Dawn Saves The Planet: Chapter 8-9
So Captain Dawn has spent a week single-handedly organising a march for Lesbians Against Drunk Driving planning a recycling program for the 'Brook, to be based at SMS. She goes to Speedy with her idea, and is suprised when Speedy says that they need to talk to the deputy principal first. Because the deputy principal doesn't have any say in what goes on at the school he helps run (incidentally, do we ever hear anything about the principal? I don't think I've ever heard him/her mentioned.)
Dawn has to do a presentation to him, but Speedy's briefed him beforehand and he's already basically sold on the idea - on the proviso that Dawn can prove that enough students give a shit for it to work. Dawn immediately zooms off to make badges with her face on and cupcakes with "Pick Flick" written in icing on the top...I mean, coerce the Cult into helping her make posters and propagandise the student body of SMS.
Dawn's first victim is Erica Blumberg, a non-Cultster who pops up every time the ghosties need to mention a regular student. She is apparently carrying TOAST to school - the fuck? I can understand shovelling down breakfast as you walk out the door, but how the hell does she still have half of it when she gets to school? That is one sloooow eater. And isn't it all cold and yuck by now?
Erica is happy to pass on the word to all her friends. Dawn's excellent incentive:
Erica: *goes to throw empty can in the trash* (Ah HA! THAT'S why she brought her breakfast to school! It's an Environmental No-no contrivance!)
Dawn: WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!?!?!? ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR FUCKING MIND?!?!!??!
Erica: *jumps back from bin "as if a deadly snake were inside it"* (Which, given Dawn's massive overreaction, is not unreasonable.) What?
Dawn: DJGFDSJKGJAKDFGAEGHAREU ALUMINIUM CAN KSDHDKGJHKDFHGKJAGRUG RUBBISH BIN KDGYERJKHGBVEFGEGTJBVTEJKU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Erica: *looks around for somewhere to put it, which is basically gesture-ese for "So where can I put it if I can't put it in the bin?"*
Now, if I was Dawn (and if I ever do turn into her, please slap me hard) I would have told her to put it in her bag, take it home, and take it to the recycling centre when it gets set up. That's what I do with my rubbish when I can't find a bin. But she prefers to just stand there thinking condescending thoughts instead. Because it's not like she's counting on Erica to help her out with her big project or anything. In the end MA comes to her rescue and takes the can off her. Which is nice of her, but the message here is basically:
Erica: So if the bin is TEH EVILZ, where is the right place?
MA: Uhhhh...there isn't one?
Yeah. Erica thanks MA for rescuing her from further torture at the hands of Greenzilla and fucks off. MA yells at Dawn for being a bitch and Dawn spouts another statistic about how evil people like Erica are killing the earth and how MA is an ENABLER!!! AN ENABLER, I SAY!!!!!!!!! MA awesomely stands her ground and tells Greenzilla to campaign by herself, adding that if she keeps being a bitch people, you know, aren't going to want to help her out.
In a rare show of continuity from #40, Dawn's locker is next to Cheatie McCheaterson's. Because that continuity was too good to be true, no mention is made of Cheatie cheating off Claudia and telling the teacher it was Claudia; in fact Dawn even says "Her locker is next to mine, and it's a pigsty (which is a big surprise, since she is always so perfect-looking.)" OK, first of all, would Claud approve of you mentioning that Cheatie is a hottie but not mentioning that she is a big fat cheater who dropped your fellow Cultster in the shit? Second, the fact that you are calling Cheatie a hottie in the first place snarks itself. And third, messiness = fugliness? Would your mother and Kristy approve of that statement?
Cheatie is fucking AWESOME here. I have to transcribe this.
Greenzilla: Well, next time you get a hamburger, tell them to just put it in a paper bag. Styrofoam is terrible for the environment (And now I have Asshole by Denis Leary stuck in my head. Cheers, Dawn.)
Cheatie ("sarcastically", we are told): I'm sure that two boxes are not going to hurt anybody.
Greenzilla: That's permanent garbage. Don't you understand? It'll never go away. Those two containers will probably float around in the ocean and kill innocent sea turtles.
Cheatie: Big deal.
Greenzilla ("practically shouting"): It is a very big deal. Do you know that the chemicals used to make Styrofoam are ruining the ozone layer? That causes the greenhouse effect, which is why the Northeast is having a drought right now and why Texas is getting waterlogged. (Um, science isn't my best area, but I thought the greenhouse effect caused the earth to gradually grow warmer, not odd rainfall patterns.)
Cheatie: So tell them to get an umbrella. (This is as they walk into homeroom, so Dawn must have been following her and lecturing her.)
Other students in their homeroom: *laugh*
Greenzilla: *can't fire back at her because the bell's just rung*
Oh HELL yeah! Pwned, Dawn! Unfortunately, this just convinces Greenzilla that she needs to keep doing this.
Chapter 9 sees us back at CSEC. Claudia has brought Charlotte Johansen over, and, hilariously, is all out of breath because Charlotte insisted on running there. Hahahaha. Methinks Claudia's junk food habit is having an effect after all.
OH MY GOD, THE WORLD AS I KNOW IT HAS COME TO AN END. Claudia and Stacey gossip at the beginning of CSEC, which causes Greenzilla to chuck an eco-spaz. The topic of this gossip is caferia hijinks (which are actually quite amusing) and the reason they need to gossip about it is because...Claudia was EATING LUNCH WITH OTHER FRIENDS!!! On the OTHER SIDE OF THE CAFETERIA!!!! Jahnna and Malcolm, it seems, will do anything for a plot contrivance, even if it means breaking one of the sacred laws of the Baby-sitters Cult.
They give the kidlings their assignments for the Green Fair (because of course it's not enough to just have a class, they have to hold an event for the whole neighbourhood too) and Dawn totally undermines Stacey, talking over the top of her whenever she goes to say anything and generally being obnoxious. Claudia, amazingly, is completely oblivious to this, despite Stacey being, you know, her best friend. So Claudia goes home all "La la la, CSEC is wonderful, kids care, la la la" and is actually genuinely surprised when Stacey calls her to rant. She says that if she didn't feel so committed to the kids (because if you're not all about spending your free time with the neighbourhood's kidlings then you are a bad, bad Cultster and possibly a Suppressive Person. And interestingly there is no mention of the far more practical concern that they were supposed to hand in an outline of their project at the beginning, so there'd probably be at least a little red tape to deal with at school) she'd tell Greenzilla to shove it up her eco-friendly ass and do a project by herself. She says that if Dawn acts like a bitch for much longer (Dawn has ALWAYS been a bitch! You just didn't notice it before!) it's going to ruin their friendship.
Coming up next: The bitch gets smacked down, and we discover that Dawn is actually a really sucky activist.
Dawn has to do a presentation to him, but Speedy's briefed him beforehand and he's already basically sold on the idea - on the proviso that Dawn can prove that enough students give a shit for it to work. Dawn immediately zooms off to make badges with her face on and cupcakes with "Pick Flick" written in icing on the top...I mean, coerce the Cult into helping her make posters and propagandise the student body of SMS.
Dawn's first victim is Erica Blumberg, a non-Cultster who pops up every time the ghosties need to mention a regular student. She is apparently carrying TOAST to school - the fuck? I can understand shovelling down breakfast as you walk out the door, but how the hell does she still have half of it when she gets to school? That is one sloooow eater. And isn't it all cold and yuck by now?
Erica is happy to pass on the word to all her friends. Dawn's excellent incentive:
Erica: *goes to throw empty can in the trash* (Ah HA! THAT'S why she brought her breakfast to school! It's an Environmental No-no contrivance!)
Dawn: WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!?!?!? ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR FUCKING MIND?!?!!??!
Erica: *jumps back from bin "as if a deadly snake were inside it"* (Which, given Dawn's massive overreaction, is not unreasonable.) What?
Dawn: DJGFDSJKGJAKDFGAEGHAREU ALUMINIUM CAN KSDHDKGJHKDFHGKJAGRUG RUBBISH BIN KDGYERJKHGBVEFGEGTJBVTEJKU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Erica: *looks around for somewhere to put it, which is basically gesture-ese for "So where can I put it if I can't put it in the bin?"*
Now, if I was Dawn (and if I ever do turn into her, please slap me hard) I would have told her to put it in her bag, take it home, and take it to the recycling centre when it gets set up. That's what I do with my rubbish when I can't find a bin. But she prefers to just stand there thinking condescending thoughts instead. Because it's not like she's counting on Erica to help her out with her big project or anything. In the end MA comes to her rescue and takes the can off her. Which is nice of her, but the message here is basically:
Erica: So if the bin is TEH EVILZ, where is the right place?
MA: Uhhhh...there isn't one?
Yeah. Erica thanks MA for rescuing her from further torture at the hands of Greenzilla and fucks off. MA yells at Dawn for being a bitch and Dawn spouts another statistic about how evil people like Erica are killing the earth and how MA is an ENABLER!!! AN ENABLER, I SAY!!!!!!!!! MA awesomely stands her ground and tells Greenzilla to campaign by herself, adding that if she keeps being a bitch people, you know, aren't going to want to help her out.
In a rare show of continuity from #40, Dawn's locker is next to Cheatie McCheaterson's. Because that continuity was too good to be true, no mention is made of Cheatie cheating off Claudia and telling the teacher it was Claudia; in fact Dawn even says "Her locker is next to mine, and it's a pigsty (which is a big surprise, since she is always so perfect-looking.)" OK, first of all, would Claud approve of you mentioning that Cheatie is a hottie but not mentioning that she is a big fat cheater who dropped your fellow Cultster in the shit? Second, the fact that you are calling Cheatie a hottie in the first place snarks itself. And third, messiness = fugliness? Would your mother and Kristy approve of that statement?
Cheatie is fucking AWESOME here. I have to transcribe this.
Greenzilla: Well, next time you get a hamburger, tell them to just put it in a paper bag. Styrofoam is terrible for the environment (And now I have Asshole by Denis Leary stuck in my head. Cheers, Dawn.)
Cheatie ("sarcastically", we are told): I'm sure that two boxes are not going to hurt anybody.
Greenzilla: That's permanent garbage. Don't you understand? It'll never go away. Those two containers will probably float around in the ocean and kill innocent sea turtles.
Cheatie: Big deal.
Greenzilla ("practically shouting"): It is a very big deal. Do you know that the chemicals used to make Styrofoam are ruining the ozone layer? That causes the greenhouse effect, which is why the Northeast is having a drought right now and why Texas is getting waterlogged. (Um, science isn't my best area, but I thought the greenhouse effect caused the earth to gradually grow warmer, not odd rainfall patterns.)
Cheatie: So tell them to get an umbrella. (This is as they walk into homeroom, so Dawn must have been following her and lecturing her.)
Other students in their homeroom: *laugh*
Greenzilla: *can't fire back at her because the bell's just rung*
Oh HELL yeah! Pwned, Dawn! Unfortunately, this just convinces Greenzilla that she needs to keep doing this.
Chapter 9 sees us back at CSEC. Claudia has brought Charlotte Johansen over, and, hilariously, is all out of breath because Charlotte insisted on running there. Hahahaha. Methinks Claudia's junk food habit is having an effect after all.
OH MY GOD, THE WORLD AS I KNOW IT HAS COME TO AN END. Claudia and Stacey gossip at the beginning of CSEC, which causes Greenzilla to chuck an eco-spaz. The topic of this gossip is caferia hijinks (which are actually quite amusing) and the reason they need to gossip about it is because...Claudia was EATING LUNCH WITH OTHER FRIENDS!!! On the OTHER SIDE OF THE CAFETERIA!!!! Jahnna and Malcolm, it seems, will do anything for a plot contrivance, even if it means breaking one of the sacred laws of the Baby-sitters Cult.
They give the kidlings their assignments for the Green Fair (because of course it's not enough to just have a class, they have to hold an event for the whole neighbourhood too) and Dawn totally undermines Stacey, talking over the top of her whenever she goes to say anything and generally being obnoxious. Claudia, amazingly, is completely oblivious to this, despite Stacey being, you know, her best friend. So Claudia goes home all "La la la, CSEC is wonderful, kids care, la la la" and is actually genuinely surprised when Stacey calls her to rant. She says that if she didn't feel so committed to the kids (because if you're not all about spending your free time with the neighbourhood's kidlings then you are a bad, bad Cultster and possibly a Suppressive Person. And interestingly there is no mention of the far more practical concern that they were supposed to hand in an outline of their project at the beginning, so there'd probably be at least a little red tape to deal with at school) she'd tell Greenzilla to shove it up her eco-friendly ass and do a project by herself. She says that if Dawn acts like a bitch for much longer (Dawn has ALWAYS been a bitch! You just didn't notice it before!) it's going to ruin their friendship.
Coming up next: The bitch gets smacked down, and we discover that Dawn is actually a really sucky activist.