Storytime: Douchebaggery?! In The DORMicile?! Say It Ain't So!

[britpoptarts]

O yes, brothers and sisters, I have had more than my share of shitful roomies.

In college, however, I only had to deal with one truly crappy one.

Naturally, she was my first roomie.

She is my "least worst" roomie, now, and it wasn't so much that she was crazy or horrible, it was a combination of incompatibilities that added up to a bad match. But,

Comments

[rabidgod]

You should have killed these chicks.

[britpoptarts]

Totally. But I couldn't eat that much at one sitting, and there was no place to hide their bodies. :P

[nesmith]

I'm rather glad I missed the whole dorm experience; unless I managed to get roommate who matched me fairly well (or would have just left me the fuck alone always), I'd have killed someone. I am, after all, someone whose decor consists of several non-decorative, fully-functional samurai swords.

[britpoptarts]

You can room with me. I rather fancy the idea of a stealth ninja roommate lopping off annoying people's heads and such.

We can get a shed to hide them under, after we consume the tasty parts.

And we won't loathe each other's music.

No, but I kid.

I am actually just scarpering off to another browser tab to start pricing some huge sod off pointy scary swords for myself.

[d_morris]

Wow, I just went through drama in dorms with a now ex-roommate and you know this just puts things in perspective. I really needed to read this sort of thing today. Thanks!

[britpoptarts]

My pleasure. :)

You might also appreciate the story preceding this one. More roommate-from-hell anecdotes!

[jalfrdprufrocky]

Huge posters of Bruce Springsteen's ass = funny.

Getting pneumonia = not so funny.

My senior year roommate had posters of Aaliyah and OutKast on his side of the dorm room. I had posters of The Who and Pink Floyd on mine. No wonder we didn't get along so wonderfully.

[britpoptarts]

Yeah, I'd say that was a good sign.

Jeezuz. I'd be miserable.

I KNOW it is just a poster and all, but I find that a person's choice in room decor says a lot about their interests and values. Maybe I am wrong.

I think the only thing I'd hate more is a big dead stuffed deerhead staring at me, and an autographed picture of Dick Cheney.

[romen_dreamer]

Wow. Dang. Eep.
My first roommate was a bit of a nazi, and ran to the RA when I didn't clean my desk for a while (oh noes I have empty snapple bottles on my desk because there's nowhere to recycle them nearby) and had a little "we're worried about you because your habits seem like you're having problems in life" talk, but there was nothing even close to what you described.

I feel really bad for crazy girl's parents. Even with the alcohol distribution thing, they can't have been responsible for everything wrong with her. Also, did your room doors not have locks on them? I would totally not be able to deal with someone wandering in at night without my permission, let alone while I was asleep. Now you've got me trying to devise a booby trap that would discourage such behavior with a minimum of attentionmongering or potential abuse. Thinkathinka.

[britpoptarts]

They did, but my roommate rarely remembered to lock it at night.

Our hall was small and we knew everybody, so theft wasn't a consideration. It was jsut too much for her to remember to lock the dang door after she went out in the middle of the night to pee.

I'd lock it, but then I'd sleep like the dead all the way through the night UNLESS the crazy girl wandered into the room. That would wake me up when hurricanes, noise, lights and a party next door did nothing.