Firefly Fic. Jayne/River. PG.
Title: A Whole Day
Fandom: Firefly
Characters, Pairing, etc: Jayne/River
Prompt: # 07 Days (for fanfic100)
Word Count: Approx. 900
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Joss is God and owns everything, including my soul.
Author's Notes: Follow up to the April Fools Day fic Accidents Happen.
A whole day.
The crew of Serenity had let Jayne think his life was completely ruined for an entire day, and then cheerfully told him over breakfast that it was all a joke.
Jayne didn’t laugh. In fact, he didn’t think it was funny at all.
So he stormed off and spent the next several days in his bunk avoiding them, rather than risk getting flushed out the airlock for trying to kill each and every one of them. During his self-imposed exile he cleaned all of his guns, rearranged his other weapons, and wrote a letter home to Mattie. Still pissed, he took the time to think up numerous ways to get them all back. The plans he concocted were devious, ingenious, and mean...and they would have gotten him into a heap of trouble. Jayne realized he’d probably never act any of them out, but it was fun to imagine their reactions; and in doing so, managed to take the edge off his anger.
Once he calmed down, Jayne had the time to examine why their ruse had pissed him off so badly.
First of all, he wasn't eager to have any kids; and a pregnant whore couldn't really work for long. So he knew he would eventually have to leave Serenity in order to take care of his obligation, which is one of the many reasons why Jayne took careful precautions every time he got some trim: He liked it here.
Second, tricking him like that--making a man think he’d accidentally fathered a child and would have to marry the chit he'd knocked up--just wasn't fair. In all honesty, it might have been enough to consider offing himself, especially when he realized it meant he’d be stuck with the moonbrained girl (who'd tried to kill him on more than one occasion, anyway) for the rest of his life.
Third, while he expected Mal, Kaylee and even Simon to go in on this joke, he couldn’t figure out why they’d included River. Sure, she’d been a whole lot less crazy lately and might have actually wanted to join in the fun, but a little voice told him the whole thing just might have been her idea. The more he thought about it, the more something told him that her squirrelly little brain was up to something more devious, and he scared himself a bit thinking of all the possible tricks she could be up to.
Fourth, by waiting a day to let him in on the joke, they’d given him time to actually get used to the idea of being a father. At first, the thought scared the hell out of him. But after he took stock of his life he decided that, at least for a while, he could stay on as a merc for Mal. He’d have to be a little more careful than he usually was, and would need to avoid starting fights that would end up with them getting shot at; but he figured there’d come a day when he’d be too old to take on a big bunch of guys, and too slow to get a jump on anything before the situation went south. So he knew that he would have to start saving up before that day came and he spent some time considering the other jobs that he might be qualified for. It was a short list.
He also knew it would take a lot of effort to raise a kid up right, and he didn’t really hate the thought of a bunch of rug-rats climbing over him night and day. Actually, caring for half a dozen or so blue eyed, mischievous, hellions kind of made him smile. Sure, he wasn’t really an ideal role model, but he figured he could change just enough to be respectable, and that, while it might take some time, he would eventually rise to the challenge. No matter what, Jayne knew that come hell or high water he’d be a better father than his own Pa had been.
And last, he realized that by marrying River, he figured he’d get to sex her up anytime he wanted to, and that it wouldn’t cost him a cent. The idea really grew on him the more he fantasized about her tight little body under his, her lily white thighs wrapped around him, her wild mane of hair spread out on his pillow and her pink little tongue darting out to lick her lips as she screamed his name. Yeah, that was something Jayne knew he could get used to, and to yank that away irritated him beyond measure.
With a start Jayne shook himself out of his stupor, pushing the increasingly erotic daydream of sexin' River till she couldn't walk to the back of his mind, and climbed out of his bunk to see how far they were from the drop-off point. They were headed toward a smallish settlement, with only a few hundred inhabitants, but he really hoped it would have a whorehouse. After all, he wasn’t actually engaged to the girl anymore and thoughts like the ones he’d been having were only going to drive him distraction.
Stepping onto the bridge Jayne pulled up short, startled to find the object of his most recent desire sitting there with her dress pulled up high on her legs, baring ungodly amounts of pale skin. He swallowed hard and cleared his throat to ask how long it would be before they were planet-side. But a sinking feeling crept over him when River looked back over her shoulder, and with her best “come hither” look, whispered:
“A whole day.”
Fandom: Firefly
Characters, Pairing, etc: Jayne/River
Prompt: # 07 Days (for fanfic100)
Word Count: Approx. 900
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Joss is God and owns everything, including my soul.
Author's Notes: Follow up to the April Fools Day fic Accidents Happen.
A whole day.
The crew of Serenity had let Jayne think his life was completely ruined for an entire day, and then cheerfully told him over breakfast that it was all a joke.
Jayne didn’t laugh. In fact, he didn’t think it was funny at all.
So he stormed off and spent the next several days in his bunk avoiding them, rather than risk getting flushed out the airlock for trying to kill each and every one of them. During his self-imposed exile he cleaned all of his guns, rearranged his other weapons, and wrote a letter home to Mattie. Still pissed, he took the time to think up numerous ways to get them all back. The plans he concocted were devious, ingenious, and mean...and they would have gotten him into a heap of trouble. Jayne realized he’d probably never act any of them out, but it was fun to imagine their reactions; and in doing so, managed to take the edge off his anger.
Once he calmed down, Jayne had the time to examine why their ruse had pissed him off so badly.
First of all, he wasn't eager to have any kids; and a pregnant whore couldn't really work for long. So he knew he would eventually have to leave Serenity in order to take care of his obligation, which is one of the many reasons why Jayne took careful precautions every time he got some trim: He liked it here.
Second, tricking him like that--making a man think he’d accidentally fathered a child and would have to marry the chit he'd knocked up--just wasn't fair. In all honesty, it might have been enough to consider offing himself, especially when he realized it meant he’d be stuck with the moonbrained girl (who'd tried to kill him on more than one occasion, anyway) for the rest of his life.
Third, while he expected Mal, Kaylee and even Simon to go in on this joke, he couldn’t figure out why they’d included River. Sure, she’d been a whole lot less crazy lately and might have actually wanted to join in the fun, but a little voice told him the whole thing just might have been her idea. The more he thought about it, the more something told him that her squirrelly little brain was up to something more devious, and he scared himself a bit thinking of all the possible tricks she could be up to.
Fourth, by waiting a day to let him in on the joke, they’d given him time to actually get used to the idea of being a father. At first, the thought scared the hell out of him. But after he took stock of his life he decided that, at least for a while, he could stay on as a merc for Mal. He’d have to be a little more careful than he usually was, and would need to avoid starting fights that would end up with them getting shot at; but he figured there’d come a day when he’d be too old to take on a big bunch of guys, and too slow to get a jump on anything before the situation went south. So he knew that he would have to start saving up before that day came and he spent some time considering the other jobs that he might be qualified for. It was a short list.
He also knew it would take a lot of effort to raise a kid up right, and he didn’t really hate the thought of a bunch of rug-rats climbing over him night and day. Actually, caring for half a dozen or so blue eyed, mischievous, hellions kind of made him smile. Sure, he wasn’t really an ideal role model, but he figured he could change just enough to be respectable, and that, while it might take some time, he would eventually rise to the challenge. No matter what, Jayne knew that come hell or high water he’d be a better father than his own Pa had been.
And last, he realized that by marrying River, he figured he’d get to sex her up anytime he wanted to, and that it wouldn’t cost him a cent. The idea really grew on him the more he fantasized about her tight little body under his, her lily white thighs wrapped around him, her wild mane of hair spread out on his pillow and her pink little tongue darting out to lick her lips as she screamed his name. Yeah, that was something Jayne knew he could get used to, and to yank that away irritated him beyond measure.
With a start Jayne shook himself out of his stupor, pushing the increasingly erotic daydream of sexin' River till she couldn't walk to the back of his mind, and climbed out of his bunk to see how far they were from the drop-off point. They were headed toward a smallish settlement, with only a few hundred inhabitants, but he really hoped it would have a whorehouse. After all, he wasn’t actually engaged to the girl anymore and thoughts like the ones he’d been having were only going to drive him distraction.
Stepping onto the bridge Jayne pulled up short, startled to find the object of his most recent desire sitting there with her dress pulled up high on her legs, baring ungodly amounts of pale skin. He swallowed hard and cleared his throat to ask how long it would be before they were planet-side. But a sinking feeling crept over him when River looked back over her shoulder, and with her best “come hither” look, whispered:
“A whole day.”