Gina/Cain fiiiiiic
Pairing: Gina/Cain
Spoilers: I guess regarding the as yet to air "Razor"
Rating: R
timeframe: pre-attack to Resurrection Ship, Pt. 2
This is pretty angsty, I suppose. Deals with the relationship that Razor will evidently imply.
No beta because I'm leaving the country tomorrow. Which sounds sort of criminal-y. hee.
Hold a Mirror to My Face and Tell Me It Remains the Same
Light is coming in under the hatch and your mind is immersed in a hundred memories from your school days. You learned about the great iron battleships in Mrs. Homer's fifth grade history class. You learned that when they went down in churning seas the water seeped through causeways and crashed into corridors until everything was submerged and hazy; flecked with brine. Foggy and dull like it is now.
You remember slowly that you are planetside on leave. Common sense hits you and you remember that light can't penetrate the steel hatches of a battlestar. You are somewhere else completely.
You feel a touch of skin against your own, somewhere near your hip and you see a flash of navy blue against a leather chair and the light spilling into the room from the open doorway makes more sense to you now.
She's still asleep beside you, her features bold even when she is relaxed. Hers is not a face that remains unguarded but when she sleeps there is a clear compromise written somewhere on it. She will rest but the press of her lips will not ever slacken completely. She will dream but the line of her brow will not ease up with the lifted weight of relief.
You lean forward, the sheets forgotten somewhere on the floor. Your skin feels cool under the slowly turning fan and you inch closer to her out of instinct or some learned behavior. You wonder why she inspires such tenderness in you.
She is a hard woman. You don't try to convice yourself otherwise and perhaps that is why she feels drawn to you.
She is not a woman who craves nurturing and she never expects sympathy.
So it puzzles you sometimes when she allows this easy, lasting quiet.
It startles you out of your thoughts when her hand catches yours over her stomach and she brings it to her lips. You can almost see the smile but your hand is in the way.
You work your fingers until her hand is held within yours. It's smaller than your own and you almost smile because it just seems so unlikely.
You kiss a fingertip lightly and place her hand on your breast. There isn't much time now.
-
She is covered in sweat. She is shaking.
She doesn't even notice you. Your hand against her cheek and your soothing murmurs against her ear are ignored or unheard. You can't reach her.
There is a moment of panic in you as she surges up and suddenly her eyes are open and she is stiff against you.
Your hands are on her shoulders and you can feel her chest against your body, rising like a bellows.
You heard her say the word.
Cylon.
You wonder if she will tolerate this closeness. You wonder if she will suddenly pull away. You whisper, "It was a dream, Helena. You're fine."
She nods. She doesn't seem ashamed that you have seen this weakness. You wonder if it is possible for her to be fast asleep and wide awake.
Her eyes are sparkling.
"It was a dream?"
You stroke her hair once. "Of course it was."
-
The XO is gone and for the moment, there is an empty office.
She looks absolutely sharp in her uniform. Angles and planes. Tough enough to cut glass.
"Come here," she says.
And you go. Because you've fallen in love, haven't you?
She pulls you against her and you press your hips squarely into hers. The weight of you pushes her back against the desk that she swears she's going get rid of. She told you last night that she wouldn't have chairs in her office. You laughed at her and said she'd never go through with it.
You walked in this morning and saw how foolish you were to doubt it.
-
She pushes you into the cabin and when your back collides with the wall she actually laughs. It isn't cruelty. At least, you don't think it is.
She never hurts you. Never hits you. You can't remember a time she's lifted her voice to you.
Sometimes though, she is forceful when you make love. You encourage her. You like to watch her when she comes unwound.
So with your back against the wall, you open your arms and she steps into them.
-
You sit up so quickly your head spins. You are disoriented. Wild seconds pass and you somehow suspect it was her dream and not your own.
You glance over at her. She is stirring but not waking. She is peaceful.
Cylon.
The word is in your mouth and your head. Cylon.
-
You are coming apart beneath her. She is moving so fast and so hard and so perfectly that you can think of little else.
You can't bring yourself to think this will be the last time she has her mouth at your chest or her hand between your legs. You can't think about that but it doesn't mean it's not true.
The dreams are more frequent now. Yours and hers. Dreaming about Cylons, the both of you.
She has never told you what happened. You know what everyone does. You try not to be hurt.
You are beginning to understand that there is a part of your brain that doesn't belong to you. Eventually it will take over and you will be like a stranger. Will you even know yourself?
There is a part of your brain that isn't yours and a part of your soul that doesn't belong to the Gods you once thought it did and a piece of your heart that belongs to the woman who is somewhere above you. Always somewhere above you.
She is moving inside of you now and you are gasping and drawing her closer because you might never be able to again.
-
The cage is large. You can't bring yourself to hate it. You thought it would be over. You thought you would be away from here and the people and the noises and the sight of brown clouds rising over green landscape.
You're still here though and you know it hasn't begun to get bad.
She hasn't come here yet. You know without a doubt that she will.
You think back on your life. Try to get to the surest point of origin. Where is the beginning? You think of your mother and your father and your younger brother.
Things that weren't real. Things you never had. People you never knew.
The earliest thing you remember is her.
You know that when the day comes and she enters your cage, you will be able to hate it.
-
There is the slightest hint of a smile on her face when you pull the trigger. She is brave though and you don't have the heart to make her suffer.
You are not what she is, in the end.
f-.
Spoilers: I guess regarding the as yet to air "Razor"
Rating: R
timeframe: pre-attack to Resurrection Ship, Pt. 2
This is pretty angsty, I suppose. Deals with the relationship that Razor will evidently imply.
No beta because I'm leaving the country tomorrow. Which sounds sort of criminal-y. hee.
Hold a Mirror to My Face and Tell Me It Remains the Same
Light is coming in under the hatch and your mind is immersed in a hundred memories from your school days. You learned about the great iron battleships in Mrs. Homer's fifth grade history class. You learned that when they went down in churning seas the water seeped through causeways and crashed into corridors until everything was submerged and hazy; flecked with brine. Foggy and dull like it is now.
You remember slowly that you are planetside on leave. Common sense hits you and you remember that light can't penetrate the steel hatches of a battlestar. You are somewhere else completely.
You feel a touch of skin against your own, somewhere near your hip and you see a flash of navy blue against a leather chair and the light spilling into the room from the open doorway makes more sense to you now.
She's still asleep beside you, her features bold even when she is relaxed. Hers is not a face that remains unguarded but when she sleeps there is a clear compromise written somewhere on it. She will rest but the press of her lips will not ever slacken completely. She will dream but the line of her brow will not ease up with the lifted weight of relief.
You lean forward, the sheets forgotten somewhere on the floor. Your skin feels cool under the slowly turning fan and you inch closer to her out of instinct or some learned behavior. You wonder why she inspires such tenderness in you.
She is a hard woman. You don't try to convice yourself otherwise and perhaps that is why she feels drawn to you.
She is not a woman who craves nurturing and she never expects sympathy.
So it puzzles you sometimes when she allows this easy, lasting quiet.
It startles you out of your thoughts when her hand catches yours over her stomach and she brings it to her lips. You can almost see the smile but your hand is in the way.
You work your fingers until her hand is held within yours. It's smaller than your own and you almost smile because it just seems so unlikely.
You kiss a fingertip lightly and place her hand on your breast. There isn't much time now.
-
She is covered in sweat. She is shaking.
She doesn't even notice you. Your hand against her cheek and your soothing murmurs against her ear are ignored or unheard. You can't reach her.
There is a moment of panic in you as she surges up and suddenly her eyes are open and she is stiff against you.
Your hands are on her shoulders and you can feel her chest against your body, rising like a bellows.
You heard her say the word.
Cylon.
You wonder if she will tolerate this closeness. You wonder if she will suddenly pull away. You whisper, "It was a dream, Helena. You're fine."
She nods. She doesn't seem ashamed that you have seen this weakness. You wonder if it is possible for her to be fast asleep and wide awake.
Her eyes are sparkling.
"It was a dream?"
You stroke her hair once. "Of course it was."
-
The XO is gone and for the moment, there is an empty office.
She looks absolutely sharp in her uniform. Angles and planes. Tough enough to cut glass.
"Come here," she says.
And you go. Because you've fallen in love, haven't you?
She pulls you against her and you press your hips squarely into hers. The weight of you pushes her back against the desk that she swears she's going get rid of. She told you last night that she wouldn't have chairs in her office. You laughed at her and said she'd never go through with it.
You walked in this morning and saw how foolish you were to doubt it.
-
She pushes you into the cabin and when your back collides with the wall she actually laughs. It isn't cruelty. At least, you don't think it is.
She never hurts you. Never hits you. You can't remember a time she's lifted her voice to you.
Sometimes though, she is forceful when you make love. You encourage her. You like to watch her when she comes unwound.
So with your back against the wall, you open your arms and she steps into them.
-
You sit up so quickly your head spins. You are disoriented. Wild seconds pass and you somehow suspect it was her dream and not your own.
You glance over at her. She is stirring but not waking. She is peaceful.
Cylon.
The word is in your mouth and your head. Cylon.
-
You are coming apart beneath her. She is moving so fast and so hard and so perfectly that you can think of little else.
You can't bring yourself to think this will be the last time she has her mouth at your chest or her hand between your legs. You can't think about that but it doesn't mean it's not true.
The dreams are more frequent now. Yours and hers. Dreaming about Cylons, the both of you.
She has never told you what happened. You know what everyone does. You try not to be hurt.
You are beginning to understand that there is a part of your brain that doesn't belong to you. Eventually it will take over and you will be like a stranger. Will you even know yourself?
There is a part of your brain that isn't yours and a part of your soul that doesn't belong to the Gods you once thought it did and a piece of your heart that belongs to the woman who is somewhere above you. Always somewhere above you.
She is moving inside of you now and you are gasping and drawing her closer because you might never be able to again.
-
The cage is large. You can't bring yourself to hate it. You thought it would be over. You thought you would be away from here and the people and the noises and the sight of brown clouds rising over green landscape.
You're still here though and you know it hasn't begun to get bad.
She hasn't come here yet. You know without a doubt that she will.
You think back on your life. Try to get to the surest point of origin. Where is the beginning? You think of your mother and your father and your younger brother.
Things that weren't real. Things you never had. People you never knew.
The earliest thing you remember is her.
You know that when the day comes and she enters your cage, you will be able to hate it.
-
There is the slightest hint of a smile on her face when you pull the trigger. She is brave though and you don't have the heart to make her suffer.
You are not what she is, in the end.
f-.