on call

Jun 10, 2012 22:55

well, so depression doesn't magically go away when the summer starts and i relocate to another city. that's... reassuring, somehow? i guess?

introspection

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bubblingbeebles June 12 2012, 02:20:21 UTC
it's evidence that external factors are just influences

partly this reassurance is more precise: somewhere inside i worried that parts of pittsburgh - associations, whatnot - are closely tied to misery. this is probably still true, but it is not true that if i'd chosen to go somewhere not pittsburgh i would suddenly be joyous all the time.

my therapist keeps reminding me that i get to take my happiness with me to SF, too.

yes, this is a weak point for me. to some degree i don't feel like i take any of me ("none worth taking") and am at the mercy of the location - which may also be why it bugs me more that mountain view is kinda soulless (though that wasn't the problem yesterday).

i put on thoushaltnot on the walk home from work today and saw my happiness again.

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gregh1983 June 11 2012, 13:51:09 UTC
Yeah, unfortunately these things don't seem to have quick fixes :-/ If being busy helps (it did for me), at least there are tons of friends in the Bay Area to do things with, not to mention new stuff to do intellectually at work.

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bubblingbeebles June 12 2012, 02:32:45 UTC
being busy helps keep the head above water, but doesn't teach how to swim, if you will.

working on rust is great. it is a huge energy source.

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sleepsong June 14 2012, 00:24:33 UTC
*snuggle*

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