Somebody Save Jennifer - Chapter Eight
Title: Somebody Save Jennifer
Fandom: Gossip Girl
Pairing/Character(s): Nate/Jenny but other characters are apart of the story
Rating: M
Type: Hurt/Comfort/Romance
Spoilers: Completely AU
Summary: We all have problems, but for Jennifer Humphrey they are much bigger. Will she be able to get over her addiction with his help?
Thanks so much to my beta, Jenna {_chngingx3lanes} Thank you so much, hon, for all your help.
Chapter Eight - Gravity
Something always brings me back to you.
It never takes too long.
No matter what I say or do I'll still feel
you here 'til the moment I'm gone.
You hold me without touch.
You keep me without chains.
I never wanted anything so much than to drown
in your love and not feel your rain.
Set me free, leave me be. I don't want to fall
another moment into your gravity.
Here I am and I stand so tall, just the way I'm supposed
to be. But you're on to me and all over me.
Eight Months Earlier
Picking at the bandage on her left wrist, Jennifer Humphrey stayed silent. The room was cold, the air blowing wildly from the air-conditioning above. The clock ticked, counting the minutes until the end of their first session. The room was dimly lit, the sun shining softly against the mahogany furniture through the open curtains. Jennifer looked around the room, taking in the unfamiliar scenery, pictures, and framed certificates plastered all over the wall. Feeling the taste of pennies in her mouth, she leaned forward, helping herself to another chocolate from the bowl sitting on the coffee table in front of her. The therapist she was seeing today kept a lot of them in a small ceramic bowl.
When the door opened, Jenny looked up, the therapist entering the room, clipboard in hand. She smiled at Jennifer, taking her seat in the cushy brown recliner chair. “Sorry if I'm a little late. I had to pick up my niece and nephew from school”.
Jennifer looked down at the bandage on her arm, picking at the cotton again. “It's fine. I ate some of your candy”.
The woman smiled, pulling a dish of candy from the table next to her, setting it in her lap. “It's alright. Those are for you”.
She smiled, pulling another candy from the jar. “These are really good”.
“They're from the little bakery around the corner”. Capturing her hair in a low ponytail, she tied in with blue elastic. She pulled out a pin from her purse, positioning it on the paper on top of the clipboard. “How about you tell me a little bit about yourself”.
To avoid talking, Jennifer leaned over taking another chocolate, sucking on the candy until it dissolved in her mouth. Her silence didn’t seem to annoy the woman in navy blue. Instead she just sat their, eating her own bowl of candy, waiting for Jennifer to answer the question.
Susan Boyd was a therapist to young people under the age of twenty-five. She sported sandy brown hair, keeping it pulled from her face with a headband or elastic most days. Susan's eyes were a deep brown color, and she didn't look a day over thirty. Her face was warm and friendly, but that didn’t mean Jennifer wanted to converse with her. In fact, Jennifer didn’t want to talk to anyone. If she wasn’t here by force, then Jennifer never would have come. It was all apart of the program her uncle and the hospital trusted upon her. She didn’t want to be in this place, with all these unfamiliar people. Their problems were different from hers. She wasn’t crazy or harmful to herself, messed up like her roommate and the others in group therapy. She just liked to do something that others frowned upon. Leaning back even further on the couch, she silently ate from the chocolate bowl.
The next time Jennifer went back to therapy, it was in the middle of June and she still hadn’t spoken to the Susan. Just like before, the woman sat patiently, munching on chocolates, waiting for Jennifer’s words to escape; they never came. Not during that session or the three more after that. All that went on was eating, both females bound to have cavities. During that silence, Jennifer would wonder about her parents, hoping that her mother was alright wherever she was, and praying that her alcoholic father wouldn't find her. Jennifer sometimes missed her mother, wondering if she was getting the help she needed. She wondered if Uncle Rufus was helping her mother the same way he'd supposedly helped her.
The first time Jennifer spoke to Susan again was to complement her on a dress she was wearing. It was white, blue lace outlining the bottom. Susan smiled, relaying with a 'thank you'.
The second time she spoke again was three sessions after the last time, the beginning of July. Susan was showing Jennifer pictures of her fiancée. He was visiting his parents in Florida, Susan's hometown. Jennifer complemented on a picture of Susan and her fiancée, saying they looked good together.
It was the end of July when Jennifer spoke again, provoking a conversation. “I’m not crazy”.
Susan looked up from her clipboard, her face calm. “No one said you were crazy, Jennifer”.
She looked down, playing with the fresh bandage on her arm. The scars underneath were still healing. She'd had gotten a replacement after trying to cut herself with the spoon they gave out at dinner. “Yeah? Well, then why am I here?”.
“Because your family is worried about you”, Susan answered softly, her voice warm and friendly. She wrote a note down on her clipboard, before focusing her attention back to Jennifer. “Why do you think you’re here?”.
That was all it took for Jennifer to shut down. Silence. It continued throughout most of their session together.
It was August when Jennifer finally answered the question. “My Uncle Rufus and all the doctors think I tried to kill myself”.
“Were you trying to kill yourself, Jennifer?”, Susan asked hesitantly, not wanting Jennifer to shut down again.
“You can call me Jenny...if you want”. She shifted uncomfortably in her seat, leaning forward to grab another chocolate. “I didn't try to kill myself that night. I was just releasing some anger, and I must have cut too deep”.
“What made you angry that night?”. The question threw Jennifer off a bit, but didn't stop her from answering the question. “Did something happen to you that mad you angry?”.
“I was more sad than angry”. Jennifer picked up another candy, unwrapping it slowly, the rustle of the rapper loud in her ears. The taste of pennies was strong as she finally confessed, “I was just...feeling lonely, I guess”.
Susan continued to scribble in her notebook. Without looking up she asked, “Why were you feeling lonely?”.
Outside, Jennifer could hear the hustle and bustle of the city: taxi's honking their horns, New Yorkers walking the pavement, tourist amazement of seeing the wonderful city. It was all going down just eight stories below. In a city like this it was impossible to feel lonely, with the bright lights, and different personalities on every street. But for a girl like Jennifer, loneliness came easy. It overcame her like the one and only emotion she'd ever had or known. It didn't matter if she was in a crowded room, people screaming her name, laughing with her until the sky turned from ebony to auburn, she would always feel that loneliness that came creeping back to her, just when her world started to turn around and get better.
Looking up at Susan, blank expression on her face. “Because my life sucks”.
Present Day
“My Life Sucks!”, Jenny groaned, swatting the snooze button on her alarm clock. The annoying beeping sound played in her ears until they wanted to bleed. Rising up from her bed, hair matted to her head, Jenny noticed the clock showed 8: 15 a.m. meaning she’d missed the first half of her first period class. She rushed from the bed and into the shower, getting dressed at a record time of four minutes. Forgetting her makeup and accessories, Jenny grabbed her school bag, and tumbled out the door. She ran as fast as her long legs would take her towards the North East part of campus to where her first class was in the Hartford Building.
After Agnes’ departure from school, Jenny spent the rest the four-day weekend in the city with her Uncle Rufus and his new girlfriend Bex. She was an art dealer that captured Rufus’ eye, meeting her on his quest to buy new painting for the penthouse he’d brought in Los Angeles. Rufus was a famous musician, his band named the “Next U2” by Rolling Stones magazine. Rufus was playing two shows in Brooklyn and Westchester the weekend, letting Jenny tag along. She stayed backstage with Bex, talking about random things and gushing over how good the band sounded. Jenny attended a lot of her uncle’s concerts when she was younger, playing pranks on the sound men with Dan backstage. But it was the first time Jenny got to hear the music, understanding why people loved her uncle’s band so much. His songs were real, trials and tribulations of the average American. There was even a song dedicated to her titled, ‘Blue-eyed Girl’. Most people would be furious to have a song written about their troubles and at first Jenny was, but she soon came to realize that the song was made out of love.
In between the concerts, Jenny would spend time with Bex, shopping at the mall, make deals for her clients on good pieces of art, and slurping down iced lattés at Starbucks getting to know each other better. She learned that Bex grew up in Virginia where her family owned a chain of art galleries for local artist. She moved to the city when she was twenty-two, looking to be the biggest art broker in town. Jenny learned more about her clients and the day she’d met Rufus, their first date a total disaster due to Bex getting sick from the shrimp dinner she’d ate. Jenny became to adore Bex, her witty sense of humor and kind heart making her the perfect match for Rufus. Jenny also spent time with her uncle, skating in Central Park, laughing when her uncle would fall into the grass after losing his balance yet again. They went to movies, late night of course, after he'd practiced for the up-coming show. Jenny would tell Rufus her progress in group therapy, how she'd met Eric, her friend Agnes that got suspended, and the phone she'd lost, leaving out all parts of Nate.
Besides hanging with Bex, Rufus, and the tour staff, Jenny hadn't really thought much about Nate. Sure there were the ‘occasional’ thoughts, wondering what he was doing, if he missed her like she did him. But to save herself the hurt, Jenny quickly pushed all thoughts of Nate from her mind. She kept herself busy, e-mailing Eric-making him promise her not to mention Nate or Vanessa. She worked more on her designs, planning to spice up her school uniform with a ‘new look’.
When Rufus and the limo dropped her off Monday night before curfew, Jenny cried, not wanting to leave. She’d begged Rufus to let her stay with him for the rest of the week, but he firmly told her ‘no’, saying she needed to be in school and that behind the curtains of a rock tour was no place for her to be. When Jenny arrived at her dorm, she hadn’t even noticed how tired she was before entering her empty room. She placed the shopping bags with her new stuff inside on Agnes’ old bed before curling up into her own.
When Jenny arrived at the Hartford Building it was now 8:25 a.m. meaning she was really late, bound to have detention for said tardiness. With her late slip in hand, Jenny walked up the stairs to her class, knocking on the door softly. Mr. Copperfield spotted her through the small glass window, throwing his hands up in frustration. If there was one thing that man hated, it would be tardy students. He’d grilled Anthony Morison once for coming into class a mere two minutes late due to a traffic jam in the hallway just last week. He motioned for Jenny to come in. Hesitantly, she opened the door, reveling herself to the class. She could feel all eyes on her as she entered the class.
“Miss Humphrey, so nice of you to join us”, Mr. Copperfield cheered, his voice dripping with sarcasm. He leaned against the podium behind him, scolding her with his eyes.
She’d never been later in all her academic career, always the first student in the classroom. Jenny swallowed, pushing the lump down in her throat before she spoke, “I, uh, overslept”.
Mr. Copperfield crossed one foot over the other, placing his index finger on his chin, trying to figure out something. “Really? Because to me you look well rested. Fresh and bright…natural”.
Jenny nervously ran a hand through her hair, looking down at the raven colored flats she’d shoved her feet, before saying the first answer that came to mind. “I, uh, didn’t get a chance to put on my make-up”.
Mr. Copperfield was about to respond to Jenny’s answer, when something or someone else caught his attention. Throwing his hands up in the air, frustration all over his face, he exclaimed, “What is this come late to class day?”.
“Mr. Copperfield, I am so sorry I’m late”, the deep and all too familiar voice of Nate Archibald spoke from behind Jenny. Hearing his voice sent a chill down Jenny’s spine and she cursed her body for responding to him that way. She could smell the aroma of his cologne, his hot sexy breath on the back of her neck. He was making her knees weak and he didn’t even know it. Jenny didn’t know what it was about Nate that made her react this way. Every time she tried to forget him she couldn’t. It was like gravity, pulling her back to him.
“So, Mr. Archibald, what is your excuse?”, Mr. Copperfield asked, standing up straight, locking his fingers together.
Nate sighed from behind Jenny, his hair a disarray on the top of his head. “My alarm clock didn’t go off”.
“That seems to be going around”. Mr. Copperfield laughed, bringing his hand up to his face in a praying position. “How about the two of you have a seat and Mr. Archibald, you can join Miss Humphrey in detention after school with me”.
Jenny could feel Nate’s eyes on her as they took their seats next to each other in the back of the room. Jenny kept her head down the entire time, cursing the fact that she no longer had long hair to shield her face from him. The rest of the class period seemed to drag, despite Jenny missing the first half of the class. Mr. Copperfield preached about British authors that contributed to English Literature. Jenny half listened as he explained the work of Richard Brinsley Sheridan and William Godwin, their writing styles and individual uniqueness that made them so great. When the bell ending class sounded, Jenny hopped from her seat, rushing out the door to her next class. The rest of the day was a haze that Jenny barely remembered. Everyone around her buzzed about the latest Gossip Girl blast, some even sparing glances at her as she passed in them in the hallway. Jenny didn’t pay too much attention to them because now that Agnes was gone, Jenny was back to being the new girl with the semi-bad hair cut and famous uncle. When lunch came, Jenny begged Eric to eat in the library with her, not wanting to sit through a lunch where Nate talked about his weekend with Vanessa.
After school was done, Jenny walked slowly towards the North East part of campus, not in a hurry to be locked in a room with Mr. Copperfield and Nate. The sky was cloudy, a dusky gray littering the atmosphere. When Jenny entered Mr. Copperfield’s classroom, he was sitting behind his desk reading an old book. Nate was sitting in the middle of the classroom, Chemistry book laid out in front of him as he took notes. Jenny took her seat quietly by the window, pulling out her sketch book and colored pencils.
Nate looked over at her, taking the time to look at Jenny. She was simple today in a plaid jumper mini dress, white button-down dress shirt underneath, and elegant flats. She was plain yet beautiful, no make-up on her face, her natural beauty shining through. She’d been gone a total of four days and Nate missed her every second of each of those days. He craved her, wanting to hear the sound of her voice, high-pitched laugh, and fragile body.
“I have to run across campus to a real quick meeting, so the two of you need to stay here and I’ll be right back”, Mr. Copperfield announced, the wooden chair scrapping against the hardwood floor as he stood, straitening his tie. He walked out the door, locking the two of them inside.
Jenny could feel heart beating faster, the audible click of the lock pounding in her ears. She could feel him as he rose from his seat, the familiar scraping sound of wood against parquet, as Nate sat down beside her.
“Hey”. She could feel the smile on his face, as he ran a hand through his tousled hair. Jenny could feel herself shaking, just thinking about the last time they were alone together, in a secluded place.
“Hi”. Jenny picked up at him from behind her hair, pushing it from her face. She held on tightly to the saffron colored pencil in her hand.
“How was you trip?”, he asked gently, making Jenny melt a bit. Looking into his sapphire eyes, Jenny then realized just how much she missed him. The bright smile on his face, the manly chuckle that was his laugh, and his lean muscular body. She also missed his voice, the way he would explain the lesson that she pretended not to understand.
Smiling softly, she said, “Fine”.
“I saw your uncles concert on TV. He did really great”.
Jenny nodded, remembering the concert from her point-of-view, “Do you want to see pictures?”.
Nate smiled, nodding his head. It should have been weird between them, but it wasn’t, surprising the both of them. Jenny pulled the pink digital camera from her bag, flipping through the various pictures for Nate to see. They both watched, the images flashing from Jenny herself, to Bex, to Rufus, group shots of the band, sound equipment guys and many more. There was one picture in particular that caught Nate’s eye. It was Jenny, her hair curled around her elegant face, a headband perched on top. She was on the stage, the soundmen setting up behind her, as she sat on one of the speakers. She was wearing jeans and a green tank top. The photographic Jenny was staring off into space, unaware of the fact that someone was taking a picture of her, unaware of the beauty she possessed.
“You look amazing there”, Nate complemented, turning to look at her.
They stared at each other, eyes connected in passion. It amazed them both how they always seemed to drift back to one another so easily after an argument. It was an astronomy gravitational force of Earth: the attraction due to gravitation that the Earth or another celestial body exerts on an object on or near its surface; it was gravity. Pulling them together after four days of separation. Nate inhaled softly, taking in the scent that he missed over the course of four days. She smelled of her usual scent of fuchsia and primrose. It was intoxicating, pulling him closer to her. Their lips were inches apart, when Nate connected them, kissing her with force.
It took a minute for Jenny to fully understand what was going on, before she pulled away roughly, rising from her chair, back flat against the window. “What are you doing? You have a girlfriend”.
Nate moved closer to her, pulling the chairs away as he did. He leaned towards her, putting both hands on the window on either side of Jenny, boxing her in. “Not anymore”.
She couldn’t breath, she couldn’t think, she couldn’t see. All that surrounded her was Nate. He was taking over her senses claiming them as his own. He was everywhere. In her mind, in her sight, on her lips, taking her breath away. “What are you talking about?”.
Nate reached down, capturing his phone from his pocket, placing it in her hand. The screen displayed the Gossip Girl blast from the day Agnes left. There were pictures of her and Agnes saying goodbye, but at the end of the post was a video that Nate saved to his phone. Pressing the ‘play’ button, Jenny braced herself for what Nate was about to show her. Jenny stared in disbelief, the video displaying a very public breakup between him and Vanessa. They were both screaming at each other, ending with Nate telling Vanessa it was over, no hint of remorse. Vanessa was screaming at Nate to reconsider, asking him if there was someone else. Nate’s response stunned Jenny, and audible ‘yes’ escaping from his lips. Jenny’s face ran hot as the video ended, clutching Nate’s phone in her hand.
She looked up at him, a huge grin on his face. Jenny didn’t know what to say, her words were tied together, crying for her to break them free. Nate took the opportunity to lean forward, connecting their mouths again. He gripped at her waist, pulling her further to him by the fabric of her dress. She felt so good in his arms, that Nate wanted to throw her down on the table and ravish her, fulfilling a fantasy he’d always had about her. Jenny responded to the kiss, sucking and biting his lower lip, her hand clutching the front of his shirt. They both pulled away, the need for air becoming a must. Foreheads resting together, they stared into one another’s eyes.
Nate moved his mouth to hers, but Jenny stopped him, turning her head to the side. “What?”.
Jenny looked away from him, trying to find the words. Nate put a hand under her chin, gently pulling her face to meet his eyes. “I…uh…you…don’t”.
He saw the moisture in her eyes, knowing where the situation was headed. “Jenny, I like you a lot, but why do I have to love you right now?”.
She stayed quiet, closing her eyes, a tear falling down her cheek. “I want to get to know you, Jenny”.
Jenny rushed a hand through her hair, not knowing what to say or feel. She liked Nate a lot, convincing herself that she was in love with him, but that was it. Never did Jenny let herself think about the possibility of Nate liking her back. Panic rushed though her, thinking about what would happen if the truth ever came out. If Nate found out about her past, the cutting, the abuse, the depression, her parents, all things that made up her past. What if Nate found out? What if the result would be him changing his feelings for her, taking back his words? What if the entire school found out, branding her once again a cutter. She couldn’t have it. She couldn’t have Nate change his mind, give her something great then take it away. It would kill her, no doubt sending her into an even greater depression than before.
------------->> Chapter Nine
Fandom: Gossip Girl
Pairing/Character(s): Nate/Jenny but other characters are apart of the story
Rating: M
Type: Hurt/Comfort/Romance
Spoilers: Completely AU
Summary: We all have problems, but for Jennifer Humphrey they are much bigger. Will she be able to get over her addiction with his help?
Thanks so much to my beta, Jenna {_chngingx3lanes} Thank you so much, hon, for all your help.
Chapter Eight - Gravity
Something always brings me back to you.
It never takes too long.
No matter what I say or do I'll still feel
you here 'til the moment I'm gone.
You hold me without touch.
You keep me without chains.
I never wanted anything so much than to drown
in your love and not feel your rain.
Set me free, leave me be. I don't want to fall
another moment into your gravity.
Here I am and I stand so tall, just the way I'm supposed
to be. But you're on to me and all over me.
Eight Months Earlier
Picking at the bandage on her left wrist, Jennifer Humphrey stayed silent. The room was cold, the air blowing wildly from the air-conditioning above. The clock ticked, counting the minutes until the end of their first session. The room was dimly lit, the sun shining softly against the mahogany furniture through the open curtains. Jennifer looked around the room, taking in the unfamiliar scenery, pictures, and framed certificates plastered all over the wall. Feeling the taste of pennies in her mouth, she leaned forward, helping herself to another chocolate from the bowl sitting on the coffee table in front of her. The therapist she was seeing today kept a lot of them in a small ceramic bowl.
When the door opened, Jenny looked up, the therapist entering the room, clipboard in hand. She smiled at Jennifer, taking her seat in the cushy brown recliner chair. “Sorry if I'm a little late. I had to pick up my niece and nephew from school”.
Jennifer looked down at the bandage on her arm, picking at the cotton again. “It's fine. I ate some of your candy”.
The woman smiled, pulling a dish of candy from the table next to her, setting it in her lap. “It's alright. Those are for you”.
She smiled, pulling another candy from the jar. “These are really good”.
“They're from the little bakery around the corner”. Capturing her hair in a low ponytail, she tied in with blue elastic. She pulled out a pin from her purse, positioning it on the paper on top of the clipboard. “How about you tell me a little bit about yourself”.
To avoid talking, Jennifer leaned over taking another chocolate, sucking on the candy until it dissolved in her mouth. Her silence didn’t seem to annoy the woman in navy blue. Instead she just sat their, eating her own bowl of candy, waiting for Jennifer to answer the question.
Susan Boyd was a therapist to young people under the age of twenty-five. She sported sandy brown hair, keeping it pulled from her face with a headband or elastic most days. Susan's eyes were a deep brown color, and she didn't look a day over thirty. Her face was warm and friendly, but that didn’t mean Jennifer wanted to converse with her. In fact, Jennifer didn’t want to talk to anyone. If she wasn’t here by force, then Jennifer never would have come. It was all apart of the program her uncle and the hospital trusted upon her. She didn’t want to be in this place, with all these unfamiliar people. Their problems were different from hers. She wasn’t crazy or harmful to herself, messed up like her roommate and the others in group therapy. She just liked to do something that others frowned upon. Leaning back even further on the couch, she silently ate from the chocolate bowl.
The next time Jennifer went back to therapy, it was in the middle of June and she still hadn’t spoken to the Susan. Just like before, the woman sat patiently, munching on chocolates, waiting for Jennifer’s words to escape; they never came. Not during that session or the three more after that. All that went on was eating, both females bound to have cavities. During that silence, Jennifer would wonder about her parents, hoping that her mother was alright wherever she was, and praying that her alcoholic father wouldn't find her. Jennifer sometimes missed her mother, wondering if she was getting the help she needed. She wondered if Uncle Rufus was helping her mother the same way he'd supposedly helped her.
The first time Jennifer spoke to Susan again was to complement her on a dress she was wearing. It was white, blue lace outlining the bottom. Susan smiled, relaying with a 'thank you'.
The second time she spoke again was three sessions after the last time, the beginning of July. Susan was showing Jennifer pictures of her fiancée. He was visiting his parents in Florida, Susan's hometown. Jennifer complemented on a picture of Susan and her fiancée, saying they looked good together.
It was the end of July when Jennifer spoke again, provoking a conversation. “I’m not crazy”.
Susan looked up from her clipboard, her face calm. “No one said you were crazy, Jennifer”.
She looked down, playing with the fresh bandage on her arm. The scars underneath were still healing. She'd had gotten a replacement after trying to cut herself with the spoon they gave out at dinner. “Yeah? Well, then why am I here?”.
“Because your family is worried about you”, Susan answered softly, her voice warm and friendly. She wrote a note down on her clipboard, before focusing her attention back to Jennifer. “Why do you think you’re here?”.
That was all it took for Jennifer to shut down. Silence. It continued throughout most of their session together.
It was August when Jennifer finally answered the question. “My Uncle Rufus and all the doctors think I tried to kill myself”.
“Were you trying to kill yourself, Jennifer?”, Susan asked hesitantly, not wanting Jennifer to shut down again.
“You can call me Jenny...if you want”. She shifted uncomfortably in her seat, leaning forward to grab another chocolate. “I didn't try to kill myself that night. I was just releasing some anger, and I must have cut too deep”.
“What made you angry that night?”. The question threw Jennifer off a bit, but didn't stop her from answering the question. “Did something happen to you that mad you angry?”.
“I was more sad than angry”. Jennifer picked up another candy, unwrapping it slowly, the rustle of the rapper loud in her ears. The taste of pennies was strong as she finally confessed, “I was just...feeling lonely, I guess”.
Susan continued to scribble in her notebook. Without looking up she asked, “Why were you feeling lonely?”.
Outside, Jennifer could hear the hustle and bustle of the city: taxi's honking their horns, New Yorkers walking the pavement, tourist amazement of seeing the wonderful city. It was all going down just eight stories below. In a city like this it was impossible to feel lonely, with the bright lights, and different personalities on every street. But for a girl like Jennifer, loneliness came easy. It overcame her like the one and only emotion she'd ever had or known. It didn't matter if she was in a crowded room, people screaming her name, laughing with her until the sky turned from ebony to auburn, she would always feel that loneliness that came creeping back to her, just when her world started to turn around and get better.
Looking up at Susan, blank expression on her face. “Because my life sucks”.
Present Day
“My Life Sucks!”, Jenny groaned, swatting the snooze button on her alarm clock. The annoying beeping sound played in her ears until they wanted to bleed. Rising up from her bed, hair matted to her head, Jenny noticed the clock showed 8: 15 a.m. meaning she’d missed the first half of her first period class. She rushed from the bed and into the shower, getting dressed at a record time of four minutes. Forgetting her makeup and accessories, Jenny grabbed her school bag, and tumbled out the door. She ran as fast as her long legs would take her towards the North East part of campus to where her first class was in the Hartford Building.
After Agnes’ departure from school, Jenny spent the rest the four-day weekend in the city with her Uncle Rufus and his new girlfriend Bex. She was an art dealer that captured Rufus’ eye, meeting her on his quest to buy new painting for the penthouse he’d brought in Los Angeles. Rufus was a famous musician, his band named the “Next U2” by Rolling Stones magazine. Rufus was playing two shows in Brooklyn and Westchester the weekend, letting Jenny tag along. She stayed backstage with Bex, talking about random things and gushing over how good the band sounded. Jenny attended a lot of her uncle’s concerts when she was younger, playing pranks on the sound men with Dan backstage. But it was the first time Jenny got to hear the music, understanding why people loved her uncle’s band so much. His songs were real, trials and tribulations of the average American. There was even a song dedicated to her titled, ‘Blue-eyed Girl’. Most people would be furious to have a song written about their troubles and at first Jenny was, but she soon came to realize that the song was made out of love.
In between the concerts, Jenny would spend time with Bex, shopping at the mall, make deals for her clients on good pieces of art, and slurping down iced lattés at Starbucks getting to know each other better. She learned that Bex grew up in Virginia where her family owned a chain of art galleries for local artist. She moved to the city when she was twenty-two, looking to be the biggest art broker in town. Jenny learned more about her clients and the day she’d met Rufus, their first date a total disaster due to Bex getting sick from the shrimp dinner she’d ate. Jenny became to adore Bex, her witty sense of humor and kind heart making her the perfect match for Rufus. Jenny also spent time with her uncle, skating in Central Park, laughing when her uncle would fall into the grass after losing his balance yet again. They went to movies, late night of course, after he'd practiced for the up-coming show. Jenny would tell Rufus her progress in group therapy, how she'd met Eric, her friend Agnes that got suspended, and the phone she'd lost, leaving out all parts of Nate.
Besides hanging with Bex, Rufus, and the tour staff, Jenny hadn't really thought much about Nate. Sure there were the ‘occasional’ thoughts, wondering what he was doing, if he missed her like she did him. But to save herself the hurt, Jenny quickly pushed all thoughts of Nate from her mind. She kept herself busy, e-mailing Eric-making him promise her not to mention Nate or Vanessa. She worked more on her designs, planning to spice up her school uniform with a ‘new look’.
When Rufus and the limo dropped her off Monday night before curfew, Jenny cried, not wanting to leave. She’d begged Rufus to let her stay with him for the rest of the week, but he firmly told her ‘no’, saying she needed to be in school and that behind the curtains of a rock tour was no place for her to be. When Jenny arrived at her dorm, she hadn’t even noticed how tired she was before entering her empty room. She placed the shopping bags with her new stuff inside on Agnes’ old bed before curling up into her own.
When Jenny arrived at the Hartford Building it was now 8:25 a.m. meaning she was really late, bound to have detention for said tardiness. With her late slip in hand, Jenny walked up the stairs to her class, knocking on the door softly. Mr. Copperfield spotted her through the small glass window, throwing his hands up in frustration. If there was one thing that man hated, it would be tardy students. He’d grilled Anthony Morison once for coming into class a mere two minutes late due to a traffic jam in the hallway just last week. He motioned for Jenny to come in. Hesitantly, she opened the door, reveling herself to the class. She could feel all eyes on her as she entered the class.
“Miss Humphrey, so nice of you to join us”, Mr. Copperfield cheered, his voice dripping with sarcasm. He leaned against the podium behind him, scolding her with his eyes.
She’d never been later in all her academic career, always the first student in the classroom. Jenny swallowed, pushing the lump down in her throat before she spoke, “I, uh, overslept”.
Mr. Copperfield crossed one foot over the other, placing his index finger on his chin, trying to figure out something. “Really? Because to me you look well rested. Fresh and bright…natural”.
Jenny nervously ran a hand through her hair, looking down at the raven colored flats she’d shoved her feet, before saying the first answer that came to mind. “I, uh, didn’t get a chance to put on my make-up”.
Mr. Copperfield was about to respond to Jenny’s answer, when something or someone else caught his attention. Throwing his hands up in the air, frustration all over his face, he exclaimed, “What is this come late to class day?”.
“Mr. Copperfield, I am so sorry I’m late”, the deep and all too familiar voice of Nate Archibald spoke from behind Jenny. Hearing his voice sent a chill down Jenny’s spine and she cursed her body for responding to him that way. She could smell the aroma of his cologne, his hot sexy breath on the back of her neck. He was making her knees weak and he didn’t even know it. Jenny didn’t know what it was about Nate that made her react this way. Every time she tried to forget him she couldn’t. It was like gravity, pulling her back to him.
“So, Mr. Archibald, what is your excuse?”, Mr. Copperfield asked, standing up straight, locking his fingers together.
Nate sighed from behind Jenny, his hair a disarray on the top of his head. “My alarm clock didn’t go off”.
“That seems to be going around”. Mr. Copperfield laughed, bringing his hand up to his face in a praying position. “How about the two of you have a seat and Mr. Archibald, you can join Miss Humphrey in detention after school with me”.
Jenny could feel Nate’s eyes on her as they took their seats next to each other in the back of the room. Jenny kept her head down the entire time, cursing the fact that she no longer had long hair to shield her face from him. The rest of the class period seemed to drag, despite Jenny missing the first half of the class. Mr. Copperfield preached about British authors that contributed to English Literature. Jenny half listened as he explained the work of Richard Brinsley Sheridan and William Godwin, their writing styles and individual uniqueness that made them so great. When the bell ending class sounded, Jenny hopped from her seat, rushing out the door to her next class. The rest of the day was a haze that Jenny barely remembered. Everyone around her buzzed about the latest Gossip Girl blast, some even sparing glances at her as she passed in them in the hallway. Jenny didn’t pay too much attention to them because now that Agnes was gone, Jenny was back to being the new girl with the semi-bad hair cut and famous uncle. When lunch came, Jenny begged Eric to eat in the library with her, not wanting to sit through a lunch where Nate talked about his weekend with Vanessa.
After school was done, Jenny walked slowly towards the North East part of campus, not in a hurry to be locked in a room with Mr. Copperfield and Nate. The sky was cloudy, a dusky gray littering the atmosphere. When Jenny entered Mr. Copperfield’s classroom, he was sitting behind his desk reading an old book. Nate was sitting in the middle of the classroom, Chemistry book laid out in front of him as he took notes. Jenny took her seat quietly by the window, pulling out her sketch book and colored pencils.
Nate looked over at her, taking the time to look at Jenny. She was simple today in a plaid jumper mini dress, white button-down dress shirt underneath, and elegant flats. She was plain yet beautiful, no make-up on her face, her natural beauty shining through. She’d been gone a total of four days and Nate missed her every second of each of those days. He craved her, wanting to hear the sound of her voice, high-pitched laugh, and fragile body.
“I have to run across campus to a real quick meeting, so the two of you need to stay here and I’ll be right back”, Mr. Copperfield announced, the wooden chair scrapping against the hardwood floor as he stood, straitening his tie. He walked out the door, locking the two of them inside.
Jenny could feel heart beating faster, the audible click of the lock pounding in her ears. She could feel him as he rose from his seat, the familiar scraping sound of wood against parquet, as Nate sat down beside her.
“Hey”. She could feel the smile on his face, as he ran a hand through his tousled hair. Jenny could feel herself shaking, just thinking about the last time they were alone together, in a secluded place.
“Hi”. Jenny picked up at him from behind her hair, pushing it from her face. She held on tightly to the saffron colored pencil in her hand.
“How was you trip?”, he asked gently, making Jenny melt a bit. Looking into his sapphire eyes, Jenny then realized just how much she missed him. The bright smile on his face, the manly chuckle that was his laugh, and his lean muscular body. She also missed his voice, the way he would explain the lesson that she pretended not to understand.
Smiling softly, she said, “Fine”.
“I saw your uncles concert on TV. He did really great”.
Jenny nodded, remembering the concert from her point-of-view, “Do you want to see pictures?”.
Nate smiled, nodding his head. It should have been weird between them, but it wasn’t, surprising the both of them. Jenny pulled the pink digital camera from her bag, flipping through the various pictures for Nate to see. They both watched, the images flashing from Jenny herself, to Bex, to Rufus, group shots of the band, sound equipment guys and many more. There was one picture in particular that caught Nate’s eye. It was Jenny, her hair curled around her elegant face, a headband perched on top. She was on the stage, the soundmen setting up behind her, as she sat on one of the speakers. She was wearing jeans and a green tank top. The photographic Jenny was staring off into space, unaware of the fact that someone was taking a picture of her, unaware of the beauty she possessed.
“You look amazing there”, Nate complemented, turning to look at her.
They stared at each other, eyes connected in passion. It amazed them both how they always seemed to drift back to one another so easily after an argument. It was an astronomy gravitational force of Earth: the attraction due to gravitation that the Earth or another celestial body exerts on an object on or near its surface; it was gravity. Pulling them together after four days of separation. Nate inhaled softly, taking in the scent that he missed over the course of four days. She smelled of her usual scent of fuchsia and primrose. It was intoxicating, pulling him closer to her. Their lips were inches apart, when Nate connected them, kissing her with force.
It took a minute for Jenny to fully understand what was going on, before she pulled away roughly, rising from her chair, back flat against the window. “What are you doing? You have a girlfriend”.
Nate moved closer to her, pulling the chairs away as he did. He leaned towards her, putting both hands on the window on either side of Jenny, boxing her in. “Not anymore”.
She couldn’t breath, she couldn’t think, she couldn’t see. All that surrounded her was Nate. He was taking over her senses claiming them as his own. He was everywhere. In her mind, in her sight, on her lips, taking her breath away. “What are you talking about?”.
Nate reached down, capturing his phone from his pocket, placing it in her hand. The screen displayed the Gossip Girl blast from the day Agnes left. There were pictures of her and Agnes saying goodbye, but at the end of the post was a video that Nate saved to his phone. Pressing the ‘play’ button, Jenny braced herself for what Nate was about to show her. Jenny stared in disbelief, the video displaying a very public breakup between him and Vanessa. They were both screaming at each other, ending with Nate telling Vanessa it was over, no hint of remorse. Vanessa was screaming at Nate to reconsider, asking him if there was someone else. Nate’s response stunned Jenny, and audible ‘yes’ escaping from his lips. Jenny’s face ran hot as the video ended, clutching Nate’s phone in her hand.
She looked up at him, a huge grin on his face. Jenny didn’t know what to say, her words were tied together, crying for her to break them free. Nate took the opportunity to lean forward, connecting their mouths again. He gripped at her waist, pulling her further to him by the fabric of her dress. She felt so good in his arms, that Nate wanted to throw her down on the table and ravish her, fulfilling a fantasy he’d always had about her. Jenny responded to the kiss, sucking and biting his lower lip, her hand clutching the front of his shirt. They both pulled away, the need for air becoming a must. Foreheads resting together, they stared into one another’s eyes.
Nate moved his mouth to hers, but Jenny stopped him, turning her head to the side. “What?”.
Jenny looked away from him, trying to find the words. Nate put a hand under her chin, gently pulling her face to meet his eyes. “I…uh…you…don’t”.
He saw the moisture in her eyes, knowing where the situation was headed. “Jenny, I like you a lot, but why do I have to love you right now?”.
She stayed quiet, closing her eyes, a tear falling down her cheek. “I want to get to know you, Jenny”.
Jenny rushed a hand through her hair, not knowing what to say or feel. She liked Nate a lot, convincing herself that she was in love with him, but that was it. Never did Jenny let herself think about the possibility of Nate liking her back. Panic rushed though her, thinking about what would happen if the truth ever came out. If Nate found out about her past, the cutting, the abuse, the depression, her parents, all things that made up her past. What if Nate found out? What if the result would be him changing his feelings for her, taking back his words? What if the entire school found out, branding her once again a cutter. She couldn’t have it. She couldn’t have Nate change his mind, give her something great then take it away. It would kill her, no doubt sending her into an even greater depression than before.
------------->> Chapter Nine