Marauders to the End: Year One, Chapter Seventeen
TITLE: Remus's Easter Nightmare
FANDOM: Harry Potter
CHARACTERS: Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, James Potter, Peter Pettigrew, Lily Evans, OCs
RATING: PG-13
WARNINGS: None
SUMMARY: Too much homework combined with a full moon means a lot of weird dreams.
AUTHOR COMMENTARY: Honestly, this is the funniest chapter I've written to date. It's what comes of a lab partner who loves Bubblegum music. Also, the Professor Fenris incident is something that actually happened at summer camp, though a bit toned down.
Exam time was upon them. Well, not really, but the way the teachers were piling up on their homework, the first-years felt that they only had three days to prepare for tests that they had three months to study for.
“What the hell is he thinking?” Sirius spat angrily one night towards the end of March. He was working on an essay for Professor Fenris that was even worse than the one that had been set two months before.
“He’s thinking that if he gives us enough work, we won’t get into trouble,” James answered sourly. “McGonagall seems to be thinking the same way.”
“How long does this have to be?” Peter moaned.
“Seven rolls of parchment for McGonagall,” Sirius snarled. “And fifteen for Fenris.”
“Is he receiving a commission from the parchment manufacturing industry?” Remus asked. “Or does he merely enjoy destroying the hardwood growth of Canada?”
“He just likes making us suffer,” Sirius answered. He was starting to understand Smart Person, even when it didn’t directly affect his breakfast, although he hadn’t learned to speak it yet.
“And what exactly is it on?” James asked, looking through his notes.
“‘Describe a hypothetical situation in which you may be required to make use of a defensive spell or jinx that has not been discussed in class. Research this jinx or spell and write an essay at least fifteen rolls in length, including parenthetical references, describing historical situations in which this spell has been used, the affects of this jinx or spell, and how it might be countered. Handwriting may not be larger than the period at the end of this sentence,’” Sirius reeled off. “I have a funny feeling he gave us the wrong assignment, and this was meant for the seventh years.”
“I dunno,” James snapped. “Why don’t you go ask some of the seventh years?”
“I think I will,” Sirius snapped back. He got up and went over to some seventh years who were working diligently.
“You know,” Remus sighed, looking at the books spread in front of them. “I wouldn’t be surprised if we were in our seventh year before we finished this.”
Peter nodded. “I don’t even know what parenthetical references are,” he said sadly.
“It’s when you put the source you used in parenthesis after a quote or fact,” Remus explained. “That means he’ll probably want a bibliography as well.”
“What’s the point of this?” James asked. “None of the other teachers want all this nonsense.”
“Yeah, well, look at the seven rolls we’re supposed to write for McGonagall,” Peter said as Sirius sat down again.
“I was wrong,” Sirius sighed. “The seventh years have a debate case to write over the Unforgivable Curses and whether or not it’s permissible to use them in a threatening dueling situation, and they have to write twenty rolls, complete with examples, sources, and parenthetical references, and present it to the class.”
“Merlin, I hope Fenris is gone by the time we’re seventh years,” James whined.
“With the current trend in Defense Against the Dark Arts teachers, it’s very likely,” Remus said. “Meanwhile, we have to write these essays.”
Monday morning, the four boys arrived in DADA heavily weighed down with parchment. No one else looked much better off.
“What the hell was he thinking?” they heard Lily Evans ask Rosie Campbell as they sat down. “I could barely carry this essay down the stairs.”
“I hope the bibliography counts towards the parchment count,” Rosie responded. “Because if it doesn’t, I’m five rolls short.”
Professor Fenris charged in a moment later. “I want your essays,” he shouted, flicking his wand so the parchments came to him. “Now get down and do fifty Fenris push-ups!”
“Fifty?” Peter moaned.
“NOW!”
The class groaned but did as they were told. At least, a few of them did. Many keeled over from exhaustion. James and Sirius managed all fifty. Remus gave out after about thirty-three, and Peter dropped after only twelve. In fact, the only person besides James and Sirius to make it to fifty was Rosie Campbell, Ivy Amore haven given up after forty-five, and Lily Evans having completely fainted after twenty-two.
“Now,” Fenris said when they were finished and various people had been revived. “The next time there are chocolate muffins at breakfast and Professor Fenris wants a chocolate muffin, you will give him a chocolate muffin. Comprende?”
The class nodded, too exhausted to speak.
Needless to say, what with one thing and another, March passed extremely quickly, and before any of the first years knew what was happening, April had come around. Spring had arrived, along with the Easter holidays.
Easter wasn’t as relaxing as Christmas. For one thing, the homework had not eased. For another, Remus had always hated Easter. It was irritating to have a religious holiday based around the first full moon of spring. He couldn’t enjoy it.
The last straw for Remus came on the Saturday before Easter.
He went to bed early, due to his exhaustion from the recent full moon and insane work load, and had one of the worst nightmares of his life.
Bunnies were chasing him.
Fluffy bunnies were chasing him.
Pink fluffy bunnies were chasing him.
He was being chased through a field of singing flowers and rainbows. He was trying to get to a perfectly normal forest, but no matter how hard he ran, the bunnies got closer. They finally caught him and started jumping on him, with the flowers still singing Bubblegum music, which no one at Hogwarts had been able to avoid.
Sugar, ah honey, honey
You are my candy girl
And you've got me wanting you.
Honey, ah sugar, sugar
You are my candy girl
And you got me wanting you...
Remus woke up screaming.
“What’s the matter?” Peter gasped as the other three woke up.
“Pink, fluffy bunnies... singing flowers... rainbows...” Remus whimpered.
“What about them?” Sirius asked.
“It was my nightmare.”
James and Sirius looked at each other, perplexed. Peter was equally confused, but for a different reason.
“Um, Remus?” Peter said. “You’re describing my boxers.”
“WHAT?!” James and Sirius shrieked as they burst out laughing.
“Don’t laugh! My sister bought them, and I only wear them on laundry day...”
“It’s not just that,” James gasped, tears running down his face. “Although it is hilarious that you have boxers with pink bunnies and rainbows on them. My question is why is Remus having nightmares about them?”
“I honestly did not know that,” Remus snapped defensively. “I usually have nightmares around Easter due to the full moon and all that. This is just the first time that they’ve involved anything as frightening as pink bunnies and flowers singing ‘Sugar, Sugar.’”
James and Sirius didn’t stop laughing for the rest of the night. Remus groaned and buried his head in his pillow to block out the sounds of mirth and James and Sirius attempting to sing “Sugar, Sugar.” Remus reflected that he shouldn’t have mentioned that song. There were times and places to sing the Archies, and this was definitely not one of them.
Peter had similar reflections. He decided that never again would he tell his friends about anything his sister gave him. He knew that James and Sirius wouldn’t shut up about this for the rest of the year. He also made a mental note to burn that particular pair of boxers as soon as he could.
Either way, none of them got any more sleep that night.
Morning came, along with an owl from James’s mother bearing enough chocolate to feed an army.
“Excellent,” James said. “She sent some for all of us.”
“You mean you’re going to share?” Sirius teased.
“Of course,” James said. “There’s no way I could eat twelve pounds of chocolate by myself. This should keep the four of us fed till the end of the year.”
“May I ask why your mother thought we needed a three pounds of chocolate each?” Peter asked.
“Who cares?” Sirius said.
James passed around the chocolate. “See, Remus?” he said cheerfully. “Easter’s not so bad after all.”
“No,” Remus agreed. “Especially since you two have stopped singing. Now let’s get the rest of our work done.”
That put a quick end to their merriment as they remembered that Fenris had set another fifteen scroll essay.
FANDOM: Harry Potter
CHARACTERS: Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, James Potter, Peter Pettigrew, Lily Evans, OCs
RATING: PG-13
WARNINGS: None
SUMMARY: Too much homework combined with a full moon means a lot of weird dreams.
AUTHOR COMMENTARY: Honestly, this is the funniest chapter I've written to date. It's what comes of a lab partner who loves Bubblegum music. Also, the Professor Fenris incident is something that actually happened at summer camp, though a bit toned down.
Exam time was upon them. Well, not really, but the way the teachers were piling up on their homework, the first-years felt that they only had three days to prepare for tests that they had three months to study for.
“What the hell is he thinking?” Sirius spat angrily one night towards the end of March. He was working on an essay for Professor Fenris that was even worse than the one that had been set two months before.
“He’s thinking that if he gives us enough work, we won’t get into trouble,” James answered sourly. “McGonagall seems to be thinking the same way.”
“How long does this have to be?” Peter moaned.
“Seven rolls of parchment for McGonagall,” Sirius snarled. “And fifteen for Fenris.”
“Is he receiving a commission from the parchment manufacturing industry?” Remus asked. “Or does he merely enjoy destroying the hardwood growth of Canada?”
“He just likes making us suffer,” Sirius answered. He was starting to understand Smart Person, even when it didn’t directly affect his breakfast, although he hadn’t learned to speak it yet.
“And what exactly is it on?” James asked, looking through his notes.
“‘Describe a hypothetical situation in which you may be required to make use of a defensive spell or jinx that has not been discussed in class. Research this jinx or spell and write an essay at least fifteen rolls in length, including parenthetical references, describing historical situations in which this spell has been used, the affects of this jinx or spell, and how it might be countered. Handwriting may not be larger than the period at the end of this sentence,’” Sirius reeled off. “I have a funny feeling he gave us the wrong assignment, and this was meant for the seventh years.”
“I dunno,” James snapped. “Why don’t you go ask some of the seventh years?”
“I think I will,” Sirius snapped back. He got up and went over to some seventh years who were working diligently.
“You know,” Remus sighed, looking at the books spread in front of them. “I wouldn’t be surprised if we were in our seventh year before we finished this.”
Peter nodded. “I don’t even know what parenthetical references are,” he said sadly.
“It’s when you put the source you used in parenthesis after a quote or fact,” Remus explained. “That means he’ll probably want a bibliography as well.”
“What’s the point of this?” James asked. “None of the other teachers want all this nonsense.”
“Yeah, well, look at the seven rolls we’re supposed to write for McGonagall,” Peter said as Sirius sat down again.
“I was wrong,” Sirius sighed. “The seventh years have a debate case to write over the Unforgivable Curses and whether or not it’s permissible to use them in a threatening dueling situation, and they have to write twenty rolls, complete with examples, sources, and parenthetical references, and present it to the class.”
“Merlin, I hope Fenris is gone by the time we’re seventh years,” James whined.
“With the current trend in Defense Against the Dark Arts teachers, it’s very likely,” Remus said. “Meanwhile, we have to write these essays.”
Monday morning, the four boys arrived in DADA heavily weighed down with parchment. No one else looked much better off.
“What the hell was he thinking?” they heard Lily Evans ask Rosie Campbell as they sat down. “I could barely carry this essay down the stairs.”
“I hope the bibliography counts towards the parchment count,” Rosie responded. “Because if it doesn’t, I’m five rolls short.”
Professor Fenris charged in a moment later. “I want your essays,” he shouted, flicking his wand so the parchments came to him. “Now get down and do fifty Fenris push-ups!”
“Fifty?” Peter moaned.
“NOW!”
The class groaned but did as they were told. At least, a few of them did. Many keeled over from exhaustion. James and Sirius managed all fifty. Remus gave out after about thirty-three, and Peter dropped after only twelve. In fact, the only person besides James and Sirius to make it to fifty was Rosie Campbell, Ivy Amore haven given up after forty-five, and Lily Evans having completely fainted after twenty-two.
“Now,” Fenris said when they were finished and various people had been revived. “The next time there are chocolate muffins at breakfast and Professor Fenris wants a chocolate muffin, you will give him a chocolate muffin. Comprende?”
The class nodded, too exhausted to speak.
Needless to say, what with one thing and another, March passed extremely quickly, and before any of the first years knew what was happening, April had come around. Spring had arrived, along with the Easter holidays.
Easter wasn’t as relaxing as Christmas. For one thing, the homework had not eased. For another, Remus had always hated Easter. It was irritating to have a religious holiday based around the first full moon of spring. He couldn’t enjoy it.
The last straw for Remus came on the Saturday before Easter.
He went to bed early, due to his exhaustion from the recent full moon and insane work load, and had one of the worst nightmares of his life.
Bunnies were chasing him.
Fluffy bunnies were chasing him.
Pink fluffy bunnies were chasing him.
He was being chased through a field of singing flowers and rainbows. He was trying to get to a perfectly normal forest, but no matter how hard he ran, the bunnies got closer. They finally caught him and started jumping on him, with the flowers still singing Bubblegum music, which no one at Hogwarts had been able to avoid.
Sugar, ah honey, honey
You are my candy girl
And you've got me wanting you.
Honey, ah sugar, sugar
You are my candy girl
And you got me wanting you...
Remus woke up screaming.
“What’s the matter?” Peter gasped as the other three woke up.
“Pink, fluffy bunnies... singing flowers... rainbows...” Remus whimpered.
“What about them?” Sirius asked.
“It was my nightmare.”
James and Sirius looked at each other, perplexed. Peter was equally confused, but for a different reason.
“Um, Remus?” Peter said. “You’re describing my boxers.”
“WHAT?!” James and Sirius shrieked as they burst out laughing.
“Don’t laugh! My sister bought them, and I only wear them on laundry day...”
“It’s not just that,” James gasped, tears running down his face. “Although it is hilarious that you have boxers with pink bunnies and rainbows on them. My question is why is Remus having nightmares about them?”
“I honestly did not know that,” Remus snapped defensively. “I usually have nightmares around Easter due to the full moon and all that. This is just the first time that they’ve involved anything as frightening as pink bunnies and flowers singing ‘Sugar, Sugar.’”
James and Sirius didn’t stop laughing for the rest of the night. Remus groaned and buried his head in his pillow to block out the sounds of mirth and James and Sirius attempting to sing “Sugar, Sugar.” Remus reflected that he shouldn’t have mentioned that song. There were times and places to sing the Archies, and this was definitely not one of them.
Peter had similar reflections. He decided that never again would he tell his friends about anything his sister gave him. He knew that James and Sirius wouldn’t shut up about this for the rest of the year. He also made a mental note to burn that particular pair of boxers as soon as he could.
Either way, none of them got any more sleep that night.
Morning came, along with an owl from James’s mother bearing enough chocolate to feed an army.
“Excellent,” James said. “She sent some for all of us.”
“You mean you’re going to share?” Sirius teased.
“Of course,” James said. “There’s no way I could eat twelve pounds of chocolate by myself. This should keep the four of us fed till the end of the year.”
“May I ask why your mother thought we needed a three pounds of chocolate each?” Peter asked.
“Who cares?” Sirius said.
James passed around the chocolate. “See, Remus?” he said cheerfully. “Easter’s not so bad after all.”
“No,” Remus agreed. “Especially since you two have stopped singing. Now let’s get the rest of our work done.”
That put a quick end to their merriment as they remembered that Fenris had set another fifteen scroll essay.