Causalities of War [1/?]
Title: Causalities of War
Author: brittlovesher
Tagline: “Sometimes, you wonder what your life would have been like if the two of you had not shared the kiss in Joe's bathroom. But you know that you would be nothing without her. She is everything that you ever need and that terrifies you.”
Summary: During Arizona's last few months of pregnancy, Calliope something so unexpected and unthinkable. Suddenly their relationship is put to the test and neither are sure of the outcome this time. At the end of the day, can love truly overcome any obstacle that stands in the way?
Pairing: Callie/Arizona with Arizona/Addison and Callie/Owen
Rated: Mature Audiences for themes unsuitable for children.
Disclaimer: All television shows, movies, books and other copyrighted material referred to in this work, and the characters, settings and events thereof, are properties of their respective owners. As this work is an interpretation of the original material and not for profit, it constitutes fair use. Reference to real persons, places, or events are made in a fictional context, and are not intended to be libelous, defamatory, or in any way factual.
-
Chapter One
It's been a hell of a day and not the good kind that Calliope usually likes to relax after, either. A group of kids were involved in a car accident, because the driver was texting and driving, although she is sure his parents have told him a million times to never do so. Five teenagers, two died on the table and the other three? Well, she is not sure if they will even make it through the night. Five lives that are cut terribly short all because one guy could not wait to text his friends until he was actually off the road and not endangering any one's lives.
She doesn't know how Arizona does it every day. How she can handle seeing kid's parents and actually telling them that, even though she tried as hard as she could, she could not save their children. She watched as Trevor's parent's stared at her in complete surprise, tears bestowed in his fragile mother's eyes and his father stood strong, but silently breaking inside. She explained to them how, although they tried desperately to save their young son, by the time he arrived at the hospital, he already lost too much blood and his heart could not handle the stress his body was under. She watched as two parents lost a child and it nearly killed her to know that she was the one who informed them of so, she has no idea how her bubbly blond girlfriend manages to do it every day.
Calliope tugs her leather jacket tightly around her body as she enters the hallway to their apartment, struggling to forget the events of today. She could not allow the sadness of losing those children seep into her night, not with Arizona, because she deserved so much more than a pouting girlfriend. Especially after everything that she has been through lately. Arizona has sacrificed so much for her in the past few months, the least she could do was leave work at work and enjoy the time with her adorning, perfect girlfriend. Because, she knew, that it would not last long.
As she rounds the corner to her apartment, she collides into Owen Hunt, the strong and solemn attending. They both stumble with a nervous laugh as they try to unknot their bodies that have now somehow became an intertwined mess of legs and arms. Owen laughs nervously as he places his hands softly upon Callie's shoulders, standing her still as he steps back and toward the left, freeing their knotted bodies. Callie blushes as a soft shade of red dances in circles in her perfectly round cheeks before she shakes her head with a laugh.
“I'm sorry. My head is a million miles away right now,” Callie apologizes, clutching her purse under her left arm. Owen nods his head with a warm smile, shoving his hands in his pockets as they stand in the silence of the hallway. Both of them unfortunately aware of the ginormous elephant between them, both of them aware of the secrets that neither have dared to tell their girlfriends.
“Are you thinking about next Friday?” asks Owen and it would be a lie if Callie said she was not because it is all that is on her mind as of late. She keeps replaying the decision in her head, practicing the lines that she would tell Arizona of why she would no longer be around for a while, but none of it made sense any more. She does not know how or why she chose to make the decision that she has, but she knows that it is the right thing to do, even if no-one but her saw that.
“Honestly? Yeah. I'm freakin' terrified,” Callie admits, digging her apartment keys from her purse as she walks toward the door, Owen following behind her in his quiet gentle-man like state. She smiles quietly to herself, listening as his footsteps follow hers and she wonders how it is possible that someone so distant as Cristina, someone who kept herself so guarded and came across as so bitter and cold, could be so in love with Owen? But she sees it, because she finds the same exact characteristics in Owen that she loves about Arizona.
“Have you told Cristina?” Callie asks, leaning against her door-facing and she watches as the fear and sadness quickly fills within Owen's haunting blue eyes. She doesn't even have to hear the answer because the expression that is written across his stern face tells her everything and she knows that it is the exact same expression that is bestrew upon her face when she even begins to think of informing Arizona of the secret.
“I...I don't know how. You know? Cristina is just now starting to trust me and let her walls down, I can't look at her and tell her something like that because she deserves more than that. I mean....I...what do you say?” Owen replies, shifting his weight from one foot to the other. Callie sighs, clutching the apartment keys within her hands, staring intently at her wooden door, knowing exactly what awaited her on the other side.
“I don't know. I still haven't told Arizona yet,” Callie answers and Owen allows a quiet chuckle to escape from his lips. Callie turns to him, her brow wrinkled as she turns her head to the side, the all too familiar defiant 'how are you' look painted into her beautiful russet brown orbs.
“I'm sorry but don't you think you should have told her by now?” Owen remarks and it only receives an eye roll.
“Hey, don't judge me. You haven't told Cristina yet either, bub,” Callie replies, pushing herself toward the tall, strong man. Owen only smiles with a simple nod of his head before he crosses his arms across his chest, leaning against the beige painted wall. Never before had Calliope saw exactly how alike the two were, both damaged, both fearfully in love with two women that they never thought they would ever find themselves the slightest bit attracted to. And now both were struggling to understand the consequences of the decisions they have made.
“I'm aware of that, thank you. But Arizona is....she's fragile right now. Delicate. Cristina is like a robot, I know that she can handle my news. But Dr. Robbins? I don't...I don't think that she is going to handle it well, Torres. And the fact that you are putting it off to the last minute isn't exactly going to help her with this,” Owen exclaims with a shake of his head and as much as Calliope wishes that she could call him out of judging her girlfriend, as much as she wishes that she could tell him that she is wrong, she knows that she can not. Because he is exactly right.
“She's not...she's not going to be okay with this, you know?” Callie whispers and Owen sighs.
“None of us are, Torres,” Owen says and Callie sighs, with a simple nod of her head. She steps forward, pushing her keys into the door before she glances over her shoulder to find the gallant Owen Hunt watching her, a weak smile forming upon his lips. Now, she realizes, that as alone as they both thought they were, there always had been a greater plan for the both of them. And her greater plan is awaiting her behind the door that she is too afraid of opening.
“Do you...uh...do you want to come in?” Callie asks and Owen shrugs his shoulders with a warm smile, the kind that tells her that things are never going to be the same after this, the kind that tells her that she needs to hold on as tightly as she can before she has to let go for possibly forever.
“No. This is something that you have to do alone. There's no place for me here,” Owen replies with a smile, he turns to leave but before he does, he turns to Callie, “hey, Torres? If it's any consolation, I think that you are doing the right thing.” To this she only nods her head with a smile before she pushes the door open to the apartment that she shares with Arizona. She lays her keys down on the table as she slips the leather jacket from her body and the soft music of the Glee soundtrack bounces around their apartment from the Ipod speakers that lay upon the table.
“Arizona?” She calls out in a sing song voice and the blond quickly emerges from the bedroom, trying desperately to fold the pink jumper in her hands, her large seven months pregnant stomach very much visible through the fabric of her shirt. Calliope can not stop the smile from forming upon her lips with a simple wrinkle of her nose, she makes her way toward her beautiful girlfriend who awaits her with a familiar smile as well.
I can see it
Your face is glowing
I can see it in your eyes
I'm happy you know it.
You're having my baby
You're the woman I love
And I love what it's doing to ya
You're having my baby
You're a woman in love
And I love what's going through ya
The need inside you
I see it showing
The seed inside you, baby
Do you feel it growing?
Are you happy that you know it?
Callie smiles as her hands curve upon Arizona's hips, her lips softly pressing against her warm pink. She smiles mid kiss, pulling away, bumping her nose against hers, watching as the dimple revealing smile continues to spread on her girlfriend's face. She pulls away from her, taking the pink jumper from her hands, placing it on the counter as she stops the soundtrack that somehow seems to always annoyingly be on continuous play in their apartment. She threads their fingers together as she leads her to the sofa, softly sitting down beside of her.
“I missed you,” Callie sighs with a chuckle and Arizona shrugs her shoulders, placing her hands upon her baby bump and Calliope can swear that she can see her eyes lighting up with excitement and the thought of having her child.
“We missed you, too. How was work?” Arizona asks with eager eyes and Callie only rolls her eyes with a laugh, leaning into the fabric as she traces the lines upon her girlfriend's palm, slowly taking in the moment that surrounds the two of them. Enjoying it as if it was their last, because maybe, just maybe, it would be.
“I've been in the door a total of five seconds and you are already asking me about work. Addison told you that you need to take it easy and not worry during the last few months of our pregnancy. She told you that this was already a high risk pregnancy, we shouldn't risk it by worrying about work,” Callie mumbles with a husky laugh before she leans over, placing a kiss upon one of Arizona's deliriously miraculous dimples, “but work is fine. Bailey told me to tell you that Cheyenne gets to go home today.”
“Melanoma girl? Really? Wow. I guess they are right when they say Derek Shepard is a Nero God. I'm glad that I made him have a consult with me before Addison put me on leave. She may not have made it without him,” Arizona sighs, turning to Callie with a smile.
“You should have seen her, Calliope. She is such an amazing little girl. She's only eight years old but she already knows what she wants to do with the rest of her life. In fact she probably knows more about herself than I do. She wants to save little children who are sick like she is, she wants to give them hope again because she says that kids shouldn't have to worry about things like that when they are young. She wants to give them their innocence back. She's...amazing. She's going to make the difference in the world that our little girl gets to grow up in,” Arizona coos, pride and excitement bouncing through out her blue orbs and it nearly takes Callie's breath to see her like this. She knows that it is killing her not being able to see her patients every day but in the end, when they are holding their daughter, it's going to be worth it, she smiles.
“She gets to make a difference in the world that our daughter grows up in because of you, Arizona. You saved her,” Callie exclaims, trying to give her girlfriend the much needed praise that she knows that she deserves. Arizona only smiles with a soft shrug of her shoulders, the color of embarrassment now dancing in circles within her beautiful cheeks.
“Technically, Dr. Shepard saved her. I only diagnosed the problem and provided her with the proper care that my oath states that I should. I was just doing my job,” Arizona admits with a smile but Calliope doesn't believe her, because all of this, has always been so much more than just a job to the bouncing blond.
“No, it's not just a job for you, is it? The entire time that I have known you being in pediatrics has never been just a job for you. It's who you are, 'Zona. You do everything that you possibly can to save those little kids from life threatening illnesses. You save little kids who some doctors deem unsurvivable. You bring families back together again. Because it's who you are. Not just because it's what you took an oath to do,” Callie smiles, her eyes locking intently with Arizona's aqua blue. The blond purses her lips as a quiet breath escapes from her, she contemplates saying something, but before she can, her bad ass Ortho girlfriend beats her to it.
“You didn't take an oath in med school to kiss a stranger in a bar, but you did it, anyway. Why? Why did you stick around when I was broken? I was a hot mess and you know that, whether you admit it now or not. I was so screwed up because of Erica. Hell, I was even crying in that bathroom because of her that night. And you just waltzed in, told me that people would be lining up for me and you kissed me. Why?” Callie asks and it is the question that she has always wanted to know the answer to since that night, the question that she knows will tell her what she already knows about the beautiful, very pregnant girl that sits beside of her.
“Because I knew you were different. I can't explain it...I can't...you were standing there, with those tears rolling down your cheeks and I knew that you were different than all the rest because of the way that I felt around you. You were worth fighting for then, Calliope and you are worth fighting for now. I care about you. I love you. And that's just the way that it is,” Arizona replies with a shake of her head. Callie smiles as she cups her girlfriend's face in her hands, pressing her lips tightly against hers. It's an easy, perfect fit, not sloppy or messy or desperate, just a simple, innocent kiss that says everything that both of the expectant parents felt pulsing through their veins. Callie pulls away with a sheepish grin, fighting back the tears in her eyes as she swallows the fear in the back of her throat.
“You care like crazy and I love that about you. I love you, and I love our baby that is growing inside of you,” Callie smiles, placing her hand upon the prodding baby bump, her russet eyes locking passionately with the most beautiful off shade of blue, the most amazing pair of blue eyes that she can fall into every single time that she sees them, the most amazing pair of blue eyes that steals her breath and sees right through her every single time.
“Ari...I...I have something to tell you. And I don't...I don't think that you are going to like it very much,” Callie sighs, closing her eyes tightly to keep the tears from falling and she nearly allows the cries to escape from within her when she feels her soft fingers intertwine in a woven mess around hers.
“What? You want to name our baby Agatha? Or worse, Erica?” Arizona jokes with a beautiful laugh that sounds like the most beautiful melody to Calliope's ears, a sound that she knows she is going to miss hearing for the next few months. She sighs a breathless sigh as she twists her fingers through Arizona's blond curls, forcing a weak smile to turn upwards upon her lips as she desperately tries to hide the fear in her eyes.
“I'm serious, okay? You're going....you're going to freak out. You're going to get angry and you're going to want hit me. You're going to think that I'm being selfish, that I'm completely out of line to even consider doing this and you're going to think that I'm absolutely crazy. Maybe you'll wish that we never happened, maybe you'll wish that you had never told me that you loved me. But...in the end...in the end this is the right thing and in the end...I think that even though you aren't going to want to...you'll understand this. At least I pray that you do,” Callie whimpers and Arizona shifts in her seat, her brow wrinkled as she cups the raven haired beauty's face in her hands, placing a delicate kiss upon her lips.
“Whatever this is, Calliope, we'll get through it. Together,” Arizona promises with a warm smile and it is exactly the words that Calliope needs to hear, the exact words that tear down the walls that she has spent the last few days building keep Arizona out, the words that would forever change her life.
“I joined the Army. I signed up to be an Ortho Surgeon. I leave next Friday,” Callie mumbles and suddenly she is very aware of the absence of Arizona's hands upon her face and she is very aware of the distance that now separates the two of them on the sofa. She is too afraid to tear her eyes away from the sonogram picture on the table in front of her to see the tears in Arizona's eyes, she's too afraid to even look at her because she knows the second that she does, she is going to fall apart and maybe this time, she won't be so easily fixable.
“No,” Arizona chokes out in a cry and it is then that Calliope's russet brown eyes meet her oval face and instantly her heart twists in knots when she notices the tears that are cascading down her cheeks. Silently she curses herself as she clinches her eyes to keep the tears from falling down her own cheeks as well, she had to be strong because Arizona deserves at least that much from her.
“Ari, please understand,” Callie begs, her voice shaking. Suddenly she finds the once beautiful pair of blue eyes staring into her and she hardly recognizes them anymore because of the amount of pain that is painted within her innocent blue strokes. Pain that she caused. Pain that she was supposed to protect her from. Her lips part as she struggles to find that strength that Arizona has now taken away from her. The blond scoffs as she slowly stands with a hard push forward, placing her hand upon her baby bump, their daughter kicking under her touch. She winces for a moment as a cry escapes her before she shakes her head, her blue eyes meeting with Callie's.
“My brother died over there, Calliope. I buried one person I loved because of that war and I'm sure as hell not about to bury my daughter's mother because of that damn war either. You are not doing this to me and you are not doing this to your daughter, either. You're not. Because I won't let you. Because I am about to raise this child without you,” Arizona cries and she waits for a moment, expecting Calliope to say something but when the moment passes with only silence, she just chuckles, turning on her heels as she slams the bedroom door hard behind her.
“Damn it. Damn it!” Callie curses, holding her head in her hands as the tears fall freely from her eyes now. This was not the reaction that she had hoped for, she never wanted to see those tears in her beautiful blue eyes, she never wanted any of this to hurt her, yet it did. Now this war, this pain she is putting Arizona through, is something that she must learn how to live with. Because if she doesn't, she'll only have a one way ticket over there.
Author: brittlovesher
Tagline: “Sometimes, you wonder what your life would have been like if the two of you had not shared the kiss in Joe's bathroom. But you know that you would be nothing without her. She is everything that you ever need and that terrifies you.”
Summary: During Arizona's last few months of pregnancy, Calliope something so unexpected and unthinkable. Suddenly their relationship is put to the test and neither are sure of the outcome this time. At the end of the day, can love truly overcome any obstacle that stands in the way?
Pairing: Callie/Arizona with Arizona/Addison and Callie/Owen
Rated: Mature Audiences for themes unsuitable for children.
Disclaimer: All television shows, movies, books and other copyrighted material referred to in this work, and the characters, settings and events thereof, are properties of their respective owners. As this work is an interpretation of the original material and not for profit, it constitutes fair use. Reference to real persons, places, or events are made in a fictional context, and are not intended to be libelous, defamatory, or in any way factual.
-
Chapter One
It's been a hell of a day and not the good kind that Calliope usually likes to relax after, either. A group of kids were involved in a car accident, because the driver was texting and driving, although she is sure his parents have told him a million times to never do so. Five teenagers, two died on the table and the other three? Well, she is not sure if they will even make it through the night. Five lives that are cut terribly short all because one guy could not wait to text his friends until he was actually off the road and not endangering any one's lives.
She doesn't know how Arizona does it every day. How she can handle seeing kid's parents and actually telling them that, even though she tried as hard as she could, she could not save their children. She watched as Trevor's parent's stared at her in complete surprise, tears bestowed in his fragile mother's eyes and his father stood strong, but silently breaking inside. She explained to them how, although they tried desperately to save their young son, by the time he arrived at the hospital, he already lost too much blood and his heart could not handle the stress his body was under. She watched as two parents lost a child and it nearly killed her to know that she was the one who informed them of so, she has no idea how her bubbly blond girlfriend manages to do it every day.
Calliope tugs her leather jacket tightly around her body as she enters the hallway to their apartment, struggling to forget the events of today. She could not allow the sadness of losing those children seep into her night, not with Arizona, because she deserved so much more than a pouting girlfriend. Especially after everything that she has been through lately. Arizona has sacrificed so much for her in the past few months, the least she could do was leave work at work and enjoy the time with her adorning, perfect girlfriend. Because, she knew, that it would not last long.
As she rounds the corner to her apartment, she collides into Owen Hunt, the strong and solemn attending. They both stumble with a nervous laugh as they try to unknot their bodies that have now somehow became an intertwined mess of legs and arms. Owen laughs nervously as he places his hands softly upon Callie's shoulders, standing her still as he steps back and toward the left, freeing their knotted bodies. Callie blushes as a soft shade of red dances in circles in her perfectly round cheeks before she shakes her head with a laugh.
“I'm sorry. My head is a million miles away right now,” Callie apologizes, clutching her purse under her left arm. Owen nods his head with a warm smile, shoving his hands in his pockets as they stand in the silence of the hallway. Both of them unfortunately aware of the ginormous elephant between them, both of them aware of the secrets that neither have dared to tell their girlfriends.
“Are you thinking about next Friday?” asks Owen and it would be a lie if Callie said she was not because it is all that is on her mind as of late. She keeps replaying the decision in her head, practicing the lines that she would tell Arizona of why she would no longer be around for a while, but none of it made sense any more. She does not know how or why she chose to make the decision that she has, but she knows that it is the right thing to do, even if no-one but her saw that.
“Honestly? Yeah. I'm freakin' terrified,” Callie admits, digging her apartment keys from her purse as she walks toward the door, Owen following behind her in his quiet gentle-man like state. She smiles quietly to herself, listening as his footsteps follow hers and she wonders how it is possible that someone so distant as Cristina, someone who kept herself so guarded and came across as so bitter and cold, could be so in love with Owen? But she sees it, because she finds the same exact characteristics in Owen that she loves about Arizona.
“Have you told Cristina?” Callie asks, leaning against her door-facing and she watches as the fear and sadness quickly fills within Owen's haunting blue eyes. She doesn't even have to hear the answer because the expression that is written across his stern face tells her everything and she knows that it is the exact same expression that is bestrew upon her face when she even begins to think of informing Arizona of the secret.
“I...I don't know how. You know? Cristina is just now starting to trust me and let her walls down, I can't look at her and tell her something like that because she deserves more than that. I mean....I...what do you say?” Owen replies, shifting his weight from one foot to the other. Callie sighs, clutching the apartment keys within her hands, staring intently at her wooden door, knowing exactly what awaited her on the other side.
“I don't know. I still haven't told Arizona yet,” Callie answers and Owen allows a quiet chuckle to escape from his lips. Callie turns to him, her brow wrinkled as she turns her head to the side, the all too familiar defiant 'how are you' look painted into her beautiful russet brown orbs.
“I'm sorry but don't you think you should have told her by now?” Owen remarks and it only receives an eye roll.
“Hey, don't judge me. You haven't told Cristina yet either, bub,” Callie replies, pushing herself toward the tall, strong man. Owen only smiles with a simple nod of his head before he crosses his arms across his chest, leaning against the beige painted wall. Never before had Calliope saw exactly how alike the two were, both damaged, both fearfully in love with two women that they never thought they would ever find themselves the slightest bit attracted to. And now both were struggling to understand the consequences of the decisions they have made.
“I'm aware of that, thank you. But Arizona is....she's fragile right now. Delicate. Cristina is like a robot, I know that she can handle my news. But Dr. Robbins? I don't...I don't think that she is going to handle it well, Torres. And the fact that you are putting it off to the last minute isn't exactly going to help her with this,” Owen exclaims with a shake of his head and as much as Calliope wishes that she could call him out of judging her girlfriend, as much as she wishes that she could tell him that she is wrong, she knows that she can not. Because he is exactly right.
“She's not...she's not going to be okay with this, you know?” Callie whispers and Owen sighs.
“None of us are, Torres,” Owen says and Callie sighs, with a simple nod of her head. She steps forward, pushing her keys into the door before she glances over her shoulder to find the gallant Owen Hunt watching her, a weak smile forming upon his lips. Now, she realizes, that as alone as they both thought they were, there always had been a greater plan for the both of them. And her greater plan is awaiting her behind the door that she is too afraid of opening.
“Do you...uh...do you want to come in?” Callie asks and Owen shrugs his shoulders with a warm smile, the kind that tells her that things are never going to be the same after this, the kind that tells her that she needs to hold on as tightly as she can before she has to let go for possibly forever.
“No. This is something that you have to do alone. There's no place for me here,” Owen replies with a smile, he turns to leave but before he does, he turns to Callie, “hey, Torres? If it's any consolation, I think that you are doing the right thing.” To this she only nods her head with a smile before she pushes the door open to the apartment that she shares with Arizona. She lays her keys down on the table as she slips the leather jacket from her body and the soft music of the Glee soundtrack bounces around their apartment from the Ipod speakers that lay upon the table.
“Arizona?” She calls out in a sing song voice and the blond quickly emerges from the bedroom, trying desperately to fold the pink jumper in her hands, her large seven months pregnant stomach very much visible through the fabric of her shirt. Calliope can not stop the smile from forming upon her lips with a simple wrinkle of her nose, she makes her way toward her beautiful girlfriend who awaits her with a familiar smile as well.
I can see it
Your face is glowing
I can see it in your eyes
I'm happy you know it.
You're having my baby
You're the woman I love
And I love what it's doing to ya
You're having my baby
You're a woman in love
And I love what's going through ya
The need inside you
I see it showing
The seed inside you, baby
Do you feel it growing?
Are you happy that you know it?
Callie smiles as her hands curve upon Arizona's hips, her lips softly pressing against her warm pink. She smiles mid kiss, pulling away, bumping her nose against hers, watching as the dimple revealing smile continues to spread on her girlfriend's face. She pulls away from her, taking the pink jumper from her hands, placing it on the counter as she stops the soundtrack that somehow seems to always annoyingly be on continuous play in their apartment. She threads their fingers together as she leads her to the sofa, softly sitting down beside of her.
“I missed you,” Callie sighs with a chuckle and Arizona shrugs her shoulders, placing her hands upon her baby bump and Calliope can swear that she can see her eyes lighting up with excitement and the thought of having her child.
“We missed you, too. How was work?” Arizona asks with eager eyes and Callie only rolls her eyes with a laugh, leaning into the fabric as she traces the lines upon her girlfriend's palm, slowly taking in the moment that surrounds the two of them. Enjoying it as if it was their last, because maybe, just maybe, it would be.
“I've been in the door a total of five seconds and you are already asking me about work. Addison told you that you need to take it easy and not worry during the last few months of our pregnancy. She told you that this was already a high risk pregnancy, we shouldn't risk it by worrying about work,” Callie mumbles with a husky laugh before she leans over, placing a kiss upon one of Arizona's deliriously miraculous dimples, “but work is fine. Bailey told me to tell you that Cheyenne gets to go home today.”
“Melanoma girl? Really? Wow. I guess they are right when they say Derek Shepard is a Nero God. I'm glad that I made him have a consult with me before Addison put me on leave. She may not have made it without him,” Arizona sighs, turning to Callie with a smile.
“You should have seen her, Calliope. She is such an amazing little girl. She's only eight years old but she already knows what she wants to do with the rest of her life. In fact she probably knows more about herself than I do. She wants to save little children who are sick like she is, she wants to give them hope again because she says that kids shouldn't have to worry about things like that when they are young. She wants to give them their innocence back. She's...amazing. She's going to make the difference in the world that our little girl gets to grow up in,” Arizona coos, pride and excitement bouncing through out her blue orbs and it nearly takes Callie's breath to see her like this. She knows that it is killing her not being able to see her patients every day but in the end, when they are holding their daughter, it's going to be worth it, she smiles.
“She gets to make a difference in the world that our daughter grows up in because of you, Arizona. You saved her,” Callie exclaims, trying to give her girlfriend the much needed praise that she knows that she deserves. Arizona only smiles with a soft shrug of her shoulders, the color of embarrassment now dancing in circles within her beautiful cheeks.
“Technically, Dr. Shepard saved her. I only diagnosed the problem and provided her with the proper care that my oath states that I should. I was just doing my job,” Arizona admits with a smile but Calliope doesn't believe her, because all of this, has always been so much more than just a job to the bouncing blond.
“No, it's not just a job for you, is it? The entire time that I have known you being in pediatrics has never been just a job for you. It's who you are, 'Zona. You do everything that you possibly can to save those little kids from life threatening illnesses. You save little kids who some doctors deem unsurvivable. You bring families back together again. Because it's who you are. Not just because it's what you took an oath to do,” Callie smiles, her eyes locking intently with Arizona's aqua blue. The blond purses her lips as a quiet breath escapes from her, she contemplates saying something, but before she can, her bad ass Ortho girlfriend beats her to it.
“You didn't take an oath in med school to kiss a stranger in a bar, but you did it, anyway. Why? Why did you stick around when I was broken? I was a hot mess and you know that, whether you admit it now or not. I was so screwed up because of Erica. Hell, I was even crying in that bathroom because of her that night. And you just waltzed in, told me that people would be lining up for me and you kissed me. Why?” Callie asks and it is the question that she has always wanted to know the answer to since that night, the question that she knows will tell her what she already knows about the beautiful, very pregnant girl that sits beside of her.
“Because I knew you were different. I can't explain it...I can't...you were standing there, with those tears rolling down your cheeks and I knew that you were different than all the rest because of the way that I felt around you. You were worth fighting for then, Calliope and you are worth fighting for now. I care about you. I love you. And that's just the way that it is,” Arizona replies with a shake of her head. Callie smiles as she cups her girlfriend's face in her hands, pressing her lips tightly against hers. It's an easy, perfect fit, not sloppy or messy or desperate, just a simple, innocent kiss that says everything that both of the expectant parents felt pulsing through their veins. Callie pulls away with a sheepish grin, fighting back the tears in her eyes as she swallows the fear in the back of her throat.
“You care like crazy and I love that about you. I love you, and I love our baby that is growing inside of you,” Callie smiles, placing her hand upon the prodding baby bump, her russet eyes locking passionately with the most beautiful off shade of blue, the most amazing pair of blue eyes that she can fall into every single time that she sees them, the most amazing pair of blue eyes that steals her breath and sees right through her every single time.
“Ari...I...I have something to tell you. And I don't...I don't think that you are going to like it very much,” Callie sighs, closing her eyes tightly to keep the tears from falling and she nearly allows the cries to escape from within her when she feels her soft fingers intertwine in a woven mess around hers.
“What? You want to name our baby Agatha? Or worse, Erica?” Arizona jokes with a beautiful laugh that sounds like the most beautiful melody to Calliope's ears, a sound that she knows she is going to miss hearing for the next few months. She sighs a breathless sigh as she twists her fingers through Arizona's blond curls, forcing a weak smile to turn upwards upon her lips as she desperately tries to hide the fear in her eyes.
“I'm serious, okay? You're going....you're going to freak out. You're going to get angry and you're going to want hit me. You're going to think that I'm being selfish, that I'm completely out of line to even consider doing this and you're going to think that I'm absolutely crazy. Maybe you'll wish that we never happened, maybe you'll wish that you had never told me that you loved me. But...in the end...in the end this is the right thing and in the end...I think that even though you aren't going to want to...you'll understand this. At least I pray that you do,” Callie whimpers and Arizona shifts in her seat, her brow wrinkled as she cups the raven haired beauty's face in her hands, placing a delicate kiss upon her lips.
“Whatever this is, Calliope, we'll get through it. Together,” Arizona promises with a warm smile and it is exactly the words that Calliope needs to hear, the exact words that tear down the walls that she has spent the last few days building keep Arizona out, the words that would forever change her life.
“I joined the Army. I signed up to be an Ortho Surgeon. I leave next Friday,” Callie mumbles and suddenly she is very aware of the absence of Arizona's hands upon her face and she is very aware of the distance that now separates the two of them on the sofa. She is too afraid to tear her eyes away from the sonogram picture on the table in front of her to see the tears in Arizona's eyes, she's too afraid to even look at her because she knows the second that she does, she is going to fall apart and maybe this time, she won't be so easily fixable.
“No,” Arizona chokes out in a cry and it is then that Calliope's russet brown eyes meet her oval face and instantly her heart twists in knots when she notices the tears that are cascading down her cheeks. Silently she curses herself as she clinches her eyes to keep the tears from falling down her own cheeks as well, she had to be strong because Arizona deserves at least that much from her.
“Ari, please understand,” Callie begs, her voice shaking. Suddenly she finds the once beautiful pair of blue eyes staring into her and she hardly recognizes them anymore because of the amount of pain that is painted within her innocent blue strokes. Pain that she caused. Pain that she was supposed to protect her from. Her lips part as she struggles to find that strength that Arizona has now taken away from her. The blond scoffs as she slowly stands with a hard push forward, placing her hand upon her baby bump, their daughter kicking under her touch. She winces for a moment as a cry escapes her before she shakes her head, her blue eyes meeting with Callie's.
“My brother died over there, Calliope. I buried one person I loved because of that war and I'm sure as hell not about to bury my daughter's mother because of that damn war either. You are not doing this to me and you are not doing this to your daughter, either. You're not. Because I won't let you. Because I am about to raise this child without you,” Arizona cries and she waits for a moment, expecting Calliope to say something but when the moment passes with only silence, she just chuckles, turning on her heels as she slams the bedroom door hard behind her.
“Damn it. Damn it!” Callie curses, holding her head in her hands as the tears fall freely from her eyes now. This was not the reaction that she had hoped for, she never wanted to see those tears in her beautiful blue eyes, she never wanted any of this to hurt her, yet it did. Now this war, this pain she is putting Arizona through, is something that she must learn how to live with. Because if she doesn't, she'll only have a one way ticket over there.