#28 - Welcome Back, Stacey!
I've been wanting to snark this book for ages, and I finally found time to do it! Yay!
Link to the cover: http://www.dibbly-fresh.com/gallery/displayimage.php?album=41&pos=53
Looks like a huge house for only two people. The fug station wagon looks about the same as it did on book #13, and the outfit Claudia is wearing actually matches the description of it in Chapter 14, wow, Hodges! Way to go! Stacey is dressed like a receptionist. Also, that doesn’t look like the most comfortable outfit for a two-hour car ride, or the most practical one for spending the day unpacking boxes.
Chapter 1: Begins with dialogue, as usual. Stacey is baby-sitting for the Walker kids. She makes sure to point out that the Walkers are BLACK. But, when she’s with them, she doesn’t think of them as BLACK, just as PEOPLE. Good for you, Anastasia! She is also daydreaming about the increasing arguments between her parents.
The Walkers arrive home and Stacey heads downstairs to her floor. Way down the hall she can hear her parents screaming at each other. She decides not to go in, but stand outside the door and eavesdrop. So we go into…
Chapter 2: The McGills are fighting about the humongous bills Mrs. McGill has racked up at various jewelry stores. Mrs. McGill says she gets bored, so she goes shopping. Mr. McGill screams back that she needs to get a job then. If this was a real-life argument between two adults, there would be all kinds of cursing and swearing, and maybe the sound of someone smashing a vase or other breakable on the floor, but this is BSC land, so instead we just get words like “workaholic” tossed around.
Stacey has heard enough, so she flees the building in tears. She runs all the way to Laine’s building, because they are still friends and Laine’s bitch phase is still a few dozen books into the future.
After talking a little, Laine offers to let Stacey call Claudia, and it just happens to be a Wednesday afternoon during a BSC meeting, giving the perfect segue into a description of the club and all the other members!
Chapter 3: Is entirely made up of describing the other girls in the club, so forgive me for completely skipping over it.
Chapter 4: Claudia answers the phone and has a quick argument with Kristy over whether to “allow” the call. For fuck’s sake, it’s Claudia’s phone, Kristy! Yes, you’re having a meeting, but it’s almost over, Stacey is upset and is reaching out to her friends as a result, and you are not God. Anyway, Claudia wins and Stacey chats with everyone. Stacey also promises to pay Laine back for every penny of the call. Eh, I’d just let Laine eat the cost, Stace, since her family is apparently loaded and also because Laine is a bitch. Sure, you’re friends right now, but once a bitch…
Chapter 5: Stacey finally goes home. She sneaks down the hallway, expecting to hear more fighting, but all she hears is the sound of I Love Lucy coming from another apartment. Gee, AMM, I didn’t know you lived in the same building as Stacey! Stacey finds her parents in the living room, sitting quietly together. At first, she’s relieved they’re not fighting, but then they spring the news on her: They’re getting a divorce. Stacey is shocked and then angry, locking herself into her room and eventually falling asleep fully dressed.
Chapter 6: Stacey wakes up the next day and decides to give her parents the silent treatment. They tell her she can stay home from school, but she refuses. She then proceeds to put on the most hideous outfit ever (Claudia would be proud of this getup):
“I put on one of my better outfits - short red pants with purple suspenders over a bright yellow and black sweatshirt. On my feet I put my purple push-down socks and a pair of red hightop sneakers.”
Wait, it gets better. (Worse?)
“I added jewelry - a big necklace with wooden bananas and oranges strung on it, and dangly earrings shaped like sunglasses.” She also rolls up a red scarf and ties it into her hair. The fuck? The color combo of this outfit is enough to make me nauseated. And since when do suspenders and wooden fruit necklaces spell sophistication?
Stacey dawdles on her way to school, gets there late, and proceeds to avoid her friends all day. Except she doesn’t really have any friends except for Laine, so it’s not that hard.
Chapter 7: Stacey’s parents force her silent treatment to an end by putting a sign on her bedroom door that says DO NOT ENTER. GO BACK TO THE LIVING ROOM AND TALK TO YOUR PARENTS. I always found this funny. Before that, though, Stacey spent the afternoon wandering New York City by herself and talking to a homeless lady, because 13-year-olds should definitely be allowed to do those things.
They all talk about things like joint custody, when Mrs. M drops the bomb that she’d like to move back to the Brook. Now Stacey’s even more confused about whether to stay in New York where she only has one friend, or whether to return to the BSCult’s fold. She finally says she can’t make a decision until she knows for sure where her parents are both going to live.
Might I add here that Stacey’s decision of where to go was spoiled just by the TITLE alone, not to mention the front cover showing her reuniting with the BSC, along with the little “She’s home for good!” blurb! Seriously, “Stacey’s Choice” would have been a better title for this book, if only to keep the reader in suspense.
Chapter 8: Baby-sitting chapter. Miraculously, it’s not a Stoneybrook one involving Kristy sitting for her siblings, but a Stacey one. She’s at the Walkers’ again. Apparently they are her only clients in NYC anymore, unlike #18 when she was in mega-high demand.
Nothing really happens in this chapter except for Stacey struggling mentally with which parent to live with and feeling like she may never see the Walkers again, so it’s actually kind of sad and not very snarkable. On to…
Chapter 9: Mrs. M announces she’s driving up to the Brook to house-hunt. And the process sounds completely unrealistic. First of all, Mrs. M doesn’t even call a real estate agent until they get to Stoneybrook. Um…what? You mean she didn’t already have one? Then the agent just happens to have a bunch of houses available for them to look at. Again…what? You need to make appointments in advance to see houses, so if they still have someone living in them, the people can arrange to be away from the house while you walk through it. Even if the houses are vacant, you still need to set up an appointment ahead of time, so your agent has time to get codes to the lockboxes on the houses, etc. Everything about this house-hunting is all wrong. But I digress.
Okay. So they go pick up Claudia, who Stacey didn’t phone ahead of time, and Claudia flips out when Stacey shows up at her door. Why wasn’t Claudia baby-sitting? After all, it’s all those girls ever do. In fact, why wasn’t there some sort of BSC-arranged carnival happening that day that would have prevented all of them from being able to see Stacey? Geez, Kristy, you’re slacking off there.
The agent shows them a bunch of craptacular houses, including one that has multiple rooms painted purple, until they finally find one that’s livable. It just happens to be behind the Pikes’ house, too - totes awesome! Mrs. M seems to like it and says she’ll let her agent know within the week whether she wants to take the house. Again, none of this is realistic. Who the hell finds a house on their first day of house-hunting, especially after only seeing about five of them? My husband and I looked at about 30 houses over the span of three weeks before we finally found one, and most people I’ve talked to had a similar experience. But again, I digress. To the sleepover!
Chapter 10: It’s a BSC slumber party! At Claudia’s house, natch! The Cult is together again! Nothing really happens in this chapter, either, except for Stacey feeling even more mixed-up about where she wants to live. Oh, and Claudia and Mallory “attacked” a package of Oreos that was hidden in the closet. Easy there, Mal. Claudia stays model-slim no matter what, but you’re already “sturdy”, so you better lay off the junk food!
Chapter 11: Mr. M has found an apartment and starts talking about it in front of Mrs. M as if Stacey’s already agreed to move in with him, which is kind of an asshole thing to do. They all end up getting into an argument that ends with Stacey slamming the door to her room once again.
The next day, Stacey is making a pro and con list of the Brook and NYC. After completing it, she is suddenly able to make her decision: Back to the Brook it is. When she tells her mom, Mrs. M tears up, which makes you go aww and isn’t too snarkable. Still, the reader knew all along what Stacey was going to do, so this wasn’t exactly a big revelation for any of us.
Stacey breaks the new to her dad about going back to Stoneybrook, and they both cry.
Again, a scene that isn’t very snark-worthy.
Chapter 12: Packing, crazy homeless lady, more baby-sitting, blah. Nothing much to see here, folks!
Chapter 13: MOVING DAY! Laine comes over with a New York breakfast, and apparently Connecticut bagels are like hockey pucks. What? Laine also considers Connecticut to be “the wilderness.” Uh, whatever. The Walkers come by with presents, collide with the moving men, and their kid keeps tripping and falling down. Yeah. The McGills have some final arguments over some household stuff, and then it’s time to go. Lots of goodbyes are exchanged, and Stacey gets into the fug station wagon for the long ride back to the Brook.
Chapter 14: Stacey opens a letter that Laine gave her, which contains half of the BFF necklace that Stacey will soon mail back to Laine when their BFFness comes to a screeching halt.
When they pull up to their new house, the whole BSC along with most of the kids they sit for are standing there in the yard. I don’t know about you, but I think I’d be more annoyed than happy to see a bunch of people standing there in my yard when all I really want to do is freaking unpack and get settled in. Of course, Jackie Rodowsky manages to fall over a box and bust open his lip. Sigh. We get it, the kid is just a constant swirling maelstrom of accidents and mishaps. But would it kill AMM to just have the kid stand there for once and not have something happen to him?
Chapter 15: Ah, the last chapter. Stacey is now firmly entrenched back into her role as BSCult treasurer and also as one of the most sophisticated girls in all of SMS. She sits for Charlotte again, races to a club meeting, and walks home with Mallory the Sturdy, because they’re neighbors now. She thinks about how she’s finally glad to be back, even though she’ll still always miss the city and her father. Give it some time, Stacey, because you’ll be sick of these girls soon enough. #83, anyone?
And that’s a wrap! This was my first snark, so please be kind. J
Link to the cover: http://www.dibbly-fresh.com/gallery/displayimage.php?album=41&pos=53
Looks like a huge house for only two people. The fug station wagon looks about the same as it did on book #13, and the outfit Claudia is wearing actually matches the description of it in Chapter 14, wow, Hodges! Way to go! Stacey is dressed like a receptionist. Also, that doesn’t look like the most comfortable outfit for a two-hour car ride, or the most practical one for spending the day unpacking boxes.
Chapter 1: Begins with dialogue, as usual. Stacey is baby-sitting for the Walker kids. She makes sure to point out that the Walkers are BLACK. But, when she’s with them, she doesn’t think of them as BLACK, just as PEOPLE. Good for you, Anastasia! She is also daydreaming about the increasing arguments between her parents.
The Walkers arrive home and Stacey heads downstairs to her floor. Way down the hall she can hear her parents screaming at each other. She decides not to go in, but stand outside the door and eavesdrop. So we go into…
Chapter 2: The McGills are fighting about the humongous bills Mrs. McGill has racked up at various jewelry stores. Mrs. McGill says she gets bored, so she goes shopping. Mr. McGill screams back that she needs to get a job then. If this was a real-life argument between two adults, there would be all kinds of cursing and swearing, and maybe the sound of someone smashing a vase or other breakable on the floor, but this is BSC land, so instead we just get words like “workaholic” tossed around.
Stacey has heard enough, so she flees the building in tears. She runs all the way to Laine’s building, because they are still friends and Laine’s bitch phase is still a few dozen books into the future.
After talking a little, Laine offers to let Stacey call Claudia, and it just happens to be a Wednesday afternoon during a BSC meeting, giving the perfect segue into a description of the club and all the other members!
Chapter 3: Is entirely made up of describing the other girls in the club, so forgive me for completely skipping over it.
Chapter 4: Claudia answers the phone and has a quick argument with Kristy over whether to “allow” the call. For fuck’s sake, it’s Claudia’s phone, Kristy! Yes, you’re having a meeting, but it’s almost over, Stacey is upset and is reaching out to her friends as a result, and you are not God. Anyway, Claudia wins and Stacey chats with everyone. Stacey also promises to pay Laine back for every penny of the call. Eh, I’d just let Laine eat the cost, Stace, since her family is apparently loaded and also because Laine is a bitch. Sure, you’re friends right now, but once a bitch…
Chapter 5: Stacey finally goes home. She sneaks down the hallway, expecting to hear more fighting, but all she hears is the sound of I Love Lucy coming from another apartment. Gee, AMM, I didn’t know you lived in the same building as Stacey! Stacey finds her parents in the living room, sitting quietly together. At first, she’s relieved they’re not fighting, but then they spring the news on her: They’re getting a divorce. Stacey is shocked and then angry, locking herself into her room and eventually falling asleep fully dressed.
Chapter 6: Stacey wakes up the next day and decides to give her parents the silent treatment. They tell her she can stay home from school, but she refuses. She then proceeds to put on the most hideous outfit ever (Claudia would be proud of this getup):
“I put on one of my better outfits - short red pants with purple suspenders over a bright yellow and black sweatshirt. On my feet I put my purple push-down socks and a pair of red hightop sneakers.”
Wait, it gets better. (Worse?)
“I added jewelry - a big necklace with wooden bananas and oranges strung on it, and dangly earrings shaped like sunglasses.” She also rolls up a red scarf and ties it into her hair. The fuck? The color combo of this outfit is enough to make me nauseated. And since when do suspenders and wooden fruit necklaces spell sophistication?
Stacey dawdles on her way to school, gets there late, and proceeds to avoid her friends all day. Except she doesn’t really have any friends except for Laine, so it’s not that hard.
Chapter 7: Stacey’s parents force her silent treatment to an end by putting a sign on her bedroom door that says DO NOT ENTER. GO BACK TO THE LIVING ROOM AND TALK TO YOUR PARENTS. I always found this funny. Before that, though, Stacey spent the afternoon wandering New York City by herself and talking to a homeless lady, because 13-year-olds should definitely be allowed to do those things.
They all talk about things like joint custody, when Mrs. M drops the bomb that she’d like to move back to the Brook. Now Stacey’s even more confused about whether to stay in New York where she only has one friend, or whether to return to the BSCult’s fold. She finally says she can’t make a decision until she knows for sure where her parents are both going to live.
Might I add here that Stacey’s decision of where to go was spoiled just by the TITLE alone, not to mention the front cover showing her reuniting with the BSC, along with the little “She’s home for good!” blurb! Seriously, “Stacey’s Choice” would have been a better title for this book, if only to keep the reader in suspense.
Chapter 8: Baby-sitting chapter. Miraculously, it’s not a Stoneybrook one involving Kristy sitting for her siblings, but a Stacey one. She’s at the Walkers’ again. Apparently they are her only clients in NYC anymore, unlike #18 when she was in mega-high demand.
Nothing really happens in this chapter except for Stacey struggling mentally with which parent to live with and feeling like she may never see the Walkers again, so it’s actually kind of sad and not very snarkable. On to…
Chapter 9: Mrs. M announces she’s driving up to the Brook to house-hunt. And the process sounds completely unrealistic. First of all, Mrs. M doesn’t even call a real estate agent until they get to Stoneybrook. Um…what? You mean she didn’t already have one? Then the agent just happens to have a bunch of houses available for them to look at. Again…what? You need to make appointments in advance to see houses, so if they still have someone living in them, the people can arrange to be away from the house while you walk through it. Even if the houses are vacant, you still need to set up an appointment ahead of time, so your agent has time to get codes to the lockboxes on the houses, etc. Everything about this house-hunting is all wrong. But I digress.
Okay. So they go pick up Claudia, who Stacey didn’t phone ahead of time, and Claudia flips out when Stacey shows up at her door. Why wasn’t Claudia baby-sitting? After all, it’s all those girls ever do. In fact, why wasn’t there some sort of BSC-arranged carnival happening that day that would have prevented all of them from being able to see Stacey? Geez, Kristy, you’re slacking off there.
The agent shows them a bunch of craptacular houses, including one that has multiple rooms painted purple, until they finally find one that’s livable. It just happens to be behind the Pikes’ house, too - totes awesome! Mrs. M seems to like it and says she’ll let her agent know within the week whether she wants to take the house. Again, none of this is realistic. Who the hell finds a house on their first day of house-hunting, especially after only seeing about five of them? My husband and I looked at about 30 houses over the span of three weeks before we finally found one, and most people I’ve talked to had a similar experience. But again, I digress. To the sleepover!
Chapter 10: It’s a BSC slumber party! At Claudia’s house, natch! The Cult is together again! Nothing really happens in this chapter, either, except for Stacey feeling even more mixed-up about where she wants to live. Oh, and Claudia and Mallory “attacked” a package of Oreos that was hidden in the closet. Easy there, Mal. Claudia stays model-slim no matter what, but you’re already “sturdy”, so you better lay off the junk food!
Chapter 11: Mr. M has found an apartment and starts talking about it in front of Mrs. M as if Stacey’s already agreed to move in with him, which is kind of an asshole thing to do. They all end up getting into an argument that ends with Stacey slamming the door to her room once again.
The next day, Stacey is making a pro and con list of the Brook and NYC. After completing it, she is suddenly able to make her decision: Back to the Brook it is. When she tells her mom, Mrs. M tears up, which makes you go aww and isn’t too snarkable. Still, the reader knew all along what Stacey was going to do, so this wasn’t exactly a big revelation for any of us.
Stacey breaks the new to her dad about going back to Stoneybrook, and they both cry.
Again, a scene that isn’t very snark-worthy.
Chapter 12: Packing, crazy homeless lady, more baby-sitting, blah. Nothing much to see here, folks!
Chapter 13: MOVING DAY! Laine comes over with a New York breakfast, and apparently Connecticut bagels are like hockey pucks. What? Laine also considers Connecticut to be “the wilderness.” Uh, whatever. The Walkers come by with presents, collide with the moving men, and their kid keeps tripping and falling down. Yeah. The McGills have some final arguments over some household stuff, and then it’s time to go. Lots of goodbyes are exchanged, and Stacey gets into the fug station wagon for the long ride back to the Brook.
Chapter 14: Stacey opens a letter that Laine gave her, which contains half of the BFF necklace that Stacey will soon mail back to Laine when their BFFness comes to a screeching halt.
When they pull up to their new house, the whole BSC along with most of the kids they sit for are standing there in the yard. I don’t know about you, but I think I’d be more annoyed than happy to see a bunch of people standing there in my yard when all I really want to do is freaking unpack and get settled in. Of course, Jackie Rodowsky manages to fall over a box and bust open his lip. Sigh. We get it, the kid is just a constant swirling maelstrom of accidents and mishaps. But would it kill AMM to just have the kid stand there for once and not have something happen to him?
Chapter 15: Ah, the last chapter. Stacey is now firmly entrenched back into her role as BSCult treasurer and also as one of the most sophisticated girls in all of SMS. She sits for Charlotte again, races to a club meeting, and walks home with Mallory the Sturdy, because they’re neighbors now. She thinks about how she’s finally glad to be back, even though she’ll still always miss the city and her father. Give it some time, Stacey, because you’ll be sick of these girls soon enough. #83, anyone?
And that’s a wrap! This was my first snark, so please be kind. J