Fic: Waiting for that Day - pt. 6 [Eli Stone]
Chapter 6
They spent the rest of the afternoon working in silence. As soon as he could politely get away, Eli mumbled an excuse about needing to confer with a colleague. He hid out in the conference room and worked with Patti for a while, but when she finally yelled at him for not listening to what she had been saying for 10 whole minutes, it was time to call it a day. He decided against finding Maggie to let her know he was leaving.
He kept his cell off. Hibernation held strong appeal for him. Eli decided he would order a pizza and watch whatever old movies were showing on the We channel. That would make him feel better. And just to prove Nate wrong he wouldn't even microwave any popcorn.
Dr. Chen had other ideas. He showed up at Eli's apartment that night laden with a shopping bag full of ingredients and told him he was cooking dinner.
"Baked vegetable ratatouille - it's a Lebokowski family specialty."
"Of course it is," said Eli.
He stood back to allow Chen in. So much for being alone wallowing in his own misery.
"A healthy body makes for a healthy mind, Eli," Chen said as he went about unpacking the groceries.
"Yeah, I'm sure a bad diet has been my problem all this time."
Eli watched as he started chopping up vegetables but he stayed silent. Chen didn't push him to start talking until the ratatouille was in the oven.
"So?" he prompted.
"So what?"
"Are we gonna talk about what's going on?"
Eli shrugged.
"You can try and avoid this all you want, Eli, but you know the visions will only persist until you face up to it. That's how it's always worked before."
"Before it was about a case. Helping someone."
"Maybe you're supposed to be helping yourself with this one."
"And it doesn't matter that I'd be setting out to destroy someone else's relationship?"
"No one said love was easy, Eli."
"No one said love in this scenario either, Frank," Eli said pointedly.
"Of course, you're right. I'm sure you just want to be BFF with her."
"What, are you 12?"
"Are you?" Chen countered. "You're the one denying what you're feeling."
"It's complicated."
"It usually is."
Eli crossed his arms defensively. "I almost kissed her today."
"Yeah?" Chen grinned.
"Almost being the operative word. We both knew it was wrong, and now I don't know what I feel."
"Okay. Let's think about it this way. If Maggie were single would you want to be with her?"
"She's not single," Eli said.
"Pretend she was." When Eli widened his eyes in exasperation at the silliness of the conversation, Chen tried again. "Think of it as a hypothetical, Councilor. Argue your case."
Eli nodded, thinking it might actually help. "Okay, Okay. Here we go... Reasons why Maggie and I being together is a bad idea... Firstly, we work together. It's awkward and people gossip, and it wouldn't be good for either of us, especially Maggie. No first year associate can face her peers if she's involved with a senior associate, they'd resent her in a heartbeat. Not to mention the impropriety of it - she's junior to me in the firm. Secondly, she can be annoying, needy, naïve... everything that is gut wrenchingly frustrating when you're trying to win a case, let alone having a relationship with someone. She can talk underwater, makes you feel guilty for using Styrofoam cups from the coffee place, she continually asks questions, and once she stole my parking spot which, even though I don't have a car and I'm not using it, is still aggravating."
Chen looked bemused. "Is that all?"
"No." Eli's mouth grew tighter. "When I do something to disappoint her, she gives me this look and it hits me - right here." He jabbed his fingers into his chest. "I see myself through her eyes sometimes and I don't like what I see. I'm trying to change and I'm doing a pretty damn good job of it. I don't need that kind of added pressure."
"I guess it's a moot point, then, if there are no pros to all these cons."
Eli let out a snort, his face softening. "Of course there are. She's Maggie."
Chen said nothing, he just waited for Eli to continue.
"Her smile lights up her whole face, and she goes from being pretty to the kind of beautiful that takes your breath away. She believes in me, accepts me for who I am, crazy visions and all. She's there for me when I need her, and even when I don't realize that I do. Even when I push her away. She's unflinching and funny and kind... She's Maggie."
"And you still maintain you're not interested in her?" Chen said kindly.
Eli looked down, unable to answer.
"You're not a bad guy if you go after what you want, Eli. Nobody is that selfless. You said it yourself, what if it's supposed to happen that way? Your visions have been right before. Why can't you trust that?"
"I don't want to hurt her, and I'll confuse things by doing something stupid like declaring myself to her. All it will do is throw everything into chaos."
"From chaos comes calm. From conflict comes peace."
"Is that Zen?"
"No, that's Chen." He did his best Dr. Chen bow.
Eli grinned, but the expression soon faded.
"You have to make a decision, Eli. One way or the other. Decide what it is you're feeling and then tell her."
"I know," he replied, frowning. "I know."
* * *
He woke with a start. The clock on his bedside table read 4:03AM but Eli picked up the phone anyway.
"'Lo?" came a sleepy voice on the other end.
"Frank, it's Eli."
"What? What the hell? What time is it?"
"It's early. Listen, you once told me that everything has two explanations - the scientific and the divine." There was no response. "Do you remember?"
"Of course. I just can't believe you do... And that you have the power of speech this early in the morning."
"I did pay attention. At least, I tried. But no matter how much I struggled with the divine element when it came to my visions, there was always the scientific."
There was another pause on Chen's end. "And now without the scientific..."
"Can there be the divine?" Eli finished for him.
"What are you saying, Eli? That these weren't visions at all?"
Eli gripped the phone tighter. "No, that's not what I mean. But I know now."
"Know what?"
"I know what it all means. What I need to do." Without further explanation Eli let the phone drop from his ear and he disconnected the call.
* * *
"You want me to what?" asked Nate.
"Test me again," Eli said.
"You don't need another MRI, Eli. It was all clear. The aneurysm's gone. Dr. Rajapaksa has ordered a routine follow up in six months to be on the safe side, but..."
"Please, Nate. Just do it."
"You're fine, little brother. No more visions, right?" Nate looked at him hopefully but when there was no response the expression faded. "God, they're back?"
Eli nodded. Nate looked down at his brother's patient file on his desk while he contemplated this.
"What makes you think it's the aneurysm? I thought you believed they were caused by more than that."
"Maybe I do. But I need to be sure. You're a doctor, you should understand why."
Nate shook his head. "The operation worked, Eli."
"Then the MRI will be clear, won't it? We'll know for sure if this prophet stuff means anything."
"I can't just send you in to have an MRI. The machine's in use all day."
"I'll wait."
"You're not going to let this go, are you? Alright." It was clear he was skeptical, but Nate got up to make the arrangements. He paused at the door.
"For what it's worth, I think maybe there is something to this prophet stuff. Everything I've learned, everything I know... that should be the only explanation I need. But now... let's just say you've made a believer out of me."
Eli smiled faintly, but it didn't make him feel any better. He had to know for sure.
* * *
Eli waited in Nate's office while his brother personally collected the test results. His leg bounced up and down as the minutes ticked by. He tried to stop checking his watch.
"Nervous?"
Eli looked over at Maggie who was there beside him, squeezing his hand. It was vision Maggie again, the one he was seeing almost as much as the real one these days. But he felt immediately calmer in her presence.
"I've gotten used it," he said.
"Well I haven't." Her lips were pressed into a firm line. "This is supposed to be the most natural thing in the world. It's not supposed to be so hard."
"It'll be alright, Maggie."
She smiled in appreciation at the reassuring words. But the panic returned to her face when the door clicked open and the figure in a white coat entered. The dark-haired doctor looked up from the folder she was carrying and her eyes passed between Eli and Maggie.
"Well?" Maggie breathed.
"You were right," she said, grinning.
Maggie gasped and immediately threw her arms around Eli, holding on tight.
"Third time's the charm," the doctor went on. "You're only four weeks along but it's looking good. You aced the blood work."
"I studied hard," Maggie joked as she let him go, her eyes shining.
"You know the drill, Maggie. I'll want to see you again in a couple weeks, just to make sure everything's alright. And you call me before then if you need to."
"We will."
Maggie grasped Eli's hand again, seemingly unconcerned he was sitting there in a stunned silence. Her eyes sought his and she beamed.
"I knew it was going to work this time."
He smiled automatically back at her. "Me too."
She leaned in to kiss him, her face glowing with happiness. She had never looked more beautiful to him.
"We did it," she whispered.
There was the sound of another door opening. Eli looked over as Nate came into the room. Even though he knew she wouldn't be there anymore he still glanced to his side and felt a wave of disappointment.
Nate's eyes remained fixed on the folder in his hands as he walked over to take a seat beside Eli. When he finally met his brother's eyes, his expression was defeated. Eli just nodded.
Nate took another long moment, then cleared his throat. "It's back."
"I know."
"Yeah, you did, didn't you?" Nate swallowed hard. "I still don't understand how. The likelihood for an aneurysm to recur like this is-"
"I don't need the statistic, Nate," Eli said, interrupting him.
"We always knew it could..."
"Just not this soon," Eli finished for him.
"This doesn't mean it's worse, or that you're in any more danger than you were before."
"It's a potential time bomb in my brain. You don't need to talk about danger."
Nate slumped back into the chair.
"At least it explains my visions," Eli said in an attempt at levity.
His brother offered him a half-hearted smile. "You'll be gainfully employed then. The cases will find you, right?"
"Nah, this one wasn't about a case."
"What was it about?"
Eli was staring into space. "A fantasy, that's all. A future that will never be."
"Don't talk that way, Eli. I'll call Dr. Rajapaksa. Maybe if we try again..."
"No," said Eli firmly. "No more operations."
Nate didn't protest, knowing it was probably too risky anyway.
"I have to go." Eli laid a hand on Nate's shoulder as he stood to leave, giving it a squeeze.
"Wait, do you want to talk later? I could come over."
"No, I think I need to be alone for a while. I'll call you."
When he was gone Nate snapped and threw the test results onto his desk. The paper fluttered to the floor but he made no attempt to pick it up.
* * *