Should've Said No
Title: Should've Said No
Author Brittany
Status: 4/5
Spoilers: 6X14
Rated: PG-13
Pairing: Callie/Arizona
Summary: "I can't resist, before you go tell me this, was it worth it?" Callie really should have just said no
Disclaimer:All television shows, movies, books and other copyrighted material referred to in this work, and the characters, settings and events thereof, are properties of their respective owners. As this work is an interpretation of the original material and not for profit, it constitutes fair use. Reference to real persons, places, or events are made in a fictional context, and are not intended to be libelous, defamatory, or in any way factual.
----
Part IV
“I know you deserve much better
Remember the time I told you the way that I felt
And that I'd be lost without you and never find myself
Let's hold onto each other above everything else
Start over, start over”
Whatever It Takes- Lifehouse
The on-call room smells of cheap linen, desperation and sex. It is something that both the Peds surgeon and Orthopedic Goddess have learned to grow accustomed to in their years of attendance at Seattle Grace. Both have grown accustomed to the smell of desperation, of lust, of interrupting to very hot and heavy interns and residents. The on-call room was never truly used for the means of sleeping off a hard shift or getting the rest that could provide for the most highly skilled surgical performances of their lives. In fact, Callie recalls with a quiet blush, many of her trips to the on-call room have never resulted in sleep.
So sitting here, with the hushed Peds surgeon beside of her, she can not help but find the whole situation ironic. For so many times she has hidden her from her patients, from Bailey under the cheap white linen sheets. For so many times, with her teasing kisses and beautiful smiles, Callie has only managed to make it this far with Arizona before the ache in her center overtook her every amount of strength. Many of their memories, some embarrassing, some endearing, have taken place behind the hushed doors of this on-call room. And now, she sits beside of her, creating soft circles within the styrofoam coffee cup, hoping that somehow Arizona can find it deep within her to overcome this issue she has with Mark.
This time there is no shared glances, no teasing smiles or tender kisses. This time there is no soft whispered 'I love you's, no burning touches or trembling hands. No, this time is different than all the rest. For this time there is only silence; harsh, heart breaking silence. Now, the words that should be said only sound frivolous, silly and stupid. This time, even all the right words seem to wrong, to damaging to their weakened relationship.
Sitting in the darkened room, Callie's warm russet brown eyes can not help but study the beautiful features of Arizona's flawless face. Breathing in the silence, she takes in the moment, mesmerizing every feature, every scar and lines upon her face that told the most beautiful story of the world's most selfless girl. She notices the lines that wrinkle around her blue eyes that remained sternly set upon the northeast wall and she wonders how many tears she has shed to deserve those lines. She takes a moment to lose herself within the most beautiful off shade of blue eyes and appreciate the way that they cut through her like a knife. She studies her flawless face, the edge of her lips that she so desperately wished would form in a smile, her blond hair that spirals around her shoulders. She takes a moment to become mesmerized by all the things that she loves about Arizona Robbins.
“Thanks for coming. I...uh...I wasn't exactly sure that you would show,” Callie mumbles into the hushed silence. Arizona laughs weakly with a simple shake of her head, her eyes never leaving the designated spot on the wall.
“Me neither,” replies Arizona as she scratches on the coffee cup in her hands. Callie lets out a breath of air with a soft chuckle of her own, one that does not go unnoticed by the gorgeous blond beside of her. Tearing her eyes away from the wall, Arizona's blue eyes find their way to Callie's round face and the walls suddenly come tumbling down and her heart races at the thought of her warm touch.
“But I'm glad I came. It...it feels right being here. It feels right with you,” Arizona says in a soft sigh and it catches Callie's attention. Her head snaps up as her chocolate brown eyes meet ever so delicately with hers and neither of the women can control the smile that plays upon their lips.
“Even after everything that has been going on between us, do you still mean that? Do you still think that it is right with me, even though I offered to raise a baby with another man?” Callie asks in a shaky voice, her heart leaping in her throat as she awaits the answers. The strangled smile falls from Arizona's face as she sighs, breaking their gaze as she stares at the wheelies upon her feet. A disgruntled chuckle escapes from Callie as she pushes her fingers through her raven curls, tugging only slightly, just enough to make her forget about the constant pain that aches through her heart.
“Right. Of course you don't. I mean, how could we be right together when I agreed to raise a baby with Mark and didn't even ask you what you thought about it. I guess I have a lot to prove to you, then don't I?” Callie exclaims and Arizona shakes her head as she turns to the breaking raven-haired beauty and she struggles to remember why she is even angry at her in the first place.
“You are my girlfriend, Callie, and I love you. Nothing is ever going to change that. No matter who you decide to have a baby with and no matter if you have this weird connection the man who used to be your friend-with-benefits. I still love you and I'm still in love with you. That will never change. And I know that you still love me too,” Arizona exclaims, her blue eyes flickering with the utmost amount of love and passion that a person could ever hold. A strangled breath escapes from Callie's pursed lips as she turns to her girlfriend, trying to ignore the burning tears in her eyes.
“Yeah?”
“Yes. I just...with everything that has been going on lately, I'm your crutch, Calliope. And sometimes I think that is all that you see me as,” Arizona admits, shutting her eyes tightly as she forces the tears from falling and she wonders if Callie can see right through the facade that she as put up to keep her out. She expects her to disagree with her, she expects her to argue the statement but instead Callie only sits in the silence, watching as the beautiful woman in front of her slowly begins to break down in front of her.
“I'm not a very demanding person, I'm very passive, I know that. And I know that I should say things more often but I just...I shouldn't have to tell you, you know? I'm there when your life is falling apart and I help you put it back together. I helped you get over the heart break that Erica left you with, I helped you deal with your homophobic father and I convinced him to accept you for who you are. I...I helped you get that promotion. I've dried your tears and held you when you slept. And sure, you've been there when I've asked for you but...I'm not just a crutch, Calliope. I'm your girlfriend and I shouldn't be the second person on your mind,” Arizona explains, watching as the love and pain flushes through Callie's warm chocolate brown eyes. The raven-haired beauty stares at the Peds surgeon as the tears threaten to trickle down her cheeks but she refuses to break down here, not in front of her, not again.
“You have helped me through so many things in my life. You have helped me achieve so many things that I thought was impossible. You reached out to my hot headed father and you made him understand the person that I am, you made him understand that I am still his daughter, no matter who I am dating. He...he accepts me. He...God...he actually approves of me dating you. And I love you so much for everything that you have done for me. I know I don't say that as much as I should but it's true. I know that I haven't been the most understanding person of this insecurity induced issue that you have with Mark...” Callie is interrupted by Arizona who only chuckles as she stands, facing the Ortho goddess with a hard shake of her head. Sometimes she wonders where it all went wrong, where she took the left turn that lead her to be standing here, feeling very much like a teenage girl with hormones rushing through her veins.
“Insecurity induced issue? Do you...do you know why I have an issue with Mark? I mean, do you really? Sure, you know that I don't like the fact that you agreed to raise Sloan's baby with him. But when it comes right down to it, do you really know why I get upset?” Arizona asks and Callie simply shakes her head with a wrinkled brow.
“N-no. I just thought that it....I thought it was because you knew that we used to be friends with benefits. I thought...I thought you were jealous or something,” Callie admits and Arizona's stern expression falls from her face. Instead of yelling at her like she had thought she would, she only stares at her, the infamous burning sensation of tears taking every amount of strength left inside of her.
“Well...maybe you're right. Maybe I am jealous of your relationship with Mark. I mean...my God, Calliope, you moved him into our bed. OUR bed. And you...you agreed to raise a baby with him even though you and I haven't even had the baby discussion yet. I watch you with him and it kills me...it honestly kills me,” Arizona states in a shaky voice as a stray tear slips down her cheek, like a edged piece of glass cutting into her soul. With tears of her own threatening to fall, Callie slowly pushes herself up from the bed as her eyes never leave the most beautiful face she has ever seen.
“Mark knows you better than I do. I tried to ignore the fact, I tried to pretend that I was okay with it but I'm not. You have no problem turning to him when you are upset, you have no problem letting him have a piece of your heart. But when it comes to me...it's like you are thousand miles away. You...you keep me at arms length and...I watch you with Mark. He just comes in and he swoops you away from me. You...you do everything possible to make sure that you don't get close to me. It's like, I'm the only person in this relationship sometimes,” Arizona struggles to speak as the tears cascade down her cheeks. It is in that moment, in the darkened on-call room, as the vague light dances across her face that Calliope realizes that she has stolen hear heart without her even being aware of it. It is in that moment that Calliope understands exactly what it means to be in love with someone.
“You're an impulsive person and I understand that. In fact, that is one of the things that I love most about you. If you weren't impulsive then you and I wouldn't be together right now. Because, honestly, how many people kiss someone in the bathroom of a bar and then proceed to date them and make them fall in love with them? You care like crazy and I love that about you. And I know that you care about Mark, he's your best friend but at some point, I have to start to wonder if you are caring just enough or if you care too much,” Arizona cries. At a loss for words, Calliope does the only thing that her heart knows to do, as she wraps Arizona in her warm arms. Becoming woven together like a perfect piece of art, Callie buries her face in her hair as she places the most tender of kisses. Finally after the moment as passed, she pulls away as she brushes her tears away with her thumb and a smile.
“I'm sorry. I'm so sorry if I ever made you think that Mark and I....if I ever made you think that I didn't care about you. Its just...I have so much going on in my life right now and I guess I'm not doing as good of a job as I thought I was at handling it. I'm just...I'm scared,” Callie whispers.
“Of me?” intrigues Arizona.
“Of the way you make me feel. The way that you look at me sometimes, the way that you touch me...the way that you make me fall in love with you more and more every single day...I care about you. I care about you so much, more than I have ever cared about any one in my life. Man or woman. When I'm with Mark...I know what to expect from him. But you...you are always surprising me every single day. And I'm scared. I'm scared because I've been left before...I've had my heart broken and I just...I don't think that I could handle losing you,” Callie exclaims with a crack in her voice. Arizona chuckles weakly as she takes a small step back, her heart pulsing in her chest, each and every beat for Calliope Torres and Calliope Torres alone. Because that heart that races in her chest has always belonged to her, no matter who or where she has been at in her life.
“You're not going to lose me. But if you keep pushing me away like this...if you keep waiting for the other shoe to drop...if you keep waiting to find flaws in this relationship, I'm sure that you'll find them. Sometimes you have to trust the person that you are with, sometimes you have to trust love and sometimes you have to believe that in the end, the person who loves you is going to do everything possible to make sure that you don't get hurt,” Arizona sniffles, her sparkling eyes meeting with Callie's chocolate brown and suddenly she can't breathe, she can't speak, she can only fall more helplessly in love with the beautiful Orthopedic surgeon who stole her heart that night at Joe's and has never let go of it.
“With George and Erica...I'm...I'm afraid of having my heart broken again. I'm afraid of falling in love with you, only to have you leave me in the end. I'm afraid because I love you so much and they just...they broke me and...” Her voice trails off in a sniffle and Arizona only smiles weakly at her.
“I'm not George O'Malley and I'm not Erica Hahn. I'm not going to sleep with another woman or leave you because you aren't as comfortable with the same situations that I am. I love you, Calliope Torres. I'm in love with you. And you have to believe that I am going to do everything in my power to stop you from hurting. I protect the things that I love, remember? If...if you don't trust me, then this isn't going to work out between us,” Arizona's trembling voice explains. A quiet breath of air escapes from Callie as she stares at her with tears in her eyes, she takes a small step toward the gorgeous blond and suddenly everything that she has never been strong enough to say is written within the russet swirls.
“Arizona...” She begins but before she can continue, the door is thrown open and Alex Karev is standing in the doorway, his pager in his hands.
“Oh. Sorry. Robbins, they are bringing in a Peds case that Shepard wants you to take a look at. Apparently it's pretty severe. Bailey said I could probably find you both in here,” Karev states and Arizona nods her head as she brushes her hair away from her face.
“Thank you Karev. I'll be right there. I assume you will be assisting me today?” Arizona replies and with a groan Karev fakes a smile in the blond's direction.
“Uh, sure. I'll see you there. Torres,” Karev nods in Callie's direction before he shuts the door behind him. Arizona's blue eyes meet with Callie's as she lets out a sigh before she drops the coffee cup into the garbage can that awaits her and grabs the white lab coat that she shimmed out of as she took the seat beside of her girlfriend. Pushing her arms through the sleeves, she watches as Callie's eager eyes take in the moment of her leaving.
“I have to go but we'll finish this later, okay?” Arizona asks and Callie simply nods her head. Wrapping the stethoscope around her neck, she leans forward as she steals a quick kiss from her lips and it surprises them both at how easy and amazing it feels. She pulls away with a blush, counting the different colors within her russet eyes.
“I'm sorry,” whispers Arizona before she turns to leave, shutting the door behind her. Callie stands in the silence for a moment before she falls onto the bed, brushing her raven curls away from her face.
“Love means never having to say you're sorry,” Callie mumbles in a sigh as she tries to regain her composure and control the racing heart that Arizona Robbins just ripped out of her chest.
----
After the on-call room discussion, Calliope Torres finds it impossible to focus on her rounds anymore. She busied herself in a knee replacement surgery for a close minded man that reminded her so much of her father. She pushed herself into a surgery of reconstructing the leg of a woman who was involved in a hit and run on her way to work. Did a few resetting of bones and was the subject of some very interesting stories that rumored from the nurses station. But for the most part, her mind could only focus on one thing and that one thing is busy in a Pediatric surgery with Alex Karev.
She exits another room of her patient as she grabs her Blackberry from her pocket. She smiles softly when the picture of the two of them in the middle of a kiss is revealed to be her background. Her heart races in circles as she pulls up a text and types a message.
I miss you, Ari. I love you. ;)
Hitting the send button, Miranda Bailey catches her attention at the station. Glancing around, she pushes the phone back into her lab coat pocket as she makes her way over to the small woman. Sitting her files down on the counter, she leans against the station with a sigh.
“I need your help, Bailey,” Callie states and the short African-American woman's head snaps up from the files as she stares into the face of the Orthopedic Surgeon. The woman who fell in love and married her favorite intern in Vegas, the woman who once stole a promotion away from her that she thought she so diligently deserved , the woman who made the Peds attending her normal perky self.
“Good, because I've been wanting to share a surgery with you for quite some time now. I want to see how you perform your surgeries since Shepard thinks that you are the one to learn from. I'll just clear my schedule,” Miranda replies as she clicks the pen in her hand but Callie simply chuckles with a shake of her head.
“I'd love to have you assist me in surgery but actually that's not it. I need your help with Arizona,” Callie exclaims in a sigh. Bailey stops clicking the pen in her hand and turns to face the taller woman with a wrinkled brow and pursed lips.
“Oh. Well then no,” Bailey states coldly.
“No?”
“No,”
“But Bailey...” begs Callie.
“Torres, you know that I don't do this. I don't do this whole girl thing. I don't squeal or 'Oh my God' or care who is sleeping with who in the on call room. I don't braid hair or paint fingernails or hold someone when they cry because their boyfriend broke up with them. I am a doctor, not a therapist,” Bailey explains as she returns her attention to the files in front of her. Callie shifts uncomfortably with a desperate sigh as the phone vibrates in her pocket, she pulls it out to find a new message from Arizona.
Going in surgery. But I miss you too. :]
“You watch a lot of daytime television, I need your help. Please. You're the only person that I know who would know what to do in this situation. Please, help me. If not for me but for Arizona. She really stuck her neck out for you during your Peds rotation,” Callie pleads, taking a step toward the smaller woman. Bailey only sighs as she flips through the pages of her file, her eyes never leaving the information that is presented neatly in front of her.
“Damn it, Bailey. If I don't do something then I'm going to lose her. You know what that's like don't you? You know what it is like to have someone you love, someone that you want to share your life with, to pack up and leave you. Tucker left you because you didn't....I don't want to lose Arizona and if I don't do something then I will. And you know badly that hurts, do you want me to go through that again?!” Callie snaps but yet again, Bailey's attention never leaves the file in front of her. Losing her patience, Calliope groans in an exasperated sigh as she shakes her head in aggravation.
“You know what? Forget it. Just forget it. I'll ask Shepard or Grey or something,” Callie mumbles as she turns to leave before the small voice calls out to her.
“Shepard was busy sleeping with my intern while he was still married to your best friend, Addison, remember? Grey tried to kill herself. If I was you, I wouldn't ask them for relationship advice,” Bailey calls out to her. Callie chuckles as she turns on her heels, shoving her hands within the pockets of her lab coat.
“Well you won't help me. My only other options are Shepard and Grey since they are the only ones who seem to have a stable mind around this place. Sloan's too busy trying to play father to a kid that he left all those years ago. Karev's wife left him. Cristina has enough damage. So excuse me for not finding a more suitable candidate,” Callie snaps as she turns to leave but once again, Bailey's voice calls out to her and like it does with every one else, it stops her from leaving.
“If I help you, it will only be for Robbins and you can tell no-one. You understand that?” Bailey states and with a sigh, Callie only nods her head as she takes a step toward the smaller woman.
“I don't care. I just don't want to lose my girlfriend. Please help me. She thinks that I care about Mark more than I care about her and it's not true. I just...I don't know what to do anymore. Please help me prove to her that what I feel for her is real,” Callie begs, her eyes locking intently with Miranda's. Miranda sighs as she sits the pen down on the file, shutting the folder as she takes a small step toward the Orthopedic goddess, a sudden serious expression finding it's way onto her face.
“Okay, listen, if you want to win Robbins over, here is what you should do...” Miranda begins to explain. Callie listens with eager eyes as her heart races in her chest. It was crazy, she thinks with a giggle as she pulls out her Blackberry, staring at their picture, but maybe, just maybe, it was crazy enough to just work.
Author Brittany
Status: 4/5
Spoilers: 6X14
Rated: PG-13
Pairing: Callie/Arizona
Summary: "I can't resist, before you go tell me this, was it worth it?" Callie really should have just said no
Disclaimer:All television shows, movies, books and other copyrighted material referred to in this work, and the characters, settings and events thereof, are properties of their respective owners. As this work is an interpretation of the original material and not for profit, it constitutes fair use. Reference to real persons, places, or events are made in a fictional context, and are not intended to be libelous, defamatory, or in any way factual.
----
Part IV
“I know you deserve much better
Remember the time I told you the way that I felt
And that I'd be lost without you and never find myself
Let's hold onto each other above everything else
Start over, start over”
Whatever It Takes- Lifehouse
The on-call room smells of cheap linen, desperation and sex. It is something that both the Peds surgeon and Orthopedic Goddess have learned to grow accustomed to in their years of attendance at Seattle Grace. Both have grown accustomed to the smell of desperation, of lust, of interrupting to very hot and heavy interns and residents. The on-call room was never truly used for the means of sleeping off a hard shift or getting the rest that could provide for the most highly skilled surgical performances of their lives. In fact, Callie recalls with a quiet blush, many of her trips to the on-call room have never resulted in sleep.
So sitting here, with the hushed Peds surgeon beside of her, she can not help but find the whole situation ironic. For so many times she has hidden her from her patients, from Bailey under the cheap white linen sheets. For so many times, with her teasing kisses and beautiful smiles, Callie has only managed to make it this far with Arizona before the ache in her center overtook her every amount of strength. Many of their memories, some embarrassing, some endearing, have taken place behind the hushed doors of this on-call room. And now, she sits beside of her, creating soft circles within the styrofoam coffee cup, hoping that somehow Arizona can find it deep within her to overcome this issue she has with Mark.
This time there is no shared glances, no teasing smiles or tender kisses. This time there is no soft whispered 'I love you's, no burning touches or trembling hands. No, this time is different than all the rest. For this time there is only silence; harsh, heart breaking silence. Now, the words that should be said only sound frivolous, silly and stupid. This time, even all the right words seem to wrong, to damaging to their weakened relationship.
Sitting in the darkened room, Callie's warm russet brown eyes can not help but study the beautiful features of Arizona's flawless face. Breathing in the silence, she takes in the moment, mesmerizing every feature, every scar and lines upon her face that told the most beautiful story of the world's most selfless girl. She notices the lines that wrinkle around her blue eyes that remained sternly set upon the northeast wall and she wonders how many tears she has shed to deserve those lines. She takes a moment to lose herself within the most beautiful off shade of blue eyes and appreciate the way that they cut through her like a knife. She studies her flawless face, the edge of her lips that she so desperately wished would form in a smile, her blond hair that spirals around her shoulders. She takes a moment to become mesmerized by all the things that she loves about Arizona Robbins.
“Thanks for coming. I...uh...I wasn't exactly sure that you would show,” Callie mumbles into the hushed silence. Arizona laughs weakly with a simple shake of her head, her eyes never leaving the designated spot on the wall.
“Me neither,” replies Arizona as she scratches on the coffee cup in her hands. Callie lets out a breath of air with a soft chuckle of her own, one that does not go unnoticed by the gorgeous blond beside of her. Tearing her eyes away from the wall, Arizona's blue eyes find their way to Callie's round face and the walls suddenly come tumbling down and her heart races at the thought of her warm touch.
“But I'm glad I came. It...it feels right being here. It feels right with you,” Arizona says in a soft sigh and it catches Callie's attention. Her head snaps up as her chocolate brown eyes meet ever so delicately with hers and neither of the women can control the smile that plays upon their lips.
“Even after everything that has been going on between us, do you still mean that? Do you still think that it is right with me, even though I offered to raise a baby with another man?” Callie asks in a shaky voice, her heart leaping in her throat as she awaits the answers. The strangled smile falls from Arizona's face as she sighs, breaking their gaze as she stares at the wheelies upon her feet. A disgruntled chuckle escapes from Callie as she pushes her fingers through her raven curls, tugging only slightly, just enough to make her forget about the constant pain that aches through her heart.
“Right. Of course you don't. I mean, how could we be right together when I agreed to raise a baby with Mark and didn't even ask you what you thought about it. I guess I have a lot to prove to you, then don't I?” Callie exclaims and Arizona shakes her head as she turns to the breaking raven-haired beauty and she struggles to remember why she is even angry at her in the first place.
“You are my girlfriend, Callie, and I love you. Nothing is ever going to change that. No matter who you decide to have a baby with and no matter if you have this weird connection the man who used to be your friend-with-benefits. I still love you and I'm still in love with you. That will never change. And I know that you still love me too,” Arizona exclaims, her blue eyes flickering with the utmost amount of love and passion that a person could ever hold. A strangled breath escapes from Callie's pursed lips as she turns to her girlfriend, trying to ignore the burning tears in her eyes.
“Yeah?”
“Yes. I just...with everything that has been going on lately, I'm your crutch, Calliope. And sometimes I think that is all that you see me as,” Arizona admits, shutting her eyes tightly as she forces the tears from falling and she wonders if Callie can see right through the facade that she as put up to keep her out. She expects her to disagree with her, she expects her to argue the statement but instead Callie only sits in the silence, watching as the beautiful woman in front of her slowly begins to break down in front of her.
“I'm not a very demanding person, I'm very passive, I know that. And I know that I should say things more often but I just...I shouldn't have to tell you, you know? I'm there when your life is falling apart and I help you put it back together. I helped you get over the heart break that Erica left you with, I helped you deal with your homophobic father and I convinced him to accept you for who you are. I...I helped you get that promotion. I've dried your tears and held you when you slept. And sure, you've been there when I've asked for you but...I'm not just a crutch, Calliope. I'm your girlfriend and I shouldn't be the second person on your mind,” Arizona explains, watching as the love and pain flushes through Callie's warm chocolate brown eyes. The raven-haired beauty stares at the Peds surgeon as the tears threaten to trickle down her cheeks but she refuses to break down here, not in front of her, not again.
“You have helped me through so many things in my life. You have helped me achieve so many things that I thought was impossible. You reached out to my hot headed father and you made him understand the person that I am, you made him understand that I am still his daughter, no matter who I am dating. He...he accepts me. He...God...he actually approves of me dating you. And I love you so much for everything that you have done for me. I know I don't say that as much as I should but it's true. I know that I haven't been the most understanding person of this insecurity induced issue that you have with Mark...” Callie is interrupted by Arizona who only chuckles as she stands, facing the Ortho goddess with a hard shake of her head. Sometimes she wonders where it all went wrong, where she took the left turn that lead her to be standing here, feeling very much like a teenage girl with hormones rushing through her veins.
“Insecurity induced issue? Do you...do you know why I have an issue with Mark? I mean, do you really? Sure, you know that I don't like the fact that you agreed to raise Sloan's baby with him. But when it comes right down to it, do you really know why I get upset?” Arizona asks and Callie simply shakes her head with a wrinkled brow.
“N-no. I just thought that it....I thought it was because you knew that we used to be friends with benefits. I thought...I thought you were jealous or something,” Callie admits and Arizona's stern expression falls from her face. Instead of yelling at her like she had thought she would, she only stares at her, the infamous burning sensation of tears taking every amount of strength left inside of her.
“Well...maybe you're right. Maybe I am jealous of your relationship with Mark. I mean...my God, Calliope, you moved him into our bed. OUR bed. And you...you agreed to raise a baby with him even though you and I haven't even had the baby discussion yet. I watch you with him and it kills me...it honestly kills me,” Arizona states in a shaky voice as a stray tear slips down her cheek, like a edged piece of glass cutting into her soul. With tears of her own threatening to fall, Callie slowly pushes herself up from the bed as her eyes never leave the most beautiful face she has ever seen.
“Mark knows you better than I do. I tried to ignore the fact, I tried to pretend that I was okay with it but I'm not. You have no problem turning to him when you are upset, you have no problem letting him have a piece of your heart. But when it comes to me...it's like you are thousand miles away. You...you keep me at arms length and...I watch you with Mark. He just comes in and he swoops you away from me. You...you do everything possible to make sure that you don't get close to me. It's like, I'm the only person in this relationship sometimes,” Arizona struggles to speak as the tears cascade down her cheeks. It is in that moment, in the darkened on-call room, as the vague light dances across her face that Calliope realizes that she has stolen hear heart without her even being aware of it. It is in that moment that Calliope understands exactly what it means to be in love with someone.
“You're an impulsive person and I understand that. In fact, that is one of the things that I love most about you. If you weren't impulsive then you and I wouldn't be together right now. Because, honestly, how many people kiss someone in the bathroom of a bar and then proceed to date them and make them fall in love with them? You care like crazy and I love that about you. And I know that you care about Mark, he's your best friend but at some point, I have to start to wonder if you are caring just enough or if you care too much,” Arizona cries. At a loss for words, Calliope does the only thing that her heart knows to do, as she wraps Arizona in her warm arms. Becoming woven together like a perfect piece of art, Callie buries her face in her hair as she places the most tender of kisses. Finally after the moment as passed, she pulls away as she brushes her tears away with her thumb and a smile.
“I'm sorry. I'm so sorry if I ever made you think that Mark and I....if I ever made you think that I didn't care about you. Its just...I have so much going on in my life right now and I guess I'm not doing as good of a job as I thought I was at handling it. I'm just...I'm scared,” Callie whispers.
“Of me?” intrigues Arizona.
“Of the way you make me feel. The way that you look at me sometimes, the way that you touch me...the way that you make me fall in love with you more and more every single day...I care about you. I care about you so much, more than I have ever cared about any one in my life. Man or woman. When I'm with Mark...I know what to expect from him. But you...you are always surprising me every single day. And I'm scared. I'm scared because I've been left before...I've had my heart broken and I just...I don't think that I could handle losing you,” Callie exclaims with a crack in her voice. Arizona chuckles weakly as she takes a small step back, her heart pulsing in her chest, each and every beat for Calliope Torres and Calliope Torres alone. Because that heart that races in her chest has always belonged to her, no matter who or where she has been at in her life.
“You're not going to lose me. But if you keep pushing me away like this...if you keep waiting for the other shoe to drop...if you keep waiting to find flaws in this relationship, I'm sure that you'll find them. Sometimes you have to trust the person that you are with, sometimes you have to trust love and sometimes you have to believe that in the end, the person who loves you is going to do everything possible to make sure that you don't get hurt,” Arizona sniffles, her sparkling eyes meeting with Callie's chocolate brown and suddenly she can't breathe, she can't speak, she can only fall more helplessly in love with the beautiful Orthopedic surgeon who stole her heart that night at Joe's and has never let go of it.
“With George and Erica...I'm...I'm afraid of having my heart broken again. I'm afraid of falling in love with you, only to have you leave me in the end. I'm afraid because I love you so much and they just...they broke me and...” Her voice trails off in a sniffle and Arizona only smiles weakly at her.
“I'm not George O'Malley and I'm not Erica Hahn. I'm not going to sleep with another woman or leave you because you aren't as comfortable with the same situations that I am. I love you, Calliope Torres. I'm in love with you. And you have to believe that I am going to do everything in my power to stop you from hurting. I protect the things that I love, remember? If...if you don't trust me, then this isn't going to work out between us,” Arizona's trembling voice explains. A quiet breath of air escapes from Callie as she stares at her with tears in her eyes, she takes a small step toward the gorgeous blond and suddenly everything that she has never been strong enough to say is written within the russet swirls.
“Arizona...” She begins but before she can continue, the door is thrown open and Alex Karev is standing in the doorway, his pager in his hands.
“Oh. Sorry. Robbins, they are bringing in a Peds case that Shepard wants you to take a look at. Apparently it's pretty severe. Bailey said I could probably find you both in here,” Karev states and Arizona nods her head as she brushes her hair away from her face.
“Thank you Karev. I'll be right there. I assume you will be assisting me today?” Arizona replies and with a groan Karev fakes a smile in the blond's direction.
“Uh, sure. I'll see you there. Torres,” Karev nods in Callie's direction before he shuts the door behind him. Arizona's blue eyes meet with Callie's as she lets out a sigh before she drops the coffee cup into the garbage can that awaits her and grabs the white lab coat that she shimmed out of as she took the seat beside of her girlfriend. Pushing her arms through the sleeves, she watches as Callie's eager eyes take in the moment of her leaving.
“I have to go but we'll finish this later, okay?” Arizona asks and Callie simply nods her head. Wrapping the stethoscope around her neck, she leans forward as she steals a quick kiss from her lips and it surprises them both at how easy and amazing it feels. She pulls away with a blush, counting the different colors within her russet eyes.
“I'm sorry,” whispers Arizona before she turns to leave, shutting the door behind her. Callie stands in the silence for a moment before she falls onto the bed, brushing her raven curls away from her face.
“Love means never having to say you're sorry,” Callie mumbles in a sigh as she tries to regain her composure and control the racing heart that Arizona Robbins just ripped out of her chest.
----
After the on-call room discussion, Calliope Torres finds it impossible to focus on her rounds anymore. She busied herself in a knee replacement surgery for a close minded man that reminded her so much of her father. She pushed herself into a surgery of reconstructing the leg of a woman who was involved in a hit and run on her way to work. Did a few resetting of bones and was the subject of some very interesting stories that rumored from the nurses station. But for the most part, her mind could only focus on one thing and that one thing is busy in a Pediatric surgery with Alex Karev.
She exits another room of her patient as she grabs her Blackberry from her pocket. She smiles softly when the picture of the two of them in the middle of a kiss is revealed to be her background. Her heart races in circles as she pulls up a text and types a message.
I miss you, Ari. I love you. ;)
Hitting the send button, Miranda Bailey catches her attention at the station. Glancing around, she pushes the phone back into her lab coat pocket as she makes her way over to the small woman. Sitting her files down on the counter, she leans against the station with a sigh.
“I need your help, Bailey,” Callie states and the short African-American woman's head snaps up from the files as she stares into the face of the Orthopedic Surgeon. The woman who fell in love and married her favorite intern in Vegas, the woman who once stole a promotion away from her that she thought she so diligently deserved , the woman who made the Peds attending her normal perky self.
“Good, because I've been wanting to share a surgery with you for quite some time now. I want to see how you perform your surgeries since Shepard thinks that you are the one to learn from. I'll just clear my schedule,” Miranda replies as she clicks the pen in her hand but Callie simply chuckles with a shake of her head.
“I'd love to have you assist me in surgery but actually that's not it. I need your help with Arizona,” Callie exclaims in a sigh. Bailey stops clicking the pen in her hand and turns to face the taller woman with a wrinkled brow and pursed lips.
“Oh. Well then no,” Bailey states coldly.
“No?”
“No,”
“But Bailey...” begs Callie.
“Torres, you know that I don't do this. I don't do this whole girl thing. I don't squeal or 'Oh my God' or care who is sleeping with who in the on call room. I don't braid hair or paint fingernails or hold someone when they cry because their boyfriend broke up with them. I am a doctor, not a therapist,” Bailey explains as she returns her attention to the files in front of her. Callie shifts uncomfortably with a desperate sigh as the phone vibrates in her pocket, she pulls it out to find a new message from Arizona.
Going in surgery. But I miss you too. :]
“You watch a lot of daytime television, I need your help. Please. You're the only person that I know who would know what to do in this situation. Please, help me. If not for me but for Arizona. She really stuck her neck out for you during your Peds rotation,” Callie pleads, taking a step toward the smaller woman. Bailey only sighs as she flips through the pages of her file, her eyes never leaving the information that is presented neatly in front of her.
“Damn it, Bailey. If I don't do something then I'm going to lose her. You know what that's like don't you? You know what it is like to have someone you love, someone that you want to share your life with, to pack up and leave you. Tucker left you because you didn't....I don't want to lose Arizona and if I don't do something then I will. And you know badly that hurts, do you want me to go through that again?!” Callie snaps but yet again, Bailey's attention never leaves the file in front of her. Losing her patience, Calliope groans in an exasperated sigh as she shakes her head in aggravation.
“You know what? Forget it. Just forget it. I'll ask Shepard or Grey or something,” Callie mumbles as she turns to leave before the small voice calls out to her.
“Shepard was busy sleeping with my intern while he was still married to your best friend, Addison, remember? Grey tried to kill herself. If I was you, I wouldn't ask them for relationship advice,” Bailey calls out to her. Callie chuckles as she turns on her heels, shoving her hands within the pockets of her lab coat.
“Well you won't help me. My only other options are Shepard and Grey since they are the only ones who seem to have a stable mind around this place. Sloan's too busy trying to play father to a kid that he left all those years ago. Karev's wife left him. Cristina has enough damage. So excuse me for not finding a more suitable candidate,” Callie snaps as she turns to leave but once again, Bailey's voice calls out to her and like it does with every one else, it stops her from leaving.
“If I help you, it will only be for Robbins and you can tell no-one. You understand that?” Bailey states and with a sigh, Callie only nods her head as she takes a step toward the smaller woman.
“I don't care. I just don't want to lose my girlfriend. Please help me. She thinks that I care about Mark more than I care about her and it's not true. I just...I don't know what to do anymore. Please help me prove to her that what I feel for her is real,” Callie begs, her eyes locking intently with Miranda's. Miranda sighs as she sits the pen down on the file, shutting the folder as she takes a small step toward the Orthopedic goddess, a sudden serious expression finding it's way onto her face.
“Okay, listen, if you want to win Robbins over, here is what you should do...” Miranda begins to explain. Callie listens with eager eyes as her heart races in her chest. It was crazy, she thinks with a giggle as she pulls out her Blackberry, staring at their picture, but maybe, just maybe, it was crazy enough to just work.