Reaction fic to "Journey's End" (3/9)
This one's due to Tristan (te_non_sum) having an idea while I was bibbling at him.
Nine Ways Donna Noble Had a Fantastic Life
by ChristinaK
copyright 2008
TONIGHT ON BBC Radio 4:
COMEDY
CHAIN REACTION
22 February - March 13 2009
Thursday 6.30 - 7pm
The Radio 4 talk show with a twist.
Donna Noble interviews Stephen Fry, and Stephen Fry strikes back.
"Right, so, the alien invasions. Anyone else sleep through them?"
laughter
"Did you actually, as a matter of record, sleep through them?"
"Canary wharf, in Spain sleeping on a beach. I was hungover and blessedly near-comatose, Christmas 2005. Getting married, ditched at the altar, then drinking myself blotto, Christmas 2006. Out of town having a kip in a B&B for the Titanic thing, 2007. And, for the win: stomach flu that left me completely oblivious to the planet moving, 2008!"
applause and laughter
"That... is absolutely the most unbelievable luck. Ever."
"I know! If I'm ever actually around for one of these things, we know the world's really ending. And you, what, you got injured every time, right? Broken arm with the planet re-location--"
"Greenstick fracture with nerve damage. Horrifically painful. I thought I hallucinated the other planets going away, I was on so many drugs. It was mildly terrifying."
"And you got a concussion falling off a car roof when the Christmas star thing happened?"
"Apparently. I stood on top of my car-- we were on location fifty miles from Lagos, there was nothing higher, you understand--"
"What, you couldn't find a tree to climb?"
"There are no trees in the Namibian Desert. Well, that part, anyway."
"The aliens got them."
"Most likely."
"Bastards. Tree-stealing bastards... So you're shooting a mini-series, right? Every Fifty States of America? Going to be broadcast next year?"
"Yes, it was wonderful, apart from the odd bit of bone-breaking and getting lost in Chicago. And I understand you're appearing in a new film next year, now that your show has closed? Didn't you break some record at the West End?"
catcalls of amusement, cheers
"Highest attendance, one-person show, last ten years, thank-you-very-much. And yeah, we start shooting on location in Canada, next week. And I get to snog Daniel Craig. Daniel Craig!"
"You're not being a Bond girl, are you?"
"Oi! Just for that, I'm not telling you anything more, Fry!"
Ianto broke into snickers, and Gwen chuckled, then threw a spitball at him. "Concentrate! Jack'll be back any minute, we need to have this re-calibrated by then."
"Working on it. Working on it." He chuckled under his breath, then added, "Still. You have to admit she's funny."
"She's brilliant. And it unnerves Jack for some reason, so switch the channel already, will you?"
"Switching over," Ianto agreed. There was always the podcast, later. Although some day he'd have to get Jack to explain why he didn't want to watch The Donna Noble Comedy Hour.
Nine Ways Donna Noble Had a Fantastic Life
by ChristinaK
copyright 2008
TONIGHT ON BBC Radio 4:
COMEDY
CHAIN REACTION
22 February - March 13 2009
Thursday 6.30 - 7pm
The Radio 4 talk show with a twist.
Donna Noble interviews Stephen Fry, and Stephen Fry strikes back.
"Right, so, the alien invasions. Anyone else sleep through them?"
laughter
"Did you actually, as a matter of record, sleep through them?"
"Canary wharf, in Spain sleeping on a beach. I was hungover and blessedly near-comatose, Christmas 2005. Getting married, ditched at the altar, then drinking myself blotto, Christmas 2006. Out of town having a kip in a B&B for the Titanic thing, 2007. And, for the win: stomach flu that left me completely oblivious to the planet moving, 2008!"
applause and laughter
"That... is absolutely the most unbelievable luck. Ever."
"I know! If I'm ever actually around for one of these things, we know the world's really ending. And you, what, you got injured every time, right? Broken arm with the planet re-location--"
"Greenstick fracture with nerve damage. Horrifically painful. I thought I hallucinated the other planets going away, I was on so many drugs. It was mildly terrifying."
"And you got a concussion falling off a car roof when the Christmas star thing happened?"
"Apparently. I stood on top of my car-- we were on location fifty miles from Lagos, there was nothing higher, you understand--"
"What, you couldn't find a tree to climb?"
"There are no trees in the Namibian Desert. Well, that part, anyway."
"The aliens got them."
"Most likely."
"Bastards. Tree-stealing bastards... So you're shooting a mini-series, right? Every Fifty States of America? Going to be broadcast next year?"
"Yes, it was wonderful, apart from the odd bit of bone-breaking and getting lost in Chicago. And I understand you're appearing in a new film next year, now that your show has closed? Didn't you break some record at the West End?"
catcalls of amusement, cheers
"Highest attendance, one-person show, last ten years, thank-you-very-much. And yeah, we start shooting on location in Canada, next week. And I get to snog Daniel Craig. Daniel Craig!"
"You're not being a Bond girl, are you?"
"Oi! Just for that, I'm not telling you anything more, Fry!"
Ianto broke into snickers, and Gwen chuckled, then threw a spitball at him. "Concentrate! Jack'll be back any minute, we need to have this re-calibrated by then."
"Working on it. Working on it." He chuckled under his breath, then added, "Still. You have to admit she's funny."
"She's brilliant. And it unnerves Jack for some reason, so switch the channel already, will you?"
"Switching over," Ianto agreed. There was always the podcast, later. Although some day he'd have to get Jack to explain why he didn't want to watch The Donna Noble Comedy Hour.