Valentine's day. I was totally devastated. And the girl I was checking out didn't give me a gift. And she even said she had a boyfriend. Terrible. Even one chocolate could have saved my heart. How come girls don't give me any chocolate?Any girl? How bad samsara is. Is this because Buddha's Death Eve? Yes, tomorrow is Buddha's Death Day(仏滅Bustumetsu), celebrated in Japan. Ahh, no girl has ever given me any chocolate. This consumerist capitalism is tormenting me. When I was in my country, I told myself,
"Oh, it's Buddha's Death Day tomorrow, so they don't want to give chocolate. Good job, girls."
Why didn't they think giving chocolate was ultimate metta? It's not chocolate itself, but their will to give me chocolate, their mindfulness that makes me happy, that they remembered me. But I don't even exist in their eyes? Maybe they thought chocolate was offensive to Buddha. Since chocolate is a symbol of Kama(love), and great aphrodisiac. Kama Sutra praises flesh pleasure, but Buddha was against it. Buddha even banned woman from the Sangha first. I'm terribly sorry that I grew up in a Buddhist nation. So, I came to America, to get some love.
And now Buddhist population is growing in America, so inevitably, American girls will be asexual on this day. No wonder I haven't receive any chocolate even in America too. The freest country on earth, America. I immigrated to this country to be free. But the recent population explosion of asexuality. Why this low libido? America won't be a free country anymore. I am doomed. Jeez, where do I escape to? Is there any place left? Only two dimensional world like
Air is left to escape? The only path left is just to be Otaku and immersed in
Moe? And in the near future, Valentine's Day would be replaced with Buddha's Death Eve, thus I am very concerned and can't sleep at night, thinking my adorable American chicks becoming all asexual. The Mayan's predication might come true, in 2012, America turns to a Buddhist nation, and girls becomes asexual. The year eroticism is wiped out from our mother earth. That's the real Doomsday.
Well, Siddarthat taught us to cut the root, otherwise, weeds gonna grow endless. Girls' asexualness in Valentine's day is probably traced way back to Siddhartha's time. Since the growth of asexuality and Buddhist population coincide in the states, maybe, the root of all this can be found in Siddhartha's discours.
I thought Buddhism only prohibits sexual intercourse. So, I can see why he banned women. But I was appalled. I was totally shocked. I had no idea that Buddhism was this bad. Nobody can imagine how disappointed I was. "It can't be!" That was my reaction.
It goes too far.
Vinaya explicitly prohibits masturbation, especially with an intention for ejaculation is the target of strict regulation. Man, Otaku can't persue Moe then. So, it is a taboo for the Buddhist monks to masturbate. That is to say that they are sexually repressed and their freedom is completely trampled upon. They have no way out. The sex ban itself is already a tough asceticism, but even ban masturbation? Did Sakyamuni himself really prohibit this in person? This is totally going against the spirit of the middle path. No, he didn't do it. It must be a fabrication. I'm sure one of his disciples fabricated it after he died. Someone has changed the rules. The enlightened one can't be paranoid over sex. He can't be a control freak. If Siddhartha really did, he must have been having a nervous breakdown. Too severe fasting made his nerve cells die, so he couldn't make sane decisions any more. So, his enlightenment was not actually a holy thing but only madness. Yes, like Nietzsche's. Therefore, this automatically means that he wasn't qualified to be the founder of a world religion.
Anyway, when I knew this fact, I was just mad. I've been dealing with Siddhartha's puritanical anti-sex stance for a long time, but I had managed to be patient by the skin of my teeth, but when I found out this fact, it hit the boiling point and blew a big hole clean through the stratosphere. And finally my hinge broke off and the next thing I knew, I was yelling like,
"Gautama Buddha! Enough is enough!"
How despicable they were trying to spread this bullshit all over the world. I am almost losing all the respects I had for Siddhartha. I used to admire him as one of the greatest thinkers on earth. Well, in my high school years, I was anti-Buddha, just like some American kids going through the phase of anti-Christ. But, after being legal age, his greatness deeply impressed me once again and I have been admiring him since then. But, I had no idea that he was imposing such a ridiculous rule on his monks. Jeez, he's like a malicious dictator in some queer novel.
On the other hand, Christianity is not hard on masturbation. In fact, there is no verse in the Bible saying masturbation is wrong. Even fanatic priests know how stupid it is to ban masturbation. Well, some Seventh Day Adventist like John Harvey Kellogg was against self-touching, or so-called autosex. The Branch Davidian was an offshoot of Seventh Day Adventists too. Yes, a lot of weirdos and wackos from this cult, but other than that, the rest of them are still redeemable. But some of them still claim God was against onanism. Actually, Onanism is coitus interruptus, so it's not autosex. So God is never against masturbation. But, the Buddha was? I wonder how in the world Buddhism could become a world religion. Who in the hell stipulated this utter insanity?
How weird people have blindly put their faith in this religion. Do monks nowadays really adhere to this rule? Of course not, in Japan, monks can get married. So, they can get laid, which also means they can masturbate. A religion that bans masturbation, that kind of religion shouldn't have been introduced in Japan. Man, I got a chill on my whole shoulders thinking the Japanese mass were almost indoctrinated with this stupid obsene morality. But the Japanese monks went ahead and relaxed the rules so that Buddhism spread smoothly in Japan. Otherwise, it would have disappeared a long time ago and followed the same fate as so-called Kiristan.
Japan and Autosex
Oh, now I get it. That's why many Japanese girls feel guilty over autosex, because of this Buddhist value. And this results them not giving chocolate on Valentine. I was always wondering why some Japanese girls were enchained in this sense of guilt. In America, whenever I read woman magazines at Supercut, there's a whole article dedicated to "how to have great orgasm," bluntly introducing masturbation techniques for women. I can see that Puritan ethics has completely been wiped out in America, well at least in the mainstream. However, even today, this kind of ethics is still sticking to women like glue in Japan. How underdeveloped Japanese culture is. I didn't know Vinaya played a great role in our society. Come on, this is the 21st century. Who cares about this anachronism? Sex has been liberated for women, but masturbation hasn't? Sex is good, but masturbation is evil? Autosex is sinful? This is simply madness. You can't find such a sick society like Japan anywhere in the world. It is just unbelievable that this 2500-years-ago-obsolete vinaya is still tormenting Japanese women till this day. I really want to say to them,
"If you want to masturbate, just masturbate. Just do it!"
We have to liberate them as soon as we can, just like American people liberated Goddess Of Liberty from the fetters during American Revolution.
John Lennon, a proletarian hero and a modern Maitreya, used to sing "Imagine," a theme song for all the peaceniks around the globe. Siddhartha was a peacenik too. So, if we let Siddhartha change the lyric in his own way and sing it, it would have been like this:
You may say I'm a wet dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope some day you'll join us
And the world will be one
Here, "dreamer" changes to "wet dreamer." It was natural for them to release their habit energy through nocturnal emissions since they couldn't masturbate. So, the male monks could only be a wet dreamer. That is to say that until women were permitted, the Sangha was a group of wet dreamers. They should call it "Wet dream tribe." Why don't we make this word slang? Like the word "wet dreamer" means "monk." So, becoming a Bhikkhu meant becoming a wet dreamer!
The Japanese word Musei has a lot of meanings, depends on Chinese characters. The same sound but different letters and different meanings. For example, 夢精(musei) means "wet dream." 無性(musei) also means "no sex" or "sexless." And the same word but different pronunciation 無性(musyo) is "no self-nature," thus 空(ku) or emptiness or sunyata. So sexless and no self-nature and emptiness are the same. Therefore, Nagarjuna the rapist also became a wet dreamer. So, he quit being a rapist, which reduced rape crime in palaces. So, ladies in palaces didn't need to feel insecure anymore. So, wet dream reduced sex crimes in India!
Real Zen
A Zen term 無心(mushin) means "no heart" or "no mind." 精(sei) means not only "mind, spirit, mentality, energy," but also "semen." And if you add 無(mu) to sei, it becomes 無精(musei), which means "no mind." So, Mushin means Musei, and a wet dream occurs when you have no mind. That is the essence of Zen! Even though some Buddhist sects criticize Zen for deviating from Siddhartha's authentic teachings, this proves Zen is actually the true inheritor of Siddharthaism through Maha-Kassapa's line. If Sariputra was 智慧第一(chie-daiichi) or the most knowledgable, Mahakassapa was 頭陀第一(zuta-daiichi) or the best simple life practitioner, but his real aspect was 夢精第一(musei-daiichi) or the best wet dreamer. And the legend of 拈華微笑(nenge-misho) backs this up. Nenge-misho is a story that Mahakassapa smiled alone while the other students didn't have any clue when Siddhartha twisted a flower. Actually Mahakassapa was having a wet dream at that time, that's why he couldn't help smiling. Siddhartha used telepathy to send a message,
"Go wet yourself."
And only Mahakassapa got it right. That is the hidden meaning of that story. This proves the true Zen practice is not Zazen or Koan, but 只管夢精Shikan-Musei. So, the real Zen is indeed sexist, since they need to wet themselves to realize their Buddha nature. 夢精学(musei-gaku) is museiology, 夢精主義(musei-shugi) is museism, and 夢精家(musei-ka) is museist. And 夢精宗(musei-shu) is the esoteric school of Zen. Probably, most of you have never heard of this school before. Of course you don't, since this school is esoteric.
Siddhartha's real intention for banning women
Now I have come to understand why the Buddha didn't approve female first. Women can't wet dream. And monks' sexuality was totally oppressed. I bet they were on the verge of going mad from not being able to masturbate. How tough to be a monk. It must have been torture for them. If a woman was to go to a madhouse like that, it would have been like throwing a moribund rabbit at those starving wolves. Ummm, maybe Siddhartha did ban masturbation then. If monks were permitted to masturbate, they wouldn’t have been that repressed, so Siddhartha wouldn't have hesitated to lift the ban on women. But he imposed unfair rules on women, and even lamented that saddharma which was supposed to last a thousand years would only be going to last five hundred years .
Therefore, the real reason Siddhartha banned women is he wanted to keep the Sangha as a wet dream organization. If women join the Sangha, the monks would instantly lose their identity as a wet dreamer. So, these wet dreamers were very concerned. But he approved women on condition that the wet dreamers were always superior to Bhikkhunis. Thus, the status of the wet dreamers was preserved. When Ananda begged Siddhartha for letting women in, he must have said,
"No, Ananda. Dharma is only for the wet dreamers. Unless you become a wet dreamer, you can't become an Arhat."
And this kind of thought is also seen in the Lotus Sutra too. The Lotus Sutra claims women can't be a Buddha unless they become a man (or a wet dreamer). In fact Dragon Girl transformed into a wet dreamer to become enlightened. In the Pure Land schools, women would be born as a wet dreamer in the Pure Land if they chant "Namo Amitaba Buddha." This ideology is called 変成男子(henjjo-nanshi) or "a transformation to a man." I will rename this ideology 変成夢精家(henjo-museika) or "a transformation to a wet dreamer." Kind of mariposa metamorphosis.
I thought asexuality was a path to enlightenment in Buddhism. But I didn't even know masturbation was seen as an obstacle to enlightenment. So masturbation leads to no enlightenment but another samsara. So you have to be a wet dreamer to walk the path to Anuttara Samyaku Sambodhi. Masturbators and fornicators were the same to Siddhartha. For him, these
guys aren't bodhisattvas. Instead he would have said,
"Either you are with us the wet dreamers, or you are with the terrorists."
If Siddhartha started Buddhism today, his organization's domain might have been "Wet Dream For Peace Dot Org." That is his ultimate metta. That's why women were were treated as a subgroup in the Sangha. And SRS wasn't available at that time. Of course, this fact was too embarrassing to pass it down, so they simply took it out from the history of Buddhism. I bet someone will challenge me, "Where is the proof?" Well, since they destroyed the evidence, we don't have it. Thus a perfect crime was commited. So, they can't discredit this hypothesis.
Buddhists are currently divided into two big caterogries: Bhikkhu(begger) and Upasaka. But I bet the Buddhist monks used to be called "wet dreamer" before women were permitted. However, Siddhartha replaced "wet dreamer" with the word "begger" to be politically correct, but this historical fact was erased from Buddhism by someone in power.
So, does anybody know how to say "wet dreamer" in Sanskrit or Pali? I know stream-winner is srotapanna in Sanskrit, but I don't know how to say "wet dreamer." I checked some dictionaries but I couldn't find it. So, I appreciate it if someone comes up with it.
Thus, these are the reasons why girls today are getting asexual. Yes, the root of the low libido rate of girls is Siddhartha's teachings. The spread of Buddhism in America will reduce eroticism and no girl will give a kiss to us. And in fact, I didn't receive any chocolate, so it's a sign that the doomsday is coming. But there's no way to stop this since the U.S. has the 1st amendment. I just hope that girls won't abandon this Valentine custom over Buddhism. What if all American girls become Buddhist? Ahhh, I'm scared to death! Buddha's Death Day is Eroticism Death Day,