I DO NOT Hate Dogs!

[britpoptarts]

My mother is convinced that I hate dogs, and mentions this non-fact every time I, ironically, say something pleasant about the little furry buggers.

"I thought you hated dogs," she'll say, blithely unconcerned that no such evidence for this belief exists.

"For the bajillionth time," I will say, with great exasperation, "I like dogs just fine. I just

Comments

[coldfingertips]

Dear Stranger-
We became LJ friends quite a long time ago, but I've never said "hello." So, hello. Your blogs are always superbly amusing. And your Jarvis icons make me swoon every time!

[britpoptarts]

Aw, thanks! I drew that Jarvis myself. With pretty blue pencils.

I'm glad you said "hello." I'm guilty of quiet appreciation myself, more often than not, because I am on dial-up. LiveJournal is fond of logging me out fourteen times per session. Afterwards, my witty or appreciative comment just sounds stupid, and I usually give up.

[cloeigrrl]

"WAH! -- You won't let me eat dead moths
WAH! -- You let me eat a dead moth and it tasted gross"

Ok that - replace that with pretty much anything and it's true. Today I've pulled cat food, paper, and an old tag from clothing.

Babies are evil.

[britpoptarts]

LOL!

Babies are awesome, but completely unconcerned with self-preservation.

[cloeigrrl]

That's an understatement to say the least.

I would not say babies are awesome they cry a lot and that whole "they sleep all the time" is a stinkin lie!

I figure I'm just starting on my army of minions to take over the world though ;)

[britpoptarts]

Eeeeexcellent!

Now I see the whole of your cunning plan.

I approve.

[jalfrdprufrocky]

I find small animals infinitely more cute and entertaining than small human beings. And for some reason, I don't mind cleaning up cat poop, or (pet) rat poop, or parakeet poop, but just thinking about dealing with baby poop gives me the chills.

[britpoptarts]

I'm not keen on poo in any form, frankly, but my ferrets and cats have never needed ten changes a day after keeping me up all night.

[black_spot]

I don’t understand why people say babies are so much hard work. Keep them clean, fed and dazzle them with shiny things and they are happy. 4am bits get hit on the head by making life boring and not worth the time and effort to wake up. 3 months max.

When you can’t leash them in a rocker, you cage them - play pen. Introduce them to a scary adult who will “own” all precious objects in your house to prevent touching said objects.

Out - a harness is your best friend and you can teach them to “heel” and “fetch” (drool optional).

Then they start talking… Nooooooooooooo! Underline and bold.

[britpoptarts]

LOL!

I owe kiddie author Beverly Cleary for the "scotch tape loop on baby's foot" idea. Keeps them busy for a long time!

Good reply, still giggling.