When you do the type of job I do, you learn things about the world that no one wants to know. You also learn that most bad things are allowed to happen because people don't want to know what is actually happening in the world. You also learn that there is difference between what uncomfortable truths you are capable of learning/tolerating, and what uncomfortable truths you choose to learn/tolerate. When you learn more than you are capable of, you get hurt. When you choose to learn much less than you are capable of, you are hiding. There is a balance to be found somewhere in between. Such uncomfortable knowledge is a burden, but the more people that share it, the lighter it gets for everyone. The fewer people who hold it, the heavier it gets for the few. Finally, discomfort promotes growth. Nothing changes when everyone is comfortable, or at least pretending to be. Seeing the uncomfortable truth may break that apparent comfort, but it motivates people to make real changes.
I'm always a fan of the ugly truth. In my experience, papering over the truth with white lies or even just omissions makes it that much worse when it finally reveals itself. The problem with “being nice” is more than just the feeling that you can't trust your friends / SO / family - the situation could be objectively worse because you didn't know to change your behavior earlier.
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You also learn that most bad things are allowed to happen because people don't want to know what is actually happening in the world.
You also learn that there is difference between what uncomfortable truths you are capable of learning/tolerating, and what uncomfortable truths you choose to learn/tolerate. When you learn more than you are capable of, you get hurt. When you choose to learn much less than you are capable of, you are hiding. There is a balance to be found somewhere in between. Such uncomfortable knowledge is a burden, but the more people that share it, the lighter it gets for everyone. The fewer people who hold it, the heavier it gets for the few.
Finally, discomfort promotes growth. Nothing changes when everyone is comfortable, or at least pretending to be. Seeing the uncomfortable truth may break that apparent comfort, but it motivates people to make real changes.
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When you don't acknowledge something, you can't resolve it or heal from it.
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