In the sense of on-line relationships, like the whole drama often found over LJ, FB, or whatever, this is particularly important to remember from both directions, IMHO. It's been hard sometimes for me to not misinterpret a lack of comments or interaction as a lack of personal interest, until I realize how many of my friends' posts I've read with interest and yet never took the time to say anything to them, either. If I was interested, curious, grateful for reading what they had to say, but didn't feel I had anything meaningful to contribute, how would they know? Sometimes the friendly thing is to still drop by and say hi anyway, and I feel bad about not recognizing that in myself much of the time.
Usually, the advice I give to friends who are interested in someone who has no idea what they want is to stand clear, let them figure it out on their own at a distance, because people who don't know what they want, in my experience, can be very emotionally dangerous people. They're often willing to play along with a lot of things for the experience of it while the people who care about them become more invested and take their complacence as a sign of reciprocation. That describes these 2 romantic relationships pretty well that I've been pondering. I've been failing to take my own advice. Heh. I think Disney's Alice has a song about that
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I've thought a lot about this comment over the last few days, feeling first defensive, and then knowing that when I do, it's time to really sit down and think about it
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"My time, energy and space is for people who want me around and who are willing to do more than not say No sometimes to let me know that."
that is a very brave and excellent way to look at friendship. :-) I've had to kind of let go of some because regardless of how long we'd been friends, they just didn't make me feel good about myself anymore. I think quality vs. quantity is very important.
I have done a lot of soul searching on this topic since we talked ever so briefly about it. I have come such people exist due partially to the culture we live in and because the lack of further tangible reward
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Which is part of my overall thesis that metal is WISE.
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that is a very brave and excellent way to look at friendship. :-) I've had to kind of let go of some because regardless of how long we'd been friends, they just didn't make me feel good about myself anymore. I think quality vs. quantity is very important.
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I'll take 1 of quality over 10 of meh any day!
Thank you for being one (of so many) of quality :)
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