A letter
Title: A Letter
Author: dephi
Pairing: RyoDa
Rating: PG
Disclaimer : Own the plot, nothing else
Summary: What happens when the most important person to Ryo leaves forever? Would Ryo be able to take it, or would he live in denial forever?
A/N : Beta and summary by annatanhe.. :)
It all happened so fast. He didn't know what had happened as when he had realized, he was already wearing a black suit, standing in this kind of place. It was such a gloomy situation and strangely not many people attended this ceremony.
He didn't know how the ceremony started or how it ended. He knew nothing at all or maybe his mind was too occupied in trying to forget everything. Everyone told him that the person was gone, to somewhere faraway, but he still believed that he would return here again and meet him. So why the hell did he have to attend this ceremony? And why were they crying. He hated this kind of situation, a lot. Nothing was wrong so there was no need for crying.
It was something he didn't want to believe happening. He couldn't accept the truth now. He didn't want to distract your work with this kind of matter -- they said. It was too late, they said. He still didn't want to believe it. But here he was, listening till the ceremony was ended.
"Ryo.." Jin called him and when he realized a single tear dropped from his right eye. He hadn’t meant to cry but it was uncontrollable. There was supposedly nothing to be sad about, right?
Ryo brushed away the tear immediately and pretended that nothing had happened. "What is it, Jin?"
Jin managed to see the single tear that had fallen but as he saw how Ryo ignored that, he decided to act as if he didn't see anything. "Err.. He left a letter, for you." Jin handed the letter to Ryo and smiled sympathetically to Ryo before leaving him alone. Even the famous baka Jin knew that it would be better to leave some space for Ryo. It must have been hard for him and Jin couldn't really think what he would do if he was in Ryo's place. And perhaps Ryo would finally accept the truth. He had denied it all along and Jin didn't want to see his best friend being this pathetic. He had to face it all, sooner or later, and it seemed like he had predicted it before so he left a letter for Ryo before he took his leave..
Ryo could only watch Jin's back getting further while he stared at the envelope he held. Tears came out from both of his eyes before he wiped it away with his hand. It was his handwriting. Ryo recognized the handwriting at the envelope well, too well. He felt the sudden need to tear this letter into pieces and to throw it away. In that way he would remain alive inside his heart. But Ryo didn't have the courage to do so when he saw the handwriting again. Could he really throw the thing he gave him?
He carefully opened the envelope, as he definitely didn't want to ruin it, and took out the letter inside it. Ryo took a single deep breath before he unfolded the paper and tears started coming out again when he saw the familiar writing.
####
'Dear Ryo..
Eh, should it be Ryo - chan? Ah well, whatever, if you read this letter then I must be away now.
Er... 1 question.
Did you...cry?
Okay I was just joking although it will be so interesting to see the proud Nishikido Ryo crying.
Well, let's get to the main point, or I'll get nowhere. This is just a short letter I left for you before I leave this world forever. Yes, I've known my real condition for a long time. I didn't want to distract your work and so I didn’t allow the others to tell you. Was that the truth? I don't really know myself. But I guess it was a lie. I guess I was just too afraid to face my own death.
For me, all of it was like a dream. Remember the days when we still hated each other?
"What did you want to be?"
Just that simple question changed Ueda. He didn't know what he wanted to be and perhaps he wanted to run away from thinking about that by imitating his idol. But this guy named Nishikido Ryo was able to see through him.
Ueda kept thinking about it and so he didn't watch his surroundings while walking along the hall. Suddenly he bumped into someone and fell down. It was his mistake, he knew, so Ueda decided to apologize first. But when he saw who he had bumped into, he changed his mind immediately.
"Watch where you were walking, donkey." the famous Nishikido Ryo retorted as he tried to stand up. It seemed like he fell down too, which was not strange since Ueda himself felt the huge impact when they bumped into each other.
"Yeah whatever, Nishikido. I'm not in the mood to hear any of your honorable speech today." Ueda retorted back.
There was a pause between the two of them before Ryo decided to end the silence. "Oh.. Now I understand well why you were such a freak. And you know what, I hate freaks."
"Not that I like you, Nishikido."
or when you made me cry?
It was such a long tiring day for all members of both KAT-TUN and NEWS especially since they were having rehearsals for summary. It was harsh and they had to keep practicing everything until they were all able to master the choreography perfectly. Unfortunately, they had been doing this since early morning until noon but they were not able to finish it satisfyingly. They were finally given a short time to rest when an annoyed groan was heard.
"You!" Ryo pointed his right finger at Ueda. "I know that you are not so talented but I didn’t know that it would be until this extent." he complained to Ueda directly, without even caring that there were still lots of people inside the room.
Ueda couldn't give any reply as he really was the one who kept making mistakes until they had to re-do the practice over and over again. He felt guilty because of that of course, but no matter how hard he had tried to master the choreography, he kept making mistakes.
"Are you really serious about this? If not, then go home or whatever. We don't need any useless people here. Even that lazy baka Jin could get his steps right!"
Tears started coming out from Ueda's eyes as Ryo scolded him. Even Jin stopped whining about him not being a lazy and baka guy when he saw Ueda's tears.
"What a crybaby.." Ryo said for the last time before he left the room. The rest of his band mates tried to comfort him but it only made Ueda cry even harder.
Well, you're sweet in a strange way, I guess. But I have to tell you honestly that I did hate you so much those days. But what I loved the most should be when you comforted me.
Ueda was standing alone at the rooftop. It was such an unlucky day for him. He was late, even Nakamaru came earlier than him, kept making mistakes at the same place, and the worst of all, fell asleep when his manager was giving the usual speech. He was scolded, a lot. He was used to it actually but he was just too sensitive that day. For him every word he got was double the harshness and he couldn't face them all properly just to ask for forgiveness.
"Don't say that you want to end your life here." A voice was suddenly heard from behind so Ueda turned around to see who it was. "Don't be too reckless. But I won't halt your way if you want to do so. It's just...not in this place, please. I want to have a peaceful lunch."
"Ooh, am I disturbing Nishikido - sama's lunch?" he said sarcastically before approaching the exit. His day was already bad enough even without meeting Ryo.
"You know, why don't you tell me what your problem is, maybe I can help." Ryo paused for a while, "after all I am far more talented than you."
Ueda could only stare at Ryo for a while when he heard him. "That's so funny, Nishikido." Ueda said but he did the completely opposite thing as he returned and sat right beside Ryo.
Well... We went through some happy days together too. But I don't want you to remember it all. Why? I want you to remember the bad memories we had so you'll hate me and forget me. Don't remember me, Ryo. It will only hurt you even more.
...
Okay, I lied. I want you to remember the pain I had gone through so you won't forget me forever. I-I'm so afraid now Ryo. I can feel that my time is ending soon. I forced my smile, to ensure everyone but in the end it might be only to encourage myself. I don't want to die this soon, Ryo. But I don't have much choice, right? I am so afraid that people will forget me, but I only want you, just you, to remember me.
Don't cry, Ryo. Ueda Tatsuya who you always called a crybaby didn’t even cry at all so it would be funny to see the strong Nishikido Ryo crying.
This letter is so long. So, I've lied again. Have you realized that the person you've been with all this time was a liar? Ironic, right? But this is my last lie. Continue living your life well, Ryo, I'll be watching you from where I am. And remember me...
With love,
Ueda Tatsuya
(Tat - chan)
p.s.: I've lied, again. I cried a lot Ryo. I'm such a liar, huh? But enjoy your life. I wish for your happiness. ^.^
####
Ryo kept crying when he read the letter but he stopped immediately as he finished reading it. A smile was finally formed in his face. It was not a wide one but it was meaningful. Ryo folded the letter then returned it inside the envelope again slowly and put it inside his pocket. He then walked to see the tomb before walking away. Ueda might have left him forever as a being but he would remain in his heart forever.
Jin was not beside Ryo yet he watched over Ryo secretly when he was reading the letter Ueda left him. His heart was hurt when he saw his best friend crying but when he saw the smile, Jin sighed, relieved. You'll remain here forever, Tat - chan, at least inside Ryo's heart, and mine..
E/N : Just a short fic I happened to make before my short hiatus last time.. :)
Thanks for reading..
Author: dephi
Pairing: RyoDa
Rating: PG
Disclaimer : Own the plot, nothing else
Summary: What happens when the most important person to Ryo leaves forever? Would Ryo be able to take it, or would he live in denial forever?
A/N : Beta and summary by annatanhe.. :)
It all happened so fast. He didn't know what had happened as when he had realized, he was already wearing a black suit, standing in this kind of place. It was such a gloomy situation and strangely not many people attended this ceremony.
He didn't know how the ceremony started or how it ended. He knew nothing at all or maybe his mind was too occupied in trying to forget everything. Everyone told him that the person was gone, to somewhere faraway, but he still believed that he would return here again and meet him. So why the hell did he have to attend this ceremony? And why were they crying. He hated this kind of situation, a lot. Nothing was wrong so there was no need for crying.
It was something he didn't want to believe happening. He couldn't accept the truth now. He didn't want to distract your work with this kind of matter -- they said. It was too late, they said. He still didn't want to believe it. But here he was, listening till the ceremony was ended.
"Ryo.." Jin called him and when he realized a single tear dropped from his right eye. He hadn’t meant to cry but it was uncontrollable. There was supposedly nothing to be sad about, right?
Ryo brushed away the tear immediately and pretended that nothing had happened. "What is it, Jin?"
Jin managed to see the single tear that had fallen but as he saw how Ryo ignored that, he decided to act as if he didn't see anything. "Err.. He left a letter, for you." Jin handed the letter to Ryo and smiled sympathetically to Ryo before leaving him alone. Even the famous baka Jin knew that it would be better to leave some space for Ryo. It must have been hard for him and Jin couldn't really think what he would do if he was in Ryo's place. And perhaps Ryo would finally accept the truth. He had denied it all along and Jin didn't want to see his best friend being this pathetic. He had to face it all, sooner or later, and it seemed like he had predicted it before so he left a letter for Ryo before he took his leave..
Ryo could only watch Jin's back getting further while he stared at the envelope he held. Tears came out from both of his eyes before he wiped it away with his hand. It was his handwriting. Ryo recognized the handwriting at the envelope well, too well. He felt the sudden need to tear this letter into pieces and to throw it away. In that way he would remain alive inside his heart. But Ryo didn't have the courage to do so when he saw the handwriting again. Could he really throw the thing he gave him?
He carefully opened the envelope, as he definitely didn't want to ruin it, and took out the letter inside it. Ryo took a single deep breath before he unfolded the paper and tears started coming out again when he saw the familiar writing.
####
'Dear Ryo..
Eh, should it be Ryo - chan? Ah well, whatever, if you read this letter then I must be away now.
Er... 1 question.
Did you...cry?
Okay I was just joking although it will be so interesting to see the proud Nishikido Ryo crying.
Well, let's get to the main point, or I'll get nowhere. This is just a short letter I left for you before I leave this world forever. Yes, I've known my real condition for a long time. I didn't want to distract your work and so I didn’t allow the others to tell you. Was that the truth? I don't really know myself. But I guess it was a lie. I guess I was just too afraid to face my own death.
For me, all of it was like a dream. Remember the days when we still hated each other?
"What did you want to be?"
Just that simple question changed Ueda. He didn't know what he wanted to be and perhaps he wanted to run away from thinking about that by imitating his idol. But this guy named Nishikido Ryo was able to see through him.
Ueda kept thinking about it and so he didn't watch his surroundings while walking along the hall. Suddenly he bumped into someone and fell down. It was his mistake, he knew, so Ueda decided to apologize first. But when he saw who he had bumped into, he changed his mind immediately.
"Watch where you were walking, donkey." the famous Nishikido Ryo retorted as he tried to stand up. It seemed like he fell down too, which was not strange since Ueda himself felt the huge impact when they bumped into each other.
"Yeah whatever, Nishikido. I'm not in the mood to hear any of your honorable speech today." Ueda retorted back.
There was a pause between the two of them before Ryo decided to end the silence. "Oh.. Now I understand well why you were such a freak. And you know what, I hate freaks."
"Not that I like you, Nishikido."
or when you made me cry?
It was such a long tiring day for all members of both KAT-TUN and NEWS especially since they were having rehearsals for summary. It was harsh and they had to keep practicing everything until they were all able to master the choreography perfectly. Unfortunately, they had been doing this since early morning until noon but they were not able to finish it satisfyingly. They were finally given a short time to rest when an annoyed groan was heard.
"You!" Ryo pointed his right finger at Ueda. "I know that you are not so talented but I didn’t know that it would be until this extent." he complained to Ueda directly, without even caring that there were still lots of people inside the room.
Ueda couldn't give any reply as he really was the one who kept making mistakes until they had to re-do the practice over and over again. He felt guilty because of that of course, but no matter how hard he had tried to master the choreography, he kept making mistakes.
"Are you really serious about this? If not, then go home or whatever. We don't need any useless people here. Even that lazy baka Jin could get his steps right!"
Tears started coming out from Ueda's eyes as Ryo scolded him. Even Jin stopped whining about him not being a lazy and baka guy when he saw Ueda's tears.
"What a crybaby.." Ryo said for the last time before he left the room. The rest of his band mates tried to comfort him but it only made Ueda cry even harder.
Well, you're sweet in a strange way, I guess. But I have to tell you honestly that I did hate you so much those days. But what I loved the most should be when you comforted me.
Ueda was standing alone at the rooftop. It was such an unlucky day for him. He was late, even Nakamaru came earlier than him, kept making mistakes at the same place, and the worst of all, fell asleep when his manager was giving the usual speech. He was scolded, a lot. He was used to it actually but he was just too sensitive that day. For him every word he got was double the harshness and he couldn't face them all properly just to ask for forgiveness.
"Don't say that you want to end your life here." A voice was suddenly heard from behind so Ueda turned around to see who it was. "Don't be too reckless. But I won't halt your way if you want to do so. It's just...not in this place, please. I want to have a peaceful lunch."
"Ooh, am I disturbing Nishikido - sama's lunch?" he said sarcastically before approaching the exit. His day was already bad enough even without meeting Ryo.
"You know, why don't you tell me what your problem is, maybe I can help." Ryo paused for a while, "after all I am far more talented than you."
Ueda could only stare at Ryo for a while when he heard him. "That's so funny, Nishikido." Ueda said but he did the completely opposite thing as he returned and sat right beside Ryo.
Well... We went through some happy days together too. But I don't want you to remember it all. Why? I want you to remember the bad memories we had so you'll hate me and forget me. Don't remember me, Ryo. It will only hurt you even more.
...
Okay, I lied. I want you to remember the pain I had gone through so you won't forget me forever. I-I'm so afraid now Ryo. I can feel that my time is ending soon. I forced my smile, to ensure everyone but in the end it might be only to encourage myself. I don't want to die this soon, Ryo. But I don't have much choice, right? I am so afraid that people will forget me, but I only want you, just you, to remember me.
Don't cry, Ryo. Ueda Tatsuya who you always called a crybaby didn’t even cry at all so it would be funny to see the strong Nishikido Ryo crying.
This letter is so long. So, I've lied again. Have you realized that the person you've been with all this time was a liar? Ironic, right? But this is my last lie. Continue living your life well, Ryo, I'll be watching you from where I am. And remember me...
With love,
Ueda Tatsuya
(Tat - chan)
p.s.: I've lied, again. I cried a lot Ryo. I'm such a liar, huh? But enjoy your life. I wish for your happiness. ^.^
####
Ryo kept crying when he read the letter but he stopped immediately as he finished reading it. A smile was finally formed in his face. It was not a wide one but it was meaningful. Ryo folded the letter then returned it inside the envelope again slowly and put it inside his pocket. He then walked to see the tomb before walking away. Ueda might have left him forever as a being but he would remain in his heart forever.
Jin was not beside Ryo yet he watched over Ryo secretly when he was reading the letter Ueda left him. His heart was hurt when he saw his best friend crying but when he saw the smile, Jin sighed, relieved. You'll remain here forever, Tat - chan, at least inside Ryo's heart, and mine..
E/N : Just a short fic I happened to make before my short hiatus last time.. :)
Thanks for reading..