It Is... but Isn't What You Think, All the Same :)
We Have a Situation
Word Count: 3,648
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Nico/Dani
Spoilers: References something from 1x11, but goes AU in the middle of 1x06.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything. I just break things.
Summary: She thinks he thinks everything is a situation. Trouble is, he's right. She just doesn't know it yet.
Author's Note: We pick up... right where I left off. I have been assessing this carefully, and I think that, given the set up I've worked on for the past few chapters, the end is truly in sight now. Probably... two chapters, depending on where I break up the next few events. It'll be nice to have this wrapped up, at least as much as it can be. :)
A Roller Coaster
"For a few hours, perhaps, but not for the length or purpose you're implying," Nico objected immediately. He shook his head, looking out to where the horses had disappeared from sight. Dani waited. She needed an explanation. Now. She couldn't believe that he was going to do that to her, but then she didn't know what to think right now. Sometimes Nico could be almost too thoughtful, in that he thought he knew what was best-to push her away. "Danielle, the idea was for you to have some time to think. This isn't-the idea was to let you have time alone. There is no staff here on a permanent basis. The house is cleaned once a week and the grounds maintained, that's all. It would be irresponsible of me to leave you here on your own while your ankle is still healing. I wanted you to have time to-I didn't bring you here so that we could-We have come too far to jeopardize this by jumping into bed together just because you're a 'free' woman. The other reason I selected this place was because the house is large enough for us both to be here without pressure from the close quarters."
Dani let out a breath, shaking her head. She couldn't believe she'd done that. She'd overreacted. Again. She couldn't seem to stop right now. "I did it again. And you were in the middle of doing something incredibly thoughtful for me. I am such an idiot. You're right. I didn't want to-I do want to be with you, but you have a point about the jumping into bed thing. You know I did that once, and I didn't want to do it again. I was-oh, god, I was freaking out about that and I still got upset about the idea of you leaving."
He looked at her, smiling sadly. "Quit beating yourself for being so perceptive. I was planning on leaving. I need to go back into town to speak to the caretakers and pick up some supplies. I wanted you to stay here while I took care of that. In that sense, yes, I was leaving you here."
She made a face. She didn't want to be left behind. "Nico, if you need to get us groceries, I should go with you."
"You can make a list," he told her, taking her back to the car. "It'll be easier for me to do what I need to do if I go alone, and I think you should take some time to adjust to being here. You do seem rather... agitated. You're not experiencing prairie fever, are you?"
She elbowed him, but she didn't hit him hard. "No. It took weeks of isolation for people to reach that point of mental breakdown, and we've only been out here a few minutes."
"You don't like the idea of being out here alone, though, clearly," he said, opening her door for her. She sat down, glaring at him. "Is it the distance from 'civilization' as you're accustomed to it?"
"I can live my life without shopping malls and coffee bars and convenience stores, if that's what you're asking," she answered as he walked around the car. She shut her door, but it didn't quite slam like she'd wanted it to. She could survive the outdoors. She wasn't that hopeless of a city girl. What would he know about this kind of life? It wasn't like he was some kind of expert, either. He'd been raised in Pittsburgh and lived in New York-oh, but then she was overlooking his SEAL training. He had been trained to survive remote and hostile conditions. "I'm surprised you're willing to be out here. What about all of your toys? The phone, the tablet, the laptop? Aren't they going to be useless out here?"
"Mobile broadband," he reminded her as he got in the car. She rolled her eyes. He started the engine and drove them up to the house. She was able to get a good look at it this time. Now she could see it-that expensive stone instead of brick, the patterning of the roof tiles, the lawn sculptures-this place had been built by someone who had more money than practicality. It was a gorgeous house, really, but it didn't belong here.
Nico parked the car in front of the house and got out again. She continued to look around, taking it all in. It was beautiful, not completely tasteless even if it was somewhat of an anachronism. He helped her out of the car and walked her up to the front door.
Dani blinked as she got a look inside. It was like she'd stepped into a painting of a country house, only the type that belonged to generations of wealthy and influential families. Above the fireplace was a painting of the family-Dani's first look at Marshall Pittman-where Juliette was barely a teen. She had darker hair then, a stronger resemblance to her mother and uncle. Had the girl been trying to make that go away... or had the artist exaggerated it?
"I thought they didn't use this place."
"A few years ago, the family was photographed here. Some piece on the quiet life enjoyed by the very rich."
"Does it ever bother you that your sister has this much money?"
"We grew up without it," Nico began. "It wasn't something I ever thought was that important, but Gabriella thought that it would solve everything and basically sold herself to the highest bidder when she could. She traded her beauty for a lifetime of imprisonment in an unhappy marriage. The money didn't change anything."
Dani sighed. He moved away, stopped, and then he took her with him to the next room. The kitchen looked like it had been built for a professional cook-she supposed that it should have been since the Pittmans had to have someone who did that for them. "My kitchen suddenly feels very small."
"I think that has more to do with the occupancy than the square footage."
She nodded. Considering the crowd that they'd eaten breakfast with this morning, she didn't disagree. "I suppose we should make the list."
"It can wait," Nico said. "We'll finish the tour of the house first. You can choose a room, familiarize yourself with the layout, and then I will run the errands I need to take care of."
That was what he thought. She let him guide her into another room, but at the same time, she was figuring out how to outmaneuver him. She didn't intend to let him go without her. "Let me guess. This was Juliette's room?"
"For the photo op, yes. She took one look at this one and refused to go in. She took the 'guest' room and forced her parents to share one for the first time in years," Nico went on, smiling a little as he moved them to the next doorway.
"This isn't a bedroom. Okay, yes, I'm sure I needed to be able to know where this was, but..." Dani trailed off, staring at the jacuzzi tub that looked like it was made out of high quality marble. It was huge, big enough for more than one person, but that bath was all hers. She ran her hand along the edge of the tub. "You know, a person could drown in that thing. Does it do that massage thing? I bet it does."
"Should I be jealous now?" he asked, amused. She looked back at him, laughing. She sat on the edge of the tub and tried to keep her hand from turning on the faucet. A bath sounded really good. A bubble bath even better. It had been hell trying to do a shower with her ankle, and she could have tried a bath before, but this one just called to her.
"No, but I think I'm okay with you leaving me alone for a while."
He smiled back at her. "Under the sink. Gabriella's bath stuff should all be there."
Dani grinned.
Nico set down the groceries on the counter, frowning slightly as he did. The errands had taken longer than he expected, and he was hours later than he had planned on. He would have expected her to be waiting in ambush for him, again, as usual. He walked to the edge of the room and called out to her. "Danielle?"
He got no response. He didn't know if she was sleeping-if she was, he didn't want to wake her. He doubted she'd gotten much rest the night before, up worrying about her children and him and his niece. She should rest. He checked two of the bedrooms and winced when he realized that she had to still be in the bathroom.
If she wasn't answering him...
He pushed open the bathroom door. "Danielle?"
Silence, except for a slight lapping of the water against the edge of the tub. The jets weren't running right now. He looked down at her. Her eyes were closed, and she was far too still for his liking. He reached over and shook her shoulder, gently at first but then with more pressure as she didn't stir.
"What? Nico?" she asked, frowning as she stirred. Relieved, he turned to find her a towel. "I think I fell asleep in there."
"You did," Nico agreed, not really wanting to think about the conclusion his mind had jumped to when he first saw her in the bathtub. She had been asleep, but she looked more like she was dead. "That can be dangerous."
"I'm fine. Just groggy," she said, taking the towel he held out to her. "Nico, are you... What's wrong? If it's a problem with seeing me naked-"
"You are a beautiful woman with an equally beautiful mind," he told her. "I am not at all uncomfortable with that."
"But you can't look at me right now."
"Being respectful is not the same as fear of the naked human form," he said, shaking his head. He did not want to discuss the other reaction he'd had. "If you want me to stare, I suppose I could, but I was actually looking for you since I brought back dinner."
"You are so embarrassed. It's cute," she said, and he frowned as he looked back at her. She had wrapped the towel around her and was trying to get out of the tub. He moved over to help her, steadying her for a second. She looked up at him with a shy smile. "Thank you."
He nodded. Now, of course, he was incredibly aware that she had nothing on but that towel. Water was running down her skin, dripping from her hair. "I'm going to make sure that it doesn't get cold and put away the rest of the groceries. You can dry off and get dressed."
She hesitated like she might disagree with him for a moment, but she ended up nodding. "Pass me another towel for my hair, please?"
He gave her one before leaving the room. Walking back to the kitchen, he tried to get a hold on the emotions circling in the wake of the last few minutes. He'd gone from fear that she was gone to something completely different, and he needed to sort them out. His reaction to her loss shouldn't have surprised him that much-they had a connection. They were dating, if not yet physically intimate, and he knew that she'd said something that suggested that her feelings went deep, deep enough to be love. He had never done much analysis of his feelings-never wanted to-but that moment when he thought she had succumbed to the bathwater... He couldn't lose her. That much was clear. She had gotten in when he hadn't wanted anyone to, despite all of his attempts to keep her out, and he knew that it was dangerous for both of them. She should have let him push her away. He should have said no.
Then again, the emotions might still have been there beyond that.
He went to the counter and took the food from the bags, storing them away for later use. He had already dealt with the refrigerated items before he went looking for her-he wasn't entirely sure whether that was good or bad. In light of the fact that nothing had happened, it seemed fine, but if she had been drowning, then he shouldn't have delayed anything.
He shouldn't have left. Period.
"Nico?" she asked, and he turned around again. This time she had on a set of her loose pajamas, the kind he always caught her in when he showed up late at night. That was a relief. "What's for dinner?"
"Sit down. I'll get you a plate," he told her. "I know we brought your crutches, so-"
"So I'll use them tomorrow," she finished. "We're just having dinner. I'll be sitting for that. Not a big deal."
He shook his head as he dished up the plate for her, carrying it and a set of silverware over to the dining table. "You should take better care of yourself."
"And you should take your own advice," she said, picking up her fork. "You've got to be just as tired as I am, Nico. But you never seem to sleep."
He got his own plate and sat down with it. "When I was younger, nights were... difficult. We were always waiting for my father's latest rage. Sometimes he'd get set off just seeing us sleep. I got used to watching over Gabriella, to sitting up and listening for the front door to open, for the sounds that told me what mood he was in. Then, when I joined the Navy, it was about watching for the enemy. Always being on guard. Now it's phone calls at any time of the night. I learned to get by with very little sleep. I do sleep when I get the chance, but I can't actually remember sleeping through a whole night in years."
"Because of the hyper-vigilance or the nightmares?"
"Both," he answered. "That's why you should have the master bedroom, the better bed. I won't hardly use the other one."
"You should."
"I'll try, but I'm not going to promise you anything."
She had more or less expected Nico's admission that he didn't sleep, but that didn't mean that she liked it. She wanted to be able to give him the kind of peace of mind he needed to sleep through the night, but after all he'd been through, the way he'd trained himself to do it, she doubted that there was anything she could do. Be there for him, help him build good memories-though with the way the two of them could fight, even that was somewhat debatable. She sighed.
She went to reach for her drink and realized that she didn't even have a glass. That was no good. She sat back, and then he was on his feet, going to the cupboard again for glasses. He got them each some water and returned to the table. She took the glass from him with a smile.
"Thank you."
"You would have gotten up for it yourself in a second," he said, going back to his food. She was reminded of what Juliette had told her about their time at the penthouse-about being surprised by seeing her uncle eat, and Dani had to wonder if there was something to that, something deep rooted like with his sleep habits.
She decided not to push. That was a question that she didn't really need answered, and as long as he was with her, he did seem willing to eat. That would have to be enough. There was something else that she thought she'd rather ask him about, though she didn't think it would go over any better than the other question. It could wait, at least until after dinner. They could have a nice meal, and then... then it would be time to deal with the elephant in the room.
"So... about the keychains you gave my children earlier. You said you would explain later. It's later," she began, and Nico nodded. He reached for his water glass and took a sip.
"Yes. It is. They are, essentially, panic buttons," Nico explained, and Dani stared at him. Why did her children need panic buttons? He reached over and touched her hand. "It is an extra precaution. I think I am probably overreacting, but I always try to err on the side of caution. Lindsay has been... hassled by a boy who thinks that they should be dating. She disagrees."
Dani frowned. "I... I don't-she didn't say anything to me."
"She wants to handle the situation on her own, much like you would. I did think she held her own against him, but as he may have failed to get the message she gave him yesterday, I had a security detail added to both your children and gave them the keychains. This should blow over, but I would not have felt right if I failed to protect them."
Dani pushed aside her mostly finished plate and got up. She needed to move. "My daughter has a stalker and you didn't tell me?"
Nico rose and put his hands on her shoulders, guiding her over to the couch. "I learned of the situation yesterday morning. I did delay speaking to you about it. I was going to address it that night, but then-"
"I showed up at the stadium, accused you of meddling in my divorce, Xeno walked in on us, we came home, you got a call-about Gabriella, I assume-and I signed the papers," she said, shaking her head. "We really don't get a break, do we?"
He sat down and pulled her down with him. "This is our break, Danielle."
She let out a breath. "I don't know that we're getting any kind of break right now. You showed me the horses, and I freaked out. I took a bath, and you freaked out."
"I was not embarrassed."
"I know. I figured it out. You were scared."
He frowned at her. "That's a very confrontational approach, Dr. Santino."
She winced at the change of address. "You're right. It put you on the defensive. I'm sorry. It just... I was toweling off my hair earlier, and I realized I'd assumed the wrong thing again. You didn't-you were worried, not ashamed or embarrassed or anything like that. I didn't even think about that when I got into the bath."
"Nor did I, but I was gone for longer than anticipated," he said as he started to get up, but she grabbed hold of him, trying to stop him.
"You're not... blaming yourself, are you?"
"Must we do this? I don't even know why I jumped to that conclusion, and you are clearly fine, so it is not something that needs to be discussed further."
"I can't promise you that I'll never leave you. It's unrealistic, and you'd just get angry with me for trying," she said, and he frowned at her again. She shook her head. She didn't want to fight. She really did want this break, time to sort out both of their heads. "I won't do that. I have to fight not to tell my kids that-they don't ask me as much these days, though with the divorce I did have to reassure them-and I know that's what I want. I want to promise that I will never leave. The promise can only go so far as I would never choose to leave, but I can't control all of life, can't say that I won't get hit by a bus tomorrow or something like that."
"Are you promising me that you won't choose to leave?"
"I want to. I want to make that promise," she admitted. "Nico, I... From what little I know of your past, everything I learn about you, I want to be that person that never leaves you, the one that doesn't abandon you, the one who can be strong for you so that you can have one moment when you're not being strong for everyone else."
"You do realize you need the exact same thing."
"Maybe that's what makes us right for each other-not that we're one more person to be strong for-but that we're able to be 'weak' with each other. You don't have to be strong for me because I already know you're strong, and you know I'm stubborn."
He leaned back against the couch, and she put her head on his chest. "I do want to make that promise, Nico. I want you to feel like you can breathe, like you can take a break just for a moment. That you can be human. I don't want to be a nag or push you, though I do like challenging you because you challenge me. This is the most equal relationship I've ever been in in my life."
"But I know everything about you and you know little of me. You said so yourself."
"I'm enough of a therapist to read between a lot of your lines."
He laced his fingers in hers. "So if I told you to take better care of yourself and not fall asleep in bathtubs...?"
"Yeah, I love you, too, Nico."
Chapter Forty