BSC #99 Stacey's Broken Heart, Chapters 1-8
This book has been snarked by others before, but not since last summer. Think of this as the 2013 edition?
I present to you... the cover (thanks, Dibbly Fresh):
I give Hodges a B for effort. This scene sort of happens in the book, but not really. Stacey's expression is all wrong. She looks all pissed off, while Robert looks dorky guilty, which -- at least in Stacey's case --shouldn't be the case until (SPOILER ALERT!) after Stacey returns home from New York. She actually does receive flowers from Robert (and even brings them with her to the train station) but that happens before her visit. It's like Hodges combined "before New York" and "after New York" for his cover photo. But he got the daisies and sunflowers right; I'll give him that.
Meanwhile, that floating picture of Honorary Member!Dawn above the 'B' block, with just enough space to separate her from the others, always makes it seem like she's... dead? or something. Like an angel floating over them? It looks weird to me. I'm not sure why.
I'm also not sure why Hodges drew the guy with the red jacket and porn 'stache (and the other guy gazing back at him) in such detail, whereas the girl with the Mallory-esque hair sitting down (behind Robert) only gets a blob for a face. Anyhow...
Chapter One: Much to my amazement, the book does NOT begin with dialogue. I know, right? I didn't think it was possible, but Suzanne mixes it up a little by starting things out with Stacey's inner monologue instead.
To be specific, Stacey's rude thought (that she's kind enough to share with us via narration) is: Oh no! Things were going so well, too. (too?) as she sees a girl with "dark brown hair and a wide smile" approaching her and Robert at what is apparently some tennis court. The girl is Andi Gentile, one of Stacey's ex "Bad Girl" friends (you know, the ones who keep flasks in their socks and take advantage of poor, innocent-yet-sophisticated baby-sitters. Not to be confused with Logan's Badd Boyz.)
Now, before I go any further, I just want to say that I was always a little weirded out by that name 'Andi Gentile'. That's because, in middle school, I knew two little BFFs, one of whom was named "Andi" and the other whose last name was none other than -- you guessed it -- "Gentile." I'm sure they grew up to be lovely people, but, boy, were they obnoxious little bitcas back then! (At least "Gentile" was; "Andi" might have been more of a follower). Like, if they went to SMS, undoubtedly these girls would've ran with Stacey's "bad" crowd.
Not only were these girls "mean girl" types, but their names (especially "Gentile") aren't exactly the most common ones around. If the girl with the "dark hair and wide smile" was named Jennifer Jones or something, I wouldn't have thought twice about it. However, even now, I'm usually caught off guard when I first see "Andi Gentile" printed in the pages of these masterpieces. How random of ANM Suzanne Weyn Lerangis whomever invented/named the Bad Girls (who did, anyway? Does Ann even know she has a character named Andi Gentile?) to come up with that, of all names.
(Suzanne Weyn = pen name for my 8th grade English teacher?)
Anyway. Stacey had been having this perfect end-of-summer day with Robert, playing tennis and eating sandwiches from a deli (Stoneybrook has delis?) until Andi walks over and starts flirting with Robert. Robert flirts right back; he even smiles at Andi with his mouth and with his eyes. Just moments earlier, he'd smiled at Stacey with his eyes... but didn't bother to take his tunafish sandwich out of his mouth. But the second Andi Gentile arrives, not only does Robert "gulp down" his tuna sandwich... he even wipes his mouth! Stacey doesn't like this; she doesn't want Robert smiling at Andi at all, even though she still "sort of likes" Andi.
To make matters worse, Sheila MacGregor turns up a moment later to play tennis with Andi, right in the middle of this supposedly hilarious story Andi is telling Robert -- all about how Jacqui Grant (the Alpha Bad Girl? wasn't she the one with the dyed red hair and nose ring?) snuck in and out of different theaters at a movie complex and made some poor Short Takes student usher chase after her. Stacey doesn't think the story is funny (she's right) but she fakely smiles, justifying it in her narration by noting that their laughter is "contagious." Stacey also notices that, contrary to Andi's "tennis whites", Sheila is dressed in a "tight purple unitard that showed off her perfect figure" (with a gratuitous parenthesed comment that "all Sheila's outfits show off her figure." Hmm, I thought Stacey didn't want Andi hanging around Robert, but maybe it's Sheila she doesn't want her around...?)
(This -- along with similar photos -- is what turned up when I google-imaged "purple unitard." Sexy! Hilariously, when I tried searching for "tight purple unitard", the only images to turn up were two scanned pictures from Baby-Sitters At Shadow Lake, and a picture of some faux Angelina Jolie... in a black unitard.)
Andi suggests playing a game of doubles and Robert leaps right up, but Stacey declines, saying she's "pooped." Sheila gets all pre-BSC Laine Cummings for a moment and says in a "sickeningly sweet" fake sympathetic voice, "Oh, that's right... your illness." But Stacey insists that it isn't her diabeetus; she's just tired. Robert "looks disappointed", but agrees to leave.
On their way back to Stacey's to play some computer game (on TV?), Robert wonders if they'll even be allowed out of the kitchen since Maureen isn't home. It seems Maureen's rule is that he can come inside if she's not there to supervise, but ONLY if he and Stacey stay in the kitchen. I don't remember if she had this not-particularly-sense-making rule in other books, but okay. (I still call B.S. on Stacey following it!)
On this particular day, Stacey's too busy worrying about whether or not she came across as jealous of Andi and Sheila back at the tennis courts to care much about Maureen's rules. She just shrugs off Robert's question and "doesn't think it will be a big deal" if they hang out in the living room (which, if true, makes me wonder all the more what the point of Maureen's rule is). Stacey promises to call her mom and check.
But before she can do so, New York City calls! Not just once, but TWICE! First, it's Stacey's dad, calling "just to chat." That workaholic? His job description must have been amended to read Communicate with daughter at least once a week. Stacey and Edward even make plans to go Rollerblading (capitalization = Suzanne's, though it could be proper for all I know) with Samantha, Edward McGill's trophy girlfriend. In Central Park, natch.
Then Mrs. Walker calls. (Who? That artist from Stacey's old apartment -- Henry and Grace's mom.) I thought she was supposed to be all shy and soft-spoken like her kids, but in this book, she for some reason has this exaggerated very! dramatic! manner of speaking. Mrs. Walker and her fellow artist/husband are preparing for a big gallery opening and "desperately" need a sitter every day for a week while they get ready. Mrs. Walker begs Stacey to take the job (and is rather pushy and presumptuous in the process). Fortunately for her, Stacey seems excited about the idea.
Unfortunately for Stacey, as soon as she hangs up and shares the news with Robert, he gets all sulky and is like, "A week? Do you know how long that is in teen years?" He reminds her that they don't have much time together before summer is over and it's time to go back to... 8th grade. Aww, cheer up, Robert, you'll get another "summer before" 8th grade in a few books or so.
Stacey knows this, and reassures Robert that it will be okay; she's even happy to hear him say, "I'll miss you." That must mean he luvs her -- right? Little does she know what the week will hold...
Chapter Two: Stacey and Robert play her little computer game for three and a half hours (yes, Maureen gave permission for them to hang out in the living room) until Stacey has to take off to go to her BSC meeting. President Kristy, you see, is "a real nut about being on time." Stacey makes it to Claudia's (no mention of what becomes of Robert after she takes off for the meeting) by 5:20, thus escaping the wrath of her master president.
What's more boring than three and a half straight hours of playing Marvel in the Mist in Stacey McGill's living room? The second chapter of a BSC book. This one is no exception. Other than perhaps Suzanne Weyn's blatant disregard for sun safety -- as evidenced by such statements as Stacey's "Even though I wore sunblock, I was tan. Cool. I know it's not supposed to be great for your skin, but my eyes always look bluer when I'm tan." (This after Abby and some of the other cult members admire her golden summer skin.) Why bother even mentioning sunblock, Suzanne? Who cares about a little skin cancer when Stacey's tan does such an effective job of making her eyes pop?
There's also a Claudia outfit:
"... an oversized purple top over turquoise leggings. With fabric paints she'd painted a beautiful unicorn on the top and then decorated the leggings with designs in the same colors. From her ears dangled earrings she'd made of papier-mâché in the shape of unicorn heads."
Well, Ellen Riteman would approve.
And, of course, the obligatory "Mallory is ugly" spiel:
"[Mallory] says she loathes the idea of having her author picture on the back of a book or on the jacket flap. That's because she doesn't like her looks very much. She has curly reddish-brown hair, glasses, braces, freckles, and a great smile. Okay, so it's not the standard beautiful-girl look, but Mal has an inner beauty and I think she really shines."
(And after you've known her for awhile, she starts to look pretty!)
So, Kristy asks about "any new club business" and Stacey informs her of the upcoming trip to New York. Instead of being happy for her friend, Kristy throws a fit (knocking off her trusty baseball cap in the process) and accuses Stacey of "always doing this", i.e. taking long-term jobs. SO WHAT, Kristy? She's baby-sitting, isn't she?!
It seems part of the reason Kristy is so upset is that she'll be away in Hawaii with her family the very same week that Stacey plans to go to New York. Of course, THAT'S okay -- but heaven forbid any of her subjects try to leave town for a few days in the summertime! Stacey meekly protests that it's only for a week. Mary Anne dares to speak up (probably because a New York City trip is at stake here; Stacey might come back and breathe some city air on her, after all) and points out that late August is "usually" their slowest time of year. Kristy huffs and puffs (if Lerangis wrote this, she would've "harrumphed").
Finally, Kristy's like, "Okay, Mary Anne, but I want YOU to act as President while I'm gone." Abby's all, "Hey, wait a minute! I'M the alternate officer! I get to be President!" Kristy's like, "Claudia?" and Abby's all "Meeeee!" and Kristy finally relents -- on the condition that Abby run the next meeting. If Kristy approves, Abby can be BSC President while she's away. Yay... I guess that means we get to read about another meeting. I'd rather read more about Marvel in the Mist.
Chapter Three: But right now, it's time to read about clothes! Sort of. Stacey wakes up thinking about ~*sophisticated*~ city people and how much more stylish they are than plain old suburban folk. (Trying to be fair, I guess, Stacey makes sure to note that not everyone in the city dresses great -- but that seems to be the general rule.) Stacey does NOT want to dress like she's "from the suburbs." She's especially worried about it this time around because she'll be in NYC for an entire week! (But shouldn't all of her clothes be ~*sophisticated*~? What does the length of your stay have to do with anything, Stacey?)
Stacey gets out of bed and starts packing right away, in an effort to avoid looking like she's from the suburbs. She studies her closet but "nothing looks right." Her mom walks in, and we're treated to a Maureen outfit:
"... beige pants with a matching sleeveless tunic top, and... a long scarf around her neck."
That's it? Meh. It would help if we knew more about the scarf.
Stacey realizes that the presence of a parent = a chance to hit said parent up for money. She laments that she has NOTHING to take with her to the Walkers'! Maureen calls B.S., but laughs and promises to take her shopping for school clothes the next day, when there's conveniently an "employees only" back-to-school sale at Bellair's. Stacey is satisfied.
Maureen leaves to get ready for work, and Stacey puts on that day's outfit, which vaguely sounds like something she threw together in attempt to say "See?" to Maureen:
"...khaki-green Bermuda shorts and a yellow cotton shirt with purple violets on it."
(The closest I could find in Google Images to Stacey's outfit... which isn't horrible but, besides sounding rather suburban, also sounds/looks like a cross between something Mary Anne would wear and something my grandmother would have worn. Except I think Grandma would have gone for pants, not Bermudas.)
Stacey decides to call Robert, whose sister answers the phone. She informs Stacey that Robert isn't home but that he left a note in his "horrible handwriting" (nameless sister's words -- Stacey luvs Robert's handwriting!) with a message for Stacey. The note says that Robert is out playing basketball with his guy friends and will be "gone all day." It's a bunch of crapola, but since Stacey doesn't know that yet, she thanks Nameless and hangs up, feeling temporarily at ease.
(Not that I care much about Robert, but why go the trouble of lying in a note and dragging your sister into it? Sociopath.)
Stacey calls Claudia next, but Claudia is busy making "watermelon sculptures", whatever those are. She half-@ssedly invites Stacey over to come watch her, adding that Stacey can eat the discarded watermelon. Stacey declines. (Can't say I blame her on that one.)
Stacey starts to think about Robert again and for some reason feels guilty that she doesn't care about leaving him behind when she goes to New York. She worries about whether the fact that she doesn't miss him means that she's "heartless." Which -- calm down, Stacey, you haven't even left Stoneybrook yet! She stalkerishly decides to go find him at the basketball court. I guess somehow being in his presence will make her feel better about not (yet?) missing him before she's even left town?
Whoops. Bad idea, Stace. It turns out that Robert... isn't at the basketball court. His friend Alex Zacharias is there and tells Stacey that he'd called Robert earlier and asked him to come play, but Robert said he "had plans." Alex just assumed the plans were with Stacey, but clearly...Robert lied. Stacey feels stunned. Whatever could this mean?!
Chapter Four: Oh, goody, it's time for the next BSC meeting. Which means it's time for Abby's trial run as Acting President of the BSC. Stupid Mary Anne has already forgotten about her supposed best friend Kristy's impending absence and does a "double take" (which is described in great detail, as if we're supposed to find it all cute and charming) at the sight of Abby sitting in Claudia's "Kristy's" director's chair. Kristy glowers.
Stacey, meanwhile, only scarcely notices all this because she's too busy worrying about Robert. He'd made up a story (to back up his bulls**t note) about playing at the "Community Courts" the day before with Marty 'The Bukeman' Bukowski, which is supposedly why he wasn't playing basketball with Alex Zacharias and his other "guy friends" at SMS. But Stacey is skeptical. To top everything off, Robert didn't even call her at ALL the previous day; she had to call him that morning to get his story!
Stacey manages to pay enough attention to the meeting to notice Abby's wacky antics, which include making fun of Kristy's Look and obsession with punctuality (while I applaud any rare occurrence where these girls find it within themselves to stand up to Kristy, Abby is far too over-the-top in her Kristy-snarking, and almost as annoying as Kristy herself). Abby also comes up with all these outlandish plans like cutting dues to every other week -- and only requiring writing in the club notebook if the sitter feels like it. (What's next, healthy snacks? A Kids Can Cook... Naturally! book?) Stacey feels "unsettled" by Abby's proposals, but secretly thinks that some of Abby's ideas make sense. Ultimately, she doesn't much care because Abby will only be president for a week or two, and Stacey will be away for most of that. Also, she's still too preoccupied worrying about Robert.
Speak of the cheating devil! The meeting is interrupted with a phone call from... Robert? Actually, it's Emily Bernstein (of all people) with an update on Robert. Emily saw him at Casa Grande with... a girl. She didn't see who, but it was some dark-haired girl. Emily apparently knows Stacey well enough to feel obligated to report this, but doesn't know her well enough to have her phone number. So she called Claudia's number instead, during meeting time (she apologizes, but I'm actually more amused by her call and it's underlying 'f you' to Kristy than Abby's exaggerated "Kristy" faces). Stacey assures Emily that she did the right thing.
Stacey hangs up, stunned, and passes on the newsflash to her friends. Kristy stops pouting about Abby-as-president long enough to scoff at the very idea of Robert with another girl; Claudia and MA try to say that maybe it's all just a big misunderstanding. Stacey's all "Yeah, maybe..." but she spends the rest of the meeting wondering and worrying. (She does pause long enough to vote 'yes' on letting Abby fill in as president while Kristy's away; all of the others except Kristy also vote yes. Shockingly, Kristy doesn't decide that her lone vote overpowers the rest of them.) Kristy grudgingly shakes Abby's hand and is all, "Congratulations Ms. Alternate President, here's my number in Hawaii if you need me." (She memorized her hotel number?) Abby is like, "Thanks but no thanks." They leave.
Finally, Stacey has a chance to talk to Claudia about Emily's call. "What are you going to DO?" Claudia asks her. Stacey decides to confront Robert and calmly, rationally ask him the truth about the girl at Casa Grande.
Just kidding (or as Logan would say, RANK!). This is the BSC we're talking about! Stacey decides to don a disguise and spy on Robert. What else? Claudia is skeptical, but agrees to spy with her.
Chapter Five: Baby-sitting chapter. Abby somehow managed to con $30 of treasury money from Stacey to pay for art supplies for a "Mexican Festival" she's decided to hold (to raise money for some orphanage in Mexico that Anna's music friends send tapes of their music to. Um, okay?) Seriously, is it written in their club guidelines that the president MUST oversee a neighborhood festival/carnival/circus every other flipping weekend?
Anyway, I loathe this subplot, so I'll try to hurry through it. Abby, Claudia, MA, Mallory and Jessi gather the Barrett/DeWitt brats, Haley, Matt, Becca, and the Pikes over somewhere to make random papier-mâché decorations for the festival (a unicorn, a teddy bear, a rocket ship, a dragon... how very Mexican!). The kids act up and make a big mess... with papier-mâché. Which one might think would go without saying, no?
Apparently not. Claud, Mal, Jessi and MA somehow decide that it's all Abby's fault and nothing like kids making a mess with papier-mâché would ever happen if Kristy was around! To make matters worse: the geniuses lose track of Marnie Barrett. When Abby learns that a 2-year-old might be missing, she runs to call 9-1-1. Fortunately, it turns out to be a false alarm (the other brats had hid Marnie... inside the papier-mâché dragon?). Abby relays this to the 9-1-1 operator, who doesn't seem put out or anything, yet somehow this is presented as further evidence of how the club is already falling! apart! without the guidance of The Great and Powerful Kristy.
(On that note, doesn't it seem like the Brewer-Thomases' departure for Hawaii was rather... uneventful? One day Kristy was reluctantly handing her title over to Abby; the next day she was gone. I guess if the BSC groveled at her feet and sobbed for her not to go, we wouldn't get the Very Important Lesson of how no one, absolutely no one else is capable of running the sacred BSC...)
Chapter Six: After the previous chapter's stupidity, suddenly Stacey's spying on Robert doesn't seem like such a big deal. Stacey decides to put her plan into action on "Friday", after she calls Robert's house and his mommy says that he went to Washington Mall... without Stacey. Claudia still isn't thrilled about the whole spying deal but, true to her word, she tags along with Stacey to the mall. Claud even makes what is perhaps her first genuinely good point in life after she asks Stacey to take off her sunglasses and snarks that Robert has seen Stacey in sunglasses before and "it's not as if he wouldn't recognize you." True, Claudia; very true. Stacey obliges.
They follow Robert around the pet store, the book store, and eventually to the movie theater. It's at the theater (while peering from the storefront next door) that they realize that Robert has a date... Pete Black! With a new mullet! Claudia remarks that Pete "looks good with his hair long." Stacey decides that Robert must be there to see this stereotypical-sounding action movie called Hang Tough, and figures that he asked Pete along because he knows that ~*sophisticated*~ Stacey doesn't generally go for that type of movie. She's temporarily relieved.
That is, she's relieved until she witnesses two "beautiful" 15-year-old girls buy tickets for Hang Tough -- and jumps to the conclusion that these girls must be meeting Robert and Pete at the movies! Claudia isn't so sure and is like, "Stacey, those aren't girls, they're women! Too old!" but Stacey isn't sold. She buys tickets for herself and Claud for Hang Tough, and stalks on into the theater.
Once inside, Stacey and Claudia notice that the girls are, as a matter of fact, sitting with two guys, but they're too dumb to notice that neither guy's hair matches Robert's OR Pete's. I suppose we should expect this from Claudia, but... really, Stacey? You can recognize the two girls, but you don't know your own boyfriend's hair? I know it's a cheap shot to say "no wonder he's cheating on you", but... I'll just say that I bet Andi Gentile would know the difference.
And it isn't even Stacey who finally puts two and two together; Claudia realizes 3/4th's of the way into the movie that neither of the two guys has a mullet; therefore, they must not be Robert and Pete! Stacey marches on over to peer at the two guys up close, and sure enough, it's not Robert and Pete. Stacey's all "now what?"; then she drags a protesting Claudia (who wanted to stay for the end of the movie) out of the theater (much to the relief of the woman sitting behind them, who kept hissing "Sssh!" and "Sit down!" at Stacey while Stacey was trying to spy).
Stacey and Claud stand around the cinema, stumped, for a moment, until a door to one of the other theaters opens. It's Robert and Pete, who, as it turns out, are out on a date to see the new "romantic" Julia Roberts Julie Talbert movie! Stacey and Robert are all "Wtf?" (Stacey: "I really wanted to see that chick flick!" Robert: "You went to Hang Tough?") Robert claims that he asked Pete because he "knew Stacey was going away" and the Julie Talbert movie "wouldn't be playing anymore" by the time she got back (so ask her to go see it that day, dumb@ss!). Meanwhile, Stacey blames Hang Tough on Claudia, who gamely/awkwardly plays along.
Now that they're all present and accounted for, they decide to go on a double lunch-date to Friendly's before parting ways (Robert and Pete to "play video games", Stacey and Claud to browse Zingy's). Before parting, Stacey invites Robert to play tennis. He... declines, and stammers and stutters some excuse about going to play baseball with Pete Black's cousins in Lawrenceville. (Hey, I thought Pete luved the BSC? Not very nice of him to cover for Robert's illicit affair. Revenge for Laine?)
Stacey is hurt by Robert's rejection, but slightly cheered by his offer to see her off the next morning before she leaves for New York. Still, she and Claudia wonder and worry some more as they ponder why Robert seemingly, suddenly wants to spend every waking moment with "Pete Black." What could it mean? Stacey doesn't know... but she has a very bad feeling.
Chapter Seven: Now it's eleven-o-clock on Saturday morning, and a disappointed Stacey (who has heard zilch from Robert) has determined that her boyfriend is a lying liar who lies. She confides in Maureen, who tries to comfort her. Stacey sniffles bravely, "It's okay" and grunts as she lifts her suitcase, which is now stuffed with "back-to-school" clothes from Maureen's promised shopping trip. She opens the front door, and sees... Robert! With his hand poised to ring the bell, and a big bouquet of guilt-flowers in his hand!
Robert is too cowardly to admit that they're guilt-flowers, and lets Stacey believe it's just a going-away bouquet. He agrees to accompany Stacey and Maureen to the train station. Stacey doesn't pick up any "guilty" vibes on the flowers, but she feels a little uneasy after she tries to ask Robert about last night's "baseball game" and "Pete Black" -- and just gets grins and half-answers in response. Robert's all, "Yeah, Pete's a good guy. Look, flowers!"
At the train station, Maureen "coolly" pretends to need to make a phone call so that Stacey and Robert can enjoy a romantic goodbye in private. Stacey and Robert try their best. Or at least Stacey does. Or, she claims to. She shares an "emotional" hug and "quick kiss on the lips" with Robert; then he waves and waves as Stacey settles into her seat. Stacey waves back, then (as the train pulls away) she has a few mixed thoughts about Robert and their relationship. Robert brought her flowers, so he must luv her! Right? But who was the dark-haired girl at Casa Grande? Was it even a girl, or did Emily see Pete Black's mullet and get it all wrong and cause all this worry for nothing?
As soon as Stacey's train enters the Tunnel to New York, her "city self" takes over, and she more or less forgets all about Robert. According to Stacey, just riding through this magical tunnel makes her feel "faster" (?), "smarter" and (even?!) "more sophisticated." Maybe you should just move into the tunnel, Stace? (Hey, it would solve her problem as to which parent she should live with once and for all, wouldn't it? Compromise!)
Stacey's train pulls into its final destination of Grand Central Station, where some creepy-sounding "bearded" man is all, "Can I help you with this?" as he fetches her suitcase down for her. Stacey is touched by his gesture and wonders why everybody thinks New Yorkers are so rude --she's never found them to be that way! (Actually, I agree with her, I suppose; I've been to NYC several times and have friends there, and I've yet to encounter any stereotypical rude New Yorkers. However, I tend not to believe that one's location has much, if anything to do with his/her manners.)
Anyway, Edward McGill is waiting inside the station for Stacey. He runs to her, and they happily reunite, and make plans to go to the Oyster Bar down on the lower level. Stacey is happy because the Oyster Bar is very New York (alas, I once interviewed the actor Kevin Corrigan on my radio show, who told me the very same thing, so... points? Kevin Corrigan = Suzanne Weyn?) Edward promises to do "lots of fun things this week" and Stacey's all, "I can't wait!" Robert who?
Chapter Eight: Abby buys more art supplies without asking the other club members, then tries to make them pay back the cost. Lame, Abby, but... she at least tries to drop the subject after they protest (since these girls are all about mixed messages, though, MA pays anyway, and the others follow suit... grumbling the whole way through).
More children gathered. More art projects. The kids make crappy, poorly spelled signs to advertise their Mexican Festival. The sitters (minus Abby) are mortified. This would NEVER happen if Kristy was in charge! (Never mind that they make crappy posters/signs in every third book; we'll pretend otherwise.) These signs are so embarrassing that even Abby has to admit they're a bomb (after Anna and Rachel Stevenson rudely call the signs ugly). Abby demands that Mal and the others take the signs down, and assures Mallory that she herself will borrow supplies from Claudia and make more.
Mallory peskily calls Stacey in the city to whine about how Abby is destroying the club. Mallory to Stacey: "Abby is fun and I like her a lot but we need Kristy back. And we need her BAAAD!" Who knew Kristy had such power over signs? Shouldn't that be Claudia's turf? Maybe Claudia's art magic only works if Kristy is around? Your guess is as good as mine.
Oh -- Norman Hill makes an appearance in this chapter. At first I thought his weight wouldn't be mentioned, but clearly I gave Suzanne (Ann?) too much credit:
"Norman, who is overweight (though he is dieting) filled the board with pictures of tacos, chili, burritos, and tortillas."
(After this is established, Jessi condescendingly tells Norman that it's "nice artwork but now there's no room to write" on the poster.) Because we all know only the fat kid would draw pictures of Mexican food to advertise a Mexican festival.
Coming up... Ethan, Abby ruins the BSC, Stacey finds out the truth about Robert!
I present to you... the cover (thanks, Dibbly Fresh):
I give Hodges a B for effort. This scene sort of happens in the book, but not really. Stacey's expression is all wrong. She looks all pissed off, while Robert looks dorky guilty, which -- at least in Stacey's case --shouldn't be the case until (SPOILER ALERT!) after Stacey returns home from New York. She actually does receive flowers from Robert (and even brings them with her to the train station) but that happens before her visit. It's like Hodges combined "before New York" and "after New York" for his cover photo. But he got the daisies and sunflowers right; I'll give him that.
Meanwhile, that floating picture of Honorary Member!Dawn above the 'B' block, with just enough space to separate her from the others, always makes it seem like she's... dead? or something. Like an angel floating over them? It looks weird to me. I'm not sure why.
I'm also not sure why Hodges drew the guy with the red jacket and porn 'stache (and the other guy gazing back at him) in such detail, whereas the girl with the Mallory-esque hair sitting down (behind Robert) only gets a blob for a face. Anyhow...
Chapter One: Much to my amazement, the book does NOT begin with dialogue. I know, right? I didn't think it was possible, but Suzanne mixes it up a little by starting things out with Stacey's inner monologue instead.
To be specific, Stacey's rude thought (that she's kind enough to share with us via narration) is: Oh no! Things were going so well, too. (too?) as she sees a girl with "dark brown hair and a wide smile" approaching her and Robert at what is apparently some tennis court. The girl is Andi Gentile, one of Stacey's ex "Bad Girl" friends (you know, the ones who keep flasks in their socks and take advantage of poor, innocent-yet-sophisticated baby-sitters. Not to be confused with Logan's Badd Boyz.)
Now, before I go any further, I just want to say that I was always a little weirded out by that name 'Andi Gentile'. That's because, in middle school, I knew two little BFFs, one of whom was named "Andi" and the other whose last name was none other than -- you guessed it -- "Gentile." I'm sure they grew up to be lovely people, but, boy, were they obnoxious little bitcas back then! (At least "Gentile" was; "Andi" might have been more of a follower). Like, if they went to SMS, undoubtedly these girls would've ran with Stacey's "bad" crowd.
Not only were these girls "mean girl" types, but their names (especially "Gentile") aren't exactly the most common ones around. If the girl with the "dark hair and wide smile" was named Jennifer Jones or something, I wouldn't have thought twice about it. However, even now, I'm usually caught off guard when I first see "Andi Gentile" printed in the pages of these masterpieces. How random of ANM Suzanne Weyn Lerangis whomever invented/named the Bad Girls (who did, anyway? Does Ann even know she has a character named Andi Gentile?) to come up with that, of all names.
(Suzanne Weyn = pen name for my 8th grade English teacher?)
Anyway. Stacey had been having this perfect end-of-summer day with Robert, playing tennis and eating sandwiches from a deli (Stoneybrook has delis?) until Andi walks over and starts flirting with Robert. Robert flirts right back; he even smiles at Andi with his mouth and with his eyes. Just moments earlier, he'd smiled at Stacey with his eyes... but didn't bother to take his tunafish sandwich out of his mouth. But the second Andi Gentile arrives, not only does Robert "gulp down" his tuna sandwich... he even wipes his mouth! Stacey doesn't like this; she doesn't want Robert smiling at Andi at all, even though she still "sort of likes" Andi.
To make matters worse, Sheila MacGregor turns up a moment later to play tennis with Andi, right in the middle of this supposedly hilarious story Andi is telling Robert -- all about how Jacqui Grant (the Alpha Bad Girl? wasn't she the one with the dyed red hair and nose ring?) snuck in and out of different theaters at a movie complex and made some poor Short Takes student usher chase after her. Stacey doesn't think the story is funny (she's right) but she fakely smiles, justifying it in her narration by noting that their laughter is "contagious." Stacey also notices that, contrary to Andi's "tennis whites", Sheila is dressed in a "tight purple unitard that showed off her perfect figure" (with a gratuitous parenthesed comment that "all Sheila's outfits show off her figure." Hmm, I thought Stacey didn't want Andi hanging around Robert, but maybe it's Sheila she doesn't want her around...?)
(This -- along with similar photos -- is what turned up when I google-imaged "purple unitard." Sexy! Hilariously, when I tried searching for "tight purple unitard", the only images to turn up were two scanned pictures from Baby-Sitters At Shadow Lake, and a picture of some faux Angelina Jolie... in a black unitard.)
Andi suggests playing a game of doubles and Robert leaps right up, but Stacey declines, saying she's "pooped." Sheila gets all pre-BSC Laine Cummings for a moment and says in a "sickeningly sweet" fake sympathetic voice, "Oh, that's right... your illness." But Stacey insists that it isn't her diabeetus; she's just tired. Robert "looks disappointed", but agrees to leave.
On their way back to Stacey's to play some computer game (on TV?), Robert wonders if they'll even be allowed out of the kitchen since Maureen isn't home. It seems Maureen's rule is that he can come inside if she's not there to supervise, but ONLY if he and Stacey stay in the kitchen. I don't remember if she had this not-particularly-sense-making rule in other books, but okay. (I still call B.S. on Stacey following it!)
On this particular day, Stacey's too busy worrying about whether or not she came across as jealous of Andi and Sheila back at the tennis courts to care much about Maureen's rules. She just shrugs off Robert's question and "doesn't think it will be a big deal" if they hang out in the living room (which, if true, makes me wonder all the more what the point of Maureen's rule is). Stacey promises to call her mom and check.
But before she can do so, New York City calls! Not just once, but TWICE! First, it's Stacey's dad, calling "just to chat." That workaholic? His job description must have been amended to read Communicate with daughter at least once a week. Stacey and Edward even make plans to go Rollerblading (capitalization = Suzanne's, though it could be proper for all I know) with Samantha, Edward McGill's trophy girlfriend. In Central Park, natch.
Then Mrs. Walker calls. (Who? That artist from Stacey's old apartment -- Henry and Grace's mom.) I thought she was supposed to be all shy and soft-spoken like her kids, but in this book, she for some reason has this exaggerated very! dramatic! manner of speaking. Mrs. Walker and her fellow artist/husband are preparing for a big gallery opening and "desperately" need a sitter every day for a week while they get ready. Mrs. Walker begs Stacey to take the job (and is rather pushy and presumptuous in the process). Fortunately for her, Stacey seems excited about the idea.
Unfortunately for Stacey, as soon as she hangs up and shares the news with Robert, he gets all sulky and is like, "A week? Do you know how long that is in teen years?" He reminds her that they don't have much time together before summer is over and it's time to go back to... 8th grade. Aww, cheer up, Robert, you'll get another "summer before" 8th grade in a few books or so.
Stacey knows this, and reassures Robert that it will be okay; she's even happy to hear him say, "I'll miss you." That must mean he luvs her -- right? Little does she know what the week will hold...
Chapter Two: Stacey and Robert play her little computer game for three and a half hours (yes, Maureen gave permission for them to hang out in the living room) until Stacey has to take off to go to her BSC meeting. President Kristy, you see, is "a real nut about being on time." Stacey makes it to Claudia's (no mention of what becomes of Robert after she takes off for the meeting) by 5:20, thus escaping the wrath of her master president.
What's more boring than three and a half straight hours of playing Marvel in the Mist in Stacey McGill's living room? The second chapter of a BSC book. This one is no exception. Other than perhaps Suzanne Weyn's blatant disregard for sun safety -- as evidenced by such statements as Stacey's "Even though I wore sunblock, I was tan. Cool. I know it's not supposed to be great for your skin, but my eyes always look bluer when I'm tan." (This after Abby and some of the other cult members admire her golden summer skin.) Why bother even mentioning sunblock, Suzanne? Who cares about a little skin cancer when Stacey's tan does such an effective job of making her eyes pop?
There's also a Claudia outfit:
"... an oversized purple top over turquoise leggings. With fabric paints she'd painted a beautiful unicorn on the top and then decorated the leggings with designs in the same colors. From her ears dangled earrings she'd made of papier-mâché in the shape of unicorn heads."
Well, Ellen Riteman would approve.
And, of course, the obligatory "Mallory is ugly" spiel:
"[Mallory] says she loathes the idea of having her author picture on the back of a book or on the jacket flap. That's because she doesn't like her looks very much. She has curly reddish-brown hair, glasses, braces, freckles, and a great smile. Okay, so it's not the standard beautiful-girl look, but Mal has an inner beauty and I think she really shines."
(And after you've known her for awhile, she starts to look pretty!)
So, Kristy asks about "any new club business" and Stacey informs her of the upcoming trip to New York. Instead of being happy for her friend, Kristy throws a fit (knocking off her trusty baseball cap in the process) and accuses Stacey of "always doing this", i.e. taking long-term jobs. SO WHAT, Kristy? She's baby-sitting, isn't she?!
It seems part of the reason Kristy is so upset is that she'll be away in Hawaii with her family the very same week that Stacey plans to go to New York. Of course, THAT'S okay -- but heaven forbid any of her subjects try to leave town for a few days in the summertime! Stacey meekly protests that it's only for a week. Mary Anne dares to speak up (probably because a New York City trip is at stake here; Stacey might come back and breathe some city air on her, after all) and points out that late August is "usually" their slowest time of year. Kristy huffs and puffs (if Lerangis wrote this, she would've "harrumphed").
Finally, Kristy's like, "Okay, Mary Anne, but I want YOU to act as President while I'm gone." Abby's all, "Hey, wait a minute! I'M the alternate officer! I get to be President!" Kristy's like, "Claudia?" and Abby's all "Meeeee!" and Kristy finally relents -- on the condition that Abby run the next meeting. If Kristy approves, Abby can be BSC President while she's away. Yay... I guess that means we get to read about another meeting. I'd rather read more about Marvel in the Mist.
Chapter Three: But right now, it's time to read about clothes! Sort of. Stacey wakes up thinking about ~*sophisticated*~ city people and how much more stylish they are than plain old suburban folk. (Trying to be fair, I guess, Stacey makes sure to note that not everyone in the city dresses great -- but that seems to be the general rule.) Stacey does NOT want to dress like she's "from the suburbs." She's especially worried about it this time around because she'll be in NYC for an entire week! (But shouldn't all of her clothes be ~*sophisticated*~? What does the length of your stay have to do with anything, Stacey?)
Stacey gets out of bed and starts packing right away, in an effort to avoid looking like she's from the suburbs. She studies her closet but "nothing looks right." Her mom walks in, and we're treated to a Maureen outfit:
"... beige pants with a matching sleeveless tunic top, and... a long scarf around her neck."
That's it? Meh. It would help if we knew more about the scarf.
Stacey realizes that the presence of a parent = a chance to hit said parent up for money. She laments that she has NOTHING to take with her to the Walkers'! Maureen calls B.S., but laughs and promises to take her shopping for school clothes the next day, when there's conveniently an "employees only" back-to-school sale at Bellair's. Stacey is satisfied.
Maureen leaves to get ready for work, and Stacey puts on that day's outfit, which vaguely sounds like something she threw together in attempt to say "See?" to Maureen:
"...khaki-green Bermuda shorts and a yellow cotton shirt with purple violets on it."
(The closest I could find in Google Images to Stacey's outfit... which isn't horrible but, besides sounding rather suburban, also sounds/looks like a cross between something Mary Anne would wear and something my grandmother would have worn. Except I think Grandma would have gone for pants, not Bermudas.)
Stacey decides to call Robert, whose sister answers the phone. She informs Stacey that Robert isn't home but that he left a note in his "horrible handwriting" (nameless sister's words -- Stacey luvs Robert's handwriting!) with a message for Stacey. The note says that Robert is out playing basketball with his guy friends and will be "gone all day." It's a bunch of crapola, but since Stacey doesn't know that yet, she thanks Nameless and hangs up, feeling temporarily at ease.
(Not that I care much about Robert, but why go the trouble of lying in a note and dragging your sister into it? Sociopath.)
Stacey calls Claudia next, but Claudia is busy making "watermelon sculptures", whatever those are. She half-@ssedly invites Stacey over to come watch her, adding that Stacey can eat the discarded watermelon. Stacey declines. (Can't say I blame her on that one.)
Stacey starts to think about Robert again and for some reason feels guilty that she doesn't care about leaving him behind when she goes to New York. She worries about whether the fact that she doesn't miss him means that she's "heartless." Which -- calm down, Stacey, you haven't even left Stoneybrook yet! She stalkerishly decides to go find him at the basketball court. I guess somehow being in his presence will make her feel better about not (yet?) missing him before she's even left town?
Whoops. Bad idea, Stace. It turns out that Robert... isn't at the basketball court. His friend Alex Zacharias is there and tells Stacey that he'd called Robert earlier and asked him to come play, but Robert said he "had plans." Alex just assumed the plans were with Stacey, but clearly...Robert lied. Stacey feels stunned. Whatever could this mean?!
Chapter Four: Oh, goody, it's time for the next BSC meeting. Which means it's time for Abby's trial run as Acting President of the BSC. Stupid Mary Anne has already forgotten about her supposed best friend Kristy's impending absence and does a "double take" (which is described in great detail, as if we're supposed to find it all cute and charming) at the sight of Abby sitting in Claudia's "Kristy's" director's chair. Kristy glowers.
Stacey, meanwhile, only scarcely notices all this because she's too busy worrying about Robert. He'd made up a story (to back up his bulls**t note) about playing at the "Community Courts" the day before with Marty 'The Bukeman' Bukowski, which is supposedly why he wasn't playing basketball with Alex Zacharias and his other "guy friends" at SMS. But Stacey is skeptical. To top everything off, Robert didn't even call her at ALL the previous day; she had to call him that morning to get his story!
Stacey manages to pay enough attention to the meeting to notice Abby's wacky antics, which include making fun of Kristy's Look and obsession with punctuality (while I applaud any rare occurrence where these girls find it within themselves to stand up to Kristy, Abby is far too over-the-top in her Kristy-snarking, and almost as annoying as Kristy herself). Abby also comes up with all these outlandish plans like cutting dues to every other week -- and only requiring writing in the club notebook if the sitter feels like it. (What's next, healthy snacks? A Kids Can Cook... Naturally! book?) Stacey feels "unsettled" by Abby's proposals, but secretly thinks that some of Abby's ideas make sense. Ultimately, she doesn't much care because Abby will only be president for a week or two, and Stacey will be away for most of that. Also, she's still too preoccupied worrying about Robert.
Speak of the cheating devil! The meeting is interrupted with a phone call from... Robert? Actually, it's Emily Bernstein (of all people) with an update on Robert. Emily saw him at Casa Grande with... a girl. She didn't see who, but it was some dark-haired girl. Emily apparently knows Stacey well enough to feel obligated to report this, but doesn't know her well enough to have her phone number. So she called Claudia's number instead, during meeting time (she apologizes, but I'm actually more amused by her call and it's underlying 'f you' to Kristy than Abby's exaggerated "Kristy" faces). Stacey assures Emily that she did the right thing.
Stacey hangs up, stunned, and passes on the newsflash to her friends. Kristy stops pouting about Abby-as-president long enough to scoff at the very idea of Robert with another girl; Claudia and MA try to say that maybe it's all just a big misunderstanding. Stacey's all "Yeah, maybe..." but she spends the rest of the meeting wondering and worrying. (She does pause long enough to vote 'yes' on letting Abby fill in as president while Kristy's away; all of the others except Kristy also vote yes. Shockingly, Kristy doesn't decide that her lone vote overpowers the rest of them.) Kristy grudgingly shakes Abby's hand and is all, "Congratulations Ms. Alternate President, here's my number in Hawaii if you need me." (She memorized her hotel number?) Abby is like, "Thanks but no thanks." They leave.
Finally, Stacey has a chance to talk to Claudia about Emily's call. "What are you going to DO?" Claudia asks her. Stacey decides to confront Robert and calmly, rationally ask him the truth about the girl at Casa Grande.
Just kidding (or as Logan would say, RANK!). This is the BSC we're talking about! Stacey decides to don a disguise and spy on Robert. What else? Claudia is skeptical, but agrees to spy with her.
Chapter Five: Baby-sitting chapter. Abby somehow managed to con $30 of treasury money from Stacey to pay for art supplies for a "Mexican Festival" she's decided to hold (to raise money for some orphanage in Mexico that Anna's music friends send tapes of their music to. Um, okay?) Seriously, is it written in their club guidelines that the president MUST oversee a neighborhood festival/carnival/circus every other flipping weekend?
Anyway, I loathe this subplot, so I'll try to hurry through it. Abby, Claudia, MA, Mallory and Jessi gather the Barrett/DeWitt brats, Haley, Matt, Becca, and the Pikes over somewhere to make random papier-mâché decorations for the festival (a unicorn, a teddy bear, a rocket ship, a dragon... how very Mexican!). The kids act up and make a big mess... with papier-mâché. Which one might think would go without saying, no?
Apparently not. Claud, Mal, Jessi and MA somehow decide that it's all Abby's fault and nothing like kids making a mess with papier-mâché would ever happen if Kristy was around! To make matters worse: the geniuses lose track of Marnie Barrett. When Abby learns that a 2-year-old might be missing, she runs to call 9-1-1. Fortunately, it turns out to be a false alarm (the other brats had hid Marnie... inside the papier-mâché dragon?). Abby relays this to the 9-1-1 operator, who doesn't seem put out or anything, yet somehow this is presented as further evidence of how the club is already falling! apart! without the guidance of The Great and Powerful Kristy.
(On that note, doesn't it seem like the Brewer-Thomases' departure for Hawaii was rather... uneventful? One day Kristy was reluctantly handing her title over to Abby; the next day she was gone. I guess if the BSC groveled at her feet and sobbed for her not to go, we wouldn't get the Very Important Lesson of how no one, absolutely no one else is capable of running the sacred BSC...)
Chapter Six: After the previous chapter's stupidity, suddenly Stacey's spying on Robert doesn't seem like such a big deal. Stacey decides to put her plan into action on "Friday", after she calls Robert's house and his mommy says that he went to Washington Mall... without Stacey. Claudia still isn't thrilled about the whole spying deal but, true to her word, she tags along with Stacey to the mall. Claud even makes what is perhaps her first genuinely good point in life after she asks Stacey to take off her sunglasses and snarks that Robert has seen Stacey in sunglasses before and "it's not as if he wouldn't recognize you." True, Claudia; very true. Stacey obliges.
They follow Robert around the pet store, the book store, and eventually to the movie theater. It's at the theater (while peering from the storefront next door) that they realize that Robert has a date... Pete Black! With a new mullet! Claudia remarks that Pete "looks good with his hair long." Stacey decides that Robert must be there to see this stereotypical-sounding action movie called Hang Tough, and figures that he asked Pete along because he knows that ~*sophisticated*~ Stacey doesn't generally go for that type of movie. She's temporarily relieved.
That is, she's relieved until she witnesses two "beautiful" 15-year-old girls buy tickets for Hang Tough -- and jumps to the conclusion that these girls must be meeting Robert and Pete at the movies! Claudia isn't so sure and is like, "Stacey, those aren't girls, they're women! Too old!" but Stacey isn't sold. She buys tickets for herself and Claud for Hang Tough, and stalks on into the theater.
Once inside, Stacey and Claudia notice that the girls are, as a matter of fact, sitting with two guys, but they're too dumb to notice that neither guy's hair matches Robert's OR Pete's. I suppose we should expect this from Claudia, but... really, Stacey? You can recognize the two girls, but you don't know your own boyfriend's hair? I know it's a cheap shot to say "no wonder he's cheating on you", but... I'll just say that I bet Andi Gentile would know the difference.
And it isn't even Stacey who finally puts two and two together; Claudia realizes 3/4th's of the way into the movie that neither of the two guys has a mullet; therefore, they must not be Robert and Pete! Stacey marches on over to peer at the two guys up close, and sure enough, it's not Robert and Pete. Stacey's all "now what?"; then she drags a protesting Claudia (who wanted to stay for the end of the movie) out of the theater (much to the relief of the woman sitting behind them, who kept hissing "Sssh!" and "Sit down!" at Stacey while Stacey was trying to spy).
Stacey and Claud stand around the cinema, stumped, for a moment, until a door to one of the other theaters opens. It's Robert and Pete, who, as it turns out, are out on a date to see the new "romantic" Julia Roberts Julie Talbert movie! Stacey and Robert are all "Wtf?" (Stacey: "I really wanted to see that chick flick!" Robert: "You went to Hang Tough?") Robert claims that he asked Pete because he "knew Stacey was going away" and the Julie Talbert movie "wouldn't be playing anymore" by the time she got back (so ask her to go see it that day, dumb@ss!). Meanwhile, Stacey blames Hang Tough on Claudia, who gamely/awkwardly plays along.
Now that they're all present and accounted for, they decide to go on a double lunch-date to Friendly's before parting ways (Robert and Pete to "play video games", Stacey and Claud to browse Zingy's). Before parting, Stacey invites Robert to play tennis. He... declines, and stammers and stutters some excuse about going to play baseball with Pete Black's cousins in Lawrenceville. (Hey, I thought Pete luved the BSC? Not very nice of him to cover for Robert's illicit affair. Revenge for Laine?)
Stacey is hurt by Robert's rejection, but slightly cheered by his offer to see her off the next morning before she leaves for New York. Still, she and Claudia wonder and worry some more as they ponder why Robert seemingly, suddenly wants to spend every waking moment with "Pete Black." What could it mean? Stacey doesn't know... but she has a very bad feeling.
Chapter Seven: Now it's eleven-o-clock on Saturday morning, and a disappointed Stacey (who has heard zilch from Robert) has determined that her boyfriend is a lying liar who lies. She confides in Maureen, who tries to comfort her. Stacey sniffles bravely, "It's okay" and grunts as she lifts her suitcase, which is now stuffed with "back-to-school" clothes from Maureen's promised shopping trip. She opens the front door, and sees... Robert! With his hand poised to ring the bell, and a big bouquet of guilt-flowers in his hand!
Robert is too cowardly to admit that they're guilt-flowers, and lets Stacey believe it's just a going-away bouquet. He agrees to accompany Stacey and Maureen to the train station. Stacey doesn't pick up any "guilty" vibes on the flowers, but she feels a little uneasy after she tries to ask Robert about last night's "baseball game" and "Pete Black" -- and just gets grins and half-answers in response. Robert's all, "Yeah, Pete's a good guy. Look, flowers!"
At the train station, Maureen "coolly" pretends to need to make a phone call so that Stacey and Robert can enjoy a romantic goodbye in private. Stacey and Robert try their best. Or at least Stacey does. Or, she claims to. She shares an "emotional" hug and "quick kiss on the lips" with Robert; then he waves and waves as Stacey settles into her seat. Stacey waves back, then (as the train pulls away) she has a few mixed thoughts about Robert and their relationship. Robert brought her flowers, so he must luv her! Right? But who was the dark-haired girl at Casa Grande? Was it even a girl, or did Emily see Pete Black's mullet and get it all wrong and cause all this worry for nothing?
As soon as Stacey's train enters the Tunnel to New York, her "city self" takes over, and she more or less forgets all about Robert. According to Stacey, just riding through this magical tunnel makes her feel "faster" (?), "smarter" and (even?!) "more sophisticated." Maybe you should just move into the tunnel, Stace? (Hey, it would solve her problem as to which parent she should live with once and for all, wouldn't it? Compromise!)
Stacey's train pulls into its final destination of Grand Central Station, where some creepy-sounding "bearded" man is all, "Can I help you with this?" as he fetches her suitcase down for her. Stacey is touched by his gesture and wonders why everybody thinks New Yorkers are so rude --she's never found them to be that way! (Actually, I agree with her, I suppose; I've been to NYC several times and have friends there, and I've yet to encounter any stereotypical rude New Yorkers. However, I tend not to believe that one's location has much, if anything to do with his/her manners.)
Anyway, Edward McGill is waiting inside the station for Stacey. He runs to her, and they happily reunite, and make plans to go to the Oyster Bar down on the lower level. Stacey is happy because the Oyster Bar is very New York (alas, I once interviewed the actor Kevin Corrigan on my radio show, who told me the very same thing, so... points? Kevin Corrigan = Suzanne Weyn?) Edward promises to do "lots of fun things this week" and Stacey's all, "I can't wait!" Robert who?
Chapter Eight: Abby buys more art supplies without asking the other club members, then tries to make them pay back the cost. Lame, Abby, but... she at least tries to drop the subject after they protest (since these girls are all about mixed messages, though, MA pays anyway, and the others follow suit... grumbling the whole way through).
More children gathered. More art projects. The kids make crappy, poorly spelled signs to advertise their Mexican Festival. The sitters (minus Abby) are mortified. This would NEVER happen if Kristy was in charge! (Never mind that they make crappy posters/signs in every third book; we'll pretend otherwise.) These signs are so embarrassing that even Abby has to admit they're a bomb (after Anna and Rachel Stevenson rudely call the signs ugly). Abby demands that Mal and the others take the signs down, and assures Mallory that she herself will borrow supplies from Claudia and make more.
Mallory peskily calls Stacey in the city to whine about how Abby is destroying the club. Mallory to Stacey: "Abby is fun and I like her a lot but we need Kristy back. And we need her BAAAD!" Who knew Kristy had such power over signs? Shouldn't that be Claudia's turf? Maybe Claudia's art magic only works if Kristy is around? Your guess is as good as mine.
Oh -- Norman Hill makes an appearance in this chapter. At first I thought his weight wouldn't be mentioned, but clearly I gave Suzanne (Ann?) too much credit:
"Norman, who is overweight (though he is dieting) filled the board with pictures of tacos, chili, burritos, and tortillas."
(After this is established, Jessi condescendingly tells Norman that it's "nice artwork but now there's no room to write" on the poster.) Because we all know only the fat kid would draw pictures of Mexican food to advertise a Mexican festival.
Coming up... Ethan, Abby ruins the BSC, Stacey finds out the truth about Robert!