Heart to Heart - Chapter Seaven
Title: Heart to Heart
Rating: T
Story Summary: At the decommissioning of the Battlestar Galactica, Commander Adama deals with an angry son and an even angrier ex-wife.
Chapt Summary: Laura deals with the loss of her family and Bill gets a surprise from his ex-wife.
A/N: I know it's been like 2 weeks since an update but I am officially moved to the other side of the world so hopefully the craziness will calm down now. Don't have a beta so all mistakes are mine. Still don't own any of the BSG characters.
You feel broken.
Time lost its meaning for a while. So did you. But only for a while. There is only a limited grieving period before you have to be back to work; back to normal. Or as normal as you’ll ever be now.
At the start you muddle through. You would hide in a supply closet at the school so people wouldn’t see your red eyes and you found yourself crying over the sink as you washed dishes. Now you’ve mastered the art of appearances: Appearing to be fine when really you feel as though you’re falling apart, bit by bit.
It’s simple really, to seem interested enough so people won’t suspect. Laugh at people’s jokes, but never the loudest. Smile at people when they greet you, but never greet them back. It becomes a habit and soon you find yourself as the most polite person with very little human interaction.
Of course this is a lot harder to do at home. Living with someone, even if they never asked you to live with them, makes it harder to hide everything. Too scared to face your own house with pictures and constant reminders of what you had lost, you now come home to a small house with an occupant who watches your every move.
To trick him is harder. His eyes glide over your features, watching for any sign of a meltdown. All you can do is smile bright, kiss with as much passion as you can muster, and continue with the mundane chores around the house.
He believes the facade and it upsets you. It shouldn’t, this is what you wanted after all, but if there was any person out there who would see through this disguise, it’s him. But as he slips an arm around your waist in bed and snuggles closer until his chest presses against your back, you think you’ve fooled him. He bought the charade you put on and now it’s too late to go back.
Or so you think.
xxx
“Bill? Bill, have you seen my other earring?”
“There’s a blue one here by the sink, is that it?”
“No it’s a red one. It has a gold......oh never mind I found it!” Laura spun on her heel to make her way to the narrow bathroom, slipping the earring on as she edged her way past Bill. She managed to squeeze herself between his solid body and the sink, bending forward slightly to check her make-up in the mirror.
Bill moved her hair out of his way and placed a loving kiss against her neck. She could feel him smile against her skin when she shivered at his touch.
“I miss you.” To say she was shocked at the soft words he mumbled to her was an understatement. Her eyes met his in the mirror, hers questioning, his unbearably sad.
“I’m right here.” She tried to laugh it off but his grim expression remained. His shook his head, eyes never breaking contact with hers.
“No you’re not. It’s been four months since you lost them,” his arms wrapped around her tightly as he recognised the fear that had worked its way into her posture, her flight reflex taking over, “and it’s been four months since I lost the woman I fell in love with.”
“I don’t know if she’ll ever come back, Bill.”
“When my mother and sister............” his words trailed off. She knew how hard it was for him to talk about the death of his mother and sister, probably as difficult as she found it to talk about her own loss.
“You’ll never be the same person, Laura. I never talked to Carolanne about them and she just accepted that it was a part of my life that she would never know about. I want to know everything about you. About what you think, how you think, what you feel. So when you’re ready,” he paused to place one more kiss against her shoulder and release his hands from around her waist, stepping back from her, “maybe we can sit down and talk about it. I’ll wait as long as you need me to.”
With that he moved from the bathroom and out of his/their bedroom. Laura stood unblinkingly at the sink, staring back at her surprised form in the mirror. That had to have been the strangest conversation she ever had in a bathroom.
xxx
Bill hopped impatiently from foot to foot on the worn porch of Carolanne’s home. It worried him that she had called and asked to see him in the middle of the afternoon. The boys were in school so it was just the two of them and he hadn’t mentioned it to Laura. She had so much on her mind lately anyway.
Just as his thoughts turned back to Laura, as they often did, the wooden door inched open slowly. Standing in the entrance of what was once his home was a woman who was once his wife. That woman had gone, disappeared into the smokey haze that was his marriage.
Her dishevelled appearance shocked him. Frightened him even. This wasn’t the well put together, wasp like woman who bore his children. This was a hollow shell of that vibrant woman, a carbon copy with a completely different personality.
“Thank you for coming, Bill.” It wasn’t until she spoke that he realised he had been silently staring at her from the steps of the house. She stepped aside allowing him to pass her and enter the dark hallway.
Bill’s memories of this house were both good and bad. The spot where Lee took his first steps, the room where Zak spoke his first words. And of course, the room at the back of the house, furthest away from the others where Bill and Carolanne used to argue, trying to keep their angry tones hushed so the boys wouldn’t hear them. Images and memories flashed through his mind as he made his way to the living room. Their emotional distance now mirrored as they chose seats on the opposite sides of the room.
“Carolanne I-“
“Stop. Bill this is gonna be easier if I say this quickly and get it over with.” He considered interrupting once more but decided to let her do this her own way. He sat back in his seat and nodded at her to carry on.
“When we got divorced, I thought it was for the best. It still is. We’re not meant to be and we probably never were. Too different and yet too similar at the same time.” She paused as they both chuckled. Her statement completely rang true to him.
“Being a parent and married to someone like you who is absent for so long is hard, but being a parent and being divorced from someone like you is even harder.” The tension in the room grew considerably and Bill could see the sadness etched across her once beautiful features.
“I turned to drink to cope, I realise that now. I drank more than I used to and more than I should. Lee mentioned it to me one day. My own son...” At this she finally broke. Sorrowful sobs shook her body and Bill rushed to her side, wrapping an arm around her shoulder in comfort, pulling her closer to him.
“You’re a good mother, Carolanne.” He repeated it over and over as a mantra until she gradually began to calm down.
“I used to be, Bill, I really did. I could see the boys light up when I came into the room. You know who they talk about most of the time now?” He shook his head to say no, although he had a sneaking suspicion of who it was. “You.” Her sad voice confirmed his suspicions.
Conflicted emotions surged within him. On one hand he was elated to hear that his kids talked about him, the thought he had lost them by being absent so much, but here was his ex-wife with her heart breaking in front of him afraid she had lost her kids.
“What do you need, Carolanne?”
“Not me. Lee and Zak.” Bill’s quizzical gaze met her tear-filled worried one. “I’ve signed myself up for a treatment centre. A rehab clinic. I need the help, it’s only two months. You know I wouldn’t ask if I wasn’t desperate.”
“Of course, these are my kids and despite how things ended between us, I still care for you.” He punctuated this with a kiss to her forehead.
“I’m sorry to put this on you and Laura.” Bill pulled back in shock. He had never brought Laura up in front of Carolanne. At his surprised gawp she laughed thickly, her throat still raw from her earlier bout of crying.
“The boys talk about her all the time. She sounds wonderful, I’m happy for you, Bill.” The sincerity in her voice touched him.
“Thank you. I’ll be by to pick the boys up in a few days. Make sure they have everything they need for a long stay with me and then, concentrate on getting better. OK?”
She smiled sweetly at him and walked him back to his car. He could tell a weight had been lifted from her shoulders and could feel it being transferred to his broad ones as he wondered how Laura was going to take the news.
xxx
Laura stood in the hallway of her old home. Boxes that she had packed lay at her feet, awaiting her to transport them to their new home.
Bill’s home.
Her home.
Their home.
He had welcomed her into his house unquestioningly after.........the incident. She had to find some way to reconnect with him. Not the lies of the last four months.
Fake smiles, fake laughter, fake happiness.
This was it.
She had called a realtor from her office and met him at her house after school. Now the bare living room looked back at her, empty except for the memories. She was giving herself over to a man she loved and cherished and who deserved more of her than what she had been giving him. This was how she showed him she was coming back to him.
This was it.
Chapter Eight
Rating: T
Story Summary: At the decommissioning of the Battlestar Galactica, Commander Adama deals with an angry son and an even angrier ex-wife.
Chapt Summary: Laura deals with the loss of her family and Bill gets a surprise from his ex-wife.
A/N: I know it's been like 2 weeks since an update but I am officially moved to the other side of the world so hopefully the craziness will calm down now. Don't have a beta so all mistakes are mine. Still don't own any of the BSG characters.
You feel broken.
Time lost its meaning for a while. So did you. But only for a while. There is only a limited grieving period before you have to be back to work; back to normal. Or as normal as you’ll ever be now.
At the start you muddle through. You would hide in a supply closet at the school so people wouldn’t see your red eyes and you found yourself crying over the sink as you washed dishes. Now you’ve mastered the art of appearances: Appearing to be fine when really you feel as though you’re falling apart, bit by bit.
It’s simple really, to seem interested enough so people won’t suspect. Laugh at people’s jokes, but never the loudest. Smile at people when they greet you, but never greet them back. It becomes a habit and soon you find yourself as the most polite person with very little human interaction.
Of course this is a lot harder to do at home. Living with someone, even if they never asked you to live with them, makes it harder to hide everything. Too scared to face your own house with pictures and constant reminders of what you had lost, you now come home to a small house with an occupant who watches your every move.
To trick him is harder. His eyes glide over your features, watching for any sign of a meltdown. All you can do is smile bright, kiss with as much passion as you can muster, and continue with the mundane chores around the house.
He believes the facade and it upsets you. It shouldn’t, this is what you wanted after all, but if there was any person out there who would see through this disguise, it’s him. But as he slips an arm around your waist in bed and snuggles closer until his chest presses against your back, you think you’ve fooled him. He bought the charade you put on and now it’s too late to go back.
Or so you think.
xxx
“Bill? Bill, have you seen my other earring?”
“There’s a blue one here by the sink, is that it?”
“No it’s a red one. It has a gold......oh never mind I found it!” Laura spun on her heel to make her way to the narrow bathroom, slipping the earring on as she edged her way past Bill. She managed to squeeze herself between his solid body and the sink, bending forward slightly to check her make-up in the mirror.
Bill moved her hair out of his way and placed a loving kiss against her neck. She could feel him smile against her skin when she shivered at his touch.
“I miss you.” To say she was shocked at the soft words he mumbled to her was an understatement. Her eyes met his in the mirror, hers questioning, his unbearably sad.
“I’m right here.” She tried to laugh it off but his grim expression remained. His shook his head, eyes never breaking contact with hers.
“No you’re not. It’s been four months since you lost them,” his arms wrapped around her tightly as he recognised the fear that had worked its way into her posture, her flight reflex taking over, “and it’s been four months since I lost the woman I fell in love with.”
“I don’t know if she’ll ever come back, Bill.”
“When my mother and sister............” his words trailed off. She knew how hard it was for him to talk about the death of his mother and sister, probably as difficult as she found it to talk about her own loss.
“You’ll never be the same person, Laura. I never talked to Carolanne about them and she just accepted that it was a part of my life that she would never know about. I want to know everything about you. About what you think, how you think, what you feel. So when you’re ready,” he paused to place one more kiss against her shoulder and release his hands from around her waist, stepping back from her, “maybe we can sit down and talk about it. I’ll wait as long as you need me to.”
With that he moved from the bathroom and out of his/their bedroom. Laura stood unblinkingly at the sink, staring back at her surprised form in the mirror. That had to have been the strangest conversation she ever had in a bathroom.
xxx
Bill hopped impatiently from foot to foot on the worn porch of Carolanne’s home. It worried him that she had called and asked to see him in the middle of the afternoon. The boys were in school so it was just the two of them and he hadn’t mentioned it to Laura. She had so much on her mind lately anyway.
Just as his thoughts turned back to Laura, as they often did, the wooden door inched open slowly. Standing in the entrance of what was once his home was a woman who was once his wife. That woman had gone, disappeared into the smokey haze that was his marriage.
Her dishevelled appearance shocked him. Frightened him even. This wasn’t the well put together, wasp like woman who bore his children. This was a hollow shell of that vibrant woman, a carbon copy with a completely different personality.
“Thank you for coming, Bill.” It wasn’t until she spoke that he realised he had been silently staring at her from the steps of the house. She stepped aside allowing him to pass her and enter the dark hallway.
Bill’s memories of this house were both good and bad. The spot where Lee took his first steps, the room where Zak spoke his first words. And of course, the room at the back of the house, furthest away from the others where Bill and Carolanne used to argue, trying to keep their angry tones hushed so the boys wouldn’t hear them. Images and memories flashed through his mind as he made his way to the living room. Their emotional distance now mirrored as they chose seats on the opposite sides of the room.
“Carolanne I-“
“Stop. Bill this is gonna be easier if I say this quickly and get it over with.” He considered interrupting once more but decided to let her do this her own way. He sat back in his seat and nodded at her to carry on.
“When we got divorced, I thought it was for the best. It still is. We’re not meant to be and we probably never were. Too different and yet too similar at the same time.” She paused as they both chuckled. Her statement completely rang true to him.
“Being a parent and married to someone like you who is absent for so long is hard, but being a parent and being divorced from someone like you is even harder.” The tension in the room grew considerably and Bill could see the sadness etched across her once beautiful features.
“I turned to drink to cope, I realise that now. I drank more than I used to and more than I should. Lee mentioned it to me one day. My own son...” At this she finally broke. Sorrowful sobs shook her body and Bill rushed to her side, wrapping an arm around her shoulder in comfort, pulling her closer to him.
“You’re a good mother, Carolanne.” He repeated it over and over as a mantra until she gradually began to calm down.
“I used to be, Bill, I really did. I could see the boys light up when I came into the room. You know who they talk about most of the time now?” He shook his head to say no, although he had a sneaking suspicion of who it was. “You.” Her sad voice confirmed his suspicions.
Conflicted emotions surged within him. On one hand he was elated to hear that his kids talked about him, the thought he had lost them by being absent so much, but here was his ex-wife with her heart breaking in front of him afraid she had lost her kids.
“What do you need, Carolanne?”
“Not me. Lee and Zak.” Bill’s quizzical gaze met her tear-filled worried one. “I’ve signed myself up for a treatment centre. A rehab clinic. I need the help, it’s only two months. You know I wouldn’t ask if I wasn’t desperate.”
“Of course, these are my kids and despite how things ended between us, I still care for you.” He punctuated this with a kiss to her forehead.
“I’m sorry to put this on you and Laura.” Bill pulled back in shock. He had never brought Laura up in front of Carolanne. At his surprised gawp she laughed thickly, her throat still raw from her earlier bout of crying.
“The boys talk about her all the time. She sounds wonderful, I’m happy for you, Bill.” The sincerity in her voice touched him.
“Thank you. I’ll be by to pick the boys up in a few days. Make sure they have everything they need for a long stay with me and then, concentrate on getting better. OK?”
She smiled sweetly at him and walked him back to his car. He could tell a weight had been lifted from her shoulders and could feel it being transferred to his broad ones as he wondered how Laura was going to take the news.
xxx
Laura stood in the hallway of her old home. Boxes that she had packed lay at her feet, awaiting her to transport them to their new home.
Bill’s home.
Her home.
Their home.
He had welcomed her into his house unquestioningly after.........the incident. She had to find some way to reconnect with him. Not the lies of the last four months.
Fake smiles, fake laughter, fake happiness.
This was it.
She had called a realtor from her office and met him at her house after school. Now the bare living room looked back at her, empty except for the memories. She was giving herself over to a man she loved and cherished and who deserved more of her than what she had been giving him. This was how she showed him she was coming back to him.
This was it.
Chapter Eight