Comments | bugsfic: FIC: Eleven Hours ~ Chapter Five

bugsfic

FIC: Eleven Hours ~ Chapter Five

Aug 09, 2012 20:03

Title: Eleven Hours
Author: bugs
Genre: Suspense, Romance, Drama
Rating: M
Word Count: 4,000
Timestamp: 18h, 18m
A/N: Who knew doing this plotting thing would take so much time? Dangit. Thanks to the aussie girl!

( False prophets read the Lords' words and spit words as twisted as a vipers' nest. Only the righteous believers can hear the truth clear as a ringing bell. Who shall you be? )

romance, suspense, a/r fics, m, drama, angst

Comments 17

shikabane_mai August 10 2012, 06:35:37 UTC

Loved the moments on New Caprica, especially the Selloi/Laura interactions. The A/R scene and raptor flashback were hot.

bugsfic August 12 2012, 01:26:45 UTC

Amanda Plummer's appearance was so random--and the character such an obvious deus ex machina to pass on the information about Hera to Three. But she does have such a presence, it was tempting to use her for the antagonist. Besides, any time I can use a canon character instead of a original character, it's cool!

The A/R scene and raptor flashback were hot.

Darn, I was trying to scale the smut back to sort of a depressing level. Need to keep working on that.

marzipanilla August 10 2012, 07:44:33 UTC

You know, for a minute there I wanted her to not get the chamalla- them having to deal with Laura going through withdrawal would have been interesting. Still, yay for her having someone on her side!

The NC memories were great, though the 'what I said to him' comment was interesting. That wasn't what she said to him about the election, was it? Hmm..

akachankami August 10 2012, 08:32:08 UTC

'what I said to him' comment was interesting.
i'm not the only one thinking that there's something more =D i thought i forgot something canon LOL XD

bugsfic August 12 2012, 01:31:52 UTC

You know, for a minute there I wanted her to not get the chamalla- them having to deal with Laura going through withdrawal would have been interesting.

I can't kill Laura...yet!

That wasn't what she said to him about the election, was it? Hmm..

Hah! aussie told me to remind the readers of the 'something she said' after sexy times that drove him off, and I realized instantly she was right! Obviously I needed to do it!

akachankami August 10 2012, 08:37:58 UTC

i love this chapter, it's probably my fav so far *-* it tells how much laura loves him, really! awwwww ♥
Men. That man.

"That's my Bill, ever the stoic manly man. You're not worried that I'll poison your most precious possession."

His arm tightened again. "It's not my most precious possession."

"All right. Most precious body part."

"Like your body parts better." He'd somehow gotten my blouse unbuttoned. He did have a way about him, I must say.

;_; i'm torn between sweet and hot... i can't decide what i love most about this exchange XD ♥♥♥

I looked him over. His hair was still a wild mess, now half-soaped. The bags under his eyes hung halfway down his rough cheeks. He was rubbing the bar of soap across his broad chest, bubbles running over his belly and catching on his half-erect penis.

Men.

Or at least this particular man. That he could summon any sort of arousal this morning was probably a sign to him that all was right in the worlds.
ROFLMAO XD she loves him so much ♥

i don't like dodona *pouts*

bugsfic August 12 2012, 01:41:48 UTC

i love this chapter, it's probably my fav so far

I think you say that every chapter!

it tells how much laura loves him, really!

I love that you see that. Because it's not like she's lying there saying to herself, I love him, I love him. In fact, she's fighting it as hard as she can, but there's what we feel and what we think in life, eh?

ROFLMAO XD she loves him so much

She's supposed to be really really mad at him! He was so mean, so cruel...Ah well, it's the next day. Time to move on.

i don't like dodona *pouts*

Yeah, with that kidnapping and such.

anonymous August 10 2012, 11:34:02 UTC

akachankami quoted the same things I wanted to comment on :)

You've managed to make Dodona even more monotonous than in canon and that's saying something :D

Nice flashbacks :)))

Brandy may not be only her way in, but also her way out...

Roni

bugsfic August 12 2012, 01:49:03 UTC

You've managed to make Dodona even more monotonous than in canon and that's saying something :D

She's such a perfect character to be the crazee kidnapper/killer!

Brandy may not be only her way in, but also her way out...

You're getting pretty confident with your guesses on the plot...

mellow_mel August 10 2012, 12:27:17 UTC

Awesome chapter!
Reading in 1st person Laura gives this such a different (good) feel, and you wrote it so well!

mellow_mel August 10 2012, 12:32:44 UTC

This deserves a Seperate comment for the hotness!
You could write all your smut M instead of Ma and I would still be a very happy smut hound!
LMAO

bugsfic August 12 2012, 01:59:24 UTC

It's so hard to decide what makes a scene MA or M. To me, it's a cock verse a penis. *head, desk* Just can't see Laura having a super dirty internal voice. LOL! Just do it, Bill! I don't want to talk about it!

bugsfic August 12 2012, 01:53:31 UTC

Reading in 1st person Laura gives this such a different (good) feel, and you wrote it so well!

It's very different to sustain something like this in a longer story! She's such a fierce, strong person; how does that translate to her internal voice? I just can't see her gushing on about her undying love, but hopefully little moments of her transformation seep through.

Thread 6