Gumball Machine Proposal
Gumball Machine Proposal
Beta: sekana84
Post: 7x18
Summary: “I know it’s not fancy or a 10 karat or anything like what you deserve but I have to do this. The right way.” Sometimes it takes almost losing everything to realize what you have.
Pairings: Callie/Arizona
Disclaimer: All television shows, movies, books and other copyrighted material referred to in this work, and the characters, settings and events thereof, are properties of their respective owners. As this work is an interpretation of the original material and not for profit, it constitutes fair use. Reference to real persons, places, or events are made in a fictional context, and are not intended to be libelous, defamatory, or in any way factual.
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“Love is a symbol of eternity. It wipes out all sense of time, destroying all memory of a beginning and all fear of an end.”- Unknown
She could have never imagined that she would end up here; that she would be sitting by the bed side of the woman that she loves more than anything in the world because of a car accident, an accident that could have been avoided if she had been watching more carefully. She should have known better than to take her eyes off the road for a second, she knew better and yet, here she sits. Here, with her hand tucked atop of Callie’s, gently caressing the top as she watches her stomach rise and fall with every breath.
She doesn’t know what she would do if she ever lost her; if she suddenly were no longer able to watch the sunlight dance across her beautiful face, if she could not see that gorgeous smile or hear her melodic laughter that sends instant warmth to her soul. She is the other half that makes her whole and she hates that she could never have had the strength to tell her that, that she could never tell her how much she loves her, how in love with her she truly is.
Arizona sighs, rubbing her eyes with the back of her fist as a soft yawn escapes from her lips. She doesn’t remember the last time that she slept, for there is no peace until Calliope is in the bed beside of her, wrapped up and whispering her soft Spanish lullabies.
How could she have let this happen? How could she have been so careless? How could she have potentially harmed her angel and their daughter? Her stomach tightens as the whimper of a cry escapes from within her. She knows that she shouldn’t do this; blaming herself will not give Callie a quick recovery nor will it heal their daughter’s body. It was an accident, simply that, an accident, no one could have seen it coming but she still can not help but blame herself. She is the one who promised Carlos that she would protect his daughter, that she was a good man in a storm, and now, she had been the one who was driving the car when the accident occurred. An accident that threatened Callie’s life, an accident that caused their daughter to be born at only twenty-three and a half weeks.
An accident that would impermeably change her life forever.
Gently, her thumb brushes soft shapes into the top of Callie’s tan skin as she fights the tears that threaten in her blue eyes. She misses her. She woke up a few hours ago and agreed to marry her, agreed to spend the rest of her life with her before falling back under the effects of anesthesia. She woke up long enough to look at her with her dark eyes and give her the answers that she was searching for, the comfort, the forgiveness that she is unable to find within herself. She said yes. She said yes. She can’t lose her now, nor their daughter, she needs them both to make her dream come true.
Biting her bottom lip, Arizona feels the steaming tears cloud within her eyes. You are nothing. She can still hear Mark’s voice echoing through her head, the pain, the hostility, the vulnerability, she can still hear the fear and blame within those three words. Nothing, she whimpers. She is nothing. She is the one who was driving when the accident occurred, she was the one who saved their daughter, she is the one who wants to spend the rest of her life with Callie, but she is nothing. Legally, she sighs with a sniffle, she is nothing. Nothing to Callie. Nothing to their daughter.
“A-Arizona” Callie’s raspy voice calls out to her. The blond looks up, her blue eyes flickering to the familiar beauty of her face. Her eyes are struggling as they open before her tangled fingers within Arizona’s squeeze in comfort and the blond melts at the sensation. It is simple, but for now, it is the simplistic things that take her breath away.
“Hey you,” Arizona whispers almost breathlessly as she reaches forward, her fingers running through the raven curls that escape just below Callie’s shoulders. The Latina almost winces at the brief meeting of their skin as she watches her wordlessly. “You look better.” She states almost emotionless as she takes the cup of water, bending the straw as she reaches it to Callie’s lips.
“Arizona,” Callie mumbles as she takes rhythmic sips from the cooled ice water. She takes four sips of water before she decides that she has had enough and she places her hand atop of Arizona's, pushing the plastic, pale pink glass away from her face. The two share a moment, a moment of dark brown staring into a pair of innocent blue, a moment when no words are said because no words are needed to say what the two women already know, what they have always known. Licking her dry lips, Arizona sucks in a hard breath, watching the faltering eyes of her beautiful girlfriend and her stomach tightens at the reality of the situation that she desperately tries to forget.
“Are you in any pain? How are you feeling? How about your head? Derek said that you will probably be in a lot of pain, that is why he is trying to keep you medicated. Do you need me to page him? Maybe I should just page him anyway, you need to have another examination anyway. He should... um... he should know that...” Arizona stumbles as she reaches in her blue attending scrub pocket for her pager but her trembling hands disable her from holding the electronic object and it falls onto the floor.
“Damn it.” She mutters a curse, twisting her fingers in her hair in a desperate sigh.
“Arizona,” Once again Callie calls out her name, attempting to gain her attention, to find the reassurance of an answer that she already knows. But, yet again, Arizona ignores her girlfriend's attempts of gaining her attention and bends down to pick up the electronic device.
“I'm okay, it's okay. I got it.” Arizona mutters as she takes the pager in her hand, pressing a few buttons as she slowly raises up. Her head pounds in a rush as she becomes upright and she winces, shutting her eyes tightly shut for a moment before opening them once again and turning her lips in a smile.
“You look uncomfortable. Are you uncomfortable? Wait, of course you are uncomfortable. We were just in a car accident and you went through the windshield, of course you are not going to be comfortable. I'm stupid. I'm sorry. I haven't slept in... hell, I don't even fucking know but I'm sorry. I'll just... those pillows look so uncomfortable and hard. I know where the good ones are, I'll steal some from the on call room, we made good use of those remember?” Arizona pauses for a laugh, “And I'll see if Bailey can give you some more pain meds and see if Shepard will examine you now that you are awake and alert. Maybe he will... um... maybe...” Arizona trails off as she types something into her blackberry before she turns to leave. That is, until, Callie's fingers wrap around her wrist and stop her in place.
“Arizona,” Callie's voice has now taken on a more scolding tone and it stops Arizona, shakes her to the core of everything that she is, everything that she has ever known. The Peds surgeon turns around, her blue eyes meeting with her dark brown and instantly, it is as if every fake smile that she ever sent, every wall that she built up to hide her emotions, suddenly come tumbling down.
“How are you?” whispers Callie and Arizona wrinkles her brow with a shake of her head.
“I'm fine. It's just a scratch. Karev fixed it for me. Don't worry about it.” Arizona brushes off the question as she attempts to leave again but Callie's tight grip around her wrist prevents such an exit from happening.
“No. I just went through a windshield, I almost died, my baby was born at twenty-three and a half weeks, she only weighs a pound. You saved her life and you watched me almost die twice. And I know that every one was so busy taking care of us and Mark and I just... how are you? And we are engaged now, so don't you dare lie to me.” Callie teases with a glare but there is no laugh that escapes from within Arizona, instead her face crumbles as the all too familiar tears appear within her eyes.
“It's all my fault.” Arizona snaps in a cry, licking her lips as she shakes her head. Callie almost recoils at the accusation as she stares at her girlfriend in a wrinkled brow. Her fault? No, she grinds her teeth down hard, it is not her fault and damn anyone who ever made her think that. Squeezing her hand in comforting reassurance, she watches Arizona as she pulls away and begins to nervously pace back and forth.
“God, how could I be so fucking stupid? How could I take my eyes off the road? I am a good driver, a smart driver and I took my eyes off the road. I mean, who does that? Who takes their eyes off the road when their pregnant girlfriend is riding in the passengers seat without a seat belt on. And why did I not tell you to put your seat belt back on after you dove after your stupid phone? I should have protected you!” Arizona exclaims, her voice breaking as the tears fall effortlessly down her cheeks. Her eyes, through the mist and the fog of her own tears, find Callie and she feels her heart breaking all over again when she sees the scrapes and the bandage atop of her head.
“Arizona... no.” Callie whispers breathlessly, astounded by the accusation.
“It is my fault. It is. I am the one who is supposed to protect you, I am supposed to keep you safe and happy and the farthest away from harm and danger that I can. Yet, I was the one who was driving the car. I was the one who took the phone away from you and threw it in the backseat, knowing that you would go after it to be there for Mark like a best friend should be. I was the one who let you ride without a seat belt, even though you were pregnant. I was the one who took my eyes off the road, I was the one who crashed into the truck. Me. I was the one who was responsible for sending you through the windshield.” She chokes out a cry as Callie only listens with wide and wet eyes.
“Damn it, Callie, I thought you were going to die on me. There was blood... so much blood. I just... I couldn't help but think that if you died... if I lost you... damn it. It is my fault. You almost died. I watched you, with their hands in your body, I watched you flat line, you almost died and it is my fucking fault. It is my fault that your daughter was born at twenty-three and a half weeks, that we almost lost her too. I have done nothing but hurt you!” Arizona chokes out in a heart wrenching cry, her face crumbling as the tears fall down her cheeks.
“M-Mark, he... he told me I was nothing. That... that this was his family. That you and your daughter were his family and that I was nothing. He... um... he apologized but it's true. I'm nothing. I am the reason that you almost died, the reason that his daughter was born so early. I just... it is my fault. And I am so sorry. God, Callie, I am so... so sorry.” Arizona cries out in a sob.
“Alright, that is enough!” Callie snaps loudly, startling Arizona and she slightly jumps at the sudden change and harshness of Calliope's voice. Gently, she pulls Arizona down onto the hospital bed with her, her thumb brushing over her fingers gently as her eyes stare into the curly haired blond's, finding the answers, the solace, the completeness that she has always known to be within them.
“What happened, Arizona, yeah, it was terrible. But it was an accident. An unfortunate turn of circumstances. A moment that no one could have foreseen or predicted happening. It was an accident. It was your not fault, you hear me? I was stupid and I didn't put my seat belt back on. I was too focused on our argument, it was petty and stupid and just childish to fight. And then when you asked me to marry you... I was just... so surprised and taken back by the idea that someone, that you, would want to spend the rest of your life with me, even given everything that has happened. I should have put my seat belt back on but I didn't. I am just as responsible for this. This isn't your fault,” Callie glares and Arizona shrinks a little.
“Callie.”
“No. Listen to me. You say that you are the reason that I almost died but that is not true. You are the reason that I lived. I lived for you. For us. You say that you are the reason that our daughter almost died but in case you have forgotten, you are the one who saved her life. You saved her, Arizona. She is alive because of you. We both are alive because of you, because of your love for us. It was an accident, it was not your fault. And Mark is an ass for saying that you are nothing because you... damn Arizona... you're everything. This is our family. And I would very much like to put this all behind us now.” Callie sighs, reaching forward as she brushes the tears away from Arizona's scratched face.
“Callie, you don't...”
“Stop. Stop. Stop. I am fine. See, I'm fine,” Callie smiles at her, “and you are fine. And our daughter, our daughter, she is going to be fine because she takes after her Mama. She is a good man in a storm and she is strong, like you She is a scrappy little fighter, like her Mama. We are all going to be okay. We are going to be just fine, okay?” Callie cranes her neck as she brings her face closer to Arizona's, her tear filled eyes studying hers carefully before the blond inhales deeply and nods. Her blue eyes flicker up from the spot on her hands in which she had been staring and crash into a deep sea of warm brown and she melts, like all the times before.
“Actually, there is something I have been meaning to ask you.” Arizona sniffles, picking absently at a string on the sheets. Callie grins at her almost teasingly, wrinkling her nose as the familiar smile appears upon her face. She has missed this, she thinks silently to herself, the simplistic moments between the two of them; even if they occur in a hospital bed.
“I don't think I am quite ready for sex just yet. I mean, I did just go flying through a windshield and I did just have multiple surgeries, one of which was repairing a hole in my heart, and I do not think my heart could handle the excitement. Also, I did just give birth. And I am not positive but I am pretty sure there is something about not having sex after you just gave birth. I mean, it is not that I don't want you because I do but I just think that we should wait until we are both better and not so... fragile.” Callie teases, with a wink as the soft melodic giggle escapes from her lips. Arizona gasps at the accusation, a laugh and a smile both radiating from her face now and Callie has almost forgotten how much she has missed it.
“Not that!” laughs Arizona and Callie grins with a shrug of her shoulders.
“Hey, how was I supposed to know? I am hot, even in a hospital gown.” Callie teases with a smile and Arizona is quick to blush a shade of bright pink. “Besides, we got in a fight, which means that we have some making up to do and I know your favorite kind of making up. Excuse me for assuming that maybe you wanted to...” She trails off when Arizona waves her hands around very awkwardly, a bright red burning in her cheeks.
“Okay! Enough! You do not get to do this! You do not get to go and make me all flustered when I am getting ready to propose to you! No fair, Calliope!” Arizona whines and suddenly Callie's teasing laughter all but ceases as the silence crashes down around the room in surprising waves. The Latina becomes wide eyed and breathless and she forces a deep inhalation, her eyes fixated solely upon Arizona.
“Wh-what?” stutters Callie and Arizona smiles triumphantly at her ability to now switch the roles and become the one who is now leaving her speechless and breathless. This time, however, in a good way. A very good way.
“I said that I was going to propose to you. If that is okay with you.” Arizona smiles and Callie wrinkles her brow, the slightest bit confused. Hadn't she already proposed? Or was that just a part of her weird musical sequence as well?
“I thought you already asked me to marry you. We were in the car, it was before the truck... the truck came out of nowhere and we hit it. And you... you had asked me to marry you and I didn't answer you. Because I didn't know. I didn't know that this is what love is suppose to feel like, that something could be this good.” Callie exclaims and Arizona smiles, nodding her head softly before she reaches into her blue scrubs and pulls out a plastic object that Callie can not quite seem to make sense of.
“Yeah, I did ask you. But it wasn't the right way. You shouldn't be asked to marry someone as we are driving down the highway because we got in an argument and I wanted more commitment. And given everything that has happened in the past forty-eight hours, I am not taking a risk and letting this moment go by again without asking you properly and professionally the question that I have been wanting to ask you for over a year now.” Arizona begins as she rises up from the bed; she rakes her nails through her blond curls as she smiles at Callie.
“Arizona” Callie whispers breathlessly, her eyes wide in surprise and excitement. Arizona watches her with a bright smile, how could anyone ever question this? How could anyone ever believe that love is not meant to be this good? That love is not meant to be this easy and comfortable and right? How could they have all made Callie believe that she is so undeserving of a love like this? She tidies herself up as best as she can before she slowly lowers herself down onto one knee with a brief wince at the pain. Stumbling and fumbling, she attempts to open the top of the plastic object.
“I know it’s not fancy or a 10 karat or anything like what you deserve but I have to do this. The right way.” Arizona exclaims, her palms sweating in nervousness and excitement as she pops the green plastic top of the object and desperately grasps at the plastic ring inside. Looking up, her blue eyes collide with the most loving pair of teary auburn brown and suddenly everything in the world just seems to make sense.
“It's not much, I know that. I-I promise that I will replace it with something better once that we are out of the hospital and I actually have money on me. I had to borrow the quarters from Bailey. Could you imagine that? Asking Bailey for change so I can buy you an engagement ring. She made a joke about how now is not the time to be going to the slots but once I told her, she gave me the change. Told me to pick out something nice. And so I chose the gumball machine in the Peds wing, because everyone knows that that is the place to go.” Arizona jokes with a forced laugh, shaking her head slightly as her blond curls bounce around her face.
“I almost lost you and that... I never want that to happen again. I never want … I never told you how much you mean to me. I could blame it on my military upbringing, how my parents never really let us talk about how we feel because there are greater things going on in the world than getting our feelings hurt or being happy because we were the line leader in the third grade. But it's a pointless attempt because the truth is, you scare me. Especially now when I realized how you really are not the superhero that you always try to me. Yet it is also in realizing that, that gave me the strength to tell you what I have never been strong enough to tell you before. I don't want to waste anymore time because of the crutch known as fear. I'm tired of living like that.” Arizona grinds her teeth down hard as she shakes her head, watching Callie carefully.
“You are everything to me. You always have been. You and that baby. We are a family. You and me and our daughter and hell, even Mark. I know that I told you that this wasn't my dream and that isn't exactly a lie, because sharing a life with Mark isn't my dream but you are. Waking up to you every morning, holding you close to me, having breakfast in bed, coming home to you every evening. Bubble baths. Anniversaries. A big front yard. Dogs. The sound of little feet on the hardwood. Our kids sneaking into our bed in the middle of the night. Dancing with you to the most random songs. Kissing you even when the world is looking. Seeing you, touching you, holding you and know that you are everything I need. You are my dream, Calliope.”
“I almost lost you and you didn't know that you and our baby are my entire world. You didn't know that I can't breathe without you because I never told you. But I am telling you now and I am going to tell you for the rest of our lives, every single day now until forever. I am in love with you. You are my solace, my strength when I am weak, you make me better. I can't and I won't let you go. Not ever again, you hear me? Love is the one thing that never goes away, even when the world is hard. Love never fails nor alters no matter what is in it's way. And I love you. And you love me. And that is all that matters right now and every day.” She is beginning to cry now and Callie only listens, a warm smile upon her face.
“I want you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you and our daughter and our nine other little Robbins-Torres rugrats. I want to grow old with you, sitting on the front porch watching our kids play in the yard. I want to wake up to you every morning, I want to fall asleep with you every night. I want us. You are the other half of me, the best half. And I am hopelessly and forever in love with you. I was made for you and you for me.” Arizona smiles through a cry and Callie smiles.
“Done yet, you hopeless romantic?” interjects Callie and Arizona glares.
“Shut up, you are ruining the moment! God, can't a woman propose correctly in peace?!” Arizona grumbles with a roll of her eyes and Callie laughs.
“I'm sorry, please, go on.” She gestures with a flick of her wrist and Arizona sighs dramatically.
“Anyways, like I was saying before someone rudely interrupted me. I was made for you and you were made me for me. I want to spend the rest of my life with you, every day from this point forward until I draw my last breath. You are it for me. You are my forever. So, will you, Calliope Iphigenia Torres, do me the honor of becoming my wife?” Arizona asks, holding the plastic ring toward the raven haired beauty and Callie smirks.
“Hmm... maybe.”
“Maybe?!”
“Well yeah, I mean I have to think about it.” Callie teases with a smirk and a roll of her shoulders. Arizona gasps, her mouth ajar as she stares at the woman sitting above her and Callie laughs at her.
“B-but when I-I asked before, you.. you already said y-yes. You can't.. you cannot take it back! No take backs!” Arizona whines and Callie can not help but laugh at her beautiful fiancee, clearly enjoying the fun that she is having with the painfully nervous woman before her on a bended knee.
“I had just woken up after having life saving surgeries and having a child cut out of me. I was in shock. Now that I think about it, this is a pretty serious commitment, especially when my last marriage ended with my husband cheating on me with his best friend. What if you cheat on me with Teddy? Oh God. Now wouldn't that just be terrible. And plus there is our daughter to consider. Gee Arizona, I just.. I don't know.” Callie teases with a playful smile and Arizona only watches with wide horrified eyes.
“Calliope!” Arizona squeaks and the Latina snorts before she bellows out in a laughter. Arizona looks up at her with a wrinkled brow in confusion as Callie smiles, placing her hand atop of Arizona's .
“Oh, that was too easy. Of course I will marry you, Arizona.” Callie sighs with a smile, licking her lips as she nods her head, “I would be the luckiest woman on earth to call myself your wife.” To this, the blond smiles with a giggle, slipping the plastic ring upon the other woman's left hand, her dimples deep enough that Callie swears that she could fall in them and die in happiness. Arizona slowly picks herself up from the bended knee and places her lips softly against Callie's. It is their first kiss since the accident and she almost swears that it is a kiss that stops the world around her. Everything is different now, but a good different. Gently, she climbs into bed beside of her fiancée, threading her fingers through hers as she plays with the plastic ring, resting her head on her uninjured shoulder.
“I promise I will buy you a better one once we are out of here and all three of us are home.” Arizona whispers, her eyes beginning to close as the sleep calls for her. Callie shakes her head, studying the piece of plastic on her finger before she smiles at Arizona.
“No, don't. This... this is more than enough. This is simple and symbolic and I love this. This is all I need. You are all I need. I love it. I love you.” She whispers as she places a kiss atop of the blond curls before her eyes begin to close soon. “Mrs. Calliope Torres-Robbins.” She smiles sleepily, that is a dream that she could get used to.