#57 Dawn Saves The Planet: Chapter 6
We finally get what we came here for: Dawn being an obnoxious, preachy bitch in a number of highly contrived scenarios.
The chapter opens at Claudia's house pre-Cult meeting. Dawn has been doing some research on recycling in the 'Brook and discovered that their system sucks. Which seems kind of realistic, because this book was written in 1992 and I remember NZ starting an (almost) lazy-proof nationwide recycling system around then. Dawn is so hyped up that she is the first Cult member to arrive at Chez Kishi. Claudia is making dough earrings in the oven. She pulls out a bag of candies and Dawn is horrified. Are they crawling with roaches? Was there a warning on the news about them being tainted with bug poison? WORSE! They are INDIVIDUALLY WRAPPED!!!! (Incidentally, I am currently eating Hershey's Cherry Cordial Kisses, which are individually wrapped. Dawn would have a fit.)
Dawn points this out to Claud, who is like, "Isn't that great?" My ass. There is no way in hell that someone who eats as much candy as Claudia would find individual wrappings "great". For starters, you have to unwrap them every time you want to eat one, thereby delaying your eating pleasure. Second, the wrappers can get everywhere. I was eating individually wrapped chewy sweets on a plane during the holidays, and the fucking wrappers kept falling out of my seat pocket and onto the floor. I even found some on my seat when I got up to go to the loo. I swear to God the fucking things were breeding. Which is annoying enough at the best of times, but Claudia's candy habits are supposedly a secret from her parents, so she not only has more packaging to clean up and smuggle out of the house, she also has to worry about whether she'll miss one and have her parents discover it (assuming they don't already know.)
Dawn, naturally, throws a hissy fit. Claudia is actually willing to consider what Dawn is telling her, but Dawn has to go that one step too far, which just causes Claudia to take the piss out of her.
Dawn manages to change the subject of every conversation to the environment. "Today's lunch was so gross." "But what was worse was the fact that they used Styrofoam cups." "The Rodowskys' dog can bark to the tune of Home On The Range" "Do they put the contents of his pooper scooper in the garbage? Because they could be using it as fertiliser." "Everyone...um, look at this." "GASP! Stacey!! That home pregnancy test is made of PLASTIC!!! Do you know how BAD plastic is for the earth?!" (Incidentally, every book in the series of English textbooks they're phasing in at my school has a chapter about something that's good for the earth. I'm trying to decide whether they were written by Dawn, or whether whoever wrote it is just entirely too amused at the fact that the Japanese accent makes it sound like "good for the ass".)
Jessi has special classes with a top dancer from New York on Monday, Wednesday and Friday. Of course she can make it to meetings afterwards, which implies that said top dancer is coming to the 'Brook, rather than Jessi going to New York or to a bigger city in Connecticut. My ass.
Dawn daydreams about her Big Plan during the Cult meeting. Is that allowed? Apparently it is, because K. Ron Hubbard doesn't yell at her for thinking about something other than the kids of Stoneybrook.
Dawn tells everyone about her big plan to revamp the 'Brook's recycling system, and flips out at Claudia for having a Coke can in her wastepaper basket. Is she allowed to drink Coke in her room? Or at all? Isn't Coke just as bad for you as candy?
Ooh! Contrived Environmental No-no #2! (#3 if you count the Kishis letting Claudia drink Coke.) Mary Anne apparently only writes on one side of the paper in the record book. The fuck? Who uses a notebook and only uses half the pages? That's not just a waste of paper, it's a waste of money (which would surely come out of club dues, no?) Not to mention totally cockeyed. Mary Anne is embarrassed about being yelled at in front of the others, though amazingly she doesn't cry.
The chapter ends with Claudia taking the piss out of Dawn, and Dawn realising that she sounds like an eco-Nazi, but figuring it's the only way she can make these heathens care about the environment.
Coming up next: The Pike kids are eco-Nazis. And Mal and Jessi are party poopers, but we knew that already. M&J also have a very special treat for
3_foot_6.
The chapter opens at Claudia's house pre-Cult meeting. Dawn has been doing some research on recycling in the 'Brook and discovered that their system sucks. Which seems kind of realistic, because this book was written in 1992 and I remember NZ starting an (almost) lazy-proof nationwide recycling system around then. Dawn is so hyped up that she is the first Cult member to arrive at Chez Kishi. Claudia is making dough earrings in the oven. She pulls out a bag of candies and Dawn is horrified. Are they crawling with roaches? Was there a warning on the news about them being tainted with bug poison? WORSE! They are INDIVIDUALLY WRAPPED!!!! (Incidentally, I am currently eating Hershey's Cherry Cordial Kisses, which are individually wrapped. Dawn would have a fit.)
Dawn points this out to Claud, who is like, "Isn't that great?" My ass. There is no way in hell that someone who eats as much candy as Claudia would find individual wrappings "great". For starters, you have to unwrap them every time you want to eat one, thereby delaying your eating pleasure. Second, the wrappers can get everywhere. I was eating individually wrapped chewy sweets on a plane during the holidays, and the fucking wrappers kept falling out of my seat pocket and onto the floor. I even found some on my seat when I got up to go to the loo. I swear to God the fucking things were breeding. Which is annoying enough at the best of times, but Claudia's candy habits are supposedly a secret from her parents, so she not only has more packaging to clean up and smuggle out of the house, she also has to worry about whether she'll miss one and have her parents discover it (assuming they don't already know.)
Dawn, naturally, throws a hissy fit. Claudia is actually willing to consider what Dawn is telling her, but Dawn has to go that one step too far, which just causes Claudia to take the piss out of her.
Dawn manages to change the subject of every conversation to the environment. "Today's lunch was so gross." "But what was worse was the fact that they used Styrofoam cups." "The Rodowskys' dog can bark to the tune of Home On The Range" "Do they put the contents of his pooper scooper in the garbage? Because they could be using it as fertiliser." "Everyone...um, look at this." "GASP! Stacey!! That home pregnancy test is made of PLASTIC!!! Do you know how BAD plastic is for the earth?!" (Incidentally, every book in the series of English textbooks they're phasing in at my school has a chapter about something that's good for the earth. I'm trying to decide whether they were written by Dawn, or whether whoever wrote it is just entirely too amused at the fact that the Japanese accent makes it sound like "good for the ass".)
Jessi has special classes with a top dancer from New York on Monday, Wednesday and Friday. Of course she can make it to meetings afterwards, which implies that said top dancer is coming to the 'Brook, rather than Jessi going to New York or to a bigger city in Connecticut. My ass.
Dawn daydreams about her Big Plan during the Cult meeting. Is that allowed? Apparently it is, because K. Ron Hubbard doesn't yell at her for thinking about something other than the kids of Stoneybrook.
Dawn tells everyone about her big plan to revamp the 'Brook's recycling system, and flips out at Claudia for having a Coke can in her wastepaper basket. Is she allowed to drink Coke in her room? Or at all? Isn't Coke just as bad for you as candy?
Ooh! Contrived Environmental No-no #2! (#3 if you count the Kishis letting Claudia drink Coke.) Mary Anne apparently only writes on one side of the paper in the record book. The fuck? Who uses a notebook and only uses half the pages? That's not just a waste of paper, it's a waste of money (which would surely come out of club dues, no?) Not to mention totally cockeyed. Mary Anne is embarrassed about being yelled at in front of the others, though amazingly she doesn't cry.
The chapter ends with Claudia taking the piss out of Dawn, and Dawn realising that she sounds like an eco-Nazi, but figuring it's the only way she can make these heathens care about the environment.
Coming up next: The Pike kids are eco-Nazis. And Mal and Jessi are party poopers, but we knew that already. M&J also have a very special treat for
3_foot_6.