The Brain vs The Heart - A Battle Royale
Chapter 11
It had been four days and Luke hadn’t heard anything from Reid. He wasn’t really expecting to if he was honest with himself. He was keeping the promise he had made to himself though not to call him, no matter how much he wanted to. He was done being the guy that got walked on and went back for more. That didn’t make it any less hard for Luke to be at his cottage without Reid. Even though the doctor had only been there for three days, and four nights…..Luke felt his presence everywhere. It was the worst in his bedroom. Luke knew he should probably hate Reid, and he was angry, but that hadn’t stopped him from falling into his bed after he’d gotten back from Dallas and inhaling the scent Reid had left behind. Luke had yet to wash the sheets.
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Ethan was released to go home from the hospital that day. It was after just nine total days at Memorial and Luke was so relieved. Each member of the family had signed his cast while visiting him during his stay. Luke had been there to visit him every day before and after work. He called the nurses each time first to make sure his mother wasn’t there. He knew it was childish to avoid her, he just didn’t have the strength to deal with her and if that made him a coward and a child then so be it. On one visit to the hospital Ethan told Luke about how the nurses were calling him a miracle kid. He wanted to know what that meant.
“It means you are so special that you had the very best doctor in the whole country come and make sure you would get better.”
“That’s Dr. Reid right?”
“Yep, sure is buddy.”
“I like him.”
Luke leaned down and whispered “don’t tell anybody but….me too” and winked at him as he leaned back up.
“But mommy seems really glad he is gone. I don’t think she likes him like we do. Was she not happy he made me better?”
“Oh no…no… don’t ever think that. She is soooo glad you are better. She’s just also glad that Dr. Oliver got to go back home so he could help other people like you. Never ever doubt how much everyone in this family loves you kiddo.”
“Is she still mad at you Luke? I wish you would come over more. I miss playing candy land and crazy eights.”
“Yeah, sorry, I think she’s still mad, but I tell you what, after you get to go home from the hospital we can plan a special day just you and me. You can come over, spend the night and we’ll play candy land and eat pizza and ice cream. How does that sound?”
“Sounds cool. You’re the best big brother ever.”
“And you’re the best little brother ever.”
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Luke kept busy by spending at least twelve hours every day at Grimaldi shipping. He was determined to make at least one thing in his life a success. Since the whole breakup with Noah then rededication to keeping the company going, business had been good. He didn’t want to let that falter again. Even though Luke had known for about a month that Damian was actually alive, he wanted to keep the business to himself now. He had figured out he was actually pretty smart and personable when it came to running the business. Who knew… he marveled. He was also pleasantly surprised that people seemed to be charmed by him. He couldn’t understand how his mom didn’t see how much more confident he had become since breaking things off with Noah. The blinders she has on will have to be stripped off at some point because I am not going backwards in my life anymore…. so no more feeling sorry for yourself.
At the end of his fourth day sans Reid, Luke was tired and starting to feel run down. Too many long days in a row he mused. He thought he may need to take the morning off tomorrow. As he walked up to his door he saw a light on inside and didn’t remember leaving one on that morning. He sincerely hoped it wasn’t a visit from some member of his family unless they brought Ethan. He didn’t have the energy to be the happy I’ll always be there for you Luke. Worse yet, if it was Lily he might say some things to her he would never be able to take back. He was itching to have it out with someone and if she became handy he couldn’t help what came out of his mouth. He opened the door cautiously. What he found was Reid inside, sitting on his couch.
“How the hell did you get in here?”
Reid held up the spare key Luke had given him that he had conveniently forgotten to give back.
“Well, what do you want?”
“I want to talk to you.” Reid looked at Luke and could tell he wasn’t going to make it easy on him. He didn’t blame Luke one bit.
Luke stood his ground. He kept his expression blank. He wanted to make sure Reid understood how angry and hurt he was, not to mention bitter about being rejected so easily. At the same time he didn’t want to give too much emotion away. If Reid knew how it affected him to see the doctor back in his cottage…… “Fine, say what you came here to say, I’ll completely ignore whatever it is, you can leave and we can both go back to not talking to each other on opposite ends of the country.”
Reid could see Luke wasn’t going to give him an inch. He needed to get straight to the point. “I’ve known that I was gay since I was nine years old. And I can assure you that in all that time I never hid, apologized for or was ashamed of who I am.”
“That I can believe.” I wonder where he’s going with this….
“But that doesn’t mean I wasn’t terrified.” He looked into Luke’s eyes hoping he would believe what he was going to say next. “I’m sorry you had a hard time. It doesn’t make you any less of a person. If anything it makes you more of one because you got through it.”
“But you want nothing to do with a drunk is that it?”
“No, that’s not it. I freaked out. I know that’s no excuse but it’s the truth.” Reid stood and began to pace the room. “I’m not any good at this but I’m going to try” he said to himself almost as much as it was meant for Luke. “You’re here, so just do it” Reid muttered under his breath. He took a deep breath, willing himself the courage to say the things he had never said to another human being, things he never thought he would want to say. His heart just prayed Luke would be receptive. “I am more sorry than you will ever know that I hurt you the way I did. I never want to be that guy for you. I’m here now to try and fix it, if I’m not too late. I….Luke, I want to be with you. I think you want to be with me, or at least you did before I was such a colossal ass.”
Luke didn’t smile at Reid’s attempt at a joke, even though part of him wanted to. A small bubble of hope did however begin to rise in Luke. He wanted to believe Reid, wanted to trust him. But he didn’t react, mostly because he also heard his mother’s voice in the back of his head about mistake after mistake she kept telling him he was making. “There is so much I don’t know about you.”
Reid laid himself out, every emotion he was feeling in the open for the first time in his life. “If you’ll let me, I’d like to show you.”
Luke saw it, exactly what Reid was offering him. He knew instinctively what a gift it was. The hell with what my mother thinks. I want this….no, I need this. Luke took a deep breath, closed his eyes and nodded yes.
Reid was over to him in a matter of seconds. He grabbed Luke’s shoulders and crushed his lips down onto Luke’s with a force that packed a very passionate punch.
Luke found himself being swept up in the moment but tried very hard to fight for some control. “Reid” he murmured against his lips. “Reid” he said again pulling away a little and leaning his forehead to continue some contact with the doctor. “We need….I need to take this slower. I do want to be with you, I can’t deny that. But….well….I never thought I would be with anyone other than Noah….and the other day, maybe we moved too fast.”
The mention of Luke’s ex made Reid very wary. It also made him take a step back and break contact between the two of them. The last thing he wanted was to be lumped in with that idiot. He was also worried if he gave Luke the chance to think things over he might change his mind about giving him a second chance and Reid knew he wouldn’t be able to handle that. “Patience is not my best event.”
“Well, how about this” Luke said as he grabbed onto Reid’s hands making sure they were touching. He desperately needed the contact. He wanted to be certain his message would get across just how much he wanted to be with the older man. “How about if I give you some encouragement along the way, would that help?”
Reid raised an eyebrow questioning exactly what Luke had in mind. Luke leaned back in and they began to kiss again, Luke trying to keep things light, but Reid quickly deepening the kisses and grabbing a hold of Luke’s waist. Luke let himself get lost in the pleasure of feeling so wanted by someone. Reid made him feel things he had never felt before, not even with Noah. This was all so much more primal, instinctive and natural. But Luke also knew that just five days ago Reid had all but thrown him away because of his doubts or fears or whatever. Reid started to unbutton Luke’s shirt before Luke put on the breaks again. “Reid….” Luke was barely able to get out his name, his entire body shaking, every nerve ending on high alert ready to enjoy the sensations Reid was providing.
“Ok ok ok, I’m stopping.” He looked at Luke with such fire in his eyes the young man couldn’t help but blush under his intense gaze. Luke was shaking so hard from all the emotions he was feeling he couldn’t re-button his own shirt.
Reid smiled at Luke, seeing he wasn’t the only one who was so affected by the moment. Reid marveled at how turned on he was when all they had done was kiss. He knew what a gift he had been given by Luke in allowing him back in. He would do whatever it took to make it up to Luke, even if that meant to wait until he was ready for whatever came next. “Let me get that for you” he whispered moving Luke’s hands away. He refastened each button, but not before placing a soft kiss along Luke’s chest one at a time until the shirt was completely redone.
Be still my beating heart…… Brain 5 ½, Heart 5 ½