Laugh With the Sinners (GSF, PG-13)
Laugh With The Sinners
GSF | PG-13 | 2,000 words
They have their own way of saying goodbye.
Notes: The first part of this was co-written with trumpeterofdoom. ♥ Kevin-centric and a bit of an angst-fest, I'm afraid. Also, my first GSF! So many people to keep track of, yo.
They're all here. Together. Maybe for the last time. Kevin knows he'll see them all again - there's no way he'd ever give them up, not for anything in the world - but as Nick enters the room and locks the door behind him, he has the startling realization that they may never be like this again. This close. Sharing everything. Kevin's chest tightens and the air he tries to breathe in is shaky.
He'll make the most of this.
A desk lamp bathes the room in soft light. They all stand, looking at each other, breathing inaudibly - gathering courage. Finally Brian steps forward and places his hands on Kevin's chest. There's a sad smile on his face and Kevin marvels, silently, at the change. His hyper little cousin, always trailing behind him and Harold, now a grown man with a scar on his chest and laugh lines at his eyes.
Kevin grips Brian's arms and Brian kisses him, a feather-light touch of lips. It lingers for a moment longer than usual, and Brian presses another loving kiss to the corner of Kevin's mouth before he pulls away.
"Are you sure?" he asks quietly.
Kevin swallows hard before he nods. "Yeah," he croaks. His voice seems louder, suddenly, now that Brian is standing so close. He's all too aware of where Brian's hands are, and when he feels another pair of hands on him he fails to suppress a shiver.
Nick is moving slowly, deliberately as he embraces Kevin from behind. "It's your call," he whispers in his ear. "We don't have to."
Kevin's gaze falls on AJ. He looks so small now, hugging himself as Howie showers soft kisses on his neck. AJ's eyes are closed and he's trembling, leaning into Howie like he's all that's holding him upright. When Kevin says "I'm sure," he's speaking to Nick, but as AJ's eyes open it's him who nods.
Nick starts dropping soft kisses on his neck, travelling slowly along his hairline until he reaches his ear. He flicks it a little with his tongue before sucking gently on it, and all of a sudden Kevin feels his knees start to buckle. Nick's mouth travels down the side of his neck, and he slides his hands down to the buckle of Kevin's belt.
"I'm gonna miss you," Nick whispers, lips moist against his skin, and Kevin takes a deep breath.
"I'm not dying, you know," he mutters, trying to sound lighthearted, because he can't do this. He can't listen to Nick being serious, to Howie's hushed comforting words. He can't watch Brian look at AJ with so much helplessness in his eyes. He can't watch AJ fall apart.
Nick's hands stay at Kevin's waist, thumbs smoothing idly back and forth at the waistline of his pants. When Kevin looks at him, Nick is biting his lip. "I know," he says, and manages a crooked smile. He presses his forehead against Kevin's and lets out a hollow sigh. "I know," he says again, softer and sadder.
They stay like that for a while. Kevin only moves because he hears shuffling feet against the carpet, and then Howie is standing in front of him. He holds out his hand, and with a final kiss to the nape of Kevin's neck, Nick lets go. Kevin takes Howie's hand and Howie gently pulls him towards the bed.
They both sit down at the edge and Howie looks up at him. "I'll miss you, too," he says. "There won't be anyone else to help me control Nick." He manages a small smile, but his hands are shaking and Kevin has to stroke the inside of his wrist, making soft comforting sounds.
Kevin reaches out and cups the back of Howie's head, bringing him nearer before kissing him tentatively. Howie kisses him back, his lips warm and soft, with the vaguest hint of citrus lingering on them. He feels so vulnerable under Kevin's hands, so fragile. But Kevin has always known how strong Howie is.
Howie makes a needy sound as their kiss grows deeper, faster, and when he pulls away it's with a sharp gasp. He stares at Kevin, breathing hard, before he moves.
In that brief second Kevin watches the others. Brian and AJ are locked in a deep, unhurried, comforting kiss. Nick is standing behind AJ, doing something that has AJ whimpering and arching back. Brian's hands are on AJ's cheeks, cupping his face, and his thumbs are rubbing gently under AJ's eyes as he hums into the kiss. Kevin can only guess what he's wiping away.
Then all he sees is Howie, straddling him now. He runs a hand through Kevin's hair and they share a smile before Howie kisses him again. Kevin growls low in his throat and he doesn't even realize he's being pushed back until his back hits the mattress. Howie's hands find the hem of Kevin's shirt, pulling it off quickly before mouthing at Kevin's neck. Kevin slides his hands up to Howie's chest, rubbing lightly at his nipples through a thin layer of fabric. He hears Howie's soft moans of arousal, and before he knows it Howie's shirt is gone as well, the two of them now skin to skin.
"Love you," Howie gasps, rolling his hips with a low moan. He covers Kevin's mouth again, damp lips sliding against each other, and Kevin's reciprocation is swallowed between them. Unheard maybe, but Kevin is sure that Howie doesn't need to hear what he already knows.
He's so caught up in the way Howie tastes, the sounds Howie makes, that he barely notices when the mattress starts to dip. "Howie, man, you're hogging him," he hears Nick mumble, a hint of amusement in his voice. Suddenly Howie freezes; then, with a low, throaty groan, he buries his face in the crook of Kevin's neck and rolls his hips again. Kevin's eyelids are so heavy now that he has to force them open, and when he does he sees Nick, hovering over them and placing long, slow kisses on Howie's back. Loving him in a way only Nick knows to love Howie.
He thinks about losing them. Losing this. They'll go off now, the four of them, and make memories without him. For a second his throat closes up, and without thinking he nuzzles his nose in Howie's hair and breathes him in.
Nick is trailing kisses down Howie's spine. Kevin weaves his fingers into Nick's hair and he looks up for a brief second - he smiles, looking so young that Kevin's heart aches, and leans into Kevin's touch. Little Nick, who Kevin has loved and tried to protect ever since they met. Who always just wanted someone to look up to, someone he could trust to teach him what was right and wrong. He's rough around the edges now, jaded and a little broken, but Kevin loves him more because of it. Nick will be fine.
The sounds in the room are getting more distinct. Howie's shallow breaths in Kevin's ear. Nick's moist lips caressing Howie's skin. Kevin turns his head and watches Brian and AJ, sprawled out over what little space they have at the foot of the bed. Brian has pushed AJ's shirt up and is kissing his stomach, holding AJ's hips down when he occasionally bucks up in frustration. AJ's eyes are closed, his head thrown back, and when he groans his throat vibrates with it. His chest rises and falls fast, and it's all such a breathtaking image that Kevin has to suck in a sharp breath.
Brian looks up, his lips curling into a smile. "Trade you?" he mouths soundlessly, and Kevin nods. He kisses the top of Howie's head before he gently extricates himself, keeping one hand on Howie's chest and feeling the warmth of his skin. Howie looks at him, heavy-lidded eyes burning with arousal, before he too nods. They've always understood each other.
There isn't much room for Kevin and Brian to move in. He hears Nick mutter a muffled "ow," and then Brian's laughter fills his ears. "Sorry," Brian says, but Kevin doesn't look around to see what happens next.
AJ's eyes are open now, staring at Kevin as he moves closer. Kevin offers him a warm smile and leans over him. "Hi," he says. His voice is even lower than normal.
A short laugh escapes AJ's throat and he takes a deep breath. "Hey," he rasps, smiling back.
Kevin lets his hand trail over AJ's stomach, up to the part of his chest where his shirt is bunched up. AJ closes his eyes and swallows hard. Somewhere far off Kevin can hear Brian say something, a deep rumble of words, but he doesn't pay attention. He coaxes AJ to sit up and removes his shirt carefully, his hands running up AJ's arms as he goes. AJ watches him the whole time, eyes wide and red-rimmed, and when he can lower his arms again he pulls Kevin close. His lips cover Kevin's, needing to take charge, so Kevin places his hand at the back of AJ's head and lets him.
"I can't," AJ chokes, kissing Kevin's mouth, his jaw, his neck, "I don't - Kevin, how'm I supposed to - I-"
"Shh," Kevin hushes. "Shh, it's okay." He lowers them both back to the mattress and lets AJ kiss him again. AJ clings to him, making small noises that break Kevin's heart, little by little.
When his hand trails down to the waistline of AJ's pants, he feels more than hears AJ's surprised gasp. Kevin only kisses him deeper as he lets himself touch, explore, caress. It seems like an eternity before he finally lets his hand snake inside. AJ groans, long and hard, and bucks up into Kevin's hand. Kevin holds him in place and kisses his way down AJ's throat, mouthing the sensitive spots, feeling AJ's pulse race beneath his lips.
AJ moans a string of incoherent words and grabs Kevin's shoulders tight, his movements turning less controlled. "Oh, God," he breathes, pulling Kevin down for a messy, frantic kiss.
"I love you," Kevin whispers. It's the simplest thing he can say; the only thing he knows right now.
AJ comes with a loud sob, his entire body convulsing, shaking, tears sliding down his flushed face. Kevin holds him close and showers his face with kisses, murmuring loving words as AJ fights to keep himself together. Another body presses close, and Kevin looks up to see Nick lying down next to AJ. His hair is wild and tussled, his lips swollen, and when he presses his entire body against AJ's from head to toe, it takes Kevin's breath away.
They'll be okay. They'll take care of each other.
He looks up and sees Brian and Howie at the head of the bed, so caught up in each other that they hadn't even felt Nick slip away. Their legs are tangled together, Brian pinning Howie down and kissing him deeply as their fingers interlock over their heads. Howie's making a soft keening sound; a sound that only Brian seems to be able to bring out in him. Kevin can't help but smile. Watching them doesn't feel wrong. Loving them all like this has never been wrong.
He lowers himself down on the other side of AJ and pulls them both closer. He kisses a soft spot under AJ's jaw as he curls his arm around Nick's back, caressing the soft skin there. Nick offers him a lazy smile and nuzzles deeper into AJ's shoulder. Kevin sighs.
"Kevin?" AJ's voice is still a little choked up.
He closes his eyes. "Mm?"
"I-" There's a long pause, as if he doesn't know exactly what to say. Finally he murmurs, "I love you, too," and kisses the top of Kevin's head.
Kevin smiles. "Get some sleep. We'll talk more later."
Nick snorts. "How's that gonna happen with the porn twins still going at it back there? Finish up already," he calls out. It's no surprise to anyone that he's completely ignored.
Kevin can't help it; he feels the laughter bubble in his throat and when he lets it out, a piece of tension he didn't know was there disappears. Nick's grinning as well, completely helpless in the face of anyone who's happy.
A long time after, when they're all finally asleep in a mass of naked bodies pressed as closely together as they can, Kevin is still awake and watching them.
GSF | PG-13 | 2,000 words
They have their own way of saying goodbye.
Notes: The first part of this was co-written with trumpeterofdoom. ♥ Kevin-centric and a bit of an angst-fest, I'm afraid. Also, my first GSF! So many people to keep track of, yo.
They're all here. Together. Maybe for the last time. Kevin knows he'll see them all again - there's no way he'd ever give them up, not for anything in the world - but as Nick enters the room and locks the door behind him, he has the startling realization that they may never be like this again. This close. Sharing everything. Kevin's chest tightens and the air he tries to breathe in is shaky.
He'll make the most of this.
A desk lamp bathes the room in soft light. They all stand, looking at each other, breathing inaudibly - gathering courage. Finally Brian steps forward and places his hands on Kevin's chest. There's a sad smile on his face and Kevin marvels, silently, at the change. His hyper little cousin, always trailing behind him and Harold, now a grown man with a scar on his chest and laugh lines at his eyes.
Kevin grips Brian's arms and Brian kisses him, a feather-light touch of lips. It lingers for a moment longer than usual, and Brian presses another loving kiss to the corner of Kevin's mouth before he pulls away.
"Are you sure?" he asks quietly.
Kevin swallows hard before he nods. "Yeah," he croaks. His voice seems louder, suddenly, now that Brian is standing so close. He's all too aware of where Brian's hands are, and when he feels another pair of hands on him he fails to suppress a shiver.
Nick is moving slowly, deliberately as he embraces Kevin from behind. "It's your call," he whispers in his ear. "We don't have to."
Kevin's gaze falls on AJ. He looks so small now, hugging himself as Howie showers soft kisses on his neck. AJ's eyes are closed and he's trembling, leaning into Howie like he's all that's holding him upright. When Kevin says "I'm sure," he's speaking to Nick, but as AJ's eyes open it's him who nods.
Nick starts dropping soft kisses on his neck, travelling slowly along his hairline until he reaches his ear. He flicks it a little with his tongue before sucking gently on it, and all of a sudden Kevin feels his knees start to buckle. Nick's mouth travels down the side of his neck, and he slides his hands down to the buckle of Kevin's belt.
"I'm gonna miss you," Nick whispers, lips moist against his skin, and Kevin takes a deep breath.
"I'm not dying, you know," he mutters, trying to sound lighthearted, because he can't do this. He can't listen to Nick being serious, to Howie's hushed comforting words. He can't watch Brian look at AJ with so much helplessness in his eyes. He can't watch AJ fall apart.
Nick's hands stay at Kevin's waist, thumbs smoothing idly back and forth at the waistline of his pants. When Kevin looks at him, Nick is biting his lip. "I know," he says, and manages a crooked smile. He presses his forehead against Kevin's and lets out a hollow sigh. "I know," he says again, softer and sadder.
They stay like that for a while. Kevin only moves because he hears shuffling feet against the carpet, and then Howie is standing in front of him. He holds out his hand, and with a final kiss to the nape of Kevin's neck, Nick lets go. Kevin takes Howie's hand and Howie gently pulls him towards the bed.
They both sit down at the edge and Howie looks up at him. "I'll miss you, too," he says. "There won't be anyone else to help me control Nick." He manages a small smile, but his hands are shaking and Kevin has to stroke the inside of his wrist, making soft comforting sounds.
Kevin reaches out and cups the back of Howie's head, bringing him nearer before kissing him tentatively. Howie kisses him back, his lips warm and soft, with the vaguest hint of citrus lingering on them. He feels so vulnerable under Kevin's hands, so fragile. But Kevin has always known how strong Howie is.
Howie makes a needy sound as their kiss grows deeper, faster, and when he pulls away it's with a sharp gasp. He stares at Kevin, breathing hard, before he moves.
In that brief second Kevin watches the others. Brian and AJ are locked in a deep, unhurried, comforting kiss. Nick is standing behind AJ, doing something that has AJ whimpering and arching back. Brian's hands are on AJ's cheeks, cupping his face, and his thumbs are rubbing gently under AJ's eyes as he hums into the kiss. Kevin can only guess what he's wiping away.
Then all he sees is Howie, straddling him now. He runs a hand through Kevin's hair and they share a smile before Howie kisses him again. Kevin growls low in his throat and he doesn't even realize he's being pushed back until his back hits the mattress. Howie's hands find the hem of Kevin's shirt, pulling it off quickly before mouthing at Kevin's neck. Kevin slides his hands up to Howie's chest, rubbing lightly at his nipples through a thin layer of fabric. He hears Howie's soft moans of arousal, and before he knows it Howie's shirt is gone as well, the two of them now skin to skin.
"Love you," Howie gasps, rolling his hips with a low moan. He covers Kevin's mouth again, damp lips sliding against each other, and Kevin's reciprocation is swallowed between them. Unheard maybe, but Kevin is sure that Howie doesn't need to hear what he already knows.
He's so caught up in the way Howie tastes, the sounds Howie makes, that he barely notices when the mattress starts to dip. "Howie, man, you're hogging him," he hears Nick mumble, a hint of amusement in his voice. Suddenly Howie freezes; then, with a low, throaty groan, he buries his face in the crook of Kevin's neck and rolls his hips again. Kevin's eyelids are so heavy now that he has to force them open, and when he does he sees Nick, hovering over them and placing long, slow kisses on Howie's back. Loving him in a way only Nick knows to love Howie.
He thinks about losing them. Losing this. They'll go off now, the four of them, and make memories without him. For a second his throat closes up, and without thinking he nuzzles his nose in Howie's hair and breathes him in.
Nick is trailing kisses down Howie's spine. Kevin weaves his fingers into Nick's hair and he looks up for a brief second - he smiles, looking so young that Kevin's heart aches, and leans into Kevin's touch. Little Nick, who Kevin has loved and tried to protect ever since they met. Who always just wanted someone to look up to, someone he could trust to teach him what was right and wrong. He's rough around the edges now, jaded and a little broken, but Kevin loves him more because of it. Nick will be fine.
The sounds in the room are getting more distinct. Howie's shallow breaths in Kevin's ear. Nick's moist lips caressing Howie's skin. Kevin turns his head and watches Brian and AJ, sprawled out over what little space they have at the foot of the bed. Brian has pushed AJ's shirt up and is kissing his stomach, holding AJ's hips down when he occasionally bucks up in frustration. AJ's eyes are closed, his head thrown back, and when he groans his throat vibrates with it. His chest rises and falls fast, and it's all such a breathtaking image that Kevin has to suck in a sharp breath.
Brian looks up, his lips curling into a smile. "Trade you?" he mouths soundlessly, and Kevin nods. He kisses the top of Howie's head before he gently extricates himself, keeping one hand on Howie's chest and feeling the warmth of his skin. Howie looks at him, heavy-lidded eyes burning with arousal, before he too nods. They've always understood each other.
There isn't much room for Kevin and Brian to move in. He hears Nick mutter a muffled "ow," and then Brian's laughter fills his ears. "Sorry," Brian says, but Kevin doesn't look around to see what happens next.
AJ's eyes are open now, staring at Kevin as he moves closer. Kevin offers him a warm smile and leans over him. "Hi," he says. His voice is even lower than normal.
A short laugh escapes AJ's throat and he takes a deep breath. "Hey," he rasps, smiling back.
Kevin lets his hand trail over AJ's stomach, up to the part of his chest where his shirt is bunched up. AJ closes his eyes and swallows hard. Somewhere far off Kevin can hear Brian say something, a deep rumble of words, but he doesn't pay attention. He coaxes AJ to sit up and removes his shirt carefully, his hands running up AJ's arms as he goes. AJ watches him the whole time, eyes wide and red-rimmed, and when he can lower his arms again he pulls Kevin close. His lips cover Kevin's, needing to take charge, so Kevin places his hand at the back of AJ's head and lets him.
"I can't," AJ chokes, kissing Kevin's mouth, his jaw, his neck, "I don't - Kevin, how'm I supposed to - I-"
"Shh," Kevin hushes. "Shh, it's okay." He lowers them both back to the mattress and lets AJ kiss him again. AJ clings to him, making small noises that break Kevin's heart, little by little.
When his hand trails down to the waistline of AJ's pants, he feels more than hears AJ's surprised gasp. Kevin only kisses him deeper as he lets himself touch, explore, caress. It seems like an eternity before he finally lets his hand snake inside. AJ groans, long and hard, and bucks up into Kevin's hand. Kevin holds him in place and kisses his way down AJ's throat, mouthing the sensitive spots, feeling AJ's pulse race beneath his lips.
AJ moans a string of incoherent words and grabs Kevin's shoulders tight, his movements turning less controlled. "Oh, God," he breathes, pulling Kevin down for a messy, frantic kiss.
"I love you," Kevin whispers. It's the simplest thing he can say; the only thing he knows right now.
AJ comes with a loud sob, his entire body convulsing, shaking, tears sliding down his flushed face. Kevin holds him close and showers his face with kisses, murmuring loving words as AJ fights to keep himself together. Another body presses close, and Kevin looks up to see Nick lying down next to AJ. His hair is wild and tussled, his lips swollen, and when he presses his entire body against AJ's from head to toe, it takes Kevin's breath away.
They'll be okay. They'll take care of each other.
He looks up and sees Brian and Howie at the head of the bed, so caught up in each other that they hadn't even felt Nick slip away. Their legs are tangled together, Brian pinning Howie down and kissing him deeply as their fingers interlock over their heads. Howie's making a soft keening sound; a sound that only Brian seems to be able to bring out in him. Kevin can't help but smile. Watching them doesn't feel wrong. Loving them all like this has never been wrong.
He lowers himself down on the other side of AJ and pulls them both closer. He kisses a soft spot under AJ's jaw as he curls his arm around Nick's back, caressing the soft skin there. Nick offers him a lazy smile and nuzzles deeper into AJ's shoulder. Kevin sighs.
"Kevin?" AJ's voice is still a little choked up.
He closes his eyes. "Mm?"
"I-" There's a long pause, as if he doesn't know exactly what to say. Finally he murmurs, "I love you, too," and kisses the top of Kevin's head.
Kevin smiles. "Get some sleep. We'll talk more later."
Nick snorts. "How's that gonna happen with the porn twins still going at it back there? Finish up already," he calls out. It's no surprise to anyone that he's completely ignored.
Kevin can't help it; he feels the laughter bubble in his throat and when he lets it out, a piece of tension he didn't know was there disappears. Nick's grinning as well, completely helpless in the face of anyone who's happy.
A long time after, when they're all finally asleep in a mass of naked bodies pressed as closely together as they can, Kevin is still awake and watching them.