Love to write, scared to show it off

[brookeoflorien]

So, I've just realized that the more I write, the more scared I am to show it to people, at least this month. It's weird...but I thrive off what people think, and some of the prompts I throw together are so weird, that I'm constantly second guessing myself. And it doesn't help that my life is all screwed up now as well

Comments

[huinare]

I've got certain anxiety issues that extended to sharing my writing sometimes, so I can sort of relate to what you say here.

If the prospect of sharing it is causing you to second guess, perhaps writing for "just you" for a while might ease some of the stress...I'm surely not suggesting you not post anything at all (certainly I for one would be kinda bummed out about that); but if you don't have the stress of second guessing to contend with, you might find it easier to write, and consequently produce stuff you feel better sharing. (This is kind of a shot in the dark here since I'm basing it on my own psyche, so feel free to disregard..)

And it doesn't help that my life is all screwed up now as well...

I tend to feel a bit dorky sending internet "hugs," (there's my ability to feel socially awkward on the internet shining through) but they're there if you want 'em. =)

[brookeoflorien]

I wouldn't feel better writing things to share though, because what I always second guess is my slash stories, because of all the arguments I've been in about slash (and a few other things)...and it puts pressure on me. I second guess everything, because people constantly argue that this character wouldn't act that way, or because I don't always take things the obvious way (like my Feanor/Turin story was not Turin from the First Age). Plus I feel even more intimidated with the SWG, because half of them are writers I read from when I was first in the fandom.

*hugs* are always welcome.

[huinare]

Eep, I can see where being in arguments would not help matters...I guess you've posted to more volatile places? I've not made a presence on ff.net and others of the more high-traffic sites so I'm not sure what all goes on there.

I can understand being intimidated with SWG. That was the site that really hooked me and drew me into this bloody fandom and I greatly admire a lot of the people there. One plus side about it is that it's a very civil place. People there don't seem to do drama, that I've observed. While it's hard to get reviews there and I've had to be quite persistent to start worming my way into what is rather a close-knit group, people there are extremely nice, and many are unorthodox. I really doubt you'd get people starting drama about your interpretations of characters etc there..

[brookeoflorien]

dA and FFN (and a few on SWG, though no drama there) ...and also, every message board I've ever been on, I've ended up hurt at least once. Either I don't get along with other people, or there's something about me that annoys people, I haven't figured out which. The only place I've ever been happy for long is dA, and even there I always have fear until somebody posts saying they liked it.

It does seem very civil...I doubt they would either, but at the same time, I can't get over my fears of why should they be any different?

[hhimring]

If you're really worried, I guess it wouldn't hurt keeping some things back a little--not because I think there is a risk of people criticizing you, but because of the overload. Everyone's struggling to keep up with reading and commenting just now.
I thought your idea about Turin was novel and interesting, by the way. Sorry for not saying so...

[brookeoflorien]

True, but then I just worry more that when I do post, people will hate it....I'll figure something out. I'll stop worrying so much when I'm back at school, my test on Wednesday is over, and I have 2 weekends in a row with nothing to do buy lock myself in my dorm room and write, instead of sitting here and trying to deal with my family.

Thank you! I'm still debating posting the story here...do you think I should? I posted it on dA, but was worried that people here would think it was against the card or something.

[hhimring]

This particular b2mem setup here on LJ is new, but from what I know of the way SWG people handle challenges, you're much more likely to get kudos for originality than criticized for doing anything "against the card".
Good luck with the test on Wednesday!

[brookeoflorien]

I went ahead and posted it...so we'll see what happens.
Thank you! It's in Chemistry, so I'm more then a little worried. I'm absolutely awful at Chem.