Part
Title: Part
Pairing: YunJae
Rating: PG (Warning: Character Death)
Word Count: 574
Disclaimer: Don’t own anything.
♥♥♥
Yunho-ah.
“Will you remember me?”
“Of course I will, love.”
Fingers entwined, lips locked in precious embrace.
I never thought that I would have to leave you, not in this way.
Not when we got through all the distance in those years.
“I miss you.”
Both voices sounded at the same time.
Some things never change despite the miles between.
So many times, I’ve asked why.
I was so angry, because why me?
“Go away.” Jaejoong spat, emotionless.
The face that had always been telling of its emotions suddenly appearing blank.
That was the thing that scared Yunho the most.
I tried to push you away, but Yunho-ah, why are you so stubborn?
And why can’t my heart stop aching when I’m away from you?
“No,” Yunho whispered into the air.
“No, I won’t go.”
I was selfish - don’t try to defend me, I know I was.
I didn’t want you to go at all.
Harsh breaths. Tears.
Two forms wrapped around each other so tightly it seemed like one silhouette.
Trembling in the dark.
I love you, Yunho-ah.
Even if it was a short time, even if we weren’t able to go out onto the streets and tell everyone.
I’ll love you till my last breath and beyond death itself.
Withered hands, shrunken fingers.
Yunho held them cautiously, and pressed them to his lips.
“Fight for me, Jae.”
Thank you for all the times you’ve held on to me,
Met all my whimsical demands and calmed my insecurities.
“NO! NO! TRY AGAIN!”
Yunho shouted at the doctor, struggling against his bandmates’ hold.
Your love walked me through this life and I’m grateful for it.
He turned and buried his face in the crook of Changmin’s neck,
Whispering brokenly,
“He said he wouldn’t let go of me.”
But now I want you to let go of me.
Black and white.
And a body that only looked like Jaejoong was asleep.
Yunho wished he didn’t know it was only make-up.
I know it’s easy for me to say,
When I was the one who said you can’t let go till I did.
Spin. Swirl. Crash and burn.
Because when he shut his eyes, all he saw were Jaejoong’s eyes and their linked hands.
But now I let you go, Yunho-ah.
Don’t come with me.
“ARE YOU CRAZY?”
The dongsaeng’s rage felt surreal, muffled, and faraway.
When he tried to focus his eyes on them, he could almost taste their despair in the air.
Live for me, please.
You’ve never denied me anything, don’t start now.
“It’s so, so hard, Jae.”
He whispered into the darkness,
“Do you know there’s a Jaejoong-sized hole in my heart?”
Breathe for me.
He got up one day and dressed up.
Walk for me.
Blossoms. Leaves. Sun.
The park where Jaejoong used to frequent.
He turned back to his apartment.
See for me.
Coffee. Crossiants. Rough wooden tables.
Sat at the café they loved without bolting immediately.
Be happy for me.
Called Junsu, spoke to Changmin, and visited Yoochun
Without flinching at every single moment with Jae brought to mind.
Laughed, joked, talked.
Remember me and love.
Yunho stood in the middle of the stadium, eyes roving over the ones Jaejoong loved.
“Jaejoong, do you see this?”
He spoke into the space, not caring that his words were swallowed by the noise.
Because if you move on and live and remember me,
I’ll never be gone.
Love always,
Your Jae.