but i actually find it funny that im on the brink of breakign down but im smiling, those who were helping me kinda stopped its way amusing, not, had a rough day, rougher afternoon, and im almost about to cry (= someone, ANYONE help me pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeee

things seem to be going good, for the most part, though things keep reminding me of my past, which i dont like, but oh well other than that its been smooth

im not quite sure what to put here actually...

6 more til i go to school in drag (and tara gets turned on by it (actually i think josh would be too) XD kidding)
6 more days to the Childrens Card Game Party XD
8 more days to my birthday
8 more to homecoming
9 to the party
10 til a day about reminising on the weekend XD

 i actualy was happy today, spent the day with tara and her boyfriend josh, twas VERY fun, we went to the auburn mall, i stole a metal shot glass from spencers gifts, and 2 mini-handcuffs from hottopic XD, the after we went to arys and ate, it was yummy

and its funny cause only three people read this and two of them were there
so why am i stelling ( Read more... )

so yea, seeing Maggie and Boan didnt help my mood, i was depressed all day, and for some reason i brought my razor to school (dont really know why though). but anywho, yea today wasnt that good of a day.  although listening to Taproot kinda helped me, it made me realize that "i am not a quiter"

here are the lyrics:
"I’m trying to scream but I can’t ( Read more... )

today's weather was a completely 100% accurate representation of how i felt. i was horridly depressed. seeing Maggie and Botan made me happy, but other than that i was at combat with my mind. on the plus side, when i was walking home i was listening to lostprophets-last train home, and i was like w/e but then it switched to Mest-rooftops,and i got ( Read more... )

no update today, onlycause i dont know what to say

granted its not in my head, its still a note for me to remember
never listen to love songs when you are depressed
even if you are with someone
it doesnt really help
you tend to think of the past
and it really blows
i cant stp thinking about the people i have gone out with
nor can i focus on the perosn i am
this really blows
cause my music library is either ( Read more... )

depressed. >.< its pissing me off damn it, but what ever, it SHOULD eventually go away. some thing has got to make it go away. when im with agatha it does, but im not always around her, and when im not, it takes its toll

well listenign to Sum 41-Pieces earlier today didnt help my mood, i realized that it described me. I have tried to be perfect. i have realized that nothing is worth it. and i know it wont make me real, ever. its just not easy, but everything i said i ment. and tbh, i do feel as if im better on my own. but i dont want ot be on my own, i just dont. ( Read more... )