[For George & Jimmy]
Apparently I had gotten it into my head that I didn't have enough to do between baking for an entire platoon and planning a wedding. Island days always seemed to stretch and feel endless, and I guess maybe I thought I needed to fill them up; running away from myself, running away from the harsh reality of the place. Teaching and taking classes on top of all the rest had left me more than a little frazzled, but I figured I could handle it. I just needed to get into a routine. And if it was easier to say, "I had a long day" than talk to my fiance about that time I was a man and how I'd been kind of distant and bitchy ever since, that was just a bonus.
Things would be fine. I just needed a little time. A little time and a routine.
At some point in the kitchen that afternoon, I'd started muttering to myself like an old woman, and didn't even realize it. Like telling myself out loud what I needed to do would somehow help me not screw it up. "Muffins in the oven," with a motion of one hand toward said appliance, "dishes washed, icing, and... that's cooled." The cake I'd earlier placed on a rack to cool was then flipped onto a plate to be carried to the icing. If I'd had any idea of what was coming, I wouldn't have picked up the plate.
Things would be fine. I just needed a little time. A little time and a routine.
At some point in the kitchen that afternoon, I'd started muttering to myself like an old woman, and didn't even realize it. Like telling myself out loud what I needed to do would somehow help me not screw it up. "Muffins in the oven," with a motion of one hand toward said appliance, "dishes washed, icing, and... that's cooled." The cake I'd earlier placed on a rack to cool was then flipped onto a plate to be carried to the icing. If I'd had any idea of what was coming, I wouldn't have picked up the plate.