Wednesday Witterings

[bronchitikat]

The State of the Union

The other day someone was telling me about how they are in a band - four guys, one girl, & how the girl has "gone out" with the other three & is now (living) with him, & he seemed to think it was ok, & normal*.  Then, while on holiday, the Pastor of the church we visited said that a while after he'd moved into their

Comments

Ta muchly

[bronchitikat]

There now, I thought it was probably something like that, just that you hadn't responded to my email of yesterday. Or if you have it hasn't come through yet cos I can't, currently, access my email server!

Will investigate.

Re: Ta muchly

[papertowlbtrfly]

Sorry, I was fighting like a mad woman to keep up with my courseload these last few days :)

[papertowlbtrfly]

I think it may have alot to do with social pressure.
I've never been married, and somehow this makes me inferior...as if there is something horridly wrong with me that would render me unmarriable. I could have married Bill, course, I would also prolly be in debt from a divorce now if I had. Even amongst my divorced friends, I'm seen as "poor Sarah". I think for most people, marriage is seen only as a reflection of ones social status. As for sex, well yeah, I do it. It's usually a couple of months between, but honestly, it has to be done. I mean, find me a guy who would stay with a girl if she didn't? They simply dont exist. It sucks and I object, but I look at it the same way I look at having to get dressed up for a job interview or social event: right or wrong,when it's the world against you, you loose. I do want to be married someday, so what else am I to do ?

[bronchitikat]

I think the social pressure which used to be "to get married" is now "to have a partner". Singleness is seen as failure - hence the poor girls who are so desperate (or drunk) by the end of the evening that they'll go with almost anyone.

I have friends in their 70s, & 80s, who are still single & have lived fullfilled (& v busy) llves. Mind you, one of them says she still wouldn't mind having a man around (hard as it would be to alter her habits now!)

& it is possible to manage without sex - we both did for the first 24/25 years (til we got married) & subsequently at times when the Depression (usually mine) has gotten too bad. Mind you, it's a lot easier to manage if you haven't started! & the pressures to have sex today are just ridiculous, no wonder AIDs & all the other STDs are so rampant.

As for "if it's the world against you, you loose" - ok, sometimes, but "If God is for us, who can (successfully) be against us?" Romans 8 (near the end!) Which isn't to say it isn't tough - whatever the issue.

[papertowlbtrfly]

Oh, it sounds odd, but I could go without it for the rest of my life and be happy. Jayson on the other hand...
And yeah, i knew that was coming. Really though, I don't think I want to be alone later in life. Btw, I do think the whole business is somewhat misogynistic when you think about it :(

[bronchitikat]

I'm not so sure that marriage is misogynistic, more like the way society is arranged. & it's not nearly as bad now as it was even 100 years ago. Now single women do have career options, back in the time of Dickens, or Jane Austin, the ONLY option (read respectable option) was marriage.

Having said which, I quite enjoy not having to be the one with the final responsibility - hard as it can be to go along with some decisions!

& I sometimes think H could more happily do without than me!