Iscariot Part One
Title: Iscariot
Fandom: TGWTG
Characters: Linkara, Suede, Critic, ATG, Santa Christ, Ama, Spoony
Rating: PG
Warnings: Language
Summary: Linkara checks in with a few friends
Notes: Takes place in the Denny’s Court verse after “ Formal Assignments”and “ Dancing to Hell”, concurrently to the beginning of “ How Far Have We Fallen.” Ama created by ranguvar42. Used by permission.
Part Two
It was the wee hours of the morning and the sunlight was just breaking over the horizon when Critic was rudely awoken by a lot of banging in the kitchen. He disentangled himself from Ama without waking her and found a pair of pants before stomping into the kitchen, where his bad mood was immediately increased by the two people sitting at his kitchen table.
“Fuck’s sake!” he exclaimed. “It’s six in the morning! Couldn’t you two have waited until a decent hour?”
“There’s no need for that, Douglas,” Guy said pleasantly. “After all, we are your brothers.”
“Be quiet, Guy,” Santa Christ ordered quietly. “We’re here on business.”
“What business?” Critic asked sourly, sinking into a chair. “I already told Spoony that we won’t help with his stupid threshold…”
“It’s not about that,” Santa Christ said. “It’s about an angel and a demon who went out last night.”
“With each other,” Guy added. “Dinner, dancing, dress up…you name it.”
“So?” Critic asked. “I fail to see how that warrants a visit from the two of you.”
Santa Christ sighed. “They were fraternizing. Breaking the rules. And the demon made my angel doubt herself and her purpose.”
“Still doesn’t explain what the fuck you’re doing here,” Critic said.
“Well,” Guy said, grinning widely. “Because they both needed to learn a lesson, they’ve been sent to Earth as mortals to think about what they’ve done.”
“I see,” Critic said. “And let me guess-they’re both in this city so they’re now my problem?”
“Yes,” Santa Christ said. “The angel’s name is Little Miss Gamer…the guardian angel who watches over babies and small animals…”
“And Father Suede,” Guy added. “The demon you know-an incubus name Benzaie, who’s been stalking Father Suede for the last few years.”
“Wait a hot second,” Critic interrupted. “What the fuck was a guardian angel doing, dancing with an incubus who’s stalking one of her main charges?”
“She says that they made a deal,” Santa Christ said. “One night out with a demon in exchange for a night of peace for the priest. Though I doubt that a night of dancing was all Benzaie was after…”
“Nothing else happened,” Guy interjected. “For all our efforts.”
“But there could still be a plan at work,” Santa Christ continued, glaring at Guy.
“Not that we know of,” Guy said defensively. “Point is, Douglas, we’re telling you this so you can supervise them both. Make sure they don’t do anything that would compromise their chances of getting home.”
“So you’re asking me to make sure an angel is perfectly good and a demon is perfectly bad?” Critic asked in disgust.
“You better than anyone know what is expected of them,” Santa Christ said. “And I’m also depending on you to keep Little Miss Gamer safe.”
“I’m not giving you that charge for Benzaie,” Guy said. “He can look after himself…and if he can’t, he deserves what he gets.”
“Fuck,” Critic muttered. “Rob, you’re omnipotent, aren’t you? Can’t you watch her yourself?”
Santa Christ shook his head. “I have more important matters to see to,” he said. “And I can’t defend her from immediate threats.” He glared at Guy as he said that.
Critic glanced at his twin and noticed a burn on his neck. “Wait…you were trying to mack on an angel?” he asked, a grin starting to creep over his face.
“Shut up,” Guy muttered. “I didn’t realize she was out with someone else.”
“You see why I need someone keeping an eye on her?” Santa Christ asked.
“Yeah,” Critic said. “I get it.”
“Good,” Santa Christ said. He glanced at the clock on the wall. “We should be going…lots to do, above and below.”
“Don’t let me hold you up,” Critic said sarcastically.
“Always so pleasant to talk to you,” Guy said as he stood up.
Before they could leave, there was a frantic knock on the door and it opened to reveal Linkara, looking rather exhausted. Critic sighed and buried his face in his hands. Was everyone in the universe determined to ruin his morning?
“Oh, guten morgen, Linkara,” Guy said pleasantly. “Didn’t hear you come in.”
“Oh sweet merciful crap,” Linkara muttered as he saw Critic’s other visitors. “What the hell is going on here?”
“That’s a very good question,” Guy began.
Santa Christ cut him off. “I’m assuming you’re here for a reason?” he asked Linkara gently.
“Yes,” Linkara said. “Spoony got a very interesting picture this morning of an angel and a demon…”
“That’s what we were just discussing,” Santa Christ said. “And I can assure you that your Court doesn’t have anything to worry about. The matter has been dealt with.”
“Oh,” Linkara said. “So…what’s going on?”
“Just what you saw,” Guy said. “Angel and demon went out dancing last night, and they have been duly punished. They’ll be hanging around the city for a while, but they shouldn’t cause any problems.”
Linkara looked to Santa Christ, who nodded. “They won’t,” he said. “And if they do, you can bring complaint to Critic and we’ll hear about it.”
Linkara nodded. “Okay,” he said. “I was just worried because the demon’s been harassing the priest…”
“We know,” all three brothers said.
“Doesn’t help that his guardian angel was the one he was dancing with,” Critic added sulkily.
“Oh God,” Linkara muttered.
“Father Suede is fine,” Santa Christ interrupted. “At least, he should be right now.”
“I’m still going to check on him,” Linkara said. “Spoony’s orders.”
“Please do,” Santa Christ said. “And right now, Guy and I are going to get out of your hair.”
“Good,” Linkara said. “Because unless you’re helping with the threshold, Spoony doesn’t want you in his city.” Everyone understood that Linkara meant that he didn’t want them in the city, but no one objected.
“I told you before, we cannot interfere,” Santa Christ said. “But you must keep a wary eye, Linkara. Your greatest trial is about to begin.”
Before Linkara could ask more, Santa Christ snapped his fingers and vanished. Guy smirked at him for a moment before he, too, vanished, leaving a faint scent of brimstone behind.
Linkara turned to Critic. “What the hell just happened?” he asked.
“Don’t ask me,” Critic sighed. “I’ve given up trying to understand them.” He got up, scowling. “I’m sure you can show yourself out,” he said grumpily as he stomped back to the bedroom.
Ama was awake, looking very confused. “Doug? What was all the noise about?”
He rolled his eyes as he climbed back into bed. “Just my brothers giving me more work to do,” he said. “Nothing you need to worry about.”