Silver Lining [2b/2]
Title: Silver Lining
Pairing: Santana/Brittany, Santana/Quinn, Rachel/Quinn, Brittany/Rachel
Rating: R
Summary: Part 2 of this story, kind of a sequel to the Brittana one-shot Slave, but all you need to know is that Brittany and Rachel once kissed in a bathroom and Santana and Brittany fought a boy in the 7th grade together once.
Spoilers: Pilot through Sectionals
2b
It’d been a long time since she was in Rachel’s room, but it was exactly the way she remembered it. She didn’t think there would be any changes, but she was still surprised to see that it was exactly the way she remembered it.
Rachel found a couple of Lean Cuisine frozen foods in the freezer, popped them in the microwave and they were contentedly eating them, sitting cross-legged on the floor in Rachel’s room.
“So, did you submit your SIR form to BU yet?” Rachel asked.
Quinn sighed. “Not yet.”
Rachel’s eyes widened. “Quinn! You have, like, two weeks to do it! You’re going to miss the deadline.”
Quinn sighed again. “It’s going to be a real struggle. My parents aren’t going to help at all. But I really want to get out of Lima. But there’s no guarantee I’m going to get an affordable apartment. I can’t live in the dorm because of Maggie. And I won’t have Mrs. Puckerman to do all the babysitting. And I just don’t think college is right for me. At least, right now.”
Rachel sighed. “It would really suck if you stayed here,” she said quietly.
Quinn rubbed her face. “And I turn 18 in, like, three weeks, and my parents are totally going to kick me out. They’re just counting down the days.”
“I’m sorry your parents are still so awful.”
Quinn smiled grimly. “Yeah, me too.”
“At least…” Rachel hesitated. “At least you’re already a better parent than your parents were,” she said softly. “I think you should just…take a leap of faith and go to BU and hope everything will work out. If I had to choose one person that I knew was going to make it after high school, I’d choose you, Quinn.”
Quinn looked at her wryly. “You’re just trying to make me feel better.”
Rachel chuckled. “Look, you don’t get to be the Queen Bee of high school without being a little…you know, tenacious. I know you’d make it.”
Quinn raised an eyebrow. “Yeah, and now I’m a teen mom and a Gleek.”
Rachel laughed, but became somber. “I know Noah would help you.”
“Yeah,” Quinn said. “I know.”
“Listen…what if I talked to my dads and you could move in here after you turn 18?”
“You don’t have a spare bedroom,” Quinn pointed out.
“So we’ll share mine,” Rachel said. “If you go to BU, it’ll only be for a few months.”
“You don’t like to share,” Quinn said flatly.
“Well,” Rachel said. “Neither do you.”
“Yeah, but I have a sister. So I know how to share, even though I don’t like to. You have no idea how to share.”
Rachel chuckled. “Well, I need to learn. I mean, I’m going to be sharing a dorm room at Julliard. I should start now.”
“But you’ll be sharing it with me and Maggie.”
“Maggie doesn’t take up much space, she’s not even two yet.”
“Your dads will never say yes. I mean, why would they say yes?”
“Because my dads know what it feels like to be rejected by family,” Rachel said softly. Each of her fathers had been thrown out of the house when they were kids, too, and they’d found a way to make it. But they wouldn’t have made it without help, and they were willing to help Quinn, now, too, because Quinn had to make it. She just did. “They both do. Plus, they know you and they like you.”
Quinn looked dejected. “Yeah, but they’re not going to want to take on two more mouths to feed. I mean, I can’t pay them rent or anything. I don’t know what I’m going to do.”
Rachel released a soft breath. She wouldn’t have brought it up if she hadn’t already asked her dads. She wouldn’t have wanted to get Quinn’s hopes up, only to dash them.
“Would you want to live here? With me?” Rachel asked. “It’s going to be a tight fit. You and Maggie aren’t going to have your own rooms like you do at your house.”
Quinn’s lip curled in disdain. “I want out of there just as much as they want us out.”
“Would you want to live here?” Rachel repeated quietly. “With me.”
Quinn sighed softly. “I could think of worse fates, but--”
“I already asked my dads,” Rachel blurted softly.
Quinn looked at her, startled. “Why?”
Rachel tucked her palm under her chin and looked at Quinn thoughtfully. “You were worried about where you were going to go when you turned 18,” she said softly. “And I’m kind of…familiar with people who don’t change their minds. So I asked my dads, and they think it’s okay.” She thought back to when she was a kid and she’d make a friend only to be rejected by that friend when their parents found out who her parents were.
“I don’t know if it’ll work,” Quinn said softly.
“Well, if we kill each other, one of us can have her own room again,” Rachel joked.
Quinn laughed, but then became serious again. “I don’t have anywhere else I can go,” she said, her voice breaking slightly.
“You have here,” Rachel said. She looked around. “We can make space. It’ll only be for a few months, and then we’ll both go to college. Both of us,” Rachel said emphatically.
“I’ll be in student loan debt for the rest of my life if I go.”
Rachel grinned. “So will I.”
“My parents aren’t going to help me at all,” Quinn said quietly. “Your dads might be cool with Maggie and I staying here for a few months, but they’re going to want me out once it comes time for school to start again. I don’t know if I can do college. I mean, all that debt just to get out of Lima?”
“Student loan debt is much more benign than credit card debt.”
Quinn chuckled. “Who did you hear that from? Suze Orman?”
“Her advice can be very helpful.”
“I just don’t know.”
Rachel reached for Quinn’s hand and held it. “If I were you,” she said softly. “I would want out of Lima and do as much as possible. So you’re going to be paying off student loans, at least you’ll do it somewhere other than here.”
“Yeah,” Quinn said quietly.
“Just…just come live with us,” Rachel said. “You and Maggie. My dads are okay with it. I already asked. And then…go to college. Go to BU. I know that’s where you want to go. And it’s only about 200 miles from Julliard.”
Quinn raised an eyebrow. “Did you look that up?”
Rachel blushed. “Yeah.”
Quinn paused before asking. “Why?” she asked softly.
Rachel exhaled slowly. “I don’t know,” she admitted. “But we’re friends, and I kind of thought we’d stay friends after graduation.”
Quinn smiled. “I kind of thought so, too.” She bit her lip and looked down at her lap. “Why did you ask your dads if I could move in here?” she looked up at Rachel for the brunette’s response.
Rachel sighed softly. “You don’t have anywhere else to go,” she said sadly. “And it made me sad.” She smiled at Quinn. “We’re friends, even though it took us a while to get there.”
Quinn chuckled. “No kidding.”
“I know we can still be kind of crappy to each other sometimes,” Rachel said. “But I never mean it.” She paused. “Do you mean it?”
“No, of course not,” Quinn said immediately. “It just our way.”
“Exactly,” Rachel said with a grin. “It’s just our way. Other people, they’re nice and sweet to one another, like Brit and Santana. But we’re me and you, and sometimes we’re crappy to each other. It’s kind of our thing and I guess I like it. I mean, even though we still say mean things to each other, that doesn’t mean I don’t care about you or what happens to you. And you know I adore Maggie.”
“It’s going to be a tight fit,” Quinn warned quietly. “I’m pretty sure we’re going to make each other cry.”
“Then things will be status quo,” Rachel said with a breezy grin.
“You really don’t mind if I live here?”
“Well, will you?”
“Stop answering a question with a question!”
Rachel chuckled. “I would love to have you live here.”
Quinn felt tears come to her eyes. Since her father let her back into the house, all she wanted was to hear that from one of her parents. But somehow, hearing Rachel say it was even better.
“I’d love to live here.”
--
It was a precarious balancing act having two teenaged girls and a toddler share a bedroom. The polite, courteous way they treated each other gave way to a screaming argument about hair on the carpet and filched sprays of perfume (with the lid left off). More than once Rachel stomped out of her bedroom to sleep on her sofa. More than once Rachel and Quinn glared at one another over the breakfast table with Rachel’s dad looking on in amusement.
“Honey, this is why we never gave you a little brother or sister every time you begged,” one of her fathers would invariably tell Rachel.
But for the most part, it was peaceful and Rachel’s fathers fell in love with Quinn’s little daughter, just like anyone in his or her right mind would. And Quinn and Rachel became even closer because that’s what happened when you had to share a room with someone. There were days when they hated each other, too, of course. But it worked out a lot better than anyone, even them, expected.
“I still think that they’re going to have a real blow up before the end of school,” Santana declared to Brittany one afternoon while they were at Brittany’s house.
Brittany laughed. “Maybe. Maybe not.”
Santana pouted. “You’re no fun. You didn’t even make a bet in the When Will Quinn and Rachel Have a Catfight pool.”
“But I don’t want them to fight.”
“Brittany,” Santana said patiently. “It’s not about wanting them to fight, it’s about making a little money when they do.”
“But they don’t want to fight either.”
“But they will,” Santana said wisely. “Those two always will.”
Brittany smiled beatifically. “I’m betting they won’t.”
Santana chuckled affectionately. “You’re no fun, but I love you anyway.”
They lapsed into an easy, comfortable silence until Santana spoke again.
“What would your life be like if I weren’t in it?”
Brittany paused as she thought about it. Hypothetical questions were not her strong suit, so she had to really think about her response. The bedroom door was locked, but no one was home, so Brittany knew they had some time. She was glad that once they got dressed, Santana would remember to unlock the door just in case her mom tried to open it, because her mother would get suspicious if she tried to open the door and found it locked. Her mother knew about her and Santana, but her mother wasn’t about to let them have sex under her roof. Therefore, the door had to be locked, which was good because they were naked and now she needed a moment to think.
“Like, if we stopped being friends or if we’d never met?” Brittany responded in a curiously astute moment.
Santana seemed pleased by the response, because she grinned and kissed Brittany’s cheek affectionately. “Either.”
Brittany pondered the question and came up with the only answer she could think of that would sufficiently cover her feelings about either scenario.
“Sad.”
Once again, the response seemed to be what Santana was looking for because Santana grinned at her and hugged her. Their faces pressed very close together.
“Me too,” she whispered.
“I’m still not betting with you,” Brittany said.
Santana sighed. After graduation, she was headed to UCLA for college and Brittany was going with her. Not to UCLA, but to Los Angeles, and Santana was counting down the days. She truly believed once they got out of Lima, everything would be okay. She could go to school, Brittany could dance and do whatever she wanted and eventually they would have one of those lives Santana saw on The L Word when she was in middle school. Not that Santana wanted an L Word sort of life, she wanted a drama free life with Brittany, but she wanted to live somewhere she felt like she was just fine the way she was. Santana vowed she would never let Brittany be a secret again or make Brittany feel like she was something to be ashamed of, and Santana never lived in LA, but she thought it would be a hell of a lot easier out there than in Lima, Ohio.
With her girl by her side, Santana just knew it was all going to be okay. Her relationship with Brittany was the one thing on the entire damn planet she had any real faith in, and she wasn’t going to let anything stop them, not when they’d come so far. It was just her and Brittany against the world, just the way it always had been, and the way it always would be.
Santana was good with that.
--
It was surprising to no one that Rachel was the first of the Glee kids to leave Lima, at least amongst the Glee kids who were going away to college. She left in late July, just after her eighteenth birthday, and just a few weeks before the semester at Julliard would start. She’d stay with a family friend until the dorms opened up.
There was a small going away party hosted for her at the Berry house, and Rachel was enthusiastic about moving, but clearly sentimental about leaving.
She mingled with the Glee kids who’d become a part of her extended family. She liked some more than others, and some of them got on her nerves, but she loved them anyway. That was just the way with family, and Rachel’s family had always been very small, so she was glad that it’d expanded.
She searched for Quinn and couldn’t find her anywhere, at least not in the living room, dining room or backyard where everyone else was convening. She walked to their room and found Quinn sitting on her bed with Maggie in her lap.
“There you are,” Rachel drawled. “What’re you doing? Already making plans for the big expansion after I leave tomorrow?” she joked. “You know you’re only going to be here for a couple more weeks and then you and Maggie are off to Boston.”
“Rach.” Quinn said softly.
Rachel’s grin immediately faded. She rushed to Quinn’s side. “What’s wrong?” she asked, sitting down on Quinn’s bed.
“It’s going to be so weird not having you here,” Quinn said quietly.
“Hey,” Rachel murmured. “It’s still my room. Don’t go getting my ideas and turning it into a discothèque or something.”
“Discotheque?” Quinn repeated. “What are you, some Parisian student name Francois who is learning English by a book on tape?”
“Isn’t Francois a boy’s name?”
“What’s your point?” Quinn teased.
Rachel laughed. “What’s wrong?” she asked softly. “Seriously. All jokes about my alleged ambiguous gender identity aside.”
“It’s just…” Quinn sighed. “It’s just…” she trailed off. “It’s just that I’m going to miss you.”
“Is that all?” Rachel asked softly. She reached for Quinn’s hand and grinned when Maggie took her hand instead. Maggie reached out to Rachel and Rachel pulled the toddler into her lap. Maggie played with Rachel’s hair and Rachel was content to let Maggie do it. Rachel touched Quinn’s hand. “I’m going to miss you, too, Quinn. Contrary to everyone’s grim forecasts about this living arrangement, I kind of liked it.”
Quinn laughed softly. “I’m really going to miss you.”
“Well, I’m really going to miss you, too.”
Quinn was silent as she contemplated the situation. When she was growing up, she thought her life was as close to perfect as things could get. She had a mother and father who were still married and that set them apart from all the other broken families that surrounded them. She and her older sister got along pretty well. And as long as she was the golden girl, she was showered with her parents’ love and affection.
But she always knew that if she ever failed to live up to expectation, if she failed them, that love and affection would be taken away and never given back. When she got pregnant, she thought it was the end of the world, but she never for a moment genuinely contemplated an abortion. It crossed her mind, sure, but it was against every moral fiber in her being. Sometimes, there was a part of her that wished she didn’t feel so strongly about it, because it could have been so much easier. Terri Schuester would never have tried to fool Mr. Schuester, Puck and Finn would still be best friends, and she’d still be living with her parents, because her parents would have never known about it.
But instead, she got kicked out of the Cheerios, kicked out of her parents’ house and her relationship with Finn was cordial and friendly but permanently strained. That was a huge loss to her, because Finn was one of the sweetest guys in the world and she hated that she lost his friendship.
But she also found a bunch of new friends, people she never would have expected to stand beside her and support her. People like Matt, Mike, Tina, Mercedes and Kurt. And Brittany and Santana proved what good friends they truly were. And of course, there was Rachel and her fathers.
Rachel’s fathers were everything she wished her parents could be, and she was sorry every single day for every bad thought she had about them just because they were gay. They were kinder to her and her daughter than her own parents ever had been, because that kindness was genuine and unconditional. When they sat around the dinner table together and talked about the future, they always included her and Maggie in those plans.
“You girls have to come home for Thanksgiving,” Rachel’s fathers told them one summery Sunday morning over homemade eggs Benedict. “You’ll all just have to suffer through the holiday travel because we are not doing Thanksgiving alone.
It was the first time Quinn realized that she really would have somewhere to go home to during holidays and breaks from school. She didn’t realize how important that was to her, until it seemed like she’d have nowhere to go. But she did. And she wanted to cry then and there when she realized she was included. She and her daughter.
And of course there was Rachel, who was much better at sharing than Quinn thought she would be. Granted Rachel was crazy and got up at the crack of dawn every day to exercise like a dork, but she was also sweet and thoughtful and routinely got dressed in the dark so as not to wake Quinn and Maggie. Her outfits were frequently mismatched because of this, but Rachel didn’t seem to care.
She didn’t know what kind of person fell in love with someone long after they stopped having sex with that person, but Quinn knew she was that person. And the thought of Rachel leaving and being alone in Rachel’s room amongst all of Rachel’s things…it just made Quinn sad and she knew she would miss Rachel dreadfully.
“I don’t want to talk about this,” Quinn said softly.
Rachel blinked in confusion. “Uh, okay. Sure. But let’s go back to the party.” She stood up, still holding onto Maggie.
“It’s just that I love you and I’m going to miss you!” Quinn blurted, her eyes squeezing shut and waiting for whatever reaction Rachel would have.
Rachel sat down, looking flustered and flummoxed. “Uh, okay. So when you say you don’t want to talk about it…”
“I want to talk about it!”
“Okay,” Rachel said. “Just checking.” She took a deep breath. “Well, I love you, too Quinn. We’re friends.”
“Yeah, but I love you.”
Rachel was quiet because she couldn’t find the words to say. This was not typical of her, and she was deeply aggrieved her mind chose this moment to short circuit on her. “Oh,” she said finally. “I see.”
Quinn swallowed hard. Judging by Rachel’s reaction, the brunette didn’t seem to feel the same way, which was upsetting because there were times when Rachel looked at her and Quinn swore the feelings were mutual. But Quinn only kept quiet for as long as she did because she wasn’t sure if the feelings actually were mutual. If Quinn were more assured in the feeling, she would have said something sooner.
“’Oh, I see,’” Quinn mimicked crossly. “God, couldn’t you have said something better?” she asked, mortified. “Like, ‘that’s very flattering, Quinn and we’ll always be friends but I just don’t feel the same way’? Or maybe ‘that is so flattering, but living with you has made me see you more as a sister’ Or maybe--”
“Why do I have the reputation for being loquacious when you talk just as much as I do, if not more?” Rachel wondered. She made a face at Quinn. “I was trying to tell you that I love you, too, Quinn. I just needed a moment to find the right words to say it.”
Quinn raised an eyebrow. “You know, you could always keep it simple. That works, too.”
Rachel laughed softly. “Okay then. I love you. And not like a sister. And not like a friend. I love you.”
Quinn narrowed her eyes. “Are you just saying that to make me feel better because you’re leaving tomorrow and then this never has to go anywhere?”
Rachel rolled her eyes. “Oh my God, you’re the one who told me to keep it simple, and I kept it simple. I knew you would do this to me. And do we have to have this conversation in front of Maggie? Let me have one of my dads watch her.”
“Are you trying to buy some time?” Quinn demanded.
Rachel scowled. “Don’t be such a girl.” She grinned at Quinn. “I will be right back.”
Rachel left with Maggie in her arms and was back within a few minutes. She rolled her eyes. “My dads are building a fort with her with the couch cushions. I think they’re hoping you’ll leave her here.”
Quinn chuckled. “She loves them.”
Rachel resumed her position next to Quinn. “I’m not trying to make you feel better,” she said, her voice low. “I really do love you, Quinn.”
Quinn raised an eyebrow. “And how did that happen?”
Rachel groaned. “Why are you doing this to me?” she asked rubbing her face. “Don’t you believe me?”
“Oh, I believe you,” Quinn said. “I mean, who wouldn’t love me?” she joked. I just like making you uncomfortable.”
Rachel grabbed Quinn’s stuffed mouse, Mousey off the bed and hit Quinn on the back with it.
“Hey!” Quinn said in outrage. “You can’t hit me with Mousey.” She yanked it away and hugged it to her chest. “That’s domestic violence, missy, and it’s never okay.”
Rachel sighed. “You’ve had more lovable moments than this particular one,” she declared.
Quinn smiled ruefully at her. “So have you.”
They were quiet for a moment and then Rachel spoke.
“So you love me.”
“Yeah,” Quinn said softly.
“When did this happen?”
Quinn chuckled. “Now who’s being girly?” she teased. She became serious when Rachel shot her a warning look. “Okay, okay. It just kind of happened,” she admitted. “I mean, when we were actually sleeping together, I wasn’t in love with you or anything, but then we stopped and we started being friends and I know that was an ass backwards way to do it. But that’s just our way.”
“Yeah,” Rachel agreed. “It’s just our way.”
“And we were friends and I realized how great you were, and then I started living here and it was just really good. It was really nice. And then I realized how sad I was that we were both moving away. And it made me sad that I was going to be away from you.”
Rachel was quiet as she absorbed that. “I think you’re great, too,” she said sincerely. “Why didn’t you say something sooner?”
Quinn shrugged. “Because we’re friends and we’re living together. I didn’t know if you felt the same way and I didn’t want to make things weird for both of us. But I thought, well, since you’re leaving tomorrow, if it got weird, we’d just… you know, have time apart.”
“Oh,” Rachel said softly.
“Why didn’t you say something?” Quinn asked.
Rachel bit her lower lip and looked down at her lap. “Same reasons as you, I guess,” she said softly. “And things between us were finally good and not complicated like it was for so long. I just didn’t want to complicate things. You know?”
“Yeah,” Quinn said. She paused. “So, you really love me? I mean, in a way that’s not platonic or whatever.”
“Yes.”
“When did this happen?” Quinn asked.
Rachel groaned. “Oh God. You’re such a woman!”
“Hey!” Quinn exclaimed. “I told you and I didn’t make fun of you that much when you asked. This is, like, the third time I asked you!”
Rachel sighed and grabbed a pillow and buried her face into it. “When we started sleeping together,” she said, her voice coming out muffled.
Quinn wasn’t sure she heard Rachel correctly. “What?”
“When we started sleeping together,” Rachel repeated a little louder, but she kept the pillow to her face.
“Rachel, get that pillow out of your face!”
Rachel pulled it away and heaved a deep sigh. “When we started sleeping together,” she said softly.
“Really?” Quinn asked quietly. “Seriously?”
Rachel groaned in embarrassment and pressed the pillow to her face again. She groaned again, clearly embarrassed.
“Rach,” Quinn said softly. “Come on.”
Rachel put the pillow down and pouted. “I just wanted it to be sex, too, you know,” she said crossly. She crossed her arms in front of her chest. “I didn’t want to start having feelings for you.”
She really hadn’t. But she developed feelings for Quinn anyway, and she wasn’t even sure why, because it wasn’t like Quinn was all that nice to her, at least back then. She thought maybe she was just the kind of girl who developed feelings for people she had sex with, but she never fell in love with Noah. And although she loved Brittany, she was able to separate her feelings of affection for Brittany from just having sex with the blonde. But for whatever reason, she started having feelings for Quinn. And they faded once she ended things, but they resurfaced when they started to become friends. And once she got to know Quinn, the real Quinn beneath the innocent act and the bitchy façade, she liked what she saw. And then she loved what she saw. And when Quinn became such a good friend to her, it was impossible not to love Quinn.
Quinn smiled in a teasingly cocky way. “It’s because I’m awesome, isn’t it?”
Rachel snorted in derision. “Please,” she said. “When we were sleeping together, you were not awesome. I fell for you despite your entire lack of awesomeness.”
“Hey!”
“Well, I think you’re awesome now,” Rachel pointed out.
“So you’ve loved me all this time?” Quinn said. “Why didn’t you say something? Seriously. We could have had so much more time together.”
“Not this whole time,” Rachel crankily. “There was an ebb and flow to it. And anyway, you could have said something, too.”
Quinn rolled her eyes. “This is not my fault. Not all of it anyway. It’s just as much your fault as it is mine.”
Rachel looked at her, mouth open. “You’re seriously going to try to assign blame in this?”
“You’re leaving tomorrow! What are we supposed to do?”
Rachel shrugged. “Why don’t we just take it slow?”
Quinn looked at her in askance. “Slower than we already have?”
Rachel grinned at her. “It’s just our way.”
Quinn sighed and laughed. “Yeah, I guess it is.”
Rachel reached for her, hesitantly and they moved in close. “It’s only two hundred miles,” Rachel said quietly. “We could do a couple weekends a month.”
“And we have winter and summer breaks to come back here,” Quinn said softly, moving her head closer to Rachel’s.
“And long weekends,” Rachel said, as her head moved closer to Quinn’s.
“And there’s email.”
“And Facebook.”
“And Twitter.”
“Airplanes,” Rachel said.
“Trains.”
“General technological advances,” Rachel acknowledged with a grin. Their lips were just inches apart. She could feel Quinn’s breath skirt across her lips.
“Technology is awesome,” Quinn whispered.
“Yeah,” Rachel agreed. Her lips touched Quinn’s and they melted into one another. They kissed languidly, and everything went still. They couldn’t hear the music and the laughter of their friends from the living room. They couldn’t hear anything but their own breaths.
And then they were interrupted when Brittany and Santana tumbled into the room, hand in hand and giggling.
Quinn and Rachel drew apart quickly.
Quinn scowled. “Hey!”
Rachel stood up and put her hands on her hips. “Brittany! Did you bring her in here to make out?” she demanded. “Were you going to make out on my bed? We used to make out in here!”
“Hey!” Santana and Quinn exclaimed in outrage.
Brittany had to good grace to look a little sheepish. “Sorry,” she said. She turned to Santana. “Hey, they never fought and Rachel’s leaving tomorrow. That means I won the bet and you lost.”
“Hey!” Rachel and Quinn exclaimed.
“I bet on you,” Brittany assured them.
“You guys are going to have to find some place else,” Quinn told their friends. “We’re using this room.”
Santana looked frustrated. “We’d be better at it than you two, so I think we should get the room.”
“It’s our room!” Rachel and Quinn exclaimed.
Brittany looked amused. “I’ll give you a cookie,” she said to Santana. “You like cookies.”
Santana looked thoroughly put-upon. “That’s not exactly a great substitute, Brit.”
Brittany leaned in close. “Then I’ll give you a prize,” she whispered in Santana’s ear, her breath tickling Santana’s earlobe. “Take me home.”
Santana grinned. “Well,” she said. She approached Rachel quickly. “Have a great flight tomorrow, call us when you land. Good luck at Julliard! Bye! See you later this week, Quinn” She looked meaningfully at Brittany. “I’ll get the car started. Hurry up.”
Brittany chuckled. “Okay.” She walked up to Rachel and hugged the brunette. “I’m glad we’re friends,” she whispered, squeezing Rachel tightly.
Rachel squeezed Brittany as tightly as she could without actually causing Brittany pain. “Me too,” she said. “I’m going to miss you.”
“Me too,” Brittany said. “Good luck.”
They broke apart and Brittany gave Quinn a quick hug.
“Don’t be mean to her,” Brittany murmured. “Or else you’ll make her cry.”
“I know,” Quinn whispered back. “I’ll see you soon, okay?”
“Yeah,” Brittany said with a grin.
They broke apart and Brittany gave a little wave and practically bounced out of the room.
That left Rachel and Quinn alone, once again.
“Do you think we can do this?” Quinn asked, her voice serious.
“I think we can do pretty much anything,” Rachel said.
Quinn smiled, relieved. “Good.”
When Rachel left the next afternoon, Quinn cried just as hard as Maggie and Rachel’s dads did. And when she and Maggie left a few weeks later to get to the apartment she did find close to BU, Rachel’s dads cried again, hugged her and slipped her a roll of twenty dollar bills, just as they’d done for Rachel.
And while it was hard, because Quinn was through lying to other people and to herself, it was okay. There were good moments, and bad moments and moments that were neither good nor bad but left her stomach hurting anyway, but it was all okay. And when she got insecure, Rachel mocked her for a moment, but then reassured her, because that was just their way. And when Rachel got insecure, she mocked Rachel relentlessly, but was always quick to reassure Rachel, too. Because that was just their way.
And their way was good, and their way worked for them.
The end.
Pairing: Santana/Brittany, Santana/Quinn, Rachel/Quinn, Brittany/Rachel
Rating: R
Summary: Part 2 of this story, kind of a sequel to the Brittana one-shot Slave, but all you need to know is that Brittany and Rachel once kissed in a bathroom and Santana and Brittany fought a boy in the 7th grade together once.
Spoilers: Pilot through Sectionals
2b
It’d been a long time since she was in Rachel’s room, but it was exactly the way she remembered it. She didn’t think there would be any changes, but she was still surprised to see that it was exactly the way she remembered it.
Rachel found a couple of Lean Cuisine frozen foods in the freezer, popped them in the microwave and they were contentedly eating them, sitting cross-legged on the floor in Rachel’s room.
“So, did you submit your SIR form to BU yet?” Rachel asked.
Quinn sighed. “Not yet.”
Rachel’s eyes widened. “Quinn! You have, like, two weeks to do it! You’re going to miss the deadline.”
Quinn sighed again. “It’s going to be a real struggle. My parents aren’t going to help at all. But I really want to get out of Lima. But there’s no guarantee I’m going to get an affordable apartment. I can’t live in the dorm because of Maggie. And I won’t have Mrs. Puckerman to do all the babysitting. And I just don’t think college is right for me. At least, right now.”
Rachel sighed. “It would really suck if you stayed here,” she said quietly.
Quinn rubbed her face. “And I turn 18 in, like, three weeks, and my parents are totally going to kick me out. They’re just counting down the days.”
“I’m sorry your parents are still so awful.”
Quinn smiled grimly. “Yeah, me too.”
“At least…” Rachel hesitated. “At least you’re already a better parent than your parents were,” she said softly. “I think you should just…take a leap of faith and go to BU and hope everything will work out. If I had to choose one person that I knew was going to make it after high school, I’d choose you, Quinn.”
Quinn looked at her wryly. “You’re just trying to make me feel better.”
Rachel chuckled. “Look, you don’t get to be the Queen Bee of high school without being a little…you know, tenacious. I know you’d make it.”
Quinn raised an eyebrow. “Yeah, and now I’m a teen mom and a Gleek.”
Rachel laughed, but became somber. “I know Noah would help you.”
“Yeah,” Quinn said. “I know.”
“Listen…what if I talked to my dads and you could move in here after you turn 18?”
“You don’t have a spare bedroom,” Quinn pointed out.
“So we’ll share mine,” Rachel said. “If you go to BU, it’ll only be for a few months.”
“You don’t like to share,” Quinn said flatly.
“Well,” Rachel said. “Neither do you.”
“Yeah, but I have a sister. So I know how to share, even though I don’t like to. You have no idea how to share.”
Rachel chuckled. “Well, I need to learn. I mean, I’m going to be sharing a dorm room at Julliard. I should start now.”
“But you’ll be sharing it with me and Maggie.”
“Maggie doesn’t take up much space, she’s not even two yet.”
“Your dads will never say yes. I mean, why would they say yes?”
“Because my dads know what it feels like to be rejected by family,” Rachel said softly. Each of her fathers had been thrown out of the house when they were kids, too, and they’d found a way to make it. But they wouldn’t have made it without help, and they were willing to help Quinn, now, too, because Quinn had to make it. She just did. “They both do. Plus, they know you and they like you.”
Quinn looked dejected. “Yeah, but they’re not going to want to take on two more mouths to feed. I mean, I can’t pay them rent or anything. I don’t know what I’m going to do.”
Rachel released a soft breath. She wouldn’t have brought it up if she hadn’t already asked her dads. She wouldn’t have wanted to get Quinn’s hopes up, only to dash them.
“Would you want to live here? With me?” Rachel asked. “It’s going to be a tight fit. You and Maggie aren’t going to have your own rooms like you do at your house.”
Quinn’s lip curled in disdain. “I want out of there just as much as they want us out.”
“Would you want to live here?” Rachel repeated quietly. “With me.”
Quinn sighed softly. “I could think of worse fates, but--”
“I already asked my dads,” Rachel blurted softly.
Quinn looked at her, startled. “Why?”
Rachel tucked her palm under her chin and looked at Quinn thoughtfully. “You were worried about where you were going to go when you turned 18,” she said softly. “And I’m kind of…familiar with people who don’t change their minds. So I asked my dads, and they think it’s okay.” She thought back to when she was a kid and she’d make a friend only to be rejected by that friend when their parents found out who her parents were.
“I don’t know if it’ll work,” Quinn said softly.
“Well, if we kill each other, one of us can have her own room again,” Rachel joked.
Quinn laughed, but then became serious again. “I don’t have anywhere else I can go,” she said, her voice breaking slightly.
“You have here,” Rachel said. She looked around. “We can make space. It’ll only be for a few months, and then we’ll both go to college. Both of us,” Rachel said emphatically.
“I’ll be in student loan debt for the rest of my life if I go.”
Rachel grinned. “So will I.”
“My parents aren’t going to help me at all,” Quinn said quietly. “Your dads might be cool with Maggie and I staying here for a few months, but they’re going to want me out once it comes time for school to start again. I don’t know if I can do college. I mean, all that debt just to get out of Lima?”
“Student loan debt is much more benign than credit card debt.”
Quinn chuckled. “Who did you hear that from? Suze Orman?”
“Her advice can be very helpful.”
“I just don’t know.”
Rachel reached for Quinn’s hand and held it. “If I were you,” she said softly. “I would want out of Lima and do as much as possible. So you’re going to be paying off student loans, at least you’ll do it somewhere other than here.”
“Yeah,” Quinn said quietly.
“Just…just come live with us,” Rachel said. “You and Maggie. My dads are okay with it. I already asked. And then…go to college. Go to BU. I know that’s where you want to go. And it’s only about 200 miles from Julliard.”
Quinn raised an eyebrow. “Did you look that up?”
Rachel blushed. “Yeah.”
Quinn paused before asking. “Why?” she asked softly.
Rachel exhaled slowly. “I don’t know,” she admitted. “But we’re friends, and I kind of thought we’d stay friends after graduation.”
Quinn smiled. “I kind of thought so, too.” She bit her lip and looked down at her lap. “Why did you ask your dads if I could move in here?” she looked up at Rachel for the brunette’s response.
Rachel sighed softly. “You don’t have anywhere else to go,” she said sadly. “And it made me sad.” She smiled at Quinn. “We’re friends, even though it took us a while to get there.”
Quinn chuckled. “No kidding.”
“I know we can still be kind of crappy to each other sometimes,” Rachel said. “But I never mean it.” She paused. “Do you mean it?”
“No, of course not,” Quinn said immediately. “It just our way.”
“Exactly,” Rachel said with a grin. “It’s just our way. Other people, they’re nice and sweet to one another, like Brit and Santana. But we’re me and you, and sometimes we’re crappy to each other. It’s kind of our thing and I guess I like it. I mean, even though we still say mean things to each other, that doesn’t mean I don’t care about you or what happens to you. And you know I adore Maggie.”
“It’s going to be a tight fit,” Quinn warned quietly. “I’m pretty sure we’re going to make each other cry.”
“Then things will be status quo,” Rachel said with a breezy grin.
“You really don’t mind if I live here?”
“Well, will you?”
“Stop answering a question with a question!”
Rachel chuckled. “I would love to have you live here.”
Quinn felt tears come to her eyes. Since her father let her back into the house, all she wanted was to hear that from one of her parents. But somehow, hearing Rachel say it was even better.
“I’d love to live here.”
--
It was a precarious balancing act having two teenaged girls and a toddler share a bedroom. The polite, courteous way they treated each other gave way to a screaming argument about hair on the carpet and filched sprays of perfume (with the lid left off). More than once Rachel stomped out of her bedroom to sleep on her sofa. More than once Rachel and Quinn glared at one another over the breakfast table with Rachel’s dad looking on in amusement.
“Honey, this is why we never gave you a little brother or sister every time you begged,” one of her fathers would invariably tell Rachel.
But for the most part, it was peaceful and Rachel’s fathers fell in love with Quinn’s little daughter, just like anyone in his or her right mind would. And Quinn and Rachel became even closer because that’s what happened when you had to share a room with someone. There were days when they hated each other, too, of course. But it worked out a lot better than anyone, even them, expected.
“I still think that they’re going to have a real blow up before the end of school,” Santana declared to Brittany one afternoon while they were at Brittany’s house.
Brittany laughed. “Maybe. Maybe not.”
Santana pouted. “You’re no fun. You didn’t even make a bet in the When Will Quinn and Rachel Have a Catfight pool.”
“But I don’t want them to fight.”
“Brittany,” Santana said patiently. “It’s not about wanting them to fight, it’s about making a little money when they do.”
“But they don’t want to fight either.”
“But they will,” Santana said wisely. “Those two always will.”
Brittany smiled beatifically. “I’m betting they won’t.”
Santana chuckled affectionately. “You’re no fun, but I love you anyway.”
They lapsed into an easy, comfortable silence until Santana spoke again.
“What would your life be like if I weren’t in it?”
Brittany paused as she thought about it. Hypothetical questions were not her strong suit, so she had to really think about her response. The bedroom door was locked, but no one was home, so Brittany knew they had some time. She was glad that once they got dressed, Santana would remember to unlock the door just in case her mom tried to open it, because her mother would get suspicious if she tried to open the door and found it locked. Her mother knew about her and Santana, but her mother wasn’t about to let them have sex under her roof. Therefore, the door had to be locked, which was good because they were naked and now she needed a moment to think.
“Like, if we stopped being friends or if we’d never met?” Brittany responded in a curiously astute moment.
Santana seemed pleased by the response, because she grinned and kissed Brittany’s cheek affectionately. “Either.”
Brittany pondered the question and came up with the only answer she could think of that would sufficiently cover her feelings about either scenario.
“Sad.”
Once again, the response seemed to be what Santana was looking for because Santana grinned at her and hugged her. Their faces pressed very close together.
“Me too,” she whispered.
“I’m still not betting with you,” Brittany said.
Santana sighed. After graduation, she was headed to UCLA for college and Brittany was going with her. Not to UCLA, but to Los Angeles, and Santana was counting down the days. She truly believed once they got out of Lima, everything would be okay. She could go to school, Brittany could dance and do whatever she wanted and eventually they would have one of those lives Santana saw on The L Word when she was in middle school. Not that Santana wanted an L Word sort of life, she wanted a drama free life with Brittany, but she wanted to live somewhere she felt like she was just fine the way she was. Santana vowed she would never let Brittany be a secret again or make Brittany feel like she was something to be ashamed of, and Santana never lived in LA, but she thought it would be a hell of a lot easier out there than in Lima, Ohio.
With her girl by her side, Santana just knew it was all going to be okay. Her relationship with Brittany was the one thing on the entire damn planet she had any real faith in, and she wasn’t going to let anything stop them, not when they’d come so far. It was just her and Brittany against the world, just the way it always had been, and the way it always would be.
Santana was good with that.
--
It was surprising to no one that Rachel was the first of the Glee kids to leave Lima, at least amongst the Glee kids who were going away to college. She left in late July, just after her eighteenth birthday, and just a few weeks before the semester at Julliard would start. She’d stay with a family friend until the dorms opened up.
There was a small going away party hosted for her at the Berry house, and Rachel was enthusiastic about moving, but clearly sentimental about leaving.
She mingled with the Glee kids who’d become a part of her extended family. She liked some more than others, and some of them got on her nerves, but she loved them anyway. That was just the way with family, and Rachel’s family had always been very small, so she was glad that it’d expanded.
She searched for Quinn and couldn’t find her anywhere, at least not in the living room, dining room or backyard where everyone else was convening. She walked to their room and found Quinn sitting on her bed with Maggie in her lap.
“There you are,” Rachel drawled. “What’re you doing? Already making plans for the big expansion after I leave tomorrow?” she joked. “You know you’re only going to be here for a couple more weeks and then you and Maggie are off to Boston.”
“Rach.” Quinn said softly.
Rachel’s grin immediately faded. She rushed to Quinn’s side. “What’s wrong?” she asked, sitting down on Quinn’s bed.
“It’s going to be so weird not having you here,” Quinn said quietly.
“Hey,” Rachel murmured. “It’s still my room. Don’t go getting my ideas and turning it into a discothèque or something.”
“Discotheque?” Quinn repeated. “What are you, some Parisian student name Francois who is learning English by a book on tape?”
“Isn’t Francois a boy’s name?”
“What’s your point?” Quinn teased.
Rachel laughed. “What’s wrong?” she asked softly. “Seriously. All jokes about my alleged ambiguous gender identity aside.”
“It’s just…” Quinn sighed. “It’s just…” she trailed off. “It’s just that I’m going to miss you.”
“Is that all?” Rachel asked softly. She reached for Quinn’s hand and grinned when Maggie took her hand instead. Maggie reached out to Rachel and Rachel pulled the toddler into her lap. Maggie played with Rachel’s hair and Rachel was content to let Maggie do it. Rachel touched Quinn’s hand. “I’m going to miss you, too, Quinn. Contrary to everyone’s grim forecasts about this living arrangement, I kind of liked it.”
Quinn laughed softly. “I’m really going to miss you.”
“Well, I’m really going to miss you, too.”
Quinn was silent as she contemplated the situation. When she was growing up, she thought her life was as close to perfect as things could get. She had a mother and father who were still married and that set them apart from all the other broken families that surrounded them. She and her older sister got along pretty well. And as long as she was the golden girl, she was showered with her parents’ love and affection.
But she always knew that if she ever failed to live up to expectation, if she failed them, that love and affection would be taken away and never given back. When she got pregnant, she thought it was the end of the world, but she never for a moment genuinely contemplated an abortion. It crossed her mind, sure, but it was against every moral fiber in her being. Sometimes, there was a part of her that wished she didn’t feel so strongly about it, because it could have been so much easier. Terri Schuester would never have tried to fool Mr. Schuester, Puck and Finn would still be best friends, and she’d still be living with her parents, because her parents would have never known about it.
But instead, she got kicked out of the Cheerios, kicked out of her parents’ house and her relationship with Finn was cordial and friendly but permanently strained. That was a huge loss to her, because Finn was one of the sweetest guys in the world and she hated that she lost his friendship.
But she also found a bunch of new friends, people she never would have expected to stand beside her and support her. People like Matt, Mike, Tina, Mercedes and Kurt. And Brittany and Santana proved what good friends they truly were. And of course, there was Rachel and her fathers.
Rachel’s fathers were everything she wished her parents could be, and she was sorry every single day for every bad thought she had about them just because they were gay. They were kinder to her and her daughter than her own parents ever had been, because that kindness was genuine and unconditional. When they sat around the dinner table together and talked about the future, they always included her and Maggie in those plans.
“You girls have to come home for Thanksgiving,” Rachel’s fathers told them one summery Sunday morning over homemade eggs Benedict. “You’ll all just have to suffer through the holiday travel because we are not doing Thanksgiving alone.
It was the first time Quinn realized that she really would have somewhere to go home to during holidays and breaks from school. She didn’t realize how important that was to her, until it seemed like she’d have nowhere to go. But she did. And she wanted to cry then and there when she realized she was included. She and her daughter.
And of course there was Rachel, who was much better at sharing than Quinn thought she would be. Granted Rachel was crazy and got up at the crack of dawn every day to exercise like a dork, but she was also sweet and thoughtful and routinely got dressed in the dark so as not to wake Quinn and Maggie. Her outfits were frequently mismatched because of this, but Rachel didn’t seem to care.
She didn’t know what kind of person fell in love with someone long after they stopped having sex with that person, but Quinn knew she was that person. And the thought of Rachel leaving and being alone in Rachel’s room amongst all of Rachel’s things…it just made Quinn sad and she knew she would miss Rachel dreadfully.
“I don’t want to talk about this,” Quinn said softly.
Rachel blinked in confusion. “Uh, okay. Sure. But let’s go back to the party.” She stood up, still holding onto Maggie.
“It’s just that I love you and I’m going to miss you!” Quinn blurted, her eyes squeezing shut and waiting for whatever reaction Rachel would have.
Rachel sat down, looking flustered and flummoxed. “Uh, okay. So when you say you don’t want to talk about it…”
“I want to talk about it!”
“Okay,” Rachel said. “Just checking.” She took a deep breath. “Well, I love you, too Quinn. We’re friends.”
“Yeah, but I love you.”
Rachel was quiet because she couldn’t find the words to say. This was not typical of her, and she was deeply aggrieved her mind chose this moment to short circuit on her. “Oh,” she said finally. “I see.”
Quinn swallowed hard. Judging by Rachel’s reaction, the brunette didn’t seem to feel the same way, which was upsetting because there were times when Rachel looked at her and Quinn swore the feelings were mutual. But Quinn only kept quiet for as long as she did because she wasn’t sure if the feelings actually were mutual. If Quinn were more assured in the feeling, she would have said something sooner.
“’Oh, I see,’” Quinn mimicked crossly. “God, couldn’t you have said something better?” she asked, mortified. “Like, ‘that’s very flattering, Quinn and we’ll always be friends but I just don’t feel the same way’? Or maybe ‘that is so flattering, but living with you has made me see you more as a sister’ Or maybe--”
“Why do I have the reputation for being loquacious when you talk just as much as I do, if not more?” Rachel wondered. She made a face at Quinn. “I was trying to tell you that I love you, too, Quinn. I just needed a moment to find the right words to say it.”
Quinn raised an eyebrow. “You know, you could always keep it simple. That works, too.”
Rachel laughed softly. “Okay then. I love you. And not like a sister. And not like a friend. I love you.”
Quinn narrowed her eyes. “Are you just saying that to make me feel better because you’re leaving tomorrow and then this never has to go anywhere?”
Rachel rolled her eyes. “Oh my God, you’re the one who told me to keep it simple, and I kept it simple. I knew you would do this to me. And do we have to have this conversation in front of Maggie? Let me have one of my dads watch her.”
“Are you trying to buy some time?” Quinn demanded.
Rachel scowled. “Don’t be such a girl.” She grinned at Quinn. “I will be right back.”
Rachel left with Maggie in her arms and was back within a few minutes. She rolled her eyes. “My dads are building a fort with her with the couch cushions. I think they’re hoping you’ll leave her here.”
Quinn chuckled. “She loves them.”
Rachel resumed her position next to Quinn. “I’m not trying to make you feel better,” she said, her voice low. “I really do love you, Quinn.”
Quinn raised an eyebrow. “And how did that happen?”
Rachel groaned. “Why are you doing this to me?” she asked rubbing her face. “Don’t you believe me?”
“Oh, I believe you,” Quinn said. “I mean, who wouldn’t love me?” she joked. I just like making you uncomfortable.”
Rachel grabbed Quinn’s stuffed mouse, Mousey off the bed and hit Quinn on the back with it.
“Hey!” Quinn said in outrage. “You can’t hit me with Mousey.” She yanked it away and hugged it to her chest. “That’s domestic violence, missy, and it’s never okay.”
Rachel sighed. “You’ve had more lovable moments than this particular one,” she declared.
Quinn smiled ruefully at her. “So have you.”
They were quiet for a moment and then Rachel spoke.
“So you love me.”
“Yeah,” Quinn said softly.
“When did this happen?”
Quinn chuckled. “Now who’s being girly?” she teased. She became serious when Rachel shot her a warning look. “Okay, okay. It just kind of happened,” she admitted. “I mean, when we were actually sleeping together, I wasn’t in love with you or anything, but then we stopped and we started being friends and I know that was an ass backwards way to do it. But that’s just our way.”
“Yeah,” Rachel agreed. “It’s just our way.”
“And we were friends and I realized how great you were, and then I started living here and it was just really good. It was really nice. And then I realized how sad I was that we were both moving away. And it made me sad that I was going to be away from you.”
Rachel was quiet as she absorbed that. “I think you’re great, too,” she said sincerely. “Why didn’t you say something sooner?”
Quinn shrugged. “Because we’re friends and we’re living together. I didn’t know if you felt the same way and I didn’t want to make things weird for both of us. But I thought, well, since you’re leaving tomorrow, if it got weird, we’d just… you know, have time apart.”
“Oh,” Rachel said softly.
“Why didn’t you say something?” Quinn asked.
Rachel bit her lower lip and looked down at her lap. “Same reasons as you, I guess,” she said softly. “And things between us were finally good and not complicated like it was for so long. I just didn’t want to complicate things. You know?”
“Yeah,” Quinn said. She paused. “So, you really love me? I mean, in a way that’s not platonic or whatever.”
“Yes.”
“When did this happen?” Quinn asked.
Rachel groaned. “Oh God. You’re such a woman!”
“Hey!” Quinn exclaimed. “I told you and I didn’t make fun of you that much when you asked. This is, like, the third time I asked you!”
Rachel sighed and grabbed a pillow and buried her face into it. “When we started sleeping together,” she said, her voice coming out muffled.
Quinn wasn’t sure she heard Rachel correctly. “What?”
“When we started sleeping together,” Rachel repeated a little louder, but she kept the pillow to her face.
“Rachel, get that pillow out of your face!”
Rachel pulled it away and heaved a deep sigh. “When we started sleeping together,” she said softly.
“Really?” Quinn asked quietly. “Seriously?”
Rachel groaned in embarrassment and pressed the pillow to her face again. She groaned again, clearly embarrassed.
“Rach,” Quinn said softly. “Come on.”
Rachel put the pillow down and pouted. “I just wanted it to be sex, too, you know,” she said crossly. She crossed her arms in front of her chest. “I didn’t want to start having feelings for you.”
She really hadn’t. But she developed feelings for Quinn anyway, and she wasn’t even sure why, because it wasn’t like Quinn was all that nice to her, at least back then. She thought maybe she was just the kind of girl who developed feelings for people she had sex with, but she never fell in love with Noah. And although she loved Brittany, she was able to separate her feelings of affection for Brittany from just having sex with the blonde. But for whatever reason, she started having feelings for Quinn. And they faded once she ended things, but they resurfaced when they started to become friends. And once she got to know Quinn, the real Quinn beneath the innocent act and the bitchy façade, she liked what she saw. And then she loved what she saw. And when Quinn became such a good friend to her, it was impossible not to love Quinn.
Quinn smiled in a teasingly cocky way. “It’s because I’m awesome, isn’t it?”
Rachel snorted in derision. “Please,” she said. “When we were sleeping together, you were not awesome. I fell for you despite your entire lack of awesomeness.”
“Hey!”
“Well, I think you’re awesome now,” Rachel pointed out.
“So you’ve loved me all this time?” Quinn said. “Why didn’t you say something? Seriously. We could have had so much more time together.”
“Not this whole time,” Rachel crankily. “There was an ebb and flow to it. And anyway, you could have said something, too.”
Quinn rolled her eyes. “This is not my fault. Not all of it anyway. It’s just as much your fault as it is mine.”
Rachel looked at her, mouth open. “You’re seriously going to try to assign blame in this?”
“You’re leaving tomorrow! What are we supposed to do?”
Rachel shrugged. “Why don’t we just take it slow?”
Quinn looked at her in askance. “Slower than we already have?”
Rachel grinned at her. “It’s just our way.”
Quinn sighed and laughed. “Yeah, I guess it is.”
Rachel reached for her, hesitantly and they moved in close. “It’s only two hundred miles,” Rachel said quietly. “We could do a couple weekends a month.”
“And we have winter and summer breaks to come back here,” Quinn said softly, moving her head closer to Rachel’s.
“And long weekends,” Rachel said, as her head moved closer to Quinn’s.
“And there’s email.”
“And Facebook.”
“And Twitter.”
“Airplanes,” Rachel said.
“Trains.”
“General technological advances,” Rachel acknowledged with a grin. Their lips were just inches apart. She could feel Quinn’s breath skirt across her lips.
“Technology is awesome,” Quinn whispered.
“Yeah,” Rachel agreed. Her lips touched Quinn’s and they melted into one another. They kissed languidly, and everything went still. They couldn’t hear the music and the laughter of their friends from the living room. They couldn’t hear anything but their own breaths.
And then they were interrupted when Brittany and Santana tumbled into the room, hand in hand and giggling.
Quinn and Rachel drew apart quickly.
Quinn scowled. “Hey!”
Rachel stood up and put her hands on her hips. “Brittany! Did you bring her in here to make out?” she demanded. “Were you going to make out on my bed? We used to make out in here!”
“Hey!” Santana and Quinn exclaimed in outrage.
Brittany had to good grace to look a little sheepish. “Sorry,” she said. She turned to Santana. “Hey, they never fought and Rachel’s leaving tomorrow. That means I won the bet and you lost.”
“Hey!” Rachel and Quinn exclaimed.
“I bet on you,” Brittany assured them.
“You guys are going to have to find some place else,” Quinn told their friends. “We’re using this room.”
Santana looked frustrated. “We’d be better at it than you two, so I think we should get the room.”
“It’s our room!” Rachel and Quinn exclaimed.
Brittany looked amused. “I’ll give you a cookie,” she said to Santana. “You like cookies.”
Santana looked thoroughly put-upon. “That’s not exactly a great substitute, Brit.”
Brittany leaned in close. “Then I’ll give you a prize,” she whispered in Santana’s ear, her breath tickling Santana’s earlobe. “Take me home.”
Santana grinned. “Well,” she said. She approached Rachel quickly. “Have a great flight tomorrow, call us when you land. Good luck at Julliard! Bye! See you later this week, Quinn” She looked meaningfully at Brittany. “I’ll get the car started. Hurry up.”
Brittany chuckled. “Okay.” She walked up to Rachel and hugged the brunette. “I’m glad we’re friends,” she whispered, squeezing Rachel tightly.
Rachel squeezed Brittany as tightly as she could without actually causing Brittany pain. “Me too,” she said. “I’m going to miss you.”
“Me too,” Brittany said. “Good luck.”
They broke apart and Brittany gave Quinn a quick hug.
“Don’t be mean to her,” Brittany murmured. “Or else you’ll make her cry.”
“I know,” Quinn whispered back. “I’ll see you soon, okay?”
“Yeah,” Brittany said with a grin.
They broke apart and Brittany gave a little wave and practically bounced out of the room.
That left Rachel and Quinn alone, once again.
“Do you think we can do this?” Quinn asked, her voice serious.
“I think we can do pretty much anything,” Rachel said.
Quinn smiled, relieved. “Good.”
When Rachel left the next afternoon, Quinn cried just as hard as Maggie and Rachel’s dads did. And when she and Maggie left a few weeks later to get to the apartment she did find close to BU, Rachel’s dads cried again, hugged her and slipped her a roll of twenty dollar bills, just as they’d done for Rachel.
And while it was hard, because Quinn was through lying to other people and to herself, it was okay. There were good moments, and bad moments and moments that were neither good nor bad but left her stomach hurting anyway, but it was all okay. And when she got insecure, Rachel mocked her for a moment, but then reassured her, because that was just their way. And when Rachel got insecure, she mocked Rachel relentlessly, but was always quick to reassure Rachel, too. Because that was just their way.
And their way was good, and their way worked for them.
The end.