In general, I am not over-bothered by being interrupted - perhaps because, as a teacher (I'm looking to you dogsunderfoot on this, too, I was kind of used to it. Clients at work do it, too.
The interruptions I hate most when telling a story are corrections and challenges - mostly because it seems rude and serves no purpose. If the flow of the story must be interrupted, I mind far less if it's because the interrupter has an immediate need/issue. And I don't mind questions for clarification, either, because so often stories rely on a certain amount of knowledge the listener might not have.
The "challenging questions" choice, I could have gone either way on, it doesn't bother me all that much, but usually questions like that end up causing me to divert the story with long explanations
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i just read your comments about people saying kinda random things (like they've been someplace) as being just an indication that they're listening and now i want to go back and change my answer.
YES! I was going to say those exact things, that I kinda expect interruptions, and the ones that show that someone is paying attention (in any way) don't bother me much. It's those interruptions when I'm trying to give instructions or answering questions that make me want to reach across the table/desk and smack someone and say "Can you please, for the love of Mike, just LISTEN?!"
You know what really annoys me? Someone who is a habitual interrupter. You know the kind: the person who automatically starts asking questions about a step that is still two steps away from where you are in the instructions, or who is already asking you about something you just said, WHILE YOU'RE STILL SAYING IT.
Someone who is a habitual interrupter. You know the kind: the person who automatically starts asking questions about a step that is still two steps away from where you are in the instructions, or who is already asking you about something you just said, WHILE YOU'RE STILL SAYING IT. LOL. There is one in every class, but it bothers me far more in adults.
Kids are interesting, though. There's a lot of random questions and easy confusion. Probably my most common (and least annoying) interruption was to ask me to define a word I'd just used or to explain where someplace was on the map. I get that; it's hard to fully understand something when you're stuck on a detail. Instructions, on the other hand? Don't get me started. Oh, and I also got annoyed at the seemingly pointless questions that I swear they know the answer to, but ask anyway. "Does spelling count?" or "So we have to write in complete sentences?" Come on, really?
i don't get why anyone would be bothered by the first three. i mean, are they expecting someone to just not react to pain? or to ignore a sudden, important epiphany? that seems really over-sensitive to me.
my niece is severely adhd and she interrupts a lot. usually with non-sequiturs or unrelated questions. it used to bother me a lot more, but i read up on her condition and now she is the one and only person who is allowed to get away with that. i read that people with adhd are often able to balance multiple thoughts in their head at the same time, but have difficulty letting one of them go in order to focus on another. my niece is very smart, but tends to ask questions like your one about the shirt. i have learned that she's actually following the conversation, but, unless I answer her question, that one will bother her until i do and that is what can get distracting.
That's a really good point about being ADHD; it probably helps to remember that the person really is listening rather than simply assuming that they're not paying attention when they ask a random question. You seem to handle that very well. I wonder, though, might other people who do that have the same condition?
I'm not sure about why people are bothered by the first three - especially the #1. But, like I pointed out about the seemingly random/tangentially related statements ("I love apples!"), it's all about perspective. I know people that are easily distracted when speaking, so any outburst can be difficult. And I know others who practice active listening and expect the same. That's all I can offer on that one.
The one that would really bother me the most is if someone were to say
"So why didn't you just get a cab?
That type of thing has happened to me before. I was getting to that point, but the point was obviously more important to the listener, that way they could tell my why I screwed up and then end the conversation that was so very taxing on their mind.
If you're giving instructions to do a job, then they all do. Shut the bloody ell up and listen!
I was getting to that point, but the point was obviously more important to the listener, that way they could tell my why I screwed up and then end the conversation that was so very taxing on their mind. Exactly. It's just like with questions you're about to answer when giving and explanation: it diverges from the point and makes things confusing. I do get how some people can get stuck on a detail, but maybe they just have to be a little more patient.
Hi, I kinda wandered in here from RS_Games and was intrigued by this poll. It's an interesting topic.
I hate being interrupted if the interruption makes me think that people are not really listening to me. Questions about my shirt would bother me a lot. I don't get why anyone would be bothered by comments that people just make when they're listening, though. Where I am from, exclamations like "I've been to El Paso" are just part of polite conversation, indicating that the person is following along. It's like one step above nodding your head, or saying something like, "Wow!"
Challenging anything, though, is considered very rude. I know that when my grandmother tells a story, I often want to ask her why she didn't solve the problem in what feels like a very simple, obvious way, but I know that it would hurt her feelings so I don't.
I totally get this difference between comments indicating listening vs. clearly NOT listening. Also, I find it interesting that you know people who do the indirect comment thing ("I remember that book!"). I've known plenty of people who do that, too, but many are over thirty or forty. Could it be an age thing? Where are you from, if you don't mind my asking?
Getting up and leaving in the middle of the story is the worst, since it shows that the listener isn't just uninterested, she doesn't care if you know it. (Also, NGL, being interrupted is approximately 5x more obnoxious when it's by a dude.)
Comments 17
The interruptions I hate most when telling a story are corrections and challenges - mostly because it seems rude and serves no purpose. If the flow of the story must be interrupted, I mind far less if it's because the interrupter has an immediate need/issue. And I don't mind questions for clarification, either, because so often stories rely on a certain amount of knowledge the listener might not have.
The "challenging questions" choice, I could have gone either way on, it doesn't bother me all that much, but usually questions like that end up causing me to divert the story with long explanations ( ... )
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You know what really annoys me? Someone who is a habitual interrupter. You know the kind: the person who automatically starts asking questions about a step that is still two steps away from where you are in the instructions, or who is already asking you about something you just said, WHILE YOU'RE STILL SAYING IT.
Reply
Kids are interesting, though. There's a lot of random questions and easy confusion. Probably my most common (and least annoying) interruption was to ask me to define a word I'd just used or to explain where someplace was on the map. I get that; it's hard to fully understand something when you're stuck on a detail. Instructions, on the other hand? Don't get me started. Oh, and I also got annoyed at the seemingly pointless questions that I swear they know the answer to, but ask anyway. "Does spelling count?" or "So we have to write in complete sentences?" Come on, really?
Reply
my niece is severely adhd and she interrupts a lot. usually with non-sequiturs or unrelated questions. it used to bother me a lot more, but i read up on her condition and now she is the one and only person who is allowed to get away with that. i read that people with adhd are often able to balance multiple thoughts in their head at the same time, but have difficulty letting one of them go in order to focus on another. my niece is very smart, but tends to ask questions like your one about the shirt. i have learned that she's actually following the conversation, but, unless I answer her question, that one will bother her until i do and that is what can get distracting.
Reply
I'm not sure about why people are bothered by the first three - especially the #1. But, like I pointed out about the seemingly random/tangentially related statements ("I love apples!"), it's all about perspective. I know people that are easily distracted when speaking, so any outburst can be difficult. And I know others who practice active listening and expect the same. That's all I can offer on that one.
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"So why didn't you just get a cab?
That type of thing has happened to me before. I was getting to that point, but the point was obviously more important to the listener, that way they could tell my why I screwed up and then end the conversation that was so very taxing on their mind.
If you're giving instructions to do a job, then they all do. Shut the bloody ell up and listen!
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I hate being interrupted if the interruption makes me think that people are not really listening to me. Questions about my shirt would bother me a lot. I don't get why anyone would be bothered by comments that people just make when they're listening, though. Where I am from, exclamations like "I've been to El Paso" are just part of polite conversation, indicating that the person is following along. It's like one step above nodding your head, or saying something like, "Wow!"
Challenging anything, though, is considered very rude. I know that when my grandmother tells a story, I often want to ask her why she didn't solve the problem in what feels like a very simple, obvious way, but I know that it would hurt her feelings so I don't.
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I totally get this difference between comments indicating listening vs. clearly NOT listening. Also, I find it interesting that you know people who do the indirect comment thing ("I remember that book!"). I've known plenty of people who do that, too, but many are over thirty or forty. Could it be an age thing? Where are you from, if you don't mind my asking?
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OMG! Totally true!
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