendan just watching them from the chair.
“What is it, Jones?”
“He was happy,” Ianto whispered. His eyes were unfocused, remembering. “He’d forgiven us, all of us, not just Owen. He… He didn’t leave because of what we did.”
Out of the corner of his eye, Ianto saw Jamie dart a worried glance at Brendan. He gave a watery chuckle at their concern.
“I’m okay, really. I just - see, he didn’t leave, didn’t leave me. He went to the D-” He bit his lip. “To wherever he went. Don’t you see?” He looked at Jamie and then at Brendan and felt the heavy weight of guilt slide off his shoulders. “It’s not my fault,” he whispered.
Jamie and Brendan were next to him instantly. Jamie grabbed his hand and Brendan rubbed his back, murmuring words of comfort as they touched him.
“Of course it’s not your fault,” Jamie said, the indignant note back in his voice.
“No wonder you’ve been such a wreck,” Brendan added.
“You know,” Jamie pointed out, “you didn’t have to do this alone. I would have been here in an instant. Sounds like Brendan would too,” he admitted.
Brendan and Ianto nodded simultaneously. “I know. I just didn’t want you to see me falling apart like that. Not again. And I was trying -” He stopped himself. He didn’t think either of them needed to hear about his pathetic and failed forays into telepathy.
“Trying to do it all on your own again,” Jamie growled. “Why do you think I made you promise to stay in touch? Why do you think I’ve been calling for weeks, Jones? You’re not alone. Even if Jack is gone for good.”
Ianto laughed. “You always were a mind reader, Smith,” he teased. “I had that exact same thought this morning. You,” Ianto reached for Brendan’s hand. “You reminded me of that. And you, Jamie, coming all this way just to yell at me. Thanks.”
Jamie grumbled again and pulled Ianto into a rough hug. “Daft sod. You always were.”
When Jamie pulled back his eyes were suspiciously bright. He sprang off the sofa with a muttered, “Be right back,” and hurried to the bath.
Ianto turned and smiled at Brendan. “Sorry for the therapy session,” he said softly. “We tend to do that a lot.”
Brendan ran a comforting hand through his hair. “Sounds like you needed it. I wish -” Brendan caught his lower lip between his teeth.
Ianto almost moaned at the sight of that adorably crooked tooth and tried to reign himself in. “What?” he asked.
“I wish I’d been able to do more. To help you.”
“Oh, Brendan, you did.” Ianto pulled him into a quick hug. “I don’t know what I would have done if you hadn’t shown up when you did. And I wouldn’t trade our weekend together for anything. I’m just sorry tonight got bollocksed up,” he said softly as he traced their linked fingers.
“Maybe it’s for the best,” Brendan whispered.
Ianto looked up and met Brendan’s eyes.
“Best?”
Brendan nodded. “It’s gonna be hard enough to leave you tomorrow. If we had another night together, it might be impossible.”
“Brendan, I -”
“Don’t you dare apologize again, Ianto. No regrets, right?”
Ianto swallowed and nodded. “No regrets.”
“Alright,” Jamie interrupted, clapping his hands together as he came back to the sofa. “Do we have enough beer here to do it up proper or do we need to head to the nearest pub?”
Brendan and Ianto shared one more smile before Ianto got up. “We’ve got enough beer and food, Smith. Even by your standards.”
“Excellent, Jones. Just what I wanted to hear. In the words of the immortal Judy, come on, lads, let’s get happy.”
Ianto laughed and went to fetch another round.
TBC in Chapter Twenty-Eight
Rating: R
Warnings: Just a bit of language
Spoilers: Season One thru End of Days (1x13)
Pairings: Jack/Ianto; Ianto/Brendan
Disclaimer: Torchwood and all its wonderfulness belong to Russell T. Davies and the Mighty Beeb. Just goofin' around!
Summary: In which Jamie wants some answers from Ianto…
Notes: Sequel to Vizzini’s Rule; previous chapters of To The Pain can be found here. Thanks to my wonderful beta
thrace_adams for all the support - any mistakes are mine!
To The Pain: Chapter Twenty-Seven
“’Hullo Jamie’? That’s all you’ve got?” Jamie said indignantly.
“Jamie, let’s -”
“Christ, Ianto! I… I thought -” Jamie broke off and looked at Ianto.
“I’m sorry. Let’s just go inside, okay?” Ianto asked as he shifted the beer in his arms.
Jamie glared at him for a moment and then nodded.
Sighing with relief, Ianto threw Brendan an apologetic glance and led them all to the flat. Once they were inside, Brendan followed Ianto into the kitchen where they quickly put away the perishables and grabbed a beer for each of them. Jamie stood by the table, watching them both with his arms crossed, his expression shifting between anger and unhappiness.
Ianto handed him a beer and then took a long drink from his own bottle before diving in.
“First things first. Jamie, this is Brendan Spenser. Brendan’s doing some consulting for the firm. He’s been staying here for the past few days. Jamie Smith,” Ianto said as Brendan stepped forward and offered his hand. Jamie shook it as Ianto continued. “We were flatmates at University.”
“Nice to meet you.”
“Likewise.”
After the pleasantries, Jamie turned back to Ianto, looking grim. “So what the fuck, Ianto? Two and a half months and not a word. You promised.”
“I know, I’m sorry.”
“You dropped off the fucking face of the earth again. And you look worse than you did right after Lisa.”
Ianto flushed. “I’m sorry,” he repeated. “It’s been bad a work for a while. A lot of stress, okay?”
“Land you in the A&E again stress?”
“A&E?” Brendan asked sounding concerned.
Before Ianto could say anything, Jamie jumped in. “Second term, this one works himself to the point of collapse. Passed out cold in the library. Not eating, running in any spare time, living off coffee. And now you’re doing it again. No job is worth this, Ianto. Quit, find something else, you can do anything.”
“It’s not that bad,” Ianto said mulishly.
“It looks that bad,” Jamie challenged.
“It’s not just work,” Brendan murmured.
Ianto shot him a glare but Brendan just raised his eyebrows, as if daring him to deny it.
“What’s he mean?” Jamie asked. He turned his stare on Brendan. “What do you mean?”
Brendan glanced over at Ianto. Jamie waited half a beat and then drew himself up to his full height. He looked down his nose at Brendan and said in a commanding voice wholly unlike his usual pleasant tones, “Now listen here, you, I want to know -”
“Jamie, stop it,” Ianto said sharply. He rubbed a hand over his eyes. “I hate it when you start channeling your father. Let’s go sit down, okay?”
Jamie looked like he wanted to argue, but after a moment’s pause he turned on his heel and headed to the sofa. He flopped down in one corner and watched as Ianto took the other end and Brendan settled in the chair closest to Ianto. His eyes narrowed for a moment as he watched the two men, but he didn’t say anything.
Ianto took a long drink of his beer and cleared his throat. “Jack’s gone,” he said bluntly.
“What do you mean gone?” Jamie asked.
Shrugging, Ianto replied. “Gone. As in not here. As in left. There was some… trouble at work and things got bad. We got it resolved, everything seemed fine and then he ran off.”
“When was this?”
“Two months ago.”
Jamie shifted on the cushions, bringing one leg up so he could face Ianto more easily. “Did you guys have a fight?” he asked softly.
Ianto flushed, but shook his head. “No, no, not like you’re thinking. We…” Ianto swallowed hard. “We’d had a little trouble, between the two of us as well as with work but we were okay. He actually wanted to get together and talk that night but instead he just… disappeared.”
Brendan made a small sound of dismay. “You didn’t tell me that part,” he said as he squeezed Ianto’s shoulder.
“You know Jack?” Jamie asked Brendan, watching them again with narrowed eyes.
Brendan nodded. “I’ve been working with the firm since last autumn.”
Ianto was grateful for Brendan’s ability to pick up on his cues and not reveal too much. Growing up UNIT has its advantages.
“And what exactly do you do?” Jamie asked somewhat rudely.
“I’m a mechanic.”
“And you know about Jack?” Jamie turned to Ianto again. “I thought you were keeping you two a secret from the people at work?”
Ianto flushed again. “I was, we were, but Brendan is a friend and he’s not one of the people who would have made trouble. And besides,” he sighed. “Everyone knows now anyway.”
Jamie leaned back on the sofa and fixed Ianto with a pointed stare. “Whole story, Jones, now.”
Ianto smiled a little in relief. If Jamie was calling him Jones, he wasn’t all that angry anymore. Ianto took another drink of his beer and gave Jamie the whole story as best he could. He told Jamie and Brendan that Owen and Jack had disagreed about how “the firm” should be run but left out the bits about Diane and the weevils and the rift. He told them about Jack being attracted to another man but left out the parts where that man was also named Captain Jack Harkness and had died in 1941. Then he told them about a troublesome case revolving around one Bilis Manger, the mutiny, and the shooting - leaving out, of course, tiny details like Abaddon, the apocalypse, Jack’s death and subsequent revival redux. When he got to the part where Jack had kissed him in front of the entire “office” after he came back “from hospital” Jamie interrupted, spluttering indignantly.
“You mean he just outed you in front of everyone?”
“Yeah, well, no.” Ianto ran a hand through his hair. “Tosh knew I was seeing another man, but she didn’t know it was Jack.”
“But still… that’s not right, Ianto. He -” Jamie broke off, looking fierce.
“Jamie, it’s okay. I - there was so much going on then that I didn’t even really think about it like that,” Ianto said. And it was true. He wondered if he should have, if it made a difference.
“He took that from you, Ianto. That choice, that moment was yours, not his.” Jamie shook his head. “He shouldn’t have done that.”
Ianto thought about that moment in the Hub again, the joy at seeing Jack was alive, the embrace, the kiss, and shook his head. “No, it was - he didn’t mean it like that. He wasn’t outing me or anything like that he was… he was just happy, Jamie. Happy he was still alive, happy to see me.” Ianto’s voice faltered and Jamie slid closer to him, Brendan just watching them from the chair.
“What is it, Jones?”
“He was happy,” Ianto whispered. His eyes were unfocused, remembering. “He’d forgiven us, all of us, not just Owen. He… He didn’t leave because of what we did.”
Out of the corner of his eye, Ianto saw Jamie dart a worried glance at Brendan. He gave a watery chuckle at their concern.
“I’m okay, really. I just - see, he didn’t leave, didn’t leave me. He went to the D-” He bit his lip. “To wherever he went. Don’t you see?” He looked at Jamie and then at Brendan and felt the heavy weight of guilt slide off his shoulders. “It’s not my fault,” he whispered.
Jamie and Brendan were next to him instantly. Jamie grabbed his hand and Brendan rubbed his back, murmuring words of comfort as they touched him.
“Of course it’s not your fault,” Jamie said, the indignant note back in his voice.
“No wonder you’ve been such a wreck,” Brendan added.
“You know,” Jamie pointed out, “you didn’t have to do this alone. I would have been here in an instant. Sounds like Brendan would too,” he admitted.
Brendan and Ianto nodded simultaneously. “I know. I just didn’t want you to see me falling apart like that. Not again. And I was trying -” He stopped himself. He didn’t think either of them needed to hear about his pathetic and failed forays into telepathy.
“Trying to do it all on your own again,” Jamie growled. “Why do you think I made you promise to stay in touch? Why do you think I’ve been calling for weeks, Jones? You’re not alone. Even if Jack is gone for good.”
Ianto laughed. “You always were a mind reader, Smith,” he teased. “I had that exact same thought this morning. You,” Ianto reached for Brendan’s hand. “You reminded me of that. And you, Jamie, coming all this way just to yell at me. Thanks.”
Jamie grumbled again and pulled Ianto into a rough hug. “Daft sod. You always were.”
When Jamie pulled back his eyes were suspiciously bright. He sprang off the sofa with a muttered, “Be right back,” and hurried to the bath.
Ianto turned and smiled at Brendan. “Sorry for the therapy session,” he said softly. “We tend to do that a lot.”
Brendan ran a comforting hand through his hair. “Sounds like you needed it. I wish -” Brendan caught his lower lip between his teeth.
Ianto almost moaned at the sight of that adorably crooked tooth and tried to reign himself in. “What?” he asked.
“I wish I’d been able to do more. To help you.”
“Oh, Brendan, you did.” Ianto pulled him into a quick hug. “I don’t know what I would have done if you hadn’t shown up when you did. And I wouldn’t trade our weekend together for anything. I’m just sorry tonight got bollocksed up,” he said softly as he traced their linked fingers.
“Maybe it’s for the best,” Brendan whispered.
Ianto looked up and met Brendan’s eyes.
“Best?”
Brendan nodded. “It’s gonna be hard enough to leave you tomorrow. If we had another night together, it might be impossible.”
“Brendan, I -”
“Don’t you dare apologize again, Ianto. No regrets, right?”
Ianto swallowed and nodded. “No regrets.”
“Alright,” Jamie interrupted, clapping his hands together as he came back to the sofa. “Do we have enough beer here to do it up proper or do we need to head to the nearest pub?”
Brendan and Ianto shared one more smile before Ianto got up. “We’ve got enough beer and food, Smith. Even by your standards.”
“Excellent, Jones. Just what I wanted to hear. In the words of the immortal Judy, come on, lads, let’s get happy.”
Ianto laughed and went to fetch another round.
TBC in Chapter Twenty-Eight