Nothing is wrong with you. I'm sure most of us have asked a lot of the same questions; I know I have. Even so, I can't answer them for you, and I strongly suspect that anyone who claims to be able to do that is a charlatan. All I can suggest is that you sit still and breathe and try to live in the moment. Remember you are not alone.
There's a good video of Ken Wilber saying you have to live with this duality at once that everything is ok but that we all need to do more (see, doublethink isn't always bad!) http://youtube.com/watch?v=3E8CAWawn2g... )
it is your desire to take down the system, never force it on others is getting someone more money helping them, or are they better off than you? help them by healing? learn a healing art
It's not my desire until I'm certain of my suspicions (which I can never prove because apparently nothing is provable.) And then I'd certainly like to inform as many people about it as I can.
I'm thinking I don't want to use money at all, because it's using an end to defeat itself. Which seems a little hypocritical.
I've had that thought actually! Probably from watching so much Scrubs. I'd love to be a Cox type figure. But who knows.
I just wish there was a source of 100 percent verifiable factual KNOWLEDGE which I could base my life around, instead of speculation. Socrates said "the only real knowledge exists in knowing you know nothing" (and Lennon said "just gimme some truth!") For a while I just thought it was a smart sounding thing to say, but it really makes sense now.
Much of what you write about are socio-political questions and outrages. Buddhism may not be the answer for these kinds of concerns, as they are not central to its purpose. There is another system which makes better sense for an activist type of person seeking personal calmness. You can tell by what answers you'll find here.
Congratulations - you have depth, and you are prepared to work on yourself! And that is a lot to say!
I had a lot of those thoughts myself. It tore me down, it spoiled my fun, and did it make me a better human being? I was running around with a sad face all the time, and brought other people down as well... In fact, some fine day I couldn't take it any longer, and I was just about to end my life... but then, I found a book on Zen, and I started to practice, and it changed my life. Boy, did it change my life.
It is almost unbelievable, how a little sitting each day can change things.
To me, it's all about giving up, in a way. I cannot carry the weight of the world, so it follows, logically, that I DO NOT HAVE TO carry it. And that is a tremendously liberating experience.
It's just life. You'll live your life, you'll make mistakes, and it will all work out in the end. It sounds like you're running around in circles trying to figure out if you're doing everything right. You ask, "Where am I supposed to be going?" but the question assumes that there's someone who knows where you're supposed to be going, someone who has a plan for you and is angry that you're deviating from the plan.
If you don't want to eat meat, don't eat meat. If you need to take antibiotics, take antibiotics. It's your plan, not someone else's. Examine yourself to see what you really need from life, then live in the way that brings greatest happiness to yourself and others.
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is getting someone more money helping them, or are they better off than you?
help them by healing? learn a healing art
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I'm thinking I don't want to use money at all, because it's using an end to defeat itself. Which seems a little hypocritical.
I've had that thought actually! Probably from watching so much Scrubs. I'd love to be a Cox type figure. But who knows.
I just wish there was a source of 100 percent verifiable factual KNOWLEDGE which I could base my life around, instead of speculation. Socrates said "the only real knowledge exists in knowing you know nothing" (and Lennon said "just gimme some truth!") For a while I just thought it was a smart sounding thing to say, but it really makes sense now.
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as for the 100% verifiable knowledge, i took a leap of faith
(and im sorry, i do not know who cox is, he sounds like a nice guy)
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I had a lot of those thoughts myself. It tore me down, it spoiled my fun, and did it make me a better human being? I was running around with a sad face all the time, and brought other people down as well... In fact, some fine day I couldn't take it any longer, and I was just about to end my life... but then, I found a book on Zen, and I started to practice, and it changed my life. Boy, did it change my life.
It is almost unbelievable, how a little sitting each day can change things.
To me, it's all about giving up, in a way. I cannot carry the weight of the world, so it follows, logically, that I DO NOT HAVE TO carry it. And that is a tremendously liberating experience.
Reply
If you don't want to eat meat, don't eat meat. If you need to take antibiotics, take antibiotics. It's your plan, not someone else's. Examine yourself to see what you really need from life, then live in the way that brings greatest happiness to yourself and others.
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