The Brain vs The Heart - A Battle Royale
Chapter 28
Luke’s anger fueled him as he stared down out his office window at Chris cowering off to his car then speeding away. Suddenly spent, he plopped down in his office chair exhausted. He felt like he’d just gone twenty rounds in a boxing ring. The adrenalin was starting to wane and his hands were shaking. He felt out of breath and his heart was thundering against his chest. He couldn’t believe all the things he’d said to Chris, justified or not. He didn’t want anyone to die, of course he didn’t, but the guy just wouldn’t let up. Luke felt tears start to dot his cheeks and wiped them away angrily. Chris Hughes did not deserve his tears. With a trembling hand Luke picked up the phone, which felt like it weighted fifty pounds, hoping Reid would be in his office.
“Oliver”
Sniffing loudly Luke broke down with a sob. “Oh God, thank you for being there.”
Reid’s breath caught in his lungs, panic instantly seizing his heart. “What the hell is the matter Luke?”
“I just had a major run-in with Chris Hughes over his illness.”
A huge sigh of relief poured from Reid’s lips. “That’s all? I thought there might be an actual problem. Don’t scare me like that.”
Luke smiled briefly through his tears. His voice still had a hitch in it. “Reid, he was yelling and accusing us of all kinds of ridiculous things and…..and I just lost it…..I said horrible things to him.”
Reid could tell Luke was upset. The younger man’s huge heart was one of the things that had inexplicably drawn him in from the beginning for some crazy reason. He reached inside himself for the supportive boyfriend gene he knew he hadn’t been born with, and he did his best to help even though he didn’t really understand the problem. “What did you say?”
“That I didn’t care if he died…..and that if he tried to do anything to you or the rest of my family I would make his final days as miserable as possible.”
Reid laughed. So much for supporting and caring he thought to himself. “And that’s a problem why?”
Luke let out a laugh as well “Reid.”
“What? Sounds to me like you went all Grimaldi on his ass. Wish I’d have been there to see it. Is it wrong that I’m a little bit turned on right now? I’ve never been the damsel in distress before. I wish I could have listened to you defending my honor.”
Luke’s smile continued to grow. He let out a short sniffle and wiped his face. “I’m so glad you picked up the phone. I really needed you to be there for me to talk to.”
Reid leaned back in his chair, proud that he had somehow managed to say the right thing and not turn into a sniveling idiot doing it. “I’m always going to be here Luke, always.”
“Yeah, I’m starting to believe you.”
Reid nodded at the assuredness in Luke’s voice. “Good. Feeling better?”
“Yes, much….. thank you.”
“Excellent. Now, can you give me the full play by play because I’d really like to relive it tonight when I plan to jerk off.”
“Oh man, Reid, you cannot be serious.” Luke was laughing, and Reid was sure blushing as well, on the other end of the phone. The laughter sounded so much better than the crying had. Reid loved that he was able to do that for Luke. It made his heart swell and ache all at the same time.
“Hot Luciano…….” Reid uttered in a tone that came through the line all smoky and steaming. “Seriously hot…..I’m telling you.”
-----
The rest of Friday and all of Saturday came and went without incident. As tempted as Luke had been to fly down to Dallas Saturday night he just didn’t get all his work accomplished early enough. He was working overtime to put the finishing touches on his new business proposal. With each passing day he felt more strongly about the merits of the direction he wanted to take Grimaldi shipping in. It wasn’t a sure thing yet but it was important to him to have everything in place to jump in full speed ahead if he decided to. He wouldn’t be able to work on Monday due to his appointment in Houston with one of the six nephrologists Reid had approved of. All of those thing added together meant instead of curling up next to his boyfriend after a long hard day, he had to crawl into bed by himself after packing and call Reid on the phone.
“I miss you”
“It’s been less than 48 hours Snyder. I’m not that great.”
“You are to me Reid.”
“Yeah, and like other members of your family, you probably need your head examined.”
“You’re not funny doctor.”
“I’m a little bit funny.”
No, you’re a little bit cute.”
“That’s fine, I’ll take it.”
“Goodnight Reid. I’ll see you in the morning.”
“I’m looking forward to it.”
-----
Luke had only been at Reid’s for an hour when the page came. They were curled up on the couch, legs intertwined, lazily kissing and exploring each other with their hands, feeling like they had all the time in the world. Reid looked down at his pager and immediately went into doctor mode, pushing himself up off Luke. His call to the hospital was short and concise.
“No, no, I’m glad you called. Yes I remember him. Of course. Push the IV and have the anesthesiologist get the ketamine into his system right away. I want the OR and patient ready for me without delay. I will be there within the half hour.” When Reid hung up the phone he ran over to the closet to grab his coat, thoughts of nothing but the brain running like index cards through his memory bank. It was Luke’s voice that brought him back to their moment and what had been a tranquil snuggle session on his couch.
“Do you know how long you’ll be?”
Reid frowned and looked down at his hands. “I don’t. Sorry.”
“Don’t apologize. You go do your thing. I’m not going anywhere.”
Reid rushed back and gave Luke a quick but passionate kiss that held promise of his return.
-----
It never got easier, losing a patient. It was worse when it was someone he had already saved from the brink once before. There was nothing Reid could have done really. The aneurysm had blown big and vicious. Reid threw his cap and surgical mask into the bucket wanting dearly to punch something. He would have if he could do it without harming his livelihood. He slumped himself down on a bench instead and swore under his breath. Sue came in shortly after. Her motions were eerily similar to what Reid’s had been. She looked over to him after five minutes of shared silence.
“There was nothing you could have done doctor.”
Reid merely grumbled and nodded his head once.
“I know your propensity to stay as sullen as possible and make everyone miserable, but you shouldn’t be alone.” She stopped herself, not used to this new turn their, dare she say friendship, had taken. She was uncomfortable trying to comfort him, and knew that if she was uncomfortable then Reid had to be down-right mortified. She almost got up to walk away but thought better of it and then continued. “My shift is supposed to be over in about a half hour. My husband and kids are probably watching the Cowboys game at home. I suppose I could tolerate you for long enough if you cared to join us so you won’t have to go back to your place and the silence there.”
A ghost of a smile breezed across Reid’s face. It disappeared as quickly as it had appeared. “Luke’s actually there.”
Sue was relieved, it was written all over her face. Reid wasn’t sure if it was because Luke was in town or because she didn’t actually have to have him in her house now. “Good" she said. "You should go home to him then. He’ll take care of you. He definitely seems the type.”
“I don’t know the first thing about letting anyone take care of me. I’ve been doing it myself for the better part of my life. What the hell am I supposed to do?”
“I think you’ll be surprised how easy it might be, with the right person at least. You walk in, open your arms, and let him do the rest.”
“That doesn’t sound easy at all.”
“Yeah, well…..It will be for him. Let him do that for you.”
“Maybe I’ll just go up to my office. Get some work done. I can’t talk about this with him.”
“Go home doctor. He clearly already knows what a pain in the ass you are and still wants to be with you.” Sue patted Reid’s knee before standing up and stretching her limbs. “Let him.”
-----
The sun was setting as Reid walked into his house. Luke didn’t look like he’d moved from the spot he’d been in when Reid had left hours before. The only difference was he had several sheets of paper laid on and out in front of him. “I see you’ve made good use of your time alone.”
Luke turned and smiled serenely at Reid. “Ah, the doctor returns. That was actually faster than I was expecting. You’re so brilliant things went that well?” Luke saw the answer etched like marble on Reid’s beautiful face as soon as the words were out of his lips. He walked over to Reid and led him to the couch, scooping up the now meaningless papers and throwing them on the floor. He stroked Reid’s cheek and kissed his forehead. “Tell me about it.”
The words wouldn’t come. His throat closed up at the sight of how comforting Luke could be without ever hearing a word spoken. He tried to hold the emotion out, fought to keep the tears at bay. He hadn’t cried over a patient in years. Luke just continued to murmur words of consoling, caresses of sympathy. Finally Reid pulled back and Luke waited for him to speak. Instead, Reid just opened his arms. Luke dove in like their lives depended on it. Luke clung to Reid, petting the back of his hair and placing kisses on his neck and shoulder.
“I am so sorry Reid. So, so, sorry. If there is anything I can do, please just tell me. I’m here for you.”
Reid didn’t talk for a long time. He just let Luke hold him in an attempt to wash away all the pain. Eventually after what seemed like hours but was only about ten minutes Reid began to tell the story of Joseph Alexander, the 34 year old music teacher and father of two. He spoke of his surgery to remove blood clots three years earlier, one of the first major accomplishments Reid had written about after coming to Dallas. He reminisced about the Christmas cards the family ridiculously sent him each year after thanking him. He talked about the aneurysm that took his life with complete apathy to Reid’s great skill as a surgeon, not even giving him a chance to fix things. Through it all, Luke held on to Reid, his hand, his arm, his leg, his face, never breaking contact with at least some part of Reid’s body. He smiled at Reid and cried the tears Reid wouldn’t allow to fall. He took all of Reid’s pain and allowed it to flow out his own soul. When Reid’s story had run its course he took a deep breath and brushed away a single tear from Luke’s cheek with his thumb. He replaced the moisture from that spot with a gentle kiss. He pulled back and rested his head on Luke’s. “Thank you” Reid said simply. I love you he thought.
Reid heart is breaking and filling up all at the same time….. Brain 9 ½, Heart 18 ½