Snowbound! Part 2!
Well, I got up early which was surprising as I was grinding my blacksmith skills all night and said hey! Let's snark! It's really weird reading about a big snow storm while you just turned your fan up because you were sweating. I get the feeling when I move to Seattle, I'm gonna be in the surprise of my life. I'm picturing Jack at the end of The Shining. But anything has to be better than this. Well, let's go!
Part 1!
-Song of the Day!-
Chapter 6!-Kristy!
Since K. Ron has nothing to do that Wednesday, what with the BSC meeting canceled and all, she decides to invite Bart over to watch some movies and have dinner. And because she's K. Ron, she thinks thinking this up is a 'brilliant' idea. 'Man! I've been drinking coffee all day and my bladder is full!' 'Why not use the bathroom?!' 'Brilliant!' Someone really needs to hit Kristy with the reality stick. There's some filler about their Christmas decorations and she says they bought their tree but haven't put it up. This always confused me because when we bought trees, we always decorated it the same night we got it. Where are they keeping it?
Since Charlie is the saddest teenager in the 'Brook, he 'volunteers' to drive Kristy to the video store. Yeah, because K. Ron has a picture of him kissing the mouth of a Cover Girl ad while quietly weeping, he 'volunteered'. She takes forever picking out movies but finally decides on Uncle Buck and Back to the Future. What?! Not Gone with the Wind or Top Hat?! Colour me surprised!
Bart comes over and the kids are annoying and Kristy is embarrassed and I feel my eyes try to retreat into my skull from boredom. She says at dinner they eat in the dining room with the lights dimmed and candles lit. Watson and Elizabeth, what're you smoking?! Out of all your kids, you think K. Ron the Everlasting is the one who'd want a romantic dinner with someone she can't even admit is her boyfriend? The kids are annoying some more and Kristy is embarrassed some more and Karen yells that it's snowing.
Chapter 7!-Jessi!
This is another nothing interesting happens chapter. Jessi is at her ballet school practicing for her role in The Nutcracker. She strokes her ego a bit about how she's been in The Nutcracker so many times before. Because of course she has. She talks a little about Quint and how he's coming over for the dance. He's so special because he goes to Julliard and gave her her first kiss. I pointed this out elsewhere but I think Mal is the only BSC member to never get kissed. She was even adamantly against the idea of her being kissed when she got mono. Say it with me now, 'Ann hates Mal!'
At the rehearsal, the little kids are having trouble paying attention because they're thinking about snow. Jessi nudges one and tells her to pay attention. She also tells her there's 'not a chance' of snow.
Jessi. Thinks there's 'not a chance'. Of snow. In winter. In the Northeast. Jessi? Stop huffing the community paint thinner. I know you like the ego boost it gives you but please, honey, it's not doing you any good. Before Mme Noelle (who I now call Meme Noelle) can ream her a new one, Mme Duprès comes in and talks to her privately. Mme Noelle announces that it is in fact snowing (don't you feel stupid now, Jessi?) and that some of the parents called saying they may be late picking them up. Okay, bullshit. When I was in dance class, all the parents stuck around to watch. They should be there acting catty towards any kid except theirs.
The rehearsal comes to an end and no parents show up. They keep calling and saying they're stuck and are trying to make it. Now, I'm curious about something. Doesn't Jessi's dad work in Stamford? Did he really drive home without even trying to get Jessi? Because I know he doesn't show up till the next day. But the fact that her dad doesn't love her isn't on Jessi's mind, Quint coming on the train is.
Chapter 8!-Mary Anne!
Okay, so MA is staying at the Pikes and she says she can hear Ma and Pa whispering downstairs....wtf? What is with Ann and thinking people can hear things they clearly shouldn't be able to?! I live between two noisy people and I can't make out what they say in their rooms when they talk regularly. I've lived in two storey houses and you cannot hear a whispered conversation from a whole 'nother floor! Just like you can't hear someone spraying perfume from down the hall and behind a closed door! Jesus, Ann! Logic!
Once Ma and Pa leave, MA lays awake till all the Pike kids alarms go off playing do-wop music, because that's what kids were listening to in the 90s! Also when Mal wakes up she says 'Do-wah' and I cringe really hard in second-hand embarrassment. But not as hard as I do when Nicky starts dancing around singing into a hair brush. The Pike family losers everyone! Giving snarkers everywhere a reason to want to give swirlies to fictional characters since '86!
The rest of the chapter is just the little apes going to school and whining about snow. Then it does snow and there's some Wacky Pike Family Antics ®! Oh, hurr hurr hurr! I know I said I hate Dawn's chapters in this, but the Pike ones are no picnic either. I think it's because I hate anytime a triplet opens their mouth. It's kinda funny that they're friends with Jeff and they're all little shitheads.
Chapter 9!-Dawn!
Well, speak of the skin-damaged devil! In a totally shocking turn, Dawn says California had it's share of 'cold, damp weather'! Oho fucking really?! Because I seem to recall something about you going on about 80° Christmases and no jackets in the winter and other bullcrap written by someone who's never set foot in Southern California. Dawn says she knows Sharon is nervous because she's dusting. Yes, but does she know what she's doing? I mean, it's not like dusting is something a monkey on reefer can do. It's moving a rag. Over things!
When it is time to get Jeff, it is snowing some which makes Sharon a nervous wreak. Richard offers to drive with them but Sharon says they'll be fine. But Sharon isn't fine because when the car slips and bumps a mailbox, she says 'Fuck'. I'm guessing it's fuck. Dawn just says she only heard that word in movies Sharon doesn't know she watched. So, it could have been 'Whore monger!' or 'Dick pie!' They slowly make their way to the airport. Dawn acts like a pain in the ass saying about how they're gonna be late and Jeff must be scared and other calming thoughts. Geeze, Sharon, just tell her to shut the Hell up. She's not helping. They finally make it to the airport and go running to Jeff's gate.
Chapter 10!-Stacey!
Maureen rushes Stacey through the mall...trying...to beat the snow? I don't know what the Hell she's doing. You already know it's snowing, stupid. They're shocked to see how much it's storming and Stacey thinks that Maureen will turn right around and wait out the storm in the mall. But that would have been a smart thing to do and we know how the people of Stoneybrook feel about that. Nope, she just plunges ahead and drives them off, never to be seen again. The end. Okay, that didn't happen. But a girl can dream.
On the highway, they almost rear end someone which makes Maureen brilliantly decide to take the back roads home. Because surely that'll work! I mean, it's not like there will be more snow due to zero cars driving on them and melting it! It's not like if something happens to them, there will be no one around to help them! It's not like the main roads are plowed first! It's not like your daughter is diabetic and should get home as soon as possible! You're really making some top notch decisions today, McGill! Shooting heroin between your toes with Sharon is really working out for you!
They continue to go down the road less traveled and the storm just gets worse. Proving that shooting up with Sharon and the Pikes is more important than her daughter's well-being, Maureen decides now is a good time to stop and wait out the storm. Because waiting it out at the mall where there's food and shelter was just not survivalist enough for her. So, of course they get stuck. And because Maureen is in a contest with the Pikes on 'Stupidest Parent in Stoneybrook' she's doesn't let Stacey work the gas while she tries to push them out the rut. So, she's just running back and forth between pushing the car and jumping in to work the gas. Jesus Christ. I can't make this stuff up, folks. That's the kinda stupid shit I expect out of my Sims. Like putting a chair in front of the fridge to keep moochers out. They just sit on the chair and complain about how hungry they are.
Part 1!
-Song of the Day!-
Chapter 6!-Kristy!
Since K. Ron has nothing to do that Wednesday, what with the BSC meeting canceled and all, she decides to invite Bart over to watch some movies and have dinner. And because she's K. Ron, she thinks thinking this up is a 'brilliant' idea. 'Man! I've been drinking coffee all day and my bladder is full!' 'Why not use the bathroom?!' 'Brilliant!' Someone really needs to hit Kristy with the reality stick. There's some filler about their Christmas decorations and she says they bought their tree but haven't put it up. This always confused me because when we bought trees, we always decorated it the same night we got it. Where are they keeping it?
Since Charlie is the saddest teenager in the 'Brook, he 'volunteers' to drive Kristy to the video store. Yeah, because K. Ron has a picture of him kissing the mouth of a Cover Girl ad while quietly weeping, he 'volunteered'. She takes forever picking out movies but finally decides on Uncle Buck and Back to the Future. What?! Not Gone with the Wind or Top Hat?! Colour me surprised!
Bart comes over and the kids are annoying and Kristy is embarrassed and I feel my eyes try to retreat into my skull from boredom. She says at dinner they eat in the dining room with the lights dimmed and candles lit. Watson and Elizabeth, what're you smoking?! Out of all your kids, you think K. Ron the Everlasting is the one who'd want a romantic dinner with someone she can't even admit is her boyfriend? The kids are annoying some more and Kristy is embarrassed some more and Karen yells that it's snowing.
Chapter 7!-Jessi!
This is another nothing interesting happens chapter. Jessi is at her ballet school practicing for her role in The Nutcracker. She strokes her ego a bit about how she's been in The Nutcracker so many times before. Because of course she has. She talks a little about Quint and how he's coming over for the dance. He's so special because he goes to Julliard and gave her her first kiss. I pointed this out elsewhere but I think Mal is the only BSC member to never get kissed. She was even adamantly against the idea of her being kissed when she got mono. Say it with me now, 'Ann hates Mal!'
At the rehearsal, the little kids are having trouble paying attention because they're thinking about snow. Jessi nudges one and tells her to pay attention. She also tells her there's 'not a chance' of snow.
Jessi. Thinks there's 'not a chance'. Of snow. In winter. In the Northeast. Jessi? Stop huffing the community paint thinner. I know you like the ego boost it gives you but please, honey, it's not doing you any good. Before Mme Noelle (who I now call Meme Noelle) can ream her a new one, Mme Duprès comes in and talks to her privately. Mme Noelle announces that it is in fact snowing (don't you feel stupid now, Jessi?) and that some of the parents called saying they may be late picking them up. Okay, bullshit. When I was in dance class, all the parents stuck around to watch. They should be there acting catty towards any kid except theirs.
The rehearsal comes to an end and no parents show up. They keep calling and saying they're stuck and are trying to make it. Now, I'm curious about something. Doesn't Jessi's dad work in Stamford? Did he really drive home without even trying to get Jessi? Because I know he doesn't show up till the next day. But the fact that her dad doesn't love her isn't on Jessi's mind, Quint coming on the train is.
Chapter 8!-Mary Anne!
Okay, so MA is staying at the Pikes and she says she can hear Ma and Pa whispering downstairs....wtf? What is with Ann and thinking people can hear things they clearly shouldn't be able to?! I live between two noisy people and I can't make out what they say in their rooms when they talk regularly. I've lived in two storey houses and you cannot hear a whispered conversation from a whole 'nother floor! Just like you can't hear someone spraying perfume from down the hall and behind a closed door! Jesus, Ann! Logic!
Once Ma and Pa leave, MA lays awake till all the Pike kids alarms go off playing do-wop music, because that's what kids were listening to in the 90s! Also when Mal wakes up she says 'Do-wah' and I cringe really hard in second-hand embarrassment. But not as hard as I do when Nicky starts dancing around singing into a hair brush. The Pike family losers everyone! Giving snarkers everywhere a reason to want to give swirlies to fictional characters since '86!
The rest of the chapter is just the little apes going to school and whining about snow. Then it does snow and there's some Wacky Pike Family Antics ®! Oh, hurr hurr hurr! I know I said I hate Dawn's chapters in this, but the Pike ones are no picnic either. I think it's because I hate anytime a triplet opens their mouth. It's kinda funny that they're friends with Jeff and they're all little shitheads.
Chapter 9!-Dawn!
Well, speak of the skin-damaged devil! In a totally shocking turn, Dawn says California had it's share of 'cold, damp weather'! Oho fucking really?! Because I seem to recall something about you going on about 80° Christmases and no jackets in the winter and other bullcrap written by someone who's never set foot in Southern California. Dawn says she knows Sharon is nervous because she's dusting. Yes, but does she know what she's doing? I mean, it's not like dusting is something a monkey on reefer can do. It's moving a rag. Over things!
When it is time to get Jeff, it is snowing some which makes Sharon a nervous wreak. Richard offers to drive with them but Sharon says they'll be fine. But Sharon isn't fine because when the car slips and bumps a mailbox, she says 'Fuck'. I'm guessing it's fuck. Dawn just says she only heard that word in movies Sharon doesn't know she watched. So, it could have been 'Whore monger!' or 'Dick pie!' They slowly make their way to the airport. Dawn acts like a pain in the ass saying about how they're gonna be late and Jeff must be scared and other calming thoughts. Geeze, Sharon, just tell her to shut the Hell up. She's not helping. They finally make it to the airport and go running to Jeff's gate.
Chapter 10!-Stacey!
Maureen rushes Stacey through the mall...trying...to beat the snow? I don't know what the Hell she's doing. You already know it's snowing, stupid. They're shocked to see how much it's storming and Stacey thinks that Maureen will turn right around and wait out the storm in the mall. But that would have been a smart thing to do and we know how the people of Stoneybrook feel about that. Nope, she just plunges ahead and drives them off, never to be seen again. The end. Okay, that didn't happen. But a girl can dream.
On the highway, they almost rear end someone which makes Maureen brilliantly decide to take the back roads home. Because surely that'll work! I mean, it's not like there will be more snow due to zero cars driving on them and melting it! It's not like if something happens to them, there will be no one around to help them! It's not like the main roads are plowed first! It's not like your daughter is diabetic and should get home as soon as possible! You're really making some top notch decisions today, McGill! Shooting heroin between your toes with Sharon is really working out for you!
They continue to go down the road less traveled and the storm just gets worse. Proving that shooting up with Sharon and the Pikes is more important than her daughter's well-being, Maureen decides now is a good time to stop and wait out the storm. Because waiting it out at the mall where there's food and shelter was just not survivalist enough for her. So, of course they get stuck. And because Maureen is in a contest with the Pikes on 'Stupidest Parent in Stoneybrook' she's doesn't let Stacey work the gas while she tries to push them out the rut. So, she's just running back and forth between pushing the car and jumping in to work the gas. Jesus Christ. I can't make this stuff up, folks. That's the kinda stupid shit I expect out of my Sims. Like putting a chair in front of the fridge to keep moochers out. They just sit on the chair and complain about how hungry they are.