The Next Time 'Round
Title: The Next Time ‘Round, by kag523
Summary: Kara was convinced, for the first time, that Lee might not be crazy for insisting that he knew her from somewhere... because here he was again. And that made no sense unless you considered that things - life, destiny, kismet, whatever - might just be pushing them together. Maybe, as he kept insisting, she really did know him somehow. And not just from the last three strangely-opportune meetings over the last week, but from some other time altogether...
Characters: Kara, Lee, Sam
Pairings: Kara / Lee
Rating: M
Warnings: Mature language and situations
Beta Thanks: Thanks to sci_fi_shipper for her endless patience with my crazy Jack Kerouac ramblings, and with highlighting at least forty different times I’d uselessly... included... ellipses... You ROCK!
Title, Author and URL of original story: In Another Life, rayruz, http://community.livejournal.com/tulipfic/52453.html
Author Notes: Thanks to Ray for such an awesome story to begin with!
Part 1: Tuesday morning, August, 2010
Now we sink into a summer afternoon...
It was strangely calm morning when it happened.
The two of them were snorkelling off of the coast of Barbados, three days into their honeymoon. It was in one of the deep blue expanses of water, out beyond the encircling arms of the coral reef. Places where the larger sea animals roamed, and the dangers of the deep were present.
The dive had been arranged to let them, and a number of other tourists, see the fish, undisturbed and somnolent. Just after dawn, the small group of swimmers had been diving off the edge of the catamaran into the bright blue waters, Kara and Lee amongst them. And at first, everything had been fine.
Afterward, the skipper would explain that ocean currents sometimes switched due to hot and cold patches in the water; you couldn’t predict them. Weeks later, a close friend would tell Lee it was all part of the chaos of the cosmos - those things that couldn’t be forecast, but which could happen on the flip of a coin. That night, Kara’s older brother Sam (who had never had a hell of a lot of patience with Lee in the first place) would insist on it being ‘dumb luck’, and then refuse to talk about it at all. But Lee found the explanation of the air ambulance pilot just as likely. The leather-skinned man had simply said that the ocean got angry sometimes. And when it did, people drowned.
In the end, it didn’t matter what the reason had been... for just a few minutes, Kara had died.
~~~~~~~~~~~
Sam was at work when he got the call. He remembered afterward that even before he caught sight of the name ‘Adama’ on the caller ID, he simply knew.
“Hello?”
“God, Sam, that you?” Lee gasped, his words echoing with the relays of long distance connections.
There was something about the tone - the shaking quality of his voice - that had Sam’s heart tightening without explanation.
“Lee?”
“It’s Kara,” he gasped. “There was an accident. She’s in the hospital. She’s okay now, but she-” and then he coughed, though it sounded like a sob.
“She what? What happened!”
“She, she...” Lee stammered. Sam’s mind was going a thousand miles a second imagining the possibilities. “She drowned.”
Lee coughed again.
“Holy shit! What the hell were you two doing?”
Sam could hear him breathing hard into the phone and it struck Sam in an absent way, that Lee was trying to control himself. At another time (or with someone else) he might have cared, but not now and definitely not with Kara’s new husband.
The two men hadn’t ever been close, no matter how much she’d pushed the two of them together. Lee came from money; where Sam and Kara had always had to scrape by as they grew up. Lee had two degrees, whereas Sam was in the trades and Kara was in the Police force. There were lines that Sam felt people just had trouble crossing. And Lee Adama was way on the other side of several of them.
“I just... we...” Lee stumbled. “We were snorkelling and it all happened so fast. She was there in the water, and then she was just... gone.”
His words faded away nervously. Sam couldn’t explain it, but there had always just been something that irritated him about Lee. That Kara was head over heels in love with him hadn’t changed that face. Getting this news this morning, he was abruptly furious. His helplessness and terror funnelling down into an emotion he could focus in on someone; the anger directed at Lee.
“HOW?!” Sam barked.
“We were out past the reef,” he continued, his words coming out in bits and pieces, as if he couldn’t put the thoughts together clearly, “and there was a whirlpool. And she got pulled into it. She was gone, Sam. Gone for a couple minutes-”
“She died?!” Sam’s voice crackled loudly in his own ear. He could hear the blood rushing in his ears; his body thrumming with adrenaline-fuelled terror. ‘Kara died!’ his mind repeated. All of his worst fears from childhood were suddenly alive and real. He’d spent his whole life protecting her and now this?
“No,” Lee admitted, voice shaking, “she’s okay now. I went in. I got her out. Did CPR until the air ambulance arrived. Her heart stopped, Sam.” Lee took a shuddering breath. “The doctors say she’ll be okay...”
His tone was pleading, anguished. And Sam knew that accidents happened; they certainly did on job sites. But the fact that this was Kara - his little sister - who he’d spent his who life looking out for changed everything.
“But how the hell could you let her go in, Lee! Why weren’t you closer to her? Why weren’t you there to protect her?!”
And then he could hear Lee crying. This time there was no question about it, his words coming in ragged sobs.
“I’m so sorry, man. I’m just so, so sorry.”
And standing, helpless, over two thousand miles away, Sam’s anger began to smother out, replaced by soul-deep fear.
~~~~~~~~~~~
The two of them had been swimming together, a few lengths apart when the ocean had swirled. Around Kara’s legs, the previously still water had abruptly shifted direction, as if the whole fluid mass of it had suddenly come alive. She’d lifted her face from the water, spitting out the snorkel and pulling her mask to her forehead, shocked to see a whirlpool appearing in the previously calm surface. The brilliant hues of the early morning sunrise reflecting on the ripples made the curving shape twist into a red, blue and yellow pattern.
One so familiar that, for a second, she’d been totally absorbed into watching the slowly growing mandala.
And then suddenly, violently, the undertow had grabbed her legs and Kara had been pulled into the roiling mass, her body dragged under the surface, being tugged down into the dark depths beneath the squall. She’d swum hard, trying to get away - her mask and snorkel long lost - but the currents had been too strong. Impossibly so.
Fighting and thrashing - the pressure of the water a solid weight on her chest - she’d finally twisted and turned over, facing upward. The air was burning in her lungs by this point; threatening to release; the water above her a reverse image of the currents. ‘It’s a storm...’ she realized. And for half a second, she’d caught a glimpse of the distant surface so far away. Beyond the still churning whirlpool (‘...or are they clouds... ’ her mind asked) a single point of light could be seen. The murky lines of it slanted down through the water forming a ladder of sunshine, plunging down toward her. It was the sun... or perhaps a white light at the end of a tunnel... Kara no longer knew.
And then the light had winked out as something or someone had moved in front of it, blocking it out as they dove through the water toward her. ‘Lee’s coming for me...’ Kara realized. And in that moment, the swirl of water had inexplicably returned to a still, flat plane. The ocean currents reversing; tempest ending. Where there had, seconds earlier, been a churning whirlpool of water above her, there was now nothing but ripples. The surface spreading out like a sheet; vast and smooth. The underwater storm calming.
By that point, however, it didn’t matter. Kara’s lungs had given up the fight, releasing the last bit of air in her chest and dragging in the salty brine. Blotting out her vision with darkness.
~~~~~~~~~~~
Even now, hours later, Lee had flashes of those impossibly long moments on the hard deck of the boat, pumping grimly against her still chest to keep her heart going - feeling the awful give of her sternum and ribs as he’d forced her sluggish blood to keep moving. She was motionless and cold. Eyelids at half-mast. Lips blue.
“God-damnit, Kara! You come back! Come back!” he’d cried, before dropping his mouth against hers once more and filling her lungs with air. Breathing for her, then moving back to pumping against her chest. His years of lifeguarding had honed down into this single moment that seemed to drag on forever.
Refusing to let her die.
Lee’s arms, stiff and throbbing from exhaustion, had thrust again and again, and again, until time lost all meaning and all he could feel was the steady thud of fear in his chest. Adrenaline and terror mixing to bring his attention down to a single, knife-edged point pulsing in time to the motion of his arms.
‘Don’t die... don’t die... don’t die... don’t die…’
Around him he heard the drone of the boat’s engine. Heard the other people moving around. Someone offering to help, though he’d ignored their words.
“It’s not too late,” Lee had whispered to her, while his arms pumped again and again and the catamaran sped toward the island. “We can still pull out of this. We haven't gone past the point of no return.”
He’d no longer known who he was talking to... himself or to her.
Distantly Lee recalled having heard the air ambulance coming to meet them. The low-pitched chop of the blades reminding him, for a moment, of the sound of a jet breaking atmosphere. (Which made no sense at all, but then nothing did right now.) And then suddenly there had been uniformed women and men with silver paddles and a stretcher.
“Listen to me, Kara,” Lee had begged aloud as a man pushed him aside; forcing him out of the way so that other the medical personnel could take over. “Come back to me. Come back!”
And he’d watched, open-mouthed, while her swimsuit had been pulled down, the pads prepped, and then suddenly her body was arcing under the onslaught of electricity. The charge forcing her lost beat to return. Starting everything anew.
‘Don’t die... Don’t die...’
There had been a half-second of silence, and then suddenly the electronic beep of the machines announcing that Kara’s heart was now beating on its own. Someone had passed Lee a blanket then as the chopper lifted into the sky, and he’d realized he was still sitting in his swim-trunks, though they’d dried sometime along the way.
He’d held onto Kara’s hand through the flight. Forcing himself to watch her breathing. Standing watch over her life.
Things had calmed then. She’d come round just as the mainland appeared on the horizon, her voice raw and thick, calling out for him.
“You came for me,” she said, sounding surprised for some reason.
And with that, Lee had finally wept.
~~~~~~~~~~~
Kara lay floating in a cocoon of warmth, her body swaddled in a heavy layer of blankets; her left hand pressed tightly between Lee’s. He sat beside her hospital bed, sound asleep now, his head against the mattress of her bed, eyes closed. She blinked, slowly waking up, noting the dark smudges under the black wing of his lashes and the way his face was drawn anxiously, even in sleep.
For a long time, she simply watched him while he slept, his chest rising and falling slowly. She was so tired she could hardly move; just wanted to stay like this forever. Just the two of them.
‘He followed me in,’ her mind offered, ‘brought me back.’
It was a thought that had been circling for ages. It seemed particularly important for some reason. She just couldn’t figure out why.
After a time Kara stirred, reaching out her free hand toward him. She felt jittery now that it was all over. Like she’d been taken out of her body, shaken hard, then shoved back in. Right now, not everything ‘fit’ yet, but with every passing minute it improved. Her fingers brushed through Lee’s dark hair and he jumped at the contact, sitting up.
“You’re awake,” he mumbled, his voice thick with sleep.
“Mmm...” she answered, smiling tiredly. “You’re not.”
He lifted her hand up from the bed, pressing a hard kiss against her knuckles. For a long moment he didn’t move, just held her fingers there against his lips, almost painfully tight. And it wasn’t until the sound of his breathing intruded, that she knew something was wrong. He was breathing hard, almost as though he’d been running.
“You okay?” she asked, and his eyes jumped up to hers. They were fierce; almost angry.
“Don’t you ever fucking do something like that again.”
She laughed, but it was weak.
“Drown?” she snorted. “Promise I wasn’t trying, Lee...”
He shook his head, moving closer so that their faces were only a hand’s breadth apart. His free hand reached out, cupping her cheek.
“Don’t you dare die on me Kara. You just... you can’t leave me again.”
She wasn’t sure how she knew, but she was pretty sure he didn’t just mean today.
Kara smiled, trying to think of a joke to make light of this. Nothing came. ‘I almost died out there.’ The thought didn’t scare her so much as the thought of Lee trying to survive the loss on his own. Having to force himself onward day after day. The thought of what that would do to him was a hand pressing down on her chest, much the same as the water had been. Suddenly her own breath was coming in ragged gasps too. His grief drowning her alongside him.
“I’m fine,” she said weakly. “Totally fine.”
It worried her to see him like this. Scared.
“Yeah, but I’m not.” His voice broke as he said it, eyes pressing tightly closed as he did.
She was almost too tired to move, so instead she simply leaned toward him, moving forward so that their foreheads tipped together. The contact comforting her as much as it did him.
“I’ll always come back to you,” she whispered. “Promise.”
He tightened his grip on her hand and this time she did smile. Their white-gold bands clinked together as he lifted their single fist up between, kissing her knuckles one more time before he spoke.
“This time just... stay.”
Part 2: Thursday afternoon, June, 2009
Central Park in June
“This one?” Kara asked, turning toward Lee.
She stood before him, dressed only in her lace bra and panties, holding a thin black blouse up before her. Lee, laying across the bed in their room, glanced up, dropping the book he was reading down and smiling.
“Nice,” he said, nodding helpfully.
He’d said the same thing at least five times in the last twenty minutes and it was starting to eat away at her last nerve. ‘Nice doesn’t cut it...’ she thought in frustration. Behind her she could hear the buzz of late-afternoon traffic outside the window pouring from the street below, reminding her that they needed to get going. Taking the train this time of day was a bitch in the city and though they had plenty of time before they left; she was already dreading it. The group of them were meeting in the park first and going from there.
“Fuck,” she muttered, throwing it down to the wood floor.
She could hear Lee chuckling quietly behind his book, but she didn’t turn back around. There had to be something to wear here! Something that would say all the things she wanted to say to these people - his family - without looking like she was trying too hard.
She pulled a blue t-shirt down and stared at it for a moment. ‘Too casual.’ It dropped to the floor. Next came out a structured, buttoned-down office number. ‘Too stiff.’ It went to the floor too. Then a graphic-print sundress. ‘Too loud.’ This time she wadded it up and tossed it angrily into the corner. She had just reached back into the closet again when Lee’s words interrupted her.
“You’re not actually nervous, are you?”
Kara snorted, glancing over at him. The book was now laid, face down, on the bed, and Lee was watching her with an expression caught somewhere between concern and amusement.
“I think there’s some unspoken rule of the universe,” Kara muttered, “that you will inevitably do something stupid the first time you meet your boyfriend’s parents.”
Lee laughed loudly this time and she turned toward him, hands rising to her hips in annoyance. She knew this was true because she’d lived it before.
“Yes,” she snapped, “I’m fucking terrified.”
He stopped laughing then, sitting up on the edge of the mattress and reaching out for her arm, pulling her stiff-legged toward the bed. She scowled at him. It was easier if she stuck to being annoyed.
“You’re being insane,” he said quietly, tipping his head to the side and giving her that wide smile that left her melting. “No...” he said, correcting himself. “No you’re beyond insane.”
“Yes,” she argued.
He had her standing before him now and he let go of her arm to reach down, putting his hands on either side of her waist, holding her still. His fingers were warm against her skin and Kara couldn’t help but notice how his eyes dropped down to trace the shape of her body while he held her steady.
“They’re going to love you,” he said, voice husky, leaning forward and laying a single kiss against the smooth skin just above her navel, then looking up and catching her gaze. “Just like I do.”
She rolled her eyes, trying to tug away, but his hands tightened, holding her still.
“You mean the same way Sam adores you?” she snipped, arms crossing in front of her, awaiting his reaction. The first ‘meet the family’ a few months back hadn’t gone well.
“That’s different,” Lee answered carefully - using that tone she thought of as his ‘lawyer voice’ - his hands against her waist tightening for a moment, then softening. “Sam and I just...”
He left the sentence unfinished and Kara chortled, eyes narrowing in victory. This was the reason, right here.
“I remember you being pretty nervous the first time you met him,” she said, reaching forward and running her hand over the top of his head, mussing his hair. “And that was just drinks, Lee. Not a formal thing like this.”
“That was different,” he said ruefully. “Your brother is six and half feet tall, and he didn’t like any of your boyfriends. Least of all me.”
He chuckled at the memory and Kara smirked. It had almost come to blows that first night.
“Mm-hmm...” Kara answered, raising en eyebrow. “See?”
Lee shook his head in denial.
“No. That was a test, ” he said, nodding. “This, on the other hand, is just dinner and a show.”
She sighed heavily, shoulders slumping in defeat.
“No, see, that’s where you’re wrong,” she answered tiredly. The old argument rising once again. “You’re this golden child... You’re from Westchester. You went to NYU and Harvard Law...”
Lee was smiling up at her as she spoke, and she turned to look out the window, trying to get through the litany of reasons ‘why’ before he distracted her. He pulled her closer so that she now stood between his knees at the edge of the bed, his breath soft against the skin of her stomach.
“...You grew up in this cultured family where going to Broadway was just something you did,” Kara continued.
As she spoke, his thumbs were brushing slowly over the smooth skin of her abdomen, making circles. Kara closed her eyes, trying to catch onto that ribbon of worry that - at this moment at least - seemed to be slipping further and further away.
“And me? The only thing I’ve seen on Broadway is the Naked Cowboy playing his guitar....”
“Uh-huh,” Lee murmured, pulling her closer, his hands sliding up her ribs so that they brushed the underside of her breasts.
“...I’m the fucked up foster kid who spent her life being bounced around from family to family and didn’t go to college...”
“Mm-hmmm...” Lee’s hands were under the edge of the bra now, nudging the lace away and letting his thumbs trace over her nipples.
“...and can’t get promoted past Sergeant,” Kara said, letting her eyes close and leaning into to the motion of his hands... ‘oh my god, his hands!’
“Terrible,” he whispered, leaning in to pull one rose-coloured peak into his mouth, leaving her panting for a second before she continued.
“...and who doesn’t know what you’re actually supposed to wear...” Kara gasped, her hands sliding into his hair, holding him still until he switched sides, “...to go to Sardi’s.”
She let out a low moan and Lee pulled back, grinning widely.
“Why do I put up with you?” he asked.
And then, before she could punch him, he pulled her down on top of him onto the bed full of discarded clothing. The two of them tangling together, remembering all of the reasons ‘why they worked’ in the motion of flesh and limbs. The worries of the day forgotten.
Part 3: Sunday morning, November, 2008
Marvelling at the bounty our days contain
He felt her absence from his side even before he awoke. An ache of loss for something tugging at his senses, pulling him out of sleep. Somewhere in the distant living room (where the first of their clothes had been shed last night in a heated rush of lips and hands) the tell-tale squeak on the hundred year old wood floor gave Kara away and Lee heard her make a sound like a cat’s hiss.
Half-awake, he blinked, finally catching sight of her through the half-open door. In the watery light of early morning, he could see her shift herself sideways, avoiding that section of flooring, and then begin picking up the rested of her discarded clothing. He closed his eyes again as Kara turned back around, searching for something with her lower lip caught between her teeth.
‘Leaving before I wake up...’ his mind announced in a wave of disappointment.
Being that this was the very first time they’d slept together, Lee was caught in a precarious position. They weren’t together, so to speak, so there were no boundaries with them yet. They’d never been established.
She could leave if she wanted.
Lying here now, listening to her sneak out of the apartment, Lee felt the gnawing frustration of having played his hand wrong. ‘Should have waited,’ the voice inside him chided. But Kara Thrace hadn’t seemed like the kind of woman who wanted to play games. Only now he was left feeling the unpleasant tug of regret. He liked her - more than that, actually - and she was making her feelings for him abundantly clear this morning.
There was another squeak - the doorway leading into the hall this time - and then the soft clod of her shoes being slipped on. Frowning, Lee pulled the sheets back over his shoulder. In the background, he could hear the jingle of keys in Kara’s pocket as she pulled on her coat. For a moment, a memory from yesterday intruded. They’d met by the statue of Balto at 2:30, as promised...
“Well now, this is a coincidence,” he said, grinning.
“There’s no such thing,” she taunted, her voice full of so much conviction he was taken aback. And yet it was her saying it, and that somehow made sense. They kept meeting after all.
“No such thing as coincidence?”
“If there’s one thing I’ve figured out,” she answered, “it’s that everything happens for a reason. The other night at the bar I felt like we were picking up where we left off or something.”
In the distant hallway, there was the sound of a zipper, as Kara getting ready to head out into the cold. It had been snowing as they came back to the apartment last night. Listening to her now as she prepared to leave, Lee wondered what had changed in the last few hours. There’d been so much promise there yesterday in the park, and then at dinner hours afterward when he’d been unable to keep his eyes off of her... and then later yet, when both of them had moved from looks, to touches, to all out fumbling for each other in a matter of minutes. Ending up here at his apartment for one more drink, one more story... and then everything else.
For a moment his mind was awash with memories of her moving overtop him. Head tipped back in ecstasy. The moans low in her throat.
Somewhere at the end of the hallway, he heard the squeak of the door opening slowly and then latch on the front door snap closed. Lee sighed, letting out a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding.
Kara was gone.
With that realization dragging his thoughts down, Lee finally let his body relax. In minutes he was in a restless slumber, dreaming of a cold early dawn some other time. Awakening alone on a bed of sand and discarded clothing...
A short time later, he woke up, jerking in surprise, as something, or someone, shifted into bed beside him. Squinting into the now-bright bedroom, he was surprised to see Kara easing herself back in next to him.
“Hey - you’re back,” he mumbled tiredly.
“Went out to grab us some bagels for later,” she said lightly. “You’ve got crap all in the fridge. Doesn’t a guy like you eat sometimes?”
She slid under the covers as she spoke, pulling herself into the nest of warmth around him, then abruptly placing her ice-cold feet against his legs.
“Shit!” Lee shouted, suddenly awake.
She rolled toward him, giggling, putting her face against his shoulder.
“Sorry,” she muttered, wheedling her icy fingers around him at the same time, chilling him. “Was cold outside and you’re warm.”
He smiled, feeling her lips and then her teeth brush the side of his neck, then move upward, finally reaching his mouth. And then she was kissing him, his body suddenly alive and aware. She was here! His hands ran across her body, pulling her close as he leaned in, settling himself over top of her, and pushing her clothing out of the way. Her tangled panties and pants kicked off impatiently as his hands roved lower, teasing her slowly.
She moaned, her fingers tightening against his shoulders, pulling him nearer and Lee’s mouth slanted hard against hers; tongues and teeth duelling for a moment while he nudged her thighs apart. He could feel her shiver at his touch, her whole body sending out a frisson of energy that seemed to spread from her to him.
It felt... right.
“Warmer now?” he asked, sliding into her.
“Getting there...” she moaned.
Part 4: Friday night, November, 2008
And we feel it like the shiver of a passing train
Seeing him walking into the nightclub, Kara had two immediate reactions.
First, she was completely furious, ready to arrest him for pissing her off again. The term stalker came to mind. Second, she was convinced, for the first time, that he might not be crazy for insisting that he knew her from somewhere... because here he was again. And that made no fucking sense unless you considered that things - life, destiny, kismet, whatever - might just be pushing them together. Maybe, as he kept insisting, she really did know him somehow. And not just from the last three strangely-opportune meetings over the last week, but from some other time altogether.
Leaving her friends behind at the table, she headed through the crowded club toward him, stepping up next to him and giving him a once over. Sharon was right, he did look better when he wasn’t in a suit. He hadn’t seen her yet, so she stepped closer - too close really - wearing a smile that bordered on insolent.
“Hey,” she snapped, raising an eyebrow. “What the hell are you doing here?”
Lee seemed to see her for the first time then, his mouth opening in surprise and then closing once more. The shock on his face slowly replaced with concern.
“I’m just getting a drink,” he muttered, then stepped back slightly. “You’re not going to spill this on me too, are you?”
She rolled her eyes, hands automatically tightening into fists. She wasn’t sure exactly what it was, but this guy seemed to know how to push her buttons, and not all of them were good.
“You need to stop following me, buddy,” she growled, stepping forward and noting how he didn’t step back this time, just stared down at her, perplexed. “Because I’m getting sick of this crap, I don’t know what the hell your deal is but-“
“Look,” he said, interrupting her flow of words, “I just came here for a drink with my friend...”
He turned, gesturing back to where a group of guys - ‘Suits from uptown,’ Kara thought in irritation - were sitting at a table. A dark haired one raised a hand, waving back. Kara scowled, stepping closer still - inappropriately so - and dropping her voice.
“Then why the hell do you just keep… popping up in my life?”
He sighed heavily, glancing around as if looking for something or someone. After a half second, he looked back at her, gesturing for her to follow him away from the throng of people to the side where the bar was less crowded. He turned and began walking away. For a few seconds, Kara considered just going the other direction, heading back over to Sharon and Karl and the others, but she was tired of this thing - whatever it was - that didn’t seem to want to end. Straightening her shoulders, she followed. She wanted an answer, damnit.
“Listening,” she muttered, crossing her arms in front of her.
“Okay, first I was in Central Park,” he said, a line of concern appearing between his eyebrows. “Because it was a nice day and I was walking through...”
‘He has nice blue eyes,’ Kara thought absently.
“... and I saw you and got the feeling I knew you from somewhere. I guess I didn’t...”
He shrugged, drawing her attention to the breadth of his shoulders. ‘Works out...’ she thought.
“No harm, no foul,” Lee added.
“So what about at the bagel shop?” she asked, eyes narrowed.
“I ran into you twice in the same week,” he grumbled, annoyance starting to thread through his words, “I thought it was a funny coincidence.”
She stepped closer and this time he frowned in response, a muscle in his cheek starting to jump in annoyance.
“And you actually just bumped into me at the coffee place?” Kara asked doubtfully.
“I tripped.”
The words were sharp edged. ‘Has a temper too...’
“And now you’re here...” she said, glancing around at the teeming bar. She could just barely see Karl’s face over the heads of the crowd. He was standing up at the booth now. Watching them talking. He grinned as he caught Kara’s eye.
“Getting a drink with my friend,” Lee muttered, “just like you are, I assume.”
She looked back at him, catching him watching her, concern making his face seem more worn, for a moment, than it had been before. She’d almost say she recognized the look. Had seen that before on him. Though of course she absolutely hadn’t.
There was a slightly too-long pause that dragged out between them, and then Kara suddenly spoke. She felt things alter somehow as she did. Shifting somehow... Becoming more solid.
“You actually believe this is all just coincidence, don’t you?”
He smiled at her words. ‘Amazing smile...’ she thought, chagrined. She had a thing for a great smile. Always had.
“Something like that,” he replied, offering his hand. “Lee Adama, by the way.”
The name was familiar. Reaching out her own hand, their palms met, and if she’d had any doubt in her mind that she was meant to meet him - had always been meant to meet him - then that gesture changed it all. It was like a spark, or a flare of reaction from their bare hands, and the handshake - like the look that had passed between them moments earlier - lingered on just slightly too long.
“Kara Thrace,” she answered, noting the way his eyes flared as she said it, as if the name meant something more to him too.
Hours later, they stumbled out into the rain-dampened streets. They were laughing raucously (though what exactly about she couldn’t remember anymore.) The only thing she knew for sure was that Lee was here with her and that he fit with her friends somehow. Up ahead near the alley, Karl was trying to wave down a cab, but was having no luck. Lee was standing beside her, waiting, it seemed, for something else. She caught his eye for the hundredth time that night and he smiled, stepping closer, his eyes pinning her down.
He seemed ready to say something, but Kara beat him to it. There was a flare of nervousness rising inside her, growing with the tightening connection. The intensity of it all worried her.
“I’ve uh... got to go,” she said lightly. “It was good to actually meet you this time.”
She grinned, feeling the heady rush of alcohol buzzing under her skin. Or maybe it was just Lee. Having him standing next to her was making her feel more alive than ever. He stepped closer still, his face growing serious. There was a gravity to the expression that she felt she should recognise.
From before.
“Can I take you home?” he asked quietly.
She snorted.
“Um, I live with my brother Sam. Not sure that’d go over well.”
He reached out, running a finger along the edge of her arm, leaving her skin pebbled with gooseflesh. It was barely a touch, but it was enough. A shiver ran the length of her spine.
“You want to head back to my place?”
Kara grinned, glancing over to the alley where Karl and Sharon were waiting. Chuckling and peaking over at her. There was money changing hands right now, she could sense it. The two of them were notorious for betting on everything. This would be no different.
“Not tonight,” Kara answered, turning back to look at him. There was challenge in her eyes.
He leaned in toward her, mouth brushing her ear. Closer than he had to be.
“Some night though.”
Kara took a single step back away from him and winked, without answering. ‘Can’t think when he’s that close,’ her mind warned. She turned, aiming to head back to Karl and Sharon, when Lee suddenly reached out, grabbing her hand. She glanced back at him, frowning. That snap of connection was stronger than it had been the first time he’d touched her. For half a second, she considered breaking her own rule and heading back home with him.
”In case you’re planning on not running into me on Saturday,” he said, smiling slowly. “Don’t be by the Balto statue at two.”
“Well, I give you credit,” Kara said with a chuckle, “I have not heard that one before...”
She smirked, pulling her hand out of his and moving away. Letting the distance stretch out into one step and then two, until they were finally apart. Up at the end of the alley, a cab had pulled over and Karl turned back around, calling for her to hurry up. Sharon still giggling.
“Tell you what,” Kara said, laughing, “I’ll avoid you at two thirty... I sleep in late on Saturdays.”
She turned, but his words followed her up the street, echoing across the sidewalk.
“All right. So I won’t see you then.”
She glanced back toward him as she climbed into the cab. Lee was still waiting.
Part 5: One week in November, 2008
That other life, deep underground
The first time he saw her was in Central Park near the rock-perched statue of Balto. It was a nice day for November, and he’d decided to cut across the park, rather than walking around the other way. Coming in through the sixty-seventh street access to shave off a few minutes of his commute; or at least that had been his thought.
One second he’d been heading through the crowd, mind already on the litigation meeting he had a few minutes from now, and the next he was totally absorbed in a blonde woman who was laughing loudly, walking toward him. She was next to a very tall guy, who had his arms crossed on his chest grinning down at her. The two of them absorbed in some private joke.
Lee stopped walking and simply stared for a few seconds, watching her and trying to place how he knew her. Because it wasn’t even a question. He knew he did. He just couldn’t figure out from where.
Medium height, blonde hair that flipped back from her face in a shaggy bob, full, kissable lips, eyes that were green or gold - Lee couldn’t tell from this distance - and the most amazing muscular body that made him ache to touch her. A body made for all the best things in life, he realized with a jolt. He should remember her, but he couldn’t. Almost without intending to, his feet were taking him up toward her. The tall guy glanced over at him, nostrils flaring in annoyance at the interruption.
“...and I said that we should just book the guy because he clearly had been part of the deal even if he hadn’t...”
Her words petered out and then disappeared as she caught her friend’s scowl. She turned toward Lee, annoyance flashing across her face. Again, that feeling of ‘before’ sucker punched him, making the light today seem slightly brighter for some reason. ‘Definitely have met her before...’ his mind repeated. His heart was thudding painfully hard in his chest.
“You want something, buddy,” she snapped, interrupting his thoughts. “Or you just here to stare?”
It was then that Lee had noticed the uniforms. The two were police officers and neither one seemed particularly happy with him. He glanced over at the tall guy, then stepped closer to the woman, his hand reaching out toward her, apparently of its own volition. He pushed his fist into his pocket, tightening it around the change inside, holding tight.
For the first time he knew what Dee meant when she’d broken up with him: that the right person was out there. He just had to find her.
Lee just had.
“I uh...” he stammered, trying to pull his thoughts into order. “Do I know you?”
“What?” She was staring at him with annoyance. Her hand, he noticed absently, resting on the top of her club. Her partner had widened his stance, lips pressed into a grim line.
“I just think we’ve met before,” Lee added. “Have we?”
She smirked, her eyes sliding over to her partner and then back to Lee again. Appraising.
“Not in this lifetime, buddy,” she drawled, and then she turned and the two of them walked away.
~~~~~~~~~~~
The second time was in the bagel shop. He’d been standing at the counter, waiting to be served, and as he turned around to leave, she was there. They’d both stared at one another for half a second too long, and then the woman behind the counter was shouting for the “next customer” and the woman - whoever she was - was stepping past him.
Lee stepped out of line, turning back to catch her eye, but she didn’t turn around.
~~~~~~~~~~~
The third time was in Starbucks. This time he was coming out of the store, venti half-fat latte in hand, and she was coming in and the two of them collided in the doorway. Lee tripped, hitting her hard with his shoulder.
“For Christ’s sake!” she snapped, jumping back out of the way of the sloshing coffee that had poured over her arm and was now dripping to the floor.
“God, I’m so sorry,” Lee muttered, stepping out of the way of the swinging door; putting them both on the same side. “It was an accident. I didn’t realize you were coming in. I never meant...”
He lifted his eyes, catching sight of her for the first time. ‘Her again...’ His words trailed off at the same time she caught sight of him. He was shocked to see her here - yet again - for the third time in a week. It made no sense at all. Greater New York was a city of twenty million people after all. She, however, didn’t seem to find the coincidence as amazing as he did.
“Oh you have got to be fucking kidding me!” she barked, stepping forward and shoving him hard so that his coffee tipped back sloshing over his arm and the front of his suit. “I don’t know what the hell you’re doing, asshole, but you had better stop following me!”
And then she was storming away, leaving Lee staring after her, wondering why this all felt so goddamn familiar. And why he wasn’t even angry about the suit he was wearing which would need to be dry cleaned. And why it didn’t bother him that he was going to have to go home to change, and that would make him late for his afternoon meeting.
‘That’s just how she is,’ his mind offered sagely.
He didn’t know quite what to make of the thought.
Part 7: Before
You and I / Side by side
In another time, in another place, the two of them sat side by side under the wing of her viper, the busyness of the hanger deck forgotten for a moment.
“Feeling sorry for me?” she asked.
Lee glanced over at her, smiling, but his eyes were sad. It hurt her to see him like this... but there was too much left between them for them not to be. Too much history now. It wasn’t ever going to be easy no matter what. There were no do-overs. No takebacks.
She just couldn’t help herself from wishing that there were.
“Kara, everyone gets rattled, he answered, “even the best.”
She smiled at that: his choice of wording. She knew that at another time she would have come back with a quip about her being the best and him finally admitting it, and they would’ve laughed and teased or maybe fought. ‘We were always good at that too.’
But not today.
“I'm not going back out there,” she said calmly, “I don't trust myself.”
There it was. The unspoken thing hanging in the air between them. Her darkest fear.
She stared forward, wondering what he was going to say next. Because even though she knew Lee Adama better than anyone else in the entire Fleet - better than her husband even - there were times he still surprised her. Challenged her. She both loved and hated it. And somehow this moment, just the two of them side by side, made all the terror of her dreams and the vision of the dead child who was herself in the cockpit, fade away slightly. Lee was here, and that made things feel more settled than they’d been in a long, long time.
Beside her, he made a noise in his throat, as if trying to choose his words, and then he finally spoke.
“So trust me,” he answered quietly. “I'll fly your wing.”
Her heart tightened at the thought of the two of them out flying again. There’d been a song that had been popular on the radio back when the two of them had been in the Academy together (though they hadn’t known each other then), and for some reason, a stanza of it now came to mind. ‘You and I, side by side, we are the next time ‘round...’
It seemed fitting somehow.
“The CAG flying my number two?”
He smiled patiently and the sight of it made her throat tighten. This felt like goodbye.
“Whatever it takes.”
He turned toward as he spoke, his blue eyes full of broken promises and things that she’d never been able to fully explain. So much of it was pain. She swallowed hard, trying to keep her voice light. Knowing somehow that his next answer would decide for her.
It would be the sign she was waiting for.
“How are things with you and Dee?”
There was the slightest stumble as he began.
“Uh, you know, good,” he said, then frowned. His words starting up again. “No, better than good... Best they've ever been.”
Kara smiled, swallowing the lump of pain in her throat. Forcing it down and away.
And there it was... The thing she had been waiting to hear.
“I'm happy for you. Really,” she said nodding. “It's funny though, after all we've been through, we are right back where we started. You're a CAG, and I am your hotshot problem pilot. I guess that's all we'll ever be now, huh?”
And for a few seconds longer, it was just Lee and her together, sitting side by side.
The way it was supposed to be.
Part 6: Wednesday night, August, 2010
We are the next time 'round
Sam showed up at the hospital just before the end of visiting hours. He’d been on a complicated mesh of last-minutes flights lasting the last day and a half to get here; heart in throat. Lee’s words echoing through his mind without cease.
“...she was gone for a couple minutes... did CPR until the air ambulance arrived... Her heart stopped, Sam... I’m so sorry...”
When he had first heard the news, Sam had yelled at Lee. He was starting to feel bad for that now. Another part of him didn’t care. He’d lived for so many years watching out for Kara - especially after things got really bad at home and the two of them were pushed into foster care - that hearing he’d nearly lost her had pushed him to lose his usually even temper. Even now he felt raw inside. ‘I can’t lose her...’ his mind argued.
But there was something else to what Lee had said. Something Sam couldn’t even explain to himself. Almost like the words meant more than just this, but what it was eluded him. He only knew he needed to make sure Kara was okay. That was what he always did. She was his family, after all. They only had each other.
The two of them against the rest of the world.
Heading down the corridor toward the nurses’ station tonight, his own words returned. “Why weren’t you closer to her? Why weren’t you there to protect her?!” A tide of guilt rising along with them, because the words could, just as easily, have been for himself. Sam scowled, walking faster, his footsteps loud on the tiled floor.
‘You weren’t there...’ his mind taunted, ‘and he was...’
Lee had gone down into the water, had pulled Kara out and saved her. Without him, she’d be gone. Something near to shame was now clawing at the inside of Sam’s chest, leaving him feeling cracked and damaged, but he shoved the emotion away. He needed to know Kara was okay. See her himself.
Reaching the nursing station, a middle aged woman at the desk stepped in front of him, stopping him, hands on hips.
“Visiting hours are almost over,” she growled. “Come back tomorrow.”
Sam might be a foot taller than her, but he had no doubt he wouldn’t get past without her say so.
“My sister is Kara Thrace... or maybe she’s under Adama now. Don’t know. I’m her brother, Sam. I have to see her.”
The woman’s face changed, softening somehow and she reached over, pulling out a chart. He had time to notice that the woman’s name tag ‘Dr. Lynn Saunders’. She was the one who Lee had mentioned on the phone.
“Okay, Sam, yes. Lee mentioned you’d be coming,” she muttered, flipping through the chart. “Kara’s in room four twenty-six, but she might be sleeping now. She’s been through a lot. They both have.”
Sam swallowed hard, trying to think of what to ask. How to put all of his fears into simple words.
“But is Kara going to be okay?”
The woman smiled; her face transforming into a motherly look of comfort.
“She’s already made a lot of progress, and she’ll be released in a couple of days. But you should know that she’s been through quite a trauma. Things were,” she paused, frowning, “touch and go for a while.”
“Lucky she survived,” Sam muttered, his throat throbbing painfully.
The woman laughed.
“No, not luck at all,” she answered. “That’s thanks to her husband.” She paused, her eyebrows pulling together for a moment as if concerned, then relaxing. “Lee kept her going until the EMTs could defibrillate her heart. If he hadn’t done that, well,” she shook her head sadly, “it would have been far too late by the time the air ambulance arrived.”
Sam could feel tears prickling at his lower lids. It felt like the room was spinning; too much changing at once. Again, the guilt rose, but this time it was tearing through the walls of his chest, pushing them away.
“I uh, I didn’t know,” he stammered. “How did he...?”
She gave him a sympathetic pat on the arm.
“He just kept doing CPR until they arrived. It was twenty minutes, but he just wouldn’t stop. Wouldn’t let her die.”
Sam didn’t answer - couldn’t answer, not yet - and so she turned, gesturing him to follow her down the hallway. Finally reaching the door to Kara’s hospital room, she pushed it aside, then stepped back.
“Go on in,” she said quietly, “I’m sure they both want to see you.”
Sam waited for a few seconds, forcing himself to take several deep breaths before finally stepping into the dimly lit interior of the room. He wasn’t sure how bad things would be, and he hadn’t talked to Lee since yesterday.
Two steps inside he got his answer.
The two of them were curled together on the narrow bed, Lee’s body wrapped protectively around Kara’s. His legs tucked behind her in an echo of her posture, while his arms curled around her chest, holding their combined hands fisted together on the bed. They were sound asleep, Lee’s lips pressed against the back of her neck. Seeing them together, side by side, Sam smiled, feeling himself relax for the first time since the phone call.
He just... knew.
The two of them - both he and Lee - were here with Kara and that meant things were finally going to be okay. He stepped toward the bed, his hand reaching out to brush over his sister’s hair. Hearing the sound of his shoe scuffling along the floor, Lee jumped at the sound, eyes opening. They were red-rimmed and tired, and again the guilt rose in Sam. For a second neither spoke.
“Thanks, Lee,” Sam finally said, his voice rough. “For... everything.”
Lee didn’t answer, just nodded, then closed his eyes. After a minute, he was back asleep. And this time it was Sam who pulled up a chair and waited, his eyes on the rise and fall of Kara’s breathing as he waited out the night.
Summary: Kara was convinced, for the first time, that Lee might not be crazy for insisting that he knew her from somewhere... because here he was again. And that made no sense unless you considered that things - life, destiny, kismet, whatever - might just be pushing them together. Maybe, as he kept insisting, she really did know him somehow. And not just from the last three strangely-opportune meetings over the last week, but from some other time altogether...
Characters: Kara, Lee, Sam
Pairings: Kara / Lee
Rating: M
Warnings: Mature language and situations
Beta Thanks: Thanks to sci_fi_shipper for her endless patience with my crazy Jack Kerouac ramblings, and with highlighting at least forty different times I’d uselessly... included... ellipses... You ROCK!
Title, Author and URL of original story: In Another Life, rayruz, http://community.livejournal.com/tulipfic/52453.html
Author Notes: Thanks to Ray for such an awesome story to begin with!
Part 1: Tuesday morning, August, 2010
Now we sink into a summer afternoon...
It was strangely calm morning when it happened.
The two of them were snorkelling off of the coast of Barbados, three days into their honeymoon. It was in one of the deep blue expanses of water, out beyond the encircling arms of the coral reef. Places where the larger sea animals roamed, and the dangers of the deep were present.
The dive had been arranged to let them, and a number of other tourists, see the fish, undisturbed and somnolent. Just after dawn, the small group of swimmers had been diving off the edge of the catamaran into the bright blue waters, Kara and Lee amongst them. And at first, everything had been fine.
Afterward, the skipper would explain that ocean currents sometimes switched due to hot and cold patches in the water; you couldn’t predict them. Weeks later, a close friend would tell Lee it was all part of the chaos of the cosmos - those things that couldn’t be forecast, but which could happen on the flip of a coin. That night, Kara’s older brother Sam (who had never had a hell of a lot of patience with Lee in the first place) would insist on it being ‘dumb luck’, and then refuse to talk about it at all. But Lee found the explanation of the air ambulance pilot just as likely. The leather-skinned man had simply said that the ocean got angry sometimes. And when it did, people drowned.
In the end, it didn’t matter what the reason had been... for just a few minutes, Kara had died.
~~~~~~~~~~~
Sam was at work when he got the call. He remembered afterward that even before he caught sight of the name ‘Adama’ on the caller ID, he simply knew.
“Hello?”
“God, Sam, that you?” Lee gasped, his words echoing with the relays of long distance connections.
There was something about the tone - the shaking quality of his voice - that had Sam’s heart tightening without explanation.
“Lee?”
“It’s Kara,” he gasped. “There was an accident. She’s in the hospital. She’s okay now, but she-” and then he coughed, though it sounded like a sob.
“She what? What happened!”
“She, she...” Lee stammered. Sam’s mind was going a thousand miles a second imagining the possibilities. “She drowned.”
Lee coughed again.
“Holy shit! What the hell were you two doing?”
Sam could hear him breathing hard into the phone and it struck Sam in an absent way, that Lee was trying to control himself. At another time (or with someone else) he might have cared, but not now and definitely not with Kara’s new husband.
The two men hadn’t ever been close, no matter how much she’d pushed the two of them together. Lee came from money; where Sam and Kara had always had to scrape by as they grew up. Lee had two degrees, whereas Sam was in the trades and Kara was in the Police force. There were lines that Sam felt people just had trouble crossing. And Lee Adama was way on the other side of several of them.
“I just... we...” Lee stumbled. “We were snorkelling and it all happened so fast. She was there in the water, and then she was just... gone.”
His words faded away nervously. Sam couldn’t explain it, but there had always just been something that irritated him about Lee. That Kara was head over heels in love with him hadn’t changed that face. Getting this news this morning, he was abruptly furious. His helplessness and terror funnelling down into an emotion he could focus in on someone; the anger directed at Lee.
“HOW?!” Sam barked.
“We were out past the reef,” he continued, his words coming out in bits and pieces, as if he couldn’t put the thoughts together clearly, “and there was a whirlpool. And she got pulled into it. She was gone, Sam. Gone for a couple minutes-”
“She died?!” Sam’s voice crackled loudly in his own ear. He could hear the blood rushing in his ears; his body thrumming with adrenaline-fuelled terror. ‘Kara died!’ his mind repeated. All of his worst fears from childhood were suddenly alive and real. He’d spent his whole life protecting her and now this?
“No,” Lee admitted, voice shaking, “she’s okay now. I went in. I got her out. Did CPR until the air ambulance arrived. Her heart stopped, Sam.” Lee took a shuddering breath. “The doctors say she’ll be okay...”
His tone was pleading, anguished. And Sam knew that accidents happened; they certainly did on job sites. But the fact that this was Kara - his little sister - who he’d spent his who life looking out for changed everything.
“But how the hell could you let her go in, Lee! Why weren’t you closer to her? Why weren’t you there to protect her?!”
And then he could hear Lee crying. This time there was no question about it, his words coming in ragged sobs.
“I’m so sorry, man. I’m just so, so sorry.”
And standing, helpless, over two thousand miles away, Sam’s anger began to smother out, replaced by soul-deep fear.
~~~~~~~~~~~
The two of them had been swimming together, a few lengths apart when the ocean had swirled. Around Kara’s legs, the previously still water had abruptly shifted direction, as if the whole fluid mass of it had suddenly come alive. She’d lifted her face from the water, spitting out the snorkel and pulling her mask to her forehead, shocked to see a whirlpool appearing in the previously calm surface. The brilliant hues of the early morning sunrise reflecting on the ripples made the curving shape twist into a red, blue and yellow pattern.
One so familiar that, for a second, she’d been totally absorbed into watching the slowly growing mandala.
And then suddenly, violently, the undertow had grabbed her legs and Kara had been pulled into the roiling mass, her body dragged under the surface, being tugged down into the dark depths beneath the squall. She’d swum hard, trying to get away - her mask and snorkel long lost - but the currents had been too strong. Impossibly so.
Fighting and thrashing - the pressure of the water a solid weight on her chest - she’d finally twisted and turned over, facing upward. The air was burning in her lungs by this point; threatening to release; the water above her a reverse image of the currents. ‘It’s a storm...’ she realized. And for half a second, she’d caught a glimpse of the distant surface so far away. Beyond the still churning whirlpool (‘...or are they clouds... ’ her mind asked) a single point of light could be seen. The murky lines of it slanted down through the water forming a ladder of sunshine, plunging down toward her. It was the sun... or perhaps a white light at the end of a tunnel... Kara no longer knew.
And then the light had winked out as something or someone had moved in front of it, blocking it out as they dove through the water toward her. ‘Lee’s coming for me...’ Kara realized. And in that moment, the swirl of water had inexplicably returned to a still, flat plane. The ocean currents reversing; tempest ending. Where there had, seconds earlier, been a churning whirlpool of water above her, there was now nothing but ripples. The surface spreading out like a sheet; vast and smooth. The underwater storm calming.
By that point, however, it didn’t matter. Kara’s lungs had given up the fight, releasing the last bit of air in her chest and dragging in the salty brine. Blotting out her vision with darkness.
~~~~~~~~~~~
Even now, hours later, Lee had flashes of those impossibly long moments on the hard deck of the boat, pumping grimly against her still chest to keep her heart going - feeling the awful give of her sternum and ribs as he’d forced her sluggish blood to keep moving. She was motionless and cold. Eyelids at half-mast. Lips blue.
“God-damnit, Kara! You come back! Come back!” he’d cried, before dropping his mouth against hers once more and filling her lungs with air. Breathing for her, then moving back to pumping against her chest. His years of lifeguarding had honed down into this single moment that seemed to drag on forever.
Refusing to let her die.
Lee’s arms, stiff and throbbing from exhaustion, had thrust again and again, and again, until time lost all meaning and all he could feel was the steady thud of fear in his chest. Adrenaline and terror mixing to bring his attention down to a single, knife-edged point pulsing in time to the motion of his arms.
‘Don’t die... don’t die... don’t die... don’t die…’
Around him he heard the drone of the boat’s engine. Heard the other people moving around. Someone offering to help, though he’d ignored their words.
“It’s not too late,” Lee had whispered to her, while his arms pumped again and again and the catamaran sped toward the island. “We can still pull out of this. We haven't gone past the point of no return.”
He’d no longer known who he was talking to... himself or to her.
Distantly Lee recalled having heard the air ambulance coming to meet them. The low-pitched chop of the blades reminding him, for a moment, of the sound of a jet breaking atmosphere. (Which made no sense at all, but then nothing did right now.) And then suddenly there had been uniformed women and men with silver paddles and a stretcher.
“Listen to me, Kara,” Lee had begged aloud as a man pushed him aside; forcing him out of the way so that other the medical personnel could take over. “Come back to me. Come back!”
And he’d watched, open-mouthed, while her swimsuit had been pulled down, the pads prepped, and then suddenly her body was arcing under the onslaught of electricity. The charge forcing her lost beat to return. Starting everything anew.
‘Don’t die... Don’t die...’
There had been a half-second of silence, and then suddenly the electronic beep of the machines announcing that Kara’s heart was now beating on its own. Someone had passed Lee a blanket then as the chopper lifted into the sky, and he’d realized he was still sitting in his swim-trunks, though they’d dried sometime along the way.
He’d held onto Kara’s hand through the flight. Forcing himself to watch her breathing. Standing watch over her life.
Things had calmed then. She’d come round just as the mainland appeared on the horizon, her voice raw and thick, calling out for him.
“You came for me,” she said, sounding surprised for some reason.
And with that, Lee had finally wept.
~~~~~~~~~~~
Kara lay floating in a cocoon of warmth, her body swaddled in a heavy layer of blankets; her left hand pressed tightly between Lee’s. He sat beside her hospital bed, sound asleep now, his head against the mattress of her bed, eyes closed. She blinked, slowly waking up, noting the dark smudges under the black wing of his lashes and the way his face was drawn anxiously, even in sleep.
For a long time, she simply watched him while he slept, his chest rising and falling slowly. She was so tired she could hardly move; just wanted to stay like this forever. Just the two of them.
‘He followed me in,’ her mind offered, ‘brought me back.’
It was a thought that had been circling for ages. It seemed particularly important for some reason. She just couldn’t figure out why.
After a time Kara stirred, reaching out her free hand toward him. She felt jittery now that it was all over. Like she’d been taken out of her body, shaken hard, then shoved back in. Right now, not everything ‘fit’ yet, but with every passing minute it improved. Her fingers brushed through Lee’s dark hair and he jumped at the contact, sitting up.
“You’re awake,” he mumbled, his voice thick with sleep.
“Mmm...” she answered, smiling tiredly. “You’re not.”
He lifted her hand up from the bed, pressing a hard kiss against her knuckles. For a long moment he didn’t move, just held her fingers there against his lips, almost painfully tight. And it wasn’t until the sound of his breathing intruded, that she knew something was wrong. He was breathing hard, almost as though he’d been running.
“You okay?” she asked, and his eyes jumped up to hers. They were fierce; almost angry.
“Don’t you ever fucking do something like that again.”
She laughed, but it was weak.
“Drown?” she snorted. “Promise I wasn’t trying, Lee...”
He shook his head, moving closer so that their faces were only a hand’s breadth apart. His free hand reached out, cupping her cheek.
“Don’t you dare die on me Kara. You just... you can’t leave me again.”
She wasn’t sure how she knew, but she was pretty sure he didn’t just mean today.
Kara smiled, trying to think of a joke to make light of this. Nothing came. ‘I almost died out there.’ The thought didn’t scare her so much as the thought of Lee trying to survive the loss on his own. Having to force himself onward day after day. The thought of what that would do to him was a hand pressing down on her chest, much the same as the water had been. Suddenly her own breath was coming in ragged gasps too. His grief drowning her alongside him.
“I’m fine,” she said weakly. “Totally fine.”
It worried her to see him like this. Scared.
“Yeah, but I’m not.” His voice broke as he said it, eyes pressing tightly closed as he did.
She was almost too tired to move, so instead she simply leaned toward him, moving forward so that their foreheads tipped together. The contact comforting her as much as it did him.
“I’ll always come back to you,” she whispered. “Promise.”
He tightened his grip on her hand and this time she did smile. Their white-gold bands clinked together as he lifted their single fist up between, kissing her knuckles one more time before he spoke.
“This time just... stay.”
Part 2: Thursday afternoon, June, 2009
Central Park in June
“This one?” Kara asked, turning toward Lee.
She stood before him, dressed only in her lace bra and panties, holding a thin black blouse up before her. Lee, laying across the bed in their room, glanced up, dropping the book he was reading down and smiling.
“Nice,” he said, nodding helpfully.
He’d said the same thing at least five times in the last twenty minutes and it was starting to eat away at her last nerve. ‘Nice doesn’t cut it...’ she thought in frustration. Behind her she could hear the buzz of late-afternoon traffic outside the window pouring from the street below, reminding her that they needed to get going. Taking the train this time of day was a bitch in the city and though they had plenty of time before they left; she was already dreading it. The group of them were meeting in the park first and going from there.
“Fuck,” she muttered, throwing it down to the wood floor.
She could hear Lee chuckling quietly behind his book, but she didn’t turn back around. There had to be something to wear here! Something that would say all the things she wanted to say to these people - his family - without looking like she was trying too hard.
She pulled a blue t-shirt down and stared at it for a moment. ‘Too casual.’ It dropped to the floor. Next came out a structured, buttoned-down office number. ‘Too stiff.’ It went to the floor too. Then a graphic-print sundress. ‘Too loud.’ This time she wadded it up and tossed it angrily into the corner. She had just reached back into the closet again when Lee’s words interrupted her.
“You’re not actually nervous, are you?”
Kara snorted, glancing over at him. The book was now laid, face down, on the bed, and Lee was watching her with an expression caught somewhere between concern and amusement.
“I think there’s some unspoken rule of the universe,” Kara muttered, “that you will inevitably do something stupid the first time you meet your boyfriend’s parents.”
Lee laughed loudly this time and she turned toward him, hands rising to her hips in annoyance. She knew this was true because she’d lived it before.
“Yes,” she snapped, “I’m fucking terrified.”
He stopped laughing then, sitting up on the edge of the mattress and reaching out for her arm, pulling her stiff-legged toward the bed. She scowled at him. It was easier if she stuck to being annoyed.
“You’re being insane,” he said quietly, tipping his head to the side and giving her that wide smile that left her melting. “No...” he said, correcting himself. “No you’re beyond insane.”
“Yes,” she argued.
He had her standing before him now and he let go of her arm to reach down, putting his hands on either side of her waist, holding her still. His fingers were warm against her skin and Kara couldn’t help but notice how his eyes dropped down to trace the shape of her body while he held her steady.
“They’re going to love you,” he said, voice husky, leaning forward and laying a single kiss against the smooth skin just above her navel, then looking up and catching her gaze. “Just like I do.”
She rolled her eyes, trying to tug away, but his hands tightened, holding her still.
“You mean the same way Sam adores you?” she snipped, arms crossing in front of her, awaiting his reaction. The first ‘meet the family’ a few months back hadn’t gone well.
“That’s different,” Lee answered carefully - using that tone she thought of as his ‘lawyer voice’ - his hands against her waist tightening for a moment, then softening. “Sam and I just...”
He left the sentence unfinished and Kara chortled, eyes narrowing in victory. This was the reason, right here.
“I remember you being pretty nervous the first time you met him,” she said, reaching forward and running her hand over the top of his head, mussing his hair. “And that was just drinks, Lee. Not a formal thing like this.”
“That was different,” he said ruefully. “Your brother is six and half feet tall, and he didn’t like any of your boyfriends. Least of all me.”
He chuckled at the memory and Kara smirked. It had almost come to blows that first night.
“Mm-hmm...” Kara answered, raising en eyebrow. “See?”
Lee shook his head in denial.
“No. That was a test, ” he said, nodding. “This, on the other hand, is just dinner and a show.”
She sighed heavily, shoulders slumping in defeat.
“No, see, that’s where you’re wrong,” she answered tiredly. The old argument rising once again. “You’re this golden child... You’re from Westchester. You went to NYU and Harvard Law...”
Lee was smiling up at her as she spoke, and she turned to look out the window, trying to get through the litany of reasons ‘why’ before he distracted her. He pulled her closer so that she now stood between his knees at the edge of the bed, his breath soft against the skin of her stomach.
“...You grew up in this cultured family where going to Broadway was just something you did,” Kara continued.
As she spoke, his thumbs were brushing slowly over the smooth skin of her abdomen, making circles. Kara closed her eyes, trying to catch onto that ribbon of worry that - at this moment at least - seemed to be slipping further and further away.
“And me? The only thing I’ve seen on Broadway is the Naked Cowboy playing his guitar....”
“Uh-huh,” Lee murmured, pulling her closer, his hands sliding up her ribs so that they brushed the underside of her breasts.
“...I’m the fucked up foster kid who spent her life being bounced around from family to family and didn’t go to college...”
“Mm-hmmm...” Lee’s hands were under the edge of the bra now, nudging the lace away and letting his thumbs trace over her nipples.
“...and can’t get promoted past Sergeant,” Kara said, letting her eyes close and leaning into to the motion of his hands... ‘oh my god, his hands!’
“Terrible,” he whispered, leaning in to pull one rose-coloured peak into his mouth, leaving her panting for a second before she continued.
“...and who doesn’t know what you’re actually supposed to wear...” Kara gasped, her hands sliding into his hair, holding him still until he switched sides, “...to go to Sardi’s.”
She let out a low moan and Lee pulled back, grinning widely.
“Why do I put up with you?” he asked.
And then, before she could punch him, he pulled her down on top of him onto the bed full of discarded clothing. The two of them tangling together, remembering all of the reasons ‘why they worked’ in the motion of flesh and limbs. The worries of the day forgotten.
Part 3: Sunday morning, November, 2008
Marvelling at the bounty our days contain
He felt her absence from his side even before he awoke. An ache of loss for something tugging at his senses, pulling him out of sleep. Somewhere in the distant living room (where the first of their clothes had been shed last night in a heated rush of lips and hands) the tell-tale squeak on the hundred year old wood floor gave Kara away and Lee heard her make a sound like a cat’s hiss.
Half-awake, he blinked, finally catching sight of her through the half-open door. In the watery light of early morning, he could see her shift herself sideways, avoiding that section of flooring, and then begin picking up the rested of her discarded clothing. He closed his eyes again as Kara turned back around, searching for something with her lower lip caught between her teeth.
‘Leaving before I wake up...’ his mind announced in a wave of disappointment.
Being that this was the very first time they’d slept together, Lee was caught in a precarious position. They weren’t together, so to speak, so there were no boundaries with them yet. They’d never been established.
She could leave if she wanted.
Lying here now, listening to her sneak out of the apartment, Lee felt the gnawing frustration of having played his hand wrong. ‘Should have waited,’ the voice inside him chided. But Kara Thrace hadn’t seemed like the kind of woman who wanted to play games. Only now he was left feeling the unpleasant tug of regret. He liked her - more than that, actually - and she was making her feelings for him abundantly clear this morning.
There was another squeak - the doorway leading into the hall this time - and then the soft clod of her shoes being slipped on. Frowning, Lee pulled the sheets back over his shoulder. In the background, he could hear the jingle of keys in Kara’s pocket as she pulled on her coat. For a moment, a memory from yesterday intruded. They’d met by the statue of Balto at 2:30, as promised...
“Well now, this is a coincidence,” he said, grinning.
“There’s no such thing,” she taunted, her voice full of so much conviction he was taken aback. And yet it was her saying it, and that somehow made sense. They kept meeting after all.
“No such thing as coincidence?”
“If there’s one thing I’ve figured out,” she answered, “it’s that everything happens for a reason. The other night at the bar I felt like we were picking up where we left off or something.”
In the distant hallway, there was the sound of a zipper, as Kara getting ready to head out into the cold. It had been snowing as they came back to the apartment last night. Listening to her now as she prepared to leave, Lee wondered what had changed in the last few hours. There’d been so much promise there yesterday in the park, and then at dinner hours afterward when he’d been unable to keep his eyes off of her... and then later yet, when both of them had moved from looks, to touches, to all out fumbling for each other in a matter of minutes. Ending up here at his apartment for one more drink, one more story... and then everything else.
For a moment his mind was awash with memories of her moving overtop him. Head tipped back in ecstasy. The moans low in her throat.
Somewhere at the end of the hallway, he heard the squeak of the door opening slowly and then latch on the front door snap closed. Lee sighed, letting out a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding.
Kara was gone.
With that realization dragging his thoughts down, Lee finally let his body relax. In minutes he was in a restless slumber, dreaming of a cold early dawn some other time. Awakening alone on a bed of sand and discarded clothing...
A short time later, he woke up, jerking in surprise, as something, or someone, shifted into bed beside him. Squinting into the now-bright bedroom, he was surprised to see Kara easing herself back in next to him.
“Hey - you’re back,” he mumbled tiredly.
“Went out to grab us some bagels for later,” she said lightly. “You’ve got crap all in the fridge. Doesn’t a guy like you eat sometimes?”
She slid under the covers as she spoke, pulling herself into the nest of warmth around him, then abruptly placing her ice-cold feet against his legs.
“Shit!” Lee shouted, suddenly awake.
She rolled toward him, giggling, putting her face against his shoulder.
“Sorry,” she muttered, wheedling her icy fingers around him at the same time, chilling him. “Was cold outside and you’re warm.”
He smiled, feeling her lips and then her teeth brush the side of his neck, then move upward, finally reaching his mouth. And then she was kissing him, his body suddenly alive and aware. She was here! His hands ran across her body, pulling her close as he leaned in, settling himself over top of her, and pushing her clothing out of the way. Her tangled panties and pants kicked off impatiently as his hands roved lower, teasing her slowly.
She moaned, her fingers tightening against his shoulders, pulling him nearer and Lee’s mouth slanted hard against hers; tongues and teeth duelling for a moment while he nudged her thighs apart. He could feel her shiver at his touch, her whole body sending out a frisson of energy that seemed to spread from her to him.
It felt... right.
“Warmer now?” he asked, sliding into her.
“Getting there...” she moaned.
Part 4: Friday night, November, 2008
And we feel it like the shiver of a passing train
Seeing him walking into the nightclub, Kara had two immediate reactions.
First, she was completely furious, ready to arrest him for pissing her off again. The term stalker came to mind. Second, she was convinced, for the first time, that he might not be crazy for insisting that he knew her from somewhere... because here he was again. And that made no fucking sense unless you considered that things - life, destiny, kismet, whatever - might just be pushing them together. Maybe, as he kept insisting, she really did know him somehow. And not just from the last three strangely-opportune meetings over the last week, but from some other time altogether.
Leaving her friends behind at the table, she headed through the crowded club toward him, stepping up next to him and giving him a once over. Sharon was right, he did look better when he wasn’t in a suit. He hadn’t seen her yet, so she stepped closer - too close really - wearing a smile that bordered on insolent.
“Hey,” she snapped, raising an eyebrow. “What the hell are you doing here?”
Lee seemed to see her for the first time then, his mouth opening in surprise and then closing once more. The shock on his face slowly replaced with concern.
“I’m just getting a drink,” he muttered, then stepped back slightly. “You’re not going to spill this on me too, are you?”
She rolled her eyes, hands automatically tightening into fists. She wasn’t sure exactly what it was, but this guy seemed to know how to push her buttons, and not all of them were good.
“You need to stop following me, buddy,” she growled, stepping forward and noting how he didn’t step back this time, just stared down at her, perplexed. “Because I’m getting sick of this crap, I don’t know what the hell your deal is but-“
“Look,” he said, interrupting her flow of words, “I just came here for a drink with my friend...”
He turned, gesturing back to where a group of guys - ‘Suits from uptown,’ Kara thought in irritation - were sitting at a table. A dark haired one raised a hand, waving back. Kara scowled, stepping closer still - inappropriately so - and dropping her voice.
“Then why the hell do you just keep… popping up in my life?”
He sighed heavily, glancing around as if looking for something or someone. After a half second, he looked back at her, gesturing for her to follow him away from the throng of people to the side where the bar was less crowded. He turned and began walking away. For a few seconds, Kara considered just going the other direction, heading back over to Sharon and Karl and the others, but she was tired of this thing - whatever it was - that didn’t seem to want to end. Straightening her shoulders, she followed. She wanted an answer, damnit.
“Listening,” she muttered, crossing her arms in front of her.
“Okay, first I was in Central Park,” he said, a line of concern appearing between his eyebrows. “Because it was a nice day and I was walking through...”
‘He has nice blue eyes,’ Kara thought absently.
“... and I saw you and got the feeling I knew you from somewhere. I guess I didn’t...”
He shrugged, drawing her attention to the breadth of his shoulders. ‘Works out...’ she thought.
“No harm, no foul,” Lee added.
“So what about at the bagel shop?” she asked, eyes narrowed.
“I ran into you twice in the same week,” he grumbled, annoyance starting to thread through his words, “I thought it was a funny coincidence.”
She stepped closer and this time he frowned in response, a muscle in his cheek starting to jump in annoyance.
“And you actually just bumped into me at the coffee place?” Kara asked doubtfully.
“I tripped.”
The words were sharp edged. ‘Has a temper too...’
“And now you’re here...” she said, glancing around at the teeming bar. She could just barely see Karl’s face over the heads of the crowd. He was standing up at the booth now. Watching them talking. He grinned as he caught Kara’s eye.
“Getting a drink with my friend,” Lee muttered, “just like you are, I assume.”
She looked back at him, catching him watching her, concern making his face seem more worn, for a moment, than it had been before. She’d almost say she recognized the look. Had seen that before on him. Though of course she absolutely hadn’t.
There was a slightly too-long pause that dragged out between them, and then Kara suddenly spoke. She felt things alter somehow as she did. Shifting somehow... Becoming more solid.
“You actually believe this is all just coincidence, don’t you?”
He smiled at her words. ‘Amazing smile...’ she thought, chagrined. She had a thing for a great smile. Always had.
“Something like that,” he replied, offering his hand. “Lee Adama, by the way.”
The name was familiar. Reaching out her own hand, their palms met, and if she’d had any doubt in her mind that she was meant to meet him - had always been meant to meet him - then that gesture changed it all. It was like a spark, or a flare of reaction from their bare hands, and the handshake - like the look that had passed between them moments earlier - lingered on just slightly too long.
“Kara Thrace,” she answered, noting the way his eyes flared as she said it, as if the name meant something more to him too.
Hours later, they stumbled out into the rain-dampened streets. They were laughing raucously (though what exactly about she couldn’t remember anymore.) The only thing she knew for sure was that Lee was here with her and that he fit with her friends somehow. Up ahead near the alley, Karl was trying to wave down a cab, but was having no luck. Lee was standing beside her, waiting, it seemed, for something else. She caught his eye for the hundredth time that night and he smiled, stepping closer, his eyes pinning her down.
He seemed ready to say something, but Kara beat him to it. There was a flare of nervousness rising inside her, growing with the tightening connection. The intensity of it all worried her.
“I’ve uh... got to go,” she said lightly. “It was good to actually meet you this time.”
She grinned, feeling the heady rush of alcohol buzzing under her skin. Or maybe it was just Lee. Having him standing next to her was making her feel more alive than ever. He stepped closer still, his face growing serious. There was a gravity to the expression that she felt she should recognise.
From before.
“Can I take you home?” he asked quietly.
She snorted.
“Um, I live with my brother Sam. Not sure that’d go over well.”
He reached out, running a finger along the edge of her arm, leaving her skin pebbled with gooseflesh. It was barely a touch, but it was enough. A shiver ran the length of her spine.
“You want to head back to my place?”
Kara grinned, glancing over to the alley where Karl and Sharon were waiting. Chuckling and peaking over at her. There was money changing hands right now, she could sense it. The two of them were notorious for betting on everything. This would be no different.
“Not tonight,” Kara answered, turning back to look at him. There was challenge in her eyes.
He leaned in toward her, mouth brushing her ear. Closer than he had to be.
“Some night though.”
Kara took a single step back away from him and winked, without answering. ‘Can’t think when he’s that close,’ her mind warned. She turned, aiming to head back to Karl and Sharon, when Lee suddenly reached out, grabbing her hand. She glanced back at him, frowning. That snap of connection was stronger than it had been the first time he’d touched her. For half a second, she considered breaking her own rule and heading back home with him.
”In case you’re planning on not running into me on Saturday,” he said, smiling slowly. “Don’t be by the Balto statue at two.”
“Well, I give you credit,” Kara said with a chuckle, “I have not heard that one before...”
She smirked, pulling her hand out of his and moving away. Letting the distance stretch out into one step and then two, until they were finally apart. Up at the end of the alley, a cab had pulled over and Karl turned back around, calling for her to hurry up. Sharon still giggling.
“Tell you what,” Kara said, laughing, “I’ll avoid you at two thirty... I sleep in late on Saturdays.”
She turned, but his words followed her up the street, echoing across the sidewalk.
“All right. So I won’t see you then.”
She glanced back toward him as she climbed into the cab. Lee was still waiting.
Part 5: One week in November, 2008
That other life, deep underground
The first time he saw her was in Central Park near the rock-perched statue of Balto. It was a nice day for November, and he’d decided to cut across the park, rather than walking around the other way. Coming in through the sixty-seventh street access to shave off a few minutes of his commute; or at least that had been his thought.
One second he’d been heading through the crowd, mind already on the litigation meeting he had a few minutes from now, and the next he was totally absorbed in a blonde woman who was laughing loudly, walking toward him. She was next to a very tall guy, who had his arms crossed on his chest grinning down at her. The two of them absorbed in some private joke.
Lee stopped walking and simply stared for a few seconds, watching her and trying to place how he knew her. Because it wasn’t even a question. He knew he did. He just couldn’t figure out from where.
Medium height, blonde hair that flipped back from her face in a shaggy bob, full, kissable lips, eyes that were green or gold - Lee couldn’t tell from this distance - and the most amazing muscular body that made him ache to touch her. A body made for all the best things in life, he realized with a jolt. He should remember her, but he couldn’t. Almost without intending to, his feet were taking him up toward her. The tall guy glanced over at him, nostrils flaring in annoyance at the interruption.
“...and I said that we should just book the guy because he clearly had been part of the deal even if he hadn’t...”
Her words petered out and then disappeared as she caught her friend’s scowl. She turned toward Lee, annoyance flashing across her face. Again, that feeling of ‘before’ sucker punched him, making the light today seem slightly brighter for some reason. ‘Definitely have met her before...’ his mind repeated. His heart was thudding painfully hard in his chest.
“You want something, buddy,” she snapped, interrupting his thoughts. “Or you just here to stare?”
It was then that Lee had noticed the uniforms. The two were police officers and neither one seemed particularly happy with him. He glanced over at the tall guy, then stepped closer to the woman, his hand reaching out toward her, apparently of its own volition. He pushed his fist into his pocket, tightening it around the change inside, holding tight.
For the first time he knew what Dee meant when she’d broken up with him: that the right person was out there. He just had to find her.
Lee just had.
“I uh...” he stammered, trying to pull his thoughts into order. “Do I know you?”
“What?” She was staring at him with annoyance. Her hand, he noticed absently, resting on the top of her club. Her partner had widened his stance, lips pressed into a grim line.
“I just think we’ve met before,” Lee added. “Have we?”
She smirked, her eyes sliding over to her partner and then back to Lee again. Appraising.
“Not in this lifetime, buddy,” she drawled, and then she turned and the two of them walked away.
~~~~~~~~~~~
The second time was in the bagel shop. He’d been standing at the counter, waiting to be served, and as he turned around to leave, she was there. They’d both stared at one another for half a second too long, and then the woman behind the counter was shouting for the “next customer” and the woman - whoever she was - was stepping past him.
Lee stepped out of line, turning back to catch her eye, but she didn’t turn around.
~~~~~~~~~~~
The third time was in Starbucks. This time he was coming out of the store, venti half-fat latte in hand, and she was coming in and the two of them collided in the doorway. Lee tripped, hitting her hard with his shoulder.
“For Christ’s sake!” she snapped, jumping back out of the way of the sloshing coffee that had poured over her arm and was now dripping to the floor.
“God, I’m so sorry,” Lee muttered, stepping out of the way of the swinging door; putting them both on the same side. “It was an accident. I didn’t realize you were coming in. I never meant...”
He lifted his eyes, catching sight of her for the first time. ‘Her again...’ His words trailed off at the same time she caught sight of him. He was shocked to see her here - yet again - for the third time in a week. It made no sense at all. Greater New York was a city of twenty million people after all. She, however, didn’t seem to find the coincidence as amazing as he did.
“Oh you have got to be fucking kidding me!” she barked, stepping forward and shoving him hard so that his coffee tipped back sloshing over his arm and the front of his suit. “I don’t know what the hell you’re doing, asshole, but you had better stop following me!”
And then she was storming away, leaving Lee staring after her, wondering why this all felt so goddamn familiar. And why he wasn’t even angry about the suit he was wearing which would need to be dry cleaned. And why it didn’t bother him that he was going to have to go home to change, and that would make him late for his afternoon meeting.
‘That’s just how she is,’ his mind offered sagely.
He didn’t know quite what to make of the thought.
Part 7: Before
You and I / Side by side
In another time, in another place, the two of them sat side by side under the wing of her viper, the busyness of the hanger deck forgotten for a moment.
“Feeling sorry for me?” she asked.
Lee glanced over at her, smiling, but his eyes were sad. It hurt her to see him like this... but there was too much left between them for them not to be. Too much history now. It wasn’t ever going to be easy no matter what. There were no do-overs. No takebacks.
She just couldn’t help herself from wishing that there were.
“Kara, everyone gets rattled, he answered, “even the best.”
She smiled at that: his choice of wording. She knew that at another time she would have come back with a quip about her being the best and him finally admitting it, and they would’ve laughed and teased or maybe fought. ‘We were always good at that too.’
But not today.
“I'm not going back out there,” she said calmly, “I don't trust myself.”
There it was. The unspoken thing hanging in the air between them. Her darkest fear.
She stared forward, wondering what he was going to say next. Because even though she knew Lee Adama better than anyone else in the entire Fleet - better than her husband even - there were times he still surprised her. Challenged her. She both loved and hated it. And somehow this moment, just the two of them side by side, made all the terror of her dreams and the vision of the dead child who was herself in the cockpit, fade away slightly. Lee was here, and that made things feel more settled than they’d been in a long, long time.
Beside her, he made a noise in his throat, as if trying to choose his words, and then he finally spoke.
“So trust me,” he answered quietly. “I'll fly your wing.”
Her heart tightened at the thought of the two of them out flying again. There’d been a song that had been popular on the radio back when the two of them had been in the Academy together (though they hadn’t known each other then), and for some reason, a stanza of it now came to mind. ‘You and I, side by side, we are the next time ‘round...’
It seemed fitting somehow.
“The CAG flying my number two?”
He smiled patiently and the sight of it made her throat tighten. This felt like goodbye.
“Whatever it takes.”
He turned toward as he spoke, his blue eyes full of broken promises and things that she’d never been able to fully explain. So much of it was pain. She swallowed hard, trying to keep her voice light. Knowing somehow that his next answer would decide for her.
It would be the sign she was waiting for.
“How are things with you and Dee?”
There was the slightest stumble as he began.
“Uh, you know, good,” he said, then frowned. His words starting up again. “No, better than good... Best they've ever been.”
Kara smiled, swallowing the lump of pain in her throat. Forcing it down and away.
And there it was... The thing she had been waiting to hear.
“I'm happy for you. Really,” she said nodding. “It's funny though, after all we've been through, we are right back where we started. You're a CAG, and I am your hotshot problem pilot. I guess that's all we'll ever be now, huh?”
And for a few seconds longer, it was just Lee and her together, sitting side by side.
The way it was supposed to be.
Part 6: Wednesday night, August, 2010
We are the next time 'round
Sam showed up at the hospital just before the end of visiting hours. He’d been on a complicated mesh of last-minutes flights lasting the last day and a half to get here; heart in throat. Lee’s words echoing through his mind without cease.
“...she was gone for a couple minutes... did CPR until the air ambulance arrived... Her heart stopped, Sam... I’m so sorry...”
When he had first heard the news, Sam had yelled at Lee. He was starting to feel bad for that now. Another part of him didn’t care. He’d lived for so many years watching out for Kara - especially after things got really bad at home and the two of them were pushed into foster care - that hearing he’d nearly lost her had pushed him to lose his usually even temper. Even now he felt raw inside. ‘I can’t lose her...’ his mind argued.
But there was something else to what Lee had said. Something Sam couldn’t even explain to himself. Almost like the words meant more than just this, but what it was eluded him. He only knew he needed to make sure Kara was okay. That was what he always did. She was his family, after all. They only had each other.
The two of them against the rest of the world.
Heading down the corridor toward the nurses’ station tonight, his own words returned. “Why weren’t you closer to her? Why weren’t you there to protect her?!” A tide of guilt rising along with them, because the words could, just as easily, have been for himself. Sam scowled, walking faster, his footsteps loud on the tiled floor.
‘You weren’t there...’ his mind taunted, ‘and he was...’
Lee had gone down into the water, had pulled Kara out and saved her. Without him, she’d be gone. Something near to shame was now clawing at the inside of Sam’s chest, leaving him feeling cracked and damaged, but he shoved the emotion away. He needed to know Kara was okay. See her himself.
Reaching the nursing station, a middle aged woman at the desk stepped in front of him, stopping him, hands on hips.
“Visiting hours are almost over,” she growled. “Come back tomorrow.”
Sam might be a foot taller than her, but he had no doubt he wouldn’t get past without her say so.
“My sister is Kara Thrace... or maybe she’s under Adama now. Don’t know. I’m her brother, Sam. I have to see her.”
The woman’s face changed, softening somehow and she reached over, pulling out a chart. He had time to notice that the woman’s name tag ‘Dr. Lynn Saunders’. She was the one who Lee had mentioned on the phone.
“Okay, Sam, yes. Lee mentioned you’d be coming,” she muttered, flipping through the chart. “Kara’s in room four twenty-six, but she might be sleeping now. She’s been through a lot. They both have.”
Sam swallowed hard, trying to think of what to ask. How to put all of his fears into simple words.
“But is Kara going to be okay?”
The woman smiled; her face transforming into a motherly look of comfort.
“She’s already made a lot of progress, and she’ll be released in a couple of days. But you should know that she’s been through quite a trauma. Things were,” she paused, frowning, “touch and go for a while.”
“Lucky she survived,” Sam muttered, his throat throbbing painfully.
The woman laughed.
“No, not luck at all,” she answered. “That’s thanks to her husband.” She paused, her eyebrows pulling together for a moment as if concerned, then relaxing. “Lee kept her going until the EMTs could defibrillate her heart. If he hadn’t done that, well,” she shook her head sadly, “it would have been far too late by the time the air ambulance arrived.”
Sam could feel tears prickling at his lower lids. It felt like the room was spinning; too much changing at once. Again, the guilt rose, but this time it was tearing through the walls of his chest, pushing them away.
“I uh, I didn’t know,” he stammered. “How did he...?”
She gave him a sympathetic pat on the arm.
“He just kept doing CPR until they arrived. It was twenty minutes, but he just wouldn’t stop. Wouldn’t let her die.”
Sam didn’t answer - couldn’t answer, not yet - and so she turned, gesturing him to follow her down the hallway. Finally reaching the door to Kara’s hospital room, she pushed it aside, then stepped back.
“Go on in,” she said quietly, “I’m sure they both want to see you.”
Sam waited for a few seconds, forcing himself to take several deep breaths before finally stepping into the dimly lit interior of the room. He wasn’t sure how bad things would be, and he hadn’t talked to Lee since yesterday.
Two steps inside he got his answer.
The two of them were curled together on the narrow bed, Lee’s body wrapped protectively around Kara’s. His legs tucked behind her in an echo of her posture, while his arms curled around her chest, holding their combined hands fisted together on the bed. They were sound asleep, Lee’s lips pressed against the back of her neck. Seeing them together, side by side, Sam smiled, feeling himself relax for the first time since the phone call.
He just... knew.
The two of them - both he and Lee - were here with Kara and that meant things were finally going to be okay. He stepped toward the bed, his hand reaching out to brush over his sister’s hair. Hearing the sound of his shoe scuffling along the floor, Lee jumped at the sound, eyes opening. They were red-rimmed and tired, and again the guilt rose in Sam. For a second neither spoke.
“Thanks, Lee,” Sam finally said, his voice rough. “For... everything.”
Lee didn’t answer, just nodded, then closed his eyes. After a minute, he was back asleep. And this time it was Sam who pulled up a chair and waited, his eyes on the rise and fall of Kara’s breathing as he waited out the night.