Five Ways Miss Parker & Jarod Didn't Meet (Pretender fic, 4/6)
Go here for Part 1, disclaimers, acknowledgments, summary. Part 2 is here. Part 3 is here.
4. Prisoner’s Dilemma, Extended Dance Remix
“Drop the gun, Mira. You don’t have to do this.”
She didn’t drop it, just tightened her grip, keeping it aimed at his face. “Yes, I do.”
Jarod’s expression cleared into one of realization. “You were going to leave me here for them to find all along. From the first minute we started planning our escape, the first time we communicated through the walls.” His voice was shaky, instead of the anger she’d expected. Pain. God, she’d hurt him. She hadn’t realized how badly this would wound him, and now it was hitting her, feedback from his emotions intensifying her own regret. It was never easy to stop simming someone, but this was a whole new level of horrible. “How can you turn me over to them?”
“I’m not.” Her palms were sweating. Fear was making the night sounds, the moonlight, the scent of dogwoods, all of it, more vivid. Jagged on her nerves, and she’d revel in the newness of the world if she weren’t so close to being sick. “I wouldn’t do that to you. But I can’t let them find me, Jarod. I can not go back there.” She swallowed. “If they catch you, you’ll tell them where you think I was headed. How we broke out. How we planned it. Everything.”
“I’d never give them that, you know-"
“Not willingly,” Mira interrupted him. “Not at first. I know that. I believe you.” She did know him, from lonely nights spent tapping out signals, and nightmares spelled out in clicks on the wall. Rare e-mails disguised as spam poetry, and a voice in a vent, once. They were the same. Neither of them was that brutal a monster.
“Then why?”
How could he not know? Why didn’t he have a knife ready for her, a gun hidden at their tunnel exit point like she’d hidden one, a rope, poison? Or had he been planning to strangle her with his bare hands? In the dappled shadows under the trees outside the Centre, she could see him watching her in disbelief, not even tensing to attack. Not reaching for her, or looking for a weapon. She’d been ready; why hadn’t he?
“We’re each a liability to each other. Don’t you see that? The instant one of us is caught, it’ll only be a matter of days before the other one is tracked down, after the first breaks and talks. They might even force one of us to sim where the other went. I am not going to be dragged back to a hyperbaric chamber and needles in my arms and another round of their tests and wondering when Lyle is going to break the code on my door. I’m not.” Her voice was rising, and she’d taken another step away from him, even as she’d adjusted the sights of the gun onto his heart. Her voice dropped. “But I won’t let them do that to you, either.”
“You’re putting me out of my misery?” Jarod’s voice was quiet now, gentle, and she didn’t deserve forgiveness for this, but of all people, he would understand. Had no choice but to understand, even though it wasn’t fair to either of them. Just like everything else.
“I’m not leaving you behind. I promised you months ago, when we first planned how we could break out, that I wouldn’t do that to you.” Her voice was cracking. Damnit. “You don’t deserve that. You’ll be free, Jarod.”
“If you really believe that… then do it, Mira. Kill me. Here and now.”
Both hands on the gun. She’d simmed this a hundred times. Killers, soldiers, executioners, spies. Steadied her stance.
Froze.
Her fingers wouldn’t move on the trigger. She just kept staring at his face, dark eyes watching her, not resigned, angry now, daring her, and she was trying to do it. Trying. Trying. Waiting to hear dogs baying, and sirens, and gunfire; and the pursuit that had to come for them eventually, something that would force her to go through with it, and it was just her and Jarod and the crickets and the wind….
And the next thing she knew, he had the gun in his hand, pointed at her head, hand steadier than hers had been. She closed her eyes, waiting for the bullet, then forced them open with her last reserves of courage. Jarod's face was blank now. Expressionless.
Mira hated herself, and wondered if Raines had been right; if all her genius and perception came down to being too fragile to withstand reality, too emotional, just like he’d always said. Felt fury that Jarod had won just by being stronger, and picking his moment for when she was weakest. Served her right for hesitating, grieving for someone she'd only talked to for three minutes.
Then he cocked the safety on the gun, and pointed it at the ground, smirking. “You won’t get away from me that easily.”
She stared at him, completely baffled, as Jarod put the gun in the bag she’d prepared for the escape. “What?”
“Come on, Mira. It’s just getting interesting.” He took a step toward her, and Jarod’s tone became wheedling, teasing. “Don’t tell me you’re going to give up at the first challenge, or this game won’t be any fun at all.”
“It’s not a game, you moron.” She wanted to hit him, or scream, but the best she could do was stand there, disoriented and lost. Why hadn’t he shot her? “Winner takes all. Life, liberty, happiness. Whoever can elude the Centre the longest wins.”
“I think the game will last longer if we play on the same team.” He was invading her personal space, not touching her, but close enough that he was shielding her from the wind, close enough to hear the warmth in his voice. “Do you really want to be out here alone?”
“That’s what we planned! To split up, and make it harder for them to track us. Keep them confused, lay false trails….” Except in a flash, she realized that had never been Jarod’s plan, any more than leaving him behind to be recaptured by the Centre had been hers. “You lied.”
Jarod’s voice was as dry as clean room atmosphere. “So did you. You don’t see me holding a grudge, do you?”
Which led to only one rather startling conclusion: “You’re insane.”
“And you’re far more ruthless than I thought. Even if your conscience did win out this time.” He tilted his head, watching her, studying her the way she studied construction plans, electrical designs, codes for computer security systems. It should have been more unnerving. “Which is going to make this even more fun than I expected.”
Her lips twitched. Only a Pretender would understand what a blatant compliment that was.
Jarod grinned, and gestured toward the path. “Shall we?”
This was such a bad idea. “It'll never work. If we get caught-"
“I promise to shoot you first.” Jarod’s voice was light, but she could hear the promise underneath it, the same one she’d tapped out to him in their cells: I won’t leave you behind.
She snorted, and cut ahead of him on the trail out to the highway. “Save the flirting for later, Jarod.”
"We're flirting?" Surprise, and almost childish delight.
She rolled her eyes, and caught herself smirking. "Maybe."
"Maybe? How can you tell?" She kept silent, trying not to laugh. "Mira…."
She didn't say anything more for the entire three-mile walk to the main road, no matter how hard he tried to get her to talk. Which if he'd thought about it for two minutes, or known anything significant about women, would have been answer enough.
She decided not to let him in on that. Not yet, anyway.
1. Meet Cute
2. Tommy Girl
3. Stockholm is for Suckers
4. Prisoner's Dilemma, Extended Dance Remix
5. White Leopard Habitat
6. Unique Snowflakes
4. Prisoner’s Dilemma, Extended Dance Remix
“Drop the gun, Mira. You don’t have to do this.”
She didn’t drop it, just tightened her grip, keeping it aimed at his face. “Yes, I do.”
Jarod’s expression cleared into one of realization. “You were going to leave me here for them to find all along. From the first minute we started planning our escape, the first time we communicated through the walls.” His voice was shaky, instead of the anger she’d expected. Pain. God, she’d hurt him. She hadn’t realized how badly this would wound him, and now it was hitting her, feedback from his emotions intensifying her own regret. It was never easy to stop simming someone, but this was a whole new level of horrible. “How can you turn me over to them?”
“I’m not.” Her palms were sweating. Fear was making the night sounds, the moonlight, the scent of dogwoods, all of it, more vivid. Jagged on her nerves, and she’d revel in the newness of the world if she weren’t so close to being sick. “I wouldn’t do that to you. But I can’t let them find me, Jarod. I can not go back there.” She swallowed. “If they catch you, you’ll tell them where you think I was headed. How we broke out. How we planned it. Everything.”
“I’d never give them that, you know-"
“Not willingly,” Mira interrupted him. “Not at first. I know that. I believe you.” She did know him, from lonely nights spent tapping out signals, and nightmares spelled out in clicks on the wall. Rare e-mails disguised as spam poetry, and a voice in a vent, once. They were the same. Neither of them was that brutal a monster.
“Then why?”
How could he not know? Why didn’t he have a knife ready for her, a gun hidden at their tunnel exit point like she’d hidden one, a rope, poison? Or had he been planning to strangle her with his bare hands? In the dappled shadows under the trees outside the Centre, she could see him watching her in disbelief, not even tensing to attack. Not reaching for her, or looking for a weapon. She’d been ready; why hadn’t he?
“We’re each a liability to each other. Don’t you see that? The instant one of us is caught, it’ll only be a matter of days before the other one is tracked down, after the first breaks and talks. They might even force one of us to sim where the other went. I am not going to be dragged back to a hyperbaric chamber and needles in my arms and another round of their tests and wondering when Lyle is going to break the code on my door. I’m not.” Her voice was rising, and she’d taken another step away from him, even as she’d adjusted the sights of the gun onto his heart. Her voice dropped. “But I won’t let them do that to you, either.”
“You’re putting me out of my misery?” Jarod’s voice was quiet now, gentle, and she didn’t deserve forgiveness for this, but of all people, he would understand. Had no choice but to understand, even though it wasn’t fair to either of them. Just like everything else.
“I’m not leaving you behind. I promised you months ago, when we first planned how we could break out, that I wouldn’t do that to you.” Her voice was cracking. Damnit. “You don’t deserve that. You’ll be free, Jarod.”
“If you really believe that… then do it, Mira. Kill me. Here and now.”
Both hands on the gun. She’d simmed this a hundred times. Killers, soldiers, executioners, spies. Steadied her stance.
Froze.
Her fingers wouldn’t move on the trigger. She just kept staring at his face, dark eyes watching her, not resigned, angry now, daring her, and she was trying to do it. Trying. Trying. Waiting to hear dogs baying, and sirens, and gunfire; and the pursuit that had to come for them eventually, something that would force her to go through with it, and it was just her and Jarod and the crickets and the wind….
And the next thing she knew, he had the gun in his hand, pointed at her head, hand steadier than hers had been. She closed her eyes, waiting for the bullet, then forced them open with her last reserves of courage. Jarod's face was blank now. Expressionless.
Mira hated herself, and wondered if Raines had been right; if all her genius and perception came down to being too fragile to withstand reality, too emotional, just like he’d always said. Felt fury that Jarod had won just by being stronger, and picking his moment for when she was weakest. Served her right for hesitating, grieving for someone she'd only talked to for three minutes.
Then he cocked the safety on the gun, and pointed it at the ground, smirking. “You won’t get away from me that easily.”
She stared at him, completely baffled, as Jarod put the gun in the bag she’d prepared for the escape. “What?”
“Come on, Mira. It’s just getting interesting.” He took a step toward her, and Jarod’s tone became wheedling, teasing. “Don’t tell me you’re going to give up at the first challenge, or this game won’t be any fun at all.”
“It’s not a game, you moron.” She wanted to hit him, or scream, but the best she could do was stand there, disoriented and lost. Why hadn’t he shot her? “Winner takes all. Life, liberty, happiness. Whoever can elude the Centre the longest wins.”
“I think the game will last longer if we play on the same team.” He was invading her personal space, not touching her, but close enough that he was shielding her from the wind, close enough to hear the warmth in his voice. “Do you really want to be out here alone?”
“That’s what we planned! To split up, and make it harder for them to track us. Keep them confused, lay false trails….” Except in a flash, she realized that had never been Jarod’s plan, any more than leaving him behind to be recaptured by the Centre had been hers. “You lied.”
Jarod’s voice was as dry as clean room atmosphere. “So did you. You don’t see me holding a grudge, do you?”
Which led to only one rather startling conclusion: “You’re insane.”
“And you’re far more ruthless than I thought. Even if your conscience did win out this time.” He tilted his head, watching her, studying her the way she studied construction plans, electrical designs, codes for computer security systems. It should have been more unnerving. “Which is going to make this even more fun than I expected.”
Her lips twitched. Only a Pretender would understand what a blatant compliment that was.
Jarod grinned, and gestured toward the path. “Shall we?”
This was such a bad idea. “It'll never work. If we get caught-"
“I promise to shoot you first.” Jarod’s voice was light, but she could hear the promise underneath it, the same one she’d tapped out to him in their cells: I won’t leave you behind.
She snorted, and cut ahead of him on the trail out to the highway. “Save the flirting for later, Jarod.”
"We're flirting?" Surprise, and almost childish delight.
She rolled her eyes, and caught herself smirking. "Maybe."
"Maybe? How can you tell?" She kept silent, trying not to laugh. "Mira…."
She didn't say anything more for the entire three-mile walk to the main road, no matter how hard he tried to get her to talk. Which if he'd thought about it for two minutes, or known anything significant about women, would have been answer enough.
She decided not to let him in on that. Not yet, anyway.
1. Meet Cute
2. Tommy Girl
3. Stockholm is for Suckers
4. Prisoner's Dilemma, Extended Dance Remix
5. White Leopard Habitat
6. Unique Snowflakes