Ann and the Mary-Sue Mystery: The Authorized Bio-Snark, Part 2

[alula_auburn]

Woohoo!  Thanks for your warm reception of part one.  I was kind of worried it would all fall flat.  So, without further ado. . .

Chapter 7: Adventures in Baby-Sitting

Sadly, there will be no blues music or 1987 Vincent D’Onoforio.

Comments

[rufinia]

I had $5 on her favorite movie being The Parent Trap. I'm disappointed.

[glitterberrys]

I'm sure it's in her top five. Or she just had a huge crush on Hayley Mills.

[alula_auburn]

I hadn't even realized, but I'm amazed she hasn't been name-checked in the book yet! Maybe it's denial. . .

[aceattorneysho]

I got worried for a second because I though I was Ann (boring and loves Christmas) but then I realized I couldn't stand that level of babysitting

[alula_auburn]

So either she didn't think kids could understand that mysteries can show us how people think and what they do when confronted with their misdeeds OR she just didn't quite understand what makes things like mysteries so compelling.

I think both of those things could be true, lol. In a weird way, I find it kind of fascinating about the series--that she so often writes ridiculously "sophisticated" thirteen-year-olds in terms of autonomy, but places them in this no-real-consequences, mildly cartoon-y setting without a lot of depth. Like, in theory thirteen-year-olds can watch small children unsupervised for hours (or days!) at a time, and solve "mysteries" like "hey, treating your twins like they have no individual personalities makes them feel bad!" but not really deal with good people doing bad things (or vice versa), or snapping under pressure, or a problem that can't be solved in 15 short chapters.

[aceattorneysho]

Exactly. Part of me also thinks it could have been Scholastic trying to dumb things down to be more wish-fulfillment fantasies. The kids do everything, the adults are all dumb, and voila. It's kind of that thing where the company doesn't get that kids are smarter than they think and could handle learning something that isn't on some educational list OR doesn't want to get sued by parents who think that learning about how the world works will ruin their child. I mean, I'm genuinely interested in hearing what Ann or the ghostwriters have to say. On the one hand they could have been clueless (except Lerangis. For some reason I always think he was trying to subvert everything and I don't know why.) but on the other hand I could see how Scholastic could have been dictating what level of drama should happen

[kakeochi_umai]

Um, I’m pretty sure a teenage girl did not “take full responsibility” for her neighbor’s kids anywhere but in her own mind. What a weird thing to say, although very apt for the BSC-verse.
THIS. And if the teenage neighbour was taking full care of the kids, that sounds like a case for Social Services.

“Ann was brave. She never even cried.” Which, frankly, kind of rubs me the wrong way, and bugged me as a kid, too.
It immediately makes me think of her portrayal of the girl who cried over a painful injury in Claudia and the Bad Joke, and...just fuck off, Ann.

Kids, it’s not a source of shame if you cry because you’re scared or in pain at the hospital.
THIS. It's bad enough that adult books usually seem to portray the sick or injured character as a perpetually smiling angel, telling kids that it's babyish to cry is really shitty. Guess what, authors? If I get sick or injured, in addition to making my snazzy no-cult-plays sign, I WILL cry if I'm in pain or frustrated or depressed or yes, scared. And I am 28.

a nurse honest-to-God

[glitterberrys]

Seriously. I was hospitalized overnight when I was 24 and I cried. Mostly out of exhaustion, because I'd been that kind of sick where you can't freaking sleep, and, well, ERs are not restful and they wouldn't fucking let me leave but couldn't admit me until like 2 am...but still, shut up, Ann.

She really is Mary Anne. "Sensitive" to the max.

[alula_auburn]

I'm really glad people didn't think I was being, er, over-sensitive on the hospital stuff.

Hey! Maybe the reason I'm introverted is because I never got to fly halfway across the world when I was a kid!

Yes, if only they had raised you properly to charge manicures to their cruise ship cabin, you could have been as awesome as Karen! Or as "laid-back" as Dawn!

(wonders if there's some kind of BSC algorithim for frequent-flier miles producing insufferability. One of many reasons I suppose we should be glad Claudia never made it to Japan. Can you even imagine!?!)

[glitterberrys]

If I went anywhere in Europe it'd be to HillTop Farm, so I can't hate on that, but damn, AMM is sure impressed with herself. Also, wow, she really is Mary Anne. I can be pretty passive aggressive, but...she just wins that one.

I don't know how I never realized that Sea City was supposed to be Wildwood - I've never been there but a favorite blog of mine's author pretty much spent every childhood summer there and has written about it at length. It seems obvious now! I've been wanting to go for a while, but now I'm going to be looking for that damn purple cow when I do...

[author_by_night]

Okay, you can't mention ice cream as being wild twice without it meaning something else. I'm not saying she did drugs or anything, but... if you don't want to tell your eight year old readers you got drunk a lot, just don't insert that paragraph. Or say you went to a lot of parties, your older readers will get it and your younger readers will remain oblivious.

AMM used Seinfeld as an inspiration? I find that... incredibly hard to believe, given their disbelief in aesops and stuff. Then again, the way Kristy treats people... I'm not sure Jerry or Elaine would disapprove. I can see Full House, though.

I always assumed Sea City was supposed to be Atlantic City or Cape May.

[dragonz_flame]

In Florence my boyfriend and I got drunk from gelato. It was July, so really, really hot - especially with those stone walls, it turned the city into a slow-bake oven - and so we decided to get ice cream. What we didn't realise was that one of the flavours we chose had significant amounts of booze in it. To this day, we still talk about the 'spiked gelato'.

Seinfeld as inspiration? Will Stacey ever find a guy that's sponge worthy? Is Abby Kristy's Newman? ("Hello...Abby.")

[cassandraclue]

honestly, i can totally see Ann not getting drunk in college so it didn't really ever cross my mind that it was a euphenism.